Processing Negative Emotions Is Hard
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- Опубліковано 13 сер 2023
- Full video: • The Science of Learnin...
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Full video: ua-cam.com/video/2hIhFlNMFxY/v-deo.html
Thank you for the handy full video link! I was just thinking it would be awesome to find the video this clip came from!
I wanted to watch the video, but it is unavailable
Any way you can add the name of the videos so we can search? The links are not clickable on the UA-cam app. It would be much appreciated. Best channel of all time!!
@@JRoseBooksthe science of learning when you sleep
So that’s the reason I get sad enough to be motivated enough to change my life at 3am, and then forget all about it once I wake up.
FELT THIS
😂
I relate to this so hard
My second response to this is in Shrek the musical full on YT at 30:07. I AM CRYING 🤣 ROFL
Not a doctor but got diagnosed recently, that's ADHD lmao
@@Austinkl Can you develop ADHD? I’m 24 and I I tested negative 10 years ago.
When I woke up the negative emotion came flowing back like loading a save file in videogame.😢😂
Same thing is happening
It was the same for me. I didn't start noticing this phenomenon he mentioned until I did enough self work that there was a notable difference when I woke up compared to when I went to sleep. I think the processing he's talking about can only handle so much baggage. If you're overflowing with undealt with stress/trauma, the amount that can be processed in sleep is negligible. Especially if you have active sources of those issues in your present day.
Your problem is more chronic you build over the day protection from bad feellings so much energy to run from them but when you sleep you stop using your energy to avoid the bad things in your head so when you wake up you dont have the guard you build so all the bad feeling waking up all over agian and then all the loop happend again
This gives an whole new layer of negative repercussions to those parents that limit their kids sleep by forcing them up way too early in the morning (specially teenagers). If the kid is sleeping deeply, let them, they might have lots of stuff happening to them at school and such and they need to finish processing them before they can be their happy self again.
If you don’t let them process it, they will carry those things with them for years because they couldn’t “un-learn” them.
Lmao. Alot of kids problems come from the home actually. Alot of kids bullies are just their parents but everyone assumes its other kids. Ill fuck the other kid up, but I always had go home eventually. School was a vacation
@@whatever3145 hugs, been trough that. how are you now?
Let's be real some of it is excessive screen time but it's definitely real
At Uni now and the freedom of being able to sleep properly is insane
@@alfatejpblind6498 you mean sleeping whenever you feel like it ? people with some type of attention deficit need to sleep more than 8 hours. I try not to have coffee at least 6 hours before going to bed how many hours a day to you sleep?
@@elise9537 During regular days i'd say roughly 8.5 hours, during exam season more like 6 lol
Whenever I get overwhelmed by negative emotions, I go for a walk (usually at night) and queue up a playlist of the saddest songs/OSTs I have and just have it out. Works pretty well most of the time.
I’d love your take on mindfulness meditation and consciously letting go of trauma
And his opinion on yoga nidra (which is "sleep yoga")
I rarely wake up in better or good mood in the morning :/
then you are probably missing out on REM sleep, which is the type of sleep where emotional processing and dreaming happens. REM sleep usually occurs the most during the end of your sleep, so if you are lacking REM sleep, you could have
been cutting your sleep too short.
Me too😂
Me too
Maybe you have mental health problem like depression because if you have it sleeping wont cure it
@@fkhan2006no, they are likely dealing with actual problems that don't go away lmao
Can we talk about mental health during menstruation? For me I still woke up upset the next day, although not as upset. My dreams the past two night were very stressful in nature too. I try to be happy and relaxed, but my mind is so intoxicated by my hormones. I don’t know if I can trust my interpretation and feelings about situations because I’m so sensitive. It’s truly challenging this time of month!
he doesn't seem to talk about women's issues. if you look at comments from videos a few years ago he still hadn't addressed them even though there's plenty to talk about.
it seems his audience is men. "women are people too, guys!" and "they also have struggles!" is pretty much as far as mention of women gets on here unfortunately.
@@scaramoucheysimp well he doesnt live trough a womans perspective but he is till good at explaining many things. men have a hormonal cycle too every day. the testosterone is high in the morning thats why its easier to deal with stress and have better endurance.
Hence the saying: before you doing anything major in your life - sleep on it.
I feel if I want to consciously process upsetting or hard emotions, I typically keep my composure throughout the day, then in a safe space at home, that’s when I decompress and just try to process it.
It usually means crying or letting myself feel sad/angry, but consciously talking myself through it. This was really hard to learn because we can be really cruel to ourselves when we are feeling like this, but if you’re able to give yourself positive self talk and work through the negative emotions, you can become your own mini therapist. That is until you probably head to your real therapist appointment lol.
Lmao positive self talk.
Such a scam
@@whatever3145 Let me clarify I am not one of those people who say don’t ever experience negative emotion. Those people are idiots, my process is about working through the negative emotion by yourself. I even mention a therapist which is the real help lol.
