Zombie Tools Kraken Review
Вставка
- Опубліковано 26 вер 2024
- Today we take a look at the Zombie Tools Kraken. Is this post apocalyptic battle axe a fun zombie themed back yard cutter? Or is it an unwieldy and dangerous waste of money? We'll let you know if it justifies its $479.95 price tag.
*Disclaimer*
We're not experts in weapons, history, or anything really. We don't study HEMA or any other form of material arts that would tell us how to use the weapons we talk about. We are simply enthusiasts and consumers. We'll give you our honest opinions so that you can make informed buying decisions.
Specs
Total Length - 27 in
Head Width - 9.25 in
Edge Length - 7.75 in
Distal Taper - 5.2 mm - 5.2mm
Weight - 4lb
Where to buy
zombietools.ne...
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Key Words
Zombie Tools
Axe
Battle Axe
Zombie Apocalypse
Post apocalyptic
Arms & Armor
Bearded Axe
Viking Axe
Valhalla
I wholehearted agree with your assessment. You made a strong case for not recommending this "axe" to anyone. I have a couple of Zombie Tools blades, and while I like their aesthetics if I am to really immerse myself into the apocalyptical theme, and I understand that the majority of the audience Zombie Tools wants to reach have not handled an actual practical weapon and know what it feels to move one around, and they may like a ZT blade a lot, because even though they are not nearly as efficient and practical weapons as weapons born out of thousands of years of human conflicts in history, they can still give an advantage over improvised weapons like baseball bats, gold clubs, bricks and sticks. The Kraken is NOT one of those.
It is a water-jetted sheet of metal with two slabs of aluminum glued to it without any understand of actual axe (be it a tool-axe or fighting-axe) construction. The head of the axe needs proper thickness and taper for their intended purposes, the wooden haft or pool should be long enough to provide both reach and leverage out of different possibilities of grips. This does not have any of those, and it weighs almost twice as much as a Danish great-axe that's twice as large, but has the reach of a small hatchet, but unlike a hatchet that you can easily use with one hand, you need both hands on it, further decreasing the tiny little reach it has.
I received a Gransfors Bruk Wildlife Hatchet today, and it ways less than 1/3 of the Kraken, while having the same reach. Hell, even my Gransfors Bruk Scandinavian Forest Axe weighs only 60% as much, and it's a TOOL AXE for tasks, not fighting! Let's not even begin to compare it to a Dane axe. For those in the audience who don't handle real weapons that often, let's make it simple to numerical terms (as I am a video game designer): why would anyone want to use an axe that costs you 60 energy when you swing it to deals 60 damage at a range of 2, when you can easily wield a Dane axe that costs 20 energy to swing, deals 120 damage at the range of 8?? Doesn't make any sense. If I don't have a historical Dane axe, or skeggøx, I would much rather grab a tool hatchet, it's fast and effective, and I can use it in one hand with ease, allowing the offhand to use a shield.
Great review as always, guys!
Great to see you back in the saddle guys.
Speaking of historical examples of Dane axes, Windlass finally released their "Langeid two handed broadaxe." Its a type M Dane axe with reinforced edge. I don't know if you guys remember I asked for review and comparison to arms and armor's type M awhile back? I would appreciate it because I really want a good quality Dane axe replica but they are major $$$. 370usd is a lot with the exchange rate and shipping arms and armor's type M would probably be like almost 600ish bucks for me to buy while could get the Windlass for less than 300$. So I'm really torn between the expensive one I know is worth it, or the cheap one that might be just as awesome or kinda shitty. If you guys could get your hands on the Windlass and let me know how it holds up to the arms and armor I would be eternally greatful.
TO VALHALLA!!! 🤘 love your chanel
We do remember you asking for that. And we'd love to compare the two. But we have each had sharp things draining our bank accounts recently lol. If we can get our hands on one we will definitely review it and do a comparison.
Thank you for your continued support. We appreciate it! Skall! 🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼
@@UnsheathedSwordReviews Of course you guys remember me. You guys a cool lol. Can't wait for my shout out when you guys do get your hands on one 😉 I'm sure you know enough sword bro's you could get a loner to mess around with. Maybe I can lend you guys mine if I get sick of waiting. I can always sell it if its crap and keep saving up for the AA.
Ps. If by Skall you mean THE Skall.
I am unfortunately, not skallagrim... I wish lol his collection is choice. Especially that knecht...damn she's a beauty. Don't worry keep making these banger vids im sure he'll see one day🤘 you guys rule.
