Sedative (My Manic Manifesto)

Sedative (My Manic Manifesto) and original song by Trisha Markinson
I’m obsessive.
I’m an undiagnosed manic depressive.
Give me more than one option and you’ll regret it.
But don’t you sweat it,
Because tomorrow I am bound to forget it…
Not…
And if I let it,
The tiniest thoughts could get repetitive.
I’ve been looping this for days,
I need a sedative.
Let it settle in…
I could really use a sedative.
My timing’s always off
And I’m feeling kind of lost.
Fuck, I almost killed this thought,
Man, I’d really love to stop…
And if I can, well, I forgot,
How to pause it, how to drop,
And if “loving’s what I got,”
Well then “loving’s what I got”…over and over again.
Did I trigger you?
I’m so sorry that my pain came into your Perfect view.
Next time I’ll just, cut off my hair,
And maybe get a new tattoo.
“I don’t know,
Don’t get bangs, just
Cut off an inch or two…”
I say to myself…
In the mirror...
My timing’s always off
And I’m feeling kind of lost
Like, I almost killed this thought,
Man, I’d really love to stop…
And if I can, well, I forgot,
How to pause it, how to drop,
And if “loving’s what I got,”
Well then “loving’s what I got”…over and over and over again,
Until I kill the record.
Fuck, it’s killing me.
I can’t,
Break out from the cycle of
This OCD.
It’s like I’m just trapped here on wash,
Rinse cycle and then repeat.
Except I haven’t showered, or changed my
Clothes in
Oof, a week?
But who could blame me?
…my mom maybe…
‘Cause my timings always off
And I’m feeling kind of lost
Fuck, I almost killed this thought,
Man, I’d really love to stop…
And if I can, well, I forgot,
How to pause it, how to drop,
And if “loving’s what I got,”
Well then “loving’s what I got”
And then, I’ll put it to the ethers,
'Til it’s blasting through your speakers.
Think I saw you at my rebirth,
I remember all your features.
She said “maybe we’re just creatures.”
I tell ya, I believe her.
I really, I wanna keep her…
Can I keep her?