in this chaotic world we often feel like our vulnerability, sensitivity and gentleness is wrong, but hitomi always makes me feel like all of these things are actually a blessing. its okay to be the one who cares .
i love how you suggest "instead of offering advice immediately, try being curious and inquisitive" i've been conditioned to relate with others struggles with my past struggles and we just end up reflecting/projecting our wounds back to each other instead of arriving at a solution. it's important to be aware, but also to feel the feels and alchemize the emotions
Learning how to listen to understand and not to respond is one of my main goals for 2022. When I think I’m helping others by trying to respond to can be counter productive without me knowing it. I’m just trying to be a bit better everyday and this video is a great place to start 🧡
yes omg thank you! this video was PERFECT timing! i needed to hear this. as a 19 year old i feel like ive never met anyone who wants an emotionally intelligent friendship but ive discovered that that is what i need and crave. i need a space where we’re open and discussing especially since i feel like my feelings are so complex and can become so complicated for me when it comes to friendships. idk im rambling but thank you so much
I feel the exact same way!! really struggling to find people that i resonate with deeply and have emotionally intelligent conversations with. i would love a group of friends who aren’t scared to show their love and appreciation for each other. i’m sure that soon we’ll both find them though, good luck on your path!!
Thank you for this. My spirit is in the same place as a 19 year old with currently just one friend who has emotional intelligence. I’m so thankful for that. I know I’m gonna manifest more people like that and so are you!! What you think and feel is powerful!!!
Girl, you have no idea how much this changed my life. By doing this, I got rid of ppl who weren't respecting me, and now all the people around me are safe, and I feel so much happier and in peace, and so less anxious. Thank you.
I absolutely started crying so hard when you said "your feelings are valid when you're healing from your triggers and childhood trauma". I've done and said some not-so-kind things of which I take accountability for.
i'm so grateful for this! i'm autistic and an empath and it's hard when i keep being insensitive and not understanding people while feeling their full sadness from it. this is exactly what i needed, especially from someone as angelic and grounded as you. thank you so much, hitomi!
I didn’t even know you could be an empath and autistic. I’ve always had autistic qualities and I’ve always wondered if I was misdiagnosed with adhd. But I always thought I couldn’t be autistic if I am an empath.
this is healthy self awareness! you will definitely get to where you're aspiring to be, but also appreciate and listen to mistakes within the journey. They are always as important to observe and reflect on as well as thinking about what you wish to bring into your life and change
@@ashleymarie7052 it depends on the person. for me, my empathy is more where i feel everything they feel with all of me, and my autism is where i can't make sense of what they're feeling. so they work together to keep me in confusion, and i have to work on untangling these threads of emotions that have knotted up inside me
I don't even have friends that would receive being this vocal and intelligent. they would probably think I'm sounding like a therapist or TV, or being sarcastic.
it has been so disheartening to experience friendships where i try so diligently to listen and hold space and its not reciprocated. its a painful and yet healing journey to witness myself more and more and the deep desires i hold to feel seen, heard, and loved… and to let the people go who make me feel the opposite. thank u hitomi, ur videos help more than words could ever express
Yeah it’s hard when things are one-sided. I’m a stranger on UA-cam but I’m here to listen. Know that you are loved and cared for and deserve friends who put on as much effort as you do.
Divine timing! I’ve been trying to work on my communication skills. I have someone in my life that I recently tried to communicate boundaries with and it ended with then being super hurt and defensive. I want to make sure I’m doing everything in my power to come across the way that I want to, while also protecting myself. I need to rewatch this and take notes! Thank you so much for this video
this video is such a great resource, conversations are often so full of projection and defensiveness and these tools can help diffuse the tension and anger that comes from not being mindful
I subscribed to Hitomi months ago because deep down, I knew I admired her strength, resilience, and vulnerability. But I was also at a stage in my life where I was critical and (honestly) quite jealous of her ability to process her emotions so well and hold space for others :/ now that I’ve put greater effort into healing my own wounds and showing up for others, watching this video resonates so deeply. And it inspires me to do better. Thank you for looping the spiritual in with the practice of being accountable and communicating boundaries, Hitomi. This video is beautiful. I feel so lucky to be watching, and I feel happy for you on your journey. Thank you for sharing your reflections and experiences with us
I love when you were talking about the scale of introverted and extroverted I myself am extremely introverted and I find it very difficult to make deep connections with people because sometimes when I’m around them I’m just immensely quiet and I overthink the things I want to say. I always feel like maybe I’m not worthy or the things that I’m saying aren’t going to be important to them so why say anything. it is really hard for me because I want to be able to make the connections And allow myself to be vulnerable with someone and be my full self and show up thank you for making me realize this I’m going to try and show up for myself and know that the things that I say and I myself am worthy.
I'm studying to be in the mental health field right now and I thought it was cool that you mentioned reflecting! It is a skill therapists are taught to use to not only clarify and better understand, but also because studies show it makes the person feel comfortable and validated. Such a useful skill!!
