Cap, most of the gifted kids at my school make 100-200k/year as software engineers in their 20s or they are in medical school. You’ll peak in high school if you don’t apply yourself in the real world, don’t work hard, or choose a worthless major (aka most majors outside of STEM). If you can think past next week, you will make something of yourself. This applies to all people, but it especially applies to the gifted kids. For those who don’t feel like college is their thing, go to trade school and get into plumbing, electrician, or HVAC and make 70-150k/year. Or better yet start a business and make a killing. Heck, one of my friends dad is a truck driver and he makes 300k/year
Btw I say this b/c you are a lot more capable than you think you are. You academic prowess in high school is an indicator that you have the talent, just put in some effort (Less than your peers) and you’ll be well off
@@cuvpakeat first glance, they almost are, financially. I don’t know why this is a stereotype. I’ve seen a LOT of non-stem history/sociology/psychology majors raking tons of cash through lobbying for politicians and crediting corporations. Making bang is kind of independent from major tbh.
as a current rising high school senior going through the "oh my god i'm not as special as everyone told me and i'm not living up to the expectations of every adult around me", this was a really cathartic video. you hit the nail on the head on literally every topic, and made me feel even just a little bit better.
I was "gifted". Turns out I am autistic, very hard on myself, and avoid failure at all costs when it comes to mental tasks. I am 28, unemployed, still living with my mom. I had 1 job that laster for around 2 years. I basically have amounted to nothing so far. But the saying of "Late bloomer" seems wrong. I am not going to bloom. That is fine, because only deciduous plants bloom. I am evergreen. I grow slowly but never bloom. I like this metaphor for myself because the one time I struggled in school was in metal shop. I couldnt figure out how to weld correctly. I failed but my teacher allowed us to keep trying. I eventually got a B rating weld. That was my proudest moment in life. I earned that B through trial and error. Not from it just clicking. I hope I can earn a job so I can continue my growth.
I'm also a late diagnosed aspie as well. It isn't too late for you. Yes, the world is VERY hostile to us. And yes, we are **comically** underemployed. But don't lose hope. You are build different that the world. It takes knowing yourself and mastering your mind in order to know what skills you have, and what industries you may be good at. I know it seems hard, but you have to build the compatibility to be a part of the world. It really sucks, but it can be done. And when you know your niche, you can achieve success by knowing where your energy is best applied. Success isn't going to be found via the "normal" means. You have to develop your own means and know what you excel at. And if you can get your skills and talents to align with the right line of work, success will flow to you. Don't lose hope. You are build different. Your success will be different compared to everyone. And you'll find it on a path different than everyone else.
"you get a 15-year-old who's having the same thought process as a 50-year-old, that thought being: is it too late for me?" You put what I've been feeling for years into words, man.
You know, teachers have a hard time dealing with children. Most of them are unruly, so even the slighest sign of willful obedience from one would touch their hearts. Combine that with a well-raised child who nonchalantly listens to his elders and you get a character whose life is eaten from within him by mere expectations.
This was the exact reasons I became burnt out and stopped bothering to put in effort. and also depression, attachment issues, ADHD (Unconfirmed) and anxiety. but also that.
@@JohnyKoksu not meaning that I have those mental issues, but feeling something like them from time to time, like a little bit depressed or sad sometimes (not always) anxiety sometimes, not feeling attachment issues, I don't have those at all, and ADHD I blame TikTok for low attention span, like everyone have attention span of a fish nowadays
I always HATED being called the gifted kid. Ever since I was young I would work HARD. Studying every little thing only for the other kids and teacher tell me "Oh you're a gifted kid!" As if! I worked hard. I was never born this way. Little baby me was on a whole nother level of maturity. I'm still being called a gifted kid.
@@jocker6271yeah. And then i became lazy as shit. So when stuff starts to get hard you cant learn because you dont let yourself make a mistake. Cant make one if you dont even try. Glad that i noticed it and got my shit together...
Yeah I hated that my classmates that weren’t in GT were saying that I must be so much smarter than them, even if they were getting answers to things I had never heard of
"Stop equating your worth with things you are able to do and how fast you can do them. You don't have to prove that you're worthy of love because you're not a circus animal. Learn to focus on results less and effort more" - he is a a wise young guy !
I am so glad i randomly stumbled upon this channel. Finally some pure, no sugarcoating talk edited in a raw and sincere way. This feels like golden age UA-cam. Great job.
Hey hi! You might also like other creators like Cj the X or Biz (upinurbiz). They are more oriented to art analysis though, but despite the very different themes they have very similar vibes
I was a gifted kid and was constantly praised but I hated it. Not that I didn’t want people to praise me but who did always found a way to put other “normies” down just to put me up. It made me feel guilty about being talked about positively because the people around me weren’t stupid, they just didn’t fit the “smart kid” identity. It really affected my self-image :(
This is exactly how I felt! I remember believing that all kids are gifted, not just me, but maybe those who weren't considered for the program just hadn't found their gift yet. I also remember we weren't gifted at everything, either. We all seemed to have one special interest we were very good at, and we had the desire to dedicate ourselves to that one thing.
Same, I felt this only served to lower other students' morales while also making them hate me. It was such a lose-lose situation. And it didn't boost my self-esteem one bit, if anything my morales were in shambles too bc I worked hard and didn't feel smart at all by their definitions, and I was already an odd ball and always the new kid too. I was as socially awkward as possible, and then my teachers really said "we could make this worse" 🙃 A classmate who sat next to me once told me "I wish I could have good grades like you but I'm just not smart", I shared with her my study methods and how I keep my own morales up against the subjugation that is the school system, gave her some genuine encouraging words, and voila, by the end of that year she had BETTER grades than me lol, she left me in the dust. Even her personality and body language changed a little, she seemed so confident in herself and took herself seriously unlike before. All it took is someone telling her what she aspires to is not above her in some fundamental way. Honestly her newfound confidence in herself encouraged me more than any of the teachers hateful "praise".
@@AriaHarmony SO TRUE!! It’s purely a lose-lose situation for everyone involved. Teachers are a-holes sometimes for absolutely no reason. Wait, why are we literally the same person lol? I was so socially awkward and did not know how to accept compliments for the life of me; I try my best not to remember my school days so I don’t cringe to death.🥲 Also your classmate probably felt defeated because she felt as though intelligence was inherited rather than learnt. Im glad she got over that feeling and proved to herself otherwise!
It was the opposite for me. I liked being praised for my gifted status because without it I felt like nothing and I didn't wanna let my family down. When I lost that status that's when I felt worthless and that I've let my family down but I had to realize you don't need a gifted status to prove that you're worth something. It took me years to realize it and even now I'm still struggling to accept it, but it's true! You really are something great regardless if your school says you're gifted or not :)
Great video. I was a very gifted kid when I was in school, and the reason I was probably was me running from some bad stuff. When I was 12, I wanted to be a nuclear scientist. I graduated with a BA in psych, and now I make silly little mushroom guys. That's the pipeline. Gifted kid --> silly little mushroom guys.
This is from a different side in my experience. I wasn’t gifted or anything but knew my experiences and interests during middle school and high’s school were outside the norm. I was very slow and not quick at anything. I remember being really afraid of counting and multiplying in third grade lol. However around 8th, I gained a sudden curiosity for calculus, endlessly passionate about philosophy and physics from 8th grade onward and always found myself just alone explaining theories to teachers during lunch breaks and trying to absorb as much as I could. I was always definitely jealous of the gifted kids who got space in their program to explore their interests while I had to kind of make my own time in public school to explore higher level academic interests that weren’t really touched in class. While I had to work harder than normal, it definitely instilled a really crazy work ethic when I found things I was passionate about because I had to try hard for everything I did and I actually am actually thankful for this as I got to learn the value of learning for myself through hard work and not for others grand expectations of some ability to learn.
Im a mix of both. I guess im a gifted kid but always felt normal to me. Eventually the praise got to my head and the burnoht was insane. Also made me hella afraid of mistakes. Dropped the ego later on and the years of burnout are over. Im in 10th grade rn and experiencing similar things to you.
@@algirdasltu1389You weren't ever gifted if you're this way in 10th grade bro.. I'll let you know what gifted is. I'm currently in a prestigious high-school program that where the lower half of the students would smoke you in anything you find yourself good at. We all took multi variable calc in your grade with an EM Physics course , which I believe is calc based physics 2?Doubt you're a math Olympiad. Nonetheless, don't feel bad.
as a fellow gifted kid, it is a trap... we get used to working smart until we meet someone smarter or with more money than us. then we work smart and have to work hard
At 29 im just now realizing i gotta get lucky kiss ass or work for myself having skipped grades and did alotta advanced placement stuff from kindergarten thru middle school shit sucks realizing youre not as special as your mom tried to make you out to be. My harsh reality
@@deebee623 Just like a single person. Without any form of structures, they'll crumble within their own mind they have formed, thus leaving their body to rot
@@Panzerfaust_1939I think OP meant it in the sense that a lot of American adult males think of the Roman Empire atleast once a week. Look it up, it’s a whole ass study.
