The fact that these pedantic bullies did not put you off cello is a testament to your love for music, your determination and your talent. I've only been playing cello for a year and I am an adult, so I accept the fact that I will never go to a conservatoire, but that does not mean that I will not study and work hard with my teacher and be the best cellist I can be. Thank you for being an inspiration to people like me.
fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuck this hits SO close to home. I have a similar story, but I started double bass (and classical music) even later - at 18. I was always the underdog throughout my undergrad, and didn't feel like I had any respect until I hit my master's degree - which I ended up preparing for my auditions on my own, without a teacher. I'm now slowly building myself a life in music - through orchestral subbing, backing singer-songwriters, pop gigs, and even a new live band burlesque gig. I'm also working on building up my experience in early music and in low string scholarly work. I'm not at a sustaining level yet, where teaching and playing can pay my bills, but I'm moving towards it. I'm excited for my future. To all the people who didn't see me as a potential success, I say "The best revenge is a life well-lived."
I'm a year late on this, but thank you for sharing your story! I'm also a double bassist who started playing at 18 (I am now 19). Right now I am a music major (concentrating in therapy, mezzo-soprano voice), but someday I want to play in community/semi-pro orchestras and was feeling like it wasn't possible. Now I know that it is. It's amazing how far you've come; you should be proud of yourself!!
This seriously hurt my soul, i could relate so hard. Played tuba in high school. I started teaching myself the flute at 17, took private lessons at 19, and got into the school of music in the same year, and boy am I BEHIND. I place okay in placement auditions, some are good and some are bad and I am a performance major, but I feel so behind on all these basic rudimentary techniques. Most of my lesson is spent my professor pointing out and correcting my bad habits from teaching myself. I’m playing rep as a 2nd semester sophomore that the freshmen are playing and it’s demoralizing. I have a freaking recital in the spring filled with pieces that freshmen are playing. Bah.
I know that this is an old video at this point, but hearing your experiences in music school is great for me right now. I started playing violin when I was 18 and got into undergrad without ever having a single private lesson. I was always the underdog, back of the section, not taken seriously. I have my bachelor’s now and am a full-time high school orchestra teacher with way more gigs and professional performances and recordings than my colleagues in school who always got all of the attention. This is very inspiring for me as I prepare for graduate school auditions still feeling like I’m behind my colleagues. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story! This will help get me through grad school auditions!
I definitely can relate to this. I was definitely an underdog in undergrad. I started violin/viola in middle school, I couldn't afford music lessons, and could only afford sub par instruments. I could barely make All-State orchestra, and when I got to university, I was way behind. But I what I lacked in performance chops, I made up big time with me also being in chorus, band, and marching band in high school. It also helped that I got a 5 on the AP Music Theory exam. My aural skills, music theory, music history, and instrumental methods classes were a joke, and I was quite unrivaled outside of performance class. I even finished the entire MacGamut aural training program because it was a joke. But the university was strongly performance track, and I simply couldn't keep up. I wound up flunking my sophomore year viola jury, and getting kicked out of music education. Talk about pure humiliation being the literal "black sheep/ugly duckling" in the music school. But all my, untapped and unrivaled strengths in aural skills and music theory, I turned to music composition. My music career took immediate flight after. I now teach band, chorus and orchestra full time at a private school, I compose for several orchestras, and perform with several semi-pro orchestras. Through music composition, teaching, and professional experience, it has made me a better overall musician. I picked up serious violin, viola, piano, and string bass proficiency in the process. I'm almost 9 years out of undergrad, and I'm arguably 1000 times the musician I was undergrad.
I think in the 21st century we need to think outside the square. These days there just aren't as many orchestra vacancies around these days. Elitism is (in my opinion) a problem in classical music even in this day and age. It is very refreshing to hear that you actually started later (I started cello at 10). I am sick of hearing about child prodigies because it puts older players off (not denying their gifts of course). You are proof that it is not all about age and technical brilliance. Passing exams isn't everything (not totally discrediting it of course). Anyway that is my rant over. From a fellow cellist in England :-).
I never wanted to be a young professional for this reason. I've played in concert band my entire life, but I never played in an orchestra before. I always wanted to have a day job as a librarian and then as I got older if wanted to be in orchestra it'd be because I wanted to do it and on my own terms (musically speaking). I finish my trial for a regional symphony in a month and they're hiring me as a librarian...it's my first job and I'm 30 looking forward to moving out of my parents, paying the ridiculous amount of debt I'm in (two degrees, 4 year and a 2 year) and eventually moving in with my girlfriend/future wife . I also plan to donate half of my income. Emilyplayscello: if you need it, keep up the awesome work. You get it.
Elitism is a problem it’s even prevalent in the opinions about how much you spend on a cello. To these people a 10,000 dollar cello is a toy. I personally think this is purposefully done to keep some people from progressing
Hello! I am from Mexico, I am classical guitarrist and my story is very similar to yours, I was the worst, plus my physical health was really really bad at that time, so thank you for sharing your story, your encouragement and your words.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, this is exactly what I needed to hear. I’m a bassoon major at conservatory and also hopped on the performance train late, deciding to pursue performance mid way through my junior year of high school. I feel so behind, like a runt as you put it. I know performance is what I want, I can’t imagine doing anything with my life that’s not music, but I don’t feel like anyone believes in me here. Your story really touched me, and I know I need to keep fighting. Thank you Emily!
When I was a musician I too had problems with one of my teachers - it took about 6 months to sort that out and I nearly gave up. The choice of a teacher and the learning environment is so, so important. Hear's to you Emily for putting your story out, and finding and creating what you need.
This is just what i needed to heard, i always wanted to be a composer. Im 19, i play keyboards since i was like 12, but i have never take a single piano class, mostly because the economy of my family, here in Mexico the conservatory and the pianos are expensive, so i had to study marketing at my local college. About 4 months ago, i decided to take the biggest risk of my life, i dropped the carreer at the 4th semester, cutted my long hair and went outside looking for a job. i'm actually saving for books and a piano, because i want to apply for a composer career, but i always had fear to think the things i need to learn were impossible at my age or in the time i want to do it (A year) so, thank you for share this, it means a lot for me, im not a religious person, but it was like a sign from heaven.
Hi Emily! I found you and subscribed yesterday on youtube and Patreon and had already thought that you would be a great inspiration for what I have been planned for my career. And now that I saw this Video I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience! As a 33 year old foreign violin student in Germany, I relate to every thing you just told. It was really inspirational to watch you to say all those words with so much passion and power. I wish you all the best in your life!
This is exactly how I feel I was with guitar. I started taking it seriously when I was 14 both classical and modern but never felt I was good enough especially when I was surrounded by dudes who had been playing since they developed motor skills. Thanks for sharing!
You're awesome, Emily. I would have never thought you went through all of this, simply because you are such a badass now. I also started playing late, started private lessons late, but I only got into one school at my undergrad auditions. I started out as an education major because I was told that would be best "given [my] skill level." A couple of years later, after working super hard and falling back in love with playing, I decided performance was what I needed to be doing, and I went for it. Being an underdog can generate real drive and ambition in people, as it clearly has for you. Your comment about relevance is so spot on. Years ago, going to a good school, studying with a great teacher, and working hard was enough to make a career. If you wanted to be a soloist, you competed (and won) major competitions until you were signed by an agency and then your career was basically made. Things are incredibly different now, but most music schools simply haven't caught up and figured out how to prepare their students for the ever-changing world.
For one, so glad you "went for it" with performing because you bring such a gift to the world with your playing!! I actually cut out a comment I made about the concept of "just be a music ed major" because I too was faced with that suggestion for the same reason. That's not how you make a good educator... making a "failed" performer settle! I know so many great, *true* educators where that's their passion. And lastly, yes, it's sad that conservatories haven't adapted yet, but hopefully they will with time.
I am so glad you speak English so clearly and I don't have to watch the subtitles to completely understand what youre saying, thank you for sharing that, I think there are way too many musicians out there hat need to hear some motivation from other musicians because as you say, as a musician it's easy to compare yourself to others that have better techniques and a higher level and feel like you don't have nothing to offer, I think I'm gonna watch this video again when I start music at some school, I hope that's soon and that you continue always to make music:)
This was such an honest, encouraging and inspiring video to watch.. Some of the points you made about being in music school and how negative or even toxic the environment can be and against you when you are not the best play truly resonated with me. It means a lot to see someone who's felt like I have in the past and overcome it in such an original and positive way! This is amazing! Thank you so much for this video Emily! I wish you only the best!
It makes sense that the early music crowd is much friendlier than classical musicians: smaller ensembles, quieter instruments, flexibility, improvisation, etc. Classical music, in, my view, is monstrous, as evidenced by the wonky exoskeletons of keys on oboes and clarinets, the sheer size of classical orchestras, the need to project sound over large halls, and the value given to virtuosity. I'm glad I went straight for the recorder and avoided all the gatekeeping.
Your so inspiring!! I’m 22 and just started learning the violin this year. I want to become a musician but I can barely read music. I’m going to keep practicing and you give me hope that I can make it! Thank you!!!
I've listened/watched many or your videos, and watched your live performance today on UA-cam, yet I had not seen this video. Very well stated! I have a similar story to yours, and I won't go on, but I had to make things work my way, just as you did. We both rock!
Hey Emily! I just want to say I really needed to hear this and I'ms so incredibly happy that I clicked this video from my recommendation :) I never had any private lessons until I get to college and for the past 2 years I've came to the conclusion that my teacher wasn't the best I should need right now, I'm not that close with my studio (personality and work ethic-wise), and I was also mistreated couple times by my school's admin. Thank you so so much for sharing your opinions!
Hi Emily! I used to be a music student but for the same reasons as yours I left it for a Language and Literature degree here in Spain. I tried leaving the cello but as I was away with it, I missed playing it. The thing is I am drawn to Early Music and I am considering doing a masters on Musicology. I love literature and music and for my final year I am thinking of a thesis that is somehow in the middle. Thank you for your inspiring words!!
Thank you for sharing. I played cello for a couple of years while I was in my thirties, then stopped playing. at 49, I decided to pick it back up, and have been taking lessons for the past two years. On one hand I get frustrated that I see so many younger people with so much more talent than I, but on the other hand, I'm playing things that were unimaginable 2 years ago. I related to your comments about putting yourself out there. I played at my wedding, that was a beach wedding. It was a nightmare lol...the heat and humidity played havoc with my cello, and my chair kept sinking in the sand,,,and to top it off, helicopters flew over to end my piece....I use this as my guage to improve from. I try to stick with measuring my personal improvement, instead of comparing myself to others. That is the only way I can stay passionate, and continue working hard.
You're actually make me cry.. We had almost the same situation in the conservatorio, same mindset, attitude and a lot of things that you said.. Thank you for give me the inspiration.. It's feel amazing to finally have someone that really understand where am I now and what I'm facing with. Thanks
Thank you Emily, I also started my instrument at 16, and feel I'm always trying to catch up to everybody else right through University . What you said about still having ideas, a voice and expression was particularly resonant, I wish you best of luck.