I started watching this video a week ago and came back to it today, because I decided that these things Hitomi is talking about are really important. I didn‘t want to forget them after watching this video and jumping to another one. So I made some notes while listening to her in my journal, I will read through them until I feel like they are stuck in my head. And I will practice it in real Life. And I am so excited to see how the light will enter my life. Thank you Hitomi for sharing.
I work in a mental health hospital for children and SO MUCH of this video needs to be shown to HOW we need to communicate with these kids. THANK YOU making this resource accessible and useful for us
Hi, I just found you from your sleepover video with Leah's Fieldnotes. Your story and your journey resonated so heavily with me. I experienced really similar disempowerment with my sexuality growing up. To see how you have made such spiritual and emotional growth from these traumas and become such a wonderful person fills me with hope. Thank you so much.
"I have accepted the stories that have molded me into who I am and I'm going to continue healing them" -- I really needed to hear that and so many other lines you mentioned in this video! Adding this to my daily affirmations! I am so glad I found your channel and thank you for providing us with this community
You inspired me to actively build a strong sisterhood with other women besides my mother and my sister. I‘m now meeting lots of women that inspire me and I hope that we will build a stronger bond that is a sacred space for all of us. Thank you sm
I cannot tell you how deeply this video has affected me and has started a major shift in me. I’ve been trying to shift some toxic patterns I have about holding safe spaces for other people and not lashing out/ deflecting blame when I feel I’m being told ‘I’m bad’ ie. getting feedback. I was on the verge of tears and hung on every word you said this entire video. While I’m aware of a lot of these concepts something about the way you gently, clearly, and whole heartedly explained everything resonated so deeply with me. I feel inspired and much more equipped to make these changes in myself. I feel like you made this video for me. Thank you thank you thank you. From the bottom of my heart! I’ll be rewatching this over and over again. Sending so much love and gratitude!!
Thank you so much for this video, I’m genuinely grateful for your insight. Having grown up in an invalidating environment, I’ve become invalidating myself and your video is the first one I’ve come across that has offered a framework to set boundaries and also respect those of others. There’s a long way to go but this video gives me hope ❤️
i love the way you use your words, you have such a way with language and i love what you said about active listening, i find it so innate to respond quickly to someone sharing their troubles with me but you have reminded me to use our gift of listening rather than rushing to respond or give advice, thank you hitomi 💗
i just sent a text to a friend to be accountable for my words and to hold space for their feelings without guilt or shame, a lot of clarity came from the conversation we had and new boundaries were set. thank you for the video
Honestly, i feel like you're an alternate dimension older version of me helping current me through my present situations. Our timelines align and we're all reflections of one another as it is! I love you and value you so much and I am so grateful to listen to you! Thank you 4 the advice.
Hitomi, thank you for this gentle, heart-opening video. As someone healing from a long-term relationship where my boundaries were not received well, watching this makes me want to continue resting in my vulnerabilities and using them to reach deeper into my own heart, so that I may someday use that depth to meet others where they are at. Sending love.
I love that you talk to your male friends about how to hold better space and I would be so interested in a video about that topic. Also how you deal with anger about patriarchy...whenever I get triggert by the smallest things I feel this imense rage (often also turning it aganist myself, shaming myself for feeling anger) and I don't know what to do with it. If you feel like sharing your experiences and maybe some general anger strategies I would really appreciate that
How I have learned and believe there is no 100% safe space that one can create, just a safer space. There are always going to be moments where someone feels unsafe, even with a person who practices being safe for others, just because of personal triggers. It's perfectly normal to make a mistake and just as Hitomi said it's about taking accountability and healing together with the person who got hurt.
Oh wow Hitomi! In this "short" video you beautifully summarized what I've been discovering about myself and my relationships with others all my life...This is it. Well done. Wonderfully said. I wish I knew this and started practising years ago! Maybe I wouldn't have lost some people in my life...Or maybe I had to lose them in order to find myself, find my place, find You, understand many things.... THANK YOU BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
i feel that hitomi is a beautiful reflection of where I am as I go about my life/ spiritual journey.😌 In all the teachings we receive not only in theory but in lived experience. thank you for verbalizing what it is, what I need to hear in the right moments, I am grateful to have been aligned to this higher and heightening frequency, if you catch my vibe (:
I'm really glad that you brought up that last bit. Sometimes, on my journey on practising intimacy and becoming an openly loving and vulnerable person, I can feel very guilty for distancing myself from people who are not ready to share that experience or be more genuine and honest with themselves. I think it's very important to recognise in others the will to be open and vulnerable. And to, if it isn't there, not feel bad about leaving them on their own journey. Being loving doesn't mean being responsible for everyones (potentially, often harming) reactive emotions.
thank you so much for this video. i have a huge problem with “making things about me” when in my perspective i’m trying to be relatable so my friends/partners don’t feel alone. i’ve recently recognized this & it’s been a hard habit to break but i’m going to try these out next opportunity i have! love you Hitomi!
Thank you for this. I really needed this, I’ve recently had a past trauma that was brought up and ended up really triggering me and I ended up having a terrible meltdown that left my relationship with someone very broken. I’m feeling very lost, but this video really helped validate my own emotions. Thank you.
