MST3k.s10.e03 - Merlin's Shop Of Mystical Wonders

Поділитися
Вставка

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,7 тис.

  • @AnnieLynsen
    @AnnieLynsen 10 років тому +677

    It makes me so indescribably happy that almost every episode of MST3K is available on UA-cam.

    • @abdaniel487
      @abdaniel487 10 років тому +19

      ***** look up RiffTrax, if you haven't already. It's the same crew and everything, and they do all kinds of movies. My favorite was the Twilight series. There's best-of stuff on UA-cam, if you want to get an idea.

    • @jaredrichardson8920
      @jaredrichardson8920 10 років тому +34

      Being a rare MISTIE in Britain, youtube is the reason I love the show!

    • @TheEleventhWheatley
      @TheEleventhWheatley 10 років тому +12

      Jared Richardson Fellow British MSTie! :D

    • @jaredrichardson8920
      @jaredrichardson8920 10 років тому +7

      That makes 2 of us! Well done us!

    • @jarmakey1
      @jarmakey1 10 років тому +3

      Adrian Daniel My favorites are The Room and Road House :D

  • @magicemperor2420
    @magicemperor2420 3 роки тому +85

    I often say “You’re welcome” with that tone and inflection, because of this!

  • @GreenDay1981
    @GreenDay1981 9 років тому +419

    "Merlin was a thieving crackhead who fenced VCRs to feed his habit."
    I love that line!

  • @scootza1
    @scootza1 4 роки тому +335

    "My reviews have destroyed whole cities!"
    - Every Yelp Reviewer Ever

    • @jamesanthony8438
      @jamesanthony8438 4 роки тому +23

      I've actually had that as my tagline in Yelp! since the day I opened my account. =)

    • @minxstole93
      @minxstole93 4 роки тому +9

      @@jamesanthony8438 That's amazing! I almost want to create my own Yelp account just to make that my tagline on there also! 😝

    • @waltersobchak7275
      @waltersobchak7275 3 роки тому +1

      @@minxstole93 what is yelp

    • @drhfuhruhurr1899
      @drhfuhruhurr1899 3 роки тому

      @@minxstole93 p

    • @CharlestonChica
      @CharlestonChica 2 роки тому +9

      "I chew places like this up and spit them into the toilet."

  • @retrogamingcommentary4163
    @retrogamingcommentary4163 Рік тому +73

    Servo repeatedly mocking Merlin's stilted "You're welcome!" will never not be funny to me for some reason. 😆

    • @igottastewgoin
      @igottastewgoin 5 місяців тому +5

      This eventually wormed it's way into my #1 favorite line in all of MST3k

    • @johnochiltree1170
      @johnochiltree1170 4 місяці тому +6

      You’re welcome

    • @tontocorazon
      @tontocorazon 29 днів тому +2

      You're welcome

  • @RileyLaRoux
    @RileyLaRoux 8 років тому +157

    "i bet the j stands for jerk" "now you don't know that" is a joel-esque sounding joke & i love it

  • @LordZontar
    @LordZontar 11 років тому +248

    "Please, Grandpa Borgnine, tell me SOMEBODY gets a happy ending!"
    "No, Timmy, all are damned. Even you."

    • @theangryholmesian4556
      @theangryholmesian4556 3 роки тому +1

      @The Kraemer What really?

    • @Azmina_the_warlock
      @Azmina_the_warlock 3 роки тому +2

      Nah, he just played a "satanic" cult leader in The Devil's Rain

    • @williammatthews693
      @williammatthews693 3 роки тому +9

      You see Timmy, we all die alone and afraid.

    • @TK199999
      @TK199999 2 роки тому +9

      Please Grampa Borgnine at least NO more sub-plots. Sorry Timmy it's either the laughter of every thirsting dark gods or another random character enters the story.

    • @bondoly66
      @bondoly66 2 роки тому +3

      In the first one the monkey did kill the entire family.

  • @jessicahamilton1454
    @jessicahamilton1454 7 років тому +228

    "Don't encourage them Madeline, its nothing more than a rock."
    "Like your womb."

    • @MsSjofn
      @MsSjofn 5 років тому +16

      That makes me laugh every damn time.

    • @82dorrin
      @82dorrin 9 місяців тому

      You couldn't do that joke today. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @alexiaNBC
      @alexiaNBC 6 місяців тому +3

      "Plus the polyps in my colon-"
      "Look, I got to go."

    • @jimgarrett2655
      @jimgarrett2655 6 місяців тому +1

      Mst3k can be stone cold

  • @AdhamOhm
    @AdhamOhm 9 років тому +357

    "But Grandpa Borgnine, the tree fell right on him!"
    "I know Billy, but I wrote myself into a corner."

    • @crypticmcnuggets754
      @crypticmcnuggets754 9 років тому +7

      +Felamine Best line in this episode

    • @mrcritical6751
      @mrcritical6751 8 років тому +52

      "Then the cats flesh was roasted"
      "Grandpa no!!"
      "No you gotta hear this its flesh was roasted"
      "No Grandpa Borgnine"!!!'

    • @troywright359
      @troywright359 6 років тому +30

      Grandpa Borgnine no please, not another subplot!

