Mitski - A Pearl (Official Video)
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- Опубліковано 30 січ 2019
- "A Pearl" from the album Be the Cowboy by Mitski.
Listen to Be the Cowboy:
mitski.ffm.to/bethecowboy
The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We out now.
Listen + order: mitski.lnk.to/TLIIASAW
Find a Mitski tour date near you. If tickets aren't available, join the waitlist: mitski.com/tour
Credits:
Made at Art Camp.
Directed by Saad Moosajee and Art Camp
Co-Directed by Danae Gosset
Designed by Saad Moosajee and Danae Gosset
3D Animation by Saad Moosajee
Cel Animation by Danae Gosset
Technical Direction by James Bartolozzi
Junior Designer Eugene Lee
Mitski: mitski.com/
Facebook: / mitskileaks
Instagram: / mitskileaks
Store: mitski.com/collections/all
Tour Dates: mitski.com/pages/tour
Lyrics:
You're growing tired of me
You love me so hard and I still can't sleep
You're growing tired of me
And all the things I don't talk about
Sorry, I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry, I can't take your touch
It's just that I fell in love with a war
Nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around every night
Just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go
Sorry, I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry, I can't take your touch
There's a hole that you fill
You fill, you fill
But it's just that I fell in love with a war
And nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around every night
Just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go
Just to watch it glow
#mitski #apearl #bethecowboy
Mitski's new album 'The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We', featuring the song "My Love Mine All Mine" is out now. Watch the music video: ua-cam.com/video/vx4kLgnFexo/v-deo.html
Listen to the album: mitski.lnk.to/TLIIASAW
ilysm
Girlllll, my washing machine was your signature and now my pearl necklace is💀💀💀
Btw can you come to USA for concert some time in ur life?
Te amo mistki tu siempre me entendiste a la perfección 😢
Te admiro muito ❤️
I’d die for this woman
@ohekay k marry me then lol
ayyy when's the marriage
i would die for u too cool kid
lets be honest everyone would die for cool kid
@ohekay oml good for u ig
Her voice has a strange kind of anguish that's strangely comforting
thank you
fr tho also is that a bjork pfp?
IKR
RIGHT
i actually died at 1:56 with her switching into her head voice, i can't
Fun fact: When a clam has an irritation in it’s beak, it covers the irritating substance with layers, creating a pearl. Humans adore pearls for their beauty on the outside when it had a problem on the inside. Therefore they basically adore an issue that is covered in polishing layers. Just proof humans have always fallen for wars. They just aren’t aware because of how sugarcoated it is
wow wow
You’re like the smart ass kids in my honors class (this is a compliment you’re hella perspective for this) love it ❤
You could also say that Humans appreciate pretty Lies more than the ugly truth behind them. And they will start Wars for those Lies.
Ohhhh I was wondering why pearls at first lol, thank you so much!!! It makes more sense now!!
Underrated comment
As a male victim of domestic violence and extreme abuse for nearly 10 years in my first romantic relationship this song resonates a lot with me. Men are expected to be stoic so my difficulty with vulnerability/trust usually goes unnoticed but most of the partners I've been with since then have a hard time understanding why I get very panicky and avoidant any time there's conflict or stress at home. I've tried to explain but usually just get told "you talk about -that ex- too much" or "well I'm not like her so...". When you've spent half your life always walking on eggshells and just waiting for all hell to break loose that anxiety sticks with you, I can't just let it go. The coping mechanisms and behaviors that helped me survive that are deeply rooted in my psyche. Healing takes time, and I was in that relationship for longer than I've been out, so far. I just wish I could get my current GF to understand that my trauma isn't her fault but my hypervigilance and anxiety aren't things I can just turn off.
I really hope that you can get over it and for everybody that thinks it’s an easy task I can tel you from a personal point of view that’s it’s not.
Good luck to anybody, male or female.(sorry for my language I don’t speak very well)
I really hope you can unlearn all of this in some way. It's such a bummer how some people screw up for other who don't deserve it.
I just hope it doesn't happen like that for you.
You didn't deserve for someone to screw you over, and you don't deserve to suffer from it either.
I knew my bf was a keeper when he accepted I have PTSD _and_ changed his behavior to avoid triggering me (he's smol so he walks very quietly, which would result in him inadvertently sneaking up behind me, saying something, and me immediately freaking out. Now he makes sure to walk in a way that I hear him if he's coming up behind me). He changed because he thinks I'm worth it. If your gf doesn't think you're worth changing for, that's on her-don't waste your time and emotions trying to force someone to understand something they don't care enough to understand. There are so many people out there; maybe one is waiting for you right now?
Thank you for sharing. A lifetime of abuse from my parents led to poor relationships that I couldn't communicate in. I feel for you. Sending lots of love and growth
You deserve someone who will be patient with you. I’m so sorry you’ve been through that.
Everyones always like "omg they listen to mitski are they okay?" And never "shit man MITSKI ARE *YOU* OKAY?"
Exactly
Fr like is she ok like her songs go so hard and relate to them so much but what has she gone through is the real question
nah but fr.