Man, I am so glad I found your channel. I did not expect your videos to grab me by the throat and threaten violence, but here we are. This was far more cathartic than I thought it would be. Not to overshare, but as a former Gifted Kid of the english/lit variety, this video hit hard. I'm also very jealous of you for know how to do fractions and also basic math, so do me a favor and be jealous back about how amazing my grammar is, or something. You talk about a lot of points I have come to realize about my own "growing up as a gifted kid" status. For a lot of kids, myself included, being the gifted kid was really the only way I knew how to fit in. I've always been a big reader/writer, and have been writing literally since before I knew how to, so in school I was often "farther ahead" of my peers when it came to writing and reading. I took *pride* in my third-grader-with-a-tenth-grade-reading-level status. When we would do those reading program things where you're supposed to read a certain amount of words or check out this many books, I made the leader board every time. I looked forward to parent-teacher conferences, because then I could hear my mom tell me all the good things my teachers had said about me, particularly when it came to my writing. I was trustworthy, "mature for my age," and basically your typical teacher's pet. That all fell apart when I got to middle school. You know how it is. Immediate nose-dive. My grades went from all A's with the odd B+ to barely scraping by with C's. I was still a good writer/reader (I still remain a writing/lit freak to this day), but I didn't know how to work hard. Or, at least, I didn't want to. All the facades fell away, and I was left struggling in a system that had essentially set me up for failure. This is, obviously, not a unique experience. It's especially not a unique experience when you factor in that I later found out I was neurodivergent (autism/ADHD). Looking back, I realize that my assumed status as a gifted kid was really just a coping mechanism disguising the fact that I didn't really fit in with my peers. I sought out the validation of teachers, because I didn't really connect with people my age. It was just easier to "play the system" and gain praise and a vague sense of accomplishment than to try and make friends. The gifted kid label created a shield. It made me useful, carved out a place for me in the social hierarchy. See, nobody wants to hang out with the weird loner kid. But if that weird loner kid is also really good at spelling tests and maybe lets you cheat off of them on said tests... well, then you might have more of a reason to be friendly with that person. Not only that, but there's a certain amount of esteem that comes with being the gifted kid. Like you mentioned, all the "average" kids tend to look up to you, in a way. You're smart, after all, and smart people are, at the very least, respectable. Your point about how being the "gifted kid" doesn't really teach you how to improve, it teaches you how to keep up appearances, also really resonated with me. I can remember times when, in order to keep up the facade, I would lie. It's true that I was a pretty avid reader and writer from a young age. And that made me seem mature. But that's just it -- like you said, I was just a kid. I didn't really know everything. It's very stupid looking back now, but I remember one time in second grade where one of my classmates (a friend) told me they had finished the entire Harry Potter series over the summer. I had also started reading the series at that point, but I got bored around the fourth book and dropped it. But, of course, I couldn't let my classmates think I, the top reader in my class, had read *less* than my friend, an *average* reader. So, of course, I lied and I said I'd also finished the series. And that was a lie I kept up until seventh grade, when I actually finished the series. I realize I don't really have a good way to end this? I said I wouldn't overshare, then I did anyway, so sorry about that. I hope something in this was valuable to someone, regardless, even if it's just them knowing they weren't alone in a certain experience. Your videos are really good, and far too relatable for my liking, so of course I'm going to watch all of them now.
You screamed at me in certain points of this; especially the bit about the gifted kid status being a coping mechanism, and seeking validation from teachers to cover up the fact that you didn't fit in 😭 I highly suspect that I am neurodivergent as well, but I have yet to receive any official diagnoses. For now, I am really trying to restructure my life and detach my self worth from what I do/accomplish. This comment and this video spoke volumes to my heart because I can relate to nearly everything. Thank you so much for sharing :)
I grew up with expectations to be genius. Not just praises. I disappointed a lot of people by not doing well in uni, because apparently "this isn't you". In the end, 'genius' isn't that important. Your regulation skills and ability to learn are what will help you be successful (and happy too). If I could travel back in time, I would have told my younger self that. I would also have told those who expect me to just know things out of thin air, to be a genius themselves first.
I was a gifted child... I coasted through school and never learnt to study. Also never got picked up for having adhd or dyslexia until adulthood because I was "too smart" as a child...
I'm glad that I caught my Gifted Kid Burnout early on in high school. It made me realized despite my academic achievements here, I generally don't want to constantly keep up with being 'gifted' into college. So I tried my best during senior year and got almost the highest score in my grade, fully knowing that is going to be my 'peak' and the best I'm willing to achieve academically. That's why I'm in art college now, where I know that I'm pretty average for all the kids here and no longer have to face gifted kid impostor syndrome yay
I had that experience with singing. When I was a kid, I was a big show-off who'd sing and dance all the time, so naturally I had a pretty voice at a young age. I was praised by everyone for it, especially my mom who showered me with compliments at everything I did. (I do not blame this on her but I've got mention it cause it played a lot in my self esteem lol) By the age of 11, I became a WHOLE NEW level of insecure, shy, I couldn't sing anywhere cause I feared someone would listen, plus I thought "well I'm very good at it anyway, so I'll still have my skills without practicing, since I never practiced anyway". Today I regret so badly because now I receive negative comments about my skills, despite actually trying now. I'm just average, if not less than average now. My self esteem was crushed for a time because I'm bad at the only thing I'm good at, or at least was, and I literally start crying when I practice sometimes. I learnt the value of hard work the tough way lol. Anyways, amazing video! I love your channel :D
Gifted is a state of mind, man. We're still the same people with the same gifts, the format for reality has shifted so we have to find new applications for old behaviors or learn new behaviors. The real gift is changing and growing as a person because only stupid people stay the exact same across the lifespan.
8:10 example of that is when young students chose a carrier that they aren't really passionate about it but chose it because their parents told them too.
@@abhishekak9619 it's in the category if parents chose it because you were the smart kid in it. good with math? go do rocket science, it's not good for you to waste your smartness (even if you like literature more, cmon math pays more you silly and you're alr good at it)
I'm 11/5. Just landed in middle school, actually. This video hit too close to home. I'm a smart kid, at least that's what I consider myself to be, and I protect it with my life. I admit that I have been competitive, envious, and jealous of other people when they proved themselves to be, well, better than me. I cling to my reputation and title as a "smart kid" and protect it fiercely. Why? Because it seems that I feel my stomach drop and time slow whenever something comes up that even remotely indicates that I'm not intelligent. It's like if I'm not the best, I'll die because that's who I am. If I'm not the best, then I am no longer me, therefore I am gone. Moving on, being smart sucks. Of course, it gives me the love, attention, and praise that I love, but it also brings up so much unnecessary stress and pressure. It's like I always have to be smart and can't have that waver, ever, again for the same reasons I listed earlier. I want to be average so the pressure will go away, but being average is like being a background character. It makes me feel insignificant. If I'm smart, it's like being the main character. The main character is usually good and praised, but it comes with a plot. A plot that places pressure and stress (usually) on the character. Now, that's not fun. Being special feels- well, special. Once that's taken away? Then you're not special anymore. Sounds simple, right? Wrong. It's like getting privileges all your life, then having it taken away from you all at once. Other's may not see it as a big deal, but it is. Anyway, I have no idea how to end this tangent, so I'll just cut it off.
Watch the video again. This guy's been where you are now. He has some really good advice that it doesn't hurt to hear more than once. I'd also encourage you to try something new that you're not already good at. Doesn't have to be an in-school thing, either. A couple of years ago I started learning Chinese, and it's been a game changer for me. I'm really super good at English, but I have to really work to do well with Chinese... but it feels great when I finally get something right after missing it in earlier tries. It's totally worth the effort. All the best in middle school... Make some friends and have fun!
When I was your age, I envied you and people like you. Me? I was lower educated. I have been told that my life holds no value, that my dreams of becoming something in life or studying in a certain sector, would be impossible for me. Instead of praise, I would be mocked. I also got competitive at school. Not because it was asked of me, but because I wanted to prove them wrong. Because smart kids looked down on me for trying so hard to solve questions that they could answer with only a fraction of my worth. Being special means something, and it is so valuable as a loser. But I am glad that whatever I did worked. Sorry, this is me talking about myself, but one thing I beg if you, as well as in the video is for your to accept the parts of you that aren't brilliant. You are a human being, failing is part of the process, and moving forward makes you a smarter person because you can deal with yourself better. Also that that your life isn't worth because of your title, but because of the effort you put in it. It is the reason why I can go toe-to-toe with the people that were gifted, and it is the reason why people want to give you praise. You are the main character, even if you fail and even if you feel like people aren't praising you. Love yourself, qnd grow as a person.
I am in a very weird position because I WAS considered a gifted kid... But nobody could grasp why they felt that I was that way. Eveyone just kinda said "wow you're smart for a 12 year old" but NEVER elaborated on it, and right now the question I tell everybody like my parents, an old teacher or similar when I tell them that I have nothing going on for me and they say "but you were such a talented kid" is: "yes, but what talent of mine specifically did you think would give me an easier life?" and they NEVER answer, they just give me a weird confused look.
Yes, these are phrases of false motivating positivity….they are generationally passed down. If you are self aware enough and have good critical thinking …you catch on to how much bs it is. It is easy trap to fall into full on self delusion
I didn't even have to put any work into basically any of my studies until I graduated at 17 and now I am incapable of putting in an effort and also utterly useless 😀
Seems like the path im going on. I have an urgent problem to fix for the next 3.5 years before I graduate. Because I already feel incapable of studying properly and envy those who can around me.
My younger self was very called out by this video. It's kinda wild how similar our situations were in school, upto also being told I was the worst in AP in high-school (I got downgraded in grade 11). You perfectly described the ego you get from being "gifted" and the problem with media and adults reinforcing it.
Applies to software engineering too. 9 year old working at Google, Apple, Facebook etc. And I'm 17, with none of those. I'm not late to the party, I'm just going great, moving at my own pace. This video was therapy. Thank you
I was a ‘gifted kid’. Luckily, there wasn’t much fuss made about it. It was just sort of known and accepted, so I didn’t really get any emotional damage - only a protective layer of self confidence. Unluckily, I was really just a little ahead of my peers in the sports festival that is school life, so I never actually learned any proper time management or study skills. Nobody ever cared when I didn’t hand in homework 80% of the time because I was ‘so bright’ and ‘articulate’ and, I guess, they didn’t think I needed it? The gaps in my knowledge grew and grew and I just continued cruising through life the way I always had until suddenly the ‘so smart, you must be so proud’ kid was failing core classes and suicidal with the feeling of having no future. It had to get to that stage before I - or my parents, despite what must have been steadily poorer grades over the years - ‘noticing’. The perceptions we have of people really can blind us to so much.
Needed this video SO MUCH, you don't even know! I grew up as one of the "gifted kids," never really studying and still ending up at the top of the class. I internalized the whole "smart people are born smart and don't need to try" to the point that I never bothered to learn how to study. Then my first year of college comes along and turns out... you can't really get by without studying at least a little (shocker). Barely passed my first year and consequently drowned in humiliation. I spent summer break reading up on study habits, and now I'm hoping my second year goes better. 😅😅 This video really helped solidify a lot of my realizations though. Who gives a shit about being "gifted," I'll aim for competence instead!
@@Zero_fn1Mine is 139. IQ doesn't mean anyrhing because post education work is just work and you have to have a good work ethic. 1500 IQ doesn't mean shot if you don't like to to study or desire to leave your basement.
