"Chivalry is not the opposite of feminism." Brilliant! Also, many people think feminist is a synonym for man-hater. I was at a dinner party where a woman half my age (I'm 60) pointed out that she wasn't a feminist, and the other guests agreed with the conclusion that feminism is extreme and putting men down and so on. We had a little discussion. I pointed out to her that the things she takes for granted - like speaking her mind, having an education, a bank account, and being able to vote - would not have been possible without the suffragettes and the feminist movement and that feminism is about equality, not about hating men.
Unfortunately, that just shows that a lot of people on social media (maybe you could call them 'extremeists') and in the younger demo have turned it into this extreme man'-hating trope. 1st wave feminism was exactly what you said but 2nd and 3rd wave have swung too far the other way in some ways. I loved hearing Jess and Caroline (woke millennials) say that feminine/ masculine energy and chivalry can co-exist with feminism. As thats exactly how i feel but it felt like such an unpopular Opinion! Preach girls!
A simple "Thank you" for compliments. 💯 So confident, so classy. Also, shows respect for the compliment giver. My favorite scene from the Barbie movie was when they were awarding Nobel Prizes, and one of the winners said something like "I worked really hard so I deserve it." Saying that out loud (or even thinking such a thing as a woman), is still considered so taboo so I love saying it out loud to women and men both as a compliment to them and as a response when I get complimented on something that required a lot of work.
So I grew up in a huge Irish Catholic family, as did most of the people in my town. It always blows my mind when I hear people use the phrase “Irish Goodbye,” because it only came on my radar as an adult. Where I grew up, people call it a “French Exit,” which (I know I’m biased but) feels so much more of an appropriate label to me. If you come from an Irish family, you know that we actually spend 3 hours saying goodbye to everyone. If you don’t, you’d get a text from an auntie: Who do you think you are not hugging your auntie goodbye? Then your cousins would give you shit about how high and mighty you think you are, so you have to start saying goodbye like an hour before you think you want to leave a gathering. Even after you exit the house, apt, etc, you will end up having a conversation in the driveway or on the sidewalk. Then the ride home is inevitably ridden with some guilt about a person you forgot to stay goodbye to. 😉 ☘️
@Rin-sr2ml I'm French and I second that: it's a French exit. It's embedded in my culture, and I own it, and even my family thinks I'm rude, but in my book I'm just practical and pragmatic 😇
Omg, in Germany it's called a Polish Exit 😱 Does anybody know why different languages attach this practice of leaving a party without telling to a random nationality?
@@mll1208also known as filer à l’anglaise! As a Brit living in France, i own it completely… it’s my favourite way leave especially if I’ve already had to endure the bises and awkward handshakes on arrival 😊
OMG THANK YOU for talking about accepting compliments. I have been working on that a lot the past couple years and have finally gotten to a comfortable place saying “thank you” and carrying on with my day. It still takes effort to say it, so I get caught up in the moment and often feel guilty for not giving them a compliment in return (or when I do, it comes out awkward/unnaturally). It’s so nice to hear aloud that you DON’T have an obligation to compliment someone back, and it’s not rude to purely accept the compliment and end with your appreciation for the gesture.
I’m a woman and I hate being treated as a precious thing to be protected because when things don’t go to plan and we do disagree, the fact that I’m so precious is then used to devalue my judgement (which as you say men care so much about and think their strong suit to be). I also don’t know anyone who wants to be treated as such (amongst younger people) but I’m not from the US so that’s probably just a cultural difference. And I also see opening the door as one of those meaningless gestures that you’ve talked about before. Although, I love opening the door for men, as it gives me that sweet feeling of power
Oh this broke my heart a little to read! It is very, very possible to treat either partner as something to be protected and NEVER devalue their judgment. In fact I would say there is not a single excuse on earth I can think of that justifies devaluing your partner’s judgement - man or woman. I’m sorry partners have done that to you. If one doesn’t respect the judgement of the person you’re with, I think you are doing that person a disservice by being with them. To stay with someone and continually devalue their judgement is manipulative and approaches abusive behavior. Treating someone as someone worth protecting, appreciating, and looking out for (this goes in both directions) has absolutely nothing to do with devaluing their judgement. If someone is linking those two things, run away.