Thanks Ben, and best of luck to you too! At the end of grad school my teacher said to me "you don't have to catch up anymore." The end is in sight if you keep working! :)
Wow! Lady I’m 59 yrs old and started playing and taking lessons round about my early 40’s and had felt intimidated with cellists that are better than me. Thnx for your encouragement!
Thank you so much for making this! I've been playing the cello for about a year and a half and I want to study the cello/classical music on a more serious level. It can be extremely discouraging when people my age have played for 10+ years... but I am positive that my motivation and love for what I do can get me to where I want! Greetings from Sweden 💕😊
Thank you for sharing your experiences Emily! I'm a percussionist and dealt with some of the same attitudes, environment and teachers. Some of the best musicians that ever lived never even studied at a college or conservatory. They cultivated their GOD given talent and passion into something unique with persistence, not caring what the masses opinion was of them. A great teacher brings out the best in each student and adjusts teaching methods to benefit each student. People like you can and are making a big difference in this world. A teacher with your background could help inspire so many young and old! I myself perform/teach drums percussion here in Texas. I didn't complete college but, I've never stopped learning. I do my best to give kids the help and guidance I never received. Keep up the great work and shining your light! ✌🏻💙😇
Hello, thank you so much for sharing, your story is exactly how I feel in my undergrad currently. I’ve been thinking about giving up lately, but the fact that someone who comes in underdeveloped can still make a career is so encouraging. Thank you so much!
Thank you so much to be a strong and inspiring voice and example of the classical music world. Wishing you much further success on your musical journey.
I minored in music at my university, and wow, yeah...this hits home. I started with public school orchestra, then started lessons late as a teenager. I played mostly by ear and couldn't read notes very well lol. Ledger lines were awful, and my stand partner always rolled her eyes and let out big annoyed sighs when I had to write all the note names above the notes... x_x I was lucky that the university's orchestra director thought I had some talent -- altho, I'm pretty sure he was the only one who thought that haha. The student rankings and whatnot is nuts and defeating! But I was able to have a decent teacher for my lessons, and I learned a TON -- I learned the most I've ever learned about my instrument (violin). And then I quit once I had all my performance credits, because I had had enough of all the music drama and cliques. I remember being glad to be studying "something else." But now I've learned that the "real world" is entirely different from what I saw in school, and I think I actually could have had a chance as a musician (unlike my earlier thoughts while in school). Music schools should re-evaluate how the teach things, because they are setting students up to fail if they don't show them what's actually needed to earn a living from their music. Then again, I think ALL degrees and fields of study could do a lot better teaching students how to make a living from what they are studying. We should stop comparing ourselves to others -- we should all just find our own thing and focus on becoming better each time we practice, perform, or create something. There's a market for everything. Literally everything. Technique is important, but there's a whole lot more to a music career than playing music. Playing an instrument is maybe 20% of it (at least for me...lol), yet that's pretty much the only thing universities teach. :S Hard work and learning the other 80% required to make it as a musician pushes people in front of those who got somewhere only with their talent.
I find your video really inspiring since I am very much at the same place you where in college, I took on the cello when I was about 17, when I was 26 I had the chance to study a major in music and found the same strugles you describe, I became really discouraged by this and took time to revaluate if that´s what I really wanted, and I´m still into music. My first love and what drove me to take music lessons was baroque music in the first place and I didn´t realized how far was I driven from that.
I'm a little late to party, but this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear right now. I feel a kindred connection with your story and empathized with it entirely. Beautifully spoken. Thank you for sharing ~
I'm so glad I stumbled across your story, particularly after a conversation I just had about how much I doubt my abilities compared to my peers in music school. My story is a little different as a vocalist, but I feel "behind" in the same way, not only in my vocal skills, but piano skills as well. This was very uplifting and I am so grateful that you shared you story!
I study Viola Performance at a state college with a fantastic professor who supports her students not only technically and artisitically but also emotionally. Many (not all) of the professors at my school share this same support and love for their students. I also have so many great friends that show me how much they believe in me when I am down and struggling. I am so sorry you have had such a had experience with elitism in music in college. I experienced a bit of that in high school, where my teachers actually pitted me against another violist, always comparing us. It was awful but I had to keep working hard, and eventually we graduated and it didn't matter. I study music and my rival isn't doing anything serious with it, for the record. Anyway, you are completely right that the best thing you can do for yourself is landing in a supportive environment with teachers, professors, and peers that will inspire you and invite you to grow into the musician you want to be.
Thank you for sharing your personal story about the ups and downs in your music career. And also thank you for the videos on the proper techniques which I will keep in mind when I start lessons. For me it will be for personal enjoyment by taking that leap of faith; you never know unless you try.....
I personally want to say you thanks a lot for sharing your story, I'm a violin student in such a similar situation and to see how everithing turned out to you lifts a great weight from my shoulders. I am 17, from Bogotá, Colombia and I've wanted to learn violin since four, but my family's economical situation was never good enough to afford a violin, let alone a teacher. I remember listening to music in my room and playing with a pair of sticks as if they were a violin. After all, on seccondary I could safe eough money to buy the cheapest violin out there (a nightmare to my future teacher) and managed to get inside the public children orchestra here, and as you said, I, through 2 or 3 years could learn just what I needed to avoid ruining the rehearsals. I graduated from Highschool and my dream, my target is to be a virtuoso. I finally got a great teacher who's been preparing me to the audition for our National Conservatory, the only place where my parents can pay my carreer, but the best in the Country (it is public). The audition is really hard and I've heard from tons of people who've been rejected. Thanks to my currently teacher, with whom I've taken classes since October, I can say that is possible for me to get in, but despite that, I've always had the fear that because of not having started learning being 4 I would not be good enough. I've searched a lot of violinists', cellists' and pianists' biographys looking for soneone who had a similar story to mine, but all say "started with his/her parents at 4 years", "being 6 entered x music academy", and many articles saying that it's nearly impossible for someone like me to get where I want to. Finding you with your story and your words is everything I needed to! YES, IT CAN BE MADE! You've given me hope and I thank you, I'll remember your story since now, in my audition on September, and for the rest of my future carreer as a musician.
This is soo inspiring. I agree 100% with you. Like you, I started late with my instrument, like reeeally late, at 22. But it's something that I love so much and want to base my career on it. Luckily along the way I have found people that support me and believe in me. My teachers have also been very supportive. I found a university that supports people like me and are willing to invest in me at my level of playing. But it is so true what you say about knowing your own path and finding your true passion. In music you can compare yourself a lot with others, not realizing that everybody's path is different and that we should support each other instead of putting each other down. Great video! Will use for motivation whenever I am feeling down about my playing 😉
Like Emily says (btw random note my actual name is also Emily lol) it's the passion and drive that matters the most. As long as you have that it doesn't matter if you start at 2 or 22.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Emily. I almost broke into tears after finish watching the video because I'm somewhat going through the struggles that you faced in your junior year. My teacher kept telling me that my technique is fine and I just need to practice. But deep down, I knew something is lacking in my technique. I did lots of researches and made use of a lot of trials and errors to correct them by myself. But that comes with a sacrifice- time. I spent my time working on technique rather than repertoires when my exam is just two weeks away from it. And now I'm totally struggling with it because my teacher has really high expectations on me. There are more that I can relate to you in this video but I have to stop now to practice my pieces. I hope to talk to you soon. Once again, thank you so much, Emily, for your inspiring story and encouraging words. P.S.Sorry for the poor English :P
You are absolutely inspiring to me. You spoke a narrative that I have spoke to myself many times. I have now started supporting you via Patreon, it is an honor. Keep playing and posting. You are appreciated!
Thank you so much for this video it is exactly what I needed to hear. I just started my 3rd year of my undergraduate with piano performance and cello secondary. I was at a grade 4 piano when I auditioned and now I'm at a grade 8 but I'm still way behind all the other piano students so I don't get to play in master classes, I'm usually 1st during recitals, and I get noticeably easier pieces in ensemble classes. I have a really hard time not comparing myself to others but I'm definitely trying really hard to find my place in music. Thank you for your incredible story it's given me more hope.
I had a similar experience at music school way back in the 70's UK. When I left I found my niche as a pianist for dance accompanying both contemporary and ballet. In those days it seemed that such a job was beneath the dignity of many classically trained pianists. I learned so much and was able to integrate and hone all my musical skills into this job which I did for nearly 4 decades on a daily basis, sometimes playing up to 6 hours a day. I mean playing not practising and this did wonders for my technique. I now find it somewhat comic that some pianists on the concert circuit now like to claim thier experience of playing for dance academies, you know the type, those who would look down their noses at the humble dance pianist way back when. The problem with this is that like any other employer, dance academies want committed staff who turn up for the scheduled daily classes, not pianists who prioritize their own concert engagements LOL. I am reminded of Glenn Gould's critique of the public concert circuit as akin to a ''blood sport'; this attitude has been enmeshed in parts of the music profession for far too long and needs to be rooted out for what it is - a negation of music. It sounds like you have found your niche and the very best of luck to you. Hopefully all those 'stuck up' concert cellists slaving away in their practise rooms will one day desire to 'attempt' to emulate your baroque cello style in their practise rooms.
You have no idea how much this means to me. It is hard to hear these voices that keep telling you "He/She can't play" over and over again. Luckily my teachers are very encouraging and they keep me focused on improving. I am struggling but I love playing the piano. I started playing very late in my 20s and my technique is really weak. But I know I shouldn't let these "opinions" stop me from working hard.Thank you for reminding me that I have my own voice to express.
I love this so very much. I have watched it 4 times all the way through already. I am enrolled for a music degree as a much older student and as a beginner pianist. The student politics around virtuosity is a real thing to deal with. I feel encouraged by you because I too know why I enrolled and I plan to go for further studies. The key will be to find what works for me and what gives me a career later on. Thank you for sharing. Blessings 🙌
There are a lot of musicians giving advice on youtube but yours really stood out for me. I can really relate to your story. I study composition in Germany and since German isn't my native language I find myself falling behind and struggling more than the other students who are German. My first year of college is coming to an end and I feel like I haven't done anything but hearing your story made me realize things are not going to stay this way :)
So good of you to share this as I am sure almost everyone at music school has this feeling. I too had a teacher that was a jerk who was likely making fun of me (in hindsight) in my lessons. The whole idea of a competition tends to create a mean spirited environment. I highly recommend a book by Kenny Werner titled "Effortless Mastery" which also discusses how we musicians tend to evaluate our self worth based on our most recent performance and how to avoid these types of thought patterns. Carry on.
