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Damn. I commented on the patreon post about not wanting to delete the dating apps and this was helpful/enlightening. I'm getting rid of them. Thanks Jordan.
I dated lots of dumbasses and abusers for years, and always thought "My best mate is a dude, he's a great man and surely there's others out there like him." 15 years later I learned there wasn't, he learned the same lesson and we figured it out and got together. Couldn't be happier, will always advocate for time and respect. If your relationship doesn't have those things you don't love each other, you're just enamoured and you may find out they're a dick.
@@zac8286 I doubt she told him that, I’m starting to think this has to be a tongue in cheek comment. People aren’t usually that self aware and I think it’s a pretty bad look.
The desire to shop around steals alot of time we could have spent happy in our lives. But to be fair, some people do just like shopping, in which case I guess they were happy the whole time.
Can confirm on writing down your ideal person in detail, not only does it give you a clearer understanding of what you are after. if you're lucky like me, it also comes into fruition 🥰
i have been using dating apps on and off for a couple years and its the most depressing thing ever. I like to think i am kind and well adjusted. Maybe im just ugly cos i barely get any matches and when i do i never get any replies. The whole thing is a scam that tries to get you to spend money. Does meeting women in bars even happen anymore cos idk what else there is. Also i keep hearing that you shouldnt try date within your work place either...
Yes, the dating apps are designed on the premise of "Swipe right for dopamine" as you constantly chase the dragon. Furthermore, unless you have a unreal amazing profile you will NOT get matches. From my experience, I got NO MATCHES. Then I hit the gym and most importantly got REALLY GOOD photogenic photos that make me look very attractive. I put this up on Tinder and behold my reward: About 12 matches a day and all of them revolting and without a slither of personality. These are trashy people looking for trashy life experiences. I filtered them out and still got 2 to 3 dates a week. Of those dates, none of them were interested once they realised I wasn't the super gigachad f*ckmaster that they thought based from my profile. I'm a environmental science graduate who is well mannered, adjusted and nice. I took them on coffee dates to a Botanic Garden, since it's a good place to walk and talk which relieves a lot of social awkwardness. Even if you are VERY attractive and popular within Tinder, if you are genuinely a 'real' person not looking for midnight clubbing and bed shenanigans, it still sucks. Go talk to people in person at your university, much more productive.
This was so interesting, especially the part about it being possible to change yourself fundamentally but most people won’t. Can you please make content elaborate on how we are able to actually identify our bad behaviour and traits.
It's all well and good to come up with "3 traits" but it doesn't do much good if there's literally zero options to choose from. For a man, it's a literal desert out there...
Yep for the bottom 50% of guys it's hard to even get a relationship going. Hypergamy is worse than ever and modern women expect more than ever. Women always want to keep their options open, especially when they're younger. So it's not really as simply as just deleting tinder.
Jokes on you, I don't have a relationship. Luckily though, I am not Gen Z. Just a millennial who has been dealing with the same antisocial issues that currently plagues this generation, since the 90's.
A fundamental ingredient of love is a some variation or permutation of the emotion "Fascination". There's plenty of ways to experience it and express it, but it does seem to be a key ingrediant. The movie Wally explored this expertly, by showing two robots falling in love merely because one of them is capable of being fascinated and the other respects them and learns how to do it, (In a nutshell). *Watch that movie and tell me those robots arnt in love.* I think there is an argument to be made that you can compare how capable you are of that against how curious you are in general. If your never curious, then your probably going to have a more low key habitual form of relationship service (not insulting that, love really isnt for everyone). But it does seem the love version from the movies requires curiosity. Further down that vein then, I think an interesting point that could be made is that caring about being cool, or becoming apathetic as a defence mechanism neuters your ability to do this. If you stay like that too long without protecting your inner child, it dies and you forget how to go back. At that point I dont even know what you do. Ive never seen anyone go back. Its horrifying to realize that as humans we are technically disposable. We fix ourselves to a degree, but mostly we just start to fail and eventually fail. The emotional capacity to do that is one of things you can lose. Tinder seems like the place designed to finalize that process of the loss of fascination.