I am from Europe and agree to some extent. I don't like the étiquette as far as it is related to a certain gender and (probably sexual) interest, e.g., a man holding the door only for (good-looking) women. I experience chivalry when being dressed up (esp. when wearing a dress/skirt and your hair open); but when you're wearing casual clothes, no one notices your heavy luggage, which is almost as big as you, and offers a hand. 🤔 I appreciate people that are concerned about their loved ones but are also thoughtful to other people (even strangers), without any further intentions and with no relation to gender roles. Just be kind and respectful from the bottom of your heart, not because it looks good. Moreover, this chivalry behaviour makes me insecure and drives me insane, because I don't wanna have to care on which side to walk and if to enter/leave a restaurant first or last; I don't wanna wait for the door to be opened, before I am allowed to pass... I want to talk to the waiter, ask for a table, and order and pay by myself-without any discussion or mixed feelings. AND I am just better in getting into my jacket on my own... 😅 This "special" treatment just makes me feel like a child, not an adult woman 🤯. However, this does not mean that I do not love and appreciate to be treated as someone precious by my partner as I love to treat him well and protect him. To me, this has nothing to do with chivalry. It is mutual respect and thoughtfulness. Love your podcast BTW 😉.
Some opinions that I'm just throwing into the wind: 1.) Idk I think instead of just making the man hold the baby you can just ask? I understand the point of subverting gender expectations, but at least ask before dropping a baby in someone's hands lol 2.) Holding doors open for people is just nice, I hold doors open for people regardless of their age, gender, ability etc 3.) There's nothing wrong inherently with the man being protective/chivalrous and doing the repair jobs and the woman doing the cooking/cleaning/homemaking etc. As long as nobody's being forced to do those things or being treated as lesser-than. 4.) If just taking the compliment makes you feel brag-y or something, then return the compliment in some way. Exchange compliments instead of downplaying compliments.
I have a PhD in deflecting compliments. For the past couple of years I spent lots of time with younger classmates (18-20 years difference), and it caught me off guard when they simply said "thank you" to compliments. First I thought they were joking (not sure how to word it) but as if they were making fun of themselves - they said "thank you" knowing the compliment was a lie. But it wasn't! It was my own projection, I assume, thinking that - because that's what I always think when people compliment me!! I wondered if it was our age gap or upbringing (I'm not from the US), but they taught me a lot. It is so awkward at first to say "thank you" but I feel so accomplished when I do 😃
Lol before reading this comment I heard that part of the video and just thought to myself “oh I have an MBA on deflecting compliments” I saw this and I cracked up 😂
taking compliments was so difficult for me. Once a mentor gave me a compliment and I told him honestly "I feel like I don't know how to react." and he said "just say thank you. nothing else" and since then, this is what I've done "thank you" - and say it simply, don't try to be cutsie. Just thank them. You deserve it, you don't have to over/underplay it in any way. With my husband I do it as a joke and I'll say "yeah, i know" or i'll say "yes and I'm also so beautiful and funny and attractice and humble and decent..." but that actually helped me to accept compliments and I also give them a lot more now!
Feminism as it has been developed over the years is about all people being allowed the agency to use their strengths and be honored for them. I would argue that chivalry can not only coexist with feminism, it can be expanded by it to include all people, not just “how men can take care of women”. I feel like it’s very common for younger men to think they don’t need to be cared for by women, but many of them are unaware how much they’ll need women’s protection later in life. Honestly, when I hear the door-opening argument from anti feminist people, it’s become synonymous to me with not being willing to look further into what it actually is by just boiling it down to the simplest things. You’re so right, divisions of labor have a lot to do with it. I did part of my college work in women’s studies, and honestly, I almost had a nervous breakdown over it. Facing these realities is hard, but not facing them is harder. Thank you for speaking your truths 💪🏼 Also, unpopular opinion: Irish goodbye=not being able to set boundaries😬. Just stand at one end of the room and say loudly “we gotta go y’all, see ya!” Then make your move and don’t look back. 😁
The bombas and the cleaning montage you did to Sean Paul are hilarious and yeah it's exactly what makes you unique on here. Good you stood up for yourself.