It REALLY helps to not offer advice immediately but to instead ask more questions. This is the only way I’ve actually been able to help my friends get through heavy situations and by the end of our talks they’re always left mind-blown but it’s because I simply guided them into resolving their own doubts and questions. Such a good tip.
this is one of the best videos I've seen regarding empathic beings communicating with others. I have struggled immensely with trying to communicate with my peers especially with my new mindset and you gave me so many tools to use. Thank you so so much x
Thank you so much! I was just thinking today that before my new roommate moves in I really want to set boundaries and create a communication plan for myself. In the past, I just swallow everything and feel both guilty that I’m being passive and guilty for having the feeling to begin with. Your example about rewashing dishes was actually really relevant!
I would love it if you could make a video about how to find connections with people who think similarly - prioritize self awareness and self growth, openness and love. I love and cherish my small circle but I would love some more connections outside of my romantic relationships and feel so stuck, I don't even know where to start
I really love and appreciate this video so much. I’m trying to be better my relationships and increase my emotional intelligence and you’ve brought up so many good topics and examples. My husband would get anxiety when going to new places or trying new activities and i would get annoyed and wonder why he’s acting like this… I didn’t know what I could do to help him… I would ask him “What can I do?” but he wouldn’t be able to think or answer me straight away. Ive changed the way I react to his anxiety in such a big way, I let him settle into the environment first and I rub his back lovingly and let him know I’m there with him whenever he needs me.
Hitomi is one of the few UA-camrs I watch. I love how I will intuitively be drawn to her channel. I needed this video such a beautiful reminder how to improve within my emotional intelligence. 🌷
I’ve been reflecting on the kinds of friends I want moving forward in life and the ideas shared in this video is such a validation in that direction. Love and blessings, here’s to healthy supportive relationships in 2022 ✨
I really really want a friend like you who is positive and loving, so I think I will try to be that friend to myself first. You inspire me so much thank you for a wonderful video.
Wow! I Love that story! I've always felt that many of the violent criminals are the very ones that need our compassion and understanding. Who and what made them into who and what they are? Can you imagine how powerless one must feel in their own lives to seek power over another in a violent way? It seems to me that these individuals are desperately seeking their own healing, but have no idea how to go about finding what they truly need.
Whenever I sit and decide to watch one of your videos it always always always connects to what is happening in my life in this moment and I think that’s beautiful because it’s almost like a synchronicity honestly in a way it is a synchronicity. Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for helping the collective
ugh i love your energy so much, I really can appreciate these things that you have learned because I also have learned them on the path I'm on and I want to be an advocate of emotional intelligence for people around me. I am such a fan of sharing with people the importance of big feelings. Living life to its fullest means feeling out your emotions fully.
This was such a great video, I feel like my emotional intelligence has grown a lot over the years of going through therapy, but this showed me that I do still have a lot of growth to make. This video was extremely helpful and brought things to my attention that I didn’t even realize I was doing. Especially growing up in an emotionally immature household it’s hard to learn by example so now I’m really trying to learn on my own. Thank you Hitomi.
I used to not know how to handle anger, but it can be very helpful, it protects you and shows when you experience that something is unfair or hurting you. I found it helpful to recognize why I'm angry, validate it and then USE the anger-energy to change my situation for the better! :)
She makes all the videos we need ,really what the world needs to hear, such insightful advice and I love that she addresses how both parties may be feeling
It is so so so important to take accountability for the impact that you have on others. Even if you don't think the things that you say and do are super important, you don't realize how much of an impact that you have on others. Love the video and thanks for the great content! It's refreshing to see UA-camrs that really focus on mental health and emotional intelligence.
U make my world brighter. Ur words are so tender and loving. I don’t really know what I would do without ur videos. Thank u for existing. U have saved my life
Thank you for sharing this! Its very sweet to hear your story and how NVC has supported you. I share NVC as a trainer, and as a spiritual practice, and it's the most powerful thing I've learned/remembered (since it's really in us) and I am so grateful to have found this too for healing, and for being able to offer empathic space and shared power in my family with my children! Thank you so much for contributing your experiences and your learning in a way I trust many will relate to. :)
I'm literally crying right now this was so beautiful! I was asking the universe for a better way to communicate my feelings to others and this was just what I needed 💕
Hi Hitomi! I'm so glad you're talking about Nonviolent Communication! It is the one book that truly transformed my life and I can't recommend it enough to others
i really needed to watch this video especially with having a difficult family dynamic and trying to manage everyone’s various levels of emotional intelligence. it has been easier for me to just lock myself away from everyone hold up in my room, but i realize that has created more pain for me and only prolonged the inevitable emotional growth we all need to undergo. i deeply appreciate every tip and offering you presented and i will use them well 💕
I love how it’s watching your story as you read it to us! Brings so much learning and comfort❤(the beginning) I loved all of this video, thank you I needed this and will rewatch.
i'm so grateful for this! I suffer of high general anxiety plus might be on other spectrums too and an empath.I love how you suggest instead of "you need to do this now to feel better. This is exactly what i needed, especially from someone as grounded and ethereal as you. thank you so much, hitomi!
