Hey! have you joined the High Vibe Tribe yet? its my new free community! I go live and do free workshops and meditations in there, join here! aarondoughty.com/highvibetribe
I had a limiting belief that if I was nice "they" would be nice back. When "they" weren't nice to me I tried harder to be nicer. I took their unhappiness personally. After I experienced the greatest betrayal, I finally realized the limiting belief I identified with. I was then able to let the belief go and grow into a person who no longer sacrifices my happiness, my time or attention for another's comfort. I am kind to me and respect myself before anyone else. No matter how another feels about it. I understand if they have an issue with my NO it is their responsibility to deal with it not mine. I am still a kind person however I take the time now to understand what is in MY best interest. Amen!
stop caring what other people think of you, it is what you think of yourself that matters, you are responsible for your own happiness, be genuine, authentic, true to yourself, not only is this the best thing for you, but it sets a positive example for others, if they get upset calmly say that I am sorry you feel that way, but I must be true to myself and I encourage you to do the same
If you’re reading this, please know you are the embodiment of love & perfection EXACTLY AS YOU ARE ❤️❤️❤️ You don’t have to overcompensate or people-please anymore… those days are over for you ❤️❤️❤️
Another way to say this is be nice when moved by your heart to feel kindness, not when you want approval because you dont love yourself enough. It doesnt mean remove being nice from your character.
NOPE. What does nice word as pertaining to someone even symbolize?? You can say someone is kind, smart, loving, giving etc. but nice?? What does than even mean besides meaning nice to the person that said it. Would you ever describe your "niceness" as a quality? That has no meaning or context but you can say- I am kind, I am smart, I am loving. If you cannot muster the courage to say to yourself that you are not nice.. then you are a people pleaser. You are not nice but you can be kind. Big difference.
When I've been authentic and vulnerable with people who were supposed to be family, they took that information and used it against me in a manipulative way. Crappy people like that is what makes people not want to be vulnerable. We get taken advantage of for being vulnerable cause they see it as a weakness.
@@johan9266intentions maybe I agree with you but feelings sometimes you should. All the people claiming they don’t want to show their feelings to others are the same exact ones complaining about people not being “nice” or “kind” enough to them. Yeah. They’re not nice because they just do the exact same to protect themselves. If everyone is just closing themselves like that I don’t wonder anymore why people seem so cold and miserable these days.
@@johan9266 Yeah that’s how I used to feel. You don’t just give trust out to anyone, trust is earned not given. Then these people told me I was f’d up for that and I should trust them. Then they basically mentally abused me and stabbed me in the back after I gave them my trust because they made me feel guilty for not trusting people easily. They proved my original feelings right. Bunch of preying narcissists
@@audreyMatangi Yeah its all my fault for thinking that extended family wouldn't be such pieces of garbage. They portray themselves as your family but are constantly covertly jabbing you, shaming you, degrading you, gas lighting you, and stabbing you in the back when they get the chance. But then turn around and say they care about you and love you while they do it. It's manipulative narcissistic abuse, which was not taught in school growing up so I was not aware of what they were doing while they were doing it. They do these things to keep you in a constant state of confusion. I had to educate myself on the subject, now I know and see it for what it is. These people are sadistic.
@@cryptomaniac2 I totally understand what you mean, my best friend went through the same thing, but I assume that you are an adult now, what I meant was that, stuff like that CAN happen, it could, but we don’t have to be paranoid living in fear 24/7 because of what happened in the past. It’s OKAY to be scared, to express yourself and tell others that you’re honestly scared about it happening again, that’s fine, however, reacting like “oh I’ll just completely close myself off from the entire world and never trust anyone again” just shows that you’re not healed, clearly, and that you’ll not get better if you keep thinking that way. Unfortunately, we all individually have to learn to recognize patterns like that happening and being respectful with ourselves not to allow people to hurt us, HOWEVER, what I was trying to say is; Don’t close yourself to the world completely, thinking that it’s the only way for you to be safe. Cuz it’s not. You’ll never feel better if you keep expecting the worst from everyone around you. Eventually, we all have to take the risk of getting hurt but as the other commenter who replied to you said; We learn to adapt to that.
I’m following you since couple of months and you are the first channel that I sit with notebook and a pen in my hand! You’re the first ever channel, through which I make notes! Thank you! You’re helping!
The first 30 seconds in I'm allready, this is gonna be gooddd... You said it all in just half a minute, so spot on!! Gonna watch the whole thing now... And then go to the spa, enjoying a nice afternoon of pleasing no one else but myself..... 😊❤
Aaron, its amazing how you can look the way you want to, not the way someone else has approved. There is no time when you aren't beautiful. Much love now and always from your soul family.