Having generalized anxiety disorder and depression, i wake up exactly like i sleep (full of anxiety and depressed mood) or even worse, the negative emotions stay in my mind
👍thx for sharing, hope you get to the bottom of it some day
@@vivvpprof thank you
This is why I cry myself to sleep, I feel so good in the morning after
I’ve seen some of your talks on Cannabis. Not sure if you’ve tied what you say in this clip with Cannabis, but I think it’s really important to. It affects your brain processing while asleep, so it can disrupt the emotional processing that the brain naturally does. Which is why it can make chronic users feel better in the moment, but likely worse in the morning, as the brain wasn’t able to process the necessary thoughts and feelings
i would love to read some research on this. i always assumed it was because it's easier to distance yourself when you begin a new cycle (new day, new morning, time has passed, it's in the past now)
This explains why I always sleep or nap whenever I feel bad.
My only issue is not being able sleep because the second I lay down every negative issue or stress in my life comes to mind and spirals.
Sleep is like Defrag for the mind
Oh buddy, just wait until you start having nightmares. Can't escape while you're awake, can't escape while you're sleep.
Sleep quality and length has declined rapidly in the modern world due to blue light emitted from late night smart phone usage disrupting our circadian rhythms.
Also people are constantly distracting themselves from processing emotions through easy dopaminergic distraction eg. porn, social media, Netflix, UA-cam. so they just end up with so much more unresolved internal negative emotional waste that they never dealt with.
When I started improving my quality of sleep - taking magnesium, using red light filter, limiting stimulation before bed, ensuring I got enough hours of sleep, I noticed I was moving on from negative experiences sooooooo much better.
It's usually the opposite for me, and I wonder why. If I go to bed with negative emotions, they come flooding back to me when I wake up. It's really uncomfortable, and usually associated with a feeling of dread.
I have dreams about past traumatic experiences (reshaped in a different setting but with a similar theme) and wake up crying or pissed off.
I actually do this while awake as well. Dozens of these memories show up in my consciousness creating the pain that I need to process. It usually happens when I'm bored for long periods of time. Each one shows up very quickly and I don't spend time thinking about them.
I know this is the same process because while if I consciously focus on those memories, the pain actually goes away and I stop thinking about it. If I think too logically, the pain will come back.
I'm still new to learning how to do that. Do you just have to notice a certain emotion and focus on it and it gets processed?
This is interesting cause I find that I wake up everyday with negative emotions arising from shitty experiences that I’ve either had recently or in the past
In a way, you could say that you just forget what was bothering you before you went to sleep.
Before I sleep I feel fine mostly but everyday I wake up I have terrible anxiety. Could this be related to that?
his video on waking up tilted might be helpful
dont sleep on a tilt then, bad posture@@kiiturii
It did help. Thank you@@kiiturii
@@nebbelbling5558 nice
Oh wow, I gave advice like this to a friend who was struggling the other day, glad it was actually good advice and was worried because she was quite troubled...
I've been waking up stressed all week from dreams. I just had a bad one where i was having a mental breakdown in a dream which has never happened to me before in my dreams. I spent the next hour sobbing and trying to chill out
Its also important to note that this is why heavy cannabis use (note i said heavy, before people start attacking me) can cause problems with processing trauma and negative emotions, as cannabis interferes with dreaming, and can even stop it altogether.
Many people who quit weed find they have intense, nightmarish dreams for the first few days or weeks. This is your brain processing all that trauma that had been blocked
Instructions unclear, got myself drunk into unconsciousness
ah yes the centuries old technique of drinking away your miseries
If I go to bed upset, all these negative emotions will just turn into nightmares...
I enjoy the pain... somewhat... Gives me more edginess... makes my blade sharper... makes me feel like I've been through something more than just an average boring thing like always... sorta.
I wish I was being ironic. I really do... but that's internally how it makes me feel... it makes me feel cooler, or perhaps a better word is vindicated, justified, or some other stuff, in terms of how I'm feeling and all that.
is this why i have mental breakdowns at night more often?
Unfortunately, sometimes I do want to remember the negative feelings because sometimes the conscious processing is what's actually needed. Otherwise I go through a cycle of getting upset because of something that happens throughout the day, like at work, sleeping it off, and then forgetting about it or gaslighting myself into thinking it wasn't that big of a deal until I'm reexperiencing it.
Then its worse because now I feel stupid for forgetting and because even though the emotion was unconsciously processed I don't think it gets 100% processed, more like 90% and that 10% leftover starts adding up as the thing that upsets me repeats almost everyday.
that's why something like sleep apnea which seems like "just snoring" and haha funny old man machine is so harmful. i can't explain it but before i started treating it i felt like there were just bags and bags of open garbage laying around my brain. i finally after a few months of treatment am starting to feel in a better mood overall.
After years of waking up to everyone elses unresolved bullshit, eventually it became like daydreaming and fixing other people's psychological imbalances, with just a touch of personal experience, and alot of double checking to make sure im not full of myself, only for the external stimuli to validate my cases. Im just a civilian and im tired of everyone's excuses justifying why NOT to put in the work while awake.
Interesting, that explains why my intrusive thoughts tends to reset in the morning
No my plushies are fighting off all the bad thoughts over night
That’s so cool, wow!
So what about when people have chronic anxiety driven nightmares, my former partner would seem fine one days, then have a nightmare about being rejected or bullied, then wake up in that emotional state and it could funk up his whole day.