As someone in a long term, very happy, stable relationship, my best advice to other women is 1) know your worth and don't settle, and 2) don't be afraid to be the one to step up and ask for what you want, some guys aren't brave enough to ask you out and they can be the best guys ❤
All dating sites, effed that’s why the dating pool is so bad like men have lost their confidence and how to ask a girl out because they think they need an act to do it, and women think they can just summon a man from a app so they can get lucky go back to old school fashion morals, asking a guy out or asking a girl asking for their number and just go back to that dating app. Crap it’s just crap
I was interested because I think you might successfully communicate a concept that people really need to hear on this one. Relationships arnt just **x combined with a horrific form of people stock market. Maybe I just summarized it myself there.
Re always thinking something better is coming along.... Isn't that being hopeful tho? Like having a positive attitude kinda thing? Without that mindset online dating is a million times harder to survive haha
My issue with relationships has been that I've dated/fucked/situationships etc. That I'm now completely disinterested in the act of obtaining a partner - I'd rather spend that time working or working on my craft instead of finding someone who will tolerate me, may even not even like me! Dating in western culture is extremely toxic and self fulfilling, and its all a form of stroking the ego, and i choose not to participate
General question, Is 20-21 too late to start *properly* dating. I want to spend about a year just getting myself to a standard I approve of. I’m not even like a loner or anything I’m outgoing but just feel too imperfect
It's never too late to start dating, there are people in the mid 30s-40s still with very immature and aren't taking dating seriously the most important thing you should focus on is building your self-esteem and ability to handle stressful situations especially with people. Then also think about what kind of partner you want (specifically emotionally, core values.) I don't recommend using any dating apps at all as they're a complete waste of time. Look to find people you connect with (i.e. get a long with, similar world perspectives and values) and then the more you build this you'll get dating options and serious ones as well as people take you more seriously as you're not some random on the internet you're a great human being who other people like.
That is baby years my dude. You're completely in the right and show you are a healthy and caring person to want to be you best self for your ideal partner
My man you have got sooooooo much time, not even close to being too late. Don’t stress about the time and focus on a healthy lifestyle and you will meet someone naturally. Good luck bro
It's not. if you are male: chances are it'll take like a year or two to find a decent partner with similar relationship goals. at 21/22 you'll find a lot of women getting out of their high school/early uni relationships who aren't yet actually ready for a proper LTR. hopeully you wont be the one she dates before she is in fact ready/decides she is.
Step outside of your comfort zone more and go experience challenges and adventures on your own. It'll test you, show you that you're more capable than you initially thought, and possibly give you the courage/certainty that you currently feel you're lacking. For me, that was travelling solo to the US for 5 weeks on my own at age 21, but it could even be something as simple as going on long hikes once a week or something else that you can do alone that challenges you.
Jordan, you’re close with definition for “chasing the dragon” but not really It’s when your first hit is so good, so you try more heroin, trying to recreate the feeling of the first, you try more and more hits until you inevitably OD from putting too much in your system
I really don't understand why these kinds of apps ever took off. I guess I can understand the appeal of casual sex, but people are looking for long-term relationships and shit on these? Do people actually ever actually end up in long-term relationships with people they met through dating apps? I know you're suppose to put your best leg forward when meeting someone new, but I don't think that should be your third leg, seems like a poor way to start things off.
Been seeing someone from Tinder for about a month after 6 months of flings and fucking that goes no where with a dozen different women. Im scared to commit and make it a relationship and i know thats what she wants but the 3 traits thing is good advise and has me thinking that she is good for me.
I am currently dating someone who is pretty, kind and caring. She is a dentist and has her shit together. The problem is she's super cringe. She meows in public (we can be in a packed cafe and she will start doing meows) and she unironically loves the big bang theory and brooklyn 99 etc. I think she has autism. Am I falling for the 'I can do better' trap by ending it with her? On paper she's super ideal but she is so god damn embarrassing to be around.
Certifiable Tism I'm afraid. Who cares about embarrassing, do you wanna grow old and think "I'm happy I didn't do this because some goblin across the street snickered at me"?
I'm sorry but this comment gave me such a bad gut feeling I had to say something. Do you even like her? Because it feels shitty to talk about someone you're even considering a long term relationship with like this. Do you think this woman deserves to be in a relationship with someone that finds her "so god damn embarrassing to be around"? I don't know you, but if I had to guess, I'd say you like the idea of being seen with her until she actually opens her mouth. Dating someone with autism isn't a life hack to get someone more attractive than you could otherwise. Do her a favour and leave. You will find someone else.
@@ryjkon For the record, there's zero proof that she has autism. She has never been tested. This is an opinion I've developed on my own over time, so to claim that I went for an attractive autistic girl as a lifehack is just false.
