“Still has gay orgies despite his disabilities”. Truly an inspiration to us all.
Surely, he enablitaties inspire his degeneracy, I mean amazin' unicornity 🦄
Yes, but mostly for the children. Those are the kind of role models our kids need.
"so they cut off the kid's noses in the name of equality"
The depth and brilliance of this satire is staggering.
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Don't respond to the what's app message that looks like it's coming from Ryan. It's not Ryan. It's some f'en shill. I think they work for UA-cam because they have dissapeared my replies just like UA-cam dissapears the comments I make about maps.
I thought I was ready, but Map'N Crunch still got the drop on me.
I thought Froot Loops would transition from a kids cereal to loop earrings for gays.
This is so progressive and powerful.
You're truly a man with a vision.
what does it say about our society if we DON'T do this? I know most of you think this a joke but put your insurrectionist thoughts behind you and try to be more inclusive
What's funny is that in ten years, reality will be so far removed from this that we can't even begin to speculate. Just imagine going back in time to the prehistoric era of 2012 when absolutely none of this would have made a lick of sense to anyone. We can't even imagine what sort of absurdities will exist in 2032.
Shit like this existed in 2012, it was just a little more subtle and you were probably young or still in a normie phase.
Actually most of this stuff had me blown away years ago. The reason you didn't know about it is that you weren't paying attention. I started noticing odd unscientific things going on in the west when James Watson was forced to resign due to saying something forbidden in 2007.
Regardless of what someone's opinion is, if you can't give a proper response and prove them wrong, but you resort to heavy handed tactics, it means that you very well might be wrong, or at the very least that you are afraid to find about a different truth from your own.
“Proctor & Gamble, before Proctor was jailed for pandemic 12 misinformation…”
I’m fucking dead 🤦🏻♂️🤣
@@eugenetswong Bill Gates and WHO labeled Covid "Pandemic 1". As in, the first of many man-made pandemics to come! It sure is an effective method for destroying economies to usher in a global currency.
Naahhhh....it's just a coincidence, right?
Your comment has been submitted to the local health authority. You've been marked down as a c0vid death.
I would trust Ryan to invest my money into anything at this point because no-one is better than him at telling the future exactly how it's gonna go down.
black rock is about 600-700 a share, basically moves like the SP500 , solid dividend yield, bought 3 shares myself
Ive watched enough Boyscast to know that this is a TERRIBLE idea. My money is on Dannys money.
"We're happy to announce that he's in a wheelchair" sounds like a threat.
*Floorboards creaking underneath, about to break. The judges spot this; award extra points for beauty!*
😂🤣😂🤣
WONDERFUL! How about a new "police"?". Instead of calling police and getting a "hyper masculine male", a trans team shows up and shames the criminal. Unless they're black, then they shame the victim. Keep up the great work
The police cancel the perpetrator online, and if the victim lives to publicly claim this didn't save them, they get cancelled too.
Sad to see no update on the coco puffs box where the bird’s friends and family accept him with his addiction and enable his eccentric passions for the cereal. We still have SO much work to do
"Coco Puffs" changes it's mascot but retains the name. "Coco Puffs" is now a biracial trans pornstar. Not a fictional, made up pornstar, but an actual pornstar that General Mills (recently rebranded as General Feels) hired as a sponsor.
This dude needs to create a legit sketch show. Put snl out to pasture already.
I like to think Trevor Moore and Ryan Long coheading a sketch show would have been awesome
dude, it's 2022. This IS the sketch show. Gets more views and likes than SNL, and definitely a better like to dislike ratio.
I seriously doubt it will take 10 years to take for this to happen. It oughta be factual by Christmas, excuse me I meant to say by the winter solstice.
The most accurate thing about this is Blackrock being responsible for everything
indeed! forget about the Rotschilds and Rockefellers... Blackrock is the real illuminati.... owns everything. And they actually own almost everything too, not just a conspiracy theory
I'm not joking when I say I can imagine Ryan Long's skits being played in a classroom 100 years from now as part of "21st Century Studies." His satire is perfectly captures the essence of our time.
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In 10 years? Ryan, I like your subliminal optimism!
Well, the bondage outfits in advertising just happened, so yeah, a decade was optimistic…
Incredible. This is a big step forward for everyone.
Masterful commentary, especially with this coming from BlackRock considering they control effectively every company on the stock market where the founder didn't keep a majority stake, especially since BlackRock also owned the other largest investing firms that they "compete" with like Vanguard. Totally no monopoly there
@@airops423 And have top 3 stakes in hundreds of the biggest companies in the country, making them the 2 most influential groups in our economy.....by an incredibly wide margin. Read up on "ESG" and you'll see how modern progressivism is just a scam to screw us all over and basically make being Woke an economic necessity. It's brilliant, really. Brilliant and evil.