OMG the multiple location goodbyes and long conversations at the door I can't. I usually just stay far and wave and try to get out of all goodbyes with 0 touching except if it's someone I don't see a lot and actually like. Also covid helped with normalizing not doing the 3 kiss hello/goodbye thing so it's easier to get out of it without getting weird looks from the family lmao.
How is it that I woke up thinking about feminist men today and then opened this podcast. Not the first time this happens. You guys always seem to give me what I need on any given week.
I also didn't have orgasms for the longest time, for me it was more annoying how people reacted to it because they always felt sorry for me while I was completely fine with it. Like you said, I don't need an orgasm to enjoy sex.
Everyones different thats feminism to me - its not ‘how to treat women’ its ‘hello - im a person and this is what i think and need. Period’ the opposite of feminism is treating women like all the same and as property. Hence, why non women think its reasonable to have a say about the choices women make. ‘Well, I own that population so I get to say what her body does.’
Caroline, you're so beautiful, so funny, so talented and so insightful. And yes: you're not for everyone. You don't need to give someone the time of day who can't appreciate it. they need to work on themselves and probably don't love themselves enough
You're both so funny and cute and I appreciate you! Thank you for putting a camera in your faces and putting yourselves out there! : ) I spent my 20's minimizing myself because there were people that didn't like parts of me that the people I loved liked. Something clicked in my 30's, and I've been trying to build myself back up, and care less about the "haters". I really appreciate hearing you put words to things I've had troubles putting words to myself. < 3
Omg my MIL will wait until I’m putting my two toddlers in the car to ask me if I want food, if I have to try on a dress she got me a month ago, if I want to pack a shoe rack she picked up for us on marketplace, like the most random but sweet shit, and I’m like bro we have been here all weekend and you’re JUST NOW remembering all of this?! NO! THANK YOU, YOU ARE SO THOUGHFUL, BUT I AM LEAVING.
I like it when my husband treats me special by opening the door for me or whatever. But I feel like so many guys who do that like need some acknowledgment. They like need you to smile or say thank you. Some are doing it to interact with women and trying to get something in return. 99% of the time when a man (who is not my husband) opens a door for me, it creeps me out.
100% in the beginning of our relationship I told my husband that I like it when a man does smt chivalrous, like opening the door or holding open my jacket. And he always does that for me, just to make me happy. It's that simple. And I do things just to make him happy as well. And I also hold the door open to anyone walking behind me - because I was not raised by wolves.
I’m working on the compliment thing but I have a weird caveat question: what about compliments from your boss on your work? For example, my new female boss (I’m a female) stopped me in the hallway the other day to tell me what a great job I’m doing and slammed me with multiple compliments in a row 😅 I tried to do the thank you thing but it felt so awkward idk why. I eventually said “one thing I’m not great at is taking compliments lol but thank you so much!” I felt kinda dumb afterwards. Anyone have advice on that scenario?? Loved the episode ❤
Colleen are you on medication that causes the dreams and make them feel so real. Another UA-cam Caroline from The Not For Everyone Podcast was just talking about how her brother had these kind of dreams and then she started this medicine Zoloft later and had the same reaction. The episode is titled “How To Main Emotional Boundaries….Especially With Loved Ones” hopefully this helps ❤
What if your friend or family member died that night or before you got to meet up again. Big deal if someone wants to say goodbye or they love you or whatever. I think it's rude to leave and not say anything. This society is so distant and disconnected, sad.
Being trained into pleasing by subpar men is the worst. Yeah, you still do the performance thing if you are finally with a good guy. You don't want to risk finding out that the good guy sucks, so you keep up the sex performance to save yourself his potential unpleasantness.
And have you seen some of these "straight" "cis" men who act like princessy, spoiled little girls? Like they act weirdly effeminate and vain in a very misogynistic way. By the way they act, you think they might be a highly closeted gay person, a trans person who hasn't woken up to that yet, or they hate women.... but they swear up and down that they're straight and cis. I've dated two of these. What are they called? It's so common now that it has to have a name. Disclaimer that's somehow necessary, but people will intentionally misunderstand me anyway... Femboys are not what im talking about. Even though they're not my preferred dating orientation. Drag is not what I'm talking about. These "guys" have an all masc clothes wardrobe.
