MY BIGGEST STRUGGLES BEING ZERO WASTE
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- Опубліковано 10 чер 2024
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My biggest struggle with being "zero waste" is that both me and my husband have hoarding tendencies. So I have to be extra aware of when I'm keeping something if it is for the right reasons. Is really easy to say to yourself that you are doing this for the planet, but then you end up with your house full of boxes, glasses and plastic bags.
I think my biggest struggle atm at least is combining health with zero waste. Treating skin conditions for example requires trying out multiple options, most packaged in plastic and some tested on animals.. And not treating an illness is not an option so im trying to just accept it and do everything I can in other aspects of my life 😅
You definitely need to prioritize your health. Don't feel guilty about it, just do what you can in the areas that you can.
I feel this. My health impacts how much zero waste I can do. For context I have Crohn’s and there’s no way I can drive an hour to the bulk store and an hour back without issues.
I certainly understand how complex chronic illnesses affect our ability to limit the waste produced. The one thing that I have been successful at has been using good quality plastic gallon size jugs that I refill with water at the water dispenser that charges a quarter per gallon. The jugs I use are from Arizona tea, Motts apple juice and various Juicy Juice. Another thing that I have taken strides to stick with is using powdered Gatorade to mix my own Gatorade. I get the Gatorade powder from Amazon. Due to having dysautonomia (a condition where if it's controlled by the brainstem then it's likely fucked up) my neurologist wants me to be drinking fluids that contain electrolytes.
However, the amount of plastic waste that is created because of having, using and caring for a port, having to run intravenous medications (IVIG, D5W, saline liters, saline flushes and heparin lock flushes), having insulin dependent diabetes (I have to inject insulin and test my blood sugar multiple times a day) and many other conditions that require oral medication is absolutely ASTRONOMICAL. And the downside is that none of the plastic waste is able to be recycled because it falls under one of the following- been in contact with a blood path or blood itself and has become a biohazard waste, is a multiple material container so isn't accepted or simply isn't a material that is accepted by the recycling center.
Eta- I'm also allergic (anaphylaxis type reactions) to many plant sources for protein or milk along with many fruits and vegetables. So, unless I want to starve, my only option left is to consume animal sourced foods. It sucks because I have so few options for non animal sourced food. And of course my health insurance won't pay out for food replacement liquids such as Elecare, neocate, Kate farm's or similar elemental feed options even though I'm not able to tolerate vitamin/mineral supplement tablets or consume the required foods that contain the vitamins and minerals (allergies to fillers in tablets/liquids/powders and allergies to foods).
I couldn’t agree more with this. During the pandemic I obsessed over having a plastic free skincare regimen, but at the same time, *foolishly* ignored the acne that was a new issue due to wearing masks all day everyday. By ignoring it, I now have acne scarring that was never there before and am now in need of laser treatments, which are extremely expensive, to fix it. Skincare is skin HEALTH. If it comes in plastic, but treats a medical condition, don’t feel bad and don’t apologize.
Yes! I’m trying to deal with some health and genetics issues that require supplements and dietary additives that are packaged in plastic
You make many good points. Here in Berlin, the zero waste stores and also the organic farmers' markets are often more expensive than other shops, so I have friends who would like to avoid plastic but can't really afford to shop there. So it is an important point to talk about other ways of avoiding waste!
Thanks for this video, I have the bad habit of being a perfectionist but my boyfriend has been gently challenging my mindsetZ. His favourite phrase is ‘don’t let perfect be the enemy of good’. For years I said I was really interested by period cups but for me the idea of changing them in public was just an absolute no-go, but my boyfriend said ‘even if you use one on weekends and evenings, isn’t that better in the long run?’. I’d never thought about it like that, it was a total revelation and it ended up being the perfect all-round solution for me.
Period cups can be used for a really long time before they need to be changed -I have never had to change /empty mine during the day, just morning and evening.