    • @coachrenaldo
      @coachrenaldo 5 років тому +12

      That bastard! He turned me into Benjamin Franklin!
      My favorite line.

    • @BeeTeeGee
      @BeeTeeGee 5 років тому +15

      "No, Grandpa Borgnine! Leave light and hope for me, please!"
      "Get out from behind that cushion Billy, it gets worse!"

  • @pavo1394
    @pavo1394 5 років тому +80

    "Sorry Unitarian. According to you I'm in the sun, and butterflies, and am just some vague benevolent force. You're on your own."

    • @donnienicholson6062
      @donnienicholson6062 4 місяці тому

      When did he realize Merlin was only 38yo? I'd say about 40:02??

  • @snadsrad
    @snadsrad 10 років тому +169

    The groaning noises as Borgnine is getting up and sitting down are the greatest. I love this show so goddamn much.

    • @Jaren929
      @Jaren929 Рік тому +9

      R.I.P. Ernest Borgnine

    • @hankworden3850
      @hankworden3850 Рік тому +1

      @@Jaren929 remember when Spencer Tracy beats the crap out of Borgnine in Bad Day at Blackrock? It was cool.

    • @hankworden3850
      @hankworden3850 Рік тому +1

      @@Jaren929 remember when Sterling Hayden beats the crap out of Borgnine in Johnny Guitar? It was cool.

    • @PriceFamPrime
      @PriceFamPrime Рік тому +5

      @@hankworden3850 Remember when Borgnine was being interviewed on Fox & Friends and was asked how he stayed so active at such an old age, and he leaned over and whispered loudly "I masturbate a LOT". Hilarious!

    • @mehitablestorm8877
      @mehitablestorm8877 10 місяців тому

      @@hankworden3850 remember when Montgomery Clift beat the crap out of Borgnine in From Here to Eternity? Yeah....that's how you know it's fiction.

  • @MsGrapeNehi
    @MsGrapeNehi 11 років тому +300

    If Servo had said "You're welcome" in that voice one more time, I probably would've ruptured my spleen. xD

    • @ARiddle1986
      @ARiddle1986 10 років тому +17

      I giggle every time he uses that voice. XD

    • @PreacherNny
      @PreacherNny 5 років тому +13

      I used to quote that all the time as a teenager, lol

    • @Nickel_The_Wise
      @Nickel_The_Wise 5 років тому +8

      @@PreacherNny weirdly enough, the one I took from this one was
      "..damn, I gotta go change, I'll be right back. *Damn!* "

    • @Lethe69
      @Lethe69 5 років тому +12

      Glad I’m not the only one, I was laughing so hard at that point I had to pause it to recover...then rewind and watch it again...

    • @TheBonkleFox
      @TheBonkleFox 4 роки тому +16

      "Yuh wulcuhm"

  • @NinjaLawyerSteve
    @NinjaLawyerSteve 6 років тому +91

    "Honey are you ok?"
    "Yeah I'm old and roasted the cat with my breath but I'm fine."
    One of my favorite lines from this episode!

  • @patrickh9950
    @patrickh9950 9 років тому +240

    "Remember to believe in magic, or I'll kill you"

  • @rafaeltrivino1790
    @rafaeltrivino1790 9 років тому +98

    Crow:"Remember the kitten Billy? That was nothing compared to this at least the
    kitten went quick Billy."

  • @bloodrunsclear
    @bloodrunsclear 10 років тому +95

    'That bastard, he turned me into Benjamin Franklin!'
    (favorite line)

    • @terabite7688
      @terabite7688 9 років тому +15

      You're welcome.
      (My favorite line)

    • @bloodrunsclear
      @bloodrunsclear 9 років тому +2

      Derp Gaming Weeks later and this still makes me smile :)

    • @bloodrunsclear
      @bloodrunsclear 9 років тому +3

      Derp Gaming This is true. Uncle Borgnine is spooky all by himself O_o

    • @terabite7688
      @terabite7688 9 років тому +2

      I prefer Grandma Rotty.

    • @bloodrunsclear
      @bloodrunsclear 9 років тому +1

      Derp Gaming She's a treasure :)

  • @Legboy1129
    @Legboy1129 8 років тому +213

    *Mother takes her husband now baby to the next room.*
    Tom: "Based on a story by Sigmund Freud."
    I love that quote.

    • @arielfangirlmendez
      @arielfangirlmendez 8 років тому +2

      CDR. Javik That scene won't get it out of my head!

    • @amohotepv
      @amohotepv 8 років тому +16

      ironically, that's the OPPOSITE of what Freud said. Freud said every kid wants to be their father to be closer to their mother, not the father wants to be the kid.

    • @middcore7097
      @middcore7097 7 років тому +6

      There's actually a Ray Bradbury short story which is kind of like this. It's no less bizarre, although of course it's much better executed.

    • @PetProjects2011
      @PetProjects2011 4 роки тому +18

      Mike: "Great, now she has to raise her own husband."
      Crow: "That's what most wives think they do, anyway."

    • @erniemiller1953
      @erniemiller1953 4 роки тому +1

      @@middcore7097 Pretty Maids All In a Row?