Oh I think I perfectly get what you mean, i also don’t know if there’s a name for that cuz they are not metrosexual or anything. I dated one before as well, he wanted me to treat him like the precious thing and at the same time had all the entitlement of a regular almost macho guy 😓
Love you gals, but hard disagree. Chivalry comes from the idea that women are weaker and therefore, in the outside world "where they don't belong and danger lies" they must be accompanied and assisted at all times "for their own safety". It also gave men the impression they were absolutely essential to women's survival, which, they are not. I'm not for reversing roles. Things need to change, not go back to what they were just the other way round! Chivalry is extreme and twisted politeness. It makes relationships unclear, disingenuous and contrived. But! respect for others is essential, so it's a whole balance thing! :)
The idea that women are the same as men is faulty; we have different roles to play in the game of life. When did people conflate 'equality' with 'different'? The golden rule, which is do unto others what you'd have others do to you seems to be relegated to irrelevancy. Also, Caroline, I love your ads, and you're cute and funny. Keep 'em coming. It takes guts to be creative out there in the forum of UA-cam. Guts!! I doubt any company would want to sponsor your channel if you weren't representing them in a clever, refreshing way that was also effective. Let's remember that anyone who casts shade has their own journey to negotiate in life, jealousy being one of them.
"Chivalry is not the opposite of feminism." Brilliant! Also, many people think feminist is a synonym for man-hater. I was at a dinner party where a woman half my age (I'm 60) pointed out that she wasn't a feminist, and the other guests agreed with the conclusion that feminism is extreme and putting men down and so on. We had a little discussion. I pointed out to her that the things she takes for granted - like speaking her mind, having an education, a bank account, and being able to vote - would not have been possible without the suffragettes and the feminist movement and that feminism is about equality, not about hating men.
Unfortunately, that just shows that a lot of people on social media (maybe you could call them 'extremeists') and in the younger demo have turned it into this extreme man'-hating trope. 1st wave feminism was exactly what you said but 2nd and 3rd wave have swung too far the other way in some ways. I loved hearing Jess and Caroline (woke millennials) say that feminine/ masculine energy and chivalry can co-exist with feminism. As thats exactly how i feel but it felt like such an unpopular Opinion! Preach girls!
A simple "Thank you" for compliments. 💯 So confident, so classy. Also, shows respect for the compliment giver. My favorite scene from the Barbie movie was when they were awarding Nobel Prizes, and one of the winners said something like "I worked really hard so I deserve it." Saying that out loud (or even thinking such a thing as a woman), is still considered so taboo so I love saying it out loud to women and men both as a compliment to them and as a response when I get complimented on something that required a lot of work.
So I grew up in a huge Irish Catholic family, as did most of the people in my town. It always blows my mind when I hear people use the phrase “Irish Goodbye,” because it only came on my radar as an adult. Where I grew up, people call it a “French Exit,” which (I know I’m biased but) feels so much more of an appropriate label to me. If you come from an Irish family, you know that we actually spend 3 hours saying goodbye to everyone. If you don’t, you’d get a text from an auntie: Who do you think you are not hugging your auntie goodbye? Then your cousins would give you shit about how high and mighty you think you are, so you have to start saying goodbye like an hour before you think you want to leave a gathering. Even after you exit the house, apt, etc, you will end up having a conversation in the driveway or on the sidewalk. Then the ride home is inevitably ridden with some guilt about a person you forgot to stay goodbye to. 😉 ☘️
It's funny, in Polish we call it an English exit 😅
@Rin-sr2ml I'm French and I second that: it's a French exit. It's embedded in my culture, and I own it, and even my family thinks I'm rude, but in my book I'm just practical and pragmatic 😇
Omg, in Germany it's called a Polish Exit 😱 Does anybody know why different languages attach this practice of leaving a party without telling to a random nationality?
@@mll1208also known as filer à l’anglaise! As a Brit living in France, i own it completely… it’s my favourite way leave especially if I’ve already had to endure the bises and awkward handshakes on arrival 😊
I came here just to comment this too! I thought they were going to say they love saying 'bye bye bye' X 100 when hanging up the phone
OMG THANK YOU for talking about accepting compliments. I have been working on that a lot the past couple years and have finally gotten to a comfortable place saying “thank you” and carrying on with my day. It still takes effort to say it, so I get caught up in the moment and often feel guilty for not giving them a compliment in return (or when I do, it comes out awkward/unnaturally). It’s so nice to hear aloud that you DON’T have an obligation to compliment someone back, and it’s not rude to purely accept the compliment and end with your appreciation for the gesture.