I recently was trying to lump all my errands into one trip out (to save gas)! I'd brought a snack and a bottle of water from home but left them in my car when I went into the grocery store. I had a low blood sugar incident and neatly fainted. I grabbed an energy drink and a large chocolate bar from the shelves and plopped down on a food conveyer dolly and assured the concerned crowd swirling around me I'd be fine soon (and would pay for the items I'd grabbed). In a few minutes I felt well enough to go through checkout and drive home. Instead of thinking about ways to prevent a health incident like this again, I began focusing on how I'd messed up by NOT being able to complete all my errands on this trip out and by buying those emergency snacks in a plastic bottle and foil wrapper! I realized how silly I was being! I live a very low waste lifestyle out in a rural setting and seldom have more than a very small bag of weekly trash.. Self forgiveness is important. Oh, i later realized I was getting a sinus infection that day and was probably dehydrated as well. 😘
I definitely struggle with guilt. As a neurodivergent person living with a spouse on the spectrum, we end up choosing convenience frequently because creating a little bit of waste is better than not eating. Prioritizing our mental health can be difficult sometimes!
As a newby to zero waste and also not especially well off financially, I struggle to balance my zero waste ideals with my budget. So, often I try to make my own products to save money. Then the issue becomes time and I sometimes feel tempted to just buy something non-eco rather than do it myself. I try not to be too hard on myself though. ☺️
Girl, I love this video and I think we need more “zero-wasters” doing this type of content! I’m a new content creator, and have already gotten negative comments about my imperfections. I’m like yeah, I’m not perfect, don’t pretend to be, and am trying to show the REALITY of how I live this lifestyle. I so appreciate you because you are real and have never been preachy nor pushy with your lifestyle. You don’t shame people for doing zero waste “wrong”, for not being vegan, etc. Making others feel bad about their slip ups or imperfections are just going to turn them off to the lifestyle all together, which defeats the purpose. You are just what we need! We all need to be OK with the fact that we are only human and far from perfect.
Just followed you BECAUSE of this honesty😁. It's about doing better where we can, and it's different for everyone
@@melusine826 it sure is! Thank you
I love your videos. You don’t “commercialize” or “romanticize” zero waste. You are realistic and pragmatic so that people like me who sometimes struggle to maintain a zero waste or reduced waste life style can feel that it is possible without it being perfect all the time. You are so right in saying that not everyone has the same access to opportunities to purchase items in the least packaging possible. I believe that many movements like zero waste are an all or nothing religion almost, and if you aren’t able to achieve the perfection seen on social media, you are a failure and should just give up. I am not a vegan, but i do eat primarily a vegetarian and vegan diet and try to reduce my consumption of animal products, I try to reduce my consumption of commercial products by only buying items when i need to replace a worn out item by buying second hand. I think that we are all too hard on ourselves when we are trying to do better and not giving ourselves the credit for the effort. Every little bit helps and developing the habits slowly and gradually ensures that i am more likely to stick to that habit then to have an all or nothing approach. After that long ramble, i just want to reiterate that i love your videos, your sense of humour and your knowledge make your content extremely enjoyable and easy to watch, i don’t feel preached to, but rather encouraged and welcomed to the community of people who are trying to do better for the planet and for all of us. Cheers from Canada
Being sustainable is amazing as long as it sustainable for me. I learned / realized that a while ago.
I love that you don't have taboos and you keep talking about very fragile and sensitive topics. Very eye-opening for and reinforcing.
I am happy that you liked the video ☺️
Oh man, I find this so relatable! Sometimes I find myself constantly feeling like a failure at zero waste and, therefore, a bad person. I’m still working on finding peace with where I’m at.