This was so great for me to hear. I won 4 national championships before my senior year of college after double titling my junior year. However, by time I competed I’d already been developing PTSD from many factors, including the team environment. Returning to the team caused horror and confusion to the point that I couldn’t function. This is how I found out, and I then had to rework my whole life to nurture my mental health. Not being an athlete or competing for titles shook my whole identity. I replaced hard work, gains, and championships with journaling, tea, and walks. Now that I’m a few months into recovery, the biggest takeaway I’ve had is that I deserved to be able to relax a lot sooner, and that we humans aren’t put on this earth to do work for organizations or things “much larger” than us, or to feed someone else’s old legacies. The work that we do is meant to contribute to relaxation, fulfillment, and preparation for the future, and if that isn’t what the work is for then reconsider why you’re doing it. A lot of us aren’t taught that, but it’s never too late to learn how to give yourself grace. I won’t have another season, but I am more important than another season, and so are you.
I was stupid growing up. I got pulled out of class in elementary school to get help with reading and multiplication. Teachers called me dumb to my face. I refused to read at home. But ya know what?! it taught me the study skills and resilience I needed to get through high school and now college. Besides, I’m a straight up bibliophile now. all of my ex “gifted” friends that were avid readers as kids haven’t read anything non academic in years.
Thank you so much for making this a video!! I don't really want to go into details, but I've been really beating myself up for years over this exact problem. Words can't describe how much I appreciate this video. I'm so glad that I'm not alone in feeling this way!
Throughout college, I was usually one of the smartest or even the smartest in my major classes. I was usually relied on my others to help them with their work and confusion which I didn’t mind for the most part. It got exhausting when working on group projects and I was pulling the majority of the weight. I was truly relieved when I started my first job in my field and I was no longer the smartest. I was happy to be average again.
this video hits the nail on the head with the idea that “gifted kid” really is just a label of how fast you could do multiplication in elementary school 💀
On some real talk I am one of kids who grew up being told I was smart. Well, people still say that to me. I used to be in one of those high up roles given to high achieving kids back in school. I was only one of two boys who got it. The rest was girls. So, people around me have always had the expectation that I'll be something great one day. I do feel like I haven't reached that potential but I am still working on myself. The biggest hurdle is trying to learn to actually put effort into things instead of relying on natural talent. Like studying and working to be good at something.
Vince Staples’ track “LAW OF AVERAGES” is a personal favourite of mine from him and it’s gotten me through so much. Then this video popped up in my recommendations. I dropped out of my Mechanical Engineering degree, gonna fully focus and double down on my music production and musician dreams and ambitions. This video has echoed a lot in the sense that even though I was never the smartest, my parents always used to say to me that I was special and that I had an unusual but unique mind. I hated whenever they said it because I’ve never been able to see it and still cannot see it. I grew up sheltered in my teenage years, so I’m finding myself having to learn a lot of lessons that people my age have already gotten through, at a much later age. Thank you for this.
This video actually makes me kinda thankful for my experience - I got referred to a gifted school after being bored (and disruptive, apparently) in first grade, but everyone there was gifted, so there wasn't much fitting in/ego building lol. I honestly felt kinda dumb next to my best friend in grade school, who ended up at MIT. Your last point about failure was a good one though, failure was always supposed to be avoidable if you were careful and analytical enough, and that's just not how things are. Hard work/effort to learning stuff definitely hit at a certain point but the teachers at my first school actually did a pretty good job of "learning stuff is actually worth it for the sake of just learning" so I got something out of it. I'm still awful, stubborn, and dumb at stuff I see as pointless lol. College was a ride because I'd never taken notes in my life and just memorized textbooks, but lectures were a whole new thing I had to actively pay attention to. I was also one of those weird violin prodigy kids who ended up in a NYC conservatory, built absolutely garbage robots out of RC parts, and then became a network/infrastructure engineer, so my experience is probably on the "weird" side of the spectrum. I do think the entire 'gifted" concept is kind of flawed, it should be more "hey you seem like you could be capable of taking on more, it will be more work but it could lead to some cool stuff" and offered as an option rather than getting stapled to certain kids at random. Gifted classes kept me from being a bored first grader drawing stuff on the back of my spelling test but at that point I would have taken anything that went faster, even if it meant more work.
The thing is, as a "gifted kid" its not even only you that believes you should get everything automatically, EVERYONE ELSE DOES TOO. One prime example of this carrying into my adulthood is my siblings getting on my ass acting like it was the end of the world after i got a B.... in physics... AT UNI......
Being smart was my main identity and what I was valued for by my peers. I knew this identity was crumbling by middle to high school, but I pulled through and graduated with "top student" medal. Uni then proceeded to beat my ass and after successful (in terms of GPA) first year, I crashed and didn't turn up to the class in the second year. I blamed ADHD for it and while it did hinder, I knew without it, I wouldn't be some genuis, instead I would just turn in the mid assignments on time. I think my wake up moment was when I jokingly said how bad my grade was while meeting high school classmates and they just went silent. Thinking back, I really had no other value/pizazz than being "smart" so it was pretty understandable that people left after finding out I was actually dumb and slow and worst of all, super bitter about it. I think the worst part wasn't finding out I'm mostly an idiot, but the fact that i then tried to use my passion, art, to be my value. Which put too much pressure on what used to be such an integral part of me that was unhindered by expectations, and almost made it another tool to hopefully please people. I'm doing good enough nowadays.
I'm 17 now man. I feel you. I went through most of this my first year of highschool, finished it out last year. I'm burnt out and my disabilities are starting to bite me in the ass, I'm just coasting now. I wish I'd've just enjoyed my younger years, met people and stuff. Peace and well wishes man.
I not only was a gifted kid, but i got struck by the covid and family relared issues when highschool started, so i had virtually no highschool, and somehow i still got approved to college... You can imagine the breakdown i had when i felt in in skin the skill gap between me an my peers
I feel like gifted kids get the wrong lessons taught to them about life. I never studied a day in my life, yet still managed to finish high school with a 3.56 gpa. This gave me the thought that I didn't really have to work for anything in life and I would just be naturally good at anything I attempted. This got proven wrong when I joined my schools band in 5th grade as a trumpet player. And I thought "since I'm naturally smart at all my other core subjects, this will be just as easy." I spent the next 5 years of band in the 3rd trumpet section. Which for people who don't know, think of 1st trumpet as the starters in a basketball team, 2nd trumpet as the role players who get some decent minutes and 3rd trumpet as the benchwarmers who only come out during blowouts. I quit band my junior year partly because of the pandemic and partly because I just didn't care anymore.
I would add to this that what we perceive as average and normal changes depending on the people we are surrounded by. At school I felt I was a creative person because I was the only one in my class who wrote and drew, but when I started working in games, suddenly everyone around me is creative in some way... and it didn't matter so much anymore. Add to that social media showing the best of the best all the time and you get a really distorted view of what is a norm.
I was gifted when I was younger but also, I was the super well-behaved child that listened to whatever the teacher told them. It's such a great trait according to adults when your child. Everyone thinks you had good home training but then when you're an adult and you still act like that, everyone hates it and considers it immature.
I was a former gifted kid who’s currently a 2L in law school. We were taught a lot before about having the “growth mindset” you spoke of as to not get discouraged in our first year when we are not immediately good at understanding the law
14:33 😂😂😂 I can really relate, bud, and so can a number of friends of mine. This video really put some flesh on all those thoughts and insecurities I developed over the years. Thank you!
I was talking to this girl in college once and asked what her major was and she said it was math, she asked me what mine was and I said it was linguistics and she was like "omg you're so brave for choosing linguistics, i hated english class" and i was like "i- I'M THE BRAVE ONE?" and that is an interaction I think about a lot because in the end it all just seems so... relative
Hey, nice to see someone who likes linguistics; it's not that common; I also have a fancy for that field. Interesting perspective from your experience. How have your studies and major gone?
New subscriber. I'm just over 40 myself, yet see a ton of similarities in this video to my own life. Thank you for having that in common, but thank you even more, for validating it, and putting it into words.
Youre lucky youre going through this now. My realization that i wasnt a genius was when i was 11 safe to say it wasnt fun. My mom still says to this day that i was such a good child and had such a bright future and how ive just devolved into a failure (im only 17 btw). Ive learned to find peace because ive realised that in order to land the conditions required to become a havard graduate at 13 id have to reset my life over a thousand times. Ive also realised that some of the most incredible people ive met so far in my life are relatively average
extremely cathartic video for someone going through this as we speak…. i can trust that it will take me years to truly grasp this idea, though, but i guess i’ll be trying? 🙌
The moral works for “non-gifted” individuals too. I am the opposite of a “gifted kid”. In fact, school stole my childhood and my teenager years. Half of the reason, is because of my neurodivergence, which sadly, makes me difficult to learn and keep with the rest, so I had to put triple effort and time in school. And the other half, is because I wanted to proof to people that “I am smart and capable”, since I was always labeled as restarted, which makes me feel I wasn’t special. I am in process of healing, and I am much better than before. Graduating from school showed me that the world is more complex that it seems. That’s wonderful, since it means you can do whatever you want with your life, and work for it. It doesn’t matter if you are gifted or not, not all people live in the same circumstances, so being “smart” doesn’t matter, but mostly, being open minded.
Man, I completely relate to this experience. The thing that really started my journey away from it was developing purely self-driven interests, and the beauty of comedy. Being able to laugh at yourself is so important for developing the kind of humility that's crucial for connecting with others, and it lets you dismantle those narratives you never chose for yourself.
This video was affirming. I’m an artistic savant and it takes me time to learn things. I can teach myself anything artistically but again, it takes time. Less time than the average person, sure. But still takes time. I was feeling down bc I was like it’s taking me time to learn how to sing to the level I want. But the fact that I’m teaching myself so many things is WILD. And mastering them eventually. Wild. I’m a gifted kid who learned I’m just an ordinary person who can do extraordinary things. I’m someone who has to try. Even special people have to try. So keep trying!!!!!
