I went on a date with someone who was listed as childless on the app only to disclose DURING THE FIRST DATE that he was a deadbeat dad to a 2 year old 🙃🙃🙃. Trust no one about anything.
Dang I didn’t find out til like 5 months in that he had a 3 year old with an ex wife😒 and he still didn’t tell me. I found out on my own. Haven’t talked to any man since 😂 that was like 1.5 year ago lol
At the risk of sounding a bit crunchy, I think a major issue is that in modern dating culture we really lose sense of how intensity of feeling is not the same as depth of feeling. One offers temporary forms of escapism, the other offers fulfilment, and dating apps thrive in getting you addicted to the former at the expense of the latter.
Last year, I was able to delete all the dating apps and then meet my boyfriend in person two days later. It’s like the universe finally said okay FINE we’ll give you a love interest. Totally worth it
@@Sandakan00 I always felt crazy for doing this, but something in me just says no to meeting up with someone I've exchanged sporadic texts for a few days to a week with...
Apparently it gives people a bit of human connection / personal responsibility after speaking with you beyond texting. Otherwise with the gamification of dating they don’t feel like they owe you anything and are more comfortable standing you up
my experiences with dating apps were incredibly traumatic. i won’t go into details, but it will take me years to recover from the things i experienced from those apps. i deleted them all almost 2 years ago and i will never use them again
“short-term relationship, open to long” DRIVES ME FUCKING INSANE. you’re gonna try to tell me that you are OPEN to a long term relationship?! just, OPEN? like, bestie, don’t fucking lie to me and try to say that when you go into a casual sex arrangement, you’re oPeN tO cOmMiTtInG. who wants to wait around for that? make up your fucking mind and develop a scrap of intention
As someone who has been on dating apps looking for FWB in the context of casual non monogamous dating, I tagged myself as open to long term just because I was open to long term dynamics, but I suspect I’m not included in the original comment since I made that abundantly clear and was fully transparent 😂
I met a convicted SO on match. Had a call drom the cops to warn me when they found my number in his phone on a routine check! There are no safety checks on these apps, I am so glad I never met that guy but wow it was a wake up call. Be careful people!
As a kidnapping/SA survivor, that is terrifying but not shocking. I know u are thankful for that call from the "po po"...I was sraljed for months by the muddle aged white make with a whole nuclear family followed me & another young pregnant girl. Both of us were pregnant & chosen by him at our ultrasound appointments. It took 9 days to find us. My phone pinged & cctv is what got us found plus he was a registered SO in the area who was a sadist. He fit a criteria on a check list. I was 18. My son survived he's now 10. Dating sites i believe is a hunting ground for so many psychos. Its just not worth it. Glad ive neverused one or downloaded a dating app. My husband im blessed with.
I also met a guy who admitted he'd been imprisoned in a maximum security prison for serious drug crimes. My intuition had picked up that he was hiding something and thankfully he admitted it. We had been arranging a date and I'm so glad I followed my gut. He sulked a lot when I cancelled the date. It made me realise how there are no safety checks on people on dating apps and how risky it can be to meet people from them.
As a goth the treatment that I got on dating apps was so horrendous that I deleted tinder after two weeks and have never looked back😭 honestly I just heard from singles that I have talked to, that they want to stay single, people seem to be tired of trying to find love, which I can't blame them for feeling that way, I feel it too.
I did meet my incredible, emotionally intelligent boyfriend on Hinge (I’m 30 and also live in a major US city). I guess I don’t have regrets since I eventually met him, but I also spent 5 years of my life going on ENDLESS dates with “haha ya I don’t really know what I’m looking for on this app”-type dudes. At the time, I thought I just had extremely bad luck in always matching with those types. Now I realize most women looking for love were struggling against the same abysmal odds.
SAAAME. Met my boyfriend on Hinge - also wonderful, emotionally intelligent, reliable, just all around such a good person. And the thing is, we both expressed SERIOUS relief at having found someone and being able to delete those apps. My last relationship (high school best friend turned first girlfriend) ended in 2018, and I only met my boyfriend at the beginning of this year, 2024. So I spent 6 years trying dating apps on and off and goddd did they suck. I guess I can always say I went on a date with a Trump-supporting drug dealer??? So... Yay???
i met my long term partner on discord about 4 years ago, the rest is history. we've lived together for about 2 years, i moved 900 miles to live here, and we're happy. that said, i do really resonate and agree with celebrating singlehood and just embracing who you are as a person. my individuality is something i have always striven to not lose sight of, single or with my partner. :)
At this point I’ve noticed the ppl around me in relationships have either settled or chosen to ignore all red flags so…maybe I just need to forget all of my morality and self worth ☺️
The last (and final) time I downloaded a dating app, I told myself I will keep my standards high and only swipe right on people I find attractive and have something interesting in their bio. Little did I know I wasn’t going to be able to swipe right on anyone 🤣🤣
i’ve never downloaded a dating app for the same reason i‘ve never downloaded tiktok, i am far too easily overwhelmed. the thought of my brain being direct injected with profiles of people constantly, me needing to decide if i find any of them attractive, and then needing to navigate a conversation with them? with the added stress of trying to figure out if the lied or not in their profile? or trying to figure out if they can even hold a conversation? it sounds like hell on earth i would truly rather die.
I also get overwhelmed easily, particularly socially (even if I get a lot of texts from multiple loved ones at once I'll get stressed), and what you listed doesn't even compare to trying to keep up MULTIPLE different lines of conversation at once. My personal hell. It is literally the biggest reason I deleted all mine a year ago. And I didn't even have notifications on
the introoooo!! yes. a big thing for me too, is being sold this idea of what someone and their life looks like and the utter disconnect you usually experience when finally meeting them, in person. people’s profiles can portray them one way until you meet them, and the body language, the voice, and the chemistry between you fails to match up. like.. the amount of good texters Ive met that just entirely fall off in person.. it’s a waste of time. And you’re right, dating apps absolutely erase the crush phase of getting to know someone which is THE BEST part.
on the other hand too though, there can be success. I had a long term relationship from bumble so ya know, you decide how you want to go about finding the person for you.