Hi Emily, I just wanted to tell you thank you for this video. Ive always felt the same way in music school, and I`d only just recently started studying the piano and composition ( even though for years I`d been in a band and learned things by ear). Everything you`ve come across I have too, and hearing it from another musician who wants to make it in the field of classical music just makes me feel so much more alive in this moment when things arent going that well for me. I`d love to work with you someday as a conductor, or a composer, or both. Youre awesome, an absolute legend, keep on trucking. Youve made my day. =D
Thank you so much for this! I'm struggling with something similar (I'm like the ultra runt). I'm actually an English major, which I love but I also want to do my masters in clarinet and my whole freshman year of my undergrad has been a struggle. I basically discovered, through luckily getting some really great teachers this year, that after four years of lessons in high school I had literally no technique training, because my high school teacher just didn't do his job. Also, I never really practiced much in high, middle, or elementary school, because I didn't fall in love with it until midway through my senior year, so I was in serious trouble by the time I got to college and decided to go after this. I got rejected from all of the orchestras, then got amazing teacher number 1 and did a technique overhaul and worked like crazy to audition for a transfer to performance major and got yet another rejection. I knew everyone at school probably looked at me like the freak show English major who really wasn't good at clarinet but was always practicing for some strange reason. After my last rejection, it just didn't feel like I was going anywhere and I stopped practicing for a while and I was just really really close to giving up, but thankfully amazing teacher number 2(who I already knew and had recommended amazing teacher number one to get me up to speed) gave me this lecture that really made me think about where I could go and that there are other ways to do things besides the traditional steps that everyone else takes. Since then, he took me on and i've started doing a lot better since I've embraced that freak show English major who plays clarinet vibe and have decided just to carve my own path and prep for my grad school auditions and just kinda ignore everything else. ...But yeah sometimes it is still a struggle because I do still feel so, so behind. Sorry, ik that was lonnngggg. Anyways, thank you so much for this video and congratulations!
I just survived my first year as a voice major at my university and I can definitely relate to the part of your story about not being very good initially and improving because of an amazing teacher. I for one have been singing in choir since 6th grade and I did take voice lessons in high school but I quit for a couple of years after high school, mainly focusing instead on taking general education courses at my local community college and taking piano lessons. When I finally entered as a voice major at the university I go to now, it quickly became evident to me from what the professors told me during voice lessons and when I auditioned for choir that I had become rusty and had to relearn my singing technique to sound better again. But I too had an amazing teacher who helped me to improve my technique again and even push my skills further. I'm pretty sure I've sung higher notes and sounded better doing them this school year than I had ever done during my voice lessons when I was in high school and have even been able to sound decent performing a piece with difficult ornamentation parts which involved me singing melismas. This amazing voice professor helped me in more ways than one, not only with voice technique but also helping me build my confidence too. Whenever I did something right, he would always be sure to tell me how well I did and say that he's proud of me and I have gotten some of the best compliments about my voice from him.
Wow um, thank you for this. A lot actually. Ive been playing clarinet for around 4-5 years, but I've had many complications in my learning process. I've never really had much of any private teaching, and even had to take a year off because of instrument repairs and loss of passion. I'm really starting to get very passionate for my clarinet again though, and not just classical clarinet. I had the opportunity to attend a summer camp and I pounced on it. I got my first few private lessons I've ever gotten and at 16 years old I'm feeling very behind. This video helped me see that it wasnt just me and this cellest that feels/felt like an underdog to classical, but it's all these beautiful and talented people in this comment section as well. Thank you for speaking to me.
I identify with much of what you are saying. I had an academically successful experience in a Master of Fine Arts program in poetry, but I also learned that I was a very different poet that my classmates. It was hard feeling that I didn't fit in, and as a young person, I didn't quite know what to make of the situation. Twelve years later, I am finally making sense of it.
thanks and congrats . I wish i heard you saying this 15-20 years ago. I'm still a good guitar player and i know my what brings my passion into modern classical guitar. but i was silly to hear the negative people or colleagues with different point of view. your story not only gives me some hope but great memories and the " what if" i just did what made me happy and helped me work towards all those goals i left behind. Thanks , Good luck and have Fun.
I'd seen this video a while back, but it is only now staring to resonate with me! As with a lot of people here, I have a similar situation to you. Like you, i started playing the violin at 9 through my school district... but I didn't start lessons until I was about to turn 15. I had always showed interest, making futile attempts to play my favorite violin concertos by ear, but I guess it never crossed my mind that I should take the initiative to study with a private teacher. I've been taking lessons for a little less than a year now, and have just exited the stage of trying to reverse the unorthodox technique I had taught myself over the years... not to mention learning to read music. Why am I writing this? Well, I want to be a music major. Not just a music major, but a professional musician. But in today's world... no one, including myself, thinks I really can. I tell myself that it's no use practicing because I'm not going to be good enough to apply anywhere anyway. People tell me that I'm terrible and will always be terrible. Watching this video allowed me to realize just how incorrect this view is! No matter how the world will treat me, I CAN advocate for myself both through practice and the creation of opportunity. Thank you, Emily Davidson, for your contributions to the world!
Great video emily...thanks for sharing it. I always hear every musician/composer who's in business talk about how they started studying music when they were 4-5 yrs old and most of them have at least someone in the family who's totally into music. I started my musical journey when i was almost 14 and there is absolutely no one in my entire family who's professionally into music. I always thought that i am being stupid to start so late and that i have no proper contacts in the musical world. But seeing this video of yours made my heart so much lite. great content....keep sharing this awesome stuff.
Good on you for sticking to your guns and finding your niche!! There is so much ugly pressure in the classical music world, so I applaud you for finding a happy place! Xx
Some interesting insights... I see applicability in fields outside of music as well. Perseverance and intention count for a lot in any endeavor. Well done.
I'm getting ready to start music school and your words have inspired me. I haven't taken private lessons and was a little worried. I've decided to put my time and energy into what I love, composition. Subbed.
I'm a month away from 49 and am buying my first cello tomorrow. I'm glad I watched this video. What do I want my path to be? That's the take home for me from this video.
Thank you so much for your story! I stopped playing violin at around 15, and 20 years later started private lessons again with a teacher who I fit really well with, playing the kind of music I truly want to play! Time has passed, and inevitably, has taken its toll on me. I'm 3/4 deaf now, but every time I practice and learn, I get better. I feel similarly about having to catch up on technique I never learned, but I'll get there! The message about knowing deep down what drives you to make music is really something special.
I LOVE all of your advice. I'm going to be a Junior piano major at Purchase and I'm in a similar spot you were in. My technique was way behind where it should have been two years ago, and I still feel like I'm playing catch-up in many ways. Luckily I found a wonderful teacher who is fantastic at teaching technique, so I've been working hard since then. I'm starting to think about grad schools now, and have no idea what I should be looking for in a grad school. I'm hoping to specialize in contemporary rep and chamber music, although I realize I'm going have to fill many different shoes. Here are some specific questions: 1. What should I be looking for in a grad school that I wouldn't think to look for in undergrad? 2. Should I treat grad school like an opportunity to max out on practice time and learning rep, or should I look to have one foot out the door and focus on networking/gigging? 3. What device do you use for recording in your videos?
Hi Ben, thanks for your comment! Also Purchase is awesome, I'm a New Yorker originally and one of the teachers I studied with (that I loved) is at Purchase. 1. I think grad school is a great time to focus on your specific interests and start to carve out our niche. Since you're interested in contemporary stuff I think it's really important you find a school that either has ensembles for that rep or good faculty members/resident composers to support that community. This was just my approach, but since grad school is often the "last stop" of education, I think it's good to be in a city/area that you might want to stay after graduating and that has a good scene for what you do. Also a lot of players who are interested in the same things as you are, so you have potential colleagues for after graduation. 2. I think this depends on your program. Some performance-driven grad programs are fairly light on course work so that you can focus on just practicing, lessons, and gigging. My program (early music) was really heavy on scholarly work, so I didn't have much time for gigs or outside work. I would say since you need to "catch up" to focus a lot on practicing and lessons, but don't turn down a great gig when it's a good opportunity. I'd say you can pass on the mediocre gigs unless you just have a good amount of time in your schedule. You have post-graduation to do all the mediocre gigs. ;) 3. For audio I use my Zoom H4n and for video I use a Canon Rebel T3i. I do post-production work in Adobe Premiere and audio work in Garageband.
Thanks for sharing this! I haven't been pursuing a professional music career, but starting at 16 and being mostly self-taught, I even had some similar experiences with elitism when I was first trying to get into auditioned community orchestras! When I made the step upward to a semi-professional orchestra a few years ago, it took about three years to stop feeling out of place -- of the eight violists playing my first season, I was one of only two without a music degree, and the only one who hadn't started before age 10. It took about that long for other musicians to realize I was keeping up with them and start recommending teachers who could fix some of the technical issues I still had. And this was in an orchestra where about two-thirds of the members have no intention of ever becoming full-time musicians! Now that I'm principal violist in a community orchestra, I've tried to be more welcoming, especially to people who started late.
Hi Emily! I didnt finish my music degree, not because I didnt love playing the cello but I was burnt out, which lead me to switch majors in another country. I switched to Spanish language and Literature. However, while I love what I doing, I cannot leave music and the cello itself. I love both! Luckily my Spanish Literature professor, Miguel Ángel Muro, told me that I dont have to leave the cello nor leave the possibility of having a career in it. This summer I started practicing seriously, and by struck of fate, one of my cello colleagues started teaching me and started a rehabilitation. I love the cello and I love Spanish language and literature. This year I am graduating from this degree and I would love to have training in teaching literature and start training as a Suzuki cello teacher!
It’s almost scary the similarity between you and I. I also became interested in classical music later in my education and started studying voice only less than a year before my college auditions. Unlike you I didn’t get accepted any where but I am currently studying for a BA in Music and will be reauditioning this week for Vocal Performance. In my first studio lesson at college I was told that I shouldn’t try again and that I should give up, but I really believe that I deserve the chance to grow and build my technique. I’m not expecting myself to be the best right now, but I want to work to it. Thank you for sharing your story!
Your story is damn near identical to mine. I play violin and started lessons late. I got accepted into a conservatory with basically all of the issues you named and later figured I got in because they needed violins at the time. Just recently, a teacher from another university got on the faculty and brought some elite violinists, which, like your story, made me fall even lower on the bracket of importance. Where I stories do differentiate is that I actually had a great teacher all 4 years and she stood by me through my "Catching up". Thank you for this video! It's always great to hear that I'm not alone in feeling how I have always felt about the music conservatory environment. I'll be going to grad school in the fall so I'm prepared to enter back into it all, but this time around I won't care much for my "status" in the school, but growing into the musician I want to be.
So sorry you had to go through something similar, but I'm really glad to hear you had a good teacher and you persevered. Like I said in the video, these experiences definitely make you stronger and I'm sure grad school will be much easier as a result. Best of luck!!
I found this video very inspiring. Thanks so much for posting your story. I feel like the underdog too, no doubt. Maybe for different reasons though. I'm 22 and am only now graduating high school because of health problems I had when I was younger. I've taken private lessons in piano since I was 9, but only a few years ago did I feel like I found the right teacher. I've also only performed by memory a total of three times because it always terrified me. And I've never done a competition. I'm performing by memory this March and my confidence has definitely grown since I started teaching piano to kids in my neighborhood. But I want to go to music school now and I am scared that I will definitely not be quote on quote "good enough". But I'm just going to do the best I can and give it all I've got. Thanks again for posting this video. I've also recently gotten very into Baroque music and am very inspired by all your videos
What you're saying really encourages me! I'm studying piano and I'm not the best pianist, but I'm very passionate, especially about baroque music (I play Organ as well). I want to be an independent, creative musician and not only play concerts, but also compose and improvise. I feel like I have the right mindset to become a successful musician now, despite my mediocre piano skills. Your story is really inspiring, thank you so much for sharing it!
