Hi, Great video! I’m undiagnosed but display every trait you’ve explained. I used to think I was amazing at reading non-verbal communication, however, I realized I just thought I was but often completely misinterpreted the communication & got it completely wrong which would cause a lot of issues. All of these traits hit home pretty hard.
She speaks of norms yet says she's having hard time herself with small tasks. She is burnt out her issues are not what other people think of her but what she is capable of herself. If that's even true.
@lizzypiec She speaks of norms being the issue and how she's perceived that's the issue and autis m is not something that is a disability but just another way of thinking yet clearly its causing her problems. If you watch her other videos and I'm read what I said then you know it's true. If you dontvwant to admit it then that's up to you
I'm undiagnosed and am currently on the waiting list to be evaluated, and I'm scared. Because I know that when they're going to ask me all of those questions that won't make any sense in my mind, I might not answer the right way, or know how to explain things or what I feel or don't feel. I have a few months to prepare myself mentally, take notes on paper (that I will probably lose somewhere at home) and hopefully don't back down. I'm a bit tired of being "depressed" and "anxious", or "rude" and "ungrateful". I'm happy I stumbled upon your short videos by scrolling. Made me feel less lonely. Definitely watch the other videos ! Thanks a lot !
Hi Anouki!! I wanted to try to assure you. I think you're going to do fine! I've been tested for some things before and sometimes asking you a question that you don't know how to answer or are going to find difficult to formulate an answer to, is the actual question or test. So I hope you don't stress too much about the 'right' answer - the 'honest' answer is the 'right' answer a lot of times. I will give you an example ; my therapist was testing me to see what kind of depression symptoms I had, because I reported that I've been depressed as long as I can remember and that I have 'anhedonia' (I think this is from the greek word, hedon / hedonism , or pleasure / the pursuit of pleasure - and 'an' in front means without... so anhedonia means I do not experience pleasure or joy or happiness in most instances where a normal person should) for the test, she kept asking me at different times what was my favorite _______. My favorite food, my favorite color, my favorite hobby, things like that. Which I struggled to answer or recall my favorites, sometimes I just didn't' remember having a favorite of the thing she was asking about. I had to think for a long time and I talked about what my thought process was, trying to remember my favorite food, or color, or whatever. This is something that is common with a kind of depression called dysthymia . also called 'persistent depressive disorder' : people like me can't remember their favorite things or don't have favorite things : you have to be able to connect with or remember the emotion of enjoying or liking something more than other things of its type. Thats something I don't seem to be able to do , because I don't have that feeling in most cases and in cases where I do have the feeling I just don't connect with the feeling and have to figure out what my favorite was by remembering my behavior, my choices, and comparing it to other memories to figure out what my favorite is. So , sometimes not knowing how to answer the question or needing a long time to think about it while trying to answer, is the 'right' answer for what you're being tested for and thats okay if you have trouble. Don't worry about the right answer too much with these kinds of tests ; how you answer or the challenges you have with the question is often the real thing they are looking for.
@@Astrithr glad to hear :) good luck! I don't think you'll need it though, just be honest, you've got this! I usually overthink things and ruminate on things, so sometimes I have to tell myself to stop thinking so much and just go with what feels like the first impulse answer. When I was little and first got those tests where you color in the bubble next to the answer you are choosing, I read the instructions very literally and it said to color in the circle 'BEFORE' the right answer. So if the answer was C, I colored in B. If the answer was D, I colored in C. I didn't know what to do if the answer was A though and got told no questions during the test when I tried to ask... anyway when they went to score that test they realized what I had done and asked why, I explained it says 'before the right answer' 😁😁 I got a really good score once they adjusted all the answers down by one and changed my D answers to A haha
You've got this! Just be yourself. Show your struggles. It's not a driving test, where you can fail. For mine I actually tried really hard to be myself and not give them the answers I know neuro typical people would give. The diagnosis is for you, not your mask :)
I am almost 60 YO male with a wife and family. And I am, right at this very moment, crying because I have the things you've described. No one knew this was a thing when I was a kid. I spent so many years in school thinking I was just the "dumb kid", the "weird kid", the kid that never "got it" when other people were making a face or smirking or something else non-verbal. My dyslexia is off the charts. But my OCD saved the day because I'm an INCREDIBLE programmer. Otherwise, I don't know what I would have done with my life, feeling like an outcast. Thank you for this wonderful and thorough description, and for helping the rest of the world understand it just a little better.
When I learned in a psychology class that like 80% of communication is nonverbal, I seriously cried. I knew that some communication was nonverbal but 80%?? I had always thought it was the opposite so I was actually shocked.
Ohh I remember feeling really stressed about that too when I learned it. Became very concerned about how I didn't know how to see it and didn't know how to ask how to learn about it.
i learned that in this video and didn’t think it could possibly be true because 80 percent is crazy high. (weren’t words invented for communication? why not use them???) but there are a bunch of sources that say numbers near 80, so now i’m just kinda panicking over how much i’ve missed
Somatic empathy. I had always thought that my acute awareness of other’s emotions, like a sort of “heightened” empathy, was a sign that I was not autistic. I need to rethink that. Thank you so much. This has been very helpful. Please continue to share your experiences and make content like this. It is extremely informative, and I am certain that others also find it helpful.
Same. I was also rejecting the idea of me being autistic because of the "doesn't understand sarcasm, irony and jokes" thing. Since I'm fluent at those, I use them all the time and enjoy it very much, I deemed I couldn't possibly be autistic. Now I know it's not how it works. Autistic people not so much can't understand, but struggle to INDENTIFY those. The official description of what autism is is sooo wrong. And actual autistics doing the work to demistify it all is so important.
I understand how exhausting the constant scripting can be. But in the end your videos are super easy to understand and you get across what you want to say in a very clear way. So thank you for all the effort, you are doing a great job!
I love the way you present your content, your choice of words makes it easy to understand and not overly complicated. Here because few of my close friends are autistic! Thank you for helping me understand!
I love the feedback on the way I present my content!! I’m always worried that I’m talking to fast or to low or not presenting stuff in an easily understood way. I’m so happy people enjoy it and understand it🥰🥰
@@morgaanfoley I love your pace. Actually, I'm often getting bored on youtube when content creators are making videos that are too long for the points they are going to make. Your videos are fun to watch and I'm not getting bored. Well done!
tomorrow is my first therapy hour (not related to autism), and im very nervous. you help me so much to understand myself with your content, even tho im not sure yet if im autistic or not. its such a complex thing and the overlapping symptoms make me crazy sometimes. the future will make things clear. im excited and thankful to learn more about the stuff that happens in our brain. have a beautiful day♡ and i send much love and strength to everyone struggling in any way, it wont be like that forever, i believe in you
ive always had this thing where i would copy how other people speak and basically replicate their talking 'style', i never knew this was a form of masking. Amazing video ❤❤❤
omg im so glad you were able to learn something new about yourself🥰 I constantly do it too. whoever i spend the most time with I end up talking like. my speach patters are always changing. and when i watch old videos of myself i can tell who im mimicking and i feel so cringy hahha
I’m so glad I found your videos Morgan. Being 43 this year and undiagnosed, I now understand why my whole life didn’t make sense, especially with friendships as a child and relationships with people. Thank you 🙏 and yes we need more than a part two! 😊
I'm in the same boat! I feel that weight being lifted a little more each time I learn something new about autism. It's so comforting to know I have people out there that actually understand me, even if I don't get to meet them in person.
I feel you. I'm 47 and...same. I've been crying a lot lately (since I've realized I'm probably autistic) because oh god that's what it was! And what if I found out sooner? My life wouldn't be such a mess. And how didn't any of the 3 psychiatrics and 3 therapists I've seen for YEARS get a hint?? I'm even more depressed now, but I contacted a specialist in adult ASD and I'm waiting for an appointment to get assessed. And after that, who knows
When you talked about learning your facial expressions, I just wanted to tell you to relax and forget about them for your video. I feel like I want to know the real you.
i remember i had a job at a movie theater last year, and one of my coworkers was open about them being neurodivergent. so after about a week working there, I was talking with that coworker and at one point, they said "are you neurodivergent?" and I was like "no, I dont have a diagnosis or anything like that" and they went on to explain how neurodivergent subconsciously gravitate towards each other and its like we have a radar for that kind of stuff, and they were like "well man I got some news for you." ever since then, i've been researching and listening to autistic and neurodivergent people, as well as looking back in my life at situations in which neurodivergency could be a part of the explanation why something happened, and even though I'm not professionally diagnosed, I have a strong feeling I'm autistic.
Smiling has always hurt my face, people always tell me I look aggressive when I don't make any facial expressions, even though that's just me literally just not making any expression.
I stopped your video SEVERAL times to just maniacally cackle because you perfectly described what I experienced growing up and continue to feel like. I just turned 40 and will be pushing HARD for my doctors to evaluate me to autism. I know I am, but at least the official diagnosis will help me get services and/or accommodations. Thank you for this video!
In my case, I actually hate routines, but I need them to keep my executive function and my emotional stability, it's a weird sense. I'm also a gifted person and I was very good at math at school, although it is not one of my special interests (the real ones gravitate towards environment and humanities, I'm impressed how common it is among us autistics); but social pressure led me to choose an engineering degree that I don't like and eventually took down my mental health. Ironically that set up a series of events that at the end got me diagnosed as autistic, so not everything was bad. Plus, I was able to get a master's degree in environment and social development, where I could learn and start a career in anthropology topics. I also have struggles talking, I'm quite more comfortable with written communication. When I suddenly come up with a spontaneous clever sentence at the right time while talking, subconsciously I repeat it muttering over and over, being impressed of myself. I thought everyone did that, not knowing that is a sign of echolalia.
Wow. This sounds very similar to me. I was always gifted in mathematics in school but always hated it. I also despise a routine but know that I require one to keep control of my self and keep a steady pattern. However theire is always differences. With me I had the weird side of autism as I belive I was "allistic" to a point. I remember in primary school I was ok, I had a best friend and was part of a social group, I even talked to a few groups of people. However when I started secondary school the transition of schools was extremely challenging for me as my bond's broke. My friends went to different schools so I had to try and make new ones (which did not happen). I also struggled with the pressure of going to different classrooms and interacting with several different teachers and their homework assignments. It was all to overestimating. That year I was diagnosed with the outdated term of aspergers as I was fine on paper but had trouble processing things. To me I felt like Autism was a curse. Everything I built up over my whole primary school experience was destroyed by the first year of secondary school and it was alienating being disabled when I previously was fine. Even to this day I struggle with my emotional regulation and making of friends as I feel like the system failed me. To me I feel like I'm still that allistic child who is now struggling with emotional issues and anxiety. I'm not one of them typical autistic people as I ironicly don't really have a Special interest and I feel a bit of jealousy in the community when I just want something to give me joy. That's my hot take anyways.