I’ve always wondered how many people really think to themselves “but there could be someone better one swipe away”. Because how does that fit in with the narrative that people hate first dates, having to start all over, all the good ones are taken, etc.? I think more people would tend to settle or stick with the person they have out of desperation to not have to start all over.
i think for a lot of people, it’s the IDEA that there’s something better out there. the real life efforts don’t match up with the excitement of the fantasy, so they just keep swiping instead of actually making an effort
i just graduated college and the urge to redownload the apps to fill the void of not being in a college town anymore is crazy !! but this video is inspiring me to stay off of them bc they have truly never brought me any joy or made me feel less lonely
i don’t want to say something annoying or unhelpful but i just want you to know that you’re lovable and worthy of love that you will find ❤ timelines are different for everyone and yours is valid too
I HATED who I was while I used these apps. It would get to a point where I would feel myself becoming extremely superficial and bored. Like connecting while feeling like that is almost impossible
i deleted all my dating profiles last month. for good. never going back. i had my bumble setting to casual dates and long term relationships, assuming that would attract a wide pool of people who’d want to go on dates & see if things would go anywhere from there. i don’t except someone to commit to me after one date (that would be terrifying) but you need to at least have the mentality of wanting longevity & just needing to find the right person to do that with. at least in my area, “casual dates” for straight men means FWB/situaionships and “long term” means marriage. i’m 24. grow tf up & learn how to be a normal adult who dates with intent, not just for sex. like marriage at 24 is scary. why can’t we just do fun fall things together & make each other feel special out of the kindness of our hearts 😭
I feel like for people that are actively trying to date, the apps give an illusion of control "here im really doing something to progress this goal". Leaving things up to chance hasnt been working and feeling like i want to be more active is ghe main reason i re-download the apps
i feel like i agree with everything you said in this video, however, for me, a Black plus size woman who lives ina college town of a PWI (predominantly white institution), there are little to no options for single people other than apps. i wish there were more efforts to have more events geared towards singles. idk. just a thought.
yeah i get that, it’s so tough how everything has become reliant on the apps. i have hope that in time, there will be more of a demand for in-person dating opportunities regardless of if you live in a city or not. it still feels like a relatively new thing in nyc, like the surge of speed dating or singles nights. but hopefully it just keeps moving in that direction so we can revive meet cutes once and for all lol
I am recently single and absolutely not in a spot where I want to date anyone for the moment. But I am obviously thinking about how to date when I am ready again and dating apps seem obvious but I also just feel uncomfortable at the thought of them. I don’t care how someone looks, I don’t really like texting, I am attracted to someone‘s character and passion and the way they talk and think and interact with me… thank you for all the food for thought and celebrating seeking true connection and intimacy
100% agree on this!!! I deleted the apps two yrs ago and in the past two yrs I've done the most amount of travelling, events and concerts cause I stopped wanting to be a relationship to do those things. I have recently moved country so I am whole heartedly focused on making friends in my area then trying to find love. I need my community first!!
met my boyfriend on a really small unknown dating app. The reason i downloaded it was because i was bored one weekend and i kept getting ads for it. On the app u could swipe through ppl by music taste. In my genre and city there were maybe 20 ppl. I think our love for the same music is what bound us together initially, but i also acknowledge that luck paid a huge factor. I probably wouldve never met him anywhere else because he goes even less out than me... Offline dating doesnt work for everyone. Im not a going out person so meeting my person on a night out (who probably woldnt be a going out person as well) is really unlikely. My ultimate tip for dating apps is, if you have any hobbies or interest see if there is a weird niche app for it.
Maddie!! This video came at the perfect time for me as someone who deleted my apps 2 weeks ago after being on them for 10 YEARS (give or take the odd situationship lmao) and I don't see myself ever redownloading them. I'm so glad so many people are feeling / doing the same!!!! I also don't care if it takes me 10+ years to meet someone, I genuinely feel the most at peace when I'm alone :) DOWN WITH DATING APPS!!!
You nailed, Maddie. I agree with EVERYTHING you said. Being on dating apps brought mi nothing but frustration and disappointment. I quit them in early spring and never looked back. I'm so much happier being single and not dealing with 'emotionally impaired' people.
Loving the hat, Mads. You mentioned in earlier videos that you feel like you can’t rock a hat, but you totally can! Really appreciate the efforts you put into your content
I met my boyfriend of 1.5 years the old fashioned way - grew up in the same circles, finally properly became friends in 2021, and started dating 2.5 years later. I never would have met him on a dating app because I’m five years older than him. Never in my life would I have considered dating someone younger than me, and it wild to me how easily we could have missed each other if I had stayed with the apps (picked them up briefly after a failed 2 year relationship but never went anywhere with them). Although I have friends who have found success on dating apps, I really think in person is the best way to go ♥️
I was on the apps for six years before meeting my partner. We got lucky to find each other on an app. Prior to that, I experienced all kinds of bullshit from guys who could just not be clear about what they actually wanted. It also frustrated me just how many people were on there in ENM relationships and there was no way to filter them out. It was exhausting.
I go for about a year or two at a time not using apps and I just downloaded tinder again a few months ago while I was abroad to meet people. Met a guy who I went on a few dates with and hooked up too I’ll be honest, after getting back to my home country he tells me he has a whole wife and two kids 😭 thankfully I’m in therapy because these apps and the people on them are toxic! Now I’m trying to focus on myself instead of seeking outside validation
you speak about this topic so well. i wish i could attach a tv to my head and have this video on repeat so every single person looking for genuine connection sees this message and gets on board 😩
President Dragsback, this video is everything I needed to hear right now. I’ve been having these exact conversations with my friends and your input and perspective is so validating to hear. Next time I’m having a bad day and think about redownloading an app only to start another spiral, I’m going to rewatch this instead.
guys on the apps are so much more rude and insecure, it's unbelievable. the interactions and constant frustration was why i left and never went back. best case scenario you match with a good guy, start talking, and then just keep talking. day.... after day. they never actually ask you out, they just keep messaging you on the app. after day 3 of this i stop responding. get my number and let's get off this godforsaken app!!!!
as a guy this is fascinating to me, i can’t imagine being rude because for me it’s a good week if i got 1 match (i’m no longer on the apps thank god). while women have the volume issue in 1 direction, men have it in the other, so being an asshole just feels so counterproductive
watching this after a breakup and i'm so glad you made this. the idea of getting back on dating apps when i'm ready to date again has been so daunting and i've been coming to terms with the idea that i don't have to go back on them, and this video solidified that thought. if i have another deep connection with someone, i want it to be authentic in the way you described. ive been trying to enrich my life outside of social media and when i'm ready for dating again i'll definitely be bearing this in mind. really appreciate this video!
I was chronically on the apps and called it "aggressive dating" in the name of prioritising dating. Finally it took one last "situationship" (because that's all they ever were) that turned me off them SO hard that even the thought of downloading the app makes me feel ILL. Legitimately it's switched my brain from scarcity-mode to abundance-mode and I'm not worried about finding connections or lack there of. What's meant for me will happen and that's actually exciting?
Okay but like everything yousaid from 22:06-23:30 was EVERYTHINGGGG I always tell my friends & family. Especially since I just turned 30 years old & don´t have a ``need´´ to date, meet someone or have sex with someone. Like....if it happens & I met my forver person great, wonderful. But, I´´[m perfectly content with who, where & who I am. Dang, ALL that I learned about myself in my mid to late 20´s was soul searching. Much love always from Brasil.
Same here. Turned 30 this summer and I finally feel at peace with myself. I’d love to meet a great person and get married, but I no longer feel like it has to happen for me to be happy. That weird pressure I felt in my mid twenties is gone now.
@@becca53444 We’re really all out here living the same life huh 🤣🫶😂🙌😌🙏 In exactly the same boat. I really don’t care if I meet someone now, it’s actually not as important as I thought it was for the longest time. I’m enjoying my solo life so much in the present. All that pressure that existed during my 20s ALL GONE…JUST LIKE THAT ❤️🥳 This means I’m only dating or entertaining men on my terms now, not anybody else’s. My choice whether to engage or not.