Such a great video. Thank you very much for making it. I am studying music in college and I went trough similar experiences as yours. Really relate to everything you are saying
Thanks for this. I’ve definitely seen that before. Despite not being a music major in college, I spent lots of time in the music building and classical musician culture can be pretty toxic. In college, I actually ended up finding some musical styles and stuff that seem to work well with and match with me. I’ve been graduated for 6 years now and part of me is honestly thinking about going into the music field. Even though I’ve still been doing music these past years, I know that I’ll be the underdog if I end up going to music school now, so this video is an encouragement. If I do decide to go to music school, I’ll know what I want and will be striving for that. Thanks again for this video 🙂 I’ll update if I decide to do it or stay with my current career path.
I was 22 when I started really delving into music seriously, because it was then when I started to become interested in making my own music. Before that it was just a hobby that l did when I felt like it. I feel like I had developed a good intuition and a decent ear for recognizing musical patterns, but my instrumental chops and knowledge of music were terrible. Nowadays, at 27, after years of solid instrument/theory/composition practicing on my own/with some private lessons, I feel much more confident in many areas of music and I'm just about to start full time music studies next year. I'm definitely still the underdog when it comes to playing my instrument, but since my goal was never to become the best pianist ever it's quite okay. The lesson here is that finding your own thing (mine is composition) and your own way of doing things takes you quite far, don't listen to people saying you are too old for music. I think vision, curiosity and persistence take you much further than just plain raw skill.
Hey! I loved your video and story because it really gives me inspiration and belief in myself! That's why I'd like to hear advice from you- i'm 16 (even older that what yo were) and I've been taking piano lessons starting from the absolute zero for 7 months now, and I am being serious, knowing how far behind in compare with everyone else doing piano for years, I play at least 4 hours per day, rarely taking a day off this schedule xD and it's hard to cope with this practice and doing all 11th grader high-school things I have to do. However, I am really really keen on it and I want to get better, I want to get really good on the piano no matter what it takes, I want to believe that I can actually play the instrument. And since that will require an enormous amount of time for practice I have to get myself into an after high-school routine that will allow me this time- I even thought of applying for piano major, or at least try to, because I probably won't pass, but I know that I can learn the pieces required if I decide to do it and will practice them all the time because that;s what I am short of time xD, however I am really unsure and anxious and I don;t know if all this has a point, everything seems to be against me as we have no musicians in the family, we don;t even have a real piano, my parents are just waiting me to give up the 'new passion" which can be quite discouraging as if it isn't hard enough already; on the other hand I have a great piano teacher she's really nice and kind to me as a late-starter and always impressed but I have no idea how to explain to her I want to strive for the impossible and prove to everyone who doubt my piano skills which is mostly to myself that I can get into music school even if it takes 10 years of auditioning.
It's great that you're so passionate. Practicing 4 hours a day is incredible! With that kind of dedication you can go far. I think it's worth it to start exploring some potential music schools and seeing what the audition repertoire is and start seeing if you can learn the pieces. One important thing to do is find time to take a lesson with the teacher at a school you're applying to *before* your audition. This will give you the time to get to know the teacher, see if they're a good fit for you, and also let them know your story. No doubt anyone will be impressed with your dedication if they see how much progress you've made in a short time. If this is what you love, and you are willing to continue working this hard for the next few years, I think you should go for it. Even if you have to get accepted to a school as a different major (sometimes a school will accept you, but not as a performance major), you can always do that to get your foot in the door, then re-audition to switch majors after a year.
I'm starting soo late in life (again) but the meaning behind this speaks to me. I'll never get that good as I'm restarting music again at 29 but this story is amazing.
Thank you Emily for this story. It reminds me of my own experience many years ago when I attended an arts High School. I was made to feel I would never be good enough. I never ended up continuing music as a career path and even though I am happy with the way life ended up, I always felt something was missing. After 25 years I finally picked up the cello again and found a great teacher (something my family just couldn’t afford when I was young). It’s coming back to me now and I’m really happy with my playing. I enjoy practicing and working on the cello. Who knows, maybe playing the cello will be part of the second phase of my life. I hope educators really think about the effect they have on their students and use their influence to encourage them to be great. We need more musicians and lovers of the arts. I’ve noticed the dwindling size of music camps and youth orchestras and it’s a horrible trend.
As a really young musician, (a high school freshman) I am honestly really scared about going to college, I really wanna be a music major, but I’m scared I will just end up being a drop out for not being good enough. I am a percussionist, however I’m not very good at all percussion instruments, snare drum and drum set are what I’m not very good at, however I can’t practice at home because I can’t afford good equipment to help me so I’m limited to practicing only once a week for when I can stay after school. I’m very scared about going to college, however this video did give me some insight and you inspired to still try.
Emily, Thank you so much for this inspiring video. I am currently pursuing a music degree (actually between schools right now, I will start back up in the Fall) and had similar experiences at my previous school. I am also very much into early music as well and just recently stumbled onto your wonderful channel. I appreciate you sharing your story with us. God bless!
I am currently going to school and im looking to become a music producer and i have always had a passion for music since I was little. However it took me awhile to realize that I can actually make that dream come true. Well when I started taking classes in music I could not help I did not know anything and other students were so further ahead of me and they had all these prior accomplishments and practice. I find it so hard not to be discouraged in this class. Hell I had an audition for another school and I went to my teacher to ask for help and told him of my struggles and next thing I know he is telling me maybe I can be a chef for an artist?? So I was shocked but I have not gave up. I dont know what Im doing still but this video I felt related to one of the biggest struggles in school that I face. Glad you made it and Im happy I got to here your story.
Thank you for the video. It's good to see someone else starting late.. I'm 28 and I just discovered that I want to go back to college for violin or viola. It is quite a daunting path as, like you've mentioned, most who do this professionally have been playing from a very early age. So much time to make up for and do and understand BUT I am happy simply playing. My mindset is if whichever school doesn't want to utilize my skills as a unique individual then I don't need them. I'll find someone who does or do it on my own anyway. That said I hope I can be good enough next year when I start auditioning. This year I'm starting back up with a community college. Cheers to this adventure. Side note- You're very captivating to listen to. Good work with your videos and message you are getting across. Thank you
Hi Emily, I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing your story. I started playing the horn late, and even though I only play in community ensembles, I often feel "less than" or like a "runt" since I never had the opportunity to pursue horn at the collegiate level.
Impressive. And true, everywhere in the world. I’m an amateur violinist, and know the professional scene (did play in conservatory orchestras). Even in the amateur world this unhealthy thinking exists in many places, I switched orchestras because in the first a slippery note was not really well received, in the orchestra where I went to you were judged by the good notes. That’s a 180 degree different feeling when playing together! Second orchestra did play Bach and Beethoven, the first didn’t want to. Too simple, Shostakovich and Mahler it had to be. Until... they tried Beethoven 9, which was considered big enough, and were hit in their face. Wasn’t a great succes! Baroque, classical, romantic, modern: other worlds. Not many musicians can handle all styles. Famous example, and by far the best Chameleon (if you’d ask me): Anner Bylsma.
Wow Emily! that was an inspiring video! I am late to watching your vids. But, I'm here now. I completely have felt and currently still feel what you spoke about. Being in a very judgmental society today, I feel self conscious about how I perform. That's why I never went to music school. Well that and being told that I would never make money in music. I still dabble with my instruments. I only play 5 instruments. It hasn't been until recently I'm finding that I'm dusting off the instruments to begin making tutorial vids. Everyday, I feel that I'm still combating how am I going to make it now. How am I going to get above all these wonderful artists that carry the degrees in their craft. I often wonder if I'm just making a fool of myself. Then I see and realize as you said, it doesn't matter. With the technical training that I had from years gone by, most of it won't even matter. Most people who are coming to the vids are looking for one of two things. Either to hate on your video, because they don't have the brains themselves to go and make their own vids. Or they come to the vids to learn and gain insight. The knowledge I have is good enough for a beginning student. I can later grow myself as I evolve on this adventure I am on called "Life"! Like you I used to be the runt in some areas, as I feel especially now that I never majored in music outside of my younger school days. But the show must go one as they say, "until we drop." I look forward to watching more of your videos and gaining more knowledge from you!
I had a near identical story...my experience was so bad at my music conservatory in fact that it pushed me to drop out. I never lost music and I actually transferred to a state school where I received amazing tutelage from a top notch performer. I think people assume they need to go to a conservatory to get name recognition or excellent teaching but in my experience it's far from the truth. Thanks for sharing such hard experiences in a tactful and respectful way. All I can say is, you've shown them. Continue to go get 'em!
I've actually found that the "conservatory"' environment can be way more toxic than a state school, mostly from all the self-importance/ego/snobbery that comes with conservatory. I'm glad you found your way!!
This is really perceptive -- and maybe the hardest thing is not being too self-conscious! I wasn't a music major at all, and didn't really "get good" until a couple of years out of college, when another player motivated me to practice more and work on some stuff (although I'm not a full-time player and never will be -- my day job pays the bills). At 53, I'm just starting to realize that I might need... more jazz theory and ear training, so I might have to find a teacher for that! It doesn't end. The career skills and business sense, to just identify something you want to do and make it happen, is another thing thing musicians need to understand -- in my observation, there's very little correlation between playing well and having your band be successful; obviously, you have to sound good, but that's not enough. Your students are lucky to have a teacher with that perspective! (Oh, and by the way, the 5-year-old prodigies can stick it -- I've always found that whole youth obsession annoying, mostly because there is no such thing as a 5-year-old prodigy low brass player!)
Great points! Not enough people realize that being a successful musician is such a huge, broad thing with so many different areas to understand and invest in. Not sure why we narrow everything down to technical playing ability when success is a much bigger picture than that. Best of luck on your musical journey!!
The fact that these pedantic bullies did not put you off cello is a testament to your love for music, your determination and your talent. I've only been playing cello for a year and I am an adult, so I accept the fact that I will never go to a conservatoire, but that does not mean that I will not study and work hard with my teacher and be the best cellist I can be. Thank you for being an inspiration to people like me.
❤
fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuck this hits SO close to home. I have a similar story, but I started double bass (and classical music) even later - at 18. I was always the underdog throughout my undergrad, and didn't feel like I had any respect until I hit my master's degree - which I ended up preparing for my auditions on my own, without a teacher.
I'm now slowly building myself a life in music - through orchestral subbing, backing singer-songwriters, pop gigs, and even a new live band burlesque gig. I'm also working on building up my experience in early music and in low string scholarly work. I'm not at a sustaining level yet, where teaching and playing can pay my bills, but I'm moving towards it. I'm excited for my future.
To all the people who didn't see me as a potential success, I say "The best revenge is a life well-lived."