666 like feeling special 😍
AS AN AVID MITSKI ENJOYER, I ALWAYS WONDER HOW SHE'S DOING BAHAHAHAHAA
Therapy: expensive
A Pearl by Mitski on repeat: free
internet inst free
Good point, good point
@@gabsny 😘 therapy is expensive and i am too introverted to talk to someone irl
@@gabsny just download it, it ain't that hard
Rel
i hate that people always assume that if you listen to mitski that your depressed or your sad cuz of the music but like HER MUSIC IS FRICKING AMAZING THE WAY ITS WRITTEN THE WAY SHE SINGS IT AND PORTRAYS HER LYRICS ARE AWESOME AND HER VOICE ASWELL all of it is just so beautiful you can't help but want to cry not even when im sad i love her music
@@Whats.Next.Videos i hate miserable people who need to criticise everything
@@Whats.Next.Videoscan you stfu y’all get mad about anything
si estoy deprimido pero no por eso escucho mitski
FR (I'm depressed)
FINALLY! Someone who gets it
You're growing tired of me
You love me so hard and I still can't sleep
You're growing tired of me
And all the things I don't talk about
Sorry, I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry, I can't take your touch
It's just that I fell in love with a war
Nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around every night
Just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go
Sorry, I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry, I can't take your touch
There's a hole that you fill
You fill, you fill
But it's just that I fell in love with a war
And nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around every night
Just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go
Just to watch it glow
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Laycock Mitsuki / Mitski
thank you
Lay cock
Thx
That's lyrics made me cry, not kidding
I love how this song ended up becoming the perfect soundtrack to everyone’s own personal story even though each story has no relation to the others??? somehow this fit everyone’s memories even if there’s no connection or similarity???
that’s what’s so wonderful about music :)
thats what art does
i see you with that gfriend crossroads pfp
@@lilaciiaa yes !!!! lol i ult gfriend
@@julialovesgfriend same girll !
i can’t believe mitski invented the human race
nah she would've did better
I can't believe that mitski invented existence
Remember when she caused the big bang that was crazy
Fr ‼️
she invented organisms
isn't it crazy how kinda everyone here can relate to this song, despite not being connected or anything? hearing the "sorry I can't take your touch" makes me remember my inability to handle affection, and "I fell in love with a war nobody told me had ended" is just the love I had for romance concepts and for the idea of dating and having a partner before I realised I don't experience romantic attraction. the fact that I am left behind, not able to conventionally date or anything because I just can't. the fact that i still adore the idea of being loved, but not the same as everyone else around me, and the idea of someone in love.
@deagleninja I don't think it's narcissism, I think it's more consuming a piece of media that is so versatile and so deep in a lot of ways that it speaks to a lot of people on a personal level
@@Whats.Next.Videos sorry but the concept of being a narcissist has been so watered down by stuff like this, and it's a bit exhausting. enjoying a piece of media and relating to it isn't narcissism, it's the ability your brain has to link things together, specially if you find it hard to articulate such feelings or struggle finding them represented elsewhere. i feel like this person was talking about being aromantic (or at least that's how it is in my case, and how it sounded, please excuse me for assuming if it isn't).
art is half what the artist intended to express and put into it, and half what people who witness it make out of it. interpretation is a huge part of it, and it's not narcissism to interpret a subjective media in your own subjective way. feeling and attaching experiences to it is what makes us humans, what makes the most out of art.
i'm not saying you can't enjoy stuff simply because you find them cool, i do that as well as basically everyone, and i think i get what you're saying, but i don't know if it's the wording or your actual intention, but leaving a comment like that under someone saying they found their own, deeper meaning that makes them feel seen, plus appreciating the versatility of this kind of writing, just seems a bit iffy.
omg sorry for writing so much.
me but as asexual
of course its narcissism ,how do you think all art is created stupid @@Whats.Next.Videos
@@Whats.Next.VideosIt's not narcissism, Mitski makes all her songs metaphors so people can use them for most situations they are going through. It's truly art!!!
I think of this song as falling deeply in love with someone who is not stable. Someone who needs to get themself together before dating another person, yet they can't see it. It reminds me of my Momma and how she stayed married to an alcoholic for over a decade because she did not want to let go. She fell in love with him, but he wasn't in the place to properly love her back. My Papa has his own issues. There is a war inside his head and my mom was the woman who was the victim of it.
Well a similar situation to mine but with a twist, which is that I wasn't completely OK myself...in recovery mode right now and working on getting better and over my last relationship which was very important to me...unfortunately in a way...
@@christelle8572 I wish you well on your recovery journey. It's a hard road but you can do it. I'm glad you are getting help
En términos de eso, yo soy la persona inestable 🤡
why cope with the damage from your toxic relationships and your messed up relationship with physical and emotional intimacy when you can listen to a pearl by mitski and get the exact same catharsis
This but amplified by 100
yes ❤
I feel seen
erase this comment. it attacked me. ✋😐
mitski=therapy
in another episode of "i feel related to this song but i think my trauma is not that bad so i start invalidating myself which makes me feel more anguish"
exaaaactly thanks for expressing it in words
why is this me
Yes these are the words I'm looking for
you got me 💀✋️
Ayyyy **fingerguns**
“It’s just that I fell in love with a war, and nobody told me it ended” makes me think of caring deeply for someone who is emotionally unavailable and only sees you as a second option, while still hanging onto them feels like a fight and you never seemed to process how horrible they were to you, and how disgusting the things they may have said were. “It left a pearl in my hand and I rolled it around” kind of feels like all the horrible things they said leaving one big mess of self hatred and being left to work through that on your own.
brodie nobody cares go outside🤣🤣‼️
I knowww I maaay be 8 months late but don't mind the idiot above me because I care
1:39 this part of the song literally takes me to a different dimension
"there's a hole that you fill,
you fill, you fill.."
