"Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress) - The Hollies - Misheard Lyrics

There are some songs, bless their little hearts, whose lyrics I have never been able to properly decipher. I bought this fantastic song on a 45 in 1972, after learning it was indeed the Hollies, and not CCR. But the tsunami of studio echo thwarted me. So I decided in 2020 before I would look up the actual lyrics on the magic internet, I would transcribe them here as I've wrongly heard them for nearly 50 years. When I was a kid, all I could figure was that it had something to do with a guy, a lawyer, some kind of cop trouble, and a sexy lady wielding a dangerous pointy tool who might be Wilma Flintstone. Please to enjoy.