I grew up as a kid in the 60s and 70s and my mom was a zero waster and I didn’t even know it! As a young adult all I wanted was new things because I grew up with everything secondhand including my clothes. All our furniture and household items were always bought secondhand. Everything was reused. I have now reverted back to the way I grew up and I just do the best that I can. Not perfect but definitely an improvement! Thank you so much for all of your inspiration. Your videos were a great comfort to me all through Covid🥰
Thank you for sharing this, and that nobody is perfectly zero waste. The thing I struggle with is that living zero waste costs me much energy and time. I have autism and that means I have little energy. So going to several different shops to buy things package free costs me a lot of energy, whereas ordering my groceries online at one shop saves me lots of energy. I need all the energy I can get to actually function. In spite of that, I do what I can. I buy many things in the thrift store, I use soap and shampoo bars, I reuse plastic bags, and I repair my clothes and wear them until they fall apart. :)
My fav line: honey. . . They don’t exist 😂
Definitely can relate to all that you talked about. Thank you for being realistic-that healthy approach will create the sustainability in sustainability 💜
I remebered your plastic bag story this week when a friend who is a teacher told me what happened at their school. So the school decided to be zero waste. Not low waste. Zero. And they forbid the lunches for a school trip to be ordered because the sendwiches were wrapped in plastic. So they ordered bread and the teachers had to tell the kids (these are 7yro) to BRING a plastic bag and then in the morning the teacher wrapped the bread. If that is not stupidity at it's finest! Ofcourse some kids didn't have a bag so the teachers had to bring them. I am sorry this is helping the world how? I told her about your chanel and hidden waste and she will try to educate the principal.
Wow. First time I've heard of a school going zero waste. In which country is this?
Thats not zero waste,thats passing responsability onto someone else. Lunchboxes are mainly plastic but most people already have one,so why not continue using it?
I was lucky with my low waste journey, as I had found a couple of channels - yours included - an learnt by others mistakes. Took a 2 positive changes a week for a year approach. Never tried to be Zero waste as it is unrealistic, but managed to embed new habits and change my footprint in a slower sustainable manner.
I love what you said. When I started my journey I bought a lot of zero waste gadgets or items without really understanding that using up everything that I already had or using what is available around me was actually the zero waste swap… let’s keep emphasizing that low waste and sustainability looks different for everyone!! Love your content and energy! 💛
I started working in package technology research. Learned a lot especially concerning accessability to marginalised groups. And we need to do the best we can until the system of dealing with waste gets better. Good video!
I bought my kids lunchables this week which are plastic junk food because they were $1 and the kids love them and I didn’t want to have to make picnic lunches from scratch on my day off which they kids don’t enjoy as much as lunchables! We are “zero-waste” and most days they get bento boxes filled with perfection, but being human and needing a day off happens to everyone!
Thanks for bringing up accessibility issues (when you don't live near an eco store or can't afford certain products) and the problems with hyperfocusing. Very relatable!
I was frugal before I was low waste. During this time in the world where food costs have gone up. That sack of potatoes is cheaper than buying them single. One of the things I've been focusing on is making sure I don't throw away any food. That can be a struggle in itself. I've been making a list of all the food I have in the pantry and freezer. Also looking in my fridge for what needs to be eaten. I had some expired bulgur wheat that I cooked for a meal. There was still a lot of it left over that I opened a can of pinto beans and made bean patties. Ya that jar nearly made me go crazy. I now think how I can do better,and shit happens. And that's ok. Thanks for your video.
Thanks for talking about this,I think it's such an important topic because so many of us feel the guilt because we care about the planet. Everything I go on a downward spiral of feeling the guilt my husband always says, just look at how much you have change and doing better than most people, you shouldn't feel guilty when you have accomplished so much. 'We need millions of people who do Zero waste living imperfect than a few who do it perfect' that will make the biggest impact.
I've been on a little binge since I'm new to this channel but I love the discussion in this video Gittemary ! Thank you for raising these important points. Especially about how a lot of these practices originated out of need/ poverty and have simply been rebranded.