EVERYBODY SAY THANK YOU MITSKI
THANK YOU MITSKI
THANK YOU MITSKI
THANK YOU MITSKI
THANK YOU MITSKI
THANK YOU MITSKI
It took me 18 years to realize I was suffering from PTSD. That me hating being touched wasn't natural. That having anxiety attacks when someone touches me the wrong way wasn't part of the normal human experience. I don't know what happened, my mind keeps me from remembering. But this song perfectly explains what I feel. With people my age it's easier, but I'm still not comfortable with most physical intimacy beyond a hug, even though I want more. I can't stop thinking about my trauma either, finally putting the pieces together of all my weird unexplainable tendencies about being around people. This song is able to explain what I can't
I hope you pull through. ❤
My dad is an army vet and it's been over 15 years and he still struggles with PTSD and it is no joke we people know have committed suicide because of it I feel for you bro I hope and pray you'll heal from the mental wounds of war
I hope you can heal with time, youre not alone 💖
Wait.....this is me......
I feel you there! I also have ptsd and I even though I crave physical affection, I legit can't handle being touched, especially after being exposed to something relating to that thing. It sucks complete ass, but I hope you remember one day and find yourself being able to recover.
I believe that the most powerful part of the song is the bridge ( *(**1:11**) to (**2:19**)* ) the horns, the loudness of the song increasing, Mitsuki’s voice echoing in the background, and even the fucking MV itself which makes *“A Pearl”* by Mitsuki so good and listenable in the first place. Mitsuki taking W’s as usual.
It is not a part, it is half of the song😅
I need a one hour version of this -,-
I need an 8 hour version of this so I can just play it on repeat for the entire school day
You can loop it by right clicking in the middle and selecting loop, then it can last infinite hours, in theory
A way I interpret "I fell in love with a war, and nobody told me it ended" is that when someone experiences trauma for such a long period of time and finally gets out of whatever situation they were in, it is so hard knowing that you're safe and out of it, you just need that one person to tell you it's over, it ended, but no one is there to tell you that you're finally okay.
i agree!! this was written perfectly
I agree, i had been sexu4l assaulted, and the fact that my predators are living in peace in their houses, with their families, while I'm struggling with flashbacks, anger and sadness everytime i can remember, I can't have normal relationships cause I'm so afraid to someone could touch me and hurt me, but again, that was years ago, and I'm the only one who is stucked in the past, living my own war i have created in my mind and it feels so endless i could cry for hours.
So.. yeah. Agreed with your teory
@@ro_ro22 I’m so sorry that happened to you, I hope you are doing well now.
@@v3nuss129 thanks for the kind comment v3nuss, best wishes for you too
YES THIS
Incredible
I have been binging your channel for hours today lmao this is so weird
I'm honestly so surprised to see you here
Hey.. Ik u
Woah didn't think you'd be a Mitski fan
hey look its you
This is not music..... It is art
Music is art my love. That is why it’s called music artist.
REAL
true
@@tallesdelreyx So much more.
For me this song portrays the feeling of being deeply in love with someone who "saved" you from past trauma but despite how much they complete you it still is hard to open up, and having to watch as your lover distances themselves and falls out of love.
mitski, i have decided to take your advice and be the cowboy.
however, i cannot stop saying yee haw. it's been 6 weeks and my friends are slowly leaving one by one.
help.
there is no help. only cowboy.
U r what I eat. Whichever friends u have left u must consume. Become ur very own friend : )
[Edit]
Actually don't do that AHDGAHFG I'M sorry I was jk ooWeEe
😆
The feelz...
You've yee'd your last haw at this point
The idea that trauma is a pearl that rolls around in your head in the night is a perfect analogy for how I would describe my own trauma. I love the imagery of all the grit and sand that I've accumulated in my head rubbing together and mixing with time becoming a pearl. Something solid and heavy that I carry.
Each molecule of sand is a different event, small and insignificant, but as it builds up, it grows into something that can't be separated from the rest of the sand and grit I have collected. It's all one pearl, and in the night I sit on my bed and look at it over and over until I am lost in its sheen.
I fucking love this song so much.
Edit:
I wrote this comment during a time when I didn't know how I was supposed to carry this pearl of trauma, and although I'm still on the journey to recovery, I have learned to live without it constantly in the forefront of my mind.
For me, acceptance is the hardest part of recovery, but I wanted you to know that you *will* recover, even if you can't see the way out.
I wrote this comment when I was too afraid to loosen my grip on the past, and would often feel too overwhelmed to do anything but stare straight into that heavy, white pearl, but I want you to understand that feeling will not last forever, and what may seem like a blinding light will fade with time and perseverance.
