That four-part funnel is a great way of condensing what every novel opening should provide the reader. On that last point, the pre-funnel: This is something I quickly learned we had to establish as a rule in our writing groups: you can't expect your critique partners to start a novel knowing less than actual paying readers will if they ever pick up your book. Before people start reading a novel, they see what section of the bookstore it's in, they see the cover image, and these tell the genre and some things about the story. Then they read the back cover blurb, “Hero faces Problem!” and that is enough to intrigue them to read the jacket flap copy, which tells them in five paragraphs or so more about what the story is. And yet, in writers groups, we just say “Here's my novel, read it. You'll find out what it's about, what the premises, what the genre is, as you go.” New authors put their critique partners at a real disadvantage for no reason, and put their stories at a disadvantage by serving them up without a proper introduction.
The character is arguably most "important" but placing her/him into an established scene helps the reader visualize and connect with the character. So your order certainly is correct. Good videos.
The best illustration of the boring effect of an information dump is in Galaxy Quest -an inside joke for SCI fi and fantasy writers - the Thermians tell the hero-Five million years ago before and he puts on his sunglasses and snoozes to the end And thank you Carl. I didn’t know there were novel critique websites. (Proceeds instantly there
@robertsuter4671 I'm just an amateur, but I'm doing this more and more as well. Mostly, because my beta reader says she don't really imagine anything after reading my descriptions. According to her, they are well-written, descriptive, but when she gets into the reading flow, she gloss over a lot of details. I kinda have to scatter around a bunch small details, you know, like throwing stuff at the wall hoping some of them may stick. I'm not sure how common her reading style though, but I assume she is not the only one in the world.
@ Description is not a terrible thing but the issue is when it overwhelms the story. Under those circumstances I no longer have to imagine because the author has done all that for me. Drop hints as to your character’s nature via what they say and how they interact with other characters. That will tend to draw the reader’s interest, particularly when they do something provocative. I’m glad you have a reader to provide feedback as you write. That is important. I have no designated critique partner, just members of a writing group that meets once a week and listens and comments on each other’s works in progress.
My opening chapter presents an evil black dragon causing the apocalyptic destruction of a kingdom, cebtered around its central castle. It is relevant since my protagonist, who is introduced in the following chapter, is the reincarnation of said black dragon. The first passage I open up with is a physical description of the black dragon. If you cannot tell by now, the book is a brooding grimdark fantasy novel.
Events occurring where the reader does not have enough context to understand their importance, I call 'breadcrumbs' which lay the trail leading to a story plot point.
Same here, same name. I usually do this in threes: the first breadcrumb is to establish existence; the second is to remind the reader of its existence and reinforce it; the third is to set up the impending payoff.
@@MrFox-rf3cu I find a maniacal glee in placing a seemingly random sentence that any good editor would red pen as superfluous. In the hope that later in the book, the reader would be flicking back frantically to find. As the anvil of consequence descended on the MC's head.
1. "Good fiction is about questions, not answers." See? You can reveal more by saying less. 2. Now I'm completely invested in this new WIP. You have to finish and let us read it! 3. Nice to see Cat!
Just wanted to say that you honestly have some of the most useful writing advice available on youtube. Thanks so much for what you do. You've helped my writing immensely, and I'm looking forward to seeing your channel continue to grow!
Everyone uses the opening line from 1984, despite being my favourite book the clock striking 13 doesn't warrant the accolade it receives. The sentence works because it is also coupled by *cold bright*, two words almost conflicting. Orwell achieved this emotive opening by pairing together two nearly compelling choices. Absolute genius, as the book works by gas lighting with a strong sense of unease
My opening into my fantasy world is a person gathering information for a rapport. Its a thing that we do in our world, which somehow makes it a bit relatable for the work, but it gathers it in the setting and things that belongs to the fantasy world. Even a castle needs someone keeping a close eye on dragon eggs, gryphon riders and trolls in the dungeon.
I think the correct english term would be report. Im dutch and rapport also means report here, but rapport in english is more about interpersonal relation. Anyways, sounds like a fresh approach to the introduction, good writing to you, sir. :)
@@elchiponr1 Ah, the obstacles and quandaries of not being a native English speaker. But alas, it is an interesting way to be able to shoehorn in some nice info dumping in a relatable scenario.