Also forgiving yourself when you slip up & then tell yourself to get back on track. I think that's the moral of the story here - do the best YOU can
I definitely want a better term than Zero Waste ™️
About accessibility: in Italy we are very very lucky because there are farms (also organic) that sell products with no packaging. Even if you love in a small village you can have the access, or you can go to the market at least :)
16:00 My favourite and such a truthful part. Love your sassy side Gitte 😁❤
I love these types of videos from you! I feel very seen and validated. This perfectionism is one big reason I deleted Instagram- my life doesn’t look perfect and it never will. So it’s really unhealthy for me to constantly see people whose lives look perfect. Logically I know that they aren’t perfect, but emotionally I still compare and then feel bad about myself. Instead, I’m trying to feel good about the sustainable choices I make and not beat myself up for the unsustainable choices, especially because making the sustainable choice often means, as an individual, pushing up against a huge capitalistic system.
Hyperfixation was definitely something I struggled with as well when I first started lowering my waste, and I really appreciate this video
It's so strange for me to hear that zero waste has been rebranded to be only achievable by wealthy folks. I spent this whole time not understanding when people get the idea that they don't have the money or access to partake and I finally realized why. I come from being raised in and seeing people with less resources living lower waste lifestyles simply because that's how we're raised or because that's the level of access we have. The cheapest markets selling everything zero waste and the wealthier ones selling things in packaging. This is in Colombia. Unfortunately, most people don't value it out there. And as soon as someone comes to the U.S. or make much more money, they quickly adapt to a high waste and consumerist lifestyle. Everything is set up differently depending on where we live, but unfortunately, the world is being very influenced by high consumerist culture.
Thank you for this video! I can really really relate to some of these struggles as I embark on my zero waste journey more and more since I've started my own household a year ago. The biggest concern for me are bulk stores. While I have a farmer's market that is right around the corner and also affordable (it's a blessing!), I'm still looking for a good bulk store. Even though I live in a big city now, buying in a bulk store is actually much more expensive than buying them from a grocery store, which is pretty frustrating. I'm just hoping I find a good one soon! Anyways, thank you so much for sharing these problems you've encountered and being so understanding of how not everybody has the same opportunities to be zero waste. "It's better if more people do it imperfectly than if just a few people do it absolutely perfectly". That line really always sticks with me and encourages me to keep trying even though I second guess myself so often. Love your content and your channel, thanks for doing this, you're a blessing!
I feel guilty about using toiletries that come in plastic 😔😔😔, I have tried bar shampoos and I am yet to find one that my very sensitive scalp tolerates. I break out in a rash, it's itchy and I end up scratching my head so much that I end up with sores 😬. I use a soap bar for my skin or I use bulk store liquid soap. I am going to prioritize the health of my skin over not buying a plastic shampoo bottle. Not perfect, but definitely much healthier.
I have the opposite problem! My hair can take a shampoo and conditioner bar but my body ugh. I have to use very specific pharmacy body cream and it took 22 years of life to find a cream that doesn't irritate my skin and breaks me out in rashes. Now that I have found THE ONE, I'm scared to take the chance to swap to something more sustainable
@@marrykozakura9352 if you have found something that keeps your skin healthy, stick with it. I think that we underestimate the importance of our skin and it's health. I am sure that you do plenty of other things that are zero or low waste 🙂. I just get my husband to use up the bar shampoos that haven't worked for me 😉, so that I don't waste it.
Im with you! About half the year I can use a shampoo bar but the other half I need zinc dandruff shampoo and it only comes in bottles! But, it is what it is!
Sure pointless to use zero waste options if they hurt you! When you have sensitive scalp skin, you might try to gradually lessen the amount of shampoo and wash your hair less often. In fact we destroy the natural protection when we use soap on our skin/hair too often, which makes it even more sensitive.
@@cvdheiden1 I have tried that, it makes it worse 😔😔😔😔. I don't wash my hair every day, about every 3-4 day, but if I sweat or I'm in water I need to wash my hair and dry it. But you are right about striping away our natural oils from over washing. I also don't use lots of products on my hair or my body.
I loved this video. It’s how I’ve been feeling about life in general. Not just my attempts with zero waste, but everything; being a mother, being a wife, employee… human… ect. We are all just here, trying to get through and enjoy the ride without messing it up for everyone else.