Love you guys, but Skall translates to something like "bark", as in making a command to a dog, it could also translate to shout, but it isnt used like that anymore, at least in sweden. Skål! Or skal if you lack the blessing of åäö
Yeah I’m not a fan of the non historical designs and the handling definitely a no go, good review 👍
Thanks for watching!
Also i've never understood why people LOVE having a spike at the end of their axe... Literally it's more of a liability to yourself than your enemy.
I hope you do a review of their 'One-Bit Bjorn' axe next.
I like both historical, tactical, and post-apocalyptic looks
I also own this axe, and I agree the thing is more dangerous for the user than it is for the target. And I LOVE Zombie Tools! Get the Hellion, or really any of their other products.
Yeah this was just a miss in terms of design. That said we reviewed the ZT Diphos and had much more favorable things to say about it. We'd be happy to review any Zombie Tools products we can get our hands on.
Thanks for watching!
Obviously we're only talking hypotheticals here, but I think you guys might be missing the larger picture.
**TL;DR** It's a tool built to take the most abuse and neglect you can throw at it under the premise of surviving an apocalyptic, quasi-fantasy scenario. As such, it's designed as a multi-functional tool where your life will depend on the ability to accomplish these various tasks *well enough* WHILE maintaining bug-out mobility.
I mean, the Dane axe? It's designed for warfare... as in facing off against other capable, agile HUMAN BEINGS. As a trained soldier/raiding warrior, you'd be supplied and supplemented by the social order of the time. Meaning in a "zombpoc", the context is *completely different* because there is no social order. That is to say, there's no more blacksmith to reforge or reprofile your axe head when it chips or fails. Nor will there be any logging industry or craftsmen to supply you w/ a haft when yours inevitably rots or cracks from exposure and use.
The idea of the kraken is something that you'll be able to rely on w/ the least amount of care Joe Q. Public can manage (clean, sharpen). First off it makes quick work of zombie bones(!-!). Second, and arguably most important, you can ALSO use this for survival unlike a Dane axe. Meaning basic bushcraft and breaching cars/dwellings in search of supplies. Obviously I grant you it's not designed to be ideal for any one specific purpose, considering your complaints... but then again cutting thru a few zombies is not quite the same thing as historic warfare. The way I see it, it'd be the ONE tool I could depend on not to fail, AND be able to carry on the move while trying not to draw attention. Ya know, using your wits... as opposed to fighting off hordes of zombies like you're Conan the barbarian cuz you got a Dane axe that wont tire you out for 20 mins instead of 10. All kidding aside, I think the context matters.
(!-!)For the record, I've used the Kraken. While you're correct about the weight, it seems as if you may be intentionally obfuscating the fact that the balance is rather quite evenly distributed. It's *nowhere near* as unwieldy as a fireaxe; the cross section of axe head is like 1/6th of an inch thick. Not to mention it's completely full tang construction with aluminum scales---nothing like a fireaxe. And to top it off, look at how you guys tested it in your video. Everyone's completely choking down on the handle and swinging at (lbs-for-lbs) "weightless" targets, like 12oz water bottles and the occasional gallon jug. Does it seem like any wonder now why it feels as if you've been swinging a fireaxe?
Look, my dudes... when you're connecting with hefty objects, like human bodies 100 lbs and up, your upper body musculature isn't taking the brunt of that velocity from trying to slow down and control the axe swing. Most of that kinetic energy gets transferred into the the target, more or less stopping the weapon. And this may be a "hot take", but your dominant hand should be closer to the middle of the haft, with the other on the butt end. You can even let that lead hand slide down the haft somewhere mid swing (whatever feels natural to your body mechanics). This makes for better control and less fatigue at the cost of SOME swing velocity.
I do agree with you on some things though. The price and the actual geometry of the axe head. The reduced reach I kinda agree, but then again you're facing the teeth of zombies, not soldiers with arming swords. So you've still got reach advantage. I think you're right that it could do with a bit of a refinement though. The axe bit more curved, the weight toned down with some judicious profile adjustments and tapering. As for the length and straightness, I think this was done so it would be more forgiving target accuracy. In this case design inspiration from the dane axe, I hear ya. I'm not so sure I agree about the spike however -- there's precedent in tomahawks with that design, no?
Anyway, I'm sooo looking forward to the vitriol responses. Or someone to come tell me how I got my shit wrong instead
Opinions vary, and you are certainly welcome to yours.
Thanks for watching.