Your story is awesome! I think being as diverse as you describe is a really great thing and it shows your dedication and determination.
I'm a year late on this, but thank you for sharing your story! I'm also a double bassist who started playing at 18 (I am now 19). Right now I am a music major (concentrating in therapy, mezzo-soprano voice), but someday I want to play in community/semi-pro orchestras and was feeling like it wasn't possible. Now I know that it is. It's amazing how far you've come; you should be proud of yourself!!
This seriously hurt my soul, i could relate so hard. Played tuba in high school.
I started teaching myself the flute at 17, took private lessons at 19, and got into the school of music in the same year, and boy am I BEHIND. I place okay in placement auditions, some are good and some are bad and I am a performance major, but I feel so behind on all these basic rudimentary techniques. Most of my lesson is spent my professor pointing out and correcting my bad habits from teaching myself. I’m playing rep as a 2nd semester sophomore that the freshmen are playing and it’s demoralizing. I have a freaking recital in the spring filled with pieces that freshmen are playing. Bah.
is your major in flute or in tuba?
I know that this is an old video at this point, but hearing your experiences in music school is great for me right now. I started playing violin when I was 18 and got into undergrad without ever having a single private lesson. I was always the underdog, back of the section, not taken seriously. I have my bachelor’s now and am a full-time high school orchestra teacher with way more gigs and professional performances and recordings than my colleagues in school who always got all of the attention. This is very inspiring for me as I prepare for graduate school auditions still feeling like I’m behind my colleagues. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story! This will help get me through grad school auditions!
I definitely can relate to this. I was definitely an underdog in undergrad. I started violin/viola in middle school, I couldn't afford music lessons, and could only afford sub par instruments. I could barely make All-State orchestra, and when I got to university, I was way behind. But I what I lacked in performance chops, I made up big time with me also being in chorus, band, and marching band in high school. It also helped that I got a 5 on the AP Music Theory exam.
My aural skills, music theory, music history, and instrumental methods classes were a joke, and I was quite unrivaled outside of performance class. I even finished the entire MacGamut aural training program because it was a joke.
But the university was strongly performance track, and I simply couldn't keep up. I wound up flunking my sophomore year viola jury, and getting kicked out of music education. Talk about pure humiliation being the literal "black sheep/ugly duckling" in the music school. But all my, untapped and unrivaled strengths in aural skills and music theory, I turned to music composition. My music career took immediate flight after. I now teach band, chorus and orchestra full time at a private school, I compose for several orchestras, and perform with several semi-pro orchestras. Through music composition, teaching, and professional experience, it has made me a better overall musician. I picked up serious violin, viola, piano, and string bass proficiency in the process. I'm almost 9 years out of undergrad, and I'm arguably 1000 times the musician I was undergrad.
I think in the 21st century we need to think outside the square. These days there just aren't as many orchestra vacancies around these days. Elitism is (in my opinion) a problem in classical music even in this day and age. It is very refreshing to hear that you actually started later (I started cello at 10). I am sick of hearing about child prodigies because it puts older players off (not denying their gifts of course). You are proof that it is not all about age and technical brilliance. Passing exams isn't everything (not totally discrediting it of course). Anyway that is my rant over. From a fellow cellist in England :-).
Thanks for your comments and I wholeheartedly agree!
I never wanted to be a young professional for this reason. I've played in concert band my entire life, but I never played in an orchestra before. I always wanted to have a day job as a librarian and then as I got older if wanted to be in orchestra it'd be because I wanted to do it and on my own terms (musically speaking). I finish my trial for a regional symphony in a month and they're hiring me as a librarian...it's my first job and I'm 30 looking forward to moving out of my parents, paying the ridiculous amount of debt I'm in (two degrees, 4 year and a 2 year) and eventually moving in with my girlfriend/future wife . I also plan to donate half of my income. Emilyplayscello: if you need it, keep up the awesome work. You get it.
Elitism is a problem it’s even prevalent in the opinions about how much you spend on a cello. To these people a 10,000 dollar cello is a toy. I personally think this is purposefully done to keep some people from progressing
Hello! I am from Mexico, I am classical guitarrist and my story is very similar to yours, I was the worst, plus my physical health was really really bad at that time, so thank you for sharing your story, your encouragement and your words.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, this is exactly what I needed to hear. I’m a bassoon major at conservatory and also hopped on the performance train late, deciding to pursue performance mid way through my junior year of high school. I feel so behind, like a runt as you put it. I know performance is what I want, I can’t imagine doing anything with my life that’s not music, but I don’t feel like anyone believes in me here. Your story really touched me, and I know I need to keep fighting. Thank you Emily!
When I was a musician I too had problems with one of my teachers - it took about 6 months to sort that out and I nearly gave up. The choice of a teacher and the learning environment is so, so important. Hear's to you Emily for putting your story out, and finding and creating what you need.
This is just what i needed to heard, i always wanted to be a composer.
Im 19, i play keyboards since i was like 12, but i have never take a single piano class, mostly because the economy of my family, here in Mexico the conservatory and the pianos are expensive, so i had to study marketing at my local college.
About 4 months ago, i decided to take the biggest risk of my life, i dropped the carreer at the 4th semester, cutted my long hair and went outside looking for a job.
i'm actually saving for books and a piano, because i want to apply for a composer career, but i always had fear to think the things i need to learn were impossible at my age or in the time i want to do it (A year)
so, thank you for share this, it means a lot for me, im not a religious person, but it was like a sign from heaven.
Good luck to you :). I get happy when I see people going after their passion.
Hi Emily! I found you and subscribed yesterday on youtube and Patreon and had already thought that you would be a great inspiration for what I have been planned for my career. And now that I saw this Video I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience! As a 33 year old foreign violin student in Germany, I relate to every thing you just told. It was really inspirational to watch you to say all those words with so much passion and power. I wish you all the best in your life!
You are a wonderful artist and musician, i love your attitude
This is exactly how I feel I was with guitar. I started taking it seriously when I was 14 both classical and modern but never felt I was good enough especially when I was surrounded by dudes who had been playing since they developed motor skills. Thanks for sharing!
You're awesome, Emily. I would have never thought you went through all of this, simply because you are such a badass now. I also started playing late, started private lessons late, but I only got into one school at my undergrad auditions. I started out as an education major because I was told that would be best "given [my] skill level." A couple of years later, after working super hard and falling back in love with playing, I decided performance was what I needed to be doing, and I went for it. Being an underdog can generate real drive and ambition in people, as it clearly has for you.
Your comment about relevance is so spot on. Years ago, going to a good school, studying with a great teacher, and working hard was enough to make a career. If you wanted to be a soloist, you competed (and won) major competitions until you were signed by an agency and then your career was basically made. Things are incredibly different now, but most music schools simply haven't caught up and figured out how to prepare their students for the ever-changing world.
For one, so glad you "went for it" with performing because you bring such a gift to the world with your playing!! I actually cut out a comment I made about the concept of "just be a music ed major" because I too was faced with that suggestion for the same reason. That's not how you make a good educator... making a "failed" performer settle! I know so many great, *true* educators where that's their passion. And lastly, yes, it's sad that conservatories haven't adapted yet, but hopefully they will with time.
I am so glad you speak English so clearly and I don't have to watch the subtitles to completely understand what youre saying, thank you for sharing that, I think there are way too many musicians out there hat need to hear some motivation from other musicians because as you say, as a musician it's easy to compare yourself to others that have better techniques and a higher level and feel like you don't have nothing to offer, I think I'm gonna watch this video again when I start music at some school, I hope that's soon and that you continue always to make music:)
This was such an honest, encouraging and inspiring video to watch.. Some of the points you made about being in music school and how negative or even toxic the environment can be and against you when you are not the best play truly resonated with me. It means a lot to see someone who's felt like I have in the past and overcome it in such an original and positive way! This is amazing! Thank you so much for this video Emily! I wish you only the best!
It makes sense that the early music crowd is much friendlier than classical musicians: smaller ensembles, quieter instruments, flexibility, improvisation, etc. Classical music, in, my view, is monstrous, as evidenced by the wonky exoskeletons of keys on oboes and clarinets, the sheer size of classical orchestras, the need to project sound over large halls, and the value given to virtuosity.
I'm glad I went straight for the recorder and avoided all the gatekeeping.
Emily, you are speaking the truth!
Your so inspiring!! I’m 22 and just started learning the violin this year. I want to become a musician but I can barely read music. I’m going to keep practicing and you give me hope that I can make it! Thank you!!!
I am so happy things have worked out for you! Best wishes.
I've listened/watched many or your videos, and watched your live performance today on UA-cam, yet I had not seen this video. Very well stated! I have a similar story to yours, and I won't go on, but I had to make things work my way, just as you did. We both rock!
Hey Emily! I just want to say I really needed to hear this and I'ms so incredibly happy that I clicked this video from my recommendation :) I never had any private lessons until I get to college and for the past 2 years I've came to the conclusion that my teacher wasn't the best I should need right now, I'm not that close with my studio (personality and work ethic-wise), and I was also mistreated couple times by my school's admin. Thank you so so much for sharing your opinions!
This is so appreciated! Girl I have a very similar story!! Thankyou for sharing!
Hi Emily! I used to be a music student but for the same reasons as yours I left it for a Language and Literature degree here in Spain. I tried leaving the cello but as I was away with it, I missed playing it. The thing is I am drawn to Early Music and I am considering doing a masters on Musicology. I love literature and music and for my final year I am thinking of a thesis that is somehow in the middle. Thank you for your inspiring words!!
This brought me to tears, thank you very much for the precise words.
Thank you for sharing. I played cello for a couple of years while I was in my thirties, then stopped playing. at 49, I decided to pick it back up, and have been taking lessons for the past two years. On one hand I get frustrated that I see so many younger people with so much more talent than I, but on the other hand, I'm playing things that were unimaginable 2 years ago. I related to your comments about putting yourself out there. I played at my wedding, that was a beach wedding. It was a nightmare lol...the heat and humidity played havoc with my cello, and my chair kept sinking in the sand,,,and to top it off, helicopters flew over to end my piece....I use this as my guage to improve from. I try to stick with measuring my personal improvement, instead of comparing myself to others. That is the only way I can stay passionate, and continue working hard.
You're actually make me cry.. We had almost the same situation in the conservatorio, same mindset, attitude and a lot of things that you said.. Thank you for give me the inspiration.. It's feel amazing to finally have someone that really understand where am I now and what I'm facing with.
Thanks
Thank you Emily, I also started my instrument at 16, and feel I'm always trying to catch up to everybody else right through University . What you said about still having ideas, a voice and expression was particularly resonant, I wish you best of luck.
Thanks Ben, and best of luck to you too! At the end of grad school my teacher said to me "you don't have to catch up anymore." The end is in sight if you keep working! :)
Wow! Lady I’m 59 yrs old and started playing and taking lessons round about my early 40’s and had felt intimidated with cellists that are better than me. Thnx for your encouragement!
