I really liked this advert till 7 mins in. I was thinking how is this a bad advert? I mean compared to the hilarious and embarrassing DOS 5 advert this is actually quite pleasant. Then they started rapping.
7:00: Okay, T-Bone! Time for some serious crunching! I'm using Windows Windows, Windows 386 So all my app-li-cations are running at once My report right now, is scattered all over my desk W-w-w-windows will pull these files together real quick I got pieces in one spreadsheet I got pieces in another I got pieces that have never been close to one another Some are in the da-ta-base where things are pretty stuffy Some are in the word pro-cess-or, that's where it gets fluffy(?) W-w-windows, W-w-windows, Windows 386 Will pull these parts together and do it mighty quick I'll cut and paste, cut-and-paste until it's in Pagemaker Then I'll slick it up to be T-Bone's heartbreaker. (Linda takes off her clothes) "Here's the spreadsheet data you asked for Linda..." WILLIAM! "Linda! Uh-oh. These are 1-2-3 files. That doesn't look like 1-2-3." 8:13 - It's Na-Na-Not! 1-2-2-2-3! But don't wo-rry Will-iam, just hand the disk to me! BARK BARK BARK I got! Several applications looking mighty slick Running un-der Win-dows 386! BARK BARK BARK In one of the win-dows I've got 1-2-2-2-3 Running at the same time as the others, can't you see? BARK BARK BARK I can cut and paste your files in-to my report Or I can make them look bet-ter with Mi-cro-soft Chart Charts is Charts is Charts is what I got CYMBAL SPLASH Now I'm gonna show you how to make the thing look hot! BARK "I'm in accounting! Nothing ever looks hot!" SYNTH SOLO Stand! Back William, stand b-b-b-back Windows 386! IS ON THE ATTACK! CYMBAL SPLASH, SYNTH SOLO CONTINUES WITH VAGUE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE INTERPOLATIONS AND VINYL SCRATCHING "Wooooooow..."
Seeing the lyrics/script spelled out really drives home the awe of this masterpiece. I died after the first BARK BARK BARK 🤣. Only correction: the "Charts is Charts is Charts is what I got" should be "Choices, choices, choice is what I got"
Agreed. Kind of long for a commercial! Not sure I'd make it and show it at a company meeting, or for anything? How can anyone write something like this?
Hell, even 480p would be a big improvement. It's almost always the case that the 240p videos are all blurry like this one, and the 480p's are generally passable. Hey, that's what broadcast TV was for years, if not decades.
@@betaneptune If this was recorded on tape during production, then it would be stuck at no higher than 480p forever. If it was shot on film however, that's an entirely different story.
I actually liked the ad, so I stopped at around 7 minutes in to read the comments, and then got warned there would be rapping. Rapping? So I resume play and right there it starts. Damn! The ad was fine till then.
This must be one of those how things will be in the future videos. I'm still using Windows 7. I don't know how long it will be until we get all the way up to Windows 386. That's 379 versions away. I probably won't live that long.
06:27: impressed with the screen refresh time. That PC must be a beast, at least a 25-MHz 386 with 4 MB RAM, probably 387 math co-processor, and I wouldn't be surprised if it even had a hard disk! Yes, maybe 10 or even 20 MB! That modem must be at least 2400 baud. And did you notice that the monitor was in color? Wow! And to top it all, it runs W-W-Windows three-eigh-ty-six! Jeez, you could buy a small car with that configuration's price. Top-notch! :-)
Windows 386 on a 386 doing virtualization with protected areas of memory in their dreams! It crashed more than anything. I used OS/2, *that* was a beast, it never crashed. You could run EGA, VGA and a black and green one and alternate seamlessly between them. With Windows… well, those alive then know what a blue screen of death is.
Fun Fact: The sunglasses she is wearing are Gargoyles Classics. The same model worn by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the original Terminator. Very collectable today.
What do you mean the worst? This is the best software ad I’ve ever seen, it’s hilarious and does a good job showing the new features of Windows 386! This is awesome!
In those years before even the internet, let alone youtube, it probably made the employees feel somewhat special. I mean, a video like this was MUCH more difficult to produce than it would be today. You couldn’t find a video for every conceivable thought like you can today, so this would have seemed much more special to the employees and sales staff it was intended for. Remember also that the camcorder was new at the time. A few years before this video was made, you would have needed a much more sophisticated sound stage and expensive sound cameras to make something like this, so most companies would never have undertaken the expense.
7:05 Andres Bravo: Allright, Time for some Rapping! Let's see if this OS Could Make the Job Done! ;-) Edit: jeez, it’s 10 years since your video uploaded on UA-cam... what a hit!