Hi dr.k I can see issues you bring up has alot in common with my life and lots of others. You interview lots of gifted kids who are logical enough to get themselves into troubles noone can get out of but I think there is a minority of Nerd or Incel women who are not prototypically pure logical but still exist in between drop out gifted kids who might have also felt like they are bullied by other incels...I feel like that has been my story and I definitely started using delearning to face such circumstances and have yet came closer to embarcing my femininity which has never been the case through gifted years due to constant masculine rivalry taking over my life.
When I wake up and regain consciousness, I instantly remember all the things that are going wrong in my life, like, ah yeah the fuckning is still here. 😒
Unless the negative emotions are making you lose sleep.
Sometimes, I've struggled to fall asleep because of feelings I'm struggling with.
Sometimes I fall asleep again, but wake up at 2 or 3 or 4am, and struggle to get back to sleep. I think that's the time of night that the emotional processing happens, but it's also when melatonin drops and cortisol begins to rise.
If I'm still awake at 6am, all of a sudden I'm sleepy again...but that's when I have to get up!
(Melatonin supplements help me fall asleep, but won't help me stay asleep. GABA supplements seem to help me stay asleep better. Soft music seems to help, or listening to a long video of the Psalms.)
So my question is then why do some negative emotions not process? I.e. trauma. It doesnt just go away overnight like a lot of bad emotions do.
It's slow.... but I believe it.
As an autistic person thats why I find after like really draining days sleeping extra in the morning makes me recover quicker from the ensuing burnout.
I have some sort of attention deficit and sleeping a lot when I dont feel well helps me too! its the best antidepressant.
@@elise9537 yeah like do you feel like the super drained and tiredness after like going out and doing lots of stuff?
Instructions unclear. Weed made me think I was dreaming, but...
What’s the difference between processing emotions and ruminating on an event / overthinking it
I think processing is not resisting feeling the emotions and instead of overthinking, you instead have compassion and acceptance for them and allow yourself to feel the emotion so it can be processed properly
This almost never happens with me.
On the contrary, many times I wake up feeling like absolute shit. Even when nothing was bothering me the day before.
Then why its happening in reverse with me? Each day i wake up and the first thing triggered is either my traummasinsecurities or past bad memories.
Unless you have nightmares
I think my version has been corrupted and reversed. I often don't feel better in the morning and almost always have dreams with these emotions that cause me to physically feel them in my sleep. I wake up as if it actually just happened and sometimes think that actually happened and this has caused my memories to be very confusing because I can't tell if I'm remembering a dream or a memory sometimes. It's really scary and I need help I can't pay for because I can't afford it.
The same thing happens for me too. It makes me stay awake far longer than I should, which I know is bad, but I know as soon as I let myself sleep, this will happen and I will wake up feeling horrible...
I'm kind of confused about what 'emotional processing' actually is. Is it just as simple as "think about stuff until the pain goes away"? That doesn't seem like it would help. I struggle to understand the process.
I dont know about this. I usually wake up, remember it's real and start crying immediately.
ooohh!! i was thinking about why do i sleep like 17,18+ hours sometimes and this is kinda helping with my theory a lot!!
make sense now
at my lowest in life i slept for like 31 hour - it’s sun a coma trust me i was waking up for a toilet unconscious and right back to bed
surprisingly i felt okay after just hungry
Why do I wake up and cry then
Damn black parents been ahead of the game 💀. I'd get annoyed when I would tell my mom I was depressed and her response would be "take a nap"...turns out she was on to something
Is it you are most likely to forget or delearn during the sleeping process so you should not study before sleep?
But then subconscious reprogramming works differently
The girl 😊
I feel about 8/10 anxious and down when I go to bed, and feel about 9/10 when I wake up...so what to do then?
Why is negative emotion so looked down upon? I get its "negative" so it isn't a good thing. But, I don't get the whole "avoid negativity" mindset. Its exhausting to be focused on positive and negatives then it is to just live. Like, these people who only view things as positive or negative don't really live. Think about how they see the world. They only see positive or negatives. They don't see life as a whole and miss the entire point. A man gets a boat, while in the boat one day it breaks, man swims to shore, gets the remnants and disposes of them appropriately. Notice the man didn't flip out. But, that person who views things as positive or negative will absolutely flip out over something negative. They just can't let things be and accept it for what it is. From my experience this is what I've seen. They can't cope with the reality of life. The true reality that's there for all to see. The world is what you make it.
Hm, I thought it’s better to go to bed feeling a bit on the better side, so you wake up in the same better side vibe.
So what does it mean when i go to bed normal and wake up pissed
So smoking regularly and not falling into rem as much is bad for people emotionally, interesting. Makes it quite the double edged sword.
in other words, i can heal any trauma just by sleeping more?
These shorts are too short sometimes...
Does meditating do the same?!
Here for the thumbnail. Who was that
stock footage bro
So... I can ignore emotional problems and they will go away? Thanks!
(just kidding)
Nooo is sooo easy bro like so easy
Interesting. Must sleep more
Sleep it off
“De-learning” doesnt make sense