Thank you so much for making this! I've been playing the cello for about a year and a half and I want to study the cello/classical music on a more serious level. It can be extremely discouraging when people my age have played for 10+ years... but I am positive that my motivation and love for what I do can get me to where I want! Greetings from Sweden 💕😊
Thank you for sharing your experiences Emily! I'm a percussionist and dealt with some of the same attitudes, environment and teachers. Some of the best musicians that ever lived never even studied at a college or conservatory. They cultivated their GOD given talent and passion into something unique with persistence, not caring what the masses opinion was of them. A great teacher brings out the best in each student and adjusts teaching methods to benefit each student. People like you can and are making a big difference in this world. A teacher with your background could help inspire so many young and old! I myself perform/teach drums percussion here in Texas. I didn't complete college but, I've never stopped learning. I do my best to give kids the help and guidance I never received. Keep up the great work and shining your light! ✌🏻💙😇
Hello, thank you so much for sharing, your story is exactly how I feel in my undergrad currently. I’ve been thinking about giving up lately, but the fact that someone who comes in underdeveloped can still make a career is so encouraging. Thank you so much!
Thank you so much to be a strong and inspiring voice and example of the classical music world. Wishing you much further success on your musical journey.
I minored in music at my university, and wow, yeah...this hits home. I started with public school orchestra, then started lessons late as a teenager. I played mostly by ear and couldn't read notes very well lol. Ledger lines were awful, and my stand partner always rolled her eyes and let out big annoyed sighs when I had to write all the note names above the notes... x_x I was lucky that the university's orchestra director thought I had some talent -- altho, I'm pretty sure he was the only one who thought that haha. The student rankings and whatnot is nuts and defeating! But I was able to have a decent teacher for my lessons, and I learned a TON -- I learned the most I've ever learned about my instrument (violin). And then I quit once I had all my performance credits, because I had had enough of all the music drama and cliques. I remember being glad to be studying "something else."
But now I've learned that the "real world" is entirely different from what I saw in school, and I think I actually could have had a chance as a musician (unlike my earlier thoughts while in school). Music schools should re-evaluate how the teach things, because they are setting students up to fail if they don't show them what's actually needed to earn a living from their music. Then again, I think ALL degrees and fields of study could do a lot better teaching students how to make a living from what they are studying.
We should stop comparing ourselves to others -- we should all just find our own thing and focus on becoming better each time we practice, perform, or create something. There's a market for everything. Literally everything. Technique is important, but there's a whole lot more to a music career than playing music. Playing an instrument is maybe 20% of it (at least for me...lol), yet that's pretty much the only thing universities teach. :S Hard work and learning the other 80% required to make it as a musician pushes people in front of those who got somewhere only with their talent.
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your story! I needed to hear this! You have inspired me to never quit and stay true to myself musically!
I find your video really inspiring since I am very much at the same place you where in college, I took on the cello when I was about 17, when I was 26 I had the chance to study a major in music and found the same strugles you describe, I became really discouraged by this and took time to revaluate if that´s what I really wanted, and I´m still into music. My first love and what drove me to take music lessons was baroque music in the first place and I didn´t realized how far was I driven from that.
I'm a little late to party, but this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear right now. I feel a kindred connection with your story and empathized with it entirely. Beautifully spoken. Thank you for sharing ~
I'm so glad I stumbled across your story, particularly after a conversation I just had about how much I doubt my abilities compared to my peers in music school. My story is a little different as a vocalist, but I feel "behind" in the same way, not only in my vocal skills, but piano skills as well. This was very uplifting and I am so grateful that you shared you story!
I study Viola Performance at a state college with a fantastic professor who supports her students not only technically and artisitically but also emotionally.
Many (not all) of the professors at my school share this same support and love for their students. I also have so many great friends that show me how much they believe in me when I am down and struggling.
I am so sorry you have had such a had experience with elitism in music in college. I experienced a bit of that in high school, where my teachers actually pitted me against another violist, always comparing us. It was awful but I had to keep working hard, and eventually we graduated and it didn't matter. I study music and my rival isn't doing anything serious with it, for the record.
Anyway, you are completely right that the best thing you can do for yourself is landing in a supportive environment with teachers, professors, and peers that will inspire you and invite you to grow into the musician you want to be.
Thank you for sharing your personal story about the ups and downs in your music career. And also thank you for the videos on the proper techniques which I will keep in mind when I start lessons. For me it will be for personal enjoyment by taking that leap of faith; you never know unless you try.....
I personally want to say you thanks a lot for sharing your story, I'm a violin student in such a similar situation and to see how everithing turned out to you lifts a great weight from my shoulders. I am 17, from Bogotá, Colombia and I've wanted to learn violin since four, but my family's economical situation was never good enough to afford a violin, let alone a teacher. I remember listening to music in my room and playing with a pair of sticks as if they were a violin. After all, on seccondary I could safe eough money to buy the cheapest violin out there (a nightmare to my future teacher) and managed to get inside the public children orchestra here, and as you said, I, through 2 or 3 years could learn just what I needed to avoid ruining the rehearsals. I graduated from Highschool and my dream, my target is to be a virtuoso. I finally got a great teacher who's been preparing me to the audition for our National Conservatory, the only place where my parents can pay my carreer, but the best in the Country (it is public). The audition is really hard and I've heard from tons of people who've been rejected. Thanks to my currently teacher, with whom I've taken classes since October, I can say that is possible for me to get in, but despite that, I've always had the fear that because of not having started learning being 4 I would not be good enough. I've searched a lot of violinists', cellists' and pianists' biographys looking for soneone who had a similar story to mine, but all say "started with his/her parents at 4 years", "being 6 entered x music academy", and many articles saying that it's nearly impossible for someone like me to get where I want to. Finding you with your story and your words is everything I needed to! YES, IT CAN BE MADE! You've given me hope and I thank you, I'll remember your story since now, in my audition on September, and for the rest of my future carreer as a musician.
This is soo inspiring. I agree 100% with you. Like you, I started late with my instrument, like reeeally late, at 22. But it's something that I love so much and want to base my career on it. Luckily along the way I have found people that support me and believe in me. My teachers have also been very supportive. I found a university that supports people like me and are willing to invest in me at my level of playing. But it is so true what you say about knowing your own path and finding your true passion. In music you can compare yourself a lot with others, not realizing that everybody's path is different and that we should support each other instead of putting each other down. Great video! Will use for motivation whenever I am feeling down about my playing 😉
Thanks for your comment, Vanessa! Sounds like you have the passion and drive to keep at it, which is what matters most.
Like Emily says (btw random note my actual name is also Emily lol) it's the passion and drive that matters the most. As long as you have that it doesn't matter if you start at 2 or 22.
Excellent communication and sharing. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Emily.
I almost broke into tears after finish watching the video because I'm somewhat going through the struggles that you faced in your junior year.
My teacher kept telling me that my technique is fine and I just need to practice.
But deep down, I knew something is lacking in my technique. I did lots of researches and made use of a lot of trials and errors to correct them by myself. But that comes with a sacrifice- time. I spent my time working on technique rather than repertoires when my exam is just two weeks away from it. And now I'm totally struggling with it because my teacher has really high expectations on me.
There are more that I can relate to you in this video but I have to stop now to practice my pieces.
I hope to talk to you soon.
Once again, thank you so much, Emily, for your inspiring story and encouraging words.
P.S.Sorry for the poor English :P
You are absolutely inspiring to me. You spoke a narrative that I have spoke to myself many times. I have now started supporting you via Patreon, it is an honor. Keep playing and posting. You are appreciated!
Thank you, Max!! So glad to have you in the Patreon family!
Thank you so much for this video it is exactly what I needed to hear. I just started my 3rd year of my undergraduate with piano performance and cello secondary. I was at a grade 4 piano when I auditioned and now I'm at a grade 8 but I'm still way behind all the other piano students so I don't get to play in master classes, I'm usually 1st during recitals, and I get noticeably easier pieces in ensemble classes. I have a really hard time not comparing myself to others but I'm definitely trying really hard to find my place in music. Thank you for your incredible story it's given me more hope.
I had a similar experience at music school way back in the 70's UK. When I left I found my niche as a pianist for dance accompanying both contemporary and ballet. In those days it seemed that such a job was beneath the dignity of many classically trained pianists. I learned so much and was able to integrate and hone all my musical skills into this job which I did for nearly 4 decades on a daily basis, sometimes playing up to 6 hours a day. I mean playing not practising and this did wonders for my technique. I now find it somewhat comic that some pianists on the concert circuit now like to claim thier experience of playing for dance academies, you know the type, those who would look down their noses at the humble dance pianist way back when. The problem with this is that like any other employer, dance academies want committed staff who turn up for the scheduled daily classes, not pianists who prioritize their own concert engagements LOL.
I am reminded of Glenn Gould's critique of the public concert circuit as akin to a ''blood sport'; this attitude has been enmeshed in parts of the music profession for far too long and needs to be rooted out for what it is - a negation of music.
It sounds like you have found your niche and the very best of luck to you. Hopefully all those 'stuck up' concert cellists
slaving away in their practise rooms will one day desire to 'attempt' to emulate your baroque cello style in their practise rooms.
You have no idea how much this means to me. It is hard to hear these voices that keep telling you "He/She can't play" over and over again. Luckily my teachers are very encouraging and they keep me focused on improving. I am struggling but I love playing the piano. I started playing very late in my 20s and my technique is really weak. But I know I shouldn't let these "opinions" stop me from working hard.Thank you for reminding me that I have my own voice to express.
I love this so very much. I have watched it 4 times all the way through already.
I am enrolled for a music degree as a much older student and as a beginner pianist. The student politics around virtuosity is a real thing to deal with.
I feel encouraged by you because I too know why I enrolled and I plan to go for further studies. The key will be to find what works for me and what gives me a career later on.
Thank you for sharing. Blessings 🙌
There are a lot of musicians giving advice on youtube but yours really stood out for me. I can really relate to your story. I study composition in Germany and since German isn't my native language I find myself falling behind and struggling more than the other students who are German. My first year of college is coming to an end and I feel like I haven't done anything but hearing your story made me realize things are not going to stay this way :)
Congratulations, Emily, for the press attention, I told you you were doing great :-) !!
:D
You are so inspiring! I’m 21 and I just started learning violin. I want to go to college with it.
So good of you to share this as I am sure almost everyone at music school has this feeling. I too had a teacher that was a jerk who was likely making fun of me (in hindsight) in my lessons. The whole idea of a competition tends to create a mean spirited environment. I highly recommend a book by Kenny Werner titled "Effortless Mastery" which also discusses how we musicians tend to evaluate our self worth based on our most recent performance and how to avoid these types of thought patterns. Carry on.