Part of this might be that in the past you wouldn't want to turn your PC off haphazardly. You needed to manually park the heads of the hard-disk before turning off the power (by means of the "park", "ship" or "shipdisk" command in DOS), or risk damaging the hard-disk. I remember doing this as a kid on our 286 XT machine back in 1989.
I remember in the mid-90s when computers started getting the power switch on the front of the computer and the uptick in people accidentally turning off their computer when they were trying to eject their floppy
That song in the beginning sure sounds like the music they used in the near ending Las Vegas scene where 'God's men' are about to be executed by Randall Flagg in "The Stand". %-|
When you abruptly stop taking your Antipsychotics, but you still got work to do.
I really liked this advert till 7 mins in. I was thinking how is this a bad advert? I mean compared to the hilarious and embarrassing DOS 5 advert this is actually quite pleasant.
Then they started rapping.
I feel your pain
I lost interest about four minutes in. Why am I watching a woman editing a document and talking to herself?
@@scottlarson1548 It gets "interesting" starting at 6:59. Try again. FF to 6:59.
Yes this was an internal video.
7:00: Okay, T-Bone! Time for some serious crunching!
I'm using Windows
Windows, Windows 386
So all my app-li-cations are running at once
My report right now, is scattered all over my desk
W-w-w-windows will pull these files together real quick
I got pieces in one spreadsheet
I got pieces in another
I got pieces that have never been close to one another
Some are in the da-ta-base where things are pretty stuffy
Some are in the word pro-cess-or, that's where it gets fluffy(?)
W-w-windows, W-w-windows, Windows 386
Will pull these parts together and do it mighty quick
I'll cut and paste, cut-and-paste until it's in Pagemaker
Then I'll slick it up to be T-Bone's heartbreaker.
(Linda takes off her clothes)
"Here's the spreadsheet data you asked for Linda..."
WILLIAM!
"Linda! Uh-oh. These are 1-2-3 files. That doesn't look like 1-2-3."
8:13 - It's Na-Na-Not!
1-2-2-2-3! But don't wo-rry Will-iam, just hand the disk to me!
BARK BARK BARK
I got! Several applications looking mighty slick
Running un-der Win-dows 386!
BARK BARK BARK
In one of the win-dows I've got 1-2-2-2-3
Running at the same time as the others, can't you see?
BARK BARK BARK
I can cut and paste your files in-to my report
Or I can make them look bet-ter with Mi-cro-soft Chart
Charts is Charts is Charts is what I got
CYMBAL SPLASH
Now I'm gonna show you how to make the thing look hot!
BARK
"I'm in accounting! Nothing ever looks hot!"
SYNTH SOLO
Stand! Back William, stand b-b-b-back
Windows 386! IS ON THE ATTACK!
CYMBAL SPLASH, SYNTH SOLO CONTINUES WITH VAGUE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE INTERPOLATIONS AND VINYL SCRATCHING
"Wooooooow..."
Seeing the lyrics/script spelled out really drives home the awe of this masterpiece. I died after the first BARK BARK BARK 🤣.
Only correction: the "Charts is Charts is Charts is what I got" should be "Choices, choices, choice is what I got"
This was't a commercial. This was an internal video shown at a company meeting. Still, pretty cheesy.
I wouldve committed seppuku in the meeting so my family maintained their honor
@@nutsackmania What's "seppuku"?
Agreed. Kind of long for a commercial! Not sure I'd make it and show it at a company meeting, or for anything? How can anyone write something like this?
I suppose it's no coincidence the crack epidemic started a mere three years before this video was created.
I was waiting for the sex scene.
T bone is gonna get slammed by a savvy feminist .
I must say - using a C-120 cassette for a two-minute message is wasteful of the corporation's money.
A self-destructing C120 that kills the player as well...
Probally a crap tape from a store with a name like "Loot 4 Less".
This has Ballmer written all over it.
This has mounds of cocaine all over it.
like ballmer
DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS!!!!!!
*sweats through shirt*
I got nervous when she started rapping.
+Stephen Pickering white people still can't rap tbh
Adam Putman I got nervous when reading this comment
7:05 and 8:13
Apparently Windows 386 gives you brain damage.
Choices Choices Choices, like why the hell did I decide to kill brain cells watch this..
this needs a 4K rescan of the original film prints and a theatrical wide release.
Hell, even 480p would be a big improvement. It's almost always the case that the 240p videos are all blurry like this one, and the 480p's are generally passable. Hey, that's what broadcast TV was for years, if not decades.
@@betaneptune If this was recorded on tape during production, then it would be stuck at no higher than 480p forever. If it was shot on film however, that's an entirely different story.
No
No it doesn't 🤣
@@Zoomer30_ HOW DARETH THEE
They should have a promo like this for Windows 10. All the same cast and crew.
Uh-huh . Good idea .
their probably dead
@@fart1234.