Thank you for encouraging me to keep trying - each effort helps. I was definitely feeling like I wasn't doing 'enough' because I was comparing my efforts to others.
Wow, so great that you are talking about it😊 always love to watch your videos, it feels like having a nice conversation with a friend 🙏😍
Thanks for this very valuable and thoughtful video. I have been zero waste for 5 years and I have gone through the exact same things as you. I think we need to focus on reducing our waste, consumption and usage of plastics. Of course, like you, the climate crisis is my current focus. We need to move to renewable energy as quickly as we can to save our planet 🌎. Thanks for your amazing work and inspiring others! Hugs from Montreal ❤❤❤
I explain zw as if it was martial arts like jujitsu. There are different levels of zw and if you want to _identify_ as a zerowaister, by all means do so. you may just be the yellow belt, or the orange or blue or green. Brown and black belters - the laurensingers and beajohnsons - don’t sustain any dojo and the same applies to zw.
Nice analogy. Also, it is not a competition. Over time, you might want to go a level further, but you decide for yourself, not to compete/compare with others.
Thank you so much for this video (and all of your channel while we're at it xD). Eco-anxiety can be a real pain in the a** and makes us panic, and rethink everything... Thank you for reminding us that we're only humans after all, trying their best. Take care, dear Gittemary.
I really appreciate you taking the time to hit all of the points in this video & sharing your personal feelings & struggles with the lifestyle.
I love your honesty 👏👏👏👏. I was born in Portugal and lived there until I was almost 9, every town, village and city has a market at least one day of the week. It's where people would traditionally go to buy meat, fish, cured meats, cheese and fruit and vegetables. As well as everything else you can think of. I moved back to Portugal 3 years ago and the markets are still around 😊👍. I also am lucky to have a bulk store that is not far from me, there are weird old laws where some things are not allowed to be sold in bulk, like regular rice, wheat flour and sugar 🤷. But you can buy a lot of nuts, fruit and vegetables as well as other dry pantry staples. I buy all of my cleaning supplies from them and I love their nut butter machine 😍😍😍😍😍
Ana, can you tell me the name of the bulk store in Portugal? I live in Lisbon and shop usually at Sapato Verde or Gaia and I've never seen or heard of the nut butter machine :O Thanks!
@@VeronicaBanache I live in Porto, the store is Maçaroca. It's really great, they usually change the nuts every week so you get different varieties.
I really enjoyed this video!
I have been Vegan and living as sustainable /low waste as possible for 8 years now. I tend to put myself under a lot of pressure when it comes to plastic package as well. I browse the reduced veggies/fruits section first always in supermarkets and that is often wrapped in plastic, but reduced so it would not go into landfill in the evening (sometimes it would be picked up by Olio Foodsharing Heros here in the UK). But I would not buy a single package when wrapped in plastic, or 3 onions in these mesh bags, when I can get those unwrapped. Whenever I am in town I avoid getting a coffee or so because I don't always carry my bamboo take away cup with me, then I curse myself for having a coffee somewhere. I also don't order take away food when I am at home and don't wanna cook much, because I want to avoid the waste it comes with, prefer to eat out in restaurants anyway. I would love to buy organic veggies and fruits only, but I cannot afford it. Was in a zero waste store the other day and they charged almost £5 for 1kg of organic basmati rice, I eat lots of rice, sooo that was a no go and I had to buy the rice in a supermarket, wrapped in plastic ..... It is sooo not easy. I also prefer not to have any plastic bags at home, or would feel guilty walking around town with one, even though you could see that it's been well used.
Really good video. Thank you.
thx for keeping things real!
Very well articulated! Thank you 🙏 ✨
Hi beautiful Gittemary and thanks for sharing this video. Yes, it's certainly definitely difficult to be zero waste especially with the cost of everything increasing it's not always practical. Love 🥰 the video and love 💕Gittemary.
