Im older generation, and it was horrible when i was young . I felt so miserable, at a time when i should have been having fun. No one to confide in , full of fear of my parents finding out. And i never heard anything positive about gays. It is so damaging. I live on my own , which i prefer and i dont go out on the gay scene anymore. Ive had to feel comfortable with myself.
Sure can relate. Although, am truly still struggling as an at home caregiver to an older sibling who is so judgmental, negative, homophobic, and it's toxic anymore, where I live. Am unable to be myself, love myself, be heard, be authentic, and more. Am seeking help. Although, I've been overlooked and people ignoring me all the while left me. Am feeling alone, helpless, hopeless, confused, and more. And I am a survivor of conversion therapy as well as spiritual and religious Traumas. Plus, am a survivor of bullying when I was younger for over 12 years at home, at schools, and at church. Non-stop bullying. Also, I survived and failed (Thank God) of committing suicide. Being killed nearly 5 times when I was younger. And being blackmailed. I reaccepted myself as a Christian Gay Male over 10 years ago as conversion therapy did NOT work; Hallelujah. Am also longing for some lifelong friends and a better support group of friendships. If possible. I was even falsely accused of a crime and spent in jail nearly a month worth. While in jail, I was threatened by others to be raped or killed due to I was gay. For over 40+ years, I was afraid of coming out as I didn't want to be homeless or be disowned. And not one of my family supports me as they're still homophobic. Hope and praying things will change soon.
@theruralgroom4th380 Thanks for your message. I guess that you live in a rural country area. Is there someone you can confide in ?. I feel for you. I think it's very sad that you are caring for a sibling who is abusing you. I'm going to be honest here with you. I was brutally assaulted years ago in a robbery. I was attacked and had my wallet taken. I was hit about my head , and received serious head injuries. I have scars on my head and face. I was deeply traumatized. I started drinking alcohol to deal with the pain. I was self medicating. This went on for years until i hit a rock bottom. Eight years ago i was so sick that i cried out to God for the first time in my life please help me. I have never touched liquor since that day. I believe i have been saved. I have turned my life around. I have eight years of sobriety this year. I don't have anything to do with the gay community anymore. I was once an atheist, now im a believer. I still have same sex attraction but I don't want any sexual connection with another man. I live on my own which i prefer and i live a quiet life. I can't say anything that will help you , except believe in yourself. Try and find a person who you feel comfortable with. I wish you well , and bless you. From Carl in NZ.
Who's listening to this story? I AM BIG TIME! As a gay man who came out the closet at age 42, when I was going through my darkest time ever, and I am not talking about COVID. Not only following religious beliefs that I did not agreed with, to please blood who were never there for me. But also, my late grandmother would have killed me before both she and my late grandpa both passed away. I tried dating, but I refuse to deal with any new heart break or being lied to, etc. I may be still partially closeted today, since I personally feel that the whole world does not to be all up in my business about my sexuality, but I am deeply grateful for where my life and journey is right now! My days of being everybody else's friend because of being something who I am not is over!! Thanks so much for sharing this!!
You might feel like that because it's a big thing for a gay person to come out, but the reality is not everyone does care and you can't rely on validation from others in that way. The person who left that comment clearly have some feelings about it because why else would they bother to even leave a comment other than to just be mean and hurt someones feelings? ..What's important is how coming out makes the person coming out feel and that's what really matters and the only thing you really do have power over in the situation because we have no control over how others are going to think and feel. We have to remember our experience is our own and other peoples are their own and it's not really going to be a big deal for many people who haven't gone through the same thing because they can't really relate, and that's the same with a lot of things in life. I'm sure gay men or their close family members can empathize and relate more to another gay mans coming out than a lot of straight people without close gay family members probably can. Some people can be pretty ignorant to what a gay person experiences and have never even given it much thought., and to be honest they are under no obligation to, the same way you are under no obligation to care about the issues they have in their lives. There's also many selfish people in the world who have no interest in anyone but themselves, or maybe they just don't care unless they know the person personally.. but it doesn't really matter because other peoples opinions or lack of care can only affect you if you let. I even heard Matteo Lane(gay comedian) saying on one of his podcasts that he was at a point in his life where he was bored of hearing another gay mans coming out story every time he meets one. I guess it's kind of insensitive, but then again I'm not gay so it's not something I experience so cannot know what it's like for an older gay man who probably has heard a lot of coming out stories if they hang around a lot of other gay people.
@@janx8695 Great perspective, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree that one shouldn't rely on validation from others in caring if I come out or not, and that it's important how the person coming out is feeling after they do so - ultimately facing potentially one of their biggest fears. And my guess is that the original commenter was either not struggling with having to come out or was just trolling.