i love your videos (even if they’re too real) and you’ve helped me identify so many things within myself. I think it’d be really helpful and cool if you made a video on how autism affects work/school (like college & career planning) and how to accommodate yourself for them or find career or school options better suited for you. Just an idea of course! I love your videos (and your voice is so calming and comforting oml)
My special interests are Languages, litreture and reading, I have casual hobbies.. But my top passion is languages.. Sometimes people think I don't know how to enjoy my life because I prefer studying languages to playing... Thank you very much I am very happy because you help me understand myself
I can really relate to what you are saying in this video. Been trying to tell people for the past 12 years now, that I'm constantly feeling like an alien amongst humans for my entire life. Everything seems to come so naturally to them, while I am still trying to figure out the secret code to being one of them. Since about 2-3 years I'm pretty sure that I am autistic, too. Watching the videos of Paul from "Autism on the Inside" on YT were a total game changer for me. Finally, all the the things I was having trouble with for my whole life were starting to make sense to me. I haven't received an official diagnosis, yet, but my confidence is growing every day that I'm on the right track now. And the videos from content creators like yourself are helping me to come to fully understand my own situation. So thank you very much for being there for us, Morgan 😊👍🏻
when i got tested in august i was still a minor so they gave me the 40 question test they give to kids and it basically just asked if i liked trains, museums, parties, etc. needless to say, i did not get diagnosed with autism, but i still think that i'm autistic? is that offensive? it explains so much of my life both now and before, videos like these only tend to confirm my understanding, but everyone in my life besides some friends thinks that i cant be autistic because i had different stims from hand flapping and different interests from trains and stuff
Did you remove your video about autistic burnout? I was gonna link it to a friend but I can’t find it anymore. anyway huge fan of your videos, they are extremely helpful
Me, who has Asperger’s (aka high-functioning or mild autism)… 1. Masking: I don’t think I mask as much anymore but it depends who I’m with (mainly with age). If I’m with those my age (I’m 21) I am seen as younger, I guess? Like between 16-18. 2. Definitely struggle with this, non-verbal communication is hard… 3. I like structures & routines to a certain extent, I think when I was younger I liked routines more but I had a huge life changing experience in 2023 (major death in my family + moving to another state) & I’m still in a weird place. Now I struggle with routines, getting up at a certain time every day doesn’t happen as much anymore (I’ve been sleeping in a lot more which isn’t a good thing & I can’t get myself out of bed unless there’s something pressing that I have to do but I’m also unemployed & have just been going to cafes/B&N multiple times a week. Plus some evening things (church, worship night, small groups *during fall/winter/spring*, etc.) 4. Special interests: mine is anime, I used to watch with my two older brothers (14 & 15 years age difference btw) during my childhood, I stopped for a few years when they left for college but got back into it around 12 & have been watching/reading/listening to openings, ending, original soundtrack, etc. I watch between 16-30 different shows each season & have a whole schedule for when new episodes come out (which is daily, some days have more than others, an average of 2-5 & for busy days up to 9). Another is self digital organization, my phone & laptop are organized (photos, music *which goes back into anime*, notes, apps, etc.) & every few months I may find a new/better way or organizing things & will use my free time to reorganize things. 5. Self scripting: I don’t do this like at all… unless you count pretty much always saying the same thing when speaking to people about that topic. For example, when I tell people that I moved from CO to __ (not saying the state for privacy reasons) people ask what I’m taking in college (cause I’m in an area with 2 major universities) & when I say I’m not in college, they ask why I moved… & that basically begins an info dump of why I moved & I always seem to say the same thing to anyone who asks… “my mom & I came here to visit my nephew & got a place soon after while I then went to KY for three months, before going back to CO for two months before moving here June 4, 2023 & blah blah blah found out my _______ passed away while I was still in KY, that was a hard week blah blah blah memorial blah blah blah…” anyway I’m sure you get the point. But I never self scripted what I say it’s just the order of events that occurred & how I explain it since I moved… 🤷🏽♀️ 6. Stimming: twirling my hair if I’m bored or nervous… or I just do it unintentionally while watching something. And I may bounce my leg in extreme cases when I’m nervous & more so if I’m extremely stressed out. 7. Sensory sensitivities: I can NOT wear jeans or really any pants that have zippers (but jeans especially, it’s the denim) & even pants in general can be extremely uncomfortable, more so when sitting down, I can’t deal with the feeling when pants inch up & the back inches down - so I always fold the front of my pants & hold the back as I’m sitting down (which can get pretty ignoring). The feeling of tags, gotta cut the tags off my clothes. Certain foods, texture, smell, & sometimes taste… I cannot do bananas (can tell if something has even a little banana in it). The sound when people crack their knuckles, neck, back, etc. (really just any sound relating to bones cracking). Wearing socks, the feeling after wearing socks for a while, my feet feel constricted or the seems bother me inside the shoes & speaking of shoes… when you have to tie shoes (especially sneakers) I hate the feeling when one side feels tighter or looser than the other & I find myself constantly having to re-tie my shoes, so much so I don’t get anything done ~ I try to avoid shoes with laces at all costs. There’s more but I can’t think of anything else… 8. Mental health issues: not sure if I have other things besides Asperger’s, I mean I definitely could but was only diagnosed with Asperger’s as a child. 🤷🏽♀️ Wonder if there’s a disability where you get so burnout that having a job makes you feel trapped & feel like you can’t do anything else whatsoever after work for multiple days… plus not being able to fall sleep fast… 🤔 9. Struggling w/ empathy + alexithymia: I feel like alexithymia sounds a bit like me too. 10. Connecting w/ neurotypical: yup, yup, yup… part of that is that it’s hard for me to remember names, I could remember someone’s face but not their name or remember their name but not their face… 😮💨
Thanks for your videos, they are so helpful!❤ You said you like questions, so this one came to my mind: What happens after you understood your emotion? For example, you were given a gift and you don’t know how you feel about it, but in to days you realized you're happy about it. Do you experience this happiness in that moment, or do you realize that the thing you felt before that was happiness? Do you feel the urge to express this emotion?
I think some of us are 5% autistic. Speaking of myself. Not enough traits to be a diagnosis. Do you communicate easily with children? (I do.) If so, maybe autism is in a way being like a child? I was shy when I was a youth, but not with friends. That can be from the way you are raised too, and genetic, (supposedly) but it could have been an unknown autistic trait also. How can you tell between a shy kid and a lightly autistic kid? Maybe there's no such thing as shyness in other words? Or shyness could be because of autism? (If you have trouble with communication, you adapt by not communicating.) I don't do well with non-verbal communication. Both sending and receiving. I don't smile much - poker face. So that's definitely one checkbox for me. Especially with women -- I have often interpreted interest cues from women too late to do anything about it. Training yourself in a mirror was an amazing idea. Masking could be seen as improving?
From a parents’ perspective, your videos help tremendously!! Yes, to part 2! Thank you doesn’t even come close to my gratitude for your wisdom, advice, knowledge, and experiences. Thanks again for sharing!
The empathy one is relatable, I never know what to say when someone is upset. I’ll usually sit by there side and say its okay. Sometimes feel how they’re feeling (probably not in the same excact level as them) and sometimes I’ll have no idea what to say or what they feel. So is the communicating with others. I won’t interact with someone I’m not comfortable with. I have a friend group but I’m not the most engaged at times. I do have a bestie who might have ADHD which could be why we get along alot? But still I’m not the best at communication with people I’m unfamiliar with
I remeber when i finally found a pair of sweatpants i liked. I wore them for YEARS even when they started to reach my ankles. Then i realized its time to put them away. Years later and they are STILL in my closet 😅😂
Ever since I was little I had two special interests, spiders and trains. Spiders mainly now, my pet tarantulas are everything haha. I have a handful of friends but I'm not great at connecting with most people.
Hey... I have question... When I talk with people I don't know well I try to agree with everything they say and I do that naturaly... Can it be masking?
When I got my drivers license the instructor said I had a “poker face”. I don’t do much facial expressions or just gestures in general. I’ve twirled my hair all my life I think or as long as I can remember. I hate clothing tags or tight necks. I never wear jeans these days! I’m 37 undiagnosed but am gonna see someone about this.
Hi, I love this video so SO much 😊 (but that door is seriously bothering me can you close it 😅). I used to literally HATE jeans as a kid. But how, since they are considered cool. I started to wear them, now I'm thinking, yay I finally like them! But no. Because when I finally change into something else I just melt. Could this be part of masking?
1: I actually don't mask, even though I'm autistic. It's probably because I was never really told how weird I was, or how unproachable I seemed. My mom also never pushed me so that's probably another reason too. And I'm also not insecure either, I'm actually quite confident in myself. Of course I'm scared of meeting new people and I'm a little insecure about how I present myself, but I don't let it make me super insecure. I didn't even know that other autistics masked tbh, but honestly that makes sense now cause this one kid who's also autistic always copies everyone. I didn't really mind it, but a lot of other kids never really liked it. 2: I don't really understand what non-verbal communication means, but if I understand what this means then I suppose I experience that. I don't really understand certain things that people say. Like, if someone's being sarcastic especially I can't tell super well. But I've also never been told that I'm doing anything wrong or that I'm the problem. I think it depends on what you mean, but I don't think I have a lot of troubles with communication. I'm also pretty good at understanding what emotions people are feeling. Somehow I just know, and I usually can also tell when people are lying to me. Sometimes I won't understand why they are mad though, or why they are experiencing these emotions. But I definitely do know that I especially can't relate to a lot of girls because of this. You know how a lot of girls often like to hint their emotions, or if they are in a relationship and they ask or do these ridiculous things to make sure that their person is right for them? Yeah, I don't understand that at all. Like, if you are upset girly, then just tell me. Idk about for other autistics, but I for some reason just don't find a lot of girls who I can personally get along with because of this. 3: I actually do have problems with this. For example, the day before yesterday I already planned when I was going to take a shower and I planned it for Saturday(today). Yesterday my mom told me I need to take a shower today, and we got into a little argument about it. Either she forgot that I needed to take a shower or she just let me win, cause I took my shower today. But whenever I plan something I planned it to have a sense of control, and if I have to reschedule what I planned it might take a while for me to recover. And I also especially plan because for me, if I'm not motivated to do something I'll likely not do much of it. 4: Ohh, yes, I experience this quite literally. I have a lot of hobbies and interests. But the ones I love the most are especially my phone, but it's not just my phone, I love to watch UA-camrs that I will probably be loyal to till I die(such as Aphmau, God I love her videos or other UA-camrs such as LaurenZside, JayPlays, and of course you too Morgan I absolutely love your videos especially your traveling blogs they are really entertaining!) I also especially love to listen to music. I could never get bored of music, it's the one thing that helps me calm down and to concentrate. I also have a huge love for wolves, they are my favorite animals and I absolutely love learning about them. And I love them so much that I even play a game where you play the life of an actual wolf(Wolfquest 3, some of you might have heard of it) I also really love sweets and food that I love. I even have a few TV shows that I like to watch when I'm by myself. I'm also into astrology too, and a lot of people my age aren't into those things. 5: I definitely don't do self scripting, simply cause I just don't like to bother about when I talk to someone. Usually Im just by myself anyway, and I'm honestly okay with being by myself. If someone really wanted to get to know me they would talk to me first, so I'm not making the first move to talk to someone I don't know. It's not that I can't talk or say "Hi" I just prefer someone to talk to me first. Usually I'm just by myself, so I assume that if no one talks to me then either they are assuming without talking to me first or they just don't like me or notice me. The rest of the traits will be written under my own comment btw
6: I actually don't stim pretty often. I don't even fidget at all. There was only one time I did stim and that was during 7th grade and it was only because we were waiting for the teacher to call our line over for something, and I was at the front of the line but I wasn't paying attention and you know how when everyone is impatient and then they all yell "OMG GOO" yeah I didn't take that very well and it literally affected me for the whole day. The worst part is that this was during a practice during chorus and after school was over I had to attend a chorus thing for Halloween, and of course it involved singing so I had to try so hard to not cry. And whenever I got the chance I would just rock back and forth or I would fidget my fingers or sway in place. 7: I experience this a lot. I experience this quite severely, my senses are very sensitive(especially my hearing, taste, and sense of smell). The worst for me are loud noises(such as a crowded building, screaming, or fireworks), food(especially soft, too bland or too flavorful food, and vegetables and fruit. I also don't like sauces), and I absolutely cannot stand too many food smells or anything like that. My sense of smell is so sensitive that I can smell multiple things at once and I can smell a lot of smells for miles, sometimes even days. Clothing depends, I can handle most clothing as long as it's soft, airy, or loose. I'm actually fine with jean shorts, but I can't stand jean pants. Unfortunately I just can't find jean shorts that fit me cause I am quite overweight. 8: I actually did experience this before I was even diagnosed with autism. When I was little my mom did try to get me checked for autism, but they only checked me for having anxiety, OCD, and processing disorder. 9: I actually used to not have any empathy at all. If you have watched Young Sheldon or The Big Bang theory, then you would probably think of me very similar to Sheldon Cooper. I used to have zero empathy, and I did think more so about myself but not because I was trying to I just didn't understand empathy. Now I consider myself pretty empathetic, I actually did build up my empathy myself. I'm not super empathetic to the point of very forgiving, but I am more empathetic now. 9.5: huh, I actually don't experience that. I can actually respond pretty quickly, I'm pretty straightforward and know myself pretty well enough that I don't need to process anything. 10: This is very true. I personally don't lack at friendship and I understand what friendship is very well. But it's actually not really me, it's always non-autistic people that misunderstand what I say or think I'm meaning something entirely negative or different when I'm not. I've had a lot of friendships in the past, but either it didn't work or I just ended up on the outskirts. Now it is very hard for me to maintain friendships, mainly because I don't put myself out there in fear of people I don't know.