Thank you. I appreciate all your content and how consistently u post. Can u provide examples of 1st pages that you think adhere to your funnel? What one person thinks is too much or too little (activity, context, etc) seems pretty subjective, so I'm curious what books u think have a strong 1st page that fits your funnel *and what books/short stories u think have less effective/less engaging openings and why?
*Marketing is all that matters.* If you don't advertise to hundreds of thousands (if not millions), and if you lack the right cover designs and killer titles... then it doesn't MATTER what's inside; no one will read your work. 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)
Carl, I NEED to know - do you bring the cat to the desk when you’re filming or does he (she?) go on his (her?) own? Also what is the cat’s name? It’s probably been onscreen now and then but I’m often just listening and not watching so I would’ve missed it!
@@duncanosis6773 Ahhhh so he IS there by design. It was equally hilarious to think he runs to the table by choice every time you film or you bring him to the table and he’s just like “Yeah okay this is a good spot I will stay.”
I’ve never understood why 1984’s opening is so compelling bc i thought Europeans tell time using the equivalent of military time, rather than like in the US where it’s 12+12 ?
"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." - clocks that are "striking" have 12 hours on it, like in USA. We use both systems without using such words like "am" or "pm".
I think since it was published in the 1940's most people would be using a face clock with 12 numbers, so 13 appearing on a clock is a little strange. I'm honestly not sure when the 24 hour clock started being used
That four-part funnel is a great way of condensing what every novel opening should provide the reader.
On that last point, the pre-funnel:
This is something I quickly learned we had to establish as a rule in our writing groups: you can't expect your critique partners to start a novel knowing less than actual paying readers will if they ever pick up your book.
Before people start reading a novel, they see what section of the bookstore it's in, they see the cover image, and these tell the genre and some things about the story. Then they read the back cover blurb, “Hero faces Problem!” and that is enough to intrigue them to read the jacket flap copy, which tells them in five paragraphs or so more about what the story is.
And yet, in writers groups, we just say “Here's my novel, read it. You'll find out what it's about, what the premises, what the genre is, as you go.” New authors put their critique partners at a real disadvantage for no reason, and put their stories at a disadvantage by serving them up without a proper introduction.
The character is arguably most "important" but placing her/him into an established scene helps the reader visualize and connect with the character. So your order certainly is correct. Good videos.
That's a great point!
the KAV cycle -- getting the appeals in the right order makes the reader "see:" your novel in a cinematic way and puts them in a reading trance
The best illustration of the boring effect of an information dump is in Galaxy Quest -an inside joke for SCI fi and fantasy writers - the Thermians tell the hero-Five million years ago before and he puts on his sunglasses and snoozes to the end
And thank you Carl. I didn’t know there were novel critique websites. (Proceeds instantly there
As I write I have found I tell more by revealing less. The imagination is an incredible editor.
You want to strike a balance though, so your writing doesn't become anorexic.
@ For me the balance comes through suggestions. I can imply or infer through a sentence or a paragraph rather than inundate with overwhelming details.
@robertsuter4671 I'm just an amateur, but I'm doing this more and more as well. Mostly, because my beta reader says she don't really imagine anything after reading my descriptions. According to her, they are well-written, descriptive, but when she gets into the reading flow, she gloss over a lot of details. I kinda have to scatter around a bunch small details, you know, like throwing stuff at the wall hoping some of them may stick. I'm not sure how common her reading style though, but I assume she is not the only one in the world.
@ Description is not a terrible thing but the issue is when it overwhelms the story. Under those circumstances I no longer have to imagine because the author has done all that for me. Drop hints as to your character’s nature via what they say and how they interact with other characters. That will tend to draw the reader’s interest, particularly when they do something provocative. I’m glad you have a reader to provide feedback as you write. That is important. I have no designated critique partner, just members of a writing group that meets once a week and listens and comments on each other’s works in progress.
My opening chapter presents an evil black dragon causing the apocalyptic destruction of a kingdom, cebtered around its central castle. It is relevant since my protagonist, who is introduced in the following chapter, is the reincarnation of said black dragon.
The first passage I open up with is a physical description of the black dragon.
If you cannot tell by now, the book is a brooding grimdark fantasy novel.
Events occurring where the reader does not have enough context to understand their importance, I call 'breadcrumbs' which lay the trail leading to a story plot point.