@@kevmo19 Yes and my guess is they are unhappy about something on the inside because happy people don't try to hurt or put others down in that way. My point of the last comment was that there's always going to be these type of people in the world who will be mean to others for no reason because they are unhappy. Most bullies usually are and they want to feel powerful through hurting others because they feel powerless on the inside. There's also a lot of small minded people online who make nasty comments about the LGBTQ+ community all the time, especially along the lines of shoving it in people's faces, and you really do just have to ignore them and try to not take it personally. It say's more about who they are a person and you're unlikely to ever to get the approval of those types so don't waste time even bothering. The most important thing is to validate, love and value yourself because none of that comes from other people, it comes from within.
English, Kevin! “To any young man struggling to accept HIS sexuality,” not “their.” Of course, your topic is more important, but it should be expressed correctly. And, the baseball cap! WTF! The visor casts a shadow over your eyes - “the windows of the soul” - making it difficult to really see you. Or, is it that you’re bald and covering up your baldness? Whatever the reason, dear man, the message is: you’re hiding something, covering up something, i.e., dishonesty. I hope this helps.
Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate the attention to detail, I'll be sure to be more grammatically correct going forward. And great point about the shadow, I'll look for some better positions!
@@untaldeelias Do you think desire / thoughts (of doing sin) is as bad as the actual sin? While Jesus referenced that the thought of adultery was a sin; people can think of murder but not do it. theft--same; rape---same;,etc. etc. So your excuse that you can't force you to like women doesn't work (as defense). We all think/ponder/consider sin, but to make a lifestyle--and say to yourself, "I was born this way", is the problem. Of course, you can choose your own lifestyle, but know that after death there will be consequences
@@OwenAllen-z9b Dude thinks we will respawn after death like in a video game. When our brains rot and die our existence is over bud, exactly what it was like before our birth. Just an absence of everything. Unfortunately some humans have such massive egos they can’t comprehend this. “I can’t die and be gone forever” yes my love, you can and will. Snuffed out for all of eternity. It’s why scared people make religions and cults, go escape their fears and let their egos run free. Just remember that your religion is comprised of words, words and books that will eventually be lost to time. Sexuality isn’t something written down, people are just born that way. Your war on any sexuality other than heterosexuality will be pointless. Gay people will always be born while your cult will be lost to time. Live the rest of your life and stop worrying about other people, maybe that’s the other way you’ll find happiness as it’s clear that right now you’re struggling.
@@OwenAllen-z9b If we entertain your delusions then you’re saying your god wants gay people to be lonely or deceptive and live life of lies. Thats the two options. The same god who once thought stoning these gay people was a good idea. Asking his/her/their followers to becoming murderers in their name. Killing the sinners because they didn’t follow your religious instructions. Your faith doesn’t rest in a god, it rests in humans. God didn’t write the bible, human interpreters did. Your whole argument rests upon people “hearing” gods voice, they didn’t have a word for schizophrenia back then. Even the “miracles” are now out dated. Walking on water… bby we can now fly aircraft, resuscitate the dead, harness nuclear fusion, we’ve been to the moon, work on cancer at a microscopic level. The words you trust are written by someone who’s capable of lies, deception and deceit. Thats an undeniable fact. If we are to return to nothing I’m not going to waste my one attempt at life abiding to religious rules that are mostly likely going to ruin me.
@@OwenAllen-z9b i believe god is testing YOU. He is testing you to see how you treat others, in spite of what the Bible may say and in relation to this it would be about homophobia. Something which is supported by nature as gays can't reproduce, but perhaps this is how god has chosen to test your free will?
Very proud of you Kevin. It took me forever to accept myself. We need to be there for each other. Love and support you man. ❤
Thanks man, I appreciate the kind words!
@@kevmo19 my name is Chetan I always say accept your self before others accept you I am gay myself I support you all the way through nice to meet you
@@kevmo19 be happy with your self I am gay myself my name is Chetan
Im older generation, and it was horrible when i was young . I felt so miserable, at a time when i should have been having fun. No one to confide in , full of fear of my parents finding out. And i never heard anything positive about gays. It is so damaging. I live on my own , which i prefer and i dont go out on the gay scene anymore. Ive had to feel comfortable with myself.
Sure can relate. Although, am truly still struggling as an at home caregiver to an older sibling who is so judgmental, negative, homophobic, and it's toxic anymore, where I live. Am unable to be myself, love myself, be heard, be authentic, and more.