I just graduated from DBT (year long intensive outpatient program) and they teach us an acronym called DEAR - Describe (the problem using facts), Express (your feelings about it), Assert (what you want out of the situation), and Reinforce (this will be good for x reasons) and it's basically the same thing, so interesting to see these same healthy communication skills taking form across different places in the world
You should be supportive when you can, but not by sacrificing honesty and self worth. Sometimes the truth hurts. When you combine EQ and IQ and then temper that with real compassion, your message will be what is needed at that moment. Going through life trying not to hurt people's feelings will destroy you in the long run.
Hitomi my sweet angel you are glowing and radiating even more love than usual in this one!!! Thank you for every single video you make, especially these sit down ones - I always look forward to hearing ur wisdom ✨🤍 thank u for what u said about accepting the stories that shaped you and choosing to heal anyways. As someone with a very similar upbringing as you it’s so inspiring to see how gracefully you are learning to feel safe in the world. I cherish you so very deeply ❤️
This video was something I completely needed. Currently going through a situation with a friend and you’ve broken it down into digestible content and steps that are easy to use to follow. I appreciate this!
emotional intelligence. something we can only wish we knew more about growing up making drastic decisions heading toward our near future! thanks for sharing, love your content Hitomi. blessings
Sometimes when I feel so overwhelmed and hurt, I struggle to have a kind conversation about my needs and my boundaries and start distancing myself and become mean to the person that hurts me. I think that comes from my childhood experience, there was no openness in my family, no safety and I dissociated a lot. I really want to change that and recreate my life. This video is the best reminder and assistance for me. THANK You Hitomi, really. ❤️
This was so beautiful and mind opening! I even took a few notes and sent this video to some of the women in my life. I am immensely grateful to you Hitomi!
Oh Hitomi, your videos are like medicine. This video was so helpful to me and brought me to some big epiphanies. I have lots of love for you and the content you provide, thank you❤️
great video hitomi. i love how you've made emotional intelligence and the spiritual journey so intertwined, they are truly one in the same. "what is your intuition really trying to tell you about this situation" love love love. you're the best!!
My mom is a NVC certified trainer!!! I've also read the book you were referencing, that story stuck with me so much. My mom raised my siblings and I with that framework and it has made such a wonderful impact in my life. She actually has a very small UA-cam channel about sharing her knowledge and teaching about compassionate communication. It's called Heart Connected Communication :)
wow you’ve really done it. this is so so helpful and has incredibly aided me to the next step i feel so called to take with a family member. it’s making me realize the importance of boundaries and the way wounds can arise from a relationship that has never made formal boundaries. and more than just this huge step i’m taking with a seriously wounded relationship but also with my friends and myself… every second of this was somehow immensely helpful and felt like a such a helpful and intelligent reading of my own. thank you so so much for sharing!
Omg I’ve literally been looking for a video to teach me empathy and how to be emotionally intelligent when dealing with others and this comes up on my tl. Thank you ❤️
in this chaotic world we often feel like our vulnerability, sensitivity and gentleness is wrong, but hitomi always makes me feel like all of these things are actually a blessing. its okay to be the one who cares .
yeeeees🥺
"it's okay to be the one that cares"... Wow, that spoke to my soul 🥺
yes!
So true ❤️
🥺🥺🥺
i love how you suggest "instead of offering advice immediately, try being curious and inquisitive" i've been conditioned to relate with others struggles with my past struggles and we just end up reflecting/projecting our wounds back to each other instead of arriving at a solution. it's important to be aware, but also to feel the feels and alchemize the emotions
this
Learning how to listen to understand and not to respond is one of my main goals for 2022. When I think I’m helping others by trying to respond to can be counter productive without me knowing it. I’m just trying to be a bit better everyday and this video is a great place to start 🧡
yes omg thank you! this video was PERFECT timing! i needed to hear this. as a 19 year old i feel like ive never met anyone who wants an emotionally intelligent friendship but ive discovered that that is what i need and crave. i need a space where we’re open and discussing especially since i feel like my feelings are so complex and can become so complicated for me when it comes to friendships. idk im rambling but thank you so much
You are not rambling 🥰, loved every word you wrote. I hope you find the right people 🌱
I feel the exact same way!! really struggling to find people that i resonate with deeply and have emotionally intelligent conversations with. i would love a group of friends who aren’t scared to show their love and appreciation for each other. i’m sure that soon we’ll both find them though, good luck on your path!!
Thank you for this. My spirit is in the same place as a 19 year old with currently just one friend who has emotional intelligence. I’m so thankful for that. I know I’m gonna manifest more people like that and so are you!! What you think and feel is powerful!!!
I’ll be that friend🙋🏻♀️🫶🏻✨🌈
can relate to this! it’s not easy to have to tread this journey alone but i’m sure we will all find the right people to bond with
"Staying in that situation out of compassion, can sometimes enable that situation even more ." Wow that part
Girl, you have no idea how much this changed my life. By doing this, I got rid of ppl who weren't respecting me, and now all the people around me are safe, and I feel so much happier and in peace, and so less anxious. Thank you.