You are instrumental in my crossing to a anew world and new me and heal, from the worst time of my life last month. I am member of that community and yes, it has helped me beyond words!!!
Omggg I am going through this now! I did breathe work this week.. and all my insecurities was coming up this week was very emotional! And this is one of it people pleasing!! Wow thank you Aaron for this video !!!
Thank you! This is all true, I have been told that I am too honest, in the fact that I spill all of the beans immediately. This was after I awakened but before I was always worried about fitting in with others to the point of just being ridiculous
Wow I hardly slept last night pondering my whole life. This resonated. I have always done everything for everyone my whole life and never felt appreciated for it. I didnt do it for accolades either. I always put my family and others first. They rarely reciprocated. I woke up feeling what have I done wrong. I read this and Wow...manipulation?
It's really beautiful how you think about this topic. This will help a lot of people. So good ! As hard as it is, we should really take responsibility for ourselves. What you actually hope to find in others, you already have within yourself. Let it flow and let it go.😊 Lots of love 🩷
Think about it, when we act out of fear of rejection or judgment, we're not being honest. We're altering our actions to get a specific outcome, whether it’s approval, acceptance, or avoiding conflict. That's manipulation, just in a softer form. Cmiiw
So now that we all realize what is and has been transpiring there should be no reason for mishaps in the future. We began our studies speaking about resistance that was indeed necessary for specific reason. We are reversing out red-opposite now just so you’re aware. We found “Grumpy-Care Bear” and the connected “Heart Bear”, and even though they are sending the wrong one, we have found our wedding rings, our HT rings and our Money Rings so everyone in each of those circles can expect a visit sometime soon to end their suffering forever. Thanks for your input, “There’s your sign”, Bear. You earned a shiny “new” Lincoln Penny, and I saved “Our Father”. (Accrediting as required.)
I am so grateful every time you share your perspective on growing up the way you did and how to heal and change those dynamics. I feel so seen and heard and honestly empowered for the first time in a long time! Thank you ❤
I am a people pleaser but not because of mom or dad. I have never tried to please mom or dad. I usually got this character by seeing others behave around high society.
I dont even know I do it. I had to to survive. I hate what my mother did. I hate how people use me. I give, they never give back. I feel awful when I set a boundary and they fucking run!
It’s the guilt making you think that if you never had set the boundary, then maybe they would’ve stayed but at the same time that guilt also is a good sign that your overriding the program of people pleasing that made others’ needs more important than yours. Allow yourself to feel “awful” aka guilty and through time, you’ll start to feel honored and worthy to set boundaries, make space for your needs and let the wrong people leave! People who get upset when you set boundaries were benefiting from you not having none. Remember that!
How did you pack so much into 16:55? There's enough here to spend the remainder of a lifetime working out. I see our shared experiences have us speaking the same language perfectly, and while I may be a decade or so ahead of you on this mysterious trail, you are spiritually an equal distance ahead of me. My issue is trying to break out. Long story, enough trauma to melt wax. I think I'm trying too hard, I know better as it comes to me or it's of my own doing. I think I see it now, it's the triggers. I have discovered the only way to truly step into yourself to fulfill that purpose that drives you, is to honestly deal with any and all past trauma FIRST. If you are dysregulated by trauma into despair OR, even to great heights if you think you have arrived, you are neighter here nor there. You can't be anywhere but stuck if you are dysregulated by trauma in any form. You are technically in fight or flight, if you don't have access to the logical side of your brain, how could you be in touch with your spirit 'in reality'? There's the whacky thoughts that spill outta my dome. Thanks for an honest opinion on this subject. You can never bless others if you don't speak up in truth and honesty, but that's not the point either because you have no control once it leaves your mouth. Let it be what it will be. Some things take years to sprout and grow and reproduce.
And I'm guessing that they probably need to hear what we're really thinking, but are afraid to say because we think it would sound mean or we think that we need to go along with whatever they're saying and agree with them
3 things that ACTUALLY helped me manifest $1000 dollars into my life when I needed it the most 1. Creating a physical vision board with the RIGHT images 2. Reading the book Unleashing Your Dream Reality by Caleb Clarkson twice through 3. Applying the technique from the book called synesthetic visualisation everyday
Gifting another soul the truth of how you really feel I come to realise provides so much growth I much prefer and respect authenticity as I wouldn’t want someone to be nice to me, I would want them to be real and only be kind and loving if that’s what’s really felt in the heart. Best thing ever is to SPEAK YOUR TRUTH from your heart and say exactly how you really feel 100% always 💚💫
Okay but what if my "authentic inner voice" wants to be pretty critical and mean to people. My mum was a narcissist and pretty critical of me, and I think now as a result I have that inside me, whether I inherited it from her, or it's just a part of me, or it's a result of that abuse. I find it really hard to not just snap at people and be mean sometimes. Including my partner and son. I don't, I usually deal with those feelings alone. But I worry my "authentic inner voice" is critical and mean.