Same here, same name. I usually do this in threes: the first breadcrumb is to establish existence; the second is to remind the reader of its existence and reinforce it; the third is to set up the impending payoff.
@@MrFox-rf3cu I find a maniacal glee in placing a seemingly random sentence that any good editor would red pen as superfluous.
In the hope that later in the book, the reader would be flicking back frantically to find.
As the anvil of consequence descended on the MC's head.
1. "Good fiction is about questions, not answers." See? You can reveal more by saying less.
2. Now I'm completely invested in this new WIP. You have to finish and let us read it!
3. Nice to see Cat!
Just wanted to say that you honestly have some of the most useful writing advice available on youtube. Thanks so much for what you do. You've helped my writing immensely, and I'm looking forward to seeing your channel continue to grow!
Thanks so much!
Everyone uses the opening line from 1984, despite being my favourite book the clock striking 13 doesn't warrant the accolade it receives. The sentence works because it is also coupled by *cold bright*, two words almost conflicting.
Orwell achieved this emotive opening by pairing together two nearly compelling choices. Absolute genius, as the book works by gas lighting with a strong sense of unease
I'm happy to see your channel growing, Carl
Thanks!
Thanks Carl. One of your best.
My opening into my fantasy world is a person gathering information for a rapport. Its a thing that we do in our world, which somehow makes it a bit relatable for the work, but it gathers it in the setting and things that belongs to the fantasy world. Even a castle needs someone keeping a close eye on dragon eggs, gryphon riders and trolls in the dungeon.
I think the correct english term would be report. Im dutch and rapport also means report here, but rapport in english is more about interpersonal relation.
Anyways, sounds like a fresh approach to the introduction, good writing to you, sir. :)
@@elchiponr1 Ah, the obstacles and quandaries of not being a native English speaker. But alas, it is an interesting way to be able to shoehorn in some nice info dumping in a relatable scenario.
Thanks for the video! I definitely needed this to compare to my opening scenes, and have made a few edits that I think are for the better.
Thank you. I appreciate all your content and how consistently u post. Can u provide examples of 1st pages that you think adhere to your funnel? What one person thinks is too much or too little (activity, context, etc) seems pretty subjective, so I'm curious what books u think have a strong 1st page that fits your funnel *and what books/short stories u think have less effective/less engaging openings and why?
Thanks Carl.
*Marketing is all that matters.* If you don't advertise to hundreds of thousands (if not millions), and if you lack the right cover designs and killer titles... then it doesn't MATTER what's inside; no one will read your work.
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (series)
The first thing is pet your cat and get it comfortable so you can read without help
Carl, I NEED to know - do you bring the cat to the desk when you’re filming or does he (she?) go on his (her?) own? Also what is the cat’s name? It’s probably been onscreen now and then but I’m often just listening and not watching so I would’ve missed it!
Wondering the same.. I think there is a treat on the table 😅❤
The cat is sometimes cooperative and sometimes not cooperative. I usually have to resort to treats to get him to sit for a video
@@duncanosis6773 Ahhhh so he IS there by design. It was equally hilarious to think he runs to the table by choice every time you film or you bring him to the table and he’s just like “Yeah okay this is a good spot I will stay.”
I also try to have just a few details in the first 500.000 words of the story...
It’s funny, writing in first person seems to make it a hundred times less likely that the funnel will be completed on the first page
When I buy a novel, I onlt know what the blurb at the back says. The rest is unknown lol
8:36 Speuler Alarm for WW III
😂 Lol
hopefully
awesome
What are you feeding that cat and is it smaller cats?
Are you two related and is he a good brother?
@@romko4496 I don't know if we are related. I can't be expected to keep track of all my father's secret families.
@@Stevenroy-Professional-Liarvery relatable
@@Stevenroy-Professional-Liarunderstandable, have a good day 👍
The cat has grown to its massive size by hunting down and eating trolls in the comments.
I’ve never understood why 1984’s opening is so compelling bc i thought Europeans tell time using the equivalent of military time, rather than like in the US where it’s 12+12 ?
"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." - clocks that are "striking" have 12 hours on it, like in USA. We use both systems without using such words like "am" or "pm".
It was written in the 1940s. Military time probably wasn’t as widely used.
I think since it was published in the 1940's most people would be using a face clock with 12 numbers, so 13 appearing on a clock is a little strange. I'm honestly not sure when the 24 hour clock started being used