If they were under 40 in the video, probably not. Although a lot can happen in 35+ years.
I actually liked the ad, so I stopped at around 7 minutes in to read the comments, and then got warned there would be rapping. Rapping? So I resume play and right there it starts. Damn! The ad was fine till then.
She wasn't as good as Blondie's Debbie Harry . But she was cool with it .
She has a deadline at 5 pm and she has time to install Windows???
This must be one of those how things will be in the future videos. I'm still using Windows 7. I don't know how long it will be until we get all the way up to Windows 386. That's 379 versions away. I probably won't live that long.
Hello from the future. We’ve just made it to version 11. Rap songs haven’t reached the standard in this video yet either.
They will skip from 360 to One as they did with the Xbox
It was a name not a number, Windows for the 386 (an old processor type). There was also Windows 286, and then Windows 3.
@@ohpurpled r/wooosh
I didn't know that Cindy Lauper worked for Microsoft.
LOL . This all supposed to be secret .
7:12 And just when you thought this couldn't possibly get any cheesier, she starts rapping. Oh joy...
06:27: impressed with the screen refresh time. That PC must be a beast, at least a 25-MHz 386 with 4 MB RAM, probably 387 math co-processor, and I wouldn't be surprised if it even had a hard disk! Yes, maybe 10 or even 20 MB! That modem must be at least 2400 baud. And did you notice that the monitor was in color? Wow! And to top it all, it runs W-W-Windows three-eigh-ty-six! Jeez, you could buy a small car with that configuration's price. Top-notch! :-)
This is actually the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.
So... how much did Microsoft pay to use the "Mission Impossible" theme song in this video?
My assumption is: Nothing. Why would they pay to license music when they can just pirate it?
@@Cowclops Don't copy that floppy!
@@RobertPlank I would hella download a car if i could.
Cowclops "You wouldn't steal a car..." But if a friend asked, "I just bought a new car, can I burn you a copy?" I would say yes.
@@RobertPlank I got that reference from Software Publishers Association
Ow. The rapping. Jesus...
That was different time I know... But like.... wut?
This feels like they didn't know which audience they were going for.
It's like the résumé of a failed decade...
Nobody caught that that guy's name is "Mike Clock?" Cmon internet...
Back in the '80s, futurism was a drug in and of itself.
I'd say this commercial is about showing people how Windows 386 made Linda mentally ill.
I keep a cassette tape player in my office for just such an occasion
I am sure changing clothes in offices are against company guidelines
This is me when I have to type the report in the middle of night
Windows 386 on a 386 doing virtualization with protected areas of memory in their dreams! It crashed more than anything. I used OS/2, *that* was a beast, it never crashed. You could run EGA, VGA and a black and green one and alternate seamlessly between them. With Windows… well, those alive then know what a blue screen of death is.
Microsoft Home commercial - Hold my Microsoft Natural Keyboard
Windows 386... IS ON THE ATTACK
Couldn't she do all this on a Mac without jumping through hoops? Anything prior to Windows 3.1 just seems maddening.
i love how on every page he was looking through theres a picture of the space shuttle on every page in the same place...
Why does every page of the report have a picture of a space shuttle on it?
Steve Ballmer is an important Steve in the computer world
That was not possible. I did NOT see that. No.
stubhead yes you did
Oh god the sexual suspense is killing me.
Fun Fact: The sunglasses she is wearing are Gargoyles Classics. The same model worn by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the original Terminator. Very collectable today.
You are probably right . Since there are no more Terminator movies coming out any time soon .
Can't believe Microsoft was promoting OS2.
What do you mean the worst? This is the best software ad I’ve ever seen, it’s hilarious and does a good job showing the new features of Windows 386! This is awesome!
What the hell! Seriously what the hell was that?! Were people really that gullible back in the 80's? Windows 386 my ass!
gotta love that synth solo 8:53
wow so 80s... but the lame 80s...
Tbone got taken down and Mike did not corrupt our heroine. This is a good movie and I hope these people put out more work like this.
Looks like Microsoft was still planning to fall back onto OS/2 if Windows failed.
This is NOT the worst but the BEST Microsoft Advert eva!
Microsoft commercials are legendary ! This one is no exception .
The music was made with the Windows 386 MIDI editor as well? xD
The sad thing is also that the amount Microsoft spent on this ad, I could live on for life!
In those years before even the internet, let alone youtube, it probably made the employees feel somewhat special. I mean, a video like this was MUCH more difficult to produce than it would be today. You couldn’t find a video for every conceivable thought like you can today, so this would have seemed much more special to the employees and sales staff it was intended for.
Remember also that the camcorder was new at the time. A few years before this video was made, you would have needed a much more sophisticated sound stage and expensive sound cameras to make something like this, so most companies would never have undertaken the expense.