I really appreciate in this video how you consistently referred to your dates as “people’ and not a specific gender. Its honestly encouraging to see a creator like you not making the dating app issue a gendered one. A lot different people on those apps were on demon time😂
I quit dating apps for nearly 2 yrs and don’t miss it one bit. It felt like a huge waste of time. As a fellow New Yorker, I don’t have much free time. I felt sick of wasting a Friday night on a crappy date with some douche who treated me like a sex object. There are much better ways to spend time than being glued to your phone & having conversations with strangers that most likely won’t go anywhere. Unlike you, I haven’t noticed a decline in dating app usage amongst my peers, however.. but it’s mostly my lonely straight male friends who use the apps. Quite a few of my friends exclusively meet ppl through the apps bc it’s more convenient for them. I’d rather be single and productive with how I spend my time until I find the right connection irl.
the way i just downloaded one of these apps for the first time in my life recently and i am already miserable 😭 but I've never been on a date in my life so I felt like it was my only option at this point. but it's not worth being miserable and feeling like I'm putting out more energy than the people that just like a picture of me. (especially the men who like my profile and we CLEARLY have opposite life goals??? do they refuse to READ) anyway ... I'm going to a local munch for the first time at a restaurant I already love, and I'm WAY more excited about that
It’s frustrating because my parents didn’t allow me to date or socialize much in college or grad school! It only after moving out at 25 that I could even start dating, which is when I started dating apps. Haven’t had success on them. Now at almost 29, my parents are freaking out about me dying alone 😅
maddie you, your insights and your content have actually and truly changed my life for the better and i just want to say thank you for continuing to post, even when times are hard
Our Queen, Maddie, the genius in every split second of this video was absolutely mind-blowing!! My gosh, you are sensational!!! 😍👏👏😍 This deserves an actual award in itself, beautiful. Soo many of us lover girlies absolutely living for and loving you and your content, oh my gosh! xx
Me and my bf met on "Facebook dating" and have been together now almost 3 years. We both were kind of "casually dating" but ended up really being so great for each other. We had similar goals and morals and really liked each other from the start. It wasn't a perfect start with both of us kind of being scared and playing a little hard to get but in the end we worked through that quickly and became exclusive a few weeks into seeing each other.
I'm loving the intro. 😭 You just continue to produce the most high quality content. This video could also not have more perfect timing in my life as I have recently sworn off dating apps and decided to turn my focus inwards. Speaking the truth for real ✨
Me, never having been on dating apps in my life: mhm, yes, so true, they're SO exhausting! 😂 But in all seriousness, I like your takes amd you pretty much summarised all that can be observed when it comes to dating via an app. I love that you mentioned that swiping through hundreds of faces and profiles to categorize people as "hot or not" is a bit of a crazy concept
The apps are just a medium connecting people trying to do a thing. The problem is the people (the men)(yes I realize I’m biased, but I said what I said) and the thing (this elusive concept of “dating” with no cohesive agenda) is fckd.
i agree that men are the main issue, but i don’t think dating apps are entirely off the hook either. they create a culture of dehumanization (men are already prone to dehumanizing women and dating apps actively encourage it). they also do absolutely nothing to protect their users, no background checks are required which leads to a lot of dangerous and married men on these apps.
I am so with you on this one! I'm on a similar journey and it was really nice to hear someone talk about this topic like this. Thank you for a lovely chat Maddie💜
Ahh this is too good! I need to rewatch this every time I get the urge to redownload dating apps. You summarize everything I have been feeling so perfectly
i took 6 months off of dating in 2022 because of you and i cannot explain how it changed my life. the only downside ! is that now i actually understand my emotional maturity and um . yeah most do not :( doesn’t matter though because truly the intentional no dating time reshaped my relationship w myself and there’s nothing more important. never felt more fulfilled than when i have myself. thank u maddie ur incredible
Maddie this video spoke to me so much!! I am also a 27 year old gal who has given up on the dating apps, and I loved the way you framed wanting to be happy in the time before you happen to meet someone 10 years from now, as I feel like that's the thing I've been working on the most the last 6 months or so! And I think it's definitely hard to do that while also waiting genuine companionship/feeling ready to be in a relationship, but there is also is a lot of joy in being single and living your little romantic single life!!
Your view on love and relationships is so sweet and I love how you are unabashedly yourself and know what you want. I was single for many years in my twenties and thirties and I, like you, found great meaning and joy in solitary time and in romanticizing myself and my single life. I also found dating apps to sometimes be overwhelming and emotionally draining as a woman. I wonder though if applying some of your open heartedness and curiosity to apps might give surprising results. People, especially men, are sometimes not as clear on their vision for love and wounds and defenses can get in the way, even though true love is under there, waiting. It's sometimes worth it to be patient and try. I met my partner on dating apps and it was a slow process that led to love. I also met really interesting people and had stimulating conversations while dating through apps! I do understand and advocate for taking time to care for your mental health off dating apps if it makes you feel disconnected from yourself. Dating apps are just an added tool to finding love!
I appreciate your kind and thoughtful comment :) I think that is how I approached the apps while I was on them hahaha! I was direct, vulnerable, open-minded, and really have just always led with my heart, not letting rejection or lack of compatibility get me down for long. Though I had some positive experiences through the apps, for me the few strokes of luck didn’t outweigh the massive negatives. For a while, I actually had a similar take- that it was just another way to meet people and the app itself was a somewhat neutral space. But I think over time my opinion shifted seeing how little the app companies did to protect their users from people using the app to degrade, disrespect, and lie- all while continuing to market them in a way that didn't actually reflect the reality of what using them is like. I think sometimes, for people that have met long-term partners on the apps, you might see them differently than people that haven't had the same luck- people that could've behaved in the same exact way that you did but still had different results. I always left my dates feeling proud of how I showed up and feeling aligned in myself and my wants- it was finding someone that totally matched how I was able to show up that was hard whether they were good people that couldn't commit or bad people who over-sexualized me as a plus-size woman. Even the good ones made me feel shitty sometimes, the repetitive nature of the apps, particularly in a place like NYC which feels like it's become known for commitmentphobes at this point, can feel particularly exhausting when you're showing up ready and vulnerable and other people just can't emotionally get there and match what you bring to the table (And if I am being totally honest with myself, I think I have a track record of sticking around for too long, remaining patient and hopeful that someone can grow into their readiness in time *sigh*). Anyways, all of that to say, the negatives just outweighed the positives for me and ultimately, my opinion has been largely swayed by how these companies have chosen to ignore the flaws in their algorithms and assist the dangerous people on their apps in pursuit of more money and more ways to keep people on their platforms for longer. I'm so happy for people that have had different experiences on the apps (truly hahaha thank god some people have been spared from the absurdity) but for me, I think I'm at the end of my rope in terms of my understanding for these platforms hahaha but who knows, my opinion could change again in the future! I just wish the apps would take a more aggressive stance on the behaviors that make their platforms miserable for some.