This video changed my life too I literally come back to it every so often 😂🙏🏽♥️♥️♥️😌🕊🕊 so liberating
This us just another level of living. Imagine how will the world change once we all speak like that!
I absolutely started crying so hard when you said "your feelings are valid when you're healing from your triggers and childhood trauma". I've done and said some not-so-kind things of which I take accountability for.
i'm so grateful for this! i'm autistic and an empath and it's hard when i keep being insensitive and not understanding people while feeling their full sadness from it. this is exactly what i needed, especially from someone as angelic and grounded as you. thank you so much, hitomi!
I am so grateful to you for receiving this, and proud of the awareness you’re cultivating. You are so loved ❣️😌
I didn’t even know you could be an empath and autistic. I’ve always had autistic qualities and I’ve always wondered if I was misdiagnosed with adhd. But I always thought I couldn’t be autistic if I am an empath.
this is healthy self awareness! you will definitely get to where you're aspiring to be, but also appreciate and listen to mistakes within the journey. They are always as important to observe and reflect on as well as thinking about what you wish to bring into your life and change
@@ashleymarie7052 it depends on the person. for me, my empathy is more where i feel everything they feel with all of me, and my autism is where i can't make sense of what they're feeling. so they work together to keep me in confusion, and i have to work on untangling these threads of emotions that have knotted up inside me
I’m autistic as well and can totally relate!!
I don't even have friends that would receive being this vocal and intelligent. they would probably think I'm sounding like a therapist or TV, or being sarcastic.
„To me emotional intelligence feels like taking the information around you and alchemizing it“, WOW so beautifully well said !
it has been so disheartening to experience friendships where i try so diligently to listen and hold space and its not reciprocated. its a painful and yet healing journey to witness myself more and more and the deep desires i hold to feel seen, heard, and loved… and to let the people go who make me feel the opposite. thank u hitomi, ur videos help more than words could ever express
Yeah it’s hard when things are one-sided. I’m a stranger on UA-cam but I’m here to listen. Know that you are loved and cared for and deserve friends who put on as much effort as you do.
Divine timing! I’ve been trying to work on my communication skills. I have someone in my life that I recently tried to communicate boundaries with and it ended with then being super hurt and defensive. I want to make sure I’m doing everything in my power to come across the way that I want to, while also protecting myself. I need to rewatch this and take notes! Thank you so much for this video
this video is such a great resource, conversations are often so full of projection and defensiveness and these tools can help diffuse the tension and anger that comes from not being mindful
I subscribed to Hitomi months ago because deep down, I knew I admired her strength, resilience, and vulnerability. But I was also at a stage in my life where I was critical and (honestly) quite jealous of her ability to process her emotions so well and hold space for others :/ now that I’ve put greater effort into healing my own wounds and showing up for others, watching this video resonates so deeply. And it inspires me to do better. Thank you for looping the spiritual in with the practice of being accountable and communicating boundaries, Hitomi. This video is beautiful. I feel so lucky to be watching, and I feel happy for you on your journey. Thank you for sharing your reflections and experiences with us
I love your vulnerability 💯♥️
I love when you were talking about the scale of introverted and extroverted I myself am extremely introverted and I find it very difficult to make deep connections with people because sometimes when I’m around them I’m just immensely quiet and I overthink the things I want to say. I always feel like maybe I’m not worthy or the things that I’m saying aren’t going to be important to them so why say anything. it is really hard for me because I want to be able to make the connections And allow myself to be vulnerable with someone and be my full self and show up thank you for making me realize this I’m going to try and show up for myself and know that the things that I say and I myself am worthy.
same here -.-
I'm studying to be in the mental health field right now and I thought it was cool that you mentioned reflecting! It is a skill therapists are taught to use to not only clarify and better understand, but also because studies show it makes the person feel comfortable and validated. Such a useful skill!!
"I accept the stories that have molded me into who I am, and I'm gonna continue healing them." ❤ thank you, Hitomi
this is genuinely one of the most emotionally beneficial videos i've ever seen and this is so so helpful thank you so much hitomi
I started watching this video a week ago and came back to it today, because I decided that these things Hitomi is talking about are really important. I didn‘t want to forget them after watching this video and jumping to another one. So I made some notes while listening to her in my journal, I will read through them until I feel like they are stuck in my head. And I will practice it in real Life. And I am so excited to see how the light will enter my life. Thank you Hitomi for sharing.
I work in a mental health hospital for children and SO MUCH of this video needs to be shown to HOW we need to communicate with these kids. THANK YOU making this resource accessible and useful for us
Hi, I just found you from your sleepover video with Leah's Fieldnotes. Your story and your journey resonated so heavily with me. I experienced really similar disempowerment with my sexuality growing up. To see how you have made such spiritual and emotional growth from these traumas and become such a wonderful person fills me with hope. Thank you so much.
omg, that's how i found hitomi to!!!