Use your “mean” side more. Thats what I did and I realized people respect me more! I thought I was being “mean” and might hurt others feelings but in reality I was being mean to myself and hurting my own feelings by not standing up for myself and saying how I really felt. Once I let go of not needing others approval and validation of seeing me as “nice, good, etc” I stopped caring about what people thought about me and made my perception of myself matter more. People will respect you more because they see you care more about yourself than their perspective about you. At the end of the day there’s a difference between being mean and a a**hole for no reason and setting boundaries and sticking up for yourself because someone it’s disrespecting you. BE “MEAN” and grow past your people pleasing!
I’ve been very removed from getting the validation of others for some time, it’s a daily practice, yet I feel like at some point I’m going to want to please someone, because it almost feels like I’ve become hyper selfish and isolated from others… I’m a dick, accepting myself 🙂
But the real me is nice, that’s the issue. When you say be the real you, what do you mean? I’m nice because I feel good when I help someone out, I feel good when I please people. Do I need help?
It depends on the motivation behind your behaviors. If you're seeking to help people so that you gain approval, keep the peace, or for acceptance or praise, that's people pleasing. If you do it purely for altruistic reasons; to improve yourself, to make the world a better place, to help that person or organization to improve, that's not people pleasing. People pleasing is a childhood wound to keep everything safe and secure. If you felt very unsafe in childhood, you are likely to try to keep life in homeostasis by seeking control over your environment. The real trick is understanding that safety exists within you, not externally from you.
Thank Aaron!!! God bless❤❤❤❤. I really understans what you're saying and I agree. I was allways trying to please my parents cause they didn't get along. I allways felt that my parents are my soulmates and their values should, therefor, be meaningful for me. I see that a child doesn't want to get a degree like the Mother does but when a Mother highly values specifically education I would really respect that at the same time.
Republican and Democrat, mother- father dynamic? I've questioned now for 10 plus years why I need a proxy to represent my interests when we've had a fully functioning internet for 20+ years that provides unlimited information on any subject, so any intelligent citizen can really make their own decisions. The pulic is still asleep when it comes to this dynamic. They are asking to be controlled so they don't have to take responsibility for the situation they're in and look inside themselves. Perhaps this will be a part of the changes to humanity during the 4th turning.
Society values people who have degree and if you want to be heard in the world you must have a degree. It actually very important in society and it means you have a status. I do not agree but it sad that society see people with degree on a pedestal. Try to have someone on this pedestal who does wrong to someone who doesn’t. Society will go with the person who has a degree rather than the person who doesn’t. The person who doesn’t has no choice to prove themselves that they are a good person and has to show evidence. But the person with a degree is protected by others and until you have a certain amount of evidence against an individual than and only than will this person with a degree been seen wrongful. So crazy how we put people on pedestals who have a degree.😊
That is funny to think . I assume something bad happend to you so you gain or better say accept that program. People are not black and white. Things in our universe at all levels are not just black and white. We can not judge people because of degree, masters or not having it. We can not judge people by their skin colour , we can not judge people just because they have money. That mindset is what's keeping you poor. That is a fact. We are not our masters or cash on banks we have but what kind of person I , you, we are. I had to comment on this and I am sorry if something bad happend to you but that does not have any thing with you, or even that person. You are choosing to be it. It could be you or anyone else. It could be me. But matter of fact ask yourself and why not me?! There is a lot of toxic , abused people out there with money , with the statuse in upperclass I know causs I work with them but you can not judge book by one page when there is planty more. I don't know what have had happened to you personaly but if you see life as garbage the only thing that you will get is eventualy same garbage that you are throwing out. And this also does not have anything with any one deegree....peace and God bless ya.