Tusen takk for at du deler ❤️❤️
Thank you for talking about this! Progress not perfection ❤️
Excellent video, Gittemary! It's very helpful to know that we are not struggling alone, and that there are challenges for everyone, no matter your situation. We do the best we can in any given moment, and that's okay...actually, that's the only thing that is perfect - doing our best. Yes? 😊
BTW, I just read your book and I think it is really great! So much excellent information in a nicely readable format, interspersed with your very cool humour. Love it! ♥
Well said!!
Things that always irritate me about wellness and zero waste articles and videos is they say "go to the farmers market, go on walks everyday, get sunlight when you wake up to set you day right, etc." That doesn't work in winter for everyone.
Thank you!
Gosh you touched so many points which I struggle with myself! I came back from Costa Rica where I was so proud of myself and my husband for having bought a VERY EXPENSIVE water filter (which we will be reusing for all of our trips) and having drunk only tap water during the whole trip but then I had a massive argument at a birthday party because I wanted to use ceramic plates which I was even happy to wash all myself but someone else complained and they used all those single use plastic plates, so I was the only one with ceramic plate. It really ruined the party for me and I couldn't enjoy myself at all the whole evening as I was just fixated on the amount of plastic produced, the glitters and the plastic confetti which were on the floor everywhere and all microplastic that would be crated by these things; the bin full of stuff like glass bottles etc which was not going to get recycled. I really hated the whole thing and I just completely estranged myself from the party and I told myself I won't go anymore to a party in the future unless the host agrees to be eco-friendly in advance. I am aware I'm becoming very extreme on my expectations but I'm not sure how to be different as I can't let it go... it really frustrates me this unnecessary waste
Thank you for bringing up the accessibility issue. I live in a country where there is no recycling available for any material and everything comes in plastic. Our government/systems doesn't give a shit about the betterment of the citizen's lives. It honestly is a mockery of democracy. So there's no chance that recycling will be available to us in the coming years. Funnily enough, we were the first country to "ban" single-use plastics, but there's absolutely zero implementation of this law.
Even then, I sometimes beat myself over the fact that I have to use so much unnecessary plastic but I'm trying to be kinder to myself because I know I am trying my best most of the time.
I'm looking forward to you contributions to the imperfect space.
Hello Gittemary, I've been watching your videos for a few short months now because I'm also just at the beginning of my Zero Waste life. Currently I feel similar as described in some of your points: I try as much as possible to do without plastic packaging, sometimes it does not always work. Now I got two new roommates this weekend and although they knew my attitude, they brought sooo many useless things, cling film, tetra packs, PET water bottles, etc.. I feel very disappointed right now and don't know how to deal with it yet. Your video I found totally good to that it takes longer time until you know how to do what and what not in Zero Waste Lifestyle.
I think gittemary talked about this in a video before, but we can't beat ourselves up because other people (friends, family) don't understand or don't participate on our efforts to be zero waste.
I agree that it is really annoying, but we can't change people's minds by force. We can only lead by example, and some people sometimes get curious and come to ask about it.
@@KarolYuuki Yes, thats unfortunately true. I think, i will wait a short time and then i try to show them, how i manage to do waste reduce. I hope this will help, me and them too. But if not, i will try not get upset about this.
I don’t think perfection is possible but we should try and do what we can.
Yes, echo anxiety is a real thing. It can bring on paralysis.
So is wondering why I bother when there is war. What a waste of everything. A waste of human life, plant life, and animal life. Soils are even degraded to the point that they may be poisoned and unusable for generations.
For today, I congratulate myself for repurposing an old glass taper holder into the ideal water bottle dryer. It so works.