Ooooh new channel to obsessively watch!! I’m like 5 minutes in and already love the video, especially the green screen on the floor-I haven’t seen that before and it’s really cool. On a side note, I relate to this video so much already. Im 18, and in the last two years I’ve gone from thinking I was going to be one of those kids who made the news for getting into 17 million top colleges (and honestly I had a fair chance, my stats weren’t insane but I had a decent chance) to genuinely not knowing if I would graduate. I did, by the way, like 2 weeks ago. But the gifted kid syndrome is real; I’m just learning how to actually put in the work, and weirdly enough it was theatre that made me do that. I was a gifted kid in theatre as well, but I loved it enough that the failure made me want to succeed. Now I just need to apply that to calculus or whatever the fuck else
This hit wayyyy too close to home. You said things here that I'm not sure I've ever had the courage to admit to myself. I honestly don't think i started to grapple with a lot of these feelings until college, which sucked. A lot. I've graduated now, and hopefully I'll never have to go back. I was somehow stressed and bored almost the entire time. I'm working now and I like it more, mostly. I like having that separation between work and home. One thing that really helped me was trying new hobbies and letting myself just. Be bad at them. I let myself have fun making things, rather than worrying too much about the end result. It's not an easy mindset shift, especially if you've been entrenched for multiple decades, but it's well worth it.
This was an incredible video, thank you so much for sharing! A lot of what you said resonated with me as a former gifted kid. As a child, I was constantly praised for my intellect and talent, stuff which I personally never had to work for. Whenever I did have to work for anything, I got frustrated and upset because I subconciously viewed it as a moral failing. Since I had to work, I must be dumb which means I must be a bad person. That's still something I've been struggling to undo, but I've been working on it. What you said at the end really stuck with me. Not only should you accept that you are not any better than anyone else, but you should also value the effort you put into things. Not too long ago, I competed in the International Thespian Festival with a pair of monologues. I had gotten full marks across the all criteria from all the judges at regionals, and was excited to show my stuff at a national (yes it was national, the name is misleading lol) level. I didn't even prepare that much and I got full marks! Hell, I could get superior (equivalent to an A) or even the coveted Thespy award at that rate! The competition came and I performed. I got a cumulative rating of excellent (equivalent to a B). At first I was disappointed, even felt a bit like crying, but I told myself not to. It's okay, I can try for superior and be better next time, I can improve and I can win. I *will* be good enough next year. This video has made me rethink that approach though. Yes, it's good to be ambitious and strive for great things, but what really matters is the effort you put in. Me not getting top prize wasn't okay because I still had time next year to get it, it was okay because I tried my best and I had fun. That's what really matters. Funnily enough, a lot of what you said also applies to social skills. My gifted class was completely separate from the other classes, so we ended up being an isolated fishbowl of weirdo nerds. As a result of that, I never learned proper social skills. When I started high school, I was really worried that I didn't truly know what I was doing, I felt like everyone knew something about socializing that I didn't. Over time, I've been working to dismantle that idea and accept that yes, I might not know everything, but neither does anyone else. And just like any other skill, social skills are just that, skills. They need to be learned and just because I might be learning them later doesn't make me a bad person. Hell, most of my friends hardly seem remember any of my social blunders. Anyways, this got long haha. Once again, thank you for this lovely video!
This is the video that hit me the most from your channel. This is the exact same approach i had. When i was a kid, i used to be called “the genius” of the school. Even though i had no idea why people said that and i was kinda disturbed by the attention i received. I felt like a normal kid all the time. Once i grew up, idk why but i realised the same thing you did. That you have to work in school for good grades even if you’re smart. And that was a big NO for me. Because if i studied, i would be called average on my mind. And if i was average, i would be called a dissapoitment from my family that taught me that all the time. Let more comparing myself with other peers didnt help me much either. This mindset that i’m smart and therefore i have not to study made me more undisciplined. And it ended up like a disaster in college. I’m still trying to recover
I did put in all the efforts. I worked hard to reach that peak growth mindset perfection. All the average students have jobs now. I am burned out as hell and unable to work. Average isn't a bad thing, it's very healthy and balanced. If only I had spend more time on having fun...
16:25 felt that. My dad was telling me in my second semsester that the point of school is to learn, and the good grades come after (even though you can get good grades without retaining knowledge to keep up appearances) I'm still not sure if I've fully taken that in yet.
Dude, that was the most relatable thing I've ever watched. In elemantary and middle school I was the star, always being looked up by my peers and teachers. But in high school and college, things were getting harder and people around me were more like me (gifted and hardworking people who were picked there by an exam). I am no longer an outstander, just an average student who needs to put effort to not fail. But the worst thing was I was so used to get good results with little effort, I made the faulty assumption that I can and should fix every flaw right away before moving on. For example, if I didnt understand a little part of a lecture, I would dwell on that thing until I got it right and then move on. But this takes a lot of time and made me unable to finish the syllabus before exam, which felt awfull. This habit also made me afraid of mistakes in every field, even in my hobbies like knitting or drawing (I didnt make much progress in them either). But only now I realize, its not that deep. You can make as many mistakes as needed to proceed, just focus on the proccess. Just like he said in the video, you are not a circus animal so dont worry about the outcome much, focus on the journey and the joy it gives because trust me, if you let the mistakes be everything becomes much doable and less tiring, you'll find contentment in your work.
Thank you for making this video. I'm currently in the middle of tenth grade right now and my enviousness and lust of other people who actually put in the work made me lose all my friends, and now I have to go through the rest of this year full of a class of people that hate me. I gave up on working hard for most of the time I was doing my IGCSEs and I have nothing now, except a few letters on a page. This is a bit egotistical but I feel like I fit exactly into your definition of the fake smart kid. I've already realized I'm just lucky. I've coasted through most of my life, and now that I actually have to think and keep myself to a schedule, without the help of others to push me through while I drag my feet, I feel like the biggest fool in the world. Everything up to this point has been wasted time. Nothing matters now except passing exams.
im not that gifted but i was above average, i have that same realization now that i have to work hard to be able to do stuff, it fucks up my whole view in the world. combined with somewhat distant relationship with my family, I get that feeling where you gotta somehow put up and be better at school work compared to other kids, not to mention the constant comparation with other kids. i think since then i've been gradually declining more and more as a person. i fucked up my chance of doing something that i wanted to do, now i think back that's not what i really want. and i never really knew what i wanted, until now i still don't have a purpose. so the lesson is, you gotta somehow give your own kids enough attention, and let them know that the world is big place and you are going to lose in life. or you'll end up having a depressed ball of disappointment for a kid.
man you are a king, everyone in comment section is having same problems, such a relief tbh, because, you feel like this is only YOUR problem no one else have, but, it seem many have it, anyway keep focusing people and hard working, you are not alone
The ignorance is bliss had me crying! 😂 This is so good! Also please share what it’s like being the gifted black student 🤎. The pressure that comes with it, to lift your community and also to prove to those that are prejudiced (especially in academia)… SMH 😑
when i was in elementary school i was part of the smart kids class then i was put in the normal kids class. I saw both worlds and from that point i called myself average and i was fine throughout college days. And I'm glad I had this realization that I'm normal and that's alright so thank you for sharing my man. I appreciate it
remember trying to explain that getting put in gifted classes as a kid and having to learn how to actually do school way later was like starting halfway up the ladder so everyone already thought i knew how to climb lol
OMG. I relate. To this day I struggle with hard work on a conceptual level. Things used to come naturally to me as a child and I was praised for it. I still try to emulate that. I favour flow, being in the zone, effortless work rather than hard
The audacity of UA-cam to bring this video to me right after graduating from college and losing my main identity of "gifted student"
Gifted unc
You killed someone already dead 😭🤚@@CasualCat64
frog in a pond
Damn! Same but didn't graduate yet
i never went to college and i am eating cookies over the sink right now. Go easy on yourself, Life is good!! ❤
that's the nerdy and unglamorous version of "peaked in high school" (talking 'bout myself)
Cap, most of the gifted kids at my school make 100-200k/year as software engineers in their 20s or they are in medical school.
You’ll peak in high school if you don’t apply yourself in the real world, don’t work hard, or choose a worthless major (aka most majors outside of STEM). If you can think past next week, you will make something of yourself.
This applies to all people, but it especially applies to the gifted kids.
For those who don’t feel like college is their thing, go to trade school and get into plumbing, electrician, or HVAC and make 70-150k/year. Or better yet start a business and make a killing. Heck, one of my friends dad is a truck driver and he makes 300k/year
Btw I say this b/c you are a lot more capable than you think you are. You academic prowess in high school is an indicator that you have the talent, just put in some effort (Less than your peers) and you’ll be well off
@@LeBillionn hey, appreciate the notion but calling most majors outside of STEM 'worthless' is not it dude
@@cuvpake Ikr, kinda feels icky in a way
@@cuvpakeat first glance, they almost are, financially. I don’t know why this is a stereotype. I’ve seen a LOT of non-stem history/sociology/psychology majors raking tons of cash through lobbying for politicians and crediting corporations.
Making bang is kind of independent from major tbh.
"You don't have to prove that you're worthy of love because you're not a circus animal" is the most succinct way I've needed that reminder.
Capitalism saying dance monkey dance… qwp
Hole in the wall in the background is the visual representation of the pain of becoming average as you grow up 😔
Fr
or even worse, becoming a burnout loser who can't bring themselves to do anything anymore
@@こんとる-k3bthats real as fuck
@@こんとる-k3bor worser experiencing neither and succeeding
@@こんとる-k3b ah man my life must be being projected to the masses
"the paramedic thinks I'm clever because i play guitar. I think she's clever because she stops people dying." - Courtney Barnett
as a current rising high school senior going through the "oh my god i'm not as special as everyone told me and i'm not living up to the expectations of every adult around me", this was a really cathartic video. you hit the nail on the head on literally every topic, and made me feel even just a little bit better.
I had that epiphany during my freshman year of high school
Nah this was me in 7th grade
ok? do something about it
@@sincere3238this was unnecessarily rude you freak. They’re a child sharing something vulnerable.
in the same position here!
I was "gifted". Turns out I am autistic, very hard on myself, and avoid failure at all costs when it comes to mental tasks.
I am 28, unemployed, still living with my mom. I had 1 job that laster for around 2 years. I basically have amounted to nothing so far.
But the saying of "Late bloomer" seems wrong. I am not going to bloom. That is fine, because only deciduous plants bloom. I am evergreen. I grow slowly but never bloom.
I like this metaphor for myself because the one time I struggled in school was in metal shop. I couldnt figure out how to weld correctly. I failed but my teacher allowed us to keep trying. I eventually got a B rating weld. That was my proudest moment in life. I earned that B through trial and error. Not from it just clicking. I hope I can earn a job so I can continue my growth.
"avoid failure at all costs when it comes to mental tasks" bro i relate to u sm.