Well great point but look at the world now a days. People are having trouble getting jobs if they don’t have a degree. Also this isn’t about race or now a days at all. It’s more about Classism that is so silent in this world but is very much a reality and people don’t want to discuss it. How people suppress other nations and races, genders and even where you come from now is hindering your progress sometimes. Maybe in Your world but have you ever volunteered in shelters because people are loosing there homes and jobs for no reasons. But if you take a bigger look at situations and the bigger pictures you will see very clearly that it has depths to it. There is people who worked very hard and cannot get work for no reason. Why is that? Well maybe being ignorant is a okay but in the real world people are being hinder and it sad that we must seek a degree. But we all have a purpose in this world whether it a housekeeper or a CEO. It shouldn’t matter about where you came from or your family history, race, culture or gender. We all should be judge on our skills and what we bring to the table. But it is unfortunate that yes in our society we are marked why I don’t know but we should stop it for sure and be aware of it. That’s why unity is so important now a days. It sad that there is a bigger picture to the problem and thank you for your opinion but i to have my opinion. As I respectful appreciate your response.
How many people are like Aaron. Not to many. Well if you don’t like my comment that’s fine. But if you are looking at it on a bigger spectrum than that is reality. Hey, you can definitely build something on your own and it could be amazing and do great or not. But don’t kid yourself. I am sure Aaron puts education his selfs in different ways to get us great content. He even has said all the books he reads and things he try’s and places he goes to learn different aspects. So he is always learning to give us content. The fact is we all must keep learning education is important. Thanks for your reply it always nice to get feedback on any level. 😊
He has 3 championships. He’ll have sponsorships until he dies. Everyone has a degree and the majority of them are broke. He can be a coach - sport commentator - sport podcast - selling something.
Just by the title good grief . People pleasing isn't manipulation . Is a trauma from childhood where caretakers were over critical and it's a response action . That is in psych 101. 💁🏼♀️
Generally like your content but you sound a bit to angry for my style. I get you had bad parents but everyone is doing the best they can, have some respect, parent sacrifice a lot to raise their children. Wait till you have children, parent need to raise good humans and that requires doing things that children don’t always like.
Wheweeeee you are defensive talkin about Aaron is the mad one, man I hope he ignores this type of feedback rooted in the persons own ego. that right there is a whole bunch of COPE. 😂 I hear a lot of this talk from sorry ahh parents 🤷♀️
Hey! have you joined the High Vibe Tribe yet? its my new free community! I go live and do free workshops and meditations in there, join here! aarondoughty.com/highvibetribe
I had a limiting belief that if I was nice "they" would be nice back. When "they" weren't nice to me I tried harder to be nicer. I took their unhappiness personally. After I experienced the greatest betrayal, I finally realized the limiting belief I identified with. I was then able to let the belief go and grow into a person who no longer sacrifices my happiness, my time or attention for another's comfort. I am kind to me and respect myself before anyone else. No matter how another feels about it. I understand if they have an issue with my NO it is their responsibility to deal with it not mine. I am still a kind person however I take the time now to understand what is in MY best interest. Amen!
Well written 👍
Also. Theirs 'unhapiness' was their right to put their wellbeing first
I'm so sick of being 'nice' omg 😢 but feeling someone else's wrath towards you, when you speak up is also so painful.
stop caring what other people think of you, it is what you think of yourself that matters, you are responsible for your own happiness, be genuine, authentic, true to yourself, not only is this the best thing for you, but it sets a positive example for others, if they get upset calmly say that I am sorry you feel that way, but I must be true to myself and I encourage you to do the same
100% 😉
Trauma bond.. same here, tired of this s*it
If you’re reading this, please know you are the embodiment of love & perfection EXACTLY AS YOU ARE ❤️❤️❤️ You don’t have to overcompensate or people-please anymore… those days are over for you ❤️❤️❤️
🤍👑✨
I claim this over my life asé thank you so much ❤🎉❤
Thanks for the reminder 😃👍🙏🏼
@@UrsulaOracle 🙏✨💖
@@PinkNPrincess4 yesss sending love & blessings your way!!! 🤍🕊️✨
Another way to say this is be nice when moved by your heart to feel kindness, not when you want approval because you dont love yourself enough. It doesnt mean remove being nice from your character.
@@FuchsiaFire444 yes… so well said 👏
NOPE. What does nice word as pertaining to someone even symbolize?? You can say someone is kind, smart, loving, giving etc. but nice?? What does than even mean besides meaning nice to the person that said it.
Would you ever describe your "niceness" as a quality? That has no meaning or context but you can say- I am kind, I am smart, I am loving.
If you cannot muster the courage to say to yourself that you are not nice.. then you are a people pleaser.
You are not nice but you can be kind. Big difference.
I know exactly why this video fell into my lap. I’m done with pleasing people who do not appreciate me to ultimately only displease myself. Noted 📝 ✅
When I've been authentic and vulnerable with people who were supposed to be family, they took that information and used it against me in a manipulative way. Crappy people like that is what makes people not want to be vulnerable. We get taken advantage of for being vulnerable cause they see it as a weakness.