  • @siukong
    @siukong 6 років тому +75

    1:24:12
    "How was your birthday? Did you have a party?"
    "Yeah. And my fish and dog died, Dad's girlfriend disappeared with no explanation, and now he's acting all paranoid ... Can I open my present now?"

    • @53subscribersnovideos35
      @53subscribersnovideos35 4 роки тому +11

      The girlfriend disappeared because of a cut scene; the monkey made her try to drown the kid in the tub.

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 4 роки тому +2

      Six Gun Shauna So even _this_ film had standards.

    • @SlamminWolfgang
      @SlamminWolfgang 4 роки тому +11

      @@angbandsbane Nah, the second story (and the intro with the drunk fortune teller) is actually a recut of an older horror film, "The Devil's Gift". In *that* movie, the monkey devil possesses the girlfriend and ultimately blows the house up, killing Michael and his family. Those scenes were removed when turning "The Devil's Gift" into "Merlin's Shop".

    • @mrcritical6751
      @mrcritical6751 4 роки тому +9

      What the hell was wrong with this director, you can’t just take a violent and pull no punches horror movie and make it a segment of a kids film, what’s next is he gonna cut down Texas Chainsaw Massacre and put it in a film about The Easter Bunny?

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 4 роки тому +8

      Mr Critical I have a much bigger problem with the first half of the film. It was made specifically for this “kid-friendly” film, and contains such _whimsical_ elements as infertility, rapid aging and the face of Satan himself,

  • @Alucard-A-La-Carte
    @Alucard-A-La-Carte 5 років тому +90

    "They just got Barb Wire at Blockbuster!"
    Ladies and gentlemen: the '90s.

    • @burtknighten1873
      @burtknighten1873 3 роки тому +9

      The pinnacle of human achievement

    • @AdamWestish
      @AdamWestish 2 роки тому +2

      No more Crystal Pepsi? the mighty have fallen

    • @A-small-amount-of-peas
      @A-small-amount-of-peas 2 роки тому +11

      There was real bitterness in that line. The company that was supposed to promote MST3K the movie spent most of that budget on Barb Wire

    • @Cuiasodo
      @Cuiasodo Рік тому +2

      Best part was there were probably about five adds for Barbed Wire showing on Sci-Fi while this was airing on the same network.

  • @snatch_that_grovy_up9049
    @snatch_that_grovy_up9049 9 років тому +97

    "I talk to myself a LOT. Long monologues complete with sarcasm..."

    • @StoneColdSergio
      @StoneColdSergio 3 роки тому

      introspective af

    • @amyquick4862
      @amyquick4862 3 роки тому +4

      Was thinking of this exact quote today, that's what brought me here lol

  • @verkenderkraftwerk2
    @verkenderkraftwerk2 10 років тому +117

    So Billy, by this time a kid had thrown a chicken while an infertile couple had looked at a store.

  • @jhlogue
    @jhlogue 9 років тому +102

    *lights go out*
    "Better eat all the ice cream"
    Every. Single. Time.

  • @kftc88
    @kftc88 12 років тому +101

    Nicholas is completely justified in wandering off when his Mom is in the middle of ignoring him in favor of a deeply awkward conversation about marital problems and infertility.

    • @badanamu9249
      @badanamu9249 Рік тому +4

      So how's Mr.Excitement?
      ...when your mom starts her chat like that you know there's time to spare

    • @lesleymcshanemitchell9651
      @lesleymcshanemitchell9651 Рік тому

      he needed his arse kicking brat

    • @dr.altoclef9255
      @dr.altoclef9255 9 місяців тому +4

      Especially for a cool magic shop. Places like that usually have tumbled rocks and glass beads and card tricks…

  • @minorshan
    @minorshan 8 років тому +125

    20:45 "Merchandise consists of knick knacks, statues... corn, green chili, chicken... *sigh* ...onion"

    • @smittywerbinjaegermanjense9554
      @smittywerbinjaegermanjense9554 6 років тому +15

      'rattlesnake, Velveeta...hair...'

    • @A-small-amount-of-peas
      @A-small-amount-of-peas 6 років тому +13

      That episode crossover joke just made me laugh until I threw up 🌽, green peppers...... Onions

    • @smittywerbinjaegermanjense9554
      @smittywerbinjaegermanjense9554 6 років тому +10

      Be careful not to eat it while listening to 'California Lady'. That may be just a bit much

    • @Mrssanaiftikhar
      @Mrssanaiftikhar 6 років тому +1

      this thread right here deserves "the best youtube comments of 2018" award. I literally choked >.

    • @MkeKen67
      @MkeKen67 5 років тому +10

      [Lightning strike] "Stop talking, Johnny Longbone!"

  • @PlagueRavenRX
    @PlagueRavenRX 6 років тому +278

    The whole concept of Merlin the great and powerful sorcerer moving to America to give up magic and open a knickknack shop is so utterly ridiculous to me.

    • @kellykellybumbum
      @kellykellybumbum 3 роки тому +4

      I agree for real.

    • @squallsrapture
      @squallsrapture 3 роки тому +27

      Its not NOT the same story as Mormonism.

    • @fantastopotomus
      @fantastopotomus 3 роки тому +18

      It's the American Dream!