It's interesting the way you can list all these attributes of someone you're seeing like they're negative, and I can read them and go "wtf, she sounds fantastic".
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Relationships are so much more than intimacy. They also take time and effort, and that's a luxury these days
met my gf on tinder, we basically had this ocnversation on our first date, to this day i feel like i won the powerball
After 10 years on tinder i am comitting to staying in reality. same with social media. its frightening how isolated you can become.
Tinder is where people's sexuality goes to die.
The main thing I have got from social media is depression & increased hatred for humanity.
"Chasing the dragon" refers to smoking heroin off of a piece of foil, because as the smoke rises off the foil you have to chase it with a straw.
Damn. I commented on the patreon post about not wanting to delete the dating apps and this was helpful/enlightening. I'm getting rid of them. Thanks Jordan.
I dated lots of dumbasses and abusers for years, and always thought "My best mate is a dude, he's a great man and surely there's others out there like him."
15 years later I learned there wasn't, he learned the same lesson and we figured it out and got together. Couldn't be happier, will always advocate for time and respect. If your relationship doesn't have those things you don't love each other, you're just enamoured and you may find out they're a dick.
Probably a shame that you couldn't have gone for that guy in the first place, i hear that a lot. Happy you got together eventually.
Dang that dude has no self respect
lol he held out in the friend zone for 15 years? yeah good luck keeping respect for him lol
@@zac8286 I doubt she told him that, I’m starting to think this has to be a tongue in cheek comment. People aren’t usually that self aware and I think it’s a pretty bad look.
The desire to shop around steals alot of time we could have spent happy in our lives.
But to be fair, some people do just like shopping, in which case I guess they were happy the whole time.
New fear unlocked: The relationship goblin 😆
Can confirm on writing down your ideal person in detail, not only does it give you a clearer understanding of what you are after. if you're lucky like me, it also comes into fruition 🥰
Love how there was a bumble ad on this video.
Nevermind this definitely isn’t the video for me good luck fellas ❤
Hang in there champ 👍
@@palpaladin315 i meant as in I already know all this I thought it was gonna be a different kinda video lol
More people need to hear this, Jordie. Thanks for spreading the good word.
Can we have a video on how to meet people outside of dating apps?
i have been using dating apps on and off for a couple years and its the most depressing thing ever. I like to think i am kind and well adjusted. Maybe im just ugly cos i barely get any matches and when i do i never get any replies. The whole thing is a scam that tries to get you to spend money. Does meeting women in bars even happen anymore cos idk what else there is. Also i keep hearing that you shouldnt try date within your work place either...
Nah it's not exactly you. It's the 80/20 rule. 80% of girls go for 20% of guys. The real world is where it's at.
Yes, the dating apps are designed on the premise of "Swipe right for dopamine" as you constantly chase the dragon. Furthermore, unless you have a unreal amazing profile you will NOT get matches.
From my experience, I got NO MATCHES. Then I hit the gym and most importantly got REALLY GOOD photogenic photos that make me look very attractive.
I put this up on Tinder and behold my reward:
About 12 matches a day and all of them revolting and without a slither of personality.
These are trashy people looking for trashy life experiences. I filtered them out and still got 2 to 3 dates a week. Of those dates, none of them were interested once they realised I wasn't the super gigachad f*ckmaster that they thought based from my profile. I'm a environmental science graduate who is well mannered, adjusted and nice. I took them on coffee dates to a Botanic Garden, since it's a good place to walk and talk which relieves a lot of social awkwardness.
Even if you are VERY attractive and popular within Tinder, if you are genuinely a 'real' person not looking for midnight clubbing and bed shenanigans, it still sucks. Go talk to people in person at your university, much more productive.
Three characteristics is a great perspective- sometimes less is more
If there's one thing Aussies know, it's romance
This was so interesting, especially the part about it being possible to change yourself fundamentally but most people won’t. Can you please make content elaborate on how we are able to actually identify our bad behaviour and traits.
I laugh like Jordan does - when he reads something extremely stupid - every time I hear, "A better you starts today!"
It's so stupid! 😂
We are in a cost of yeeting crisis
It's all well and good to come up with "3 traits" but it doesn't do much good if there's literally zero options to choose from. For a man, it's a literal desert out there...
Yep for the bottom 50% of guys it's hard to even get a relationship going. Hypergamy is worse than ever and modern women expect more than ever. Women always want to keep their options open, especially when they're younger. So it's not really as simply as just deleting tinder.