Yes, It’s not worth it to show your real opinions, feelings, or intentions to just anybody.
@@johan9266intentions maybe I agree with you but feelings sometimes you should.
All the people claiming they don’t want to show their feelings to others are the same exact ones complaining about people not being “nice” or “kind” enough to them. Yeah. They’re not nice because they just do the exact same to protect themselves.
If everyone is just closing themselves like that I don’t wonder anymore why people seem so cold and miserable these days.
@@johan9266 Yeah that’s how I used to feel. You don’t just give trust out to anyone, trust is earned not given. Then these people told me I was f’d up for that and I should trust them. Then they basically mentally abused me and stabbed me in the back after I gave them my trust because they made me feel guilty for not trusting people easily. They proved my original feelings right. Bunch of preying narcissists
@@audreyMatangi Yeah its all my fault for thinking that extended family wouldn't be such pieces of garbage. They portray themselves as your family but are constantly covertly jabbing you, shaming you, degrading you, gas lighting you, and stabbing you in the back when they get the chance. But then turn around and say they care about you and love you while they do it. It's manipulative narcissistic abuse, which was not taught in school growing up so I was not aware of what they were doing while they were doing it. They do these things to keep you in a constant state of confusion. I had to educate myself on the subject, now I know and see it for what it is. These people are sadistic.
@@cryptomaniac2 I totally understand what you mean, my best friend went through the same thing, but I assume that you are an adult now, what I meant was that, stuff like that CAN happen, it could, but we don’t have to be paranoid living in fear 24/7 because of what happened in the past. It’s OKAY to be scared, to express yourself and tell others that you’re honestly scared about it happening again, that’s fine, however, reacting like “oh I’ll just completely close myself off from the entire world and never trust anyone again” just shows that you’re not healed, clearly, and that you’ll not get better if you keep thinking that way.
Unfortunately, we all individually have to learn to recognize patterns like that happening and being respectful with ourselves not to allow people to hurt us, HOWEVER, what I was trying to say is; Don’t close yourself to the world completely, thinking that it’s the only way for you to be safe. Cuz it’s not. You’ll never feel better if you keep expecting the worst from everyone around you. Eventually, we all have to take the risk of getting hurt but as the other commenter who replied to you said; We learn to adapt to that.
I’m following you since couple of months and you are the first channel that I sit with notebook and a pen in my hand! You’re the first ever channel, through which I make notes! Thank you! You’re helping!
The first 30 seconds in I'm allready, this is gonna be gooddd... You said it all in just half a minute, so spot on!! Gonna watch the whole thing now... And then go to the spa, enjoying a nice afternoon of pleasing no one else but myself..... 😊❤
Kick-ass classic from you. Yes Aaron, there's nobody, I mean nobody but myself who can be my shield.
Aaron, its amazing how you can look the way you want to, not the way someone else has approved. There is no time when you aren't beautiful. Much love now and always from your soul family.
You are instrumental in my crossing to a anew world and new me and heal, from the worst time of my life last month. I am member of that community and yes, it has helped me beyond words!!!
It’s a gift for his mother. One that is not bought . One that she will cherish beyond words.
Aaron I need your podcasts on a repeat in my ears. ✨ You’ve been a huge part in my people pleasing battle. Thank you for all you do! ❤
Definitely, it’s like you should wake up with him automatically speaking to you 😀 his videos really lift you up to another level!
Omggg I am going through this now! I did breathe work this week.. and all my insecurities was coming up this week was very emotional! And this is one of it people pleasing!! Wow thank you Aaron for this video !!!
Thank you! This is all true, I have been told that I am too honest, in the fact that I spill all of the beans immediately. This was after I awakened but before I was always worried about fitting in with others to the point of just being ridiculous
But now I am easier with my delivery 💜
Wow I hardly slept last night pondering my whole life. This resonated. I have always done everything for everyone my whole life and never felt appreciated for it. I didnt do it for accolades either. I always put my family and others first. They rarely reciprocated. I woke up feeling what have I done wrong. I read this and Wow...manipulation?
It's really beautiful how you think about this topic. This will help a lot of people. So good ! As hard as it is, we should really take responsibility for ourselves. What you actually hope to find in others, you already have within yourself. Let it flow and let it go.😊
Lots of love 🩷
Think about it, when we act out of fear of rejection or judgment, we're not being honest. We're altering our actions to get a specific outcome, whether it’s approval, acceptance, or avoiding conflict. That's manipulation, just in a softer form. Cmiiw
Facts.
You think when we wore furs and hunt and gathered we said what we think out of love toward self?
Being rejected meant simply death
Being nice and people pleasing aren’t the same things.