I love this video, but I do wonder to what extent these issues are specific to *dating men* on dating apps, not just the apps themselves. While dating women on apps can also be a wild time, I (and other friends who date women) do seem to avoid a lot of the more egregious lying and emotional incompetence that you're describing.
Yeah I resonate with that feeling! I do relate to my straight and bi female friends on some of the issues they have with the apps, but my actual interactions with women are generally lovely, especially with the ones who I get to meet irl. Even if there's no romantic spark, usually me and another queer woman my age will get along pretty well and have a good time on a date. And typically these women are very open to discussing what they're looking for on the apps and what they hope for in a future relationship.
@@siiri8902 This is interesting. A lot of queer women have said (from my time on reddit lol) that they can’t get past the texting stage. Although i’m uncomfortable with the fact that with apps you’re truly just going off of looks and you’re putting yourself in a market (it’s giving having to sell yourself) , your experience is making me curious. Perhaps I will just try it out and see for myself.
while my interactions and experiences with non men on apps are more pleasant and less traumatic than my interactions and experiences with men, i will say i have been equally let down and just wanting to give up dating apps and dating from all genders on the apps like the amount of time i have wasted texting people and setting up first dates just to immediately know that i wasn't attracted to them when we actually met in person
honestly i love my singlehood. haven't been on dating apps for over 2-3 years now. does it mean my cancer sun PLUS venus in gemini ever leaves me alone?? never. i have too many crushes, and did have my heart broken at least twice in the past 2 years. but that's life lifing in a good way. i'm not in a hurry to find "the one" -- maybe i'll never find that person and lowkey?? i'm kinda okay with that. i love my solitude; i'll try to cherish and honour it at all costs. i love my family and friends, and i feel deeply loved by them as well. sooo. what's a dating app? i don't know her hshsj 😋 i DO worry that i might be getting too delulu for anime crushes though lmao
you perfectly described how i feel! i’m not gonna completely shut myself off to the potential of a relationship, but i also know that finding “the one” may never happen for me. it doesn’t for a lot of people, and that’s ok. we can still have fulfilling and beautiful lives without a romantic relationship
I definitely agree with not having casual pick-up. I almost caved but thankfully things happened and I took it as a sign. I said that I don't want to do anything unless I know we're going to be dating exclusively. Although learning that 1/10 are cheaters is making me really think about how to possibly stop a cheater from talking to me.
This video is so validating, and I'm so glad dating apps are dying. I used them for the first time in quarantine, and they were awful for my mental health. I didn't even meet any assholes, the ways the apps worked just made me feel like shit, and made it very apparent that I needed therapy. I used one for the last time in mid 2022 for a month and have never gone back. Amusingly in early 2023 I accidentally met a guy I really connected with on Discord of all places (I kind of hate discord and never made a friend on there previously because as we all know 95% of discord is whack) We're taking it slow, I'm in therapy, and I feel much freer from societies expectations. Besides dating apps I also feel like in many ways the internet is becoming a smaller part of my life as a whole, and seemingly a smaller part of everyone else's lives as well, which is a relief. I feel like we're all waking up from dormancy.
I was just thinking of what to do and then the notification!! Such perfect timing 💗 definitely will enjoy and relate in some ways.👁️👁️I've never used dating apps..
I met my spouse on the apps and truly, it was just wild luck. The apps are a hellscape and the only thing I credit them with is getting me in the same room as someone I never would have met otherwise. Pure dumb luck that we were both fucking around on the apps at the same time
Dating apps had their time and now that I am 39, I just don't care about it. I used it in my early 30's and found some dudes here and there and only one seemed memorable but was never sure about long term. Ironically, my "dating app" happens to be online gaming where I met two bf's there and now were just good friends instead cause the dating thing didn't work out. At this point, I am pretty happy and prefer just to make friends and connections and if a special someone comes along then great but I don't think I need to devote anymore effort to date people through these weird apps.
Ive recently gone through a breakup and redownloaded the apps, and I have a date saturday and talking to a few people but... I just dont know how else to meet people, especially when a lot of these things cost money to go do, like its hard to go to hobby class regularly or nights at bars. I work from home too so it just feels like the only option to meet someone sometimes, even friends, but I do want to try to do other things on top of the app
42 female, been single my whole life. Have not met one suitable man on dating apps, but keep going back for like a week once a year 😂 I have no idea how else to meet anyone!
Use code MADDIE10 for 10% off tickets on SeatGeek (up to $25 off). seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/MADDIE10 Sponsored by SeatGeek
I went on a date with someone who was listed as childless on the app only to disclose DURING THE FIRST DATE that he was a deadbeat dad to a 2 year old 🙃🙃🙃. Trust no one about anything.
this is BANANAS lmfao
Dang I didn’t find out til like 5 months in that he had a 3 year old with an ex wife😒 and he still didn’t tell me. I found out on my own. Haven’t talked to any man since 😂 that was like 1.5 year ago lol
It's because men approach dating like job applications. They'll do anything just to get an interview.
This is exactly why I don’t even want to try dating apps. Terrifying the way men think it’s acceptable to behave.
yeah he was childless alright! Sucks! Glad you found out early and didn't waste your time!
At the risk of sounding a bit crunchy, I think a major issue is that in modern dating culture we really lose sense of how intensity of feeling is not the same as depth of feeling. One offers temporary forms of escapism, the other offers fulfilment, and dating apps thrive in getting you addicted to the former at the expense of the latter.
very well put!
@@DasAlena Thank you!
Last year, I was able to delete all the dating apps and then meet my boyfriend in person two days later. It’s like the universe finally said okay FINE we’ll give you a love interest. Totally worth it
Not a bumble ad playing before this video
Dating apps helped me to get over social anxiety, but that's about it and I don't really need it for that anymore.
My hinge date just cancelled on me thirty mins before we were to meet so this is eerily perfect timing!
I’ve heard a video/ phone call as a screener before meeting as a tip. I found 1/3 plans would actually follow through without it
@@Sandakan00 I always felt crazy for doing this, but something in me just says no to meeting up with someone I've exchanged sporadic texts for a few days to a week with...
Apparently it gives people a bit of human connection / personal responsibility after speaking with you beyond texting. Otherwise with the gamification of dating they don’t feel like they owe you anything and are more comfortable standing you up
This opening scene is everything!
I stopped wanting to date when I realized that I have way much more fun when I'm out with myself, out with my friends is a close second.
my experiences with dating apps were incredibly traumatic. i won’t go into details, but it will take me years to recover from the things i experienced from those apps. i deleted them all almost 2 years ago and i will never use them again
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope you're healing 💛
“short-term relationship, open to long” DRIVES ME FUCKING INSANE. you’re gonna try to tell me that you are OPEN to a long term relationship?! just, OPEN? like, bestie, don’t fucking lie to me and try to say that when you go into a casual sex arrangement, you’re oPeN tO cOmMiTtInG. who wants to wait around for that? make up your fucking mind and develop a scrap of intention
Well said!!!! Literally why be at the whim of whatever, set an intention! Agreed agreed agreed
I actually like that feature of Hinge. I think it's a clear intention and if you are ready for commitment right now it makes it easy to swipe left.