I am not diagnosed because i dont have the ability to go seek a professional but I relate to all except routine Now routine is a bit complicated for me , i dont plan things for the entire week cause i know that i wont be able to follow it and it will upset me so i plan day by day instead But i dont follow the specific time that i planned to get the things in my day done , but i rather follow the same order without worrying about the time
Another great video! I have spent my entire life scripting my conversations. Phone calls are awful! My life also was learning how to "be normal." I now know that what people were trying to teach me was how to mask who I really am. As a manager, I had HR departments give me books on how to relate to others, the 5 languages of appreciation, and other neurotypical things. They always made me feel like I was broken. In reality, I was just struggling because I was autistic and they were trying to make me to not be that way. Now that I know that I am autistic, I know that what they were trying to do just would not have worked for me because there was no way that I could interpret the non-verbal communication that was going on around me. Luckily, now that I have a diagnosis of autism and ADHD, I am more able to advocate for myself. I am now in a job that is much better suited for me with an understanding supervisor who wants to help me, not change me.
i was diagnosed w autism as a toddler and even then ive been thru hell bcus of it. couldn't live a normal life growing up and have always been misunderstood. i also have adhd, anxiety, depression, ocd, cptsd, and bpd. and ive struggled with internalized ableism before too
Love this video! This video really provides a clear understanding of traits of Autism, and in a way that can be easily understood when sharing with my neurotypical friends/ family A part 2 will be awesome 😊
My son(23) is autistic, so these are things I have known a long time. But I was just thinking, and realised that I don't notice most of my facial expressions, they're automatic. I also don't notice that I'm reading other people. Not unless someone calls attention to it and asks how I knew what they meant. I'm not overly good at reading people. But my Mum was amazing and I used to often wonder how she knew things.
I think I know what you mean. Some days I am accommodated and I feel like I can do anything. Other days my needs aren’t being met and I feel extremely disabled. It causes me to feel extreme imposter syndrome
Just wanna say that sometimes I use your videos as background noise because there is something very calming and satisfying about the way you talk, it's like a tone idk. Ty!
Hi Morgan, just wanted to say thank you for all you do. I got my diagnosis last year at the same age you did, and watching your videos helped me so much. I had never related to anything so much before and it made me feel not alone and helped me realise so much about myself. Thank you
As for diagnosis, I got diagnosed Asperger's in 78. in 1993 I got diagnosed Dyslexic yet I can read very well. I just write and use wrong words and miss words. So it went unnoticed in school till I hit college years. Then 2018, high functioning anxiety which I've now got handle on. I think the high functioning anxiety comes from decades of masking and being forced to mask through punishment as a kid.
Admittedly, I don't know if I am or not. While I relate to a few of these, I don't know. A lot of my family has agreed and think I could possibly be an undiagnosed autistic. (They ain't malicious about it though. All they've done is observe, so it's okay.) While it would explain a few things, I don't want to think that I am, because then I'd basically play "Pin The Tail On The Autism" and just blame it for everything, even potentially using it as an attention getting scheme. I can almost guarantee I'd do that, so I effectively don't WANT to be autistic. That, and I don't think it would help me or has helped me before. I dunno. I got mixed feelings about this. I just feel really weird.
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s at the age of 12. But throughout my life I ended up questioning whether if that was what I actually have. I ended up looking up what exactly Asperger’s syndrome is and then of course I ended up having a book about it almost tossed at me lol but yea after doin that I was like wow that is not who I am at all. And to this day even my sister can tell that that’s not what I have either, think I am on the spectrum in a way but at a higher functioning level and then my sister looked up something called Borderline intellectual functioning and I read it and was like wow now that definitely sounds like me so yeah. @Morgan idk if you’ve heard of that before but I have been enjoying your videos so far and I definitely feel like I can relate to you as well🤠
I know where your coming from. I also am an aspergers boy who was diagnosed at 12. The doctors put me down as high functioning too. I think I will need to have a look into what you said. I think lots of people were misdiagnosed with Aspergers and it would explain how I don't feel like a typical Autistic person nor an Allistic person. I used to be someone who could make friends easily up till secondary school when the trauma of joint secondary school did lead to my diagnosis. I also was late developing my speech and remember doing speech therapy as a child to encourage me to speak. So much built in trauma.
@@mikebereziuk6041 it’s awesome to meet and know that there’s someone else out there that understands where I’m coming from Man. But yea absolutely give it a read and who knows it might help you out a little further. Yea I think like Morgan said we tend to do a lot of masking to fit in and I 💯 agree cause I did that a bunch throughout my school year and even sometimes now in my church group and it can get pretty tiring for sure.
I don't always do it, but dude, the rolling eyes back and forth thing honestly feels really cool. There's just something oddly satisfying about stimming, I don't even know how to explain it. Hmm, although I also blink while rolling my eyes back and forth.
Another great video that explains my 16 year old daughter to a T!! Thank you she shared this with me so I can understand her better. One thing my daughter and I have been wondering is do you have Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome? Autism, ADHD and several other comorbidities go along with the condition and we noticed you seem to have hypermobile fingers. So many things make sense for my daughter with her diagnosis. She also has POTS Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome.
Hahaha yes I am hyper mobile and i suspect that I have EDS but I haven’t been screened for it. I get asked that a lot because it’s really obvious the way my fingers bend back. My full diagnosis list is autism, adhd, dyslexia, anxiety and depression. I don’t have POTS but I know that is a common comorbidity as well.
I am truly loving your videos and even though I’m much older you are speaking my life and experiences!!! lol😂😂😂😂😂feels really good to know I’m not alone. We need a forum!! Lol
Great video, I'm 43 and was recently diagnosed with ASD, General Anxiety, Social Anxiety and MDD. My stim is mainly rocking and I used to bang my head repeatedly on the wall as a baby. My mom and I have always suspected Autism but, like you mentioned, the doctors never considered it. It's nice finally having that diagnosis and receiving therapy for all of my disorders. I relate to your content and appreciate what you do, thank you!
I'm not sure if I'm just weird or autistic. I've pretty much embraced my weirdness though, by that I mean I just try to act like myself. Still do kinda hide in social situations though. Some people also call me a robot lol. Some people also laugh at me when I barely say anything, some say it is because I'm so nonchalant. Idk. Only way to have a high certainty of knowledge is to get a professional test.
You, Morgan, explaining the traits in such a relatable way continues to be a real eye opener. As was the short about literal thinking. "No, I don''t flap my hands, so no, no repetitive movements", while spinning the pen. "The big fancy doctor lingo" and taking the questions in the autism exam too literally are the reasons that led to the doctors withholding my autism diagnosis. "It wasn't easy and the traits are certainly there. But in the end your score was just a little bit too low, so we diagnose you with obsessive disorder instead." I should probably ask for a second opinion. So a big thank you for your videos, Morgan.
Really appreciate these, thank you for sharing. Received diagnosis at 29 after half a dozen attempted lives unraveled before my eyes. Still struggling to unmask and emerge after creating a rift between what I thought were friends and even close family over misunderstandings. Generally avoid absorbing information like this out of fear of concretizing my mask and making it that much more difficult to seek community, but wanted to let you that your perspective has done the opposite in that it has made me feel more human and able to let go of some of that rigidity. Hope that makes sense. Keep doing what you're doing! Normally I would never press enter and consider simply typing these thoughts to myself to be enough. No more looking back. Here's to letting go
I actually know you from tiktok and was shocked at how expressive you are in this video and then when you explained that you were masking your facial expressions, I just frickin related to that.
I have a little cousin who's autistic (he's like 7) and it always surprises me hos easy it is to get along with him and keep up with all his thought process. Yet another reason I suspect I have autism 😅
It is not just the social sciences that autists have special interests when studying. I have always been interested in ecology from my upbringing as a Native American. The interconnections between society, rivers, land, and animals, aquatic creatures, arachnids, and insects in our environments. Being told and having oral stories talk about this interconnectedness. So, I went to university, first with the idea of my first love of math, then understanding that I could apply t his math to other scientific fields to finally end up studying ecosystems within hydrological systems, eco-hydrology. I know of other autists that are doctors, computer scientists, and other scientific fields. This is why New Zealand and it’s not accepting neurodiverse immigrants is cutting off their nose despite their face. Many scientists that they lack are neurodiverse. Yet they cannot help with their shortage, since they are not allowed into the country. Masking, I sucked at and basically refused to play the game as a kid through most of high school. I then wanted a job as a math tutor, but my boss gave me a weeks trial to see if I could approach strangers to help them. He had seen me in the tutoring center for months barely having the courage to speak with anyone to ask for help. So I learned to mask quickly. I told myself these people are just afraid of asking a question as me approaching them. I scripted approaching them for days before I started as a tutor. I got better at it with each passing day of work. I got to keep the job. I used these masking skills later when I was promoted into a sales position even though I did not want it where I worked before moving to Denmark. I learned to mask because I had to in order to earn a paycheck. Former co-workers said they thought I would be a witch with a b to work with because of how mean and unapproachable I looked, so I was terrible at non-verbal communication. Being AuDHD, yes I have my routines, but then again, I am quick to veer off when I see the first squirrel that captures my interest. Oh and my stepfathers family, who are all extroverts, thought I did not care when my dad was dying. I had to hide outside the room because they thought having a party at his death bed was the thing to do, and plus I was soaking in everyone’s emotions like a sponge. My brother, who studied social studies understood what I was going through and talked to me outside of that room, to keep me from going to a meltdown from the shutdown I was in.
I have been suspecting that I'm autistic for a while now, but I haven't gone to get a diagnosis yet. So here are my experiences with these traits. Enjoy this long text: 1. Autistic Masking I used to think that all the masking stuff I do (like overthinking things I want to say to figure out if it will be interpreted as rude or not, and scripting out what I want to say beforehand so that I won't freeze up in the moment to figure out what to say and to figure out if it will be interpreted as rude) is something that everyone else does... but over time I've realized that it's probably masking and not something everyone else does. (I was taught a lot as a kid that I had to think before I speak, and I was for a long time, and still am, unsure if my masking is just normal thinking before speaking, or actual masking) 2. Non-Verbal Communication I'm not the best at reading non-verbal communication, but I can understand at leas some of it. But things I have noticed that I struggle with is when people only say part of a sentence, and imply that I will understand the last part without being told it. Like saying "We are going to do X" ... I read that as them just informing me where they will be, rather than them trying to communicate this "We are going to do X, do you want to come with us?" 3. Structure and Routine I don't think I have the most structured life filled with routines, but I do have some things I stick to, like always having the same thing for breakfast/lunch, always wanting to have taco on Fridays, and pizza on Saturdays, always walking the same way to work, etc. Also, I dislike it when something was decided last minute rather than in advance. 4. Special Interests My interests are computer science/programming, Linux, and then some other random interests that show up and disappear every now and then. (My brother has actually joked that I do stuff related to programming every second of every waking moment of my day. I wake up and go to work, where I do programming, then I go home, and work on personal programming projects, or watch internet videos and other internet content related to programming.) Back in school I had special interests for a few video games, usually only one at a time. The first one I can remember was for a video game called Superia, and I would always be talking about it to my friends, but after that game shut down my interests moved over more to Minecraft and Club Penguin. 5. Self Scripting :) Yep. As said before, I plan out entire conversations in my head so I will have something to say, and make sure that I don't accidentally say something inappropriate. Everything I say may not be planed out in advance, but it's at least heavily planed out in my head during the conversation... which sometimes can make me stop listening in on the conversation. The first time I called in to ask for a job, I had written out the entire conversation of asking for a job on a piece of paper so that I would know what to say, and that I wouldn't forget what I planed on saying. 6. Stimming I like to make popping sounds with my mouth, and cracking my knuckles. I also shake my leg, but I often try to avoid doing it since people often get mad when I do it. Also, I'm not sure if this is considered stimming, but when I brush my teeth or I am waiting at the buss stop and no one is looking, I often walk in circles. Back when I was in school I would often tap my fingers on the desk, or draw on my eraser. I also did some other stuff that in retrospect probably was stimming, but I'm too embarrassed to share them. 7. Sensory Sentitivities I often notice annoying sounds (at least sounds that are annoying to me) before other people, and I find some stuff just horrible, like scraping your fingernails on bumpy plastic (I'm not sure what it's called, but there is a kind of plastic that some things are made of that have a kind of bumpy texture, and when someone scrapes their nails against it I hated it.) Also I hate bright lights, so at work I often have the light in the room I usually am in (a room with 3 cubicles, that usually only has me in it) turned off, I also have the ceiling light in my room always turned off since it is incredibly bright. I don't think I have a lot of sensory issues with clothes, but I have some issues with it, for example for some clothes, the tags are really annoying, so now I prefer to use underwear that has no tags in it (it has the information printed on it instead of being on the tag.) 8. Mental Health Issues Back in school, I was really depressed (or at least what I interpreted as depressed) and I didn't really enjoy living life, and it was only through luck and me being a coward that I am still here today. I think I'm doing better now, but I still have some anxiety issues related to social situations. (I haven't been diagnosed or tested for anything, this is just stuff I have figured out on my self that I probably am having issues with, though I was tested for dyslexia as a kid since I was behind my peers when I came with reading and writing, but with practice I have become better at that, though my handwriting is still awful, and it hasn't really gotten any better now since I am mostly writing using a keyboard now.) 9. Empathy I have always thought that I have been good with empathy... and as a kid my mom I said there was no way I was autistic (it somehow came up in a conversation, I don't remember how) since I had empathy. I'm not sure if I have sematic empathy since I don't really feel the emotions of others as if they were mine, but when someone explains how they hurt themselves, I kinda feel it as if it happened to me, and I begin to on repeat visualize it happening in my head... so I hate it when people explain their scars, etc. 9.5. Alexithymia I have heard of this before, but I am still unsure if I experience this, since yes, I have some issues with figuring out what I am feeling, but most of the time (I think) I can figure it out. 10. Connecting With Others I don't see much value in the kind of friendship other people seam to want, so I think I have some issues with connecting with others. I value sharing of knowledge, among other things, so when I make a friend, it's often because I have a common interest with them. For example, last summer I made a friend (with someone who likely was autistic), and it was because we both had and interest in solving Rubik's cubes fast, so we would race each other, and we would share techniques for doing it faster. Though I do from time to time want a friend that I can talk about more personal stuff to, but that isn't that often.