; )
I think it's important to not put too much pressure on ourselves because if we do so it's really hard to continue that way the long run. I am far away from being zero waste but I also think that the beginning from my journey wasn't that healthy. In the beginnging of my journey there was no bulk store in my city. I was happy that I could go to organic super markets where they had most of the fruits and veggies without packaging but I was kind of fixed on buying food which is package free, vegan and regional. This can be a bit one sided in German winter if you always buy the same thing like potatoes, pumpkins, carrots, cabbage and apples as fruit. Now I am less hard to myself if I buy things which are packaged, not vegan or regional. On the other side I include more areas as buying second hand or flying less. Especially if you are living, traveling or doing stuff with other people you can't force everything on them and sometimes it's better to make a compromise.
Great video as always! Here in Sweden we dont really have farmers markets or bulk stores, but I wanna recommend Rekrorings to other swedes, there might be one in your area. 🙂 It's a kind of drive through farmers market where you order from farmers directly on FB and then you go pick it up. Not package free but very local which is nice. I'm also lucky enough that there's some farms around here that have like farm stores where you can sometimes shop in bulk which is nice. However, I have a question for people who shop in bulk. If you bring a jar or something, to put the food in, how do you weigh it? I got these sturdy, gots certified cotton bags a while ago, but they weigh way more than the small paper or plastic bags they offer in the store, which obvs adds to the price. How do y'all deal with that?
I'm not entirely sure if my experience can be helpful to you but, in Italy we have this place called Negozio Leggero where you can buy foods and toiletries in bulk and without any package. If you bring your own jar/bag/container, it will be weighed BEFORE so the weight of the container is not counted into the final price. Idk if I explain it in a proper way but
I have diabetes… zero waste is impossible.
❤
Hi I have recently come across a company called palanercare who claim their period pads are flushable please could you look in to this. Thank you.
Hey Gittemary, can you collab with Shelbizleee?
there is no such thing as zero waste. you can be low/minimum waste but not ZERO waste. we are beings that take up space on this planet and use the resources it has to offer 🤷🏽♂
Plastics never going to go away there's not much you can do about it oh we can all know we're in despite everything in paper I do buy a lot of stuff in paper cardboard I buy my mountain dew and cans sometimes my husband buys his Coca-Cola and cans I do know you can recycle cans lol all you can do is live and breathe out of your nose and mouth and not stressed out over plastic and just be happy about yourself not worry about what other people think about you who gives a f*** what other people think about you people don't live with you do what makes you happy you're the only one in your mind that can set goals to make you happy I used to think when I was a teenager how am I going to make my friends happy about me if someone's going to be your friend and they're not happy who you are don't be friends with them I remember when I was in school there was a girl named Brittany that was supposed to be my friend he asked me can I borrow your clothes in your closet can I come over and I asked her why does she want my clothes she says I just want to borrow them for a week and I said okay she comes over my grandma's house my grandma goes all you made a friend my grandma cooked dinner my grandma said I can have her come over for dinner we had a can of Pepsi we are at steak and mashed potatoes and gravy I think we have chocolate brownies and she sounds cool and she was happy to come over and eat lol when we got done she goes can I go in your room and look in your clothes and drawers and see what I can get to where I said okay was look at my closet my grandma knocks on my door in my room my Grandma Brenda so what is she doing your closet and I said oh it's okay Grandma I'm just let her borrow a few things she tells me when the girl leaves is she going to give that stuff back I said Yes she'll get back in a week , well it turns out she end up saying that I'm no longer a friend she didn't give any of my clothes back she was using me to get stuff for me I was sad I was upset I cried I said why did this happen to me I told her when I saw her what is your problem she says that I am a prep that she hates and I said why I was nice to you I invited you over to my grandma's house for dinner and everything was cool we're getting along she said I was so stupid that she just warned me to fight her over so she can keep all my stuff she was using me for my clothes and I asked her why she says my clothes are more fancier than hers she said she would make fun of me cuz people like me cuz I was a prep in school and I had a lot of friends and she didn't have any just don't trust anyone especially if someone wants to wear your clothes and treat you like crap for no reason at all that's why I don't care about material things that much anymore that's why I don't care what people think about me cuz I've been hurt too many times I would rather be my own best friend 😀💚