You worded this very gracefully
@@jonathanjoestar478 thank you :)
i’m pretty sure the lyrics r actually “and it left a pearl in my hand” and not head fhgjbnbnn
@@paloma3095 well I guess it stilll works
You explained it perfectly
Mitski is so incredibly talented she’s been my idol growing up during hard times and I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now. Mitski music is such I vibe and always will be
Also this music video is such a vibe
You can be my idol 😼😘
Fun fact:Mitski got me thru some dark times, her songs are the best !
proud of u! keep at it
the first chord of this song feels like im opening a bag of generational trauma
It hits even more on vinyl
Ouch yes
I was abused as a kid so I wanted to write about what this means to me.
Most of the meaning I feel is in the line "I fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended" to me it's as if I was treated like this my whole life and that became so normal. Nobody thought to tell me it wasn't. Hating being touched, hating showing emotions, hating everyone around me, hating affection, hating existing wasn't normal. Nobody told me.
It wasn't as if I wanted to be like that, but my entire life it was my fault. Now it's as if I've 'fallen in love' with that life and it's taking so long to unlearn it. It left me with PTSD and a number of undiagnosed disorders and mental illnesses. Now it's like there's always a place in my head where I go to find out what I did wrong, but it's also an endless cycle because I'm still trying to remember that it isn't my fault so there is nothing to find out to begin with.
I'm still trying to learn that life isn't war.
You are so strong for getting through that! The fact that you can recognize that you are in a cycle is one of the most important steps to ending it. I promise you you’re going to get better. Lots of love to you
I’m so proud of you
thank you this rlly speaks to me
I have the same experience. My family never rlly believed stuff about mental health so when I acted out a lot growing up, they thought I was just inherently a bad kid and wanted to make everyone miserable. Someone I rlly trusted who was older than me misused me when I was very little for quite a few years (I must have been somewhere btw 5-7, but I can't be sure). They were not an adult, but they did this from when they were a pre-teen to young teen, so I assume they should have known better by then. They were very close to the family and still are so I cannot tell anyone bc I feel like it will literally tear things apart. At the time, I trusted them so much that they were able to manipulate me into it, so I didn't consider it rape. But I had all these feelings I shouldn't have had at a very young age and didn't know how to deal with them, and I think that caused me lot of frustration. I blocked it out for so many years, but for some reason, during a rough semester in college, I suddenly remembered all at once and I felt as though the world around me was crashing when I realized what rlly happened and why I had been so angry and depressed for so much of my life (along with other things like bullying from a young age and very harsh physical discipline). Since then, my mind has felt like a whirlwind. It's so sad bc that person is a good person now, but they never admitted what they did and I am afraid to bring it up. All I know is it's very hard for me to trust, and the thought of getting intimate, although desirable, also brings up great fear and anxiety. I don't see them very often anymore but it makes me sad that I feel my heart drop anytime I'm around this person I care about. The relationship will never be the same.
@@anonymouse7773 i feel very sorry.. that's horrible. you're really brave to share this. i hope everything will be alright. just know, it was never your fault and never will. you worth so much love and i hope that one day it will be easier for you.. take care :(💓
I genuinely love that Mitski and her music make people so comfortable like all the people venting. Mitski’s songs are so calming and I love that people feel open to vent when it comes to her.
“There is a hole that you fill” As in, we cope in a negative way in order to fill that void that’s created because of trauma. i think this song makes it seem like we end up “liking” our trauma responses because we find comfort in nothing else or are too scared to go through the process of getting better.
fun fact: mitski ACTUALLY created pearls
she created universe bc she was bored 💪🏻
@@malachaibarreto all hail mitski
The Moriarty Patriot pfp yes and I agree
no she created the ocean
She created everything
I love how everyone has a different (though similar) interpretation of this song. For me, it's someone apologizing for their unhealthy coping mechanisms left over by their trauma yet being unable to let go of them. I probably am just projecting way too much, but this song still makes me tear up
Same Im crying to this song rn 😭
For me, its her relationship that she get traumatised thats why she said i roll it around every night" for me that meant him and the memories and so whatev :D
Bro same
For me it reminded me of how I can't do normal things that a couple would do like touch and I can't really show affection towards my partners because of trauma. And then the "I fell in love with a war" and "it left a pearl in my head" is me not being able to recover from said trauma and blaming myself, when it was not my fault. It's just what this song has always reminded me of but I still love it.
For me it’s a toxic friendship “sorry I don’t want your touch, it’s not that don’t want you” wanting to cut them off but not being able too because you’re too attached “I fell in love with a war” is I fell in love because u guys r friends but with a war because it’s toxic “it left a pearl in my head and I roll it around every night” represents all the memories, good or bad is based on how I feel while listening
What I love about mitski is that I don’t have to fall in love with her personality or her looks in order to fall in love with her. All I need to do is listen to a song. I didn’t even know what she looked like or acted like until after I pretty much listened to her religiously. When someone genuinely falls in love with your art like that, then consider yourself talented.