"I have accepted the stories that have molded me into who I am and I'm going to continue healing them" -- I really needed to hear that and so many other lines you mentioned in this video! Adding this to my daily affirmations! I am so glad I found your channel and thank you for providing us with this community
You inspired me to actively build a strong sisterhood with other women besides my mother and my sister. I‘m now meeting lots of women that inspire me and I hope that we will build a stronger bond that is a sacred space for all of us. Thank you sm
I cannot tell you how deeply this video has affected me and has started a major shift in me. I’ve been trying to shift some toxic patterns I have about holding safe spaces for other people and not lashing out/ deflecting blame when I feel I’m being told ‘I’m bad’ ie. getting feedback. I was on the verge of tears and hung on every word you said this entire video. While I’m aware of a lot of these concepts something about the way you gently, clearly, and whole heartedly explained everything resonated so deeply with me. I feel inspired and much more equipped to make these changes in myself. I feel like you made this video for me. Thank you thank you thank you. From the bottom of my heart! I’ll be rewatching this over and over again. Sending so much love and gratitude!!
Thank you so much for this video, I’m genuinely grateful for your insight. Having grown up in an invalidating environment, I’ve become invalidating myself and your video is the first one I’ve come across that has offered a framework to set boundaries and also respect those of others. There’s a long way to go but this video gives me hope ❤️
i love the way you use your words, you have such a way with language and i love what you said about active listening, i find it so innate to respond quickly to someone sharing their troubles with me but you have reminded me to use our gift of listening rather than rushing to respond or give advice, thank you hitomi 💗
i just sent a text to a friend to be accountable for my words and to hold space for their feelings without guilt or shame, a lot of clarity came from the conversation we had and new boundaries were set. thank you for the video
ahhhh setting boundaries is SO SO hard for me! I understand the importance of it BUT IT'S NOT EASY AND I RATHER JUST STAY QUIET EEK
man oh man Hitomi, your videos are truly a form of therapy. thank you so much
Honestly, i feel like you're an alternate dimension older version of me helping current me through my present situations. Our timelines align and we're all reflections of one another as it is! I love you and value you so much and I am so grateful to listen to you! Thank you 4 the advice.
LOVE all of these ways to be a safe place, and the specific ways to hold boundaries!
Hitomi, thank you for this gentle, heart-opening video. As someone healing from a long-term relationship where my boundaries were not received well, watching this makes me want to continue resting in my vulnerabilities and using them to reach deeper into my own heart, so that I may someday use that depth to meet others where they are at. Sending love.
I love that you talk to your male friends about how to hold better space and I would be so interested in a video about that topic. Also how you deal with anger about patriarchy...whenever I get triggert by the smallest things I feel this imense rage (often also turning it aganist myself, shaming myself for feeling anger) and I don't know what to do with it. If you feel like sharing your experiences and maybe some general anger strategies I would really appreciate that
Your existence is a blessing, thank you for being so grounded in every video! You’re a good friend from a distance
How I have learned and believe there is no 100% safe space that one can create, just a safer space. There are always going to be moments where someone feels unsafe, even with a person who practices being safe for others, just because of personal triggers. It's perfectly normal to make a mistake and just as Hitomi said it's about taking accountability and healing together with the person who got hurt.
You have such a special, calming, healing aura about you. Thank you so much beautiful goddess
Oh wow Hitomi! In this "short" video you beautifully summarized what I've been discovering about myself and my relationships with others all my life...This is it. Well done. Wonderfully said. I wish I knew this and started practising years ago! Maybe I wouldn't have lost some people in my life...Or maybe I had to lose them in order to find myself, find my place, find You, understand many things....
THANK YOU BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
i feel that hitomi is a beautiful reflection of where I am as I go about my life/ spiritual journey.😌 In all the teachings we receive not only in theory but in lived experience. thank you for verbalizing what it is, what I need to hear in the right moments, I am grateful to have been aligned to this higher and heightening frequency, if you catch my vibe (:
Thanks! I really needed this! I can't tell you enough. I need a community like this. This is what the world needs.
I'm really glad that you brought up that last bit. Sometimes, on my journey on practising intimacy and becoming an openly loving and vulnerable person, I can feel very guilty for distancing myself from people who are not ready to share that experience or be more genuine and honest with themselves. I think it's very important to recognise in others the will to be open and vulnerable. And to, if it isn't there, not feel bad about leaving them on their own journey. Being loving doesn't mean being responsible for everyones (potentially, often harming) reactive emotions.
thank you so much for this video. i have a huge problem with “making things about me” when in my perspective i’m trying to be relatable so my friends/partners don’t feel alone. i’ve recently recognized this & it’s been a hard habit to break but i’m going to try these out next opportunity i have! love you Hitomi!
Thank you for this. I really needed this, I’ve recently had a past trauma that was brought up and ended up really triggering me and I ended up having a terrible meltdown that left my relationship with someone very broken. I’m feeling very lost, but this video really helped validate my own emotions. Thank you.
