My Wife Hid a $60,000 Secret for Two Years
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- Опубліковано 10 чер 2024
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The title made me think she had a hidden 60k in cash somewheres 😂
That's what I was thinking too! I was intrigued then it turned out to be this old sad tale 😔
Always more likely to carry 60K in debt over 60K in cash! 😂😂😂
me being a worst case scenario thinker I knew it was debt
This woman is a world class liar.
He seems to be okay with it since he’s been dealing with it for two yrs rather than being PO-ed from the get go.
Basically she hid it from him so she could be a stay at home mom when they actually couldn’t afford it. She needs to go to work. She’s a real piece of work. This is just the beginning.
Yep, like I said, having a student loan is not something to be ashamed of. It is not something to hide. He would have married her anyway. They just would have put off having kids for maybe a year or two to get it paid off before she could be a stay at home mom. Instead she decided to be sneaky about it. just wrong on so many levels. I have a feeling that she married him to be a meal ticket.
@@jeraldbottcher1588Yeah was she rushing to be a stay at home mom so he would become liable for it? That’s unethical as hell and calls for a divorce to be honest, she must have thought confessing the loan to him would make him push back the wedding and having kids (which he should do in such a case).
She rushed him into things instead of doing things slow and proper, this is a tactic that scammers use and he needs to be wary of her if she is showing a serious lack of integrity and work ethic. She is responsible for her loans and she needs to help pay it off, in fact she needs to pay most of it off. They can garnish her wages, except if she has no money….so as a consequence will they garnish his wages in exchange? 🤔
@@jeraldbottcher1588 I agree. Anna In Ohio
@@TheSoulCrisis2 kids and a morgage so quick into marriage was to tie him up, before the truth came out.
They could afford it prior to having to pay off 60K accruing 10% interest while they sleep.
My ex hid $100k debt to his parents for 17 years and it only came out after I left him and went to court for financial separation. Thankfully the judge realised it was from before we started living together and I wasn’t liable to repay any of it
wow! good for you. that’s nuts
Hold up where you guys just dating?
Goodness!!!
@@gladylagy3565 no we were married
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Whats with folks rushing to have kids when they cant afford them
It’s sad that’s even a question. Bt i agree it’s a luxury to have kids right now. That’s why I’m 31 and no kids yet.
Congratulations, *DaleValskov* I am relieved that you are out there fighting these thugs, We musttake every precaution to protect the elderly and the general public from these despicable con artists. Congratulations to You!! You deserve the Nobel Peace Prize for ensuring our security.
Don't kid yourself, she ain't gonna get a job and clean up her mess, that's what she's got YOU for 😂
That's what marriage is for! Once you give a woman kids and you're married the chase is over.
This marriage is basically a fraud. Don’t think the state will care though since there are now children involved
He was her bailout plan all along. And he will have to pay child support and alimony if they end up divorcing, plus lose half his assets. Pretty nice deal for her.
LMAO
@@alberttang6955 alimony is not a thing anymore, and she didn’t have those kids by herself 🙄
I will be forever grateful to you, you changed my entire life and I will continue to preach on your behalf for the whole world to hear you saved me from huge financial debt with just a small investment, thank you *DaleValskov*
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She’s proven to be liar and trust is lost. I bet also recommend him to get a paternity test as well just in case.
🎯
Lol nah the kids are his
Simping is expensive these days 😂
That is a ton of debt to just "forget" to mention and then think she can just pay for it out of his income without telling him. Outrageous.
She needs to go back to work and help pay this down. She lied by omission. I wouldn't trust her again.
A $1400 mortgage payment is more than a $1500 rent payment. The mortgage has taxes, insurance, repairs, replacements of things. When the roof,A/C, etc need replacing it will be much more than the $100 difference.
A new roof makes the house worth more as well as a new AC.
With a mortgage you get your money back if you move on after a time of equity growth.
Yea but you have equity build up through appreciation and loan pay down plus tax advantages. Rent goes up every year. They absolutely made a good decision to buy instead of rent
Home insurance and property tax are often included in the mortgage payment. Repairs and maintenance are more of a time suck than a money suck.
@@tomdixon1213 You currently have a 10-14 year wait to break even buying vs renting. If you're not sure you're staying for a decade, you rent in the current market.
$60k @ 10% with a $550 a month payment will take almost 25 years to pay off. Paying a total of $160k. That woman better get a job or two!
Damn ….when you put it like that…..better him then me 😂
The bigger question is it really for a student loan. Did you see the papers?