This is probably not the most accurate meaning of the song, but to me it really sounds like being a neurodivergent person in a relationship with someone who just don't seem to understand it. The "i fell in love with a war" practically summons it for me, like you're fighting against your inner demons so much it feels like you're getting addicted to it
These are the visuals that this song deserved. Dare I say: *iconique*
somehow i don't feel this is the song the visuals deserved though
@@xadisembodiedvoice You leave that auditory masterpiece alone
penalcrack don’t threaten me with a good time
penalcrack ditto
@penalcrack can't wait
The "I fell in love with a war nobody told me had ended" perfectly portays the sort of anger and rage you get from past trauma that's already been done and over with for years(if that makes sense). I absolutely love that about this song, personally for me that's my mother's death and her childhood with it, something that's been over with for years but still keeps a little flame burning inside of me. For me the "I fell on love with a war" means sort of learning to cope with the anger, but it soon turning into pleasure. Like when you start to enjoy the rage, the anger, the adrenaline, etc. It's unhealthy, really, but you don't really care in the moment. You need to find a reason to be angry at everyone all the time for your own satisfaction. The kind of rage you always see in horror movies when the victim finally starts to beat up the murderer, the yearn for revenge. The anger building up to where you can just let it all out without mercy, and feel absolutely amazing about it. The sort of trauma that makes you obsessed with the idea of going to war, fighting, arguing, etc. Sorry this was so poorly written, I just needed to talk about this with someone lol
It's okay. I feel the exact same rhing too, I always thought it was scary and painful but it's normal to feel that way escpacially when you weren't allowed to get mad for a long time. You're not alone
omg u couldnt have said it better
You beautifully worded that. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I think I like to argue now because I can finally speak up for myself now that I'm older. I was always dismissed and yelled at as a kid. So now it's feels great to finally get it all out.
I feel the exact same way. My trauma is from multiple abusers but mitski always manages to bring out that deep yearning sense of revenge and anger and sadness buried deeply inside of me.
How do you feel that THOUSANDS of people could be crying to your music right now..? Amazing right.. you’re so powerful, mitski mitski
I like how Mitski is poetic with her songs the lyrics hit deep every time
The worst part about this song is that it ends
And nobody told me it ended~
I LOVE MITSKI AHHHH😭
@@isabelle9812 SAME
@@riahdoesyoutube22
OMG THATS SO COOL
@@riahdoesyoutube22 People who listen to mitski>>>
gonna go listen to this in a public bathroom and cry
Bless
@@swelldays7970 truly
HONESTLY,yeah. This encapsulates her music perfectly. It just hurts SO GOOD.
took the words right out of my ass
Same
My interpretation for this song is a toxic relationship or friendship in which the friend or partner does not understand the pain of the person, and the person desperately wants and needs someone to understand their anger and sadness but no one does so thats the first part for.
Second interpretation, is about my oc. A young boy who was sexually assaulted for years and years by a parent and was a minor that prostrated. But he got saved, and found a friend. He wanted to express his feelings of sadness and how hard it was for him to get a friend, but he doesnt want to stress out the friend with his problems; ‘you’re growing tired of me - and all the things i dont talk about’. After all the years sexual assault, he still cannot take touch of his friend, who has becomen his partner. ‘Sorry i dont want your touch - its not than i dont want you.’ And even though he has been saved, he still doesn’t understand the assault against him has ended, and that he finally got his peace. ‘I fell inlove with a war, nobody told me it ended’
PS, inspired both these ocs on my own feelings
Shoutout to Mitski for packing so much into less than 3 minutes of music. She doesn't waste your time, she just gets to it.
this!!! critics might complain about length but it doesn't really matter because the songs are way more memorable this way
ya'll ever just blast Mitski whenever you're on the verge of a breakdown or is it just me
You caught me red handed
shhhhh...
Me littersly Rn I've been listening for 40mins and I have online classes now 💀
This song especially
Really gets all the bottled up emotions out
Sends chills down my spine everytime
This woman is incapable of writing a bad song.
This song is actually..really telling of what it's like to live with PTSD from interpersonal relationship related trauma, and maybe other traumas but I can only speak for mine. There are so many things you can't talk about or you go vacant and lost in the bad place, but a lot of those things and boundaries are important to go over in a relationship and you want to, have to, but you don't want to get lost treading those deep grooves in your mind, paths already over tread.. You do want closeness, to be loved but you can't always be touched, living with a war in your head that you tell over and over to stop but it never stops, and you turn the pearl over and over, it glints in your mind so brightly that you can't see outside of it.. And you want to be normal, lovable, touchable and more than anything you want to be present.
i absolutely feel this as well. intimacy is such a complicated feeling and this is especially true of trauma survivors, particularly trauma around intimacy.
I came here to see if anyone had a similar experience with this song :') thanks for reaffirming that.
Well said. Things do get easier.
I've been wondering why I've been listening to this over and over and this is why things are finally coming together. It can be so hard to open up again after harm
I agree with this and it makes me feel the most understood.