Hi Emily, I just wanted to tell you thank you for this video. Ive always felt the same way in music school, and I`d only just recently started studying the piano and composition ( even though for years I`d been in a band and learned things by ear). Everything you`ve come across I have too, and hearing it from another musician who wants to make it in the field of classical music just makes me feel so much more alive in this moment when things arent going that well for me. I`d love to work with you someday as a conductor, or a composer, or both. Youre awesome, an absolute legend, keep on trucking. Youve made my day. =D
Thank you so much for this! I'm struggling with something similar (I'm like the ultra runt). I'm actually an English major, which I love but I also want to do my masters in clarinet and my whole freshman year of my undergrad has been a struggle. I basically discovered, through luckily getting some really great teachers this year, that after four years of lessons in high school I had literally no technique training, because my high school teacher just didn't do his job. Also, I never really practiced much in high, middle, or elementary school, because I didn't fall in love with it until midway through my senior year, so I was in serious trouble by the time I got to college and decided to go after this. I got rejected from all of the orchestras, then got amazing teacher number 1 and did a technique overhaul and worked like crazy to audition for a transfer to performance major and got yet another rejection. I knew everyone at school probably looked at me like the freak show English major who really wasn't good at clarinet but was always practicing for some strange reason. After my last rejection, it just didn't feel like I was going anywhere and I stopped practicing for a while and I was just really really close to giving up, but thankfully amazing teacher number 2(who I already knew and had recommended amazing teacher number one to get me up to speed) gave me this lecture that really made me think about where I could go and that there are other ways to do things besides the traditional steps that everyone else takes. Since then, he took me on and i've started doing a lot better since I've embraced that freak show English major who plays clarinet vibe and have decided just to carve my own path and prep for my grad school auditions and just kinda ignore everything else. ...But yeah sometimes it is still a struggle because I do still feel so, so behind.
Sorry, ik that was lonnngggg. Anyways, thank you so much for this video and congratulations!
I just survived my first year as a voice major at my university and I can definitely relate to the part of your story about not being very good initially and improving because of an amazing teacher. I for one have been singing in choir since 6th grade and I did take voice lessons in high school but I quit for a couple of years after high school, mainly focusing instead on taking general education courses at my local community college and taking piano lessons. When I finally entered as a voice major at the university I go to now, it quickly became evident to me from what the professors told me during voice lessons and when I auditioned for choir that I had become rusty and had to relearn my singing technique to sound better again. But I too had an amazing teacher who helped me to improve my technique again and even push my skills further. I'm pretty sure I've sung higher notes and sounded better doing them this school year than I had ever done during my voice lessons when I was in high school and have even been able to sound decent performing a piece with difficult ornamentation parts which involved me singing melismas. This amazing voice professor helped me in more ways than one, not only with voice technique but also helping me build my confidence too. Whenever I did something right, he would always be sure to tell me how well I did and say that he's proud of me and I have gotten some of the best compliments about my voice from him.
Wow um, thank you for this. A lot actually.
Ive been playing clarinet for around 4-5 years, but I've had many complications in my learning process. I've never really had much of any private teaching, and even had to take a year off because of instrument repairs and loss of passion. I'm really starting to get very passionate for my clarinet again though, and not just classical clarinet. I had the opportunity to attend a summer camp and I pounced on it. I got my first few private lessons I've ever gotten and at 16 years old I'm feeling very behind. This video helped me see that it wasnt just me and this cellest that feels/felt like an underdog to classical, but it's all these beautiful and talented people in this comment section as well. Thank you for speaking to me.
I identify with much of what you are saying. I had an academically successful experience in a Master of Fine Arts program in poetry, but I also learned that I was a very different poet that my classmates. It was hard feeling that I didn't fit in, and as a young person, I didn't quite know what to make of the situation. Twelve years later, I am finally making sense of it.
thanks and congrats . I wish i heard you saying this 15-20 years ago. I'm still a good guitar player and i know my what brings my passion into modern classical guitar. but i was silly to hear the negative people or colleagues with different point of view. your story not only gives me some hope but great memories and the " what if" i just did what made me happy and helped me work towards all those goals i left behind. Thanks , Good luck and have Fun.
I'd seen this video a while back, but it is only now staring to resonate with me! As with a lot of people here, I have a similar situation to you. Like you, i started playing the violin at 9 through my school district... but I didn't start lessons until I was about to turn 15. I had always showed interest, making futile attempts to play my favorite violin concertos by ear, but I guess it never crossed my mind that I should take the initiative to study with a private teacher. I've been taking lessons for a little less than a year now, and have just exited the stage of trying to reverse the unorthodox technique I had taught myself over the years... not to mention learning to read music. Why am I writing this? Well, I want to be a music major. Not just a music major, but a professional musician. But in today's world... no one, including myself, thinks I really can. I tell myself that it's no use practicing because I'm not going to be good enough to apply anywhere anyway. People tell me that I'm terrible and will always be terrible. Watching this video allowed me to realize just how incorrect this view is! No matter how the world will treat me, I CAN advocate for myself both through practice and the creation of opportunity. Thank you, Emily Davidson, for your contributions to the world!
Great video emily...thanks for sharing it. I always hear every musician/composer who's in business talk about how they started studying music when they were 4-5 yrs old and most of them have at least someone in the family who's totally into music. I started my musical journey when i was almost 14 and there is absolutely no one in my entire family who's professionally into music. I always thought that i am being stupid to start so late and that i have no proper contacts in the musical world. But seeing this video of yours made my heart so much lite. great content....keep sharing this awesome stuff.
Good on you for sticking to your guns and finding your niche!! There is so much ugly pressure in the classical music world, so I applaud you for finding a happy place! Xx
Some interesting insights... I see applicability in fields outside of music as well. Perseverance and intention count for a lot in any endeavor. Well done.
I'm getting ready to start music school and your words have inspired me. I haven't taken private lessons and was a little worried. I've decided to put my time and energy into what I love, composition. Subbed.
Thanks so much, and best of luck to you!!
I'm a month away from 49 and am buying my first cello tomorrow. I'm glad I watched this video. What do I want my path to be? That's the take home for me from this video.
Congratulations for this video and all the information provided. You are a fighter and that's admirable.
Thank you so much for your story! I stopped playing violin at around 15, and 20 years later started private lessons again with a teacher who I fit really well with, playing the kind of music I truly want to play! Time has passed, and inevitably, has taken its toll on me. I'm 3/4 deaf now, but every time I practice and learn, I get better. I feel similarly about having to catch up on technique I never learned, but I'll get there! The message about knowing deep down what drives you to make music is really something special.
I LOVE all of your advice. I'm going to be a Junior piano major at Purchase and I'm in a similar spot you were in. My technique was way behind where it should have been two years ago, and I still feel like I'm playing catch-up in many ways. Luckily I found a wonderful teacher who is fantastic at teaching technique, so I've been working hard since then. I'm starting to think about grad schools now, and have no idea what I should be looking for in a grad school. I'm hoping to specialize in contemporary rep and chamber music, although I realize I'm going have to fill many different shoes. Here are some specific questions:
1. What should I be looking for in a grad school that I wouldn't think to look for in undergrad?
2. Should I treat grad school like an opportunity to max out on practice time and learning rep, or should I look to have one foot out the door and focus on networking/gigging?
3. What device do you use for recording in your videos?
Hi Ben, thanks for your comment! Also Purchase is awesome, I'm a New Yorker originally and one of the teachers I studied with (that I loved) is at Purchase.
1. I think grad school is a great time to focus on your specific interests and start to carve out our niche. Since you're interested in contemporary stuff I think it's really important you find a school that either has ensembles for that rep or good faculty members/resident composers to support that community. This was just my approach, but since grad school is often the "last stop" of education, I think it's good to be in a city/area that you might want to stay after graduating and that has a good scene for what you do. Also a lot of players who are interested in the same things as you are, so you have potential colleagues for after graduation.
2. I think this depends on your program. Some performance-driven grad programs are fairly light on course work so that you can focus on just practicing, lessons, and gigging. My program (early music) was really heavy on scholarly work, so I didn't have much time for gigs or outside work. I would say since you need to "catch up" to focus a lot on practicing and lessons, but don't turn down a great gig when it's a good opportunity. I'd say you can pass on the mediocre gigs unless you just have a good amount of time in your schedule. You have post-graduation to do all the mediocre gigs. ;)
3. For audio I use my Zoom H4n and for video I use a Canon Rebel T3i. I do post-production work in Adobe Premiere and audio work in Garageband.
Thank you so much :)!
Great story , thanks for sharing
thank you so much for sharing your story
Thanks for sharing this!
I haven't been pursuing a professional music career, but starting at 16 and being mostly self-taught, I even had some similar experiences with elitism when I was first trying to get into auditioned community orchestras! When I made the step upward to a semi-professional orchestra a few years ago, it took about three years to stop feeling out of place -- of the eight violists playing my first season, I was one of only two without a music degree, and the only one who hadn't started before age 10. It took about that long for other musicians to realize I was keeping up with them and start recommending teachers who could fix some of the technical issues I still had. And this was in an orchestra where about two-thirds of the members have no intention of ever becoming full-time musicians!
Now that I'm principal violist in a community orchestra, I've tried to be more welcoming, especially to people who started late.
Hi Emily! I didnt finish my music degree, not because I didnt love playing the cello but I was burnt out, which lead me to switch majors in another country. I switched to Spanish language and Literature. However, while I love what I doing, I cannot leave music and the cello itself. I love both! Luckily my Spanish Literature professor, Miguel Ángel Muro, told me that I dont have to leave the cello nor leave the possibility of having a career in it. This summer I started practicing seriously, and by struck of fate, one of my cello colleagues started teaching me and started a rehabilitation.
I love the cello and I love Spanish language and literature. This year I am graduating from this degree and I would love to have training in teaching literature and start training as a Suzuki cello teacher!
It’s almost scary the similarity between you and I. I also became interested in classical music later in my education and started studying voice only less than a year before my college auditions. Unlike you I didn’t get accepted any where but I am currently studying for a BA in Music and will be reauditioning this week for Vocal Performance. In my first studio lesson at college I was told that I shouldn’t try again and that I should give up, but I really believe that I deserve the chance to grow and build my technique. I’m not expecting myself to be the best right now, but I want to work to it. Thank you for sharing your story!
and RESPECT the person that is you
Your story is damn near identical to mine. I play violin and started lessons late. I got accepted into a conservatory with basically all of the issues you named and later figured I got in because they needed violins at the time. Just recently, a teacher from another university got on the faculty and brought some elite violinists, which, like your story, made me fall even lower on the bracket of importance. Where I stories do differentiate is that I actually had a great teacher all 4 years and she stood by me through my "Catching up".
Thank you for this video! It's always great to hear that I'm not alone in feeling how I have always felt about the music conservatory environment. I'll be going to grad school in the fall so I'm prepared to enter back into it all, but this time around I won't care much for my "status" in the school, but growing into the musician I want to be.
So sorry you had to go through something similar, but I'm really glad to hear you had a good teacher and you persevered. Like I said in the video, these experiences definitely make you stronger and I'm sure grad school will be much easier as a result. Best of luck!!
I am starting cello at 71.
how are you doing so far?