So now that we all realize what is and has been transpiring there should be no reason for mishaps in the future. We began our studies speaking about resistance that was indeed necessary for specific reason. We are reversing out red-opposite now just so you’re aware. We found “Grumpy-Care Bear” and the connected “Heart Bear”, and even though they are sending the wrong one, we have found our wedding rings, our HT rings and our Money Rings so everyone in each of those circles can expect a visit sometime soon to end their suffering forever. Thanks for your input, “There’s your sign”, Bear. You earned a shiny “new” Lincoln Penny, and I saved “Our Father”. (Accrediting as required.)
I did a research paper about internal and external LOCUS OF CONTROL related to high blood pressure in 2021
I am so grateful every time you share your perspective on growing up the way you did and how to heal and change those dynamics.
I feel so seen and heard and honestly empowered for the first time in a long time!
Thank you ❤
You have a lot of courage, you're a warrior.
I am a people pleaser but not because of mom or dad. I have never tried to please mom or dad. I usually got this character by seeing others behave around high society.
Yes and that's another fact that we don't share/talk about enough! 'People pleasers syndrome' has multiple reasons and origins ~ thanks for sharing ♡
Thank you Aaron for sharing your experiences and knowledge 🙏🙏🙏
❤ Thank you sir
This video topic which I also listened to on your podcast is absolutely spot on credible 1000% wow for me!!!!!!
Harmonising is a beautiful skill, different from people pleasing.
Thank you I’m tired of being what they wanted me to do to or be I didn’t want want there rath or disapproval
He’s doing it to make mom happy because he knows she wants what’s best for him. He trusts that. I’m sure not in all cases but this can also be true.
Thankyou Aaron. Stay blessed ❤️
I dont even know I do it. I had to to survive. I hate what my mother did. I hate how people use me. I give, they never give back. I feel awful when I set a boundary and they fucking run!
It’s the guilt making you think that if you never had set the boundary, then maybe they would’ve stayed but at the same time that guilt also is a good sign that your overriding the program of people pleasing that made others’ needs more important than yours. Allow yourself to feel “awful” aka guilty and through time, you’ll start to feel honored and worthy to set boundaries, make space for your needs and let the wrong people leave! People who get upset when you set boundaries were benefiting from you not having none. Remember that!
I wouldn’t want anyone else’s blood or stem cells exactly for this reason. You blocked me, it’s ok, I understand ❤
Super helpful, thank-you❤
@@ValerieK right? his messages literally ALWAYS arrive at the perfect time ❤️
How did you pack so much into 16:55? There's enough here to spend the remainder of a lifetime working out. I see our shared experiences have us speaking the same language perfectly, and while I may be a decade or so ahead of you on this mysterious trail, you are spiritually an equal distance ahead of me.
My issue is trying to break out. Long story, enough trauma to melt wax. I think I'm trying too hard, I know better as it comes to me or it's of my own doing. I think I see it now, it's the triggers. I have discovered the only way to truly step into yourself to fulfill that purpose that drives you, is to honestly deal with any and all past trauma FIRST. If you are dysregulated by trauma into despair OR, even to great heights if you think you have arrived, you are neighter here nor there. You can't be anywhere but stuck if you are dysregulated by trauma in any form. You are technically in fight or flight, if you don't have access to the logical side of your brain, how could you be in touch with your spirit 'in reality'?
There's the whacky thoughts that spill outta my dome. Thanks for an honest opinion on this subject. You can never bless others if you don't speak up in truth and honesty, but that's not the point either because you have no control once it leaves your mouth. Let it be what it will be. Some things take years to sprout and grow and reproduce.
Awesome video. Right place, right time.
Truth be told 🎉
Thank you. You are good ❤
Thank you Aaron for this powerful sharing 🙏#1
Too many people play games, or punish, or bullying
wow that is a very good question and the answer is probably yes because the history of your ancestors is stored in your dna
It 's one traits of people pleaser. I think words "good/nice people" is retraint for childhood trauma people.
Thank you for everything Aaron!
Much love!
Niiice …. Critical Thinking… stem cell convo 👍🏻
This was a good one keep up the excellence.😊
My whole extended family on my dad's side is completely gone. All Narcissistic and abusers.
This is for me
Thankyou
And I'm guessing that they probably need to hear what we're really thinking, but are afraid to say because we think it would sound mean or we think that we need to go along with whatever they're saying and agree with them
Heyyy,so good topic,Super Surfing, 🌊🌊 ohh,so well thank youuuu❤😅
Thank you❤
$75k biweekly changed my mindset and behavior, my goals, my family and l've to say this video has inspired me a lot!!!!