Keep pushing forward man
Best of wishes to you! Also you could start investing on the side, too. I wish you good luck out there
I'm also a late diagnosed aspie as well. It isn't too late for you. Yes, the world is VERY hostile to us. And yes, we are **comically** underemployed. But don't lose hope. You are build different that the world. It takes knowing yourself and mastering your mind in order to know what skills you have, and what industries you may be good at.
I know it seems hard, but you have to build the compatibility to be a part of the world. It really sucks, but it can be done. And when you know your niche, you can achieve success by knowing where your energy is best applied. Success isn't going to be found via the "normal" means. You have to develop your own means and know what you excel at. And if you can get your skills and talents to align with the right line of work, success will flow to you.
Don't lose hope. You are build different. Your success will be different compared to everyone. And you'll find it on a path different than everyone else.
Evergreens do bloom, btw. I get your metaphor, but it's flawed.
"you get a 15-year-old who's having the same thought process as a 50-year-old, that thought being: is it too late for me?" You put what I've been feeling for years into words, man.
You know, teachers have a hard time dealing with children. Most of them are unruly, so even the slighest sign of willful obedience from one would touch their hearts. Combine that with a well-raised child who nonchalantly listens to his elders and you get a character whose life is eaten from within him by mere expectations.
Yes yes and yes
nailed it
This was the exact reasons I became burnt out and stopped bothering to put in effort. and also depression, attachment issues, ADHD (Unconfirmed) and anxiety. but also that.
Same, look like this issue is more common than I expected
@@voltex9157 or you both are just self-diagnosed and wrong
@@JohnyKoksu not meaning that I have those mental issues, but feeling something like them from time to time, like a little bit depressed or sad sometimes (not always) anxiety sometimes, not feeling attachment issues, I don't have those at all, and ADHD I blame TikTok for low attention span, like everyone have attention span of a fish nowadays
ok
@@sincere3238it seems you just want attention. You commented this on someone else’s comment.
I always HATED being called the gifted kid. Ever since I was young I would work HARD. Studying every little thing only for the other kids and teacher tell me "Oh you're a gifted kid!" As if! I worked hard. I was never born this way. Little baby me was on a whole nother level of maturity. I'm still being called a gifted kid.
Damn now i feel bad...
Discourages kids too, makes you seem too special like nobody can reach that level if they tried enough.
@@jocker6271yeah. And then i became lazy as shit. So when stuff starts to get hard you cant learn because you dont let yourself make a mistake. Cant make one if you dont even try. Glad that i noticed it and got my shit together...
What if it's the gift of determination?
Yeah I hated that my classmates that weren’t in GT were saying that I must be so much smarter than them, even if they were getting answers to things I had never heard of
"Stop equating your worth with things you are able to do and how fast you can do them. You don't have to prove that you're worthy of love because you're not a circus animal. Learn to focus on results less and effort more" - he is a a wise young guy !
I am so glad i randomly stumbled upon this channel. Finally some pure, no sugarcoating talk edited in a raw and sincere way. This feels like golden age UA-cam. Great job.
literally, i hope he never increases the production value
@@bhunyee lmao that sounds weird but that's also what I'm thinking too 😂
Hey hi! You might also like other creators like Cj the X or Biz (upinurbiz). They are more oriented to art analysis though, but despite the very different themes they have very similar vibes
“When you become untouchable, you’re unable to touch.”
Is there a real me? Pop the Champagne
It hurts me just to think and I don't do pain!
...grass
Touch me midas, make me part of your design .None to guide us I feel fear for the very last time. . ...
THE LIVING TOMBSTONE REFERENCE?!!
I was a gifted kid and was constantly praised but I hated it. Not that I didn’t want people to praise me but who did always found a way to put other “normies” down just to put me up. It made me feel guilty about being talked about positively because the people around me weren’t stupid, they just didn’t fit the “smart kid” identity. It really affected my self-image :(
This is exactly how I felt! I remember believing that all kids are gifted, not just me, but maybe those who weren't considered for the program just hadn't found their gift yet.
I also remember we weren't gifted at everything, either. We all seemed to have one special interest we were very good at, and we had the desire to dedicate ourselves to that one thing.
That's why I downplay my own accomplishments, I want others to feel like they could've done it as well.
Same, I felt this only served to lower other students' morales while also making them hate me. It was such a lose-lose situation. And it didn't boost my self-esteem one bit, if anything my morales were in shambles too bc I worked hard and didn't feel smart at all by their definitions, and I was already an odd ball and always the new kid too. I was as socially awkward as possible, and then my teachers really said "we could make this worse" 🙃
A classmate who sat next to me once told me "I wish I could have good grades like you but I'm just not smart", I shared with her my study methods and how I keep my own morales up against the subjugation that is the school system, gave her some genuine encouraging words, and voila, by the end of that year she had BETTER grades than me lol, she left me in the dust. Even her personality and body language changed a little, she seemed so confident in herself and took herself seriously unlike before. All it took is someone telling her what she aspires to is not above her in some fundamental way. Honestly her newfound confidence in herself encouraged me more than any of the teachers hateful "praise".
@@AriaHarmony SO TRUE!! It’s purely a lose-lose situation for everyone involved. Teachers are a-holes sometimes for absolutely no reason. Wait, why are we literally the same person lol? I was so socially awkward and did not know how to accept compliments for the life of me; I try my best not to remember my school days so I don’t cringe to death.🥲
Also your classmate probably felt defeated because she felt as though intelligence was inherited rather than learnt. Im glad she got over that feeling and proved to herself otherwise!
It was the opposite for me. I liked being praised for my gifted status because without it I felt like nothing and I didn't wanna let my family down. When I lost that status that's when I felt worthless and that I've let my family down but I had to realize you don't need a gifted status to prove that you're worth something. It took me years to realize it and even now I'm still struggling to accept it, but it's true! You really are something great regardless if your school says you're gifted or not :)
Great video. I was a very gifted kid when I was in school, and the reason I was probably was me running from some bad stuff. When I was 12, I wanted to be a nuclear scientist. I graduated with a BA in psych, and now I make silly little mushroom guys. That's the pipeline. Gifted kid --> silly little mushroom guys.
I honestly love that for you so much.
what's a silly little mushroom guy
Yeah, what is a silly little mushroom guy?
He's the shroom guy
What's a mushroom guy?
This is from a different side in my experience. I wasn’t gifted or anything but knew my experiences and interests during middle school and high’s school were outside the norm. I was very slow and not quick at anything. I remember being really afraid of counting and multiplying in third grade lol. However around 8th, I gained a sudden curiosity for calculus, endlessly passionate about philosophy and physics from 8th grade onward and always found myself just alone explaining theories to teachers during lunch breaks and trying to absorb as much as I could.
I was always definitely jealous of the gifted kids who got space in their program to explore their interests while I had to kind of make my own time in public school to explore higher level academic interests that weren’t really touched in class. While I had to work harder than normal, it definitely instilled a really crazy work ethic when I found things I was passionate about because I had to try hard for everything I did and I actually am actually thankful for this as I got to learn the value of learning for myself through hard work and not for others grand expectations of some ability to learn.
So you weren’t gifted but became gifted?
@@Watchdog-e9fThey are not gifted, but a hard worker
@@Watchdog-e9f nah he became hard-working
Im a mix of both. I guess im a gifted kid but always felt normal to me. Eventually the praise got to my head and the burnoht was insane. Also made me hella afraid of mistakes. Dropped the ego later on and the years of burnout are over. Im in 10th grade rn and experiencing similar things to you.
@@algirdasltu1389You weren't ever gifted if you're this way in 10th grade bro.. I'll let you know what gifted is. I'm currently in a prestigious high-school program that where the lower half of the students would smoke you in anything you find yourself good at. We all took multi variable calc in your grade with an EM Physics course , which I believe is calc based physics 2?Doubt you're a math Olympiad. Nonetheless, don't feel bad.
as a fellow gifted kid, it is a trap... we get used to working smart until we meet someone smarter or with more money than us. then we work smart and have to work hard
At 29 im just now realizing i gotta get lucky kiss ass or work for myself having skipped grades and did alotta advanced placement stuff from kindergarten thru middle school shit sucks realizing youre not as special as your mom tried to make you out to be. My harsh reality
Glad I noticed this at 13...
im still 13.
@@alexiskitty5😂 we didn’t have UA-cam at 13 (I’m 30)
As a former gifter kid, this topic is my Roman Empire.
It once rose great and crumbled to its own fault?
@Panzerfaust_1939 Any system without strong infrastructure will crumble under its own weight/greatness.
@@deebee623 Just like a single person. Without any form of structures, they'll crumble within their own mind they have formed, thus leaving their body to rot
@@Panzerfaust_1939I think OP meant it in the sense that a lot of American adult males think of the Roman Empire atleast once a week. Look it up, it’s a whole ass study.
@@crix_h3eadshotgg992go back to 4chan
Man, I am so glad I found your channel. I did not expect your videos to grab me by the throat and threaten violence, but here we are. This was far more cathartic than I thought it would be.
Not to overshare, but as a former Gifted Kid of the english/lit variety, this video hit hard. I'm also very jealous of you for know how to do fractions and also basic math, so do me a favor and be jealous back about how amazing my grammar is, or something.
You talk about a lot of points I have come to realize about my own "growing up as a gifted kid" status. For a lot of kids, myself included, being the gifted kid was really the only way I knew how to fit in. I've always been a big reader/writer, and have been writing literally since before I knew how to, so in school I was often "farther ahead" of my peers when it came to writing and reading.
I took *pride* in my third-grader-with-a-tenth-grade-reading-level status. When we would do those reading program things where you're supposed to read a certain amount of words or check out this many books, I made the leader board every time. I looked forward to parent-teacher conferences, because then I could hear my mom tell me all the good things my teachers had said about me, particularly when it came to my writing. I was trustworthy, "mature for my age," and basically your typical teacher's pet.
That all fell apart when I got to middle school. You know how it is. Immediate nose-dive. My grades went from all A's with the odd B+ to barely scraping by with C's. I was still a good writer/reader (I still remain a writing/lit freak to this day), but I didn't know how to work hard. Or, at least, I didn't want to. All the facades fell away, and I was left struggling in a system that had essentially set me up for failure.
This is, obviously, not a unique experience. It's especially not a unique experience when you factor in that I later found out I was neurodivergent (autism/ADHD). Looking back, I realize that my assumed status as a gifted kid was really just a coping mechanism disguising the fact that I didn't really fit in with my peers. I sought out the validation of teachers, because I didn't really connect with people my age. It was just easier to "play the system" and gain praise and a vague sense of accomplishment than to try and make friends.