As much as I love all sorts of interesting weapons whether they be close to historically accurate or very unusual as long as they're functional I like them... But this is disappointed the only thing I like about it is the name and frankly if you're going to name something kraken give it lots of tentacle iconography and maybe that would be a start on the issues that everyone else is already pointed out. Again I like a lot of aesthetically different weaponry as long as it's made to be usable but this is disappointing and there are a lot of other apocalypse themed weapons out there that are great or at least decent and usable for a lot less money
Dang, the kraken got called fat
You will be disqualified from entering Valhalla if you have this in your hand, as the gatekeeper of Valhalla I can tell you this.
I thought Zombie Tools would be the best for the coming imminent zombie apocalypse. But do you recommend a different company or weapon that tests as high in non-breakability but has a better design? Being cheaper helps a lot, too
Sad to see. I love post apocalyptical weapons, but this disappoints me. Using a giant piece of sheet metal to put a sharpened edge on it shows a fundamental misunderstanding what makes something an axe. Sorry, Zombie tools, not buying it. Do better with a redesign!
Yeah it's unfortunate, I really wanted to like this. And it definitely looks badass, but you're right. It fundamentally fails as an axe.
Thanks for watching!
I've checked out that axe a few times. If you look at the specs and compare them to real axes it's not surprising that it handles like a crowbar. For close to what this Zombie Tools axe costs, I ordered a reinforced Dane axe from Arms and Armor that should be better in every way.
Vic here, I think you definitely made the right call. The A&A Dane axe with the reinforced tip is one we both have been tempted by. Jon has said if he could go back he'd have gotten that instead of the regular version. He absolutely loves his Dane axe though, so I bet you'll be happy. Please let us know what you think of it!
Thanks for watching!
I have a sword question. I’m looking for a battle ready sword either gladius or Viking style that will retain its value. Any recommendations?
Sure we can definitely give some recommendations. If you're looking for high end pieces that will retain their value check out Albion. They make some fantastic Roman and Viking era swords. We actually have a review for one of their Augustus Gladius on the channel. I'll link to it in case you're interested. Also in the high end is Valiant Armory. I haven't seen any of their Viking swords in person but they look great. And with my experience with their swords I'm confident they'd be worth the money. Arms and Armor also make a few Viking era swords and they take custom orders. They just posted a picture of a custom Gladius they made and it looks legit. If you want some more mid range or budget options let me know and I'll be happy to recommend some makers. But in terms of fit and finish, historical accuracy and handling, and retaining their value, these would probably be your best bet.
Thanks for watching!
Albion Augustus Gladius Review
ua-cam.com/video/HP0MIFsa31o/v-deo.htmlsi=Lf9vTeUueeZaGpUO
Even I cant defend this axe, I been eyeing it for years and it just looks like it handles like a dr.seuss weapon. Their new smaller axe at least isnt dual sided
It definitely seems like zombie tools have to be taken on a case-by-case basis. That one-handed ax does look interesting for sure.
Can't hate on the Dr Seuss weapons though! I'd pay good money for a well made Snickberry Switch replica..... :-).
Real talk, thanks for watching, and for your input on this and the Diphos video.
@@UnsheathedSwordReviews there’s a butter on toast dr.Seuss joke somewhere there, and ofc comments help the algorithm! I hope you get one of those S5 long swords from cloudhammer
You should have used 1 hand u get better reach
Thanks for watching!
We mentioned that the 4 lb weight, and complete lack of distal taper make wielding it with one hand very sketchy.
You can pull off one-handed cuts, but recovery is impossible.
We appreciate your feedback!
You guys reviewed the two MOST UNWEIDLY designs EVER by zombie tools LOL... even the reaper i've SEEN handles better than these two
That's bad luck for us I guess.
I (Jon) honestly didn't mind the handling of the Diphos, for what it is. That axe is dangerous to the user though, and should be tossed into the sea. Carefully. So as to avoid injury.
If you had to pick one ZT product as their best performing/handling, which would it be?
@@UnsheathedSwordReviews the handling of the D’Capitan is great (2 lbs). Apokatana is okay but it takes getting used to due to the weight (3 lbs). Those are the two that I have. The sharkalope is arguably the fastest, best balanced of their swords. Skallagrim has a great review.
But yah I bought those two swords because of a little research and consideration because yeah they were all at the time about $500 after shipping lol which is expensive AF haha. I don’t see how these people have nothing but zombie tools, lots of other great brands for functional combat weapons