As someone who has been on dating apps looking for FWB in the context of casual non monogamous dating, I tagged myself as open to long term just because I was open to long term dynamics, but I suspect I’m not included in the original comment since I made that abundantly clear and was fully transparent 😂
💯
OMG soooo realllll!!!!!!
I met a convicted SO on match. Had a call drom the cops to warn me when they found my number in his phone on a routine check! There are no safety checks on these apps, I am so glad I never met that guy but wow it was a wake up call. Be careful people!
As a kidnapping/SA survivor, that is terrifying but not shocking. I know u are thankful for that call from the "po po"...I was sraljed for months by the muddle aged white make with a whole nuclear family followed me & another young pregnant girl. Both of us were pregnant & chosen by him at our ultrasound appointments. It took 9 days to find us. My phone pinged & cctv is what got us found plus he was a registered SO in the area who was a sadist. He fit a criteria on a check list. I was 18. My son survived he's now 10.
Dating sites i believe is a hunting ground for so many psychos. Its just not worth it. Glad ive neverused one or downloaded a dating app. My husband im blessed with.
I also met a guy who admitted he'd been imprisoned in a maximum security prison for serious drug crimes. My intuition had picked up that he was hiding something and thankfully he admitted it. We had been arranging a date and I'm so glad I followed my gut. He sulked a lot when I cancelled the date. It made me realise how there are no safety checks on people on dating apps and how risky it can be to meet people from them.
As a goth the treatment that I got on dating apps was so horrendous that I deleted tinder after two weeks and have never looked back😭 honestly I just heard from singles that I have talked to, that they want to stay single, people seem to be tired of trying to find love, which I can't blame them for feeling that way, I feel it too.
Omg oh no, what was your experience if you don't mind sharing?
omg i thought it was just me ????
I did meet my incredible, emotionally intelligent boyfriend on Hinge (I’m 30 and also live in a major US city). I guess I don’t have regrets since I eventually met him, but I also spent 5 years of my life going on ENDLESS dates with “haha ya I don’t really know what I’m looking for on this app”-type dudes. At the time, I thought I just had extremely bad luck in always matching with those types. Now I realize most women looking for love were struggling against the same abysmal odds.
SAAAME. Met my boyfriend on Hinge - also wonderful, emotionally intelligent, reliable, just all around such a good person. And the thing is, we both expressed SERIOUS relief at having found someone and being able to delete those apps. My last relationship (high school best friend turned first girlfriend) ended in 2018, and I only met my boyfriend at the beginning of this year, 2024. So I spent 6 years trying dating apps on and off and goddd did they suck. I guess I can always say I went on a date with a Trump-supporting drug dealer??? So... Yay???
i met my long term partner on discord about 4 years ago, the rest is history. we've lived together for about 2 years, i moved 900 miles to live here, and we're happy. that said, i do really resonate and agree with celebrating singlehood and just embracing who you are as a person. my individuality is something i have always striven to not lose sight of, single or with my partner. :)
my dating app era is also over! focusing on me, myself, and i ❣
At this point I’ve noticed the ppl around me in relationships have either settled or chosen to ignore all red flags so…maybe I just need to forget all of my morality and self worth ☺️
The last (and final) time I downloaded a dating app, I told myself I will keep my standards high and only swipe right on people I find attractive and have something interesting in their bio. Little did I know I wasn’t going to be able to swipe right on anyone 🤣🤣
Literally same! I was on there for months and swiped right on like 4 people 😂
Same! Then I gave up😂
Yep
i have the flu, but maddie posted four minutes ago so im actually okay
feel better!!!
I have a broken foot, but maddie posted four minutes ago so I’m actually okay🙂↕️
sick girlz unite 😭😭 struggling at work rn lol i want to sleeeeepppp
@@MaddieDragsbaek oml thank you queen :,,,D
@@kyrasaturn ouff hope u got some sleep
i’ve never downloaded a dating app for the same reason i‘ve never downloaded tiktok, i am far too easily overwhelmed.
the thought of my brain being direct injected with profiles of people constantly, me needing to decide if i find any of them attractive, and then needing to navigate a conversation with them? with the added stress of trying to figure out if the lied or not in their profile? or trying to figure out if they can even hold a conversation? it sounds like hell on earth i would truly rather die.
I also get overwhelmed easily, particularly socially (even if I get a lot of texts from multiple loved ones at once I'll get stressed), and what you listed doesn't even compare to trying to keep up MULTIPLE different lines of conversation at once. My personal hell. It is literally the biggest reason I deleted all mine a year ago. And I didn't even have notifications on
the introoooo!! yes.
a big thing for me too, is being sold this idea of what someone and their life looks like and the utter disconnect you usually experience when finally meeting them, in person. people’s profiles can portray them one way until you meet them, and the body language, the voice, and the chemistry between you fails to match up. like.. the amount of good texters Ive met that just entirely fall off in person.. it’s a waste of time.
And you’re right, dating apps absolutely erase the crush phase of getting to know someone which is THE BEST part.
on the other hand too though, there can be success. I had a long term relationship from bumble so ya know, you decide how you want to go about finding the person for you.
@@LuLusVideos220and you’re one of the lucky ones. a dating app relationship won’t happen or work for most people
I’ve always wondered how many people really think to themselves “but there could be someone better one swipe away”. Because how does that fit in with the narrative that people hate first dates, having to start all over, all the good ones are taken, etc.? I think more people would tend to settle or stick with the person they have out of desperation to not have to start all over.
I think there is a distinction to be made between activity on the app vs interactions with each other (in person mostly)
i think for a lot of people, it’s the IDEA that there’s something better out there. the real life efforts don’t match up with the excitement of the fantasy, so they just keep swiping instead of actually making an effort
i just graduated college and the urge to redownload the apps to fill the void of not being in a college town anymore is crazy !! but this video is inspiring me to stay off of them bc they have truly never brought me any joy or made me feel less lonely
Its so depressing...and Im 41 and as much as Id like to say im not in a rush, i feel it. (Even if im not looking to have kids)
i don’t want to say something annoying or unhelpful but i just want you to know that you’re lovable and worthy of love that you will find ❤ timelines are different for everyone and yours is valid too
Dating apps have given me so much trauma over the years, but I have never fallen in love with anyone I met on an app.
I HATED who I was while I used these apps.