I am a 37 year old diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder yet i finally felt it was time my mental health provider started looking into if i might have autism and inattentive ADHD. And funny enough the moment i asked for it to be checked my personal psychiatric health care giver (psychiatric nurse) said: ah it make sense then why the antipsychotics are working differently on you then on other schizophrenic people, cause lower doses often work for autistic people. I am now on 1/6 the recommended lowest dose for schizophrenia. But during a manic episode the same medication did not get me out of my delusions for a while they just made me less manic. They gave me 3,5 times the required dose. And i found out that my body takes in medication very easy and it was above my max dose for possible life threatening complications. I feel my manic psychotic episodes are really just a outburst for having to mask being both autistic and schizophrenic.
This was very helpful! I haven’t been diagnosed yet, but I know I’m autistic. My partner was diagnosed years ago, and we just get each other. But I have been diagnosed with anxiety, dyslexia, and OCD. I’m also Alexithymic. 😅
It's not your fault. People should learn a little about autism. It's important to mention it's not the people's fault also! Videoos like these help. 🙂 BTW, my telepathy works difficult with you. But I'm just crazy.
For me, masking was a bit weird. I realized at a fairly young age (but in school) that people actually were talking about me and having these weird expectations about me. Yet, for every opinion going one way, there was always a contrary opinion. So I decided worrying what others thought about me was entirely pointless and that for me conforming was probably impossible. If something I did got universal, consistent feedback then I'd modify it perhaps. For example, I took to saying, ""Greetings" when I entered a place because it did not really invite small talk.
Hi Morgan I am a twelve year old girl I found out I had autism and dyslexia my mom told me when I was ten and they knew I had it for a few months before they told me I would have been I think nine when they found out only a few people now I have autism and dyslexia I have a ten year old sister a seven year old sister and a four year old brother I haven't told any of them because I think they will tell other people I am obsessed with this book writter Rick riordan he has many different charters with dyslexia, I love swimming, water sports, your videos, Hunter of Artemis 4748, reading and Greek mythology I have a few friends with dyslexia and a friend with adhd you are one of my favourite UA-camr ever 💙💚💛💜❤💙💚💛💜❤💙💚💛💜❤💙💚💛💜❤💙💚💛💜❤💙💚💛💜❤
Dear Morgan! I am into Human Design, and I see a lot of correlation between a personal chart and neurodivergency, as well as which place autism and neurodivergency takes in collective evolutionary process of humanity:) I am autistic (undiagnosed) but I cannot feel people's emotions easily and instantly, I need time for that. Curious to know, do you know about human design and what is your profile/ centers? :) That tool (HD) shines clear light onto the picture of myself and helps me to better feel, understand and integrate different non-typicalities that I carry. Thank you for your video, as it makes me see myself much more clear, too!
The delayed understanding of emotions thing also happens with CPTSD and learned numbness as a survival tactic. BTDT (not autistic). And of course, growing up autistic also leaves one with trauma. I think this is why it can be so hard to sort out high masking autism from trauma responses and personality disorders. Outwardly, they can look similar. Inwardly, they're totally different.
Hey, thank you so much! Your video helped me to feel less lonely and less GUILTY of everything I did wrong I never communicated with diagnosed people nor with psychologists, I'm 23 and it's been just like ~3 years I'm considering the possibility of having autism, my culture is still far from understanding and accepting it 😪 Some of the traits are nowadays fading away (or I learned masking them well enough) I'm scared to actually go and ask a doctor, like what will happen if I get diagnosed in my country?? Or worse, if the doctor says 'Nope you are not autistic enough, all these things were actually your mistakes and defects'
You say you have autism, do you mean asperger's? Is it the same thing? Speaking of empathy... Have you cried over someone who has died, or cried over a sad movie, or that you laugh over a funny movie for example. Or if you se a an embarrassing situation in a movie, for example... That you feel embarrassed that person and want to cover your face when you see it, maybe you blush when you see it? Or if you see a horror movie or an exciting movie when someone is involved in something dangerous, for example is close to falling off a house or being chased by a bear or the like... Do you get scared and tense and kind of want to close your eyes and kind of almost don't dare to watch? That is, not to appear normal in front of others, but more that you also do it even if no one is watching you. Like genuine crying/genuine laughter, genuie embarrassed for that person in the movie etc?
It's funny, but you're the only videos i don't have to put on 1.75 speed! I can listen to them at the normal rate and not get bored! Perfect editing because i didn't even realize that you WERE editing. I thought it was just natural! ❤
Can u explain everything in my life? I very often don't get things because it normally doesn't make sense when other people explain literally anything, and for me, u explaining these things are so helpful to me, it doesn't take me as long to understand what ur saying or explaining, so, can u explain everything to me from now on? ( Just a joke, but if it ever came true it would be quite helpful )
I get “adopted” by extroverts all the time & really only know how to interact with them since they pretty much run the conversation. I haven’t made any friends with other autistic people (basically because I don’t initiate conversations), but I wonder how it would be interacting with them. My mask is to be all smiley & bubbly so that’s why I think extroverts are drawn to me! 😂 It’s pure delirium, I guess 🤪
You’re a fascinating person. You’re very articulate about the topic. It’s easy to understand. Now you say diagnosing it in females is difficult. By any chance do you know what those differences are? Perhaps it’s just as difficult to diagnose it in males, but in a different way. But because you’re not male. It’s not something you have information about it the same way. Are there different degrees of autism? Is there a scale?
"Holistic people just love to imply things without actually using your words." We're not trying to make your life difficult it's just that 1. some things are too obvious that it'd be silly to put in to words (except for autistic people, I guess lol) and 2. there are things that have more power if the meaning is implied like jokes, metaphors, a gesture of complicity with your romantic partner, and of course throwing shade lol. Some of these things lose their power once you verbalize them. Like jokes not being funny after you explain them.
I'm not officially diagnosed but I don't know why because I've been always told by doctors i have autistic tendencies and I had a 504 accommodation plan from middle school through college and I could never really explain my diagnosis when I was asked by college professor's what the nature of my disability was. Was this something anyone else had a problem with?
So, seriously, some of this stuff isn't neurotypical? Like specifically scripting. People just go through life without planning everything that could happen and how to deal with it???
What you have that's anything but an autistic trait is that insane positive energy! I'm autistic and unfortunately I have none of that even through masking because currently I'm in desperate need of help training my brain to "open" itself and not do literally everything in its power to fkn isolate me from the outside.
Criminology & Social behavior is a mystery. So is travel. Even though I do research on the subjects of safety protocols for when I begin traveling... I bet your a master of catching crooks. Knowing the slick daddy & insidious tools of the trade with those wanting to steal on You. Even though it's all a good time. Life's dangerous. & beautiful Women are taken advantage of feeling ni'eve, but your too smart. Id be thrilled the life You'll come to find when you get to finally be satisfied. Sharing Your World in a life & being saved by an education will take You places so many truly fantasies about. You have already graduated college. So, What's your plan to collect savings for a get away?
I'm undiagnosed but I'm looking into screening now at 27yo, because apparently it isn't normal to be itchy 24/7 from your clothing and look down at all times when walking to avoid being overstimulated 😂 (among many other things obvs)
Super helpful, thanks for sharing your experiences with us, still struggling and possibly looking for a diagnosis. Its hard to put into words how much this helps.
I have this appointment coming up that I have been debating whether I should go or try to get out of and if I go how to handle it. And last night my boyfriend said to me "You're torturing yourself with your indecision. Just decide what you're gonna do. It'll be much better for you." And I was like "Wait. You can do that?" Because my brain doesn't do that. If I can't make up my mind I literally cannot. If I try to force it or toss a coin or something my brain will still go back and forth and contemplate the options. And now I'm wondering if that is a neurodivergent thing. I'm not diagnosed but like 98% certain that I am autistic and/or ADHD
1. masking
2. non-verbal communication
3. structure and routine
4. special interests
5. self scripting
6. stimming
7. sensory sensitivity
8. mental health issues
9. struggling with empathy(NOT lacking)
9.5. Alexithymia
10. connecting with neurotypicals
i was going to watch the video twice just to go over them again and this helps so thank you
Thanks❤
Hi, Great video! I’m undiagnosed but display every trait you’ve explained. I used to think I was amazing at reading non-verbal communication, however, I realized I just thought I was but often completely misinterpreted the communication & got it completely wrong which would cause a lot of issues. All of these traits hit home pretty hard.
Same!! Both my kids are diagnosed so I know who they got it from lol
She contradicts herself regularly. Dont buy into it
She speaks of norms yet says she's having hard time herself with small tasks. She is burnt out her issues are not what other people think of her but what she is capable of herself. If that's even true.
@@lizzypiec there's all the reason for anyone to lie. That's not a rebuttal. She clearly contradicts herself
@lizzypiec She speaks of norms being the issue and how she's perceived that's the issue and autis m is not something that is a disability but just another way of thinking yet clearly its causing her problems. If you watch her other videos and I'm read what I said then you know it's true. If you dontvwant to admit it then that's up to you
your content is such a safe space for me
this is the best compliment i am so glad!!🥰
so incredibly validating, too 🌈♾️
@@morgaanfoleyI like your outfit
@@morgaanfoleyI really like you Morgaan you’re so sweet and kind
I'm undiagnosed and am currently on the waiting list to be evaluated, and I'm scared. Because I know that when they're going to ask me all of those questions that won't make any sense in my mind, I might not answer the right way, or know how to explain things or what I feel or don't feel. I have a few months to prepare myself mentally, take notes on paper (that I will probably lose somewhere at home) and hopefully don't back down. I'm a bit tired of being "depressed" and "anxious", or "rude" and "ungrateful". I'm happy I stumbled upon your short videos by scrolling. Made me feel less lonely. Definitely watch the other videos ! Thanks a lot !
Hi Anouki!!