Who uses 120 minute cassettes? Mad people.
The whole video fell apart after 8 minutes
This whole video fell apart after 10 seconds.
Ah yes, that nostalgic pre-2000s millennium stuff
4 applications running at once? WOW!
7:05 Andres Bravo: Allright, Time for some Rapping! Let's see if this OS Could Make the Job Done! ;-)
Edit: jeez, it’s 10 years since your video uploaded on UA-cam... what a hit!
8:13 And I'm Feeling Like A common 80's style since before the 90's existed... (But I Was Born in 2003.)
I would have loved to hear the director and producer pitch this ...idea!
It only took 20 years for designers to learn putting the power switch on the front was more convenient than on the back.
The original IBM PC 5150 from 1981 had the switch on the right side of the machine
Part of this might be that in the past you wouldn't want to turn your PC off haphazardly. You needed to manually park the heads of the hard-disk before turning off the power (by means of the "park", "ship" or "shipdisk" command in DOS), or risk damaging the hard-disk. I remember doing this as a kid on our 286 XT machine back in 1989.
I remember in the mid-90s when computers started getting the power switch on the front of the computer and the uptick in people accidentally turning off their computer when they were trying to eject their floppy
Unless you had an Amiga. Just goes to show you that the best tech does not always win.
Chicks writing reports in 1986: "I'll just go online for that."
did any of these people ever work again after this?
Things are quite legit until the 7th minute ....
I love it. I actually think it's a rather cool and funny advert for what it's worth.
Wows, now we have Macapple Pentagon with Gigis of Rams.
Fucking stupid as hell and I LOVE it!!!
So the whole company has to use Windows because one analyst was dating the Windows salesman. Nice!
Windows/386, Get it at your local Kmart, And while you're at Kmart, Pick up a 386!!!
I miss Kmart :(
Perhaps add Jerry Seinfeld and you've got something.
its like how 7 minutes in the directures gut drunk
This is not a comercial, this is a movie
That song in the beginning sure sounds like the music they used in the near ending Las Vegas scene where 'God's men' are about to be executed by Randall Flagg in "The Stand". %-|
Masterpiece
Is Windows 386 even a real OS? There's no wikipedia article for it
That's part of a version of Windows 2.1x or 2.0
Windows 1 and 2 barley existed.
+Mr. Toonster it is very much a real product. gunkies.org/wiki/Windows_2.0#Windows.2F386
It ran on MS-DOS, like windows 1.0/2.0/3.0/3.1 etc..
Mr. Toonster Windows 386 is kinda like Windows 2.1
And it even ends on a Night Court freeze frame... perfect.
first it was cheesy but when she started singing and rapping, i had a hard time keeping myself from suicide...
I'm pretty sure the makers of this video could be bought to The Hague on war crime charges.
The blue screen of death works fine at that time...
This was my favorite OS until Windows XP came out. I ADORE this promotional tool. It is so feminist! LOVES IT!
The decade that taste forgot.
When madness takes its toll!
Wow! Better than Windows 10.
Back in those days I always just used dos and q-dos to open my apps and games.
They must have edited out all the BSODs. If you look carefully you can see that t her hair's longer and the roots have grown out.
PRESS "PLAY" ON TAPE.
Am I on drugs?
This isn't bad, THIS IS GODLY!
Data Analytics 80s style
and... BTW "your clean underwear will disintegrate in 5 seconds because you ain't gonna get it done in time." DA DA DA>>>>>>>
Now I see where The Americans copied their gritty drama and realism from.
If I had that Cyndi Lauper clone marching in place and wagging her finger at me, I'd run away, not hand her files.
On top of this, Windows/386 is just about the shittiest piece of software ever written. Won't run in a virtual machine, won't run on an actual 386.
Doesn't that look like Tucker Carlson kissing her hand starting at about 11:10? Damn. Hard to tell at 240p! I mean hard to tell if it looks like him.
AND THEN EVERYONE STOOD UP AND CLAPPED
This was destined to be a meme
Are those Gargoyles "Terminator" sunglasses? That chick looks sweeet!
...orrrrrrrrrrr THE BEST MICROSOFT ADVERTISEMENT EVER!
really happy to see people still comment on dead videos
I STOPPED the video at the 7:19 mark and I refuse to watch any further! 🤣🤣🤣
what a heartbreaking ending... a freaking sales guy!
+Alfred Glickman A crummy commercial?! ...Son of a bitch!
He obviously the after work dinner date with her . Success !
It looks like OS/2 people, O-S-Freakin-2!!!
This one just a bit long, remember how Steve Blamer scream about Windows 1.0 and Windows XP?
and they put a 7 year old kid on the keyboards for the rap beat. brilliant.
Hi, I'm from the future. We think you have bad hair.