[Verse 1]
You're growing tired of me
You love me so hard and I still can't sleep
You're growing tired of me
And all the things I don't talk about
[Refrain]
Sorry I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry I can't take your touch
[Chorus]
It's just that I fell in love with a war
Nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around
Every night, just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go
[Refrain]
Sorry I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry I can't take your touch
[Bridge]
There's a hole that you fill
You fill, you fill
[Chorus]
But it's just that I fell in love with a war
And nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around
Every night, just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go
Just to watch it glow
Al-Lat i always thought it said “it’s just that I fell in love with a wolf” but yes this makes much more sense
Today I learned that she is not exactly saying "I fell in love with a woman"
Thank you, so so much.
And I thought it was “I fell in love with a worm”
Beautifully written and rewritten, thank-you.
WHAT IS THAT MELODY??😍
This is one of my fav vent songs, i am su upset rn nd i know ost of yalls dont care nd are just here for this song but i thought that id vent cus yk wht strangers relate more to us than people we know, my parents r separated nd earlier i went to meet my father, i ws late nd he ws mad, nd guess what IT HAS BEEN MONTHS SINCE WEVE MET ND ALL HE DOES IS GET MAD ND DIDNT EVEN TELL ME HE MISSED ME OR ASK ME HOW I WAS, we went to eat nd all he did ws get mad like basicly the whole time he ws literally mad nd didnt show any affection at all, im so done he literally grew up w/o a father nd he knows how it feels so he should not be doing that. but anyways the whole literal time i ws w him i was tryong so hard not to rage, cry, scream, and breakdown on the spot.
I work in art animation and this animation must've taken so longgggg... woah
My friend animated the underlying cgi portion while an artist rotoscoped over the top. They been working on this forever
@@alexkieslingart really?? let them know we think it's a beautiful mv
Ikr jesus
Bless your friend 😭💖
@@swelldays7970 Will do!!
WHY ARENT WE TALKING ABOUT THE ART IN THIS VIDEO ITS SO MF GOOD
Fr
It's making me feel things
As a kid I use to believe the quote "true love" my first love was from freshmen year, he took me to dinner and we go to the movie theater together, it was all perfect until he manipulated me into believing him that he has DID which he never had, he says that as an excuse for me to do some dirty things with him. we broke up before summer break ended, he still lies to other girls for the do and I carried these trust issues for 4 years. Out of the others I dated after him, I've been stepping back with the physical touch and words that were from my first ex. This song brings so much relation that do nothing about my trauma while being there for others that went through the same as me or for someone that is always there for me. I'm trying my best to leave that behind now that I'm happier with my partner for almost 9 month.
I will do my best to look on the positive side for a while in 2023
i am absolutely addicted to this song
im a survivor of years of csa, it started when i was about 3 and went on till i was about 6 or 7. i have such conflicting feelings about it because he told me constabtly that he was doing it because he genuinely loved me, and now i cant move on properly. i hate him, he ruined my life and now i cant love anyone without fear and wihtout really extreme attachment issues, now i purposely look for the worst in everyone. i sort of mentally "dissapeared" for years and when i finally came back my body is 18, he doesnt like me anymore because im not a child and he has a girlfriend. i know he is a disgusting monster but i cant help but feel jealous and angry.
i love this song because i literally did fall in love with a war, and he literally has left a pearl in my head and i cant let it go, i cant heal, i cant move on and it is killing me.
- Myla (the jester system)
Fun fact: *Mitski invented depression then cured it*
Frfr
bcs mitski god
She invented the Universe and created emotions like Empathy, Pity, Depression, and Sorrow, then with her beautiful voice and beautiful sight, she cured those emotions
@@L0V3_V /srs mitski 4ever
@@L0V3_V pm moio moo
this song reminds me so much of my relationship with my mom I hate her so much for the emotional abuse but at the same time I wanna be wrapped hugging her her with all my love.
SAMEEEE 😩 THATS HOW
Same
Same, I wish i could tell my mom how much her fucking verbal and emotional abuse hurt, like a fucking mack truck, like fuck why are you so evil? But at the same time I just want to hug her so so tight and tell her I love her.
I can relate to that, after she and my dad got divorced she started to manipulate and verbally abuse me. Thankfully it kinda dyed down when we moved but it still sticks to me and stopped opening my feelings to her, since she either sees it as a laughing matter or tells me to cut the crap since her life was "horrible" than mine when she was my age(which I understand) but that's no excuse to invalidate about my feelings and how I mentally feel. At the end of the day, I still give two shits about my mom because I lived with her for almost my whole life
@@tcb7119 I’m glad we can relate so well the verbal and emotional abuse is real :(
As a person with touch aversion due to trauma...I sent this to my girlfriend. I can't take her touch for too long, otherwise my anxiety spikes and my fight or flight goes into overdrive...
This song conveys it almost perfectly...
Wow similar situation. Which is why the book All My Rage resonated as much as this song. Never felt so seen. Hope things are well with you
I love how most of mitski's fans can agree this song is so representative and hit a little too close to home for us
i know it’s kind of a running gag that the gays love mitski but honestly this song really encapsulates what being gay feels like for me. having fought with myself for feeling the way i feel, listening to offhand homophobic comments from my parents, constantly hiding and suppressing my feelings...
and then one day i move out, i start a new life, i can reinvent myself, i am finally free....but it’s all not as easy as i thought. all these experiences have left a mark on me, have fundamentally changed who i am and i find myself struggling to love.
i love this song so much and it has helped me a lot to reflect on all that.
bananaphobe you worded that so beautifully. i feel the same with being in the closet from people who have been in my life forever. it should be freeing to finally be rid of that burden but its still hard because it changed who you were and what your experiences have been. this song is so important to so many people.