It would get to a point where I would feel myself becoming extremely superficial and bored. Like connecting while feeling like that is almost impossible
i deleted all my dating profiles last month. for good. never going back. i had my bumble setting to casual dates and long term relationships, assuming that would attract a wide pool of people who’d want to go on dates & see if things would go anywhere from there. i don’t except someone to commit to me after one date (that would be terrifying) but you need to at least have the mentality of wanting longevity & just needing to find the right person to do that with. at least in my area, “casual dates” for straight men means FWB/situaionships and “long term” means marriage. i’m 24. grow tf up & learn how to be a normal adult who dates with intent, not just for sex. like marriage at 24 is scary. why can’t we just do fun fall things together & make each other feel special out of the kindness of our hearts 😭
I feel like for people that are actively trying to date, the apps give an illusion of control "here im really doing something to progress this goal". Leaving things up to chance hasnt been working and feeling like i want to be more active is ghe main reason i re-download the apps
i feel like i agree with everything you said in this video, however, for me, a Black plus size woman who lives ina college town of a PWI (predominantly white institution), there are little to no options for single people other than apps. i wish there were more efforts to have more events geared towards singles. idk. just a thought.
yeah i get that, it’s so tough how everything has become reliant on the apps. i have hope that in time, there will be more of a demand for in-person dating opportunities regardless of if you live in a city or not. it still feels like a relatively new thing in nyc, like the surge of speed dating or singles nights. but hopefully it just keeps moving in that direction so we can revive meet cutes once and for all lol
Honestly, I'm so sick of dating apps. It's quite exhausting when guys can't talk about anything not relating to sex. It gets boring fast
I apologize on behalf of the male community. I’ve seen how dudes try to connect with women on dating apps and it’s embarrassing to say the least 😅
Your standards are very high and your match is for pump & dump
@@chan_martin Thank you, that brings me a bit of comfort 😂
@@ceroandone Pump and dump, that's a new one 😅
Honestly, I’m such a fan of happenstance. I think that’s a big part of why the apps weren’t doing it for me
I am recently single and absolutely not in a spot where I want to date anyone for the moment. But I am obviously thinking about how to date when I am ready again and dating apps seem obvious but I also just feel uncomfortable at the thought of them. I don’t care how someone looks, I don’t really like texting, I am attracted to someone‘s character and passion and the way they talk and think and interact with me… thank you for all the food for thought and celebrating seeking true connection and intimacy
if the current modern dating pool was a restaurant i wouldn't want a single thing on the menu 💕
100% agree on this!!! I deleted the apps two yrs ago and in the past two yrs I've done the most amount of travelling, events and concerts cause I stopped wanting to be a relationship to do those things. I have recently moved country so I am whole heartedly focused on making friends in my area then trying to find love. I need my community first!!
met my boyfriend on a really small unknown dating app. The reason i downloaded it was because i was bored one weekend and i kept getting ads for it. On the app u could swipe through ppl by music taste. In my genre and city there were maybe 20 ppl. I think our love for the same music is what bound us together initially, but i also acknowledge that luck paid a huge factor. I probably wouldve never met him anywhere else because he goes even less out than me... Offline dating doesnt work for everyone. Im not a going out person so meeting my person on a night out (who probably woldnt be a going out person as well) is really unlikely.
My ultimate tip for dating apps is, if you have any hobbies or interest see if there is a weird niche app for it.
Maddie!! This video came at the perfect time for me as someone who deleted my apps 2 weeks ago after being on them for 10 YEARS (give or take the odd situationship lmao) and I don't see myself ever redownloading them. I'm so glad so many people are feeling / doing the same!!!! I also don't care if it takes me 10+ years to meet someone, I genuinely feel the most at peace when I'm alone :) DOWN WITH DATING APPS!!!
Briefly fell into a state of madness and considered rejoining a dating app today. Then I saw this. The👏🏻 timing👏🏻 was ✨fate✨. Thank you❤️
You nailed, Maddie. I agree with EVERYTHING you said. Being on dating apps brought mi nothing but frustration and disappointment. I quit them in early spring and never looked back. I'm so much happier being single and not dealing with 'emotionally impaired'
people.
Loving the hat, Mads. You mentioned in earlier videos that you feel like you can’t rock a hat, but you totally can! Really appreciate the efforts you put into your content
literally just downloaded hinge... will i delete it by the end of the video? 👀 keep up the great work, Maddie!
Same omg
so did you delete it?
I had a roommate get a dating app and swipe right to every girl to “cast a wide net”, he never ended up meeting up with any girl 😂
That’s the typical experience for guys on these garbage apps.
I met my boyfriend of 1.5 years the old fashioned way - grew up in the same circles, finally properly became friends in 2021, and started dating 2.5 years later. I never would have met him on a dating app because I’m five years older than him. Never in my life would I have considered dating someone younger than me, and it wild to me how easily we could have missed each other if I had stayed with the apps (picked them up briefly after a failed 2 year relationship but never went anywhere with them). Although I have friends who have found success on dating apps, I really think in person is the best way to go ♥️
I matched with a guy who said he had a college degree and then when I asked him when he graduated, he said he dropped out… HELL NAH
I was on the apps for six years before meeting my partner. We got lucky to find each other on an app. Prior to that, I experienced all kinds of bullshit from guys who could just not be clear about what they actually wanted. It also frustrated me just how many people were on there in ENM relationships and there was no way to filter them out. It was exhausting.
I go for about a year or two at a time not using apps and I just downloaded tinder again a few months ago while I was abroad to meet people. Met a guy who I went on a few dates with and hooked up too I’ll be honest, after getting back to my home country he tells me he has a whole wife and two kids 😭 thankfully I’m in therapy because these apps and the people on them are toxic! Now I’m trying to focus on myself instead of seeking outside validation
video so good it made me delete all my dating apps
you speak about this topic so well. i wish i could attach a tv to my head and have this video on repeat so every single person looking for genuine connection sees this message and gets on board 😩
President Dragsback, this video is everything I needed to hear right now. I’ve been having these exact conversations with my friends and your input and perspective is so validating to hear. Next time I’m having a bad day and think about redownloading an app only to start another spiral, I’m going to rewatch this instead.
guys on the apps are so much more rude and insecure, it's unbelievable. the interactions and constant frustration was why i left and never went back. best case scenario you match with a good guy, start talking, and then just keep talking.
day.... after day.
they never actually ask you out, they just keep messaging you on the app. after day 3 of this i stop responding. get my number and let's get off this godforsaken app!!!!
as a guy this is fascinating to me, i can’t imagine being rude because for me it’s a good week if i got 1 match (i’m no longer on the apps thank god). while women have the volume issue in 1 direction, men have it in the other, so being an asshole just feels so counterproductive
This video is bursting with creative energy ⭐️ you are glowing Maddie ✨
I’m so happy I’ve come across your channel, you give the best older sister vibes. Deleted hinge FOR GOOD after watching!!
watching this after a breakup and i'm so glad you made this. the idea of getting back on dating apps when i'm ready to date again has been so daunting and i've been coming to terms with the idea that i don't have to go back on them, and this video solidified that thought. if i have another deep connection with someone, i want it to be authentic in the way you described. ive been trying to enrich my life outside of social media and when i'm ready for dating again i'll definitely be bearing this in mind. really appreciate this video!
it's like you dived deep into my brain and perfectly articulated everything I've always felt about dating apps
I was chronically on the apps and called it "aggressive dating" in the name of prioritising dating. Finally it took one last "situationship" (because that's all they ever were) that turned me off them SO hard that even the thought of downloading the app makes me feel ILL. Legitimately it's switched my brain from scarcity-mode to abundance-mode and I'm not worried about finding connections or lack there of. What's meant for me will happen and that's actually exciting?