Exactly, unless you see the evidence he can’t believe anything she says
These calls always make me grateful I'm single and don't settle for bums making stupid financial decisions. That word "love" sure can be expensive!!
I couldn’t agree with you more !! Well said !!! 😊
2nd kid? If you are lied to and already have 1 kid on the way, I can see that. But to keep moving forward and have another kid with her - I question his decision-making there and with the house purchase. This is insane. Just because you are married doesn't mean you can't practice caution and ask what-if questions before buying a house, consider how things have gone trust-wise up to that point.
Not only did she hide a massive loan from you, she is now getting you to pay it off and also wont help you out at all while you're financially going under. You've got yourself a winner there.
Every word out of the caller's mouth points to: Sell the house, divorce the wife who lied - the kids are an issue though. His whole life is built on lies. 😂😂😂
And the losing gets even worse for him if they end up divorcing a few years down the road.
I hope he asked his wife if there was anything else she needed to tell him.
Maybe a paternity test just to be sure.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 I was thinking the exact same thing!!!!
@@alberttang6955 The way things are heading he won't have anything to lose a few years down the road.
She can babysit two more children to earn 500 a week and use it to pay the loan.
It’s all up to his wife.
It might feel like work to her.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 Oh no, not work!
Or just work when dad is home even if it just part time. She can work a couple of nights a week and one weekend and bring in some extra $ to help tackle that loan.
Debt doesn't seem to bother a lot of people... She could just be one of those people
As a woman this disgusts me. She needs to get a job, pay her loans, and let the damn husband stay home with the kids!!
As a trans woman, comments like yours disgust me. This comment section is filled with misogynistic hate speech and here you are, a woman, joining the males in their vitriol. Have some self respect.
I have a secret dream to become a billionaire one day and my spouse doesn’t know that secret
Caller is kind of a space cadet.
Exactly Jeff Spicolli
She spent $60,000 on a degree to be a stay-at-home mom.
Felt they were really putting words into his mouth with this one.
He called up, wanting financial advice on how to tackle this and whether his wife should go back to work to clear this quicker.
They then came out with the “emotional aspect”, “financial infidelity” etc etc.
The guy never mentioned the emotional side once. Just wanted to know how to tackle this math problem.
John loves to judge a complex situation with 15 seconds of information. It is so irresponsible as a doctor to character assassinate people within 30 seconds of a phone call and definitively speak on something he could not possibly have all the facts on. I always regret clinking on his videos. He is always negative and, frankly, unprofessional. He comes across as a preachy, holier than thou and quick to jump to conclusions - there is no nuance or critical thinking - just quick judgement.
@@mrscmeier9570 Hello, if she would lie about 60K in student loans she will easily hide credit cards, and spend massive amounts. That is why they had to bring up the emotional side and the trust issues.
How in the H can you be married to someone for 3 years and not know there was debt? Just where did you think the money was going???
Mother in law can babysit the kids while her partner works to pay off?
Mother in law probably still works full time and isn’t available to watch kids during the day
Also it’s not he mother in law’s responsibility to watch the kid all day.
@@arthrodea True but daughter and her on the loan and she may be willing to assist.
She lied and hid 60 thousand dollars of debt. I think he wants to believe it was not intentional. It probably was, because he seems to be a lot more worried about their finances.
I clicked thinking she had saved 60k without him knowing
Student loans have killed marriage for younger generations. I feel like we have to enter relationships automatically on defense because so many are starting off with large debts.
Don’t sign the loan application. Ez.
I’m a high school dropout. I paid for my daughters college and now she has a masters degree and no student loans
That’s true. My partner and I are taking care of our debts before we even start our relationship. We don’t want to begin our marriage being drowned by the anchor of debt.
My sister and I shared a room till we were 12 and 10. My parents grew up with even more siblings sharing a bedroom, lol. We all survived
A guy I worked with was a farmers son. A farmers son with 11 siblings. I don't think he knew what a room to ones self was until we was in his 20s.
This was her want. Women know they can manipulate guys into paying for everything. Everything. Women are not worth the gamble. If he leaves her, he still pays for everything.
It seems to be a growing belief that it's not just nice for kids to have their own rooms, but a necessity. Private space is nice, but why does that have to be a bedroom (at least if theyre the same gender)?
Too many men are just walking ATM’s for women these days
If the mortgage payment is the same as rent how can they not afford the house? I’m confused.
property tax + maintenance cost is not included in the morgage payment and it will be nice amount of money
Tax is probably a couple hundred a month, plus insurance, another couple hundred, plus repairs of a few thousand a year. The payment ends up being closer to 2200 after all those.