This comment hit so hard
I hope you find happiness, dude.
🌻💙🌻💙🌻💙🌻💙🌻💙🌻
bananaphobe I’m not even gay and I felt this
Luanda Rego hope you get better and be safe friend
I'm not sure this is right, but I think that the part about the "pearl in my head" part. Is about how there was a memory that was left inside her head. that constantly irritated her, for a pearl is formed when a spec of sand or any object gets lodged into an oyster or an animal of that sort. and the tissue around it gets irritated and the problem slowly gets bigger and bigger, because the tissue oozes out the chemical that rounds it out. So I think this song is about a memory that happened and it slowly irritates her until it becomes bearable.
Edit: the memory could be about a war with herself, or an actual war between two parties, from the lyrics.
theres not right or wrong with interpreting art
I love it when people analyze songs 🙇 thank you
I think it’s hand not head
@@samthebaddie Go read the lyrics off the internet. It’s head
That too, and her clit 😂
mitski is love, mitski cures depression
theres a hole that you fill, you fill the void i have, mitski
HOLY MOLY that was??????? I'm speechless??????? Incredible,,,, the animation was so smooth and there were barely any cuts,,,, plus the use of color.., i???? M crying?????
literally INVENTED animation
the end really got me when she was falling.....mmm incrediblely smooth i cried a little bit
THE WAY IT PLAYED WITH DIFFERENT AMOUNTS OF REALISM AND ABSTRACTION
mitski on this song -
I think what's more surprising to me is when you're OK - but you're not used to being OK, and when you've been unhappy for so long that being unhappy is your norm and what you're uncomfortable with - so when you're not unhappy, when you're finally fine, you don't know what to do with yourself. You repeat self-destructive behaviours because it's what you know, it's what you feel you deserve and what you're comfortable with. If it's just your life then you can be as self-destructive as you want, but what makes it complicated is if you have someone else in your life who cares about you, if you're in a relationship, and you're supposed to be fine and you have someone asking about you and caring about you, but you just can't stop being unhappy, because being unhappy is what you want. That feeling of someone else being involved in your wellbeing, and not being able to be well for them.
yessss
omg this
this fits me so.... well?
this is how i felt when my crush told me he was inlove with me too
Relatable
For me, this song is about eating disorders and maybe recovery. She talks about how she doesn’t want the person in front of hers touch because maybe she feels like she hasn’t fully recovered or maybe she is not the perfect version of herself she wanted to be. And ed’s really do feel like falling in love with a war because you are destroying yourself but you are getting a sick appreciation from it and the thing is sometimes it feels like it’s a personality trait. The work that goes into carrying out the ed fills a hole in someone’s life. Makes one distract themselves from other issues and focuses on their eating&physical appearance. It’s kind of like a really really unhealthy coping mechanism/self destruction. And I think she has talked about ed’s in other songs like real men for example. And it was so long ago and throughout the process of recovery one does “roll the pearl around every night”, thinks about going back or thinks about how everything used to feel. Idk I think it’s about choosing recovery but still being effected by years and years of bad habits of an eating disorder.
u get it twin 🤞🥲
TW SA(?) “sorry i dont want your touch” and “sorry i cant take your touch” hit so deep as a SA victim its just something that i cant get over rven if i trust the person touching me and it hurts the people that love me but i cant get over the feeling of my skin crawling and hands i dont want over me
My god this music reaches to my heart rips it out gives it a kiss and gently puts it back
My god that was a poetic comment and an eternal mood
I felt this
*another damaged people anthem, thank you*
.
Who needs therapy when you can listen to a pearl by mitski on loop 🤡
This is one of the best videoclips that i've ever seen, what a piece of art
I totally love how it goes in a cycle. She ends right back at the beginning. I think that's a perfect way to describe this song, with wanting to move on but you've been unstable for so long you don't know how to exist in normalcy. So you just keep going back to what you know, even though you know it's bad. God I love Mitski!!💕
I never noticed that. Great observation
Wow, I could never grow tired of mitski
A masterpiece.
mitski te amo
“left a pearl in my head and i roll it around every night to watch it glow” i wish i could’ve heard this song earlier, it’s made me realize so much. having to deal with constant pain and trauma everyday was me rolling the pearl everyday, what a curse to feel n experience so much at such a young age but in a way it’s made me who i am today and i used to b so ashamed of being a “victim” it felt like it didn’t even matter, felt so normal, nobody really ever understood, not me not my ex not anyone. falling in love did feel like a war and when it ended it’s like all the time i spent with this person came to haunt me, all the trauma he left me all the trauma my abuser left me all the trauma my family left me. i will always cherish this song and love mitski for it because it truly is something not many artists write about but this one here really hit home and i hope anyone who could relate to me knows they aren’t alone and time will pass, ur not hard to love and u will find that love one day. don’t give up :(
i'm crying your comment..i hope you're doing okay you deserve happiness
@@someonewholovesanime4747 thank you sweetheart, it’s been a whole year since i wrote this, healing isn’t linear but time has been my friend throughout this all but ty for ur kind words i appreciate them a lot & for reading my cringe words hahaha, hope u have a good day : “)
I hope you are okay now
Don't make me cry on the bus
The way this fits with Pearl and Rose 😢
mitski i really love you so much
all hail mitski
YES.