@@GeronimoPlaz BlackRock itself doesn’t have stakes in these companies, their clients do. Regardless, I think your point is that because BlackRock does proxy voting for many of their clients, this gives them outsized influence over the affairs of many large companies which they then use to promote ESG. The only problem with your argument is that BlackRock doesn’t actually give a crap about supposed “values” of ESG. ESG is nothing more than a virtue signal that they and many other investors (who BlackRock acts on behalf of) believe will, at the end of the day, yield increased returns. The moment this stops being true, they will stop promoting ESG. BlackRock, nor any large public corporation for that matter, doesn’t actually have some sort of modern progressive value set that they “believe in.” They just believe virtue signaling via ESG will lead to more $$. You can agree with it or not, but at the end of the day it’s just an investment strategy.
@@airops423 You are collosally naive and way less informed than you represent yourself above. You have the most superficial understanding of these people imaginable.
In reality, there are very few people at the top of the financial world and they are incredibly incestuous between all industries (banking, pharma, most international corps, Hollywood, the music industry, the CIA, FBI, CNN, MSNBC, and the government, etc etc...). When I say incestuous, I say that literally. Once you get a little older and wiser to how things actually work, you'll start noticing these people are ALL MARRIED TO EACH, or related in some way.
They call the shots; ESG is the shot they're calling. These people are the top are exerting extreme pressure on the marketplace to obey their will, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
Wake up kid, this is 1984, A Brave New World, and a bunch of other dystopian novels coming together before your eyes.
The World Economic Forum is a major coordinator of this monied class's goals. Search: "You will own nothing, and you will be happy." This was a tagline in one of the world economic forum's propaganda videos to make everyone feel cheerful about the top 1% owning 100% of planet earth.
@@airops423their point has nothing to do with proxy voting, it is very common that people just have no idea how any of the stuff around the stock market works. Esg was a European request, and the fact that this still isn't known is just proof, people don't follow stocks or money. I don't understand why people believe that they should be wealthy if they don't follow any of the aspects of how money works
That was the funniest video I have seen from Ryan in a while, this was golden.
In a related story with a twist upbeat ending, Map'n Crunch was caught "swabbing the deck" with several youths and had his crunch berries removed.
This is literally how it’s playing out
Love the digs at BlackRock. More people need to know about those monsters.
I was horrified when, one day at work, I realized we had a warranty return from BlackRock NEUROTECH. We're fucking doomed, they're probably making the damn brain chips as we speak.
Ryan Long is hilarious and just keeps upping his game..
Feel free to look up the major shareholders for each of the companies in the video. Hint: Blackrock is at least in the top three for every single one (along with Vanguard and State Street). Pretty cool how a small famously insular group of people sneakily brought us the worst parts of a command economy
But it's the second-biggest sin in the world to ever notice such things about the unmentioned group.
@@PurpleyApple ESG is the harbinger of a global socialist government. Mark my buttf*cking words.
We need more of this to show how absolutely moronic this world has become.
Ryan, you’re a godsend.
@@gokux75 well the west "progressive" virus is getting to other countries. The US is the number one exporter of culture soo... The whole world will be like this
@@mayyn77 i know, thats why it is important to fight back against the corrupt westerners in foreign countries. I am an American who moved abroad and luckily where I am it is not too bad. The people who spread this shit don't usually have kids so you just have to make sure they aren't your kids teachers.
The point is that Black Rock, in conjunction with the WEF, is pushing ESG and this none sense on people because they own basically all corporations.
"Tony the tiger, we are going trans and real fat"
Furries: "That's kind of hot."
Not only was I laughing my ass off, as usual, but also saved me $40 on my sheath order.
- Thanks Ryan! Keep Beasting Bro.
There was a missed opportunity for Ryan to do a quick M&M's jingle in the style of bone thugs and harmony. "Ms and Ms and Ms and ... Tell my what you gonna do...when da chocolate cravings come for you"
Just when I thought he couldn’t get any funnier, I’m over here slapping my desk. Right out the gate I had to pause to 😂 😅
This guy has an actual time machine im sure of it
LMAO these are fucking genius productions. Selling those big jokes like they ain't shit makes it 10x funnier. Ryan Long KNOWS COMEDY!!!
This was possibly the funniest thing you’ve put out yet
As any professional you're striving to get better at your craft; think ya knocked it outta the park with this one buddy.
That kids without noses joke was a banger and so was this entire video. Thanks Ryan.
I'd be amazed if it takes 10 years tbh
20 years ago this would been hilarious satire, now it's just the way it is.
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Blackrock reference is a 8D chess shoutout to the boyz how based Ryan really is… we hear you king
That robotic "TIME TO CLEAN" put me out!! 😄😄🤣
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Wheel chair accessable bath houses sound like my kind of bath house!
Wouldn't everyone get electrocuted when he gets his electrically powered wheelchair in the water?
As always, the scariest thing is that this could be perfectly real in a few years or even months.
I actually want a pack of M&Ms with Bone Thugs N Harmony as the mascots.
I've got my tickets to see Ryan on his comedy tour. So excited!
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Great comedy...I can see why he and JP are mates. The best comedy is when it so near the truth its spooky and both of these are masters at it
I spit out my drink when you said “Time to clean” with a Hawking voice
10 years seems a bit generous, this will be next year
Independent fact checkers and snopes have declared this video to be 100% real.