I’m a woman and I hate being treated as a precious thing to be protected because when things don’t go to plan and we do disagree, the fact that I’m so precious is then used to devalue my judgement (which as you say men care so much about and think their strong suit to be). I also don’t know anyone who wants to be treated as such (amongst younger people) but I’m not from the US so that’s probably just a cultural difference.
And I also see opening the door as one of those meaningless gestures that you’ve talked about before. Although, I love opening the door for men, as it gives me that sweet feeling of power
Oh this broke my heart a little to read! It is very, very possible to treat either partner as something to be protected and NEVER devalue their judgment. In fact I would say there is not a single excuse on earth I can think of that justifies devaluing your partner’s judgement - man or woman. I’m sorry partners have done that to you. If one doesn’t respect the judgement of the person you’re with, I think you are doing that person a disservice by being with them. To stay with someone and continually devalue their judgement is manipulative and approaches abusive behavior. Treating someone as someone worth protecting, appreciating, and looking out for (this goes in both directions) has absolutely nothing to do with devaluing their judgement. If someone is linking those two things, run away.
I am from Europe and agree to some extent. I don't like the étiquette as far as it is related to a certain gender and (probably sexual) interest, e.g., a man holding the door only for (good-looking) women. I experience chivalry when being dressed up (esp. when wearing a dress/skirt and your hair open); but when you're wearing casual clothes, no one notices your heavy luggage, which is almost as big as you, and offers a hand. 🤔
I appreciate people that are concerned about their loved ones but are also thoughtful to other people (even strangers), without any further intentions and with no relation to gender roles. Just be kind and respectful from the bottom of your heart, not because it looks good.
Moreover, this chivalry behaviour makes me insecure and drives me insane, because I don't wanna have to care on which side to walk and if to enter/leave a restaurant first or last; I don't wanna wait for the door to be opened, before I am allowed to pass... I want to talk to the waiter, ask for a table, and order and pay by myself-without any discussion or mixed feelings. AND I am just better in getting into my jacket on my own... 😅 This "special" treatment just makes me feel like a child, not an adult woman 🤯.
However, this does not mean that I do not love and appreciate to be treated as someone precious by my partner as I love to treat him well and protect him. To me, this has nothing to do with chivalry. It is mutual respect and thoughtfulness.
Love your podcast BTW 😉.
Some opinions that I'm just throwing into the wind:
1.) Idk I think instead of just making the man hold the baby you can just ask? I understand the point of subverting gender expectations, but at least ask before dropping a baby in someone's hands lol
2.) Holding doors open for people is just nice, I hold doors open for people regardless of their age, gender, ability etc
3.) There's nothing wrong inherently with the man being protective/chivalrous and doing the repair jobs and the woman doing the cooking/cleaning/homemaking etc. As long as nobody's being forced to do those things or being treated as lesser-than.
4.) If just taking the compliment makes you feel brag-y or something, then return the compliment in some way. Exchange compliments instead of downplaying compliments.
I have a PhD in deflecting compliments. For the past couple of years I spent lots of time with younger classmates (18-20 years difference), and it caught me off guard when they simply said "thank you" to compliments. First I thought they were joking (not sure how to word it) but as if they were making fun of themselves - they said "thank you" knowing the compliment was a lie. But it wasn't! It was my own projection, I assume, thinking that - because that's what I always think when people compliment me!!
I wondered if it was our age gap or upbringing (I'm not from the US), but they taught me a lot. It is so awkward at first to say "thank you" but I feel so accomplished when I do 😃
Lol before reading this comment I heard that part of the video and just thought to myself “oh I have an MBA on deflecting compliments” I saw this and I cracked up 😂
@@paululephoto heeheee, come over. I'll teach you more, my friend 😂
taking compliments was so difficult for me. Once a mentor gave me a compliment and I told him honestly "I feel like I don't know how to react." and he said "just say thank you. nothing else" and since then, this is what I've done "thank you" - and say it simply, don't try to be cutsie. Just thank them. You deserve it, you don't have to over/underplay it in any way. With my husband I do it as a joke and I'll say "yeah, i know" or i'll say "yes and I'm also so beautiful and funny and attractice and humble and decent..." but that actually helped me to accept compliments and I also give them a lot more now!