That point on there not being alot of people that are worth being ina relationship with was so real hahahaha
I met my partner before Tinder was founded, neither of us have used it, I think we timed it well 🤣
She says she hasnt used it.......
@@jimijamesjowittyou're evil
That bit about the great northerns cracked me up hard ahaha
I've been using tinder for 3 months and not one date.
Back in my day people didn’t use tinder as a crutch to meet people
Jokes on you, I don't have a relationship. Luckily though, I am not Gen Z. Just a millennial who has been dealing with the same antisocial issues that currently plagues this generation, since the 90's.
A fundamental ingredient of love is a some variation or permutation of the emotion "Fascination". There's plenty of ways to experience it and express it, but it does seem to be a key ingrediant.
The movie Wally explored this expertly, by showing two robots falling in love merely because one of them is capable of being fascinated and the other respects them and learns how to do it, (In a nutshell). *Watch that movie and tell me those robots arnt in love.*
I think there is an argument to be made that you can compare how capable you are of that against how curious you are in general. If your never curious, then your probably going to have a more low key habitual form of relationship service (not insulting that, love really isnt for everyone). But it does seem the love version from the movies requires curiosity.
Further down that vein then, I think an interesting point that could be made is that caring about being cool, or becoming apathetic as a defence mechanism neuters your ability to do this. If you stay like that too long without protecting your inner child, it dies and you forget how to go back. At that point I dont even know what you do. Ive never seen anyone go back. Its horrifying to realize that as humans we are technically disposable. We fix ourselves to a degree, but mostly we just start to fail and eventually fail. The emotional capacity to do that is one of things you can lose.
Tinder seems like the place designed to finalize that process of the loss of fascination.
As someone in a long term, very happy, stable relationship, my best advice to other women is 1) know your worth and don't settle, and 2) don't be afraid to be the one to step up and ask for what you want, some guys aren't brave enough to ask you out and they can be the best guys ❤
All dating sites, effed that’s why the dating pool is so bad like men have lost their confidence and how to ask a girl out because they think they need an act to do it, and women think they can just summon a man from a app so they can get lucky go back to old school fashion morals, asking a guy out or asking a girl asking for their number and just go back to that dating app. Crap it’s just crap
Good to see you do a 180 on dating apps
I was interested because I think you might successfully communicate a concept that people really need to hear on this one. Relationships arnt just **x combined with a horrific form of people stock market.
Maybe I just summarized it myself there.
please discuss Tony Robbins appearance in Shallow Hal
Iv uninstalled all dating apps for a while now
Thanks mate.
Biggest flag when dating.
They have a tinder.
Dont go there
Did you smoke weed with the ex PM of Australia Kevin Rudd?
It does seem everyone is insane nowadays in regards to dating.
Re always thinking something better is coming along.... Isn't that being hopeful tho? Like having a positive attitude kinda thing? Without that mindset online dating is a million times harder to survive haha
Jokes on you, I'm too ugly to get a relationship
My issue with relationships has been that I've dated/fucked/situationships etc. That I'm now completely disinterested in the act of obtaining a partner - I'd rather spend that time working or working on my craft instead of finding someone who will tolerate me, may even not even like me!
Dating in western culture is extremely toxic and self fulfilling, and its all a form of stroking the ego, and i choose not to participate
just want to point out that dating in eastern cultures isnt any less toxic lmfao, just toxic in a different way.
Ha! JOKES ON YOU! I ruined them all before I ever hopped on tinder! hahaha!
The sudden change and turning into a gremlin one day is not a brain aneurysm ….. it’s drug induced psychosis 😂
Wassup jordie love from Canada🙏
General question, Is 20-21 too late to start *properly* dating. I want to spend about a year just getting myself to a standard I approve of. I’m not even like a loner or anything I’m outgoing but just feel too imperfect
It's never too late to start dating, there are people in the mid 30s-40s still with very immature and aren't taking dating seriously the most important thing you should focus on is building your self-esteem and ability to handle stressful situations especially with people. Then also think about what kind of partner you want (specifically emotionally, core values.) I don't recommend using any dating apps at all as they're a complete waste of time. Look to find people you connect with (i.e. get a long with, similar world perspectives and values) and then the more you build this you'll get dating options and serious ones as well as people take you more seriously as you're not some random on the internet you're a great human being who other people like.