Rent is the most you can pay. A mortgage is the least. There are a lot of hidden costs in a house
Why do people say that "then there's tax and insurance," just to be put out a negative attitude? I don't know what loan servicer you're using, but the overwhelming majority of mortgage payments INCLUDE the tax and insurance in the number you're paying in escrow. So yes, his $1400 mortgage payment almost certainly includes insurance and taxes. If you think or want to argue otherwise, that burden of proof is on YOU to prove before just saying it. I've had a total of 4 mortgage servicers through refinances or the lender selling the mortgage, and not once has it even come up to not escrow those costs.
So, them buying the house was not a terrible decision. If you're going to argue that taxes and insurance could go up, then that means they're going up for landlords too. Do you really think landlords would just eat that cost and not raise the rent of the tenants?
@@DarrellVanMeter they're only included with FHA loans. Traditional doesn't usually include those in the loan.
These guys are seriously putting words into the caller's mouth. If he's not feeling furious and betrayed, why try to make him?
Would a couple of paternity tests be out of the question?
Also childcare for two kids could be more or equal to what she can bring in from work
no lol. use the grandma or the aunt cheaper
She could babysit other people's children, that way she wouldn't need any childcare for her own kids. Depending on how busy she managed to make herself with looking after children and how much she negotiated to be paid for it she could make enough to pay off the loan in 2 years, maybe 3.
Also, depending on what the degree is for she could get a stay at home job with it. If it's more of a hands on job then obviously she can't do that, but she can probably find another way to monetize that education.
@@sanityssakearts1416 ya 5 kids brings in 500-1k a month per each kid or charge 150 per day something cheap or get licensed and charge a lot more.
As long as she makes more than $14/hr, she will be bringing in more than what childcare costs. She needs to use her degree, make $30/hr and go back to work for 2-3 years until this debt is paid off. That’s about how long it would take her if her paycheck went to daycare & the student loan debt.
@@mle011 Lol, childcare for 2 kids is $14/hr? I know most of Daves listeners live in flyover country, but that's $3k+/mo here...more like $30/gr gross pay to break even on that.
Dating sites should give you credit checks and financial profiles.
He didn’t see this in the monthly budget?
Many men don’t look at the budget in traditional marriages. Usually the woman handles most of the money because she pays the bills and calls the handyman
Poor guy got played
Child care is outrageously expensive
This woman lied and then trapped this man. Despicable.
Why do people do this, I see it a lot more in women than men. Go to college and get some worthless degree if any, rack up debt to just stay home. 🥺🔫
I see it a lot more in men. My ex husband constantly hid debt, shopping addiction etc.
To be honest I really really underestimated how much work having kids is I thought it would be easy to manage both but the reality isn’t. I’m lucky because my husband was a stay at home dad for a year because that was important to him so I never get the “what have you even done today “ but I got to say 90% of the time I’m very jealous of how little he has to do in his work day. And yes I would consider my Batchelor degree of Economics worthless, the only time it’s paid off is in understanding what’s going on and timing our investments.
Amen. Preach it loudly. You go to college for years, rack up huge debts, then plan to stay at home. Just find a sucker to marry and pay it off. Bet her mom said "Youz Married Now" let your husband pay it off. She' your responsibility now.
He's screwed. Unless she can make enough to cover daycare and the student loan with her paycheck alone, it's a no go.
they will do anything to replace daddy with a husband
Imagine going 60k in debt for a degree you have no intention of using, hiding that debt from your husband and making no efforts at all to help pay for it. In what world is that a good wife?
Nothing was hidden. You cannot tell me that he did not know about it when they took out a mortgage?
To tradcon simps, any wife is a good wife because they view a man as worthless unless he's chasing after a woman.
That's the modern woman.
@@jimmymcgill6778 If she has no income, she's not on the mortgage. He can get one by himself.
I doubt she had no intention of using. Likely when she was 18-20 years old, in college, thinking she’d have a career. Then babies come and that changes everything. This lady needs to work and grandparents need to provide free daycare to help this out
Wife needs to work. Good mortgage payment
I don’t feel she hid it or lied to him. They just combined finances and she didn’t think about it. She just rolled it into what already happening. The issue is he never asked her if she had debt. He just assumed she didn’t. So this is on both of them. That being said, she really does need to contribute to the finances. If she cannot find a job that covers her loan plus child care she at least needs to babysit or do something part time during hours that he is home so they don’t have to pay for child care.