❤ I love you. ❤ Hope you have a blessed day. XoXo
3 things that ACTUALLY helped me manifest $1000 dollars into my life when I needed it the most
1. Creating a physical vision board with the RIGHT images
2. Reading the book Unleashing Your Dream Reality by Caleb Clarkson twice through
3. Applying the technique from the book called synesthetic visualisation everyday
This look is better sir
Gifting another soul the truth of how you really feel I come to realise provides so much growth
I much prefer and respect authenticity as I wouldn’t want someone to be nice to me, I would want them to be real and only be kind and loving if that’s what’s really felt in the heart.
Best thing ever is to
SPEAK YOUR TRUTH
from your heart
and say exactly how you really feel 100% always 💚💫
Okay but what if my "authentic inner voice" wants to be pretty critical and mean to people. My mum was a narcissist and pretty critical of me, and I think now as a result I have that inside me, whether I inherited it from her, or it's just a part of me, or it's a result of that abuse. I find it really hard to not just snap at people and be mean sometimes. Including my partner and son. I don't, I usually deal with those feelings alone. But I worry my "authentic inner voice" is critical and mean.
Use your “mean” side more. Thats what I did and I realized people respect me more! I thought I was being “mean” and might hurt others feelings but in reality I was being mean to myself and hurting my own feelings by not standing up for myself and saying how I really felt. Once I let go of not needing others approval and validation of seeing me as “nice, good, etc” I stopped caring about what people thought about me and made my perception of myself matter more. People will respect you more because they see you care more about yourself than their perspective about you. At the end of the day there’s a difference between being mean and a a**hole for no reason and setting boundaries and sticking up for yourself because someone it’s disrespecting you. BE “MEAN” and grow past your people pleasing!
Intrusive thoughts yay
I’ve been very removed from getting the validation of others for some time, it’s a daily practice, yet I feel like at some point I’m going to want to please someone, because it almost feels like I’ve become hyper selfish and isolated from others… I’m a dick, accepting myself 🙂
I was a rebel 🤣🤣🤣 the Wilde children 🤣🤣🤣
Do you think moving out from your parents and family can be beneficial to combat this behavior?
But the real me is nice, that’s the issue. When you say be the real you, what do you mean? I’m nice because I feel good when I help someone out, I feel good when I please people. Do I need help?
It depends on the motivation behind your behaviors. If you're seeking to help people so that you gain approval, keep the peace, or for acceptance or praise, that's people pleasing. If you do it purely for altruistic reasons; to improve yourself, to make the world a better place, to help that person or organization to improve, that's not people pleasing. People pleasing is a childhood wound to keep everything safe and secure. If you felt very unsafe in childhood, you are likely to try to keep life in homeostasis by seeking control over your environment. The real trick is understanding that safety exists within you, not externally from you.
Thanks for loosing my cucumbers of my eyes 😂🎉❤
OK fine I'll subscribe
No offence , this is good but everyone says here video the best
Whats the difference between being a people pleaser and just being a kind person?
Ive actually never been nice , helpful and kind, respectful yes .. push over 👎🏼🤷🏻♀️😂 NOT a problem
You are a sage of profound exemplary embodiment and wisdom. . thankyou!; insurmountable gratitude to you Aaron. 💯
Oh. My. Gosh. Rude awakening 🙏
Thank Aaron!!! God bless❤❤❤❤. I really understans what you're saying and I agree. I was allways trying to please my parents cause they didn't get along. I allways felt that my parents are my soulmates and their values should, therefor, be meaningful for me. I see that a child doesn't want to get a degree like the Mother does but when a Mother highly values specifically education I would really respect that at the same time.
Republican and Democrat, mother- father dynamic? I've questioned now for 10 plus years why I need a proxy to represent my interests when we've had a fully functioning internet for 20+ years that provides unlimited information on any subject, so any intelligent citizen can really make their own decisions. The pulic is still asleep when it comes to this dynamic. They are asking to be controlled so they don't have to take responsibility for the situation they're in and look inside themselves. Perhaps this will be a part of the changes to humanity during the 4th turning.