That is baby years my dude. You're completely in the right and show you are a healthy and caring person to want to be you best self for your ideal partner
My man you have got sooooooo much time, not even close to being too late. Don’t stress about the time and focus on a healthy lifestyle and you will meet someone naturally. Good luck bro
It's not. if you are male: chances are it'll take like a year or two to find a decent partner with similar relationship goals. at 21/22 you'll find a lot of women getting out of their high school/early uni relationships who aren't yet actually ready for a proper LTR. hopeully you wont be the one she dates before she is in fact ready/decides she is.
Why would it be too late? Do you come from a muslim country where they marry at 16? that's not how it works in australia.
Could you make these podcasts by any chance?
Hey Jordies could you give some advice for mamma's boys? I want to move out but something deep inside me tells me I shouldn't
Step outside of your comfort zone more and go experience challenges and adventures on your own. It'll test you, show you that you're more capable than you initially thought, and possibly give you the courage/certainty that you currently feel you're lacking. For me, that was travelling solo to the US for 5 weeks on my own at age 21, but it could even be something as simple as going on long hikes once a week or something else that you can do alone that challenges you.
What happens if ur legal guardians stop you from doing as such ?
@@Ran_Do if you're over 18, there's not too much they can do.
Fun fact: The big head doesn’t overpower the little head until a man is into their thirties. 👍🏻
No, i just learned that u have a second channel 😂, not the dating sht 😂❤
Interesting take.
I choose to believe you're wearing Zubaz... RIP Animal 😢
Literally the pokies with sex
Jordan, you’re close with definition for “chasing the dragon” but not really
It’s when your first hit is so good, so you try more heroin, trying to recreate the feeling of the first, you try more and more hits until you inevitably OD from putting too much in your system
I really don't understand why these kinds of apps ever took off. I guess I can understand the appeal of casual sex, but people are looking for long-term relationships and shit on these? Do people actually ever actually end up in long-term relationships with people they met through dating apps? I know you're suppose to put your best leg forward when meeting someone new, but I don't think that should be your third leg, seems like a poor way to start things off.
A guy i used to work with met his wife on tinder. They now have 2 young kids and a mortgage together. Obviously an anomaly but I guess it can happen.
Looking for a husband. 👀💍
This is BS... Everyone is "nice" at the start......
Been seeing someone from Tinder for about a month after 6 months of flings and fucking that goes no where with a dozen different women.
Im scared to commit and make it a relationship and i know thats what she wants but the 3 traits thing is good advise and has me thinking that she is good for me.
Nah, you just want all the tinder hotties for yourself.
Serious note though, yeah. Tinders shit, socials are shit. I need to get off them.
u da man
Sounding like a conservative mate!!! Well done!!!
I am currently dating someone who is pretty, kind and caring. She is a dentist and has her shit together. The problem is she's super cringe. She meows in public (we can be in a packed cafe and she will start doing meows) and she unironically loves the big bang theory and brooklyn 99 etc. I think she has autism. Am I falling for the 'I can do better' trap by ending it with her? On paper she's super ideal but she is so god damn embarrassing to be around.
Certifiable Tism I'm afraid.
Who cares about embarrassing, do you wanna grow old and think "I'm happy I didn't do this because some goblin across the street snickered at me"?
I'm sorry but this comment gave me such a bad gut feeling I had to say something. Do you even like her? Because it feels shitty to talk about someone you're even considering a long term relationship with like this. Do you think this woman deserves to be in a relationship with someone that finds her "so god damn embarrassing to be around"? I don't know you, but if I had to guess, I'd say you like the idea of being seen with her until she actually opens her mouth. Dating someone with autism isn't a life hack to get someone more attractive than you could otherwise. Do her a favour and leave. You will find someone else.
@@ryjkon For the record, there's zero proof that she has autism. She has never been tested. This is an opinion I've developed on my own over time, so to claim that I went for an attractive autistic girl as a lifehack is just false.
I think she sounds awesome just not awesome for you…
It's interesting the way you can list all these attributes of someone you're seeing like they're negative, and I can read them and go "wtf, she sounds fantastic".
I used to watch Jordan but then I found out he has problems with bridge goblins. Why are you making fun of bridge goblins?
Your channel has opened up my worldview since first click, im ashamed to be a westerner nowadays it’s a mess
why does jordan pretend this is a self help channel? it's clearly just reddit reacts at this point
Self help channel?, I'm just hear for the Entertainment.
Got here in the first 15 minutes 😎
last
How did you do this?