The gifted kid label created a shield. It made me useful, carved out a place for me in the social hierarchy. See, nobody wants to hang out with the weird loner kid. But if that weird loner kid is also really good at spelling tests and maybe lets you cheat off of them on said tests... well, then you might have more of a reason to be friendly with that person. Not only that, but there's a certain amount of esteem that comes with being the gifted kid. Like you mentioned, all the "average" kids tend to look up to you, in a way. You're smart, after all, and smart people are, at the very least, respectable.
Your point about how being the "gifted kid" doesn't really teach you how to improve, it teaches you how to keep up appearances, also really resonated with me. I can remember times when, in order to keep up the facade, I would lie. It's true that I was a pretty avid reader and writer from a young age. And that made me seem mature. But that's just it -- like you said, I was just a kid. I didn't really know everything. It's very stupid looking back now, but I remember one time in second grade where one of my classmates (a friend) told me they had finished the entire Harry Potter series over the summer. I had also started reading the series at that point, but I got bored around the fourth book and dropped it. But, of course, I couldn't let my classmates think I, the top reader in my class, had read *less* than my friend, an *average* reader.
So, of course, I lied and I said I'd also finished the series. And that was a lie I kept up until seventh grade, when I actually finished the series.
I realize I don't really have a good way to end this? I said I wouldn't overshare, then I did anyway, so sorry about that. I hope something in this was valuable to someone, regardless, even if it's just them knowing they weren't alone in a certain experience. Your videos are really good, and far too relatable for my liking, so of course I'm going to watch all of them now.
Not oversharing if it reaches and speaks to others... I suspect there are more people like you out there than we might expect.
You are definitely DEFINITELY not alone in this. Thanks for sharing, dear stranger.
You screamed at me in certain points of this; especially the bit about the gifted kid status being a coping mechanism, and seeking validation from teachers to cover up the fact that you didn't fit in 😭 I highly suspect that I am neurodivergent as well, but I have yet to receive any official diagnoses.
For now, I am really trying to restructure my life and detach my self worth from what I do/accomplish. This comment and this video spoke volumes to my heart because I can relate to nearly everything. Thank you so much for sharing :)
I grew up with expectations to be genius. Not just praises. I disappointed a lot of people by not doing well in uni, because apparently "this isn't you". In the end, 'genius' isn't that important. Your regulation skills and ability to learn are what will help you be successful (and happy too). If I could travel back in time, I would have told my younger self that.
I would also have told those who expect me to just know things out of thin air, to be a genius themselves first.
The floor display and paper wall white board are peak production quality
Of course, there were four set designers in the credits
I was a gifted child... I coasted through school and never learnt to study. Also never got picked up for having adhd or dyslexia until adulthood because I was "too smart" as a child...
Please, how did you grow past these?
I realised too late too that I didn't learn to study.
I'm glad that I caught my Gifted Kid Burnout early on in high school. It made me realized despite my academic achievements here, I generally don't want to constantly keep up with being 'gifted' into college.
So I tried my best during senior year and got almost the highest score in my grade, fully knowing that is going to be my 'peak' and the best I'm willing to achieve academically.
That's why I'm in art college now, where I know that I'm pretty average for all the kids here and no longer have to face gifted kid impostor syndrome yay
I had that experience with singing. When I was a kid, I was a big show-off who'd sing and dance all the time, so naturally I had a pretty voice at a young age. I was praised by everyone for it, especially my mom who showered me with compliments at everything I did. (I do not blame this on her but I've got mention it cause it played a lot in my self esteem lol)
By the age of 11, I became a WHOLE NEW level of insecure, shy, I couldn't sing anywhere cause I feared someone would listen, plus I thought "well I'm very good at it anyway, so I'll still have my skills without practicing, since I never practiced anyway".
Today I regret so badly because now I receive negative comments about my skills, despite actually trying now. I'm just average, if not less than average now. My self esteem was crushed for a time because I'm bad at the only thing I'm good at, or at least was, and I literally start crying when I practice sometimes.
I learnt the value of hard work the tough way lol.
Anyways, amazing video! I love your channel :D
Gifted is a state of mind, man. We're still the same people with the same gifts, the format for reality has shifted so we have to find new applications for old behaviors or learn new behaviors. The real gift is changing and growing as a person because only stupid people stay the exact same across the lifespan.
8:10 example of that is when young students chose a carrier that they aren't really passionate about it but chose it because their parents told them too.
That is in the "gifted kid" category? Wow I never realised.
@@abhishekak9619 it's in the category if parents chose it because you were the smart kid in it. good with math? go do rocket science, it's not good for you to waste your smartness (even if you like literature more, cmon math pays more you silly and you're alr good at it)
@@someone-uhh-somehow The bona fide mathematicians are all broke because engineering doesn't use modern math, even if the modern math is really pretty
Omg this is such an underrated channel- also- as a “gifted child” I felt ATTACKED 💀
I'm 11/5. Just landed in middle school, actually.
This video hit too close to home. I'm a smart kid, at least that's what I consider myself to be, and I protect it with my life. I admit that I have been competitive, envious, and jealous of other people when they proved themselves to be, well, better than me. I cling to my reputation and title as a "smart kid" and protect it fiercely.
Why? Because it seems that I feel my stomach drop and time slow whenever something comes up that even remotely indicates that I'm not intelligent. It's like if I'm not the best, I'll die because that's who I am. If I'm not the best, then I am no longer me, therefore I am gone.
Moving on, being smart sucks. Of course, it gives me the love, attention, and praise that I love, but it also brings up so much unnecessary stress and pressure. It's like I always have to be smart and can't have that waver, ever, again for the same reasons I listed earlier. I want to be average so the pressure will go away, but being average is like being a background character. It makes me feel insignificant. If I'm smart, it's like being the main character. The main character is usually good and praised, but it comes with a plot. A plot that places pressure and stress (usually) on the character. Now, that's not fun.
Being special feels- well, special. Once that's taken away? Then you're not special anymore. Sounds simple, right? Wrong. It's like getting privileges all your life, then having it taken away from you all at once. Other's may not see it as a big deal, but it is.
Anyway, I have no idea how to end this tangent, so I'll just cut it off.
Watch the video again. This guy's been where you are now. He has some really good advice that it doesn't hurt to hear more than once.
I'd also encourage you to try something new that you're not already good at. Doesn't have to be an in-school thing, either. A couple of years ago I started learning Chinese, and it's been a game changer for me. I'm really super good at English, but I have to really work to do well with Chinese... but it feels great when I finally get something right after missing it in earlier tries. It's totally worth the effort.
All the best in middle school... Make some friends and have fun!
Thank you :-)
When I was your age, I envied you and people like you.
Me? I was lower educated. I have been told that my life holds no value, that my dreams of becoming something in life or studying in a certain sector, would be impossible for me.
Instead of praise, I would be mocked.
I also got competitive at school. Not because it was asked of me, but because I wanted to prove them wrong. Because smart kids looked down on me for trying so hard to solve questions that they could answer with only a fraction of my worth.
Being special means something, and it is so valuable as a loser. But I am glad that whatever I did worked.
Sorry, this is me talking about myself, but one thing I beg if you, as well as in the video is for your to accept the parts of you that aren't brilliant. You are a human being, failing is part of the process, and moving forward makes you a smarter person because you can deal with yourself better.
Also that that your life isn't worth because of your title, but because of the effort you put in it.
It is the reason why I can go toe-to-toe with the people that were gifted, and it is the reason why people want to give you praise.
You are the main character, even if you fail and even if you feel like people aren't praising you. Love yourself, qnd grow as a person.
@@cmaven4762Pure Facts, the commenter better listen to you
the gifted kid + learning disability combo made me normal level educations but im significantly sillier than everyone.
Spot-on! Well done. Your perspective is so underrated but very handing in navigating through life. Thanks.
I am in a very weird position because I WAS considered a gifted kid... But nobody could grasp why they felt that I was that way. Eveyone just kinda said "wow you're smart for a 12 year old" but NEVER elaborated on it, and right now the question I tell everybody like my parents, an old teacher or similar when I tell them that I have nothing going on for me and they say "but you were such a talented kid" is: "yes, but what talent of mine specifically did you think would give me an easier life?" and they NEVER answer, they just give me a weird confused look.
Yes, these are phrases of false motivating positivity….they are generationally passed down. If you are self aware enough and have good critical thinking …you catch on to how much bs it is. It is easy trap to fall into full on self delusion
Hahaha this
I didn't even have to put any work into basically any of my studies until I graduated at 17 and now I am incapable of putting in an effort and also utterly useless 😀
You'll be alright dw
yupppppppp
Seems like the path im going on. I have an urgent problem to fix for the next 3.5 years before I graduate. Because I already feel incapable of studying properly and envy those who can around me.
Studying is easy. I look at homework, and I want to die. Even if I like math and am happy when I do it. I just... can't get started.
My younger self was very called out by this video. It's kinda wild how similar our situations were in school, upto also being told I was the worst in AP in high-school (I got downgraded in grade 11). You perfectly described the ego you get from being "gifted" and the problem with media and adults reinforcing it.
This is awesome! Outside of the humor, there are some real pearls in this video.
This really hurts but it is what I absolutely need. As a 26 year old, thank you very much.
5:49 THIS IS THE GREATEST LINE EVER AND I ACTUALLY AM GOING TO BE QUOTING IT FOREVER AND I LOVE IT AND THANK YOU
BE PROUD OF THAT LINE
ITS FANTASTIC
This is so relatable, I had to literally sit down
Applies to software engineering too.
9 year old working at Google, Apple, Facebook etc. And I'm 17, with none of those.
I'm not late to the party, I'm just going great, moving at my own pace. This video was therapy. Thank you
Isn’t that child labor or something?
@@musicrocks0138exactly what I thought 😂
I was a ‘gifted kid’. Luckily, there wasn’t much fuss made about it. It was just sort of known and accepted, so I didn’t really get any emotional damage - only a protective layer of self confidence.
