Pointy Shoes | David Mitchell's Soapbox
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- Опубліковано 20 чер 2012
- David Mitchell points the finger at pointy shoes, providing plenty of points about their pointlessness.
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David Mitchell, star of UK TV favourites Peep Show and That Mitchell and Webb Look, brings us his unique perspective on the issues facing men of the world today. - Комедії
"What happened to the Australian girl that used to run this shoe store?"
She's gone, sir. They've all gone. They've all been driven out. And we're back.
"Who?"
The incredibly intimidating and aristocratic people who still unaccountably sell pointy shoes.
I think I saw her in Dartmouth
David's foot is a hand
lol, but to be fair, I didn't get the impression from the skit that the Australian girl was an intimidating, posh or aristocratic type.
"hey don't speak to my wife in that way."
@@kaiman99919 You know what they say about down in Darty.
There's an obvious aerodynamic advantage to pointy shoes, makes you go faster while maintaining traction around corners
Hate Seeing Feet With Squashed Toes.Looks Abnormal.
Not so cool when you're sprawled face down on the floor after over confidently bounding up the steps of the theatre foyer where you're meeting your new paramour's friends for the first time.
For example.
I never wanted to see bloody "Cats" anyway.
You need all the downforce you can get in this day and age
@@zacmumblethunder7466 I was coming here to say "alan partridge could elaborate nicely on this".. you didnt disappoint
@@w8m4n Thank you.
A joke from my youth: Pointy shoes are for squishing cockroaches in the corners.
Well they do also call them winklepickers
"... Those nightclubs where the clientele don't wear jeans but carry knives"
and what's more impressive, also listened. as it happens at that particular point in the video I was doing neither, which made this comment of at least some minor value. cheers.
"Tessellating in crowded lifts?" That is why I love David Mitchell.
"Tessellating in crowded lifts"
Oooerrr, missus!!!!
On the other hand, a rounded shoe *feels* foot shaped, which is probably more useful.
Not on your hand its not *badumtss*
How is more useful that a shoe *feels* foot-shaped?
I was walking to Uni the other day, begrudgingly wearing my nice new jeans with fake pockets. Without thinking, I slid my keys into my back pocket like I always do (unless you're a pickpocket stalker, in which case I never do that. But I digress). I then realised that the back pockets were fake, and panicked that I'd dropped my keys on the floor. But no; there were HIDDEN pockets BENEATH the fake pockets. A flap that led nowhere, but an open pocket behind. Madness, but better than nothing...
It's like all jeans (and most slacks as well) being skinny (at least in Korea and the rest of Asia over the past 2+ years). There are very few people that look actually flatters.
I prefer some baggy ass flares.
I concede that they're not flattering, but they're nice and supportive for my half-century old knees... Feast your eyes!!!!!!
This has also happened with women's waists. Where the waist is considered to be, has moved. Now 'normal rise' jeans measure your waist fractionally above your hips in an attempt to expose more midriff, and actually waist high jeans are considered 'superhigh'. I prefer jeans from the 90's (or what we're now calling 'mom jeans'). I know where my waist is damn it, and it isn't skimming my pelvic bones.
this comment has aged like fine wine.
Funny, it seems to me like waistlines have only gone up since the end of the 90s. So much so that a lot of jeans are back to the 80s waist; or the Sexy Urkel, as I'm going to start calling it.
Now high rise/mom jeans are back in 👍
I find a whole lot of jeans are getting higher and higher. What does seem to be happening though is that the shirst are running away, exposing ever more for the jeans to cover! Lol.
@@kitube14 Low cut jeans are an abomination. I do not want to see someone's underpants, nor someone's arsecrack that looks like you could plant potatoes there.
I noticed the pointy shoe thing! It is the same with jeans and button flies. I had a stressful experience when I last went jeans shopping as I had to go to about 5 different shops before I found jeans with zip flies. Zips are simply easier and better how can having buttons on flies be fashionable WHEN THE FLY IS COVERED UP.
"A pointy shoe always seems in search of an estate agent."
Thankfully, we don't have to deal with this States-side. But what we are being forced to buy athletic shoe wise are overly brightly colored, very thin, excessively breathable things. We're not all running marathons, thanks. Some of us want something more modest in design and appearance, that doesn't cause us to daintily avoid puddles, sprinklers, and gentle rainfall, for fear of soaked socks.
ancilodon... this.
A full year later and still so bloody relevant. I want my tennis shoes to be mostly white, mostly leather/pleather/vinyl/etc just as God intended them to be. Away with the neon green mesh abominations!