IT'S JUST THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH A WORM
wormsexual
Imagine fucking a worm
Arctic Ice I- JAUSYSYGEVEHD U JUST MADE MY FRICKING DAY
@@justmart4455 hey, my relationship with my worm, bill is very real >:(
@@justmart4455...😀 i’d rather not.
this is definitely my favorite mitski song
Sending love
nobody cares bru
@@KingOfSpar1 I care, stfu and leave.
@@polarsprout calm down fatty
YEAH EXACTLY!!!!!!!
"I feel in love with nobody told me it ended " i was sexually abused two times in my life. It defined my relantionship with other people forever. Sometimes people say I am too cold and I rarely touched my first boyfriend, but I was scared.
This is what this song is about to me.
There’s something about the surreal-ness about the music video. The camera angles, to the textures and the events. It’s so abyss like, A never ending plane, doors opening to new and complicated areas. The feeling of being tossed the loss of being stable, What’s so beautiful about it is that she still gets up and walks to wherever. The representation of not being able to control anything then, Still getting up even when/if there would be another inconvenience that you have no control over.
The visuals are so breathtaking, I felt like I was in there, Flying or running away from something. I love this Mitski you are a queen!! ❤️💕💕
Sometimes artists write lyrics that are so much bigger than they even know. I don’t think she intended this song to be an anthem for abuse survivors, just from the way she talks about what the song means to her. But wow these lyric capture exactly what it’s like to be juggling PTSD from domestic abuse and a new healthy relationship.
It’s also so cool how people can relate these lyrics to their own unique life. Like I said i think she wrote something so much bigger than herself. That’s great writing.
sad gang is here and READY
🤟😢🤟
reppin gang gang
And already crying
Ready to flood the whole planet with tears🤟😭
0:55 wanda maximoff run into the mitskiverse
If mitski ever stops doing music then I stop mentally, emotionally and physically existing
anyone else falls in love with every single mitski song a little bit more every time they listen to it?
YES
Pearl is a masterpiece just like the whole Be The Cowboy album. I love you
For me this song represents being the big sister and the daughter of a toxic relationship. My dad screaming at my mom and me bringing my sister outside so she doesn’t have to hear it. The immense amount of guilt and rage built up. Not knowing what to do and thinking everything has always been your fault. Me getting to the age where I understand things better and listening to my parents scream wishing that I was far, far away. Just wanting the best for my mom. The touch part reminds me of before my dad started getting so angry and pissed. He would always Pat me on my head when he walked behind me. He’s never hit me. But there’s something about physically touch and love language that turns different after years like this. Trauma and telling mom that it’s okay and that you just want her to be happy
My interpretation of this song is: someone was waiting for something/someone that never came or just left and she doesn’t know how to get over it. I say the pearl represents the thought of that person/thing that never came just moving around her head
does anyone else hear a small snippet of the vocalizing part in her song pearl diver at around 1:40 - 1:43? if that's intentional it's quite a piece of musical genius to incorporate it into this song...I wonder if they are somehow connected
you are great! how did you notice this detail?
I'm surprised you noticed that! very smart if intentional
@@seth7929 heh must be some strange superpower /j
@@buns4days wow being praised by strangers on the internet makes me feel very good about myself heh thanks!
THATS SO COOL
this feels like a super shallow approach to the song but this really strikes a chord with me in how my anxiety and depression affect my ability to accept affection and love from other people. i’m so used to telling myself that i’m not worthy of it and i don’t deserve it and so i end up lonely but i know deep down that i’m the one who put me here. i found this song after getting out of a really toxic friendship that put me in that mindset and this song really made me feel understood and heard when nobody believed me.
I don't think that is a shallow interpretation at all! This song seems to appeal to a lot of people's different traumas and negative experiences, and it seem Mitski herself might have been singing about this. I'm glad you got out of that toxic friendship, I know it hurts in the moment but I promise it is good in the long term and you will grow a lot from this experience. Sending you good vibes❤❤
@@anonymouse7773 ❤️❤️❤️
i haven't grown tired of you. no matter how much it hurts, i think i'll be here forever. i'm not growing tired of you. i'm just tired. period.
crazy how mitski created the universe
my dad telling me mitski is making me sad when she's the only thing helping me cope with the years and continuing years of mental abuse im going through, mitski is the best mother figure i have right now.
The power that this has, the intelligence that this has, the clearance that this has, the access that this has, the influence that this has, the profile that this has, the international implications that this has, the-
1:41 this part gives me CHILLLS
nah but fr mitski literally wrote my past relationships and it's fucking scary how close I feel to it
mitski is the pearl itself
the one dislike is the clam the pearl was stolen from
BOIIIII
It's from the war mitski fell in love with
Guilty
Sometimes, when I wake up, I wonder…
*Is Mitski some kind of goddess or something?*