Am seeking help. Although, I've been overlooked and people ignoring me all the while left me.
Am feeling alone, helpless, hopeless, confused, and more.
And I am a survivor of conversion therapy as well as spiritual and religious Traumas. Plus, am a survivor of bullying when I was younger for over 12 years at home, at schools, and at church. Non-stop bullying.
Also, I survived and failed (Thank God) of committing suicide. Being killed nearly 5 times when I was younger. And being blackmailed.
I reaccepted myself as a Christian Gay Male over 10 years ago as conversion therapy did NOT work; Hallelujah.
Am also longing for some lifelong friends and a better support group of friendships. If possible.
I was even falsely accused of a crime and spent in jail nearly a month worth. While in jail, I was threatened by others to be raped or killed due to I was gay.
For over 40+ years, I was afraid of coming out as I didn't want to be homeless or be disowned.
And not one of my family supports me as they're still homophobic.
Hope and praying things will change soon.
I'll support anyone who is struggling or coming out at any age. Home we can make this a community that grows and bonds more by the hour. Huge hugs!
@theruralgroom4th380 Thanks for your message. I guess that you live in a rural country area. Is there someone you can confide in ?. I feel for you. I think it's very sad that you are caring for a sibling who is abusing you. I'm going to be honest here with you. I was brutally assaulted years ago in a robbery. I was attacked and had my wallet taken. I was hit about my head , and received serious head injuries. I have scars on my head and face. I was deeply traumatized. I started drinking alcohol to deal with the pain. I was self medicating. This went on for years until i hit a rock bottom. Eight years ago i was so sick that i cried out to God for the first time in my life please help me. I have never touched liquor since that day. I believe i have been saved. I have turned my life around. I have eight years of sobriety this year. I don't have anything to do with the gay community anymore. I was once an atheist, now im a believer. I still have same sex attraction but I don't want any sexual connection with another man. I live on my own which i prefer and i live a quiet life. I can't say anything that will help you , except believe in yourself. Try and find a person who you feel comfortable with. I wish you well , and bless you. From Carl in NZ.
@@theruralgroom4th380my God what you write is beyond comprehension, so sorry to read that....but where do you live, in the Us???
@@sos4550 I do live here in the Southeastern United States.
Am originally from the Midwest.
Who's listening to this story? I AM BIG TIME! As a gay man who came out the closet at age 42, when I was going through my darkest time ever, and I am not talking about COVID. Not only following religious beliefs that I did not agreed with, to please blood who were never there for me. But also, my late grandmother would have killed me before both she and my late grandpa both passed away. I tried dating, but I refuse to deal with any new heart break or being lied to, etc. I may be still partially closeted today, since I personally feel that the whole world does not to be all up in my business about my sexuality, but I am deeply grateful for where my life and journey is right now! My days of being everybody else's friend because of being something who I am not is over!! Thanks so much for sharing this!!
Wow. When did you know tho? What age if you don’t mind
I am so proud of you, Kevin! Much love and joy to you and yours always! 🤗❤️
Gracias Jenny!! Much love to you and your loved ones! ❤️
Many care. Because the people who love you want you to live a happy life.
Agreed, thank you for the affirmation @charmedprince!
This is beautiful! Thank you!
Everyone should care
You might feel like that because it's a big thing for a gay person to come out, but the reality is not everyone does care and you can't rely on validation from others in that way. The person who left that comment clearly have some feelings about it because why else would they bother to even leave a comment other than to just be mean and hurt someones feelings? ..What's important is how coming out makes the person coming out feel and that's what really matters and the only thing you really do have power over in the situation because we have no control over how others are going to think and feel.
We have to remember our experience is our own and other peoples are their own and it's not really going to be a big deal for many people who haven't gone through the same thing because they can't really relate, and that's the same with a lot of things in life. I'm sure gay men or their close family members can empathize and relate more to another gay mans coming out than a lot of straight people without close gay family members probably can. Some people can be pretty ignorant to what a gay person experiences and have never even given it much thought., and to be honest they are under no obligation to, the same way you are under no obligation to care about the issues they have in their lives.
There's also many selfish people in the world who have no interest in anyone but themselves, or maybe they just don't care unless they know the person personally.. but it doesn't really matter because other peoples opinions or lack of care can only affect you if you let. I even heard Matteo Lane(gay comedian) saying on one of his podcasts that he was at a point in his life where he was bored of hearing another gay mans coming out story every time he meets one. I guess it's kind of insensitive, but then again I'm not gay so it's not something I experience so cannot know what it's like for an older gay man who probably has heard a lot of coming out stories if they hang around a lot of other gay people.