    • @TheBonkleFox
      @TheBonkleFox 3 роки тому +30

      It'd make a good d&d plotline. A wizard who wants to get people interested in magic again, but really he just wants to cause a surge of wild magic to see what'll happen

    • @choosecarefully408
      @choosecarefully408 3 роки тому +12

      There was a _VERY_ short-lived sitcom based on a similar premise. "Merlin Lives Next Door" I think it was called. Same basic premise: cash in on the name _every damned episode_ while giving the viewers absolutely nothing each episode.

  • @ninjawraith17
    @ninjawraith17 11 років тому +47

    Say what you will, but Ernest Borgnine's children's book, "Dr. Blood's Orgy of Gore" is now part of the Little Golden Books collection alongside works like the classic, "The Monster at the End of this Book"

  • @DJTranceMark
    @DJTranceMark 12 років тому +366

    No way, I was in this movie too! I was the grandson Ernest Borgnine tells the story to. Also, my little sister was actually the baby that the guy turns into, so I think you were holding her while trying to get her to smile at the camera. I remember the director being a pretty nice guy, and having fun during filming, although I was just a kid. I saw the MST3K version in high school, and thought it was hilarious! Do you like their commentary?

    • @christophermccarthy2801
      @christophermccarthy2801 Рік тому +23

      You weren’t lying. That’s so wild, what other movies were you in?

    • @Azmina_the_warlock
      @Azmina_the_warlock Рік тому +7

      What?? That's so cool!

    • @mrcritical6751
      @mrcritical6751 Рік тому +13

      What was it like working with Ernest Borgnine?

    • @annecasey8463
      @annecasey8463 Рік тому +12

      You are so cool for being in a MST3K!! Lucky!!!!

    • @harvestcanada
      @harvestcanada Рік тому +6

      This when these old a tots became hip and cool, it's Ernest Borgine man! 😂😂😂😂

  • @tillitsdone
    @tillitsdone Рік тому +23

    "I'm Bob Jackass." Idk why, but that kills me every single time.

    • @badanamu9249
      @badanamu9249 10 місяців тому +4

      Because it's perfection

    • @jimgarrett2655
      @jimgarrett2655 6 місяців тому +2

      Absolutely iconic line. Sublime.

  • @HackneySack
    @HackneySack 8 років тому +117

    The furious psychic is one of my favorite MST3k moments of all time.

    • @jeffreyschofield5163
      @jeffreyschofield5163 6 років тому +14

      HackneySack It’s only rivaled by the old guy in The Brute Man!!!

    • @MkeKen67
      @MkeKen67 5 років тому +3

      Her face was pulled too tight by plastic surgery, so maybe that made her a bit cranky.

    • @MkeKen67
      @MkeKen67 5 років тому +10

      @@jeffreyschofield5163 - love the crotchety guy in Brute Man! Mike totally lost it when they riffed that first grocery store scene.

    • @sock2828
      @sock2828 4 роки тому +6

      Unmotivated rage

    • @applebonker141
      @applebonker141 3 роки тому +5

      She probably had stuff to do that day. I'd be salty too if some idiot bought a cursed cymbal monkey with the power to kill

  • @Mikeanglo
    @Mikeanglo 11 років тому +100

    "Did she just threaten him with sex?"
    Hahaha exactly what I was thinking...

    • @Yabuturtle
      @Yabuturtle Рік тому +4

      I know right? Should have said that he'll get a lot more once he finds the monkey. That would have made more sense. xD

  • @DanicaPaulie
    @DanicaPaulie 12 років тому +57

    "Plus the polyps in my colon..."
    "Look, I gotta go."
    Fave riff ever LOL!

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 4 роки тому +4

      Not much worse that what he _actually_ included in his grandson’s bedtime story.

  • @StellarMarvel
    @StellarMarvel 9 років тому +100

    " I love the selection here at Crap & Stuff "

    • @AJF786
      @AJF786 9 років тому +5

      I've been needing a porcelain German shepherd!

    • @billding7073
      @billding7073 9 років тому +3

      +Stellar Marvel The Breakfast Vomitorium is very popular in Berkeley.

    • @SpleenieMartini
      @SpleenieMartini 8 років тому +4

      I spoke with Dr Collins today.
      Oh yeah, what did that quack say?
      He blames your wiener.

  • @SecretAgentBartFargo
    @SecretAgentBartFargo 9 років тому +58

    Old man on bench: "Well look at you. What gypsy ring do you belong to?"
    Merlin: "Piss off!"
    LOL

  • @arthurjeremypearson
    @arthurjeremypearson 5 років тому +69

    "Her house is HO scale"
    Cutting edge model railroading jokes.

    • @FUBARguy107
      @FUBARguy107 3 місяці тому

      They never cease to surprise me with niche references and comments that, while still funny, not everyone will get them. I think that's important.

  • @reroll0825
    @reroll0825 Рік тому +15

    Now grandson, you ever see Princess Bride? Then don't worry, completely original story.

  • @Gimodon
    @Gimodon 2 роки тому +18

    "He blamed your wiener" call me immature, but that like cracks me up every time.

  • @PetersPianoShoppe
    @PetersPianoShoppe 2 роки тому +24

    “I bid you lick me” remains in the top ten all-time best MST3K riffs.