They're either flimsy, excessively breathable things that are entirely useless in winter or they have 2" thick soles and the maker's name in fluorescent garish 3" high lettering on the sides. Trainers don't look like trainers any more, they invariably look like something that dropped out of the mother ship. Bring back old skool hooves I say! Adidas have brought back some 80's designs in recent years but even they aren't the same, not made as well as the originals. I speak from bitter experience...
Paul Bennell I just wear my work boots everywhere
Trainers/athletic shoes are one of the biggest rip-offs of the modern world. Not quite up there with perfume/scent but not far behind.
Last time I went to by a pair of sneakers (trainers) I discovered that most of them had orange somewhere in the design. Either orange stripes or orange laces or orange grommets. Even the ones I finally got, which were different shades of dark brown, had little orange triangles on them, and orange striped laces. I hate orange.
I curl the toes of my pointy shoes over and sew them to the rest of my shoe to make me look like an oddly tall business elf...
“And out of horsehair, you say?” That made me laugh. A lot.
The powdered wig bit reminded me, Cracked does a sketch about the last guy in America to have been peer pressured to shave his Charlie Chaplin mustache. Presumably in the early 40's.
It annoys me so much because I am over 6 foot, and therefore have big feet, and in order to find shoes that fit me I have to go for rediculous sizes like 17 because the size 13s are getting so thin it's like they imagine that people have sticks for feet.
As someone who has fat feet (the kids scales always used to measure me as UK H+ width, which was basically short for "off the scale") I am wearing shoes about two sizes larger than I need and it causes me to stumble on stairs and get my feet stuck.
Feel for me, I'm a woman who has to wear men's sneakers. And size 11 men's sneakers at that. Which are designed for man feet not my skinny narrow long (arguably) lady foot
Have you guys tried Clarke’s wide fitting? I think the trend is slowing dissipating and have seen some round toed shoes at Fat Face and Ecco. I take size 4 but every ladies show is so narrow in design that my ‘rounded toes’ ache. Another brand for us normal people is Hush Puppies and Red or Dead. You do not need to go a size (or 6) up.
New Balance reliably has shoes in EEEE (4 wides). You should try them if you get a chance.
What about skinny jeans? Getting so hard to find ones that aren't skinny I can only assume no one will be wearing them soon
***** I know, and it's not just jeans. I was trying to find a straight pair of suit-type trousers for two funerals the other month, and they were *all* skinny fit. And I was looking around the shops and suddenly noticed that *everything* was skinny fit...jeans, trousers, jogging bottoms, pajama bottoms. It's madness.
Wait? Men are having this problem too? Damn it...i was going to switch to men's pants. All women's jeans seem to be painted on at this point, terribly uncomfortable. I was hoping I'd be safe in the men's section cause men need extra room in places...
+Don Robertson At the risk of labelling myself an internet Luddite, THIS. .
Remember the rapper jeans fashion of the 2000's? When jeans were extremely wide and were designed specifically to hang so low that it exposes your buttocks? Ah, those were the days. :)
Remember trip pants? Those were the days :p
The shoe designers must have been related to the people who decided that women's jeans should no longer sit in the hips that nature provided for the purpose, but must instead be clamped on lower down, to be mainly held up by the blot clots they probably caused.
Or that women's shorts can not be worn in polite society (by which I mean at all), unless they cause a serious case of camel-toe.
good.
One of his best ever. Had me in stitches.
Dear gods, and still it continues. I have to buy shoes online now just to avoid looking like a psychopath-designed golf club.
My shoes are already huge due to being size 51 (US 14 ish), I really can’t add a point to that as well.
Club foot is already a thing. My childhood hamster had it, and he didn't even wear shoes.
I thought people started wearing powdered wigs because of head lice and other scalp diseases? Or at least, the person who popularized that fashion. But it did have a somewhat practical origin (as far as I know)
Edit #1: According to the internet, it was due to a syphilis epidemic in the 1500s which caused partial hair loss
Edit #2: And I fully agree about the pointy shoes. I bought a pair a while ago and kept tripping over things and knocking into low surfaces because of the extra 2" at the end of my foot. utterly impractical
I don't think the internet is right on this. Better check again.
It's so lovely to have your rants back (: I can relate so well to them
This is just the sharp social commentary i subscribed for
The wigs started out with King Louis XIV's long flowing dark curls and that becoming an ideal. Later when people started truly adopting this fashion, the only practical solution was to have a wig instead of trying to meticulously take care of a full head of hair and curl it and put it in a fashionable method once or twice a week. Then as Louis XIV came to be grey the wig phenomenon was a requirement as formal wear and the powder was introduced. The fact that it continued was to identify class.
and how come nothing but bloody jeans are being sold nowadays? Only thing I can find is either some jogging pants or jeans... there must be something else
Kingstad corduroy feels effing amazing. It's a shame they're hard to come by nowadays.
I'll stick with my jodphurs...