Feminism as it has been developed over the years is about all people being allowed the agency to use their strengths and be honored for them. I would argue that chivalry can not only coexist with feminism, it can be expanded by it to include all people, not just “how men can take care of women”. I feel like it’s very common for younger men to think they don’t need to be cared for by women, but many of them are unaware how much they’ll need women’s protection later in life.
Honestly, when I hear the door-opening argument from anti feminist people, it’s become synonymous to me with not being willing to look further into what it actually is by just boiling it down to the simplest things. You’re so right, divisions of labor have a lot to do with it.
I did part of my college work in women’s studies, and honestly, I almost had a nervous breakdown over it. Facing these realities is hard, but not facing them is harder. Thank you for speaking your truths 💪🏼
Also, unpopular opinion: Irish goodbye=not being able to set boundaries😬. Just stand at one end of the room and say loudly “we gotta go y’all, see ya!” Then make your move and don’t look back. 😁
Jess's "I know.. I see.. I have eyes" was perfect
The bombas and the cleaning montage you did to Sean Paul are hilarious and yeah it's exactly what makes you unique on here. Good you stood up for yourself.
“Take the fucking compliment, that was bold of them!” 😂
Love the concept of having different 'respect languages.' Rang true to me and got my wheels turning.
OMG the multiple location goodbyes and long conversations at the door I can't. I usually just stay far and wave and try to get out of all goodbyes with 0 touching except if it's someone I don't see a lot and actually like. Also covid helped with normalizing not doing the 3 kiss hello/goodbye thing so it's easier to get out of it without getting weird looks from the family lmao.
The world is a better place because of this podcast.
How is it that I woke up thinking about feminist men today and then opened this podcast. Not the first time this happens. You guys always seem to give me what I need on any given week.
I also didn't have orgasms for the longest time, for me it was more annoying how people reacted to it because they always felt sorry for me while I was completely fine with it. Like you said, I don't need an orgasm to enjoy sex.
i love how you gave each other so many compliments during the pod!
Yes 💕 protect our vulnerability and respect our empowerment
i love you're podcast! the topics you talk about are so important and i find it very helpful!!!
I'm great at acknowledging and holding space for the bad, and staying positive anyway (in a non-toxic way ❤).
I love the way Justin cherishes you. It is just beautiful to experience 🥰
Everyones different thats feminism to me - its not ‘how to treat women’ its ‘hello - im a person and this is what i think and need. Period’ the opposite of feminism is treating women like all the same and as property. Hence, why non women think its reasonable to have a say about the choices women make. ‘Well, I own that population so I get to say what her body does.’
As a french speaker, the spellin is hon hon hon 🤣🤣🤣🤣 cracked me up every single time. Thank you guys! Great episode
Caroline, you're so beautiful, so funny, so talented and so insightful. And yes: you're not for everyone. You don't need to give someone the time of day who can't appreciate it. they need to work on themselves and probably don't love themselves enough
This is the energy I needed today. The French Chef impressions & "GET IT DONE" had me rolling 😂
The picture is Lover and Hater ya ding dongs 😂
ding dongs 💯🤣
You're both so funny and cute and I appreciate you! Thank you for putting a camera in your faces and putting yourselves out there! : ) I spent my 20's minimizing myself because there were people that didn't like parts of me that the people I loved liked. Something clicked in my 30's, and I've been trying to build myself back up, and care less about the "haters". I really appreciate hearing you put words to things I've had troubles putting words to myself. < 3
I recognize that I have a great work ethic.
I love this podcast, thank y'all for what you do.
Great episode. Love!
I'm so guilty of the compliment thing. I'm a work in progress to just say, "thank you." It will make me feel so weird in the inside, to your point
Omg my MIL will wait until I’m putting my two toddlers in the car to ask me if I want food, if I have to try on a dress she got me a month ago, if I want to pack a shoe rack she picked up for us on marketplace, like the most random but sweet shit, and I’m like bro we have been here all weekend and you’re JUST NOW remembering all of this?! NO! THANK YOU, YOU ARE SO THOUGHFUL, BUT I AM LEAVING.