Unluckily, I was really just a little ahead of my peers in the sports festival that is school life, so I never actually learned any proper time management or study skills. Nobody ever cared when I didn’t hand in homework 80% of the time because I was ‘so bright’ and ‘articulate’ and, I guess, they didn’t think I needed it? The gaps in my knowledge grew and grew and I just continued cruising through life the way I always had until suddenly the ‘so smart, you must be so proud’ kid was failing core classes and suicidal with the feeling of having no future. It had to get to that stage before I - or my parents, despite what must have been steadily poorer grades over the years - ‘noticing’.
The perceptions we have of people really can blind us to so much.
Needed this video SO MUCH, you don't even know! I grew up as one of the "gifted kids," never really studying and still ending up at the top of the class. I internalized the whole "smart people are born smart and don't need to try" to the point that I never bothered to learn how to study. Then my first year of college comes along and turns out... you can't really get by without studying at least a little (shocker). Barely passed my first year and consequently drowned in humiliation. I spent summer break reading up on study habits, and now I'm hoping my second year goes better. 😅😅 This video really helped solidify a lot of my realizations though. Who gives a shit about being "gifted," I'll aim for competence instead!
How’s it going?
@musicrocks0138 better but still not great 😅
14:36 Finding out IQ was just a racist myth really shattered the smart kid ego when I was like 17. I don't think the question has a proper answer
Wha s your iq?
@@Zero_fn1Mine is 139. IQ doesn't mean anyrhing because post education work is just work and you have to have a good work ethic.
1500 IQ doesn't mean shot if you don't like to to study or desire to leave your basement.
@@blasphimus u right bc i have 130 but im honestly not that smart in a lot of ways and i dont thing iq tests are accurate
this video is both a punch in the gut and a pat on the back. thank you David.
This was so great for me to hear. I won 4 national championships before my senior year of college after double titling my junior year. However, by time I competed I’d already been developing PTSD from many factors, including the team environment. Returning to the team caused horror and confusion to the point that I couldn’t function. This is how I found out, and I then had to rework my whole life to nurture my mental health. Not being an athlete or competing for titles shook my whole identity. I replaced hard work, gains, and championships with journaling, tea, and walks. Now that I’m a few months into recovery, the biggest takeaway I’ve had is that I deserved to be able to relax a lot sooner, and that we humans aren’t put on this earth to do work for organizations or things “much larger” than us, or to feed someone else’s old legacies. The work that we do is meant to contribute to relaxation, fulfillment, and preparation for the future, and if that isn’t what the work is for then reconsider why you’re doing it. A lot of us aren’t taught that, but it’s never too late to learn how to give yourself grace. I won’t have another season, but I am more important than another season, and so are you.
I was stupid growing up. I got pulled out of class in elementary school to get help with reading and multiplication. Teachers called me dumb to my face. I refused to read at home. But ya know what?! it taught me the study skills and resilience I needed to get through high school and now college. Besides, I’m a straight up bibliophile now. all of my ex “gifted” friends that were avid readers as kids haven’t read anything non academic in years.
Your story is similar to my story. 🙂
Thank you so much for making this a video!! I don't really want to go into details, but I've been really beating myself up for years over this exact problem. Words can't describe how much I appreciate this video. I'm so glad that I'm not alone in feeling this way!
AMEN that ending message was so beautiful.
At my church they were teaching us this the other day!
🙏🙏🙏🙏
Throughout college, I was usually one of the smartest or even the smartest in my major classes. I was usually relied on my others to help them with their work and confusion which I didn’t mind for the most part. It got exhausting when working on group projects and I was pulling the majority of the weight. I was truly relieved when I started my first job in my field and I was no longer the smartest. I was happy to be average again.
He was speaking my soul holy hell.
this video hits the nail on the head with the idea that “gifted kid” really is just a label of how fast you could do multiplication in elementary school 💀
On some real talk I am one of kids who grew up being told I was smart. Well, people still say that to me.
I used to be in one of those high up roles given to high achieving kids back in school. I was only one of two boys who got it. The rest was girls. So, people around me have always had the expectation that I'll be something great one day. I do feel like I haven't reached that potential but I am still working on myself.
The biggest hurdle is trying to learn to actually put effort into things instead of relying on natural talent. Like studying and working to be good at something.
18:20 I got chills hearing that…
Lmao this spoke to my self-proclaimed 'gifted' kid phase.
Boyyy was becoming an adult a sobering reality
"maybe a 9 year old shouldn't be expected to know what they're gonna when they're 40" hit home fr
Vince Staples’ track “LAW OF AVERAGES” is a personal favourite of mine from him and it’s gotten me through so much. Then this video popped up in my recommendations. I dropped out of my Mechanical Engineering degree, gonna fully focus and double down on my music production and musician dreams and ambitions.
This video has echoed a lot in the sense that even though I was never the smartest, my parents always used to say to me that I was special and that I had an unusual but unique mind. I hated whenever they said it because I’ve never been able to see it and still cannot see it. I grew up sheltered in my teenage years, so I’m finding myself having to learn a lot of lessons that people my age have already gotten through, at a much later age.
Thank you for this.
This video actually makes me kinda thankful for my experience - I got referred to a gifted school after being bored (and disruptive, apparently) in first grade, but everyone there was gifted, so there wasn't much fitting in/ego building lol. I honestly felt kinda dumb next to my best friend in grade school, who ended up at MIT. Your last point about failure was a good one though, failure was always supposed to be avoidable if you were careful and analytical enough, and that's just not how things are.
Hard work/effort to learning stuff definitely hit at a certain point but the teachers at my first school actually did a pretty good job of "learning stuff is actually worth it for the sake of just learning" so I got something out of it. I'm still awful, stubborn, and dumb at stuff I see as pointless lol. College was a ride because I'd never taken notes in my life and just memorized textbooks, but lectures were a whole new thing I had to actively pay attention to.
I was also one of those weird violin prodigy kids who ended up in a NYC conservatory, built absolutely garbage robots out of RC parts, and then became a network/infrastructure engineer, so my experience is probably on the "weird" side of the spectrum. I do think the entire 'gifted" concept is kind of flawed, it should be more "hey you seem like you could be capable of taking on more, it will be more work but it could lead to some cool stuff" and offered as an option rather than getting stapled to certain kids at random. Gifted classes kept me from being a bored first grader drawing stuff on the back of my spelling test but at that point I would have taken anything that went faster, even if it meant more work.
Ive never heard someone sum this feeling up so accurately until now
The thing is, as a "gifted kid" its not even only you that believes you should get everything automatically, EVERYONE ELSE DOES TOO. One prime example of this carrying into my adulthood is my siblings getting on my ass acting like it was the end of the world after i got a B.... in physics... AT UNI......
Being smart was my main identity and what I was valued for by my peers. I knew this identity was crumbling by middle to high school, but I pulled through and graduated with "top student" medal. Uni then proceeded to beat my ass and after successful (in terms of GPA) first year, I crashed and didn't turn up to the class in the second year. I blamed ADHD for it and while it did hinder, I knew without it, I wouldn't be some genuis, instead I would just turn in the mid assignments on time.
I think my wake up moment was when I jokingly said how bad my grade was while meeting high school classmates and they just went silent. Thinking back, I really had no other value/pizazz than being "smart" so it was pretty understandable that people left after finding out I was actually dumb and slow and worst of all, super bitter about it.
I think the worst part wasn't finding out I'm mostly an idiot, but the fact that i then tried to use my passion, art, to be my value. Which put too much pressure on what used to be such an integral part of me that was unhindered by expectations, and almost made it another tool to hopefully please people.
I'm doing good enough nowadays.
I'm 17 now man. I feel you.
I went through most of this my first year of highschool, finished it out last year. I'm burnt out and my disabilities are starting to bite me in the ass, I'm just coasting now. I wish I'd've just enjoyed my younger years, met people and stuff.
Peace and well wishes man.
I not only was a gifted kid, but i got struck by the covid and family relared issues when highschool started, so i had virtually no highschool, and somehow i still got approved to college... You can imagine the breakdown i had when i felt in in skin the skill gap between me an my peers
I feel like gifted kids get the wrong lessons taught to them about life. I never studied a day in my life, yet still managed to finish high school with a 3.56 gpa. This gave me the thought that I didn't really have to work for anything in life and I would just be naturally good at anything I attempted. This got proven wrong when I joined my schools band in 5th grade as a trumpet player. And I thought "since I'm naturally smart at all my other core subjects, this will be just as easy." I spent the next 5 years of band in the 3rd trumpet section. Which for people who don't know, think of 1st trumpet as the starters in a basketball team, 2nd trumpet as the role players who get some decent minutes and 3rd trumpet as the benchwarmers who only come out during blowouts. I quit band my junior year partly because of the pandemic and partly because I just didn't care anymore.
I would add to this that what we perceive as average and normal changes depending on the people we are surrounded by. At school I felt I was a creative person because I was the only one in my class who wrote and drew, but when I started working in games, suddenly everyone around me is creative in some way... and it didn't matter so much anymore. Add to that social media showing the best of the best all the time and you get a really distorted view of what is a norm.
I was gifted when I was younger but also, I was the super well-behaved child that listened to whatever the teacher told them. It's such a great trait according to adults when your child. Everyone thinks you had good home training but then when you're an adult and you still act like that, everyone hates it and considers it immature.
You’re hilarious 😂😂 absolutely relatable.
I was a former gifted kid who’s currently a 2L in law school. We were taught a lot before about having the “growth mindset” you spoke of as to not get discouraged in our first year when we are not immediately good at understanding the law
You're a real one for this.
easily the most accurate, engaging, and insightful video ive seen on this topic--instant sub
also i might have cried. that's besides the point
Turns out a self-esteem based on grades and vainglory is bound to collapse when you step out of school.
As one of those kids 15 ish years ago, don’t fret y’all, it actually comes back around ❤
you’ll find exceptional again
14:33 😂😂😂 I can really relate, bud, and so can a number of friends of mine. This video really put some flesh on all those thoughts and insecurities I developed over the years. Thank you!
I was talking to this girl in college once and asked what her major was and she said it was math, she asked me what mine was and I said it was linguistics and she was like "omg you're so brave for choosing linguistics, i hated english class" and i was like "i- I'M THE BRAVE ONE?" and that is an interaction I think about a lot because in the end it all just seems so... relative
Ironically, you two were more alike than you realized at the time ... lol ... it's all about systems, isn't it???
Hey, nice to see someone who likes linguistics; it's not that common; I also have a fancy for that field. Interesting perspective from your experience. How have your studies and major gone?