I wanted to try to assure you. I think you're going to do fine! I've been tested for some things before and sometimes asking you a question that you don't know how to answer or are going to find difficult to formulate an answer to, is the actual question or test. So I hope you don't stress too much about the 'right' answer - the 'honest' answer is the 'right' answer a lot of times. I will give you an example ; my therapist was testing me to see what kind of depression symptoms I had, because I reported that I've been depressed as long as I can remember and that I have 'anhedonia' (I think this is from the greek word, hedon / hedonism , or pleasure / the pursuit of pleasure - and 'an' in front means without... so anhedonia means I do not experience pleasure or joy or happiness in most instances where a normal person should)
for the test, she kept asking me at different times what was my favorite _______. My favorite food, my favorite color, my favorite hobby, things like that.
Which I struggled to answer or recall my favorites, sometimes I just didn't' remember having a favorite of the thing she was asking about. I had to think for a long time and I talked about what my thought process was, trying to remember my favorite food, or color, or whatever. This is something that is common with a kind of depression called dysthymia . also called 'persistent depressive disorder' : people like me can't remember their favorite things or don't have favorite things : you have to be able to connect with or remember the emotion of enjoying or liking something more than other things of its type. Thats something I don't seem to be able to do , because I don't have that feeling in most cases and in cases where I do have the feeling I just don't connect with the feeling and have to figure out what my favorite was by remembering my behavior, my choices, and comparing it to other memories to figure out what my favorite is.
So , sometimes not knowing how to answer the question or needing a long time to think about it while trying to answer, is the 'right' answer for what you're being tested for and thats okay if you have trouble. Don't worry about the right answer too much with these kinds of tests ; how you answer or the challenges you have with the question is often the real thing they are looking for.
@@grahamelliott9506 That made me feel better. Thanks a lot ! I'll keep that in mind when the time comes ♡
@@Astrithr glad to hear :)
good luck! I don't think you'll need it though, just be honest, you've got this!
I usually overthink things and ruminate on things, so sometimes I have to tell myself to stop thinking so much and just go with what feels like the first impulse answer.
When I was little and first got those tests where you color in the bubble next to the answer you are choosing, I read the instructions very literally and it said to color in the circle 'BEFORE' the right answer. So if the answer was C, I colored in B. If the answer was D, I colored in C. I didn't know what to do if the answer was A though and got told no questions during the test when I tried to ask... anyway when they went to score that test they realized what I had done and asked why, I explained it says 'before the right answer' 😁😁 I got a really good score once they adjusted all the answers down by one and changed my D answers to A haha
Why do you need a dumb doctor to diagnose you? If you are autistic, you know it, and it is pretty obvious once you know about it.
You've got this! Just be yourself. Show your struggles. It's not a driving test, where you can fail. For mine I actually tried really hard to be myself and not give them the answers I know neuro typical people would give. The diagnosis is for you, not your mask :)
I am almost 60 YO male with a wife and family. And I am, right at this very moment, crying because I have the things you've described. No one knew this was a thing when I was a kid. I spent so many years in school thinking I was just the "dumb kid", the "weird kid", the kid that never "got it" when other people were making a face or smirking or something else non-verbal. My dyslexia is off the charts. But my OCD saved the day because I'm an INCREDIBLE programmer. Otherwise, I don't know what I would have done with my life, feeling like an outcast. Thank you for this wonderful and thorough description, and for helping the rest of the world understand it just a little better.
When I learned in a psychology class that like 80% of communication is nonverbal, I seriously cried. I knew that some communication was nonverbal but 80%?? I had always thought it was the opposite so I was actually shocked.
😢 yep
Ohh I remember feeling really stressed about that too when I learned it. Became very concerned about how I didn't know how to see it and didn't know how to ask how to learn about it.
Non verbal communication makes no sense....
Same lmao, what a joke
i learned that in this video and didn’t think it could possibly be true because 80 percent is crazy high. (weren’t words invented for communication? why not use them???) but there are a bunch of sources that say numbers near 80, so now i’m just kinda panicking over how much i’ve missed
Somatic empathy. I had always thought that my acute awareness of other’s emotions, like a sort of “heightened” empathy, was a sign that I was not autistic. I need to rethink that.
Thank you so much. This has been very helpful. Please continue to share your experiences and make content like this. It is extremely informative, and I am certain that others also find it helpful.
Same. I was also rejecting the idea of me being autistic because of the "doesn't understand sarcasm, irony and jokes" thing. Since I'm fluent at those, I use them all the time and enjoy it very much, I deemed I couldn't possibly be autistic. Now I know it's not how it works. Autistic people not so much can't understand, but struggle to INDENTIFY those. The official description of what autism is is sooo wrong. And actual autistics doing the work to demistify it all is so important.
I understand how exhausting the constant scripting can be.
But in the end your videos are super easy to understand and you get across what you want to say in a very clear way.
So thank you for all the effort, you are doing a great job!
I love the way you present your content, your choice of words makes it easy to understand and not overly complicated. Here because few of my close friends are autistic! Thank you for helping me understand!
I love the feedback on the way I present my content!! I’m always worried that I’m talking to fast or to low or not presenting stuff in an easily understood way. I’m so happy people enjoy it and understand it🥰🥰
@@morgaanfoley I love your pace. Actually, I'm often getting bored on youtube when content creators are making videos that are too long for the points they are going to make. Your videos are fun to watch and I'm not getting bored. Well done!
tomorrow is my first therapy hour (not related to autism), and im very nervous. you help me so much to understand myself with your content, even tho im not sure yet if im autistic or not. its such a complex thing and the overlapping symptoms make me crazy sometimes. the future will make things clear. im excited and thankful to learn more about the stuff that happens in our brain. have a beautiful day♡ and i send much love and strength to everyone struggling in any way, it wont be like that forever, i believe in you
I’m so happy that you are seeking help and trying to figure out ur brain!! It’s such a great step and I’m proud of you for doing it😊😊
ive always had this thing where i would copy how other people speak and basically replicate their talking 'style', i never knew this was a form of masking. Amazing video ❤❤❤
omg im so glad you were able to learn something new about yourself🥰 I constantly do it too. whoever i spend the most time with I end up talking like. my speach patters are always changing. and when i watch old videos of myself i can tell who im mimicking and i feel so cringy hahha
I thought everyone did this and I was just a little late to do it 🫠
I’m so glad I found your videos Morgan. Being 43 this year and undiagnosed, I now understand why my whole life didn’t make sense, especially with friendships as a child and relationships with people. Thank you 🙏 and yes we need more than a part two! 😊
I'm in the same boat! I feel that weight being lifted a little more each time I learn something new about autism. It's so comforting to know I have people out there that actually understand me, even if I don't get to meet them in person.
I feel you. I'm 47 and...same. I've been crying a lot lately (since I've realized I'm probably autistic) because oh god that's what it was! And what if I found out sooner? My life wouldn't be such a mess. And how didn't any of the 3 psychiatrics and 3 therapists I've seen for YEARS get a hint?? I'm even more depressed now, but I contacted a specialist in adult ASD and I'm waiting for an appointment to get assessed. And after that, who knows
When you talked about learning your facial expressions, I just wanted to tell you to relax and forget about them for your video. I feel like I want to know the real you.
i remember i had a job at a movie theater last year, and one of my coworkers was open about them being neurodivergent. so after about a week working there, I was talking with that coworker and at one point, they said "are you neurodivergent?" and I was like "no, I dont have a diagnosis or anything like that" and they went on to explain how neurodivergent subconsciously gravitate towards each other and its like we have a radar for that kind of stuff, and they were like "well man I got some news for you."
ever since then, i've been researching and listening to autistic and neurodivergent people, as well as looking back in my life at situations in which neurodivergency could be a part of the explanation why something happened, and even though I'm not professionally diagnosed, I have a strong feeling I'm autistic.
Smiling has always hurt my face, people always tell me I look aggressive when I don't make any facial expressions, even though that's just me literally just not making any expression.
its so sad to be misunderstood like that simply because our expressions. ur not alone ❤
Someone at my work tells me to smile more and it's really irritating
I stopped your video SEVERAL times to just maniacally cackle because you perfectly described what I experienced growing up and continue to feel like. I just turned 40 and will be pushing HARD for my doctors to evaluate me to autism. I know I am, but at least the official diagnosis will help me get services and/or accommodations. Thank you for this video!
In my case, I actually hate routines, but I need them to keep my executive function and my emotional stability, it's a weird sense.
I'm also a gifted person and I was very good at math at school, although it is not one of my special interests (the real ones gravitate towards environment and humanities, I'm impressed how common it is among us autistics); but social pressure led me to choose an engineering degree that I don't like and eventually took down my mental health. Ironically that set up a series of events that at the end got me diagnosed as autistic, so not everything was bad. Plus, I was able to get a master's degree in environment and social development, where I could learn and start a career in anthropology topics.
I also have struggles talking, I'm quite more comfortable with written communication. When I suddenly come up with a spontaneous clever sentence at the right time while talking, subconsciously I repeat it muttering over and over, being impressed of myself. I thought everyone did that, not knowing that is a sign of echolalia.
I know that feeling of hating routine but needing it to function. I think it’s my autism and ADHD fighting each other lol
@@morgaanfoley Yes! It's like a war against oneself.
🤦🏻♂️
Wow. This sounds very similar to me. I was always gifted in mathematics in school but always hated it. I also despise a routine but know that I require one to keep control of my self and keep a steady pattern.
However theire is always differences.
With me I had the weird side of autism as I belive I was "allistic" to a point. I remember in primary school I was ok, I had a best friend and was part of a social group, I even talked to a few groups of people. However when I started secondary school the transition of schools was extremely challenging for me as my bond's broke. My friends went to different schools so I had to try and make new ones (which did not happen). I also struggled with the pressure of going to different classrooms and interacting with several different teachers and their homework assignments. It was all to overestimating. That year I was diagnosed with the outdated term of aspergers as I was fine on paper but had trouble processing things.
To me I felt like Autism was a curse. Everything I built up over my whole primary school experience was destroyed by the first year of secondary school and it was alienating being disabled when I previously was fine.
Even to this day I struggle with my emotional regulation and making of friends as I feel like the system failed me.
To me I feel like I'm still that allistic child who is now struggling with emotional issues and anxiety. I'm not one of them typical autistic people as I ironicly don't really have a Special interest and I feel a bit of jealousy in the community when I just want something to give me joy. That's my hot take anyways.
i love your videos (even if they’re too real) and you’ve helped me identify so many things within myself. I think it’d be really helpful and cool if you made a video on how autism affects work/school (like college & career planning) and how to accommodate yourself for them or find career or school options better suited for you. Just an idea of course! I love your videos (and your voice is so calming and comforting oml)
I will add that to my list of topics thank you!!🥰🥰
Do you find that, as an autistic person, writing essays is significantly more difficult and time-consuming than it is for your neurotypical peers?
My special interests are Languages, litreture and reading, I have casual hobbies.. But my top passion is languages.. Sometimes people think I don't know how to enjoy my life because I prefer studying languages to playing... Thank you very much
I am very happy because you help me understand myself
I can really relate to what you are saying in this video. Been trying to tell people for the past 12 years now, that I'm constantly feeling like an alien amongst humans for my entire life. Everything seems to come so naturally to them, while I am still trying to figure out the secret code to being one of them. Since about 2-3 years I'm pretty sure that I am autistic, too. Watching the videos of Paul from "Autism on the Inside" on YT were a total game changer for me. Finally, all the the things I was having trouble with for my whole life were starting to make sense to me. I haven't received an official diagnosis, yet, but my confidence is growing every day that I'm on the right track now. And the videos from content creators like yourself are helping me to come to fully understand my own situation. So thank you very much for being there for us, Morgan 😊👍🏻
when i got tested in august i was still a minor so they gave me the 40 question test they give to kids and it basically just asked if i liked trains, museums, parties, etc.
needless to say, i did not get diagnosed with autism, but i still think that i'm autistic? is that offensive? it explains so much of my life both now and before, videos like these only tend to confirm my understanding, but everyone in my life besides some friends thinks that i cant be autistic because i had different stims from hand flapping and different interests from trains and stuff
Hey your videos have been really helping me figure out who I am. I went 26 years through my life thinking I was different and didn’t know why.
as an fellow autistic person, been loving your content and i relate to soo much of all of it, keep up the great and amazing work my friend :}
Did you remove your video about autistic burnout? I was gonna link it to a friend but I can’t find it anymore. anyway huge fan of your videos, they are extremely helpful
Me, who has Asperger’s (aka high-functioning or mild autism)…
1. Masking: I don’t think I mask as much anymore but it depends who I’m with (mainly with age). If I’m with those my age (I’m 21) I am seen as younger, I guess? Like between 16-18.