@@GeonQuuin corduroy is back in fashion
Shops still sell proper trousers, you know.
that would be the most beautifully articulated rant ever!
1:55 all the trees turn into powdered wigs. Nicely done!
Yet again David Mitchell speaks my mind for me!
Can we get more of these please?!
Oh, how my day lights up when I get to watch David Mitchell rant on about a seemingly unimportant topic.
"Oh really? Fine, give me a sack of it."
Great stuff as always!
"Tessellating in crowded lifts?!" Ha!
At least i've got this to hold me over till Peep Show returns.
One of the main reasons I love combat boots. No pointy Elvishness there
Aphoticon no just undertones of white supremacy groups and school shooters
0:25 - "... a new pair which aren't pointy..."
WRONG TENSE MR MITCHELL.
tessalating in crowded lifts!!
Oh, Mitchell, I love you!
This is a man I'd love to know, but I'd never want to talk to. He clearly has a rich personality and a well thought out view on a wide range of subjects, but if I were ever to join him in a conversation in a bar or on a casual stroll, it'd become apparent almost immediately he has exponentially more to add to the conversation than I ever would, and not only would he quickly become bored of my presence and leave, but I'd go home feeling enlightened but also incredibly dim.
Small spectacles (glasses) is another one that's been foisted on us - some years back all the specs available in opticians got smaller and stayed that way and I'm certain that wearers didn't all get together and campaign for smaller ones.
The trees turning to powdered wigs... nice touch xD
I hear what you're saying on the wig front. In terms of pointy shoes, I don't think he's saying they're new in themselves, but that non-pointy shoes' becoming unavailable is new and ridiculous to him. I'm fairly anti-points myself...find it much harder to get up a flight of stairs :)
"Tessalating in crowded lifts" brilliant
Fake pockets are, undeniably, the single most frustrating and inexcusable design feature in the history of frustrating things which are inexcusable.
Strange thing is, a lot of guysI have talked to don't like pointy shoes but buy them anyway. Same thing with skinny jeans/pants.
I couldn't get myself to like them.
When shopping for shoes, ask for Oxfords.
When shopping for jeans, ask for boot cut.
Ask for straight leg if you want normal pants.
Its a pity, I go barefoot on principle since I absolutely refuse to buy pointy shoes.
I LOVE YOU DAVID MITCHELL
I lost it at "Tesselating in crowded lifts".
Classic.
"Tesselate". Thanks. I now have a new word. And a good chuckle as well!
Tessellate! What a lovely word. Lovely David and his lovely words. Mmmm.
It is fucked. I needed dress shoes and they all looked like part of an elf-stripper wardrobe. The toes curled up a bit too... I'm in Mexico City at the moment so I thought it was a local thing (I found a non pointy pair but most were bizarre)
i hate clothes and people who wear them
Yeah, those sound like Mexican pointy boots. David's just talking about standard pointy dress shoes taking over the shoe store... But I do think I could die happy if I ever saw David Mitchell walking around in crazy Mexican pointy boots, and complaining about it as he shuffles awkwardly along.
if you're not familiar with the film, there's a clip on UA-cam of the scene under the title " You Think This Has Nothing To Do With You" it's pretty brilliant acting and writing.
The "tessellating in elevators" line made it for me.
My understanding was that wigs came in as part of the fashion for keeping one's hair cropped short to minimize habitat for head lice. Presumably, if this is true, then they faded out in response to the rising popularity of washing, particularly of the hair.
I suppose I could have checked to see if there is any basis for this before posting it here, but I haven't, so please don't just go believing it just because you saw someone say it somewhere, like I did.
They were also a means of covering hair loss from Syphilis, which was sweeping through Europe at the time.
Oh, David... You're so right. You always are. :) xxx
I am now looking solemnly at my pointy shoes... I'm so sorry, David.
DMs of course
It is true.
"Are" is the plural tense of the verb "to be". The word "pair" is singular, hence it takes the relevant singular tense of "to be".
It's like "group" or "team" - many people use the plural tense of the verb "to be" with the singular form of these nouns, which although common is completely false.
For "one hundred ducks" the verb attaches to "ducks" (plural). For "a pair of shoes" it attaches to "pair", which we have established is singular.
I have to say , i hadn't noticed - bliss!
I knew what I was talking about and I just used the wrong word ("tense").
My last sentence DOES make sense because it is simply fact that you say "One hundred ducks are flying" and "One pair [of shoes] is expensive". It's ONE pair and the verb needs to agree with "pair" even though it means "two things".
Yes, pair is EQUIVALENT to two but they are different words - two means the number 2 and pair is a collective noun. Group, team, selection all imply more than one but the words are singular.