Okay but like everything yousaid from 22:06-23:30 was EVERYTHINGGGG I always tell my friends & family. Especially since I just turned 30 years old & don´t have a ``need´´ to date, meet someone or have sex with someone. Like....if it happens & I met my forver person great, wonderful. But, I´´[m perfectly content with who, where & who I am. Dang, ALL that I learned about myself in my mid to late 20´s was soul searching. Much love always from Brasil.
In exactly the same boat as you. Just turned 30 ❤
Same here. Turned 30 this summer and I finally feel at peace with myself. I’d love to meet a great person and get married, but I no longer feel like it has to happen for me to be happy. That weird pressure I felt in my mid twenties is gone now.
@@becca53444 We’re really all out here living the same life huh 🤣🫶😂🙌😌🙏 In exactly the same boat. I really don’t care if I meet someone now, it’s actually not as important as I thought it was for the longest time. I’m enjoying my solo life so much in the present. All that pressure that existed during my 20s ALL GONE…JUST LIKE THAT ❤️🥳 This means I’m only dating or entertaining men on my terms now, not anybody else’s. My choice whether to engage or not.
I really appreciate in this video how you consistently referred to your dates as “people’ and not a specific gender. Its honestly encouraging to see a creator like you not making the dating app issue a gendered one. A lot different people on those apps were on demon time😂
I quit dating apps for nearly 2 yrs and don’t miss it one bit. It felt like a huge waste of time. As a fellow New Yorker, I don’t have much free time. I felt sick of wasting a Friday night on a crappy date with some douche who treated me like a sex object. There are much better ways to spend time than being glued to your phone & having conversations with strangers that most likely won’t go anywhere.
Unlike you, I haven’t noticed a decline in dating app usage amongst my peers, however.. but it’s mostly my lonely straight male friends who use the apps. Quite a few of my friends exclusively meet ppl through the apps bc it’s more convenient for them. I’d rather be single and productive with how I spend my time until I find the right connection irl.
the way i just downloaded one of these apps for the first time in my life recently and i am already miserable 😭 but I've never been on a date in my life so I felt like it was my only option at this point. but it's not worth being miserable and feeling like I'm putting out more energy than the people that just like a picture of me. (especially the men who like my profile and we CLEARLY have opposite life goals??? do they refuse to READ)
anyway ... I'm going to a local munch for the first time at a restaurant I already love, and I'm WAY more excited about that
It’s frustrating because my parents didn’t allow me to date or socialize much in college or grad school! It only after moving out at 25 that I could even start dating, which is when I started dating apps. Haven’t had success on them. Now at almost 29, my parents are freaking out about me dying alone 😅
They should have thought about that sooner 😂 when did they meet?
Exactly my situation too! I’m just like do I want to date? I kinda like being single too lol. I believe I will find my person when it’s time.
maddie you, your insights and your content have actually and truly changed my life for the better and i just want to say thank you for continuing to post, even when times are hard
Our Queen, Maddie, the genius in every split second of this video was absolutely mind-blowing!! My gosh, you are sensational!!! 😍👏👏😍 This deserves an actual award in itself, beautiful. Soo many of us lover girlies absolutely living for and loving you and your content, oh my gosh! xx
I’m dying at the beginning 😭😭 THIS CAME EXACTLY WHEN I NEEDED IT
you're a genius. this intro is major slay
Me and my bf met on "Facebook dating" and have been together now almost 3 years. We both were kind of "casually dating" but ended up really being so great for each other. We had similar goals and morals and really liked each other from the start. It wasn't a perfect start with both of us kind of being scared and playing a little hard to get but in the end we worked through that quickly and became exclusive a few weeks into seeing each other.
I'm loving the intro. 😭 You just continue to produce the most high quality content. This video could also not have more perfect timing in my life as I have recently sworn off dating apps and decided to turn my focus inwards. Speaking the truth for real ✨
Me, never having been on dating apps in my life: mhm, yes, so true, they're SO exhausting! 😂
But in all seriousness, I like your takes amd you pretty much summarised all that can be observed when it comes to dating via an app. I love that you mentioned that swiping through hundreds of faces and profiles to categorize people as "hot or not" is a bit of a crazy concept
The apps are just a medium connecting people trying to do a thing. The problem is the people (the men)(yes I realize I’m biased, but I said what I said) and the thing (this elusive concept of “dating” with no cohesive agenda) is fckd.
i agree that men are the main issue, but i don’t think dating apps are entirely off the hook either. they create a culture of dehumanization (men are already prone to dehumanizing women and dating apps actively encourage it). they also do absolutely nothing to protect their users, no background checks are required which leads to a lot of dangerous and married men on these apps.
this video couldn't have come at a better time! THANK YOU
I am so with you on this one! I'm on a similar journey and it was really nice to hear someone talk about this topic like this. Thank you for a lovely chat Maddie💜
more of these sketches pls I was cackling the entire time
this was so real. almost too real... but also honestly eye opening so thank you maddie 🙌🏾
Ahh this is too good! I need to rewatch this every time I get the urge to redownload dating apps. You summarize everything I have been feeling so perfectly
i took 6 months off of dating in 2022 because of you and i cannot explain how it changed my life. the only downside ! is that now i actually understand my emotional maturity and um . yeah most do not :( doesn’t matter though because truly the intentional no dating time reshaped my relationship w myself and there’s nothing more important. never felt more fulfilled than when i have myself. thank u maddie ur incredible
Maddie this video spoke to me so much!! I am also a 27 year old gal who has given up on the dating apps, and I loved the way you framed wanting to be happy in the time before you happen to meet someone 10 years from now, as I feel like that's the thing I've been working on the most the last 6 months or so! And I think it's definitely hard to do that while also waiting genuine companionship/feeling ready to be in a relationship, but there is also is a lot of joy in being single and living your little romantic single life!!
Your view on love and relationships is so sweet and I love how you are unabashedly yourself and know what you want. I was single for many years in my twenties and thirties and I, like you, found great meaning and joy in solitary time and in romanticizing myself and my single life. I also found dating apps to sometimes be overwhelming and emotionally draining as a woman. I wonder though if applying some of your open heartedness and curiosity to apps might give surprising results. People, especially men, are sometimes not as clear on their vision for love and wounds and defenses can get in the way, even though true love is under there, waiting. It's sometimes worth it to be patient and try. I met my partner on dating apps and it was a slow process that led to love. I also met really interesting people and had stimulating conversations while dating through apps! I do understand and advocate for taking time to care for your mental health off dating apps if it makes you feel disconnected from yourself. Dating apps are just an added tool to finding love!