  • @jamarehire2011
    @jamarehire2011 2 роки тому +26

    I love that this grandpa is telling a 7 year old a story about a troubled marriage and infertility....

    • @mehitablestorm8877
      @mehitablestorm8877 10 місяців тому +8

      And with at least 2 dead pets in the story.

    • @crowtservo
      @crowtservo 5 місяців тому +4

      Kids love those kinds of stories.

  • @CthulhuianBunny
    @CthulhuianBunny 8 років тому +106

    So, on top of not having a second source of income to for the two-story house, the woman in the first story now has to buy diapers, formula, baby clothes, a child seat for her car, _and_ she has to pay for the queen-sized hole in her bedroom floor… That's a pretty shitty ending Grandpa Borgnine.

    • @BaconMinion
      @BaconMinion 7 років тому +44

      Well, there was a rather large pile of diamonds just sitting there...

    • @MattGodzilla2000
      @MattGodzilla2000 6 років тому

      Because the diamonds disappeared

    • @lookbovine
      @lookbovine 6 років тому +8

      Don’t forget the scorched cat. Did the diamonds disappear? The book allowing her to make a handful of diamonds is still there.

    • @101Volts
      @101Volts 5 років тому +16

      Diamonds that look exactly like cheap plastic beads you can get at a fabric store.

    • @danielwilson8604
      @danielwilson8604 5 років тому +1

      @@101Volts and may come with other side effects.

  • @Oldsong69
    @Oldsong69 11 років тому +56

    This movie was like a Disney version of Creepshow

  • @aarondavis8943
    @aarondavis8943 Рік тому +6

    The constant crescendoing of the music is soul crushing.

    • @christopherkelley1664
      @christopherkelley1664 Рік тому +1

      Reminds of the Eagles' "take it to the limit one more time
      take it to the limit one more time
      take it to the limit one more time
      take it to the limit one more time
      take it to the limit one more time
      take it to the limit one more time
      take it to the limit one more time
      take it to the limit one more time"

    • @donnienicholson6062
      @donnienicholson6062 4 місяці тому

      So is a monkey doing weird things, everything is dying but Mike acts like Barney Fife.

  • @TheLadyBandit
    @TheLadyBandit 10 років тому +88

    Welcome to Knight Burger. What will ye...have?

    • @lisvender
      @lisvender 4 роки тому +6

      It’s that little, uncertain pause in there that makes this line so perfect

  • @jillionsofcrafts6255
    @jillionsofcrafts6255 2 роки тому +14

    David talking to the psychic - and Mike and the bots’ take on her anger - is just gold. 🤣

  • @sciencefantastic
    @sciencefantastic 2 роки тому +10

    "It's Possessy the Clown!"
    Just one of many amazing lines.

  • @MyOldTapes
    @MyOldTapes 2 роки тому +11

    I’ve seen this episodes countless times, but ‘We also make keys’ catches me off guard every time.

  • @GregDad100
    @GregDad100 11 років тому +81

    Terrible film, but you gotta love when David is being told by the pissed-off "psychic" to get rid of the toy, but not to "let it KNOW you're trying to get rid of it." So, he begins cleaning his living room, trying to knock the monkey into a trash bag while whistling ("Do da do do da. Not thinkin' about demons No demons").

    • @mkocel
      @mkocel 4 роки тому +10

      Love that part "YOU STUPID BASTARD I COULD STAB YOU IN THE EYES RIGHT NOW SO HELP ME GOD!"

    • @clamscasino6488
      @clamscasino6488 4 роки тому +3

      Well, at least he did manage to knock the monkey into the bag just in time for Bingo.

  • @genyfear
    @genyfear 2 роки тому +58

    I actually find Merlin and Zurella really charming. They just have a sweet grandparents vibe to them.

    • @christopherwall2121
      @christopherwall2121 2 роки тому +3

      Whatever happened with Nimue, anyway?

    • @GeraldM_inNC
      @GeraldM_inNC Рік тому +14

      The basic idea wasn't that bad. The problem was the irrelevant long intro and irrelevant second story, and the inability to decide what the mood of the movie really is supposed to be.

    • @FreejackVesa
      @FreejackVesa Рік тому +12

      The actors playing them managed to not make them creepy, I agree. They did seem sweet.

    • @DiggitySlice
      @DiggitySlice Рік тому

      Merlin spoke way too slowly though, stretch out the runtime amirite?

    • @mrcritical6751
      @mrcritical6751 Рік тому +3

      @@GeraldM_inNC it needed a third story if anything, an anthology that’s only two stories isn’t an anthology, that’s a double feature

  • @kingbadmovie
    @kingbadmovie 4 роки тому +13

    "Magical Merlin and his Holy Demons."
    That sums up this movie perfectly.

  • @joeomalley2835
    @joeomalley2835 4 роки тому +9

    As a kid, I guess I didn't watch this show enough, but now I'm going back and watching all the episodes and love them. Big fan of it! Thanks for posting.

  • @bjwwilcera
    @bjwwilcera 4 роки тому +30

    "welcome to Knight Burger what will ye have" at 14:17 always gets me for some reason

    • @Yabuturtle
      @Yabuturtle Рік тому +2

      It's that slight pause when he says "what will ye..have." xD I love it. lol

  • @Necron1999
    @Necron1999 12 років тому +16

    I think what I love most about this episode is how it's supposed to whimsical and delightful but only succeeds in being disturbing. Even the supposedly "innocent" moments are creepy in a totally unintentional way.