It REALLY helps to not offer advice immediately but to instead ask more questions. This is the only way I’ve actually been able to help my friends get through heavy situations and by the end of our talks they’re always left mind-blown but it’s because I simply guided them into resolving their own doubts and questions. Such a good tip.
this is one of the best videos I've seen regarding empathic beings communicating with others. I have struggled immensely with trying to communicate with my peers especially with my new mindset and you gave me so many tools to use. Thank you so so much x
Thank you so much! I was just thinking today that before my new roommate moves in I really want to set boundaries and create a communication plan for myself. In the past, I just swallow everything and feel both guilty that I’m being passive and guilty for having the feeling to begin with. Your example about rewashing dishes was actually really relevant!
I would love it if you could make a video about how to find connections with people who think similarly - prioritize self awareness and self growth, openness and love. I love and cherish my small circle but I would love some more connections outside of my romantic relationships and feel so stuck, I don't even know where to start
I really love and appreciate this video so much. I’m trying to be better my relationships and increase my emotional intelligence and you’ve brought up so many good topics and examples. My husband would get anxiety when going to new places or trying new activities and i would get annoyed and wonder why he’s acting like this… I didn’t know what I could do to help him… I would ask him “What can I do?” but he wouldn’t be able to think or answer me straight away. Ive changed the way I react to his anxiety in such a big way, I let him settle into the environment first and I rub his back lovingly and let him know I’m there with him whenever he needs me.
Hitomi is one of the few UA-camrs I watch. I love how I will intuitively be drawn to her channel. I needed this video such a beautiful reminder how to improve within my emotional intelligence. 🌷
I’ve been reflecting on the kinds of friends I want moving forward in life and the ideas shared in this video is such a validation in that direction.
Love and blessings, here’s to healthy supportive relationships in 2022 ✨
I love the way you articulate your thoughts and feelings, you express yourself so well, thank you for inspiring us to heal our own wounds. ❤
This video is gold, it’s so difficult to communicate when we are hurt or when we have hurt somebody, thank you Hitomi!
I really really want a friend like you who is positive and loving, so I think I will try to be that friend to myself first. You inspire me so much thank you for a wonderful video.
I feel so much appreciation for you! Hearing you speak makes me feel seen and connected. It's nice to know there are other gently warriors out there.
Wow! I Love that story! I've always felt that many of the violent criminals are the very ones that need our compassion and understanding. Who and what made them into who and what they are? Can you imagine how powerless one must feel in their own lives to seek power over another in a violent way? It seems to me that these individuals are desperately seeking their own healing, but have no idea how to go about finding what they truly need.
Whenever I sit and decide to watch one of your videos it always always always connects to what is happening in my life in this moment and I think that’s beautiful because it’s almost like a synchronicity honestly in a way it is a synchronicity. Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for helping the collective
"jumbled thoughts" literally so eloquent and beautiful and thought out. thank you for sharing your wisdom
ugh i love your energy so much, I really can appreciate these things that you have learned because I also have learned them on the path I'm on and I want to be an advocate of emotional intelligence for people around me. I am such a fan of sharing with people the importance of big feelings. Living life to its fullest means feeling out your emotions fully.
This was such a great video, I feel like my emotional intelligence has grown a lot over the years of going through therapy, but this showed me that I do still have a lot of growth to make. This video was extremely helpful and brought things to my attention that I didn’t even realize I was doing. Especially growing up in an emotionally immature household it’s hard to learn by example so now I’m really trying to learn on my own. Thank you Hitomi.
I can’t believe how much I needed this video, and complete perfect timing. I love how you can be my safe space 🌺
I used to not know how to handle anger, but it can be very helpful, it protects you and shows when you experience that something is unfair or hurting you.
I found it helpful to recognize why I'm angry, validate it and then USE the anger-energy to change my situation for the better! :)
She makes all the videos we need ,really what the world needs to hear, such insightful advice and I love that she addresses how both parties may be feeling
I love watching your videos it’s so important to stay spiritually aligned and give yourself time to process.
It is so so so important to take accountability for the impact that you have on others. Even if you don't think the things that you say and do are super important, you don't realize how much of an impact that you have on others. Love the video and thanks for the great content! It's refreshing to see UA-camrs that really focus on mental health and emotional intelligence.
U make my world brighter. Ur words are so tender and loving. I don’t really know what I would do without ur videos. Thank u for existing. U have saved my life
Thank you for sharing this! Its very sweet to hear your story and how NVC has supported you. I share NVC as a trainer, and as a spiritual practice, and it's the most powerful thing I've learned/remembered (since it's really in us) and I am so grateful to have found this too for healing, and for being able to offer empathic space and shared power in my family with my children! Thank you so much for contributing your experiences and your learning in a way I trust many will relate to. :)
Your voice is like a gentle hug for all. Can feel how beautiful your sacral chakra is glowing in your voice
So much wisdom crammed into less than 22 minutes! Thank you so much for this 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
It was such a beautiful reminder on how to communicate better ☕️🤍 Thank you very much ✨🧚🏻♀️
it would be cool to have a discord server to build friendships like this and improve themselves in general
Yes absolutely let's make that happen!
yes!!!