2. Definitely struggle with this, non-verbal communication is hard…
3. I like structures & routines to a certain extent, I think when I was younger I liked routines more but I had a huge life changing experience in 2023 (major death in my family + moving to another state) & I’m still in a weird place. Now I struggle with routines, getting up at a certain time every day doesn’t happen as much anymore (I’ve been sleeping in a lot more which isn’t a good thing & I can’t get myself out of bed unless there’s something pressing that I have to do but I’m also unemployed & have just been going to cafes/B&N multiple times a week. Plus some evening things (church, worship night, small groups *during fall/winter/spring*, etc.)
4. Special interests: mine is anime, I used to watch with my two older brothers (14 & 15 years age difference btw) during my childhood, I stopped for a few years when they left for college but got back into it around 12 & have been watching/reading/listening to openings, ending, original soundtrack, etc. I watch between 16-30 different shows each season & have a whole schedule for when new episodes come out (which is daily, some days have more than others, an average of 2-5 & for busy days up to 9). Another is self digital organization, my phone & laptop are organized (photos, music *which goes back into anime*, notes, apps, etc.) & every few months I may find a new/better way or organizing things & will use my free time to reorganize things.
5. Self scripting: I don’t do this like at all… unless you count pretty much always saying the same thing when speaking to people about that topic. For example, when I tell people that I moved from CO to __ (not saying the state for privacy reasons) people ask what I’m taking in college (cause I’m in an area with 2 major universities) & when I say I’m not in college, they ask why I moved… & that basically begins an info dump of why I moved & I always seem to say the same thing to anyone who asks… “my mom & I came here to visit my nephew & got a place soon after while I then went to KY for three months, before going back to CO for two months before moving here June 4, 2023 & blah blah blah found out my _______ passed away while I was still in KY, that was a hard week blah blah blah memorial blah blah blah…” anyway I’m sure you get the point. But I never self scripted what I say it’s just the order of events that occurred & how I explain it since I moved… 🤷🏽♀️
6. Stimming: twirling my hair if I’m bored or nervous… or I just do it unintentionally while watching something. And I may bounce my leg in extreme cases when I’m nervous & more so if I’m extremely stressed out.
7. Sensory sensitivities: I can NOT wear jeans or really any pants that have zippers (but jeans especially, it’s the denim) & even pants in general can be extremely uncomfortable, more so when sitting down, I can’t deal with the feeling when pants inch up & the back inches down - so I always fold the front of my pants & hold the back as I’m sitting down (which can get pretty ignoring). The feeling of tags, gotta cut the tags off my clothes. Certain foods, texture, smell, & sometimes taste… I cannot do bananas (can tell if something has even a little banana in it). The sound when people crack their knuckles, neck, back, etc. (really just any sound relating to bones cracking). Wearing socks, the feeling after wearing socks for a while, my feet feel constricted or the seems bother me inside the shoes & speaking of shoes… when you have to tie shoes (especially sneakers) I hate the feeling when one side feels tighter or looser than the other & I find myself constantly having to re-tie my shoes, so much so I don’t get anything done ~ I try to avoid shoes with laces at all costs. There’s more but I can’t think of anything else…
8. Mental health issues: not sure if I have other things besides Asperger’s, I mean I definitely could but was only diagnosed with Asperger’s as a child. 🤷🏽♀️ Wonder if there’s a disability where you get so burnout that having a job makes you feel trapped & feel like you can’t do anything else whatsoever after work for multiple days… plus not being able to fall sleep fast… 🤔
9. Struggling w/ empathy + alexithymia: I feel like alexithymia sounds a bit like me too.
10. Connecting w/ neurotypical: yup, yup, yup… part of that is that it’s hard for me to remember names, I could remember someone’s face but not their name or remember their name but not their face… 😮💨
I'd love to see a part 2 of this video (and 3 and 4 and 5...😉)
Thank you!❤
Thanks for your videos, they are so helpful!❤ You said you like questions, so this one came to my mind:
What happens after you understood your emotion? For example, you were given a gift and you don’t know how you feel about it, but in to days you realized you're happy about it. Do you experience this happiness in that moment, or do you realize that the thing you felt before that was happiness? Do you feel the urge to express this emotion?
I think some of us are 5% autistic. Speaking of myself. Not enough traits to be a diagnosis. Do you communicate easily with children? (I do.) If so, maybe autism is in a way being like a child? I was shy when I was a youth, but not with friends. That can be from the way you are raised too, and genetic, (supposedly) but it could have been an unknown autistic trait also. How can you tell between a shy kid and a lightly autistic kid? Maybe there's no such thing as shyness in other words? Or shyness could be because of autism? (If you have trouble with communication, you adapt by not communicating.) I don't do well with non-verbal communication. Both sending and receiving. I don't smile much - poker face. So that's definitely one checkbox for me. Especially with women -- I have often interpreted interest cues from women too late to do anything about it. Training yourself in a mirror was an amazing idea. Masking could be seen as improving?
From a parents’ perspective, your videos help tremendously!! Yes, to part 2! Thank you doesn’t even come close to my gratitude for your wisdom, advice, knowledge, and experiences. Thanks again for sharing!
The empathy one is relatable, I never know what to say when someone is upset. I’ll usually sit by there side and say its okay. Sometimes feel how they’re feeling (probably not in the same excact level as them) and sometimes I’ll have no idea what to say or what they feel.
So is the communicating with others. I won’t interact with someone I’m not comfortable with. I have a friend group but I’m not the most engaged at times. I do have a bestie who might have ADHD which could be why we get along alot? But still I’m not the best at communication with people I’m unfamiliar with
I remeber when i finally found a pair of sweatpants i liked. I wore them for YEARS even when they started to reach my ankles. Then i realized its time to put them away. Years later and they are STILL in my closet 😅😂
Ever since I was little I had two special interests, spiders and trains. Spiders mainly now, my pet tarantulas are everything haha. I have a handful of friends but I'm not great at connecting with most people.
Hey... I have question... When I talk with people I don't know well I try to agree with everything they say and I do that naturaly... Can it be masking?
MY sister lost HER toy and she loved it so much. And guess what? | started crying 😅
neurotypist = evil = generation 1.0
A / AS = angel = generation 2.0
Holy shit, you're so beautiful and intelligent. Lucky for you to be diagnosed early.
When I got my drivers license the instructor said I had a “poker face”. I don’t do much facial expressions or just gestures in general. I’ve twirled my hair all my life I think or as long as I can remember. I hate clothing tags or tight necks. I never wear jeans these days! I’m 37 undiagnosed but am gonna see someone about this.
I literally have every one of these traits, and no one will believe me when I tell them I think I’m autistic. It so fricking frustrating!
Would you ever do a video about ADHD? 🫶🏻
Yes!! I have a couple videos in the works about all things ADHD like how autism and ADHD overlap and coping with my ADHD brain☺️
Thank you so mutch! You really help me understand my life a little bit more
ps. I would love a part 2
Yayyy I’m already in the process of scripting it😊
Hello I enjoy your video ^-^ and please do a part 2 that would be so great.
OMG and its the worst when someone goes in your room and even just moves a pencil 😤
Hi, I love this video so SO much 😊 (but that door is seriously bothering me can you close it 😅). I used to literally HATE jeans as a kid. But how, since they are considered cool. I started to wear them, now I'm thinking, yay I finally like them! But no. Because when I finally change into something else I just melt. Could this be part of masking?
Also, my mom used to make me do these photoshoots, and you could not get me into ANYTHING 😅
1: I actually don't mask, even though I'm autistic. It's probably because I was never really told how weird I was, or how unproachable I seemed. My mom also never pushed me so that's probably another reason too. And I'm also not insecure either, I'm actually quite confident in myself. Of course I'm scared of meeting new people and I'm a little insecure about how I present myself, but I don't let it make me super insecure. I didn't even know that other autistics masked tbh, but honestly that makes sense now cause this one kid who's also autistic always copies everyone. I didn't really mind it, but a lot of other kids never really liked it.
2: I don't really understand what non-verbal communication means, but if I understand what this means then I suppose I experience that. I don't really understand certain things that people say. Like, if someone's being sarcastic especially I can't tell super well. But I've also never been told that I'm doing anything wrong or that I'm the problem. I think it depends on what you mean, but I don't think I have a lot of troubles with communication. I'm also pretty good at understanding what emotions people are feeling. Somehow I just know, and I usually can also tell when people are lying to me. Sometimes I won't understand why they are mad though, or why they are experiencing these emotions. But I definitely do know that I especially can't relate to a lot of girls because of this. You know how a lot of girls often like to hint their emotions, or if they are in a relationship and they ask or do these ridiculous things to make sure that their person is right for them? Yeah, I don't understand that at all. Like, if you are upset girly, then just tell me. Idk about for other autistics, but I for some reason just don't find a lot of girls who I can personally get along with because of this.
3: I actually do have problems with this. For example, the day before yesterday I already planned when I was going to take a shower and I planned it for Saturday(today). Yesterday my mom told me I need to take a shower today, and we got into a little argument about it. Either she forgot that I needed to take a shower or she just let me win, cause I took my shower today. But whenever I plan something I planned it to have a sense of control, and if I have to reschedule what I planned it might take a while for me to recover. And I also especially plan because for me, if I'm not motivated to do something I'll likely not do much of it.
4: Ohh, yes, I experience this quite literally. I have a lot of hobbies and interests. But the ones I love the most are especially my phone, but it's not just my phone, I love to watch UA-camrs that I will probably be loyal to till I die(such as Aphmau, God I love her videos or other UA-camrs such as LaurenZside, JayPlays, and of course you too Morgan I absolutely love your videos especially your traveling blogs they are really entertaining!) I also especially love to listen to music. I could never get bored of music, it's the one thing that helps me calm down and to concentrate. I also have a huge love for wolves, they are my favorite animals and I absolutely love learning about them. And I love them so much that I even play a game where you play the life of an actual wolf(Wolfquest 3, some of you might have heard of it) I also really love sweets and food that I love. I even have a few TV shows that I like to watch when I'm by myself. I'm also into astrology too, and a lot of people my age aren't into those things.
5: I definitely don't do self scripting, simply cause I just don't like to bother about when I talk to someone. Usually Im just by myself anyway, and I'm honestly okay with being by myself. If someone really wanted to get to know me they would talk to me first, so I'm not making the first move to talk to someone I don't know. It's not that I can't talk or say "Hi" I just prefer someone to talk to me first. Usually I'm just by myself, so I assume that if no one talks to me then either they are assuming without talking to me first or they just don't like me or notice me.
The rest of the traits will be written under my own comment btw
6: I actually don't stim pretty often. I don't even fidget at all. There was only one time I did stim and that was during 7th grade and it was only because we were waiting for the teacher to call our line over for something, and I was at the front of the line but I wasn't paying attention and you know how when everyone is impatient and then they all yell "OMG GOO" yeah I didn't take that very well and it literally affected me for the whole day. The worst part is that this was during a practice during chorus and after school was over I had to attend a chorus thing for Halloween, and of course it involved singing so I had to try so hard to not cry. And whenever I got the chance I would just rock back and forth or I would fidget my fingers or sway in place.
7: I experience this a lot. I experience this quite severely, my senses are very sensitive(especially my hearing, taste, and sense of smell). The worst for me are loud noises(such as a crowded building, screaming, or fireworks), food(especially soft, too bland or too flavorful food, and vegetables and fruit. I also don't like sauces), and I absolutely cannot stand too many food smells or anything like that. My sense of smell is so sensitive that I can smell multiple things at once and I can smell a lot of smells for miles, sometimes even days. Clothing depends, I can handle most clothing as long as it's soft, airy, or loose. I'm actually fine with jean shorts, but I can't stand jean pants. Unfortunately I just can't find jean shorts that fit me cause I am quite overweight.
8: I actually did experience this before I was even diagnosed with autism. When I was little my mom did try to get me checked for autism, but they only checked me for having anxiety, OCD, and processing disorder.