#factchecked
Captain Crunch: So crunchy, it stays hard with every mouthful.
This is sooo inspiring and sooo brave..I'm inspired and crying..
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I tried to be ready but I've had to pause at the first cereal box TF.... You guys are great keep it going. Edit omfg legendary
I don't think it will take 10 years for stuff like that to happen.
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It is amazing how much better the people will be in the future- so woke they never actually sleep!
Holy crap this was hysterical!!
I think Ryan owns 1 shirt and tie, he digs out for his executive costume.
Really killing it dude. Excited to see you at helium Portland
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loved it. best one yet. keep them coming
The toucan bit reminds me of a short story I read in 9th grade where everyone had hearing aids that emitted tones to make them dumb but I cant find it on google. (Harrison Bergeron by Kurt Vonnegut. I doubt that's common core.)
The 2 most underrated youtubers in my opinion are you Ryan and JP Sears, you guys hit the nail on the head every time man lol
Best video in a while (and, they're all at least pretty good).
This actually made me start crying from laughing so hard. The bird one got me.
"Not a muscle to be found but the pinnacle of health"
I mean, wheres the satire.
This is the best UA-cam video of the last 5 years
Love your vids! Inclusivity is amazing!
This was the best skit yet. Couldn’t stop laughing
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The Lucky Charms leprechaun will have a restraining order against those damn kids that keep trying to steal his Lucky Charms that they violated and gets them thrown in jail, then replaced with some more diverse kids who politely ask the now out and proudly nonbinary asexual leprechaun if they/them wouldn't mind sharing some of those Lucky Charms.
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As someone with severe dyslexia I DIED LAUGHING at the dyslexia joke 😂😂😂
Look up who won the Miss Greater Derry beauty pageant and you'll see this satire actually doesn't go far enough.
We laugh, but you know Ryan has just transitioned from comedian to prophet with this one.
That's like having a Wheaties box with Casey Anthony on it. 🤣 Or FunDip with Hunter Biden on the label.!!!
*TIME TO CLEAN*
Ryan I'm f*ckin crying this is amazing.
Incredible. Only a progressive mind can anticipate our inevitable future
The scary thing will be waiting 10 years and seeing how far off this actually wasn't
I see Ryan is also having fun with the AI Image generators
Love this documentary style. You should go back to doing some more of this, Ryan!
Fruit Loops isn’t diverse.
Every single loop is lemon-flavored!🙈
Fruits loops will be rebaptized "Homosexual Loops" to avoid using such offensive slang.
"Time to clean." Steven Hawkins style lol
Seems weird now, but we've got several years to get used to it over time
Oh man, that "Black Rock" at the end was the best dig. You are doing great work.
I love these skits but I'm also horrified that there are those on the left & in power that looks at this stuff as valid & reasonable goals
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Map'n Crunch is incredible.
lol this caught me off guard. That was hilarious. Though I think it's closer to 2028 tops.
The Queer Regulars sounds like an alternative band from the mid 90s
How can I trust any of these mascots without knowing their pronouns first?
Killing it as always.
I think advertising in 10 years will be the opposite of this, probably going to shift into being ultra conservative
Leftists in 2015 - "That will never happen."
Lefists in 2022 - "The world is changing, deal with it, bigot."
Same thing with this video, they'll say "That's not gonna happen." but it will.
Love that you're wearing a Danger Cats shirt!
I don't want to be a wet-blanket, bringing serious politics into a comedy video, but I seriously wonder how much further society can slide into nihilism before we start pushing things in the other direction? I mean, this is seriously satire I wouldn't be surprised being reviewed in the history books 100 years later, after society has recovered from its collective insanity.
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pushing back? this clown car has no brakes. there's nothing to do but laugh.
Tanya the Tiger is stunning and brave
Nothing can stop the church of woke, I hope their ESG scores are ruined if they don't turn the cereal characters trans
“Crunchataize me, Cap’n” has a whole new, disturbing meaning behind it, lol.
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It's "minor attracted person"!
This has got to be Ryan's best video. It's to hilariously real. Great job Ryan!
First
Bro what the fuck. I gotta bring these ideas to my boss ASAP. We're about to crush our sales this quarter!!!
http:sheathunderwear.com/ryanlong promocode ryan - DO IT!
TOUR DATES: Jacksonville, Miami NEXT WEEKEND! Then San Jose, Tacoma, Los Angeles, Cleveland, Chigaco, Cincinnati, Columbus, Charlotte, Greensboro, Raleigh, Austin, Detroit, Portland, Phoenix, Plano, Toronto, Baltimore, Buffalo ryanlongcomedy.com
I understand why you didn't want to say Nose Privilege.
Nice Bone Thugs toss in! East 1999
I’m gonna try for the Cleveland show, since I live in Ohio. But having my second kid in two days so idk.
come to lafayette LA after austin or plano. so what if the Acadians were exiled from the great north in 1755. Enough time has passed, we forgive you, don't be so weird aboot it.
0:26 Comedy GENIUS lol