  • @tye220
    @tye220 6 місяців тому +4

    this is by far the best episode

  • @rouka120
    @rouka120 5 років тому +15

    “Well, son. If you hold the lid open we’ll bury her at sea....”
    Gets me every time. I had many a sea burial with fishy friends. One time I DID get a garden burial with a better loved fish. When we went to bury it my dad started with,
    “We are gathered here to remember Sammy....”
    As a kid I turned to him and said,
    “Dad, he’s just a fish.”
    I think he was more upset about it than I was. Had that fish for four years.
    R.I.P Sammy the Pleco.

  • @cartooncentral263
    @cartooncentral263 2 роки тому +22

    1:27:31 "Remember to believe in magic... or I'll kill you." 😂😂😂

    • @benpegg7962
      @benpegg7962 Рік тому +1

      “ I did a good job painting this room. “

  • @Worqfis
    @Worqfis 4 роки тому +24

    And then Merlin's shop of wonders became that antique shop in "Friday the Thirteenth: The Series".

  • @Firesidetalker
    @Firesidetalker 12 років тому +12

    More movies need to start with, "Well, Timmy, now that the lights are out, wanna hear about my unsold screenplay?!"

  • @markjohnson4643
    @markjohnson4643 3 роки тому +12

    "he puttered around the kitchen awhile and got himself a cold drink" 😂😂😂

  • @cartooncentral263
    @cartooncentral263 7 років тому +45

    That old man was the voice of Mermaid Man from Spongebob!

    • @DeeObl0
      @DeeObl0 6 років тому +9

      Comedy 3000 Eeeeeeevvvvvilllllll!

    • @DEthe5150
      @DEthe5150 5 років тому +8

      @@DeeObl0 Stop shoutin' - I'm nappin'!!!

    • @notinspectorgadget
      @notinspectorgadget 4 роки тому +11

      and The Dirty Dozen, and Escape from New York, and a bunch of other things it's Ernest Borgnine

    • @nickdirienzo2849
      @nickdirienzo2849 3 роки тому

      @@DeeObl0 dqqqqqqqqqdqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq

    • @nickdirienzo2849
      @nickdirienzo2849 3 роки тому

      @@DeeObl0 cqqc

  • @horehoundbasedcandy8736
    @horehoundbasedcandy8736 3 роки тому +21

    Merlin wrote a spell book, proof that either Merlin is actually a wizard or he multi classed into wizard and sorcerer.

  • @N0rion
    @N0rion 10 років тому +168

    The toy monkey is actually an allegory for the whole movie itself. Under the bright and friendly exterior lies a narrative rife with the suffering of innocents at the hands of ultimate evil, meant to bring despair to all who come in contact. Quite fascinating. Too bad this movie also sucks.

    • @Mdriver1981
      @Mdriver1981 10 років тому +24

      but there are funny cartoons!

    • @dorpth
      @dorpth 4 роки тому +11

      Well, it was actually a short story "The Monkey" from Stephan King's collection in "Skeleton Crew".

    • @TentinQuarantino_
      @TentinQuarantino_ 4 роки тому +7

      If the movie didn’t suck, we wouldn’t all be here now.

    • @zombie..
      @zombie.. 4 роки тому +2

      That’s deep.
      I thought it was just a cheap take on the Monkey’s Paw.

    • @amandawilcox9638
      @amandawilcox9638 4 роки тому +6

      lostonthewayhere: You must have missed the extensive disclaimer that begins each show. Of COURSE the movie sucked! Silly human.

  • @WillDaBeard
    @WillDaBeard Рік тому +7

    28:00 mst3k predicts 90% of future UA-cam content

  • @StygianSkunk
    @StygianSkunk 9 років тому +33

    "I've trained my flatulence to scout ahead of me"
    x3

  • @unr3alGaming
    @unr3alGaming 10 років тому +67

    35:10 "Come out or I'll review you..."

  • @thefaboloussob
    @thefaboloussob 12 років тому +22

    God bless ya, Ernest Borgnine! (1917-2012) My fondest memories were seeing him in "Airwolf," "The Single Guy," & his guest appearance on "The Simpsons."

  • @escalatingbarbarism5096
    @escalatingbarbarism5096 Рік тому +9

    I always love how brutal they are with grandma fortune teller in the opening scene.

    • @badanamu9249
      @badanamu9249 Рік тому +8

      My garage sale appointed home! ...is there any cheaper vodka than popoff?

  • @alexthompson9516
    @alexthompson9516 8 років тому +28

    "This guy took his life, as lovers often do..."

    • @SeaOfTides
      @SeaOfTides 8 років тому +6

      Paint your palette blue and grey.

  • @SeaOfTides
    @SeaOfTides 8 років тому +17

    Crow and Tom reviewing each other is the absolute funniest segment skit MST3K ever did.

  • @doggoroni_
    @doggoroni_ 4 роки тому +7

    "Tonight, on Old Lady Gets Killed."