9: I actually used to not have any empathy at all. If you have watched Young Sheldon or The Big Bang theory, then you would probably think of me very similar to Sheldon Cooper. I used to have zero empathy, and I did think more so about myself but not because I was trying to I just didn't understand empathy. Now I consider myself pretty empathetic, I actually did build up my empathy myself. I'm not super empathetic to the point of very forgiving, but I am more empathetic now.
9.5: huh, I actually don't experience that. I can actually respond pretty quickly, I'm pretty straightforward and know myself pretty well enough that I don't need to process anything.
10: This is very true. I personally don't lack at friendship and I understand what friendship is very well. But it's actually not really me, it's always non-autistic people that misunderstand what I say or think I'm meaning something entirely negative or different when I'm not. I've had a lot of friendships in the past, but either it didn't work or I just ended up on the outskirts. Now it is very hard for me to maintain friendships, mainly because I don't put myself out there in fear of people I don't know.
I am not diagnosed because i dont have the ability to go seek a professional but I relate to all except routine
Now routine is a bit complicated for me , i dont plan things for the entire week cause i know that i wont be able to follow it and it will upset me so i plan day by day instead
But i dont follow the specific time that i planned to get the things in my day done , but i rather follow the same order without worrying about the time
Another great video! I have spent my entire life scripting my conversations. Phone calls are awful! My life also was learning how to "be normal." I now know that what people were trying to teach me was how to mask who I really am. As a manager, I had HR departments give me books on how to relate to others, the 5 languages of appreciation, and other neurotypical things. They always made me feel like I was broken. In reality, I was just struggling because I was autistic and they were trying to make me to not be that way. Now that I know that I am autistic, I know that what they were trying to do just would not have worked for me because there was no way that I could interpret the non-verbal communication that was going on around me.
Luckily, now that I have a diagnosis of autism and ADHD, I am more able to advocate for myself. I am now in a job that is much better suited for me with an understanding supervisor who wants to help me, not change me.
i was diagnosed w autism as a toddler and even then ive been thru hell bcus of it. couldn't live a normal life growing up and have always been misunderstood. i also have adhd, anxiety, depression, ocd, cptsd, and bpd. and ive struggled with internalized ableism before too
Love this video!
This video really provides a clear understanding of traits of Autism, and in a way that can be easily understood when sharing with my neurotypical friends/ family
A part 2 will be awesome 😊
My son(23) is autistic, so these are things I have known a long time. But I was just thinking, and realised that I don't notice most of my facial expressions, they're automatic. I also don't notice that I'm reading other people. Not unless someone calls attention to it and asks how I knew what they meant. I'm not overly good at reading people. But my Mum was amazing and I used to often wonder how she knew things.
Is it normal that some days I feel more autistic than other days?
I think I know what you mean. Some days I am accommodated and I feel like I can do anything. Other days my needs aren’t being met and I feel extremely disabled. It causes me to feel extreme imposter syndrome
@@morgaanfoleyyes same this is exactly what I feel
Just wanna say that sometimes I use your videos as background noise because there is something very calming and satisfying about the way you talk, it's like a tone idk. Ty!
Sociopaths also do masking.
Hi Morgan! I love your videos, they always make me happy
Awww that makes me happy!!🥰
Hi Morgan, just wanted to say thank you for all you do. I got my diagnosis last year at the same age you did, and watching your videos helped me so much. I had never related to anything so much before and it made me feel not alone and helped me realise so much about myself. Thank you
As for diagnosis, I got diagnosed Asperger's in 78. in 1993 I got diagnosed Dyslexic yet I can read very well. I just write and use wrong words and miss words. So it went unnoticed in school till I hit college years. Then 2018, high functioning anxiety which I've now got handle on. I think the high functioning anxiety comes from decades of masking and being forced to mask through punishment as a kid.
Admittedly, I don't know if I am or not. While I relate to a few of these, I don't know. A lot of my family has agreed and think I could possibly be an undiagnosed autistic. (They ain't malicious about it though. All they've done is observe, so it's okay.) While it would explain a few things, I don't want to think that I am, because then I'd basically play "Pin The Tail On The Autism" and just blame it for everything, even potentially using it as an attention getting scheme. I can almost guarantee I'd do that, so I effectively don't WANT to be autistic. That, and I don't think it would help me or has helped me before. I dunno. I got mixed feelings about this. I just feel really weird.
1.masking: maybe
2. non-verbal communication: yes
3. structure and routine: yes
4. special interests: yes
5. self scripting: maybe
6. stimming: yes
7. sensory sensitivity: yes
8. mental health issues: maybe
9. struggling with empathy(NOT lacking): yes
9.5. Alexithymia: maybe
10. connecting with neurotypicals: yes and maybe
💗❤💖💝
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s at the age of 12. But throughout my life I ended up questioning whether if that was what I actually have. I ended up looking up what exactly Asperger’s syndrome is and then of course I ended up having a book about it almost tossed at me lol but yea after doin that I was like wow that is not who I am at all. And to this day even my sister can tell that that’s not what I have either, think I am on the spectrum in a way but at a higher functioning level and then my sister looked up something called Borderline intellectual functioning and I read it and was like wow now that definitely sounds like me so yeah. @Morgan idk if you’ve heard of that before but I have been enjoying your videos so far and I definitely feel like I can relate to you as well🤠
I know where your coming from. I also am an aspergers boy who was diagnosed at 12. The doctors put me down as high functioning too. I think I will need to have a look into what you said. I think lots of people were misdiagnosed with Aspergers and it would explain how I don't feel like a typical Autistic person nor an Allistic person. I used to be someone who could make friends easily up till secondary school when the trauma of joint secondary school did lead to my diagnosis. I also was late developing my speech and remember doing speech therapy as a child to encourage me to speak. So much built in trauma.
@@mikebereziuk6041 it’s awesome to meet and know that there’s someone else out there that understands where I’m coming from Man. But yea absolutely give it a read and who knows it might help you out a little further. Yea I think like Morgan said we tend to do a lot of masking to fit in and I 💯 agree cause I did that a bunch throughout my school year and even sometimes now in my church group and it can get pretty tiring for sure.
I don't always do it, but dude, the rolling eyes back and forth thing honestly feels really cool. There's just something oddly satisfying about stimming, I don't even know how to explain it. Hmm, although I also blink while rolling my eyes back and forth.
Another great video that explains my 16 year old daughter to a T!! Thank you she shared this with me so I can understand her better. One thing my daughter and I have been wondering is do you have Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome? Autism, ADHD and several other comorbidities go along with the condition and we noticed you seem to have hypermobile fingers. So many things make sense for my daughter with her diagnosis. She also has POTS Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome.
Hahaha yes I am hyper mobile and i suspect that I have EDS but I haven’t been screened for it. I get asked that a lot because it’s really obvious the way my fingers bend back. My full diagnosis list is autism, adhd, dyslexia, anxiety and depression. I don’t have POTS but I know that is a common comorbidity as well.
I am truly loving your videos and even though I’m much older you are speaking my life and experiences!!! lol😂😂😂😂😂feels really good to know I’m not alone. We need a forum!! Lol
Great video, I'm 43 and was recently diagnosed with ASD, General Anxiety, Social Anxiety and MDD. My stim is mainly rocking and I used to bang my head repeatedly on the wall as a baby. My mom and I have always suspected Autism but, like you mentioned, the doctors never considered it. It's nice finally having that diagnosis and receiving therapy for all of my disorders. I relate to your content and appreciate what you do, thank you!
I'm not sure if I'm just weird or autistic. I've pretty much embraced my weirdness though, by that I mean I just try to act like myself. Still do kinda hide in social situations though. Some people also call me a robot lol. Some people also laugh at me when I barely say anything, some say it is because I'm so nonchalant. Idk. Only way to have a high certainty of knowledge is to get a professional test.
I love you content so much. I would LOVE a part 2
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing might exlplain why your eye movement stims are so soothing.
You, Morgan, explaining the traits in such a relatable way continues to be a real eye opener. As was the short about literal thinking. "No, I don''t flap my hands, so no, no repetitive movements", while spinning the pen.
"The big fancy doctor lingo" and taking the questions in the autism exam too literally are the reasons that led to the doctors withholding my autism diagnosis. "It wasn't easy and the traits are certainly there. But in the end your score was just a little bit too low, so we diagnose you with obsessive disorder instead." I should probably ask for a second opinion.
So a big thank you for your videos, Morgan.
Really appreciate these, thank you for sharing. Received diagnosis at 29 after half a dozen attempted lives unraveled before my eyes. Still struggling to unmask and emerge after creating a rift between what I thought were friends and even close family over misunderstandings. Generally avoid absorbing information like this out of fear of concretizing my mask and making it that much more difficult to seek community, but wanted to let you that your perspective has done the opposite in that it has made me feel more human and able to let go of some of that rigidity. Hope that makes sense. Keep doing what you're doing! Normally I would never press enter and consider simply typing these thoughts to myself to be enough. No more looking back. Here's to letting go
I actually know you from tiktok and was shocked at how expressive you are in this video and then when you explained that you were masking your facial expressions, I just frickin related to that.
I have a little cousin who's autistic (he's like 7) and it always surprises me hos easy it is to get along with him and keep up with all his thought process. Yet another reason I suspect I have autism 😅
It is not just the social sciences that autists have special interests when studying. I have always been interested in ecology from my upbringing as a Native American. The interconnections between society, rivers, land, and animals, aquatic creatures, arachnids, and insects in our environments. Being told and having oral stories talk about this interconnectedness. So, I went to university, first with the idea of my first love of math, then understanding that I could apply t his math to other scientific fields to finally end up studying ecosystems within hydrological systems, eco-hydrology. I know of other autists that are doctors, computer scientists, and other scientific fields. This is why New Zealand and it’s not accepting neurodiverse immigrants is cutting off their nose despite their face. Many scientists that they lack are neurodiverse. Yet they cannot help with their shortage, since they are not allowed into the country.
Masking, I sucked at and basically refused to play the game as a kid through most of high school. I then wanted a job as a math tutor, but my boss gave me a weeks trial to see if I could approach strangers to help them. He had seen me in the tutoring center for months barely having the courage to speak with anyone to ask for help. So I learned to mask quickly. I told myself these people are just afraid of asking a question as me approaching them. I scripted approaching them for days before I started as a tutor. I got better at it with each passing day of work. I got to keep the job. I used these masking skills later when I was promoted into a sales position even though I did not want it where I worked before moving to Denmark. I learned to mask because I had to in order to earn a paycheck.
Former co-workers said they thought I would be a witch with a b to work with because of how mean and unapproachable I looked, so I was terrible at non-verbal communication. Being AuDHD, yes I have my routines, but then again, I am quick to veer off when I see the first squirrel that captures my interest.
Oh and my stepfathers family, who are all extroverts, thought I did not care when my dad was dying. I had to hide outside the room because they thought having a party at his death bed was the thing to do, and plus I was soaking in everyone’s emotions like a sponge. My brother, who studied social studies understood what I was going through and talked to me outside of that room, to keep me from going to a meltdown from the shutdown I was in.
I have been suspecting that I'm autistic for a while now, but I haven't gone to get a diagnosis yet. So here are my experiences with these traits. Enjoy this long text:
1. Autistic Masking
I used to think that all the masking stuff I do (like overthinking things I want to say to figure out if it will be interpreted as rude or not, and scripting out what I want to say beforehand so that I won't freeze up in the moment to figure out what to say and to figure out if it will be interpreted as rude) is something that everyone else does... but over time I've realized that it's probably masking and not something everyone else does. (I was taught a lot as a kid that I had to think before I speak, and I was for a long time, and still am, unsure if my masking is just normal thinking before speaking, or actual masking)
2. Non-Verbal Communication
I'm not the best at reading non-verbal communication, but I can understand at leas some of it. But things I have noticed that I struggle with is when people only say part of a sentence, and imply that I will understand the last part without being told it. Like saying "We are going to do X" ... I read that as them just informing me where they will be, rather than them trying to communicate this "We are going to do X, do you want to come with us?"
3. Structure and Routine
I don't think I have the most structured life filled with routines, but I do have some things I stick to, like always having the same thing for breakfast/lunch, always wanting to have taco on Fridays, and pizza on Saturdays, always walking the same way to work, etc. Also, I dislike it when something was decided last minute rather than in advance.