It's called lying by omission. "She" had to setup the auto debit from "their" bank account. so she absolutely didn't forget she had the debt. He discovered it at the bank and questioned the auto debits.
She should find an at home job to do to pay for the student loans.
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....
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celia dullpher. understanding of market indicators is impressive. She knows exactly when to enter and exit trades for maximum profit. her siignals are top notch...
These guys are ridiculous criticizing buying the home. The mortgage is less than rent, and they are gaining equity. Rent goes up every year, their mortgage won’t. These guys are way off criticizing him for owning the home. Stupid.
It’s not. Property taxes and mortgage insurance are extra monthly expenses. Houses always have phantom costs. And he’s on a variable rate that went up to 10%. So he’s already paying more
Caller is a simp. Enjoy paying that student loan. Simpin ain’t easy bruh
I think he was just clueless.
Was I just distracted or did they not ask his career/income? I feel like that’s a super important part of the equation in determining whether their budget is out of wack. Also, I get what the wife did was screwed up but he found out two years ago, so not sure it makes sense to come out guns blazing now. That should have been a discussion two years ago. They really seemed to breeze over a lot of important points.
Also worth asking what the wife’s degree/career was. Depending on her earning potential it might financially make more sense to have her stay home with the kids than pay for day care.
Hope he signed a prenuptial agreement before marrying her.
we already know the answer to this. This man has no backbone even if his life depended on it
I don’t understand why she was hiding it….did she think it would just go away? Did she think he would be upset over her student loan? What’s the motive?
Yeah, I mean really. What did she think was going to happen. A student loan is not something to be ashamed of, Did she think he would dump her or something?
Fat people avoid looking at the scale cos they just don't want to see the number. Same concept.
She definitely withheld the info and lied by omission. "Proof" The caller said that it wasn't until they went to the bank that he saw the $500 auto debits. She had to have setup the autopay using "Their" banking information. He just wasn't checking the accounts and didn't notice the 500 withdrawals. Nasty Work. He's on the hook whether or not he stays or goes.
A $1,400 mortgage is not LESS then $1,500 rent. You've left off the cost of insurance, repairs, etc.,
Mortgage is more expensive than rent. A mortgage just nickels and dimes you instead of one amount. Kinda like states with no income tax who still get their money and then some.
It probably is after you factor in appreciation.
@@BrianW211 LOL. That's how they justify the bad decision. It means nothing, appreciation is not cash. Cash is king and when you can't pay the mortgage and you have to sell, you're not going to see a lot of appreciation, especially after you factor in realtor fees.
A mortgage payment includes insurance and taxes. Repairs are separate but he should have a home warranty if he was smart.
@@whosaidthat9265 not always. my mortgage payment does not include any insurance or taxes.
How could she think it would be ok for her.. or even possible to be a stay at home mom when she had such a dept ? She just dumped over her crap on the husband and expected him to manage it all? There is no reason to be a stay at home mom with just one kid.
6:44 It was definitely intentional. She knew damn well she should’ve told him about those loans
Thanks for your import UA-cam keyboard warrior.
@@miketheyunggod2534 you feel better now?
@@miketheyunggod2534if that’s a keyboard warrior to you , your one of the dumbest person I’ve seen
She didn't necessarily lie to him. It sounds like they were not combined before, and when they did combine, he found out about the debt.
I don't understand the stay in an apartment thing. With a mortgage, you get to build up equity and you get to "lock in" your monthly payments (rent will go up a lot faster than taxes & insurance)
But owning a house comes with way more than that. Anything breaks and you fix it. Even if taxes don’t go up you have to pay to keep the place up.
Better make sure those kids are yours too buddy.
hopefully i can remember to myself to check a woman credit before I get her pregnant bc ill d*mned if I deal with $60k of debt that's not mine
"Just bought a house because it was cheaper to do so than renting."
You guys are just awesome with tackling the real problems here...its not the money but the anger and resentment he is hiding. In my country Uganda 60,000usd is the annual budget of a local council. That's a lot of money. He better forget the money and start rebuilding his marriage. That's a huge sign of how the wife doesn't respect or even love her husband.
It’s almost like these guys are in the business of ending marriages
It’s possible she hid it but I’m at minute 1:41 when he’s being told she lied and the caller has not said that . We have no idea if these people were having financial meetings and such or asking about each others debt . I know couples that don’t even know each others income.
I’m not recommending that but maybe you all should ask some more questions first .
See - now we are at 6:46 and the caller is saying they hadn’t even discussed the debt before . This is why you ask questions . It doesn’t change that she needs to go back to work but it does call into question all this financial infidelity schtick they wanted to paste onto this situation .