  • @JDAN.
    @JDAN. 9 років тому +62

    "Dad has one syllable." Yeah that made me irrationally angry as well.

    • @HylianFox3
      @HylianFox3 6 років тому +8

      "DAY-AD! DAY-AD!!!"

    • @josephschultz3301
      @josephschultz3301 4 роки тому +1

      There's _nothing_ irrational about how angry that child's line delivery makes me xD . If it's not all mumbled and impossible to hear, then it's just completely incorrect. He was probably the son of one of the producers or something.

  • @augustwest5356
    @augustwest5356 9 років тому +95

    "I talked to the doctor today."
    "Oh yeah what did that quack have to say?"
    "He blamed your weiner."

    • @AJF786
      @AJF786 9 років тому +17

      "For Pete's sake, Madelyn! It's nothing more than a rock."
      "Like your womb."

    • @augustwest5356
      @augustwest5356 9 років тому +8

      Mr1987Joe HAHAHA!! so many classic lines in this episode. The critic guy is such an unnecessary asshole Mike and the bots have no trouble coming up with material. Just thinking about this episode cracks me up. Everything from the clapping monkey to old grandpa Borgenein is ripe for riffing. It's up there in my to 3 episodes for sure. Space mutiny being number 1 for sure

    • @mrcritical6751
      @mrcritical6751 7 років тому +4

      Blast Hardcheese

    • @JoeyJ0J0
      @JoeyJ0J0 4 роки тому +1

      @@augustwest5356 mine are Time Chasers, Space mutiny , Merlins shop and overdrawn at the memory bank

    • @LoneKharnivore
      @LoneKharnivore 4 роки тому

      I couldn't get through Space Mutiny, it was just too awful.

  • @d.s.parentsr6502
    @d.s.parentsr6502 7 років тому +23

    10:41 - "Merlin the saucerer." LOL!

  • @jimjamjoeyjoejoe
    @jimjamjoeyjoejoe 4 роки тому +9

    The Borgnine impersonations were fantastic, some of the best riffing from the show.

    • @badanamu9249
      @badanamu9249 Рік тому

      They dont impersonate the classics without putting in the work. Theres an equally amazing Boris Karloff inpercenation in another MSTK classic, it goes
      "Joel,....your Terribly Alone! Your in your high school boiler room" and Crow even has the Karloff lisp. Thats serious devotion to a worthy character. Its not just a wisecracking puppet, thats the dedication only true admiration can conjure

  • @royalsapien
    @royalsapien 13 років тому +9

    Thank you for uploading this. The world needs more MST3k.

  • @4everasinger286
    @4everasinger286 3 роки тому +15

    16:10 - 16:16 is probably my favorite moment in all of mystery science. I due laughing everytime 😂

    • @linttastic
      @linttastic 2 роки тому +5

      Right?! I'm gonna need to add 'trained flatulence' somehow into my next DnD campaign lol

  • @gruknarorcishwar-yerhereto8489
    @gruknarorcishwar-yerhereto8489 8 років тому +27

    i once accidentally watch this movie on my own... like the normal movie no mst3k to make it good.... it was hell, im dead now

    • @TheLordUrban
      @TheLordUrban 8 років тому +9

      Sgt_Spork55 My mother bought this for me on VHS when I was 11 because she knew I liked medieval/ fantasy stuff. Needless to say I was very disappointed and confused by the gift.

    • @SuperEvilC
      @SuperEvilC 8 років тому +2

      I like it.

    • @SpleenieMartini
      @SpleenieMartini 8 років тому +2

      .............Sgt Spork Memorial............

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 4 роки тому +4

      It was meant to be a kid-friendly adaption of _The Devil’s Gift_ - already a conflict of interest if you ask me.

    • @Tindometari
      @Tindometari 4 роки тому +1

      I once made that mistake with *Manos* -- and the compounded it by taking it as a challenge. Fortunately, I found a local trauma support group ...

  • @InfernalSpawnODOOM
    @InfernalSpawnODOOM 11 років тому +30

    Fun Fact: the name "Ouija Board" is a trademark of Hasbro Inc.

  • @aquabreeze7612
    @aquabreeze7612 6 років тому +16

    rest in peace Miffy the cat and Sparkle the dog. They deserved to be in better movies where they were more than sacrificial beings that drove home the evil of the spells/toy.

  • @HonorWave
    @HonorWave Рік тому +2

    This is by far for the funniest riff lmfao
    ""You're welcome"" lol this is by far the funniest segment skit

    • @MyOldTapes
      @MyOldTapes 5 місяців тому

      ua-cam.com/video/ggajNHVjyKY/v-deo.htmlsi=zj3jbsFQz6piYUDt

  • @acerumble
    @acerumble 9 років тому +36

    "We also make keys!"

  • @AJF786
    @AJF786 10 років тому +19

    The verdict is in, and the world was *not* awaiting a chubby pompous eunuch!!!

  • @lowstryder1022
    @lowstryder1022 2 роки тому +8

    “I bet you can have a baby” 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 Makes me laugh every single time! The very first time I heard that about 20 years ago, I laughed for 2-3 minutes straight

  • @DDCecil
    @DDCecil 10 років тому +28

    1:22:05 Instead of talking to Merlin, you could be finishing your "A Song of Ice and Fire" books!