4. Special Interests
My interests are computer science/programming, Linux, and then some other random interests that show up and disappear every now and then. (My brother has actually joked that I do stuff related to programming every second of every waking moment of my day. I wake up and go to work, where I do programming, then I go home, and work on personal programming projects, or watch internet videos and other internet content related to programming.)
Back in school I had special interests for a few video games, usually only one at a time. The first one I can remember was for a video game called Superia, and I would always be talking about it to my friends, but after that game shut down my interests moved over more to Minecraft and Club Penguin.
5. Self Scripting
:) Yep. As said before, I plan out entire conversations in my head so I will have something to say, and make sure that I don't accidentally say something inappropriate. Everything I say may not be planed out in advance, but it's at least heavily planed out in my head during the conversation... which sometimes can make me stop listening in on the conversation.
The first time I called in to ask for a job, I had written out the entire conversation of asking for a job on a piece of paper so that I would know what to say, and that I wouldn't forget what I planed on saying.
6. Stimming
I like to make popping sounds with my mouth, and cracking my knuckles. I also shake my leg, but I often try to avoid doing it since people often get mad when I do it. Also, I'm not sure if this is considered stimming, but when I brush my teeth or I am waiting at the buss stop and no one is looking, I often walk in circles.
Back when I was in school I would often tap my fingers on the desk, or draw on my eraser. I also did some other stuff that in retrospect probably was stimming, but I'm too embarrassed to share them.
7. Sensory Sentitivities
I often notice annoying sounds (at least sounds that are annoying to me) before other people, and I find some stuff just horrible, like scraping your fingernails on bumpy plastic (I'm not sure what it's called, but there is a kind of plastic that some things are made of that have a kind of bumpy texture, and when someone scrapes their nails against it I hated it.) Also I hate bright lights, so at work I often have the light in the room I usually am in (a room with 3 cubicles, that usually only has me in it) turned off, I also have the ceiling light in my room always turned off since it is incredibly bright.
I don't think I have a lot of sensory issues with clothes, but I have some issues with it, for example for some clothes, the tags are really annoying, so now I prefer to use underwear that has no tags in it (it has the information printed on it instead of being on the tag.)
8. Mental Health Issues
Back in school, I was really depressed (or at least what I interpreted as depressed) and I didn't really enjoy living life, and it was only through luck and me being a coward that I am still here today. I think I'm doing better now, but I still have some anxiety issues related to social situations.
(I haven't been diagnosed or tested for anything, this is just stuff I have figured out on my self that I probably am having issues with, though I was tested for dyslexia as a kid since I was behind my peers when I came with reading and writing, but with practice I have become better at that, though my handwriting is still awful, and it hasn't really gotten any better now since I am mostly writing using a keyboard now.)
9. Empathy
I have always thought that I have been good with empathy...
and as a kid my mom I said there was no way I was autistic (it somehow came up in a conversation, I don't remember how) since I had empathy.
I'm not sure if I have sematic empathy since I don't really feel the emotions of others as if they were mine, but when someone explains how they hurt themselves, I kinda feel it as if it happened to me, and I begin to on repeat visualize it happening in my head... so I hate it when people explain their scars, etc.
9.5. Alexithymia
I have heard of this before, but I am still unsure if I experience this, since yes, I have some issues with figuring out what I am feeling, but most of the time (I think) I can figure it out.
10. Connecting With Others
I don't see much value in the kind of friendship other people seam to want, so I think I have some issues with connecting with others.
I value sharing of knowledge, among other things, so when I make a friend, it's often because I have a common interest with them. For example, last summer I made a friend (with someone who likely was autistic), and it was because we both had and interest in solving Rubik's cubes fast, so we would race each other, and we would share techniques for doing it faster.
Though I do from time to time want a friend that I can talk about more personal stuff to, but that isn't that often.
Autism, ADHD, CPTSD, Dyslexia, RDS .... what do I win?! :-)
I am a 37 year old diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder yet i finally felt it was time my mental health provider started looking into if i might have autism and inattentive ADHD. And funny enough the moment i asked for it to be checked my personal psychiatric health care giver (psychiatric nurse) said: ah it make sense then why the antipsychotics are working differently on you then on other schizophrenic people, cause lower doses often work for autistic people. I am now on 1/6 the recommended lowest dose for schizophrenia. But during a manic episode the same medication did not get me out of my delusions for a while they just made me less manic. They gave me 3,5 times the required dose. And i found out that my body takes in medication very easy and it was above my max dose for possible life threatening complications. I feel my manic psychotic episodes are really just a outburst for having to mask being both autistic and schizophrenic.
This was very helpful! I haven’t been diagnosed yet, but I know I’m autistic. My partner was diagnosed years ago, and we just get each other. But I have been diagnosed with anxiety, dyslexia, and OCD. I’m also Alexithymic. 😅
So somatic empathy is why so many people are calling themselves HSP and “empathy”…🤔?
It's not your fault. People should learn a little about autism. It's important to mention it's not the people's fault also! Videoos like these help. 🙂 BTW, my telepathy works difficult with you. But I'm just crazy.
10 out of 10 😅 my life experience parallels with everything you described ❤️
For me, masking was a bit weird. I realized at a fairly young age (but in school) that people actually were talking about me and having these weird expectations about me. Yet, for every opinion going one way, there was always a contrary opinion. So I decided worrying what others thought about me was entirely pointless and that for me conforming was probably impossible. If something I did got universal, consistent feedback then I'd modify it perhaps. For example, I took to saying, ""Greetings" when I entered a place because it did not really invite small talk.
Hi Morgan I am a twelve year old girl I found out I had autism and dyslexia my mom told me when I was ten and they knew I had it for a few months before they told me I would have been I think nine when they found out only a few people now I have autism and dyslexia I have a ten year old sister a seven year old sister and a four year old brother I haven't told any of them because I think they will tell other people I am obsessed with this book writter Rick riordan he has many different charters with dyslexia, I love swimming, water sports, your videos, Hunter of Artemis 4748, reading and Greek mythology I have a few friends with dyslexia and a friend with adhd you are one of my favourite UA-camr ever 💙💚💛💜❤💙💚💛💜❤💙💚💛💜❤💙💚💛💜❤💙💚💛💜❤💙💚💛💜❤
Dear Morgan!
I am into Human Design, and I see a lot of correlation between a personal chart and neurodivergency, as well as which place autism and neurodivergency takes in collective evolutionary process of humanity:)
I am autistic (undiagnosed)
but I cannot feel people's emotions easily and instantly, I need time for that. Curious to know, do you know about human design and what is your profile/ centers? :)
That tool (HD) shines clear light onto the picture of myself and helps me to better feel, understand and integrate different non-typicalities that I carry.
Thank you for your video, as it makes me see myself much more clear, too!
The delayed understanding of emotions thing also happens with CPTSD and learned numbness as a survival tactic. BTDT (not autistic).
And of course, growing up autistic also leaves one with trauma.
I think this is why it can be so hard to sort out high masking autism from trauma responses and personality disorders. Outwardly, they can look similar. Inwardly, they're totally different.
Hey, thank you so much!
Your video helped me to feel less lonely and less GUILTY of everything I did wrong
I never communicated with diagnosed people nor with psychologists, I'm 23 and it's been just like ~3 years I'm considering the possibility of having autism, my culture is still far from understanding and accepting it 😪
Some of the traits are nowadays fading away (or I learned masking them well enough)
I'm scared to actually go and ask a doctor, like what will happen if I get diagnosed in my country?? Or worse, if the doctor says 'Nope you are not autistic enough, all these things were actually your mistakes and defects'
You say you have autism, do you mean asperger's? Is it the same thing?
Speaking of empathy... Have you cried over someone who has died, or cried over a sad movie, or that you laugh over a funny movie for example.
Or if you se a an embarrassing situation in a movie, for example... That you feel embarrassed that person and want to cover your face when you see it, maybe you blush when you see it?
Or if you see a horror movie or an exciting movie when someone is involved in something dangerous, for example is close to falling off a house or being chased by a bear or the like... Do you get scared and tense and kind of want to close your eyes and kind of almost don't dare to watch?
That is, not to appear normal in front of others, but more that you also do it even if no one is watching you. Like genuine crying/genuine laughter, genuie embarrassed for that person in the movie etc?
Rolling your eyes may also calm your vagus nerve. Thank you so much! I think I'm AUHD.
It's funny, but you're the only videos i don't have to put on 1.75 speed!
I can listen to them at the normal rate and not get bored!
Perfect editing because i didn't even realize that you WERE editing. I thought it was just natural! ❤
Can u explain everything in my life? I very often don't get things because it normally doesn't make sense when other people explain literally anything, and for me, u explaining these things are so helpful to me, it doesn't take me as long to understand what ur saying or explaining, so, can u explain everything to me from now on? ( Just a joke, but if it ever came true it would be quite helpful )
I get “adopted” by extroverts all the time & really only know how to interact with them since they pretty much run the conversation. I haven’t made any friends with other autistic people (basically because I don’t initiate conversations), but I wonder how it would be interacting with them. My mask is to be all smiley & bubbly so that’s why I think extroverts are drawn to me! 😂 It’s pure delirium, I guess 🤪
You’re a fascinating person. You’re very articulate about the topic. It’s easy to understand. Now you say diagnosing it in females is difficult. By any chance do you know what those differences are? Perhaps it’s just as difficult to diagnose it in males, but in a different way. But because you’re not male. It’s not something you have information about it the same way. Are there different degrees of autism? Is there a scale?
Same thing happened to me. I had certain habits that I found out were autistic. People wouldn't approach me because they thought I was scary.
Idk ... but I love your facial expressions, and I do not think that it's masking.
Its definitely adorablilty.
"Holistic people just love to imply things without actually using your words." We're not trying to make your life difficult it's just that 1. some things are too obvious that it'd be silly to put in to words (except for autistic people, I guess lol) and 2. there are things that have more power if the meaning is implied like jokes, metaphors, a gesture of complicity with your romantic partner, and of course throwing shade lol.
Some of these things lose their power once you verbalize them. Like jokes not being funny after you explain them.
I'm not officially diagnosed but I don't know why because I've been always told by doctors i have autistic tendencies and I had a 504 accommodation plan from middle school through college and I could never really explain my diagnosis when I was asked by college professor's what the nature of my disability was. Was this something anyone else had a problem with?
So, seriously, some of this stuff isn't neurotypical?
Like specifically scripting. People just go through life without planning everything that could happen and how to deal with it???
What you have that's anything but an autistic trait is that insane positive energy!
I'm autistic and unfortunately I have none of that even through masking because currently I'm in desperate need of help training my brain to "open" itself and not do literally everything in its power to fkn isolate me from the outside.
Yes and yeeeees😅
Criminology & Social behavior is a mystery. So is travel. Even though I do research on the subjects of safety protocols for when I begin traveling... I bet your a master of catching crooks. Knowing the slick daddy & insidious tools of the trade with
those wanting to steal on You. Even though it's all a good time. Life's dangerous. & beautiful Women are taken advantage of feeling ni'eve, but your too smart. Id be thrilled the life You'll come to find
when you get to finally be satisfied. Sharing Your World in a life & being saved by an education will take You places so many truly fantasies about. You have already graduated college. So, What's your plan to collect savings for a get away?
I'm undiagnosed but I'm looking into screening now at 27yo, because apparently it isn't normal to be itchy 24/7 from your clothing and look down at all times when walking to avoid being overstimulated 😂 (among many other things obvs)
Super helpful, thanks for sharing your experiences with us, still struggling and possibly looking for a diagnosis. Its hard to put into words how much this helps.
I have this appointment coming up that I have been debating whether I should go or try to get out of and if I go how to handle it. And last night my boyfriend said to me "You're torturing yourself with your indecision. Just decide what you're gonna do. It'll be much better for you." And I was like "Wait. You can do that?" Because my brain doesn't do that. If I can't make up my mind I literally cannot. If I try to force it or toss a coin or something my brain will still go back and forth and contemplate the options. And now I'm wondering if that is a neurodivergent thing.
I'm not diagnosed but like 98% certain that I am autistic and/or ADHD