Yes!
I made one since no one else was taking the initiative 😅
@@Izziewizzie8 cool! Can you post or send us a link?
I'm literally crying right now this was so beautiful! I was asking the universe for a better way to communicate my feelings to others and this was just what I needed 💕
Hi Hitomi! I'm so glad you're talking about Nonviolent Communication! It is the one book that truly transformed my life and I can't recommend it enough to others
Very helpful for me, I’m learning to hold space in more high vibrational way for my man. Thank you.
i really needed to watch this video especially with having a difficult family dynamic and trying to manage everyone’s various levels of emotional intelligence. it has been easier for me to just lock myself away from everyone hold up in my room, but i realize that has created more pain for me and only prolonged the inevitable emotional growth we all need to undergo. i deeply appreciate every tip and offering you presented and i will use them well 💕
"The true Losers in Life, are not those who Try and Fail, but those who Fail to Try.”
I love how it’s watching your story as you read it to us! Brings so much learning and comfort❤(the beginning) I loved all of this video, thank you I needed this and will rewatch.
i'm so grateful for this! I suffer of high general anxiety plus might be on other spectrums too and an empath.I love how you suggest instead of "you need to do this now to feel better. This is exactly what i needed, especially from someone as grounded and ethereal as you. thank you so much, hitomi!
i so much relate on the introvertedness/feeling not worthy to be seen. you are so worthy and i appreciate this video so much
it’s an honor to be this early! i LOVE your videos
I always come away from your videos with a clearer headspace. Thank you for everything you share 💚
I just graduated from DBT (year long intensive outpatient program) and they teach us an acronym called DEAR - Describe (the problem using facts), Express (your feelings about it), Assert (what you want out of the situation), and Reinforce (this will be good for x reasons) and it's basically the same thing, so interesting to see these same healthy communication skills taking form across different places in the world
This is one of those videos I feel like I’ll come back to often. Thanks for sharing.
You should be supportive when you can, but not by sacrificing honesty and self worth. Sometimes the truth hurts. When you combine EQ and IQ and then temper that with real compassion, your message will be what is needed at that moment. Going through life trying not to hurt people's feelings will destroy you in the long run.
Hitomi my sweet angel you are glowing and radiating even more love than usual in this one!!! Thank you for every single video you make, especially these sit down ones - I always look forward to hearing ur wisdom ✨🤍 thank u for what u said about accepting the stories that shaped you and choosing to heal anyways. As someone with a very similar upbringing as you it’s so inspiring to see how gracefully you are learning to feel safe in the world. I cherish you so very deeply ❤️
Thank you for this
This video was something I completely needed.
Currently going through a situation with a friend and you’ve broken it down into digestible content and steps that are easy to use to follow. I appreciate this!
emotional intelligence. something we can only wish we knew more about growing up making drastic decisions heading toward our near future! thanks for sharing, love your content Hitomi. blessings
Sometimes when I feel so overwhelmed and hurt, I struggle to have a kind conversation about my needs and my boundaries and start distancing myself and become mean to the person that hurts me. I think that comes from my childhood experience, there was no openness in my family, no safety and I dissociated a lot. I really want to change that and recreate my life. This video is the best reminder and assistance for me. THANK You Hitomi, really. ❤️
every sentence she speaks is like a beautiful affirmation
This was so beautiful and mind opening! I even took a few notes and sent this video to some of the women in my life. I am immensely grateful to you Hitomi!
The ultimate sapphic lover 🌸
This is stuff that I have to pay at therapy for getting for free right now. So so good.
Oh Hitomi, your videos are like medicine. This video was so helpful to me and brought me to some big epiphanies. I have lots of love for you and the content you provide, thank you❤️
The amount of love I have for this beauty is infinite! Thank you so much, Hitomi for teaching me these important lessons. Much love!
your soul is so beautiful. thank you for helping me be a better me.
great video hitomi. i love how you've made emotional intelligence and the spiritual journey so intertwined, they are truly one in the same. "what is your intuition really trying to tell you about this situation" love love love. you're the best!!
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you Hitomi
My mom is a NVC certified trainer!!! I've also read the book you were referencing, that story stuck with me so much. My mom raised my siblings and I with that framework and it has made such a wonderful impact in my life. She actually has a very small UA-cam channel about sharing her knowledge and teaching about compassionate communication. It's called Heart Connected Communication :)
wow you’ve really done it. this is so so helpful and has incredibly aided me to the next step i feel so called to take with a family member. it’s making me realize the importance of boundaries and the way wounds can arise from a relationship that has never made formal boundaries. and more than just this huge step i’m taking with a seriously wounded relationship but also with my friends and myself… every second of this was somehow immensely helpful and felt like a such a helpful and intelligent reading of my own. thank you so so much for sharing!
Omg I’ve literally been looking for a video to teach me empathy and how to be emotionally intelligent when dealing with others and this comes up on my tl. Thank you ❤️
Damn girl! Dropping golden nuggets of wisdom left and right!