    • @shannonshan5939
      @shannonshan5939 Рік тому +2

      My thoughts exactly. Is that GRR helping out a fellow screenplay writer?

  • @Auteckre
    @Auteckre 2 роки тому +4

    “I am here to awaken the world... to bring magic back into the lives of those who have let science and technology cloud their perception.”
    Crow: Electric skillets must go!

  • @darrelsam419
    @darrelsam419 10 років тому +46

    I'm honestly unsure if this is supposed to be a whimsical fantasy or just a downright disturbing horror movie.

    • @JoeyJ0J0
      @JoeyJ0J0 4 роки тому +13

      It's literally both

    • @cometkite
      @cometkite 4 роки тому +11

      The second story was actually a re-edited version of a horror film by the same director, plagiarized from a Steven King story.

    • @amandawilcox9638
      @amandawilcox9638 4 роки тому +5

      @@cometkite Which was a riff on a Ray Bradbury story before it. Monkeys must = Klowns today. Or not.

    • @HylianFox3
      @HylianFox3 4 роки тому +10

      @@cometkite True, but even the original story with the columnist and spellbook is pretty grim for a what at first seems like a whimsical kid's film

  • @Nixel85
    @Nixel85 13 років тому +9

    "There's something else Satan created: Japanimation"
    ....you're welcome"

  • @MrTurbowhitey
    @MrTurbowhitey 9 років тому +93

    who else sings along with the theme every time you hear it.

    • @GenericBrand-TM
      @GenericBrand-TM 9 років тому +6

      +MrTurbowhitey everyone that cares enough to watch it in the first place :D

    • @Brennna
      @Brennna 8 років тому

      +MrTurbowhitey I only sing with the original.

    • @sccrash420
      @sccrash420 8 років тому +4

      Hi Ted Scheckler

    • @mrcritical6751
      @mrcritical6751 8 років тому +1

      +Brenna J so you mean the one from the KTMA era

    • @Teajryan
      @Teajryan 8 років тому +1

      I'm Earl Shived, and I'll paint any car for $99.95

  • @Imawizardbro
    @Imawizardbro 13 років тому +5

    "It's nothing more then a rock"
    "Like your womb"
    LMFAO...

  • @patrickwheeler7540
    @patrickwheeler7540 9 років тому +14

    "dad is so going into the corn field" great riff

  • @TheNintendhoe
    @TheNintendhoe 4 роки тому +10

    Merlin went from being King Arthur's right-hand man to a curio store owner.
    Great career move!

  • @1Hol1Tiger
    @1Hol1Tiger 5 років тому +21

    I feel sorry for the actor playing Merlin, he legitimately plays the role well and brings a sense of wonder to every line he delivers, I absolutely adore his performance....
    Too bad it was wasted on something highly inappropriate for the age group it was marketed to.

    • @GeraldM_inNC
      @GeraldM_inNC Рік тому +2

      Borgnine was a great actor.

    • @mrcritical6751
      @mrcritical6751 Рік тому +3

      Apparently the Merlin actor was completely unaware of what the movie really was like the poor bastard

    • @1Hol1Tiger
      @1Hol1Tiger Рік тому +2

      @@mrcritical6751 That sadly tracks.

  • @notafeminist4298
    @notafeminist4298 7 років тому +32

    I'm going to hit the mystical can.

  • @korryna6836
    @korryna6836 2 роки тому +2

    I joke that this movie manifested my dog, when I watched it I thought Sparkle was a really cute name and the dog was pretty, I thought "if I had a dog I'd want one like that and I'd name it Sparkle". Never had a dog before so it was only a passing thought, but a month or two later a similar brown and white puppy shows up at our house (realistically was dumped 😥). Considered the name Sparkle without realizing why at first but chose a different name, but I want to thank Merlin, mst3k, and the uploader for magically speaking the best doggo into existence lol

  • @acmelka
    @acmelka Рік тому +4

    RIP Ernest Borgnine. My uncle tried to blackmail him in the 1970s....went to jail for it too. Dumb plan no one wanted toilet cam pics of Ernie.

  • @soosquatch4236
    @soosquatch4236 Рік тому +1

    The "you're welcome" gag gets me every time!

  • @SuperMarkerComicBro
    @SuperMarkerComicBro 12 років тому +5

    This is actually my first episode of MST3K and, I gotta say, these guys are pretty funny!

  • @pitturbanlegend
    @pitturbanlegend 11 років тому +3

    I laughed for an hour and a half thank you, I need these classics after hard days work

  • @Jackie-McCann
    @Jackie-McCann 12 років тому +14

    RIP Ernest...

  • @fucktardmst3kfan144
    @fucktardmst3kfan144 8 років тому +24

    I gotta go! They just got Barb Wire at Blockbuster!

  • @emmyarellano3704
    @emmyarellano3704 5 років тому +5

    "Tell the other monkey percussionists I love them..." that shit cracks me up every time!😄

  • @EvenTheDogAgrees
    @EvenTheDogAgrees 2 роки тому +5

    1:06:52: "And she, being sensitive in that area"... Oh boy, what a wasted opportunity on behalf of Mike and the bots... 😂