I feel so exclusive
I know it would be a radical departure for you, or at least your public persona, but you ought to do series 5 of the soapbox on things you really really like and adore. Things that just make you smile despite yourself.
Imagine how this went with codpieces.
im glad to hear tht
Come back to us, David.
What sort of people is "don't wear jeans but carry knives" supposed to convey? I'm having trouble picturing them.
I must have missed that one! I'll see if I can find it.
I have size 11 feet, so I feel like a clown in overly-pointy dress shoes. I usually stick to trainers and boots in everyday wear, and only slip on the pointies whenever they're needed.
When ballerina shoes and converses were everywhere. And I followed the trend (wanted to look cool at nursing school) and developed plantar fasciitis. It’s been over 9 years now and have to wear heals everyday even on the wards to prevent it flaring up again!
I'm glad someone said it..
It reminds me of women's skinny, low rise jeans last season. "You can wear them, I guess, but I'm a bit chubby so I'd rather... oh, that's the only kind of jean you have?"
I think they have returned to normal now. Thanks David I think they listened.
Tessellating - great word
I think it's a good word as well- the only thing I don't like about it is that I don't know what it means.
Thanks, Mitchell- I feel obliged to look a word up because YOU'VE made me feel stupid...to the dictionary!
but then that's really your fault as you get taught about tessellation when you're like 7
Torc Handsomeson
To be fair, not everyone went to school in a country that teaches your particular country's curriculum.
I looked it up and still have no clue as to what he meant. What does a mosaic have to do with a crowded elevator?
when the shoes interlock with each other
So true. It's so hard to find non-pointy shoes...
As I understand, the powdered wig fad started with Louis XIV going prematurely bald and all his court sycophants thought it would be a good idea to turn the wig into a fashion statement.
I noticed the shoe thing, as well. The only reason for it I can think of is so that you can use them as a weapon should you find yourself attacked or just a little annoyed in the lift.
i've been having a bad day.... you have turned that around for me x
"Stabbing pigeons in the street"
Oh no we’re barrelling towards the shoe event horizon...
I love david mitchell
1:35 superhands might disagree with that
Oh, too true. To be able to speak on his level in his presense would be quite an accomplishment. Though if given the opprotunity to prove myself, I think I'd still go run away and hide under a bush or something rather than risk embarrassing myself in front of him. Even then, he'd probably notice and make his next soapbox about "That one guy I noticed stupidly hiding under a bush that one time". Assuming the event was even worth mentioning at all, that is.
Tessellating in crowded lifts, that's the funniest thing I have ever heard.
Hehe, this nicely summarised the complete emptiness that I feel consuming my very being.
said pockets are usually just sown up to look nice but even if they're not, slice the feckersopen and use the pockets you're paying for.
"Two" is an adjective. "Pair" is a noun. Although the meaning may be the same, they are grammatically different. With a collective noun, either singular or plural can be correct depending on the exact meaning within a sentence. Also, nationality plays a huge part in what sounds right, too. As an American, the singular form sounds more natural to me even in cases where plural makes more sense. British speakers tend to use plural even when singular would make more sense.
Tessellating in crowded lifts LOL!!!
All this time I was waiting for him to take off in that sick fucking whip
Best part of this is the shirt he is wearing.
It's in everything now I swear
I haven't bought shoes in about 2 years so hadn't noticed, I'll have to keep an eye out for this when I buy new ones after the current ones finally die.
Weren't the wigs to cover hair loss from syphilis
You make a both fair and agreeable point DAVE!!
*gasp* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
If a collective noun represents the group as a single unit, then the verb used with it should be singular (which is a number, not a tense). On the other hand, if the collective noun is used for each of the group's members, the verb should be plural. In this case, the pair as a whole isn't really any shape, but both of the shoes individually are (or are not) pointy. Being British, David is also more likely to use a plural verb with a collective noun than an American speaker would be.
Actually, a psychology research paper was published about this just recently. Search 'What your choice of shoe says about you' and open the BPS research digest blog if you are interested :)
This! Yes! Drives me mad.
I think the worst part about pointy shoes is that they may actually be bad for your feet in that they cause feet to deform and squish together.
David Mitchell is obviously a very intelligent and sensible guy. One would assume he is intelligent enough to figure out that men's clothing is adapting to suit the needs of today's fashion conscious men. Woman don't wear high heels because they're comfortable (or in any way practical), they wear them because they like the way there legs look while wearing them. To Zaxomio : If you have ever seen David Mitchell on the Show QI, then you would realize he is incredibly sharp-witted.
He did do a video about it.
My favorite powdered-wig fact. George Washington didn't wear a powdered wig. He had naturally red hair, which was rather thick. He used to just powder the hell out of his own hair to get that look.
Like in the Armstrong and Miller 'South Harbour Club Patrol' sketch.