@@janx8695 Great perspective, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree that one shouldn't rely on validation from others in caring if I come out or not, and that it's important how the person coming out is feeling after they do so - ultimately facing potentially one of their biggest fears. And my guess is that the original commenter was either not struggling with having to come out or was just trolling.
@@kevmo19 Yes and my guess is they are unhappy about something on the inside because happy people don't try to hurt or put others down in that way. My point of the last comment was that there's always going to be these type of people in the world who will be mean to others for no reason because they are unhappy. Most bullies usually are and they want to feel powerful through hurting others because they feel powerless on the inside. There's also a lot of small minded people online who make nasty comments about the LGBTQ+ community all the time, especially along the lines of shoving it in people's faces, and you really do just have to ignore them and try to not take it personally. It say's more about who they are a person and you're unlikely to ever to get the approval of those types so don't waste time even bothering. The most important thing is to validate, love and value yourself because none of that comes from other people, it comes from within.
I know it can be very difficult. Don’t wait like me.
You’ll feel like a huge weight has been lifted from you.
That's one of the best feelings is having that weight lifted off. I'm glad you were able to get to that point too.
I'm Gay And Proud and Accept my Sexuality i'm single from Ohio
@@ericfreshcorn3590 that’s amazing, it’s great to hear!
Thank you
God made us ALL
god is not real, or proven to exist at least. But we all exist and are apart of human nature yes
English, Kevin! “To any young man struggling to accept HIS sexuality,” not “their.” Of course, your topic is more important, but it should be expressed correctly. And, the baseball cap! WTF! The visor casts a shadow over your eyes - “the windows of the soul” - making it difficult to really see you. Or, is it that you’re bald and covering up your baldness? Whatever the reason, dear man, the message is: you’re hiding something, covering up something, i.e., dishonesty. I hope this helps.
Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate the attention to detail, I'll be sure to be more grammatically correct going forward. And great point about the shadow, I'll look for some better positions!
You are free to decide what sexuality you will live with, but know that after you die there is a God and His rule/way will---I repeat, will--be done
You don't choose your sexuality men. I can't force myself to like wome, just like you can't force yourself to like men.
@@untaldeelias Do you think desire / thoughts (of doing sin) is as bad as the actual sin? While Jesus referenced that the thought of adultery was a sin; people can think of murder but not do it. theft--same; rape---same;,etc. etc. So your excuse that you can't force you to like women doesn't work (as defense). We all think/ponder/consider sin, but to make a lifestyle--and say to yourself, "I was born this way", is the problem. Of course, you can choose your own lifestyle, but know that after death there will be consequences
@@OwenAllen-z9b Dude thinks we will respawn after death like in a video game. When our brains rot and die our existence is over bud, exactly what it was like before our birth. Just an absence of everything. Unfortunately some humans have such massive egos they can’t comprehend this. “I can’t die and be gone forever” yes my love, you can and will. Snuffed out for all of eternity. It’s why scared people make religions and cults, go escape their fears and let their egos run free.
Just remember that your religion is comprised of words, words and books that will eventually be lost to time. Sexuality isn’t something written down, people are just born that way. Your war on any sexuality other than heterosexuality will be pointless. Gay people will always be born while your cult will be lost to time. Live the rest of your life and stop worrying about other people, maybe that’s the other way you’ll find happiness as it’s clear that right now you’re struggling.
@@OwenAllen-z9b If we entertain your delusions then you’re saying your god wants gay people to be lonely or deceptive and live life of lies. Thats the two options. The same god who once thought stoning these gay people was a good idea. Asking his/her/their followers to becoming murderers in their name. Killing the sinners because they didn’t follow your religious instructions.
Your faith doesn’t rest in a god, it rests in humans. God didn’t write the bible, human interpreters did. Your whole argument rests upon people “hearing” gods voice, they didn’t have a word for schizophrenia back then. Even the “miracles” are now out dated. Walking on water… bby we can now fly aircraft, resuscitate the dead, harness nuclear fusion, we’ve been to the moon, work on cancer at a microscopic level. The words you trust are written by someone who’s capable of lies, deception and deceit. Thats an undeniable fact. If we are to return to nothing I’m not going to waste my one attempt at life abiding to religious rules that are mostly likely going to ruin me.
@@OwenAllen-z9b i believe god is testing YOU. He is testing you to see how you treat others, in spite of what the Bible may say and in relation to this it would be about homophobia. Something which is supported by nature as gays can't reproduce, but perhaps this is how god has chosen to test your free will?