New subscriber. I'm just over 40 myself, yet see a ton of similarities in this video to my own life. Thank you for having that in common, but thank you even more, for validating it, and putting it into words.
This video makes me feel represented, called out, and enlightened all at the same time, and the worst part is every word of it is true
Youre lucky youre going through this now. My realization that i wasnt a genius was when i was 11 safe to say it wasnt fun. My mom still says to this day that i was such a good child and had such a bright future and how ive just devolved into a failure (im only 17 btw). Ive learned to find peace because ive realised that in order to land the conditions required to become a havard graduate at 13 id have to reset my life over a thousand times. Ive also realised that some of the most incredible people ive met so far in my life are relatively average
extremely cathartic video for someone going through this as we speak…. i can trust that it will take me years to truly grasp this idea, though, but i guess i’ll be trying? 🙌
The moral works for “non-gifted” individuals too.
I am the opposite of a “gifted kid”. In fact, school stole my childhood and my teenager years. Half of the reason, is because of my neurodivergence, which sadly, makes me difficult to learn and keep with the rest, so I had to put triple effort and time in school. And the other half, is because I wanted to proof to people that “I am smart and capable”, since I was always labeled as restarted, which makes me feel I wasn’t special.
I am in process of healing, and I am much better than before. Graduating from school showed me that the world is more complex that it seems. That’s wonderful, since it means you can do whatever you want with your life, and work for it. It doesn’t matter if you are gifted or not, not all people live in the same circumstances, so being “smart” doesn’t matter, but mostly, being open minded.
Damn this video hurts, not that I didn’t know, but it feels different when someone else talks about similar life events. Thanks for that!
Man, I completely relate to this experience. The thing that really started my journey away from it was developing purely self-driven interests, and the beauty of comedy. Being able to laugh at yourself is so important for developing the kind of humility that's crucial for connecting with others, and it lets you dismantle those narratives you never chose for yourself.
This video was affirming. I’m an artistic savant and it takes me time to learn things. I can teach myself anything artistically but again, it takes time. Less time than the average person, sure. But still takes time. I was feeling down bc I was like it’s taking me time to learn how to sing to the level I want. But the fact that I’m teaching myself so many things is WILD. And mastering them eventually. Wild. I’m a gifted kid who learned I’m just an ordinary person who can do extraordinary things. I’m someone who has to try. Even special people have to try. So keep trying!!!!!
Ooooh new channel to obsessively watch!! I’m like 5 minutes in and already love the video, especially the green screen on the floor-I haven’t seen that before and it’s really cool.
On a side note, I relate to this video so much already. Im 18, and in the last two years I’ve gone from thinking I was going to be one of those kids who made the news for getting into 17 million top colleges (and honestly I had a fair chance, my stats weren’t insane but I had a decent chance) to genuinely not knowing if I would graduate. I did, by the way, like 2 weeks ago. But the gifted kid syndrome is real; I’m just learning how to actually put in the work, and weirdly enough it was theatre that made me do that. I was a gifted kid in theatre as well, but I loved it enough that the failure made me want to succeed. Now I just need to apply that to calculus or whatever the fuck else
"A lotta people dont think to do that" took me out lol
This hit wayyyy too close to home. You said things here that I'm not sure I've ever had the courage to admit to myself.
I honestly don't think i started to grapple with a lot of these feelings until college, which sucked. A lot. I've graduated now, and hopefully I'll never have to go back. I was somehow stressed and bored almost the entire time. I'm working now and I like it more, mostly. I like having that separation between work and home.
One thing that really helped me was trying new hobbies and letting myself just. Be bad at them. I let myself have fun making things, rather than worrying too much about the end result. It's not an easy mindset shift, especially if you've been entrenched for multiple decades, but it's well worth it.
This was an incredible video, thank you so much for sharing! A lot of what you said resonated with me as a former gifted kid. As a child, I was constantly praised for my intellect and talent, stuff which I personally never had to work for. Whenever I did have to work for anything, I got frustrated and upset because I subconciously viewed it as a moral failing. Since I had to work, I must be dumb which means I must be a bad person. That's still something I've been struggling to undo, but I've been working on it.
What you said at the end really stuck with me. Not only should you accept that you are not any better than anyone else, but you should also value the effort you put into things. Not too long ago, I competed in the International Thespian Festival with a pair of monologues. I had gotten full marks across the all criteria from all the judges at regionals, and was excited to show my stuff at a national (yes it was national, the name is misleading lol) level. I didn't even prepare that much and I got full marks! Hell, I could get superior (equivalent to an A) or even the coveted Thespy award at that rate! The competition came and I performed. I got a cumulative rating of excellent (equivalent to a B). At first I was disappointed, even felt a bit like crying, but I told myself not to. It's okay, I can try for superior and be better next time, I can improve and I can win. I *will* be good enough next year. This video has made me rethink that approach though. Yes, it's good to be ambitious and strive for great things, but what really matters is the effort you put in. Me not getting top prize wasn't okay because I still had time next year to get it, it was okay because I tried my best and I had fun. That's what really matters.
Funnily enough, a lot of what you said also applies to social skills. My gifted class was completely separate from the other classes, so we ended up being an isolated fishbowl of weirdo nerds. As a result of that, I never learned proper social skills. When I started high school, I was really worried that I didn't truly know what I was doing, I felt like everyone knew something about socializing that I didn't. Over time, I've been working to dismantle that idea and accept that yes, I might not know everything, but neither does anyone else. And just like any other skill, social skills are just that, skills. They need to be learned and just because I might be learning them later doesn't make me a bad person. Hell, most of my friends hardly seem remember any of my social blunders.
Anyways, this got long haha. Once again, thank you for this lovely video!
This is the video that hit me the most from your channel.
This is the exact same approach i had. When i was a kid, i used to be called “the genius” of the school. Even though i had no idea why people said that and i was kinda disturbed by the attention i received. I felt like a normal kid all the time.
Once i grew up, idk why but i realised the same thing you did. That you have to work in school for good grades even if you’re smart. And that was a big NO for me. Because if i studied, i would be called average on my mind. And if i was average, i would be called a dissapoitment from my family that taught me that all the time. Let more comparing myself with other peers didnt help me much either. This mindset that i’m smart and therefore i have not to study made me more undisciplined. And it ended up like a disaster in college. I’m still trying to recover
I did put in all the efforts. I worked hard to reach that peak growth mindset perfection. All the average students have jobs now. I am burned out as hell and unable to work. Average isn't a bad thing, it's very healthy and balanced. If only I had spend more time on having fun...
True dat..
16:25 felt that. My dad was telling me in my second semsester that the point of school is to learn, and the good grades come after (even though you can get good grades without retaining knowledge to keep up appearances) I'm still not sure if I've fully taken that in yet.
child me needed this video so bad. thank you 💛
Dude, that was the most relatable thing I've ever watched. In elemantary and middle school I was the star, always being looked up by my peers and teachers. But in high school and college, things were getting harder and people around me were more like me (gifted and hardworking people who were picked there by an exam). I am no longer an outstander, just an average student who needs to put effort to not fail. But the worst thing was I was so used to get good results with little effort, I made the faulty assumption that I can and should fix every flaw right away before moving on. For example, if I didnt understand a little part of a lecture, I would dwell on that thing until I got it right and then move on. But this takes a lot of time and made me unable to finish the syllabus before exam, which felt awfull. This habit also made me afraid of mistakes in every field, even in my hobbies like knitting or drawing (I didnt make much progress in them either). But only now I realize, its not that deep. You can make as many mistakes as needed to proceed, just focus on the proccess. Just like he said in the video, you are not a circus animal so dont worry about the outcome much, focus on the journey and the joy it gives because trust me, if you let the mistakes be everything becomes much doable and less tiring, you'll find contentment in your work.
Thank you for making this video. I'm currently in the middle of tenth grade right now and my enviousness and lust of other people who actually put in the work made me lose all my friends, and now I have to go through the rest of this year full of a class of people that hate me. I gave up on working hard for most of the time I was doing my IGCSEs and I have nothing now, except a few letters on a page. This is a bit egotistical but I feel like I fit exactly into your definition of the fake smart kid. I've already realized I'm just lucky. I've coasted through most of my life, and now that I actually have to think and keep myself to a schedule, without the help of others to push me through while I drag my feet, I feel like the biggest fool in the world. Everything up to this point has been wasted time. Nothing matters now except passing exams.
im not that gifted but i was above average, i have that same realization now that i have to work hard to be able to do stuff, it fucks up my whole view in the world. combined with somewhat distant relationship with my family, I get that feeling where you gotta somehow put up and be better at school work compared to other kids, not to mention the constant comparation with other kids.
i think since then i've been gradually declining more and more as a person. i fucked up my chance of doing something that i wanted to do, now i think back that's not what i really want. and i never really knew what i wanted, until now i still don't have a purpose.
so the lesson is, you gotta somehow give your own kids enough attention, and let them know that the world is big place and you are going to lose in life. or you'll end up having a depressed ball of disappointment for a kid.
man you are a king, everyone in comment section is having same problems, such a relief tbh, because, you feel like this is only YOUR problem no one else have, but, it seem many have it, anyway keep focusing people and hard working, you are not alone
The ignorance is bliss had me crying! 😂 This is so good! Also please share what it’s like being the gifted black student 🤎. The pressure that comes with it, to lift your community and also to prove to those that are prejudiced (especially in academia)… SMH 😑
This only has 406 views?! Unbelievable! This is extremely high quality work, keep it up!!
God I related to this archetype so much, it went right to my head and I still haven't fully recovered from the ego boost that gave be
when i was in elementary school i was part of the smart kids class then i was put in the normal kids class. I saw both worlds and from that point i called myself average and i was fine throughout college days. And I'm glad I had this realization that I'm normal and that's alright so thank you for sharing my man. I appreciate it
i saw you on my recommended and i genuinely had no clue you were this small of a creator. keep up the good work man, this is a great video
remember trying to explain that getting put in gifted classes as a kid and having to learn how to actually do school way later was like starting halfway up the ladder so everyone already thought i knew how to climb lol
I just ended up crying at the end but I still needed to hear this.
OMG. I relate. To this day I struggle with hard work on a conceptual level. Things used to come naturally to me as a child and I was praised for it. I still try to emulate that. I favour flow, being in the zone, effortless work rather than hard
i'm a high school senior applying to college right now and goddamn i needed to hear this (especially as a music major)