How about mother and father stop pleasing the children ( adults ) ? We the parents are the victoms
Society values people who have degree and if you want to be heard in the world you must have a degree. It actually very important in society and it means you have a status. I do not agree but it sad that society see people with degree on a pedestal. Try to have someone on this pedestal who does wrong to someone who doesn’t. Society will go with the person who has a degree rather than the person who doesn’t. The person who doesn’t has no choice to prove themselves that they are a good person and has to show evidence. But the person with a degree is protected by others and until you have a certain amount of evidence against an individual than and only than will this person with a degree been seen wrongful. So crazy how we put people on pedestals who have a degree.😊
That is funny to think . I assume something bad happend to you so you gain or better say accept that program. People are not black and white. Things in our universe at all levels are not just black and white. We can not judge people because of degree, masters or not having it. We can not judge people by their skin colour , we can not judge people just because they have money. That mindset is what's keeping you poor. That is a fact. We are not our masters or cash on banks we have but what kind of person I , you, we are. I had to comment on this and I am sorry if something bad happend to you but that does not have any thing with you, or even that person. You are choosing to be it. It could be you or anyone else. It could be me. But matter of fact ask yourself and why not me?! There is a lot of toxic , abused people out there with money , with the statuse in upperclass I know causs I work with them but you can not judge book by one page when there is planty more. I don't know what have had happened to you personaly but if you see life as garbage the only thing that you will get is eventualy same garbage that you are throwing out. And this also does not have anything with any one deegree....peace and God bless ya.
Well great point but look at the world now a days. People are having trouble getting jobs if they don’t have a degree. Also this isn’t about race or now a days at all. It’s more about Classism that is so silent in this world but is very much a reality and people don’t want to discuss it. How people suppress other nations and races, genders and even where you come from now is hindering your progress sometimes. Maybe in Your world but have you ever volunteered in shelters because people are loosing there homes and jobs for no reasons. But if you take a bigger look at situations and the bigger pictures you will see very clearly that it has depths to it. There is people who worked very hard and cannot get work for no reason. Why is that? Well maybe being ignorant is a okay but in the real world people are being hinder and it sad that we must seek a degree. But we all have a purpose in this world whether it a housekeeper or a CEO. It shouldn’t matter about where you came from or your family history, race, culture or gender. We all should be judge on our skills and what we bring to the table. But it is unfortunate that yes in our society we are marked why I don’t know but we should stop it for sure and be aware of it. That’s why unity is so important now a days. It sad that there is a bigger picture to the problem and thank you for your opinion but i to have my opinion. As I respectful appreciate your response.
LOOK HOW SUCCESSFUL AARON IS! DO YOU THINK HE HAS A 'DEGREE'? No need to make excuses i.e 'society wants you to have a degree' fuck society! 😂
How many people are like Aaron. Not to many. Well if you don’t like my comment that’s fine. But if you are looking at it on a bigger spectrum than that is reality. Hey, you can definitely build something on your own and it could be amazing and do great or not. But don’t kid yourself. I am sure Aaron puts education his selfs in different ways to get us great content. He even has said all the books he reads and things he try’s and places he goes to learn different aspects. So he is always learning to give us content. The fact is we all must keep learning education is important. Thanks for your reply it always nice to get feedback on any level. 😊
Was that speaker Dr. Bruce Lipton who studies stem cell research?
🙏🏼🌟🙏🏼
Steph Curry has 4 championships
13:24 😮
im a little bit confused if you say helping people and people pleaser are the same and then how can i set myself to service to other?
🌬️🌬️🌬️🌬️
I’m not, any other no people pleaser videos?
What if by not being nice ypu do not build a raport and ruin your relatuonships
Idk bro 7:37 I think athletes need to have a plan B backing them.
True! Many athletes go broke when they don’t have a plan B
He has 3 championships. He’ll have sponsorships until he dies. Everyone has a degree and the majority of them are broke. He can be a coach - sport commentator - sport podcast - selling something.
@@Chloe-hv7xi💯
🎉❤🎉
This video sounds like AI for some reason. Is it sped up or processed?
You can call every people manipulator for sg. I don't agree with this.
Just by the title good grief . People pleasing isn't manipulation . Is a trauma from childhood where caretakers were over critical and it's a response action . That is in psych 101. 💁🏼♀️
Take it as a hint
you're way much more attractive with short hair ( as you used to be )
Kinda ironic posting this on a vid about people pleasing
Generally like your content but you sound a bit to angry for my style. I get you had bad parents but everyone is doing the best they can, have some respect, parent sacrifice a lot to raise their children. Wait till you have children, parent need to raise good humans and that requires doing things that children don’t always like.
Wheweeeee you are defensive talkin about Aaron is the mad one, man I hope he ignores this type of feedback rooted in the persons own ego. that right there is a whole bunch of COPE. 😂 I hear a lot of this talk from sorry ahh parents 🤷♀️
You should not "sacrifice" for them if you weren't ready to have them.
@Thedivinecounsel Also this person's name is Karen 😅
Exactly 🩵 what I’m working on the past few days. Such a cool timing 🎁
Thank you Aaron