I appreciate your kind and thoughtful comment :) I think that is how I approached the apps while I was on them hahaha! I was direct, vulnerable, open-minded, and really have just always led with my heart, not letting rejection or lack of compatibility get me down for long. Though I had some positive experiences through the apps, for me the few strokes of luck didn’t outweigh the massive negatives. For a while, I actually had a similar take- that it was just another way to meet people and the app itself was a somewhat neutral space. But I think over time my opinion shifted seeing how little the app companies did to protect their users from people using the app to degrade, disrespect, and lie- all while continuing to market them in a way that didn't actually reflect the reality of what using them is like. I think sometimes, for people that have met long-term partners on the apps, you might see them differently than people that haven't had the same luck- people that could've behaved in the same exact way that you did but still had different results. I always left my dates feeling proud of how I showed up and feeling aligned in myself and my wants- it was finding someone that totally matched how I was able to show up that was hard whether they were good people that couldn't commit or bad people who over-sexualized me as a plus-size woman. Even the good ones made me feel shitty sometimes, the repetitive nature of the apps, particularly in a place like NYC which feels like it's become known for commitmentphobes at this point, can feel particularly exhausting when you're showing up ready and vulnerable and other people just can't emotionally get there and match what you bring to the table (And if I am being totally honest with myself, I think I have a track record of sticking around for too long, remaining patient and hopeful that someone can grow into their readiness in time *sigh*). Anyways, all of that to say, the negatives just outweighed the positives for me and ultimately, my opinion has been largely swayed by how these companies have chosen to ignore the flaws in their algorithms and assist the dangerous people on their apps in pursuit of more money and more ways to keep people on their platforms for longer. I'm so happy for people that have had different experiences on the apps (truly hahaha thank god some people have been spared from the absurdity) but for me, I think I'm at the end of my rope in terms of my understanding for these platforms hahaha but who knows, my opinion could change again in the future! I just wish the apps would take a more aggressive stance on the behaviors that make their platforms miserable for some.
I love this video, but I do wonder to what extent these issues are specific to *dating men* on dating apps, not just the apps themselves. While dating women on apps can also be a wild time, I (and other friends who date women) do seem to avoid a lot of the more egregious lying and emotional incompetence that you're describing.
Yeah I resonate with that feeling! I do relate to my straight and bi female friends on some of the issues they have with the apps, but my actual interactions with women are generally lovely, especially with the ones who I get to meet irl. Even if there's no romantic spark, usually me and another queer woman my age will get along pretty well and have a good time on a date. And typically these women are very open to discussing what they're looking for on the apps and what they hope for in a future relationship.
@@siiri8902 This is interesting. A lot of queer women have said (from my time on reddit lol) that they can’t get past the texting stage. Although i’m uncomfortable with the fact that with apps you’re truly just going off of looks and you’re putting yourself in a market (it’s giving having to sell yourself) , your experience is making me curious. Perhaps I will just try it out and see for myself.
while my interactions and experiences with non men on apps are more pleasant and less traumatic than my interactions and experiences with men, i will say i have been equally let down and just wanting to give up dating apps and dating from all genders on the apps like the amount of time i have wasted texting people and setting up first dates just to immediately know that i wasn't attracted to them when we actually met in person
Thank you for giving us so many videos, mother
The sassy “hello??” and nose scrunch at 12:22 cured my limerence LOL
honestly i love my singlehood. haven't been on dating apps for over 2-3 years now. does it mean my cancer sun PLUS venus in gemini ever leaves me alone?? never. i have too many crushes, and did have my heart broken at least twice in the past 2 years. but that's life lifing in a good way. i'm not in a hurry to find "the one" -- maybe i'll never find that person and lowkey?? i'm kinda okay with that. i love my solitude; i'll try to cherish and honour it at all costs. i love my family and friends, and i feel deeply loved by them as well. sooo. what's a dating app? i don't know her hshsj 😋 i DO worry that i might be getting too delulu for anime crushes though lmao
crushes are the spice of life!!!! FULLY in support of crushes!!!!
you perfectly described how i feel! i’m not gonna completely shut myself off to the potential of a relationship, but i also know that finding “the one” may never happen for me. it doesn’t for a lot of people, and that’s ok. we can still have fulfilling and beautiful lives without a romantic relationship
Love this!!! The way you were talking especially at the 22min mark is sooo my inner dialogue
girl i love and appreciate you so much thank you for having a platform and sharing so authentically
I’m currently on 3 dating apps in an effort to improve my odds so this video spoke to me on so many levels lol 😅
What ones are those lol? I’m currently on bumble and hinge. But at the end of the week will prob delete them
I once had 6 dating apps at once. I’m still single 😂
I definitely agree with not having casual pick-up. I almost caved but thankfully things happened and I took it as a sign. I said that I don't want to do anything unless I know we're going to be dating exclusively. Although learning that 1/10 are cheaters is making me really think about how to possibly stop a cheater from talking to me.
maddie serving CINEMA with that intro 🤭🤭
This video is so validating, and I'm so glad dating apps are dying. I used them for the first time in quarantine, and they were awful for my mental health. I didn't even meet any assholes, the ways the apps worked just made me feel like shit, and made it very apparent that I needed therapy.
I used one for the last time in mid 2022 for a month and have never gone back.
Amusingly in early 2023 I accidentally met a guy I really connected with on Discord of all places (I kind of hate discord and never made a friend on there previously because as we all know 95% of discord is whack)
We're taking it slow, I'm in therapy, and I feel much freer from societies expectations. Besides dating apps I also feel like in many ways the internet is becoming a smaller part of my life as a whole, and seemingly a smaller part of everyone else's lives as well, which is a relief. I feel like we're all waking up from dormancy.
the eulogy was a 10/10
I was just thinking of what to do and then the notification!! Such perfect timing 💗 definitely will enjoy and relate in some ways.👁️👁️I've never used dating apps..
this video dropping on the same day I deleted all the apps FOR GOOD is what I like to consider a canon event
lysm !!
Me taking myself to see Coraline in theaters after you mentioned dating yourself.
I thoroughly enjoyed that intro! 😁 Great acting skills
I met my spouse on the apps and truly, it was just wild luck. The apps are a hellscape and the only thing I credit them with is getting me in the same room as someone I never would have met otherwise. Pure dumb luck that we were both fucking around on the apps at the same time
The amount of nasty freaky messages I get from men. No respect
Dating apps had their time and now that I am 39, I just don't care about it. I used it in my early 30's and found some dudes here and there and only one seemed memorable but was never sure about long term. Ironically, my "dating app" happens to be online gaming where I met two bf's there and now were just good friends instead cause the dating thing didn't work out. At this point, I am pretty happy and prefer just to make friends and connections and if a special someone comes along then great but I don't think I need to devote anymore effort to date people through these weird apps.
Obsessed with this!! As newly single gal who doesn't really fancy the apps this video gave me lots of food for thought hehe xxx
Ive recently gone through a breakup and redownloaded the apps, and I have a date saturday and talking to a few people but... I just dont know how else to meet people, especially when a lot of these things cost money to go do, like its hard to go to hobby class regularly or nights at bars. I work from home too so it just feels like the only option to meet someone sometimes, even friends, but I do want to try to do other things on top of the app
Rest in pieces, Tinder 🤢
I admire how your advertisements are always relevant
42 female, been single my whole life. Have not met one suitable man on dating apps, but keep going back for like a week once a year 😂
I have no idea how else to meet anyone!
You’re the absolute prettiest woman ❤❤❤ love your videos
i love the opening! so funny and creative