I like it when my husband treats me special by opening the door for me or whatever. But I feel like so many guys who do that like need some acknowledgment. They like need you to smile or say thank you. Some are doing it to interact with women and trying to get something in return. 99% of the time when a man (who is not my husband) opens a door for me, it creeps me out.
100% in the beginning of our relationship I told my husband that I like it when a man does smt chivalrous, like opening the door or holding open my jacket. And he always does that for me, just to make me happy. It's that simple. And I do things just to make him happy as well. And I also hold the door open to anyone walking behind me - because I was not raised by wolves.
Same! 🙌 It's called "common courtesy" but it's unfortunately not very common.
Yes to saying thank you to compliments 👏
I’m working on the compliment thing but I have a weird caveat question: what about compliments from your boss on your work? For example, my new female boss (I’m a female) stopped me in the hallway the other day to tell me what a great job I’m doing and slammed me with multiple compliments in a row 😅 I tried to do the thank you thing but it felt so awkward idk why. I eventually said “one thing I’m not great at is taking compliments lol but thank you so much!” I felt kinda dumb afterwards. Anyone have advice on that scenario?? Loved the episode ❤
I’m here for Jess’s eye brows.
He’s well versed in feminist theory but does he do the dishes?
Colleen are you on medication that causes the dreams and make them feel so real. Another UA-cam Caroline from The Not For Everyone Podcast was just talking about how her brother had these kind of dreams and then she started this medicine Zoloft later and had the same reaction. The episode is titled “How To Main Emotional Boundaries….Especially With Loved Ones” hopefully this helps ❤
What if your friend or family member died that night or before you got to meet up again. Big deal if someone wants to say goodbye or they love you or whatever. I think it's rude to leave and not say anything. This society is so distant and disconnected, sad.
I haven’t laughed so much watching a podcast ever 😂
Being trained into pleasing by subpar men is the worst.
Yeah, you still do the performance thing if you are finally with a good guy. You don't want to risk finding out that the good guy sucks, so you keep up the sex performance to save yourself his potential unpleasantness.
Love this episode lol this the quality content 👌🏻
fave pod
Love love love
And have you seen some of these "straight" "cis" men who act like princessy, spoiled little girls? Like they act weirdly effeminate and vain in a very misogynistic way. By the way they act, you think they might be a highly closeted gay person, a trans person who hasn't woken up to that yet, or they hate women.... but they swear up and down that they're straight and cis.
I've dated two of these. What are they called? It's so common now that it has to have a name.
Disclaimer that's somehow necessary, but people will intentionally misunderstand me anyway...
Femboys are not what im talking about. Even though they're not my preferred dating orientation.
Drag is not what I'm talking about. These "guys" have an all masc clothes wardrobe.
Metrosexuals?
@drebugsita close, but not quite, and sissy isn't really a fit either
Oh I think I perfectly get what you mean, i also don’t know if there’s a name for that cuz they are not metrosexual or anything. I dated one before as well, he wanted me to treat him like the precious thing and at the same time had all the entitlement of a regular almost macho guy 😓
@@paululephoto I think it's mummy's boys who just act out all the stereotypes of being "a real man"
Love you gals, but hard disagree. Chivalry comes from the idea that women are weaker and therefore, in the outside world "where they don't belong and danger lies" they must be accompanied and assisted at all times "for their own safety". It also gave men the impression they were absolutely essential to women's survival, which, they are not. I'm not for reversing roles. Things need to change, not go back to what they were just the other way round! Chivalry is extreme and twisted politeness. It makes relationships unclear, disingenuous and contrived. But! respect for others is essential, so it's a whole balance thing! :)
The idea that women are the same as men is faulty; we have different roles to play in the game of life. When did people conflate 'equality' with 'different'? The golden rule, which is do unto others what you'd have others do to you seems to be relegated to irrelevancy. Also, Caroline, I love your ads, and you're cute and funny. Keep 'em coming. It takes guts to be creative out there in the forum of UA-cam. Guts!! I doubt any company would want to sponsor your channel if you weren't representing them in a clever, refreshing way that was also effective. Let's remember that anyone who casts shade has their own journey to negotiate in life, jealousy being one of them.
I Irish the host or the person I came with only. Usually nobody cares 😊
Love you my babies