I found this video very inspiring. Thanks so much for posting your story. I feel like the underdog too, no doubt. Maybe for different reasons though. I'm 22 and am only now graduating high school because of health problems I had when I was younger. I've taken private lessons in piano since I was 9, but only a few years ago did I feel like I found the right teacher. I've also only performed by memory a total of three times because it always terrified me. And I've never done a competition. I'm performing by memory this March and my confidence has definitely grown since I started teaching piano to kids in my neighborhood. But I want to go to music school now and I am scared that I will definitely not be quote on quote "good enough". But I'm just going to do the best I can and give it all I've got. Thanks again for posting this video. I've also recently gotten very into Baroque music and am very inspired by all your videos
Couldn't agree more!! Thanks for making this video!!!
What you're saying really encourages me! I'm studying piano and I'm not the best pianist, but I'm very passionate, especially about baroque music (I play Organ as well). I want to be an independent, creative musician and not only play concerts, but also compose and improvise. I feel like I have the right mindset to become a successful musician now, despite my mediocre piano skills. Your story is really inspiring, thank you so much for sharing it!
Well! Thank you for a very fine and wise exposition, from which we can all learn.
Such a great video. Thank you very much for making it. I am studying music in college and I went trough similar experiences as yours. Really relate to everything you are saying
Thanks for this. I’ve definitely seen that before. Despite not being a music major in college, I spent lots of time in the music building and classical musician culture can be pretty toxic. In college, I actually ended up finding some musical styles and stuff that seem to work well with and match with me. I’ve been graduated for 6 years now and part of me is honestly thinking about going into the music field. Even though I’ve still been doing music these past years, I know that I’ll be the underdog if I end up going to music school now, so this video is an encouragement. If I do decide to go to music school, I’ll know what I want and will be striving for that. Thanks again for this video 🙂 I’ll update if I decide to do it or stay with my current career path.
I was 22 when I started really delving into music seriously, because it was then when I started to become interested in making my own music. Before that it was just a hobby that l did when I felt like it. I feel like I had developed a good intuition and a decent ear for recognizing musical patterns, but my instrumental chops and knowledge of music were terrible.
Nowadays, at 27, after years of solid instrument/theory/composition practicing on my own/with some private lessons, I feel much more confident in many areas of music and I'm just about to start full time music studies next year. I'm definitely still the underdog when it comes to playing my instrument, but since my goal was never to become the best pianist ever it's quite okay. The lesson here is that finding your own thing (mine is composition) and your own way of doing things takes you quite far, don't listen to people saying you are too old for music. I think vision, curiosity and persistence take you much further than just plain raw skill.
Hey! I loved your video and story because it really gives me inspiration and belief in myself!
That's why I'd like to hear advice from you- i'm 16 (even older that what yo were) and I've been taking piano lessons starting from the absolute zero for 7 months now, and I am being serious, knowing how far behind in compare with everyone else doing piano for years, I play at least 4 hours per day, rarely taking a day off this schedule xD and it's hard to cope with this practice and doing all 11th grader high-school things I have to do.
However, I am really really keen on it and I want to get better, I want to get really good on the piano no matter what it takes, I want to believe that I can actually play the instrument. And since that will require an enormous amount of time for practice I have to get myself into an after high-school routine that will allow me this time- I even thought of applying for piano major, or at least try to, because I probably won't pass, but I know that I can learn the pieces required if I decide to do it and will practice them all the time because that;s what I am short of time xD, however I am really unsure and anxious and I don;t know if all this has a point, everything seems to be against me as we have no musicians in the family, we don;t even have a real piano, my parents are just waiting me to give up the 'new passion" which can be quite discouraging as if it isn't hard enough already; on the other hand I have a great piano teacher she's really nice and kind to me as a late-starter and always impressed but I have no idea how to explain to her I want to strive for the impossible and prove to everyone who doubt my piano skills which is mostly to myself that I can get into music school even if it takes 10 years of auditioning.
It's great that you're so passionate. Practicing 4 hours a day is incredible! With that kind of dedication you can go far. I think it's worth it to start exploring some potential music schools and seeing what the audition repertoire is and start seeing if you can learn the pieces. One important thing to do is find time to take a lesson with the teacher at a school you're applying to *before* your audition. This will give you the time to get to know the teacher, see if they're a good fit for you, and also let them know your story. No doubt anyone will be impressed with your dedication if they see how much progress you've made in a short time. If this is what you love, and you are willing to continue working this hard for the next few years, I think you should go for it. Even if you have to get accepted to a school as a different major (sometimes a school will accept you, but not as a performance major), you can always do that to get your foot in the door, then re-audition to switch majors after a year.
This is a flipping awesome video. I feel that it will become more relavant with time as the world becomes more chaotic.
I'm starting soo late in life (again) but the meaning behind this speaks to me. I'll never get that good as I'm restarting music again at 29 but this story is amazing.
Thank you Emily for this story. It reminds me of my own experience many years ago when I attended an arts High School. I was made to feel I would never be good enough. I never ended up continuing music as a career path and even though I am happy with the way life ended up, I always felt something was missing. After 25 years I finally picked up the cello again and found a great teacher (something my family just couldn’t afford when I was young). It’s coming back to me now and I’m really happy with my playing. I enjoy practicing and working on the cello. Who knows, maybe playing the cello will be part of the second phase of my life. I hope educators really think about the effect they have on their students and use their influence to encourage them to be great. We need more musicians and lovers of the arts. I’ve noticed the dwindling size of music camps and youth orchestras and it’s a horrible trend.
As a really young musician, (a high school freshman) I am honestly really scared about going to college, I really wanna be a music major, but I’m scared I will just end up being a drop out for not being good enough. I am a percussionist, however I’m not very good at all percussion instruments, snare drum and drum set are what I’m not very good at, however I can’t practice at home because I can’t afford good equipment to help me so I’m limited to practicing only once a week for when I can stay after school. I’m very scared about going to college, however this video did give me some insight and you inspired to still try.
Thank you for your videos they’re inspiring.
Emily, Thank you so much for this inspiring video. I am currently pursuing a music degree (actually between schools right now, I will start back up in the Fall) and had similar experiences at my previous school. I am also very much into early music as well and just recently stumbled onto your wonderful channel. I appreciate you sharing your story with us. God bless!
I am currently going to school and im looking to become a music producer and i have always had a passion for music since I was little. However it took me awhile to realize that I can actually make that dream come true. Well when I started taking classes in music I could not help I did not know anything and other students were so further ahead of me and they had all these prior accomplishments and practice. I find it so hard not to be discouraged in this class. Hell I had an audition for another school and I went to my teacher to ask for help and told him of my struggles and next thing I know he is telling me maybe I can be a chef for an artist?? So I was shocked but I have not gave up. I dont know what Im doing still but this video I felt related to one of the biggest struggles in school that I face. Glad you made it and Im happy I got to here your story.
Ashly Meadow hope it works out
This is great, Emily :-) Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for the video. It's good to see someone else starting late.. I'm 28 and I just discovered that I want to go back to college for violin or viola. It is quite a daunting path as, like you've mentioned, most who do this professionally have been playing from a very early age. So much time to make up for and do and understand BUT I am happy simply playing. My mindset is if whichever school doesn't want to utilize my skills as a unique individual then I don't need them. I'll find someone who does or do it on my own anyway. That said I hope I can be good enough next year when I start auditioning. This year I'm starting back up with a community college. Cheers to this adventure.
Side note- You're very captivating to listen to. Good work with your videos and message you are getting across. Thank you
AJ Hawke I wish you the best of luck 😊
great video Emily! First time I have watched a video like that.
Hi Emily, I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing your story. I started playing the horn late, and even though I only play in community ensembles, I often feel "less than" or like a "runt" since I never had the opportunity to pursue horn at the collegiate level.
what a great personal story Congratulations!
I think your comments are generally valuable, beyond music to other fields. Really good insight. best wishes for 2018!
Impressive.
And true, everywhere in the world. I’m an amateur violinist, and know the professional scene (did play in conservatory orchestras). Even in the amateur world this unhealthy thinking exists in many places, I switched orchestras because in the first a slippery note was not really well received, in the orchestra where I went to you were judged by the good notes. That’s a 180 degree different feeling when playing together!
Second orchestra did play Bach and Beethoven, the first didn’t want to. Too simple, Shostakovich and Mahler it had to be.
Until... they tried Beethoven 9, which was considered big enough, and were hit in their face. Wasn’t a great succes!
Baroque, classical, romantic, modern: other worlds.
Not many musicians can handle all styles. Famous example, and by far the best Chameleon (if you’d ask me): Anner Bylsma.
Wow Emily! that was an inspiring video! I am late to watching your vids. But, I'm here now. I completely have felt and currently still feel what you spoke about. Being in a very judgmental society today, I feel self conscious about how I perform. That's why I never went to music school. Well that and being told that I would never make money in music. I still dabble with my instruments. I only play 5 instruments. It hasn't been until recently I'm finding that I'm dusting off the instruments to begin making tutorial vids. Everyday, I feel that I'm still combating how am I going to make it now. How am I going to get above all these wonderful artists that carry the degrees in their craft. I often wonder if I'm just making a fool of myself. Then I see and realize as you said, it doesn't matter. With the technical training that I had from years gone by, most of it won't even matter. Most people who are coming to the vids are looking for one of two things. Either to hate on your video, because they don't have the brains themselves to go and make their own vids. Or they come to the vids to learn and gain insight. The knowledge I have is good enough for a beginning student. I can later grow myself as I evolve on this adventure I am on called "Life"! Like you I used to be the runt in some areas, as I feel especially now that I never majored in music outside of my younger school days. But the show must go one as they say, "until we drop." I look forward to watching more of your videos and gaining more knowledge from you!
I had a near identical story...my experience was so bad at my music conservatory in fact that it pushed me to drop out. I never lost music and I actually transferred to a state school where I received amazing tutelage from a top notch performer. I think people assume they need to go to a conservatory to get name recognition or excellent teaching but in my experience it's far from the truth. Thanks for sharing such hard experiences in a tactful and respectful way. All I can say is, you've shown them. Continue to go get 'em!
I've actually found that the "conservatory"' environment can be way more toxic than a state school, mostly from all the self-importance/ego/snobbery that comes with conservatory. I'm glad you found your way!!
This is really perceptive -- and maybe the hardest thing is not being too self-conscious! I wasn't a music major at all, and didn't really "get good" until a couple of years out of college, when another player motivated me to practice more and work on some stuff (although I'm not a full-time player and never will be -- my day job pays the bills). At 53, I'm just starting to realize that I might need... more jazz theory and ear training, so I might have to find a teacher for that! It doesn't end. The career skills and business sense, to just identify something you want to do and make it happen, is another thing thing musicians need to understand -- in my observation, there's very little correlation between playing well and having your band be successful; obviously, you have to sound good, but that's not enough. Your students are lucky to have a teacher with that perspective! (Oh, and by the way, the 5-year-old prodigies can stick it -- I've always found that whole youth obsession annoying, mostly because there is no such thing as a 5-year-old prodigy low brass player!)
Great points! Not enough people realize that being a successful musician is such a huge, broad thing with so many different areas to understand and invest in. Not sure why we narrow everything down to technical playing ability when success is a much bigger picture than that. Best of luck on your musical journey!!