I just hate how John brings gloom & doom. He can afford this house- it's $100 cheaper than the rent he was paying. He wants to open up wounds & this happened 2 years ago & they have moved on facing that debt. Give the guy a break- he entered a marriage with a lie & he's dealing with it- give him some grace!
John 100% right on this one. They can’t afford the house. Taxes and mortgage insurance are extra monthly expenses plus phantom costs. Also said his variable rate went up from 2-10%. And the dude is trying to deal with these problems without dealing with actual problem. You can tell he never actually confronted his wife about lying. And until he does his wife is gonna continue living a false reality and he will continue dealing with the consequences and live in misery.
The husband clearly doesn't care she lied about it so why push it, it's his prerogative and what he has to live with.
It is obvious he is a whipped simp.
Exactly John told the caller he didn’t trust his wife like 5 times for no reason
Of course he cares, how could he not care about such a massive deception? He just doesn't sound visibly upset cos it happened 2 years ago so it's in the past.
How did he not know this? Did he know she got a degree? What is really happening here?
The caller is deluding himself about his own wife.
I think deep down he knows he's screwed.
The alternative is having to destroy the life he’s built. He’s not right but I can’t blame him
@@Diashi1267 No, the alternative is to confront her and ask her to go to couples therapy. That’s how true healing begins, not deluding himself about what’s going on and hoping for the best.
This is a big deal… she needs to get her ass back to work! Work during the day, deliver pizzas at night as Dave would say if this were the husband who hid the debt.
It's amazing what you do *DaleValskov* We need a lot of people with your skills and set who have good intentions and spread love
Did she finish college?? If so, what was her degree in?? Wish they would of asked him.
This is just the beginning
Dude needs to keep an eye out on his credit, because if she will lie about this kind of stuff then she will lie about spending 25K on fancy designer clothes. "What this old thing?" Code for I bought it and hid from you and have no plans on telling you how much I spent on it.
Integrity and kindness are the most important qualities in a partner. She has shown neither.
was it intentional? hahaha
His wife is a deadbeat. He really messed up.
He needs to seriously think about divorce now because it’s just gonna get harder every year.
It’s hilarious that he thinks owning a home is cheaper than renting 😅😅
What would happen if it were the guy that did this ??!! People would blame the guy and criticize him !! She needs to get a job and help pay off HER debt !! No excuses !! She is just lazy and wants HIM to support her and pay off HER DEBT !!!
Divorce. Cut your losses if she doesn't want to change.
Yeah but then he has to see his kids only half the time, face alimony and child support, and as the higher income earner be responsible for thousands in lawyer fees.
@@arthrodea Is that worse than what's going to be in store if he stays? Could be 50 years or longer until one of them dies.
Nah, get into church, get SAVED, and turn your life around. Way easier.
@@John3.36 Right, the little man in the sky will make the loan payment. LOL
@@OtisFlint Make peace with God, or be broke and bitter for life, making divorce payments. Simple as that.
People forget that marriage is also a legal agreement and you are liable for your partner's debts. I want to know why she did not tell him and whether he can trust her moving forwards.
Student loans belongs to her. She took out the loans before marriage.
She landed a fish with a wallet. She’s a con artist, plain and simple good luck bro 😂
Had a "kid," then a second "kid" sounds very cold. Are they your littles and your babies? Are you a Dad?
These people are so disconnected from each other.
There's a Lot missing from this equation.
She incurred the debt before they were married, so the husband should not even be liable?
This guy's a pushover!! Stop being a wimp!!
Why is he wearing a different shirt in the clip
The guy is asking for financial advice, not the emotional aspect of the problem. That's not why he called. I hope they can get their act together and actually help people instead of veering off topic.
“Why did you buy that house even if it’s cheaper than rent” well cause it’s cheaper is it that hard to understand
It's not cheaper. The mortgage is cheaper, which i actually doubt to begin with.
I'd be divorced so fast. Not because of the debt, but because of the lying
$100 more for a mortgage than rent? Smart move! What the heck is John talking about!?
my dude is lost
If you are not in the financial market space right now, you are making a huge mistake. I understand that it could be due to ignorance, but if you want to make your money work for you... prevent inflation
Do any alpha male ever call this show? This couple will drown in debt like many other American couples. This is the first time ive see John give alpha advice and told this beta the reality of his situation. Simpin aint easy
I don't think he was simping, he was just a clueless chump that got taken advantage of.
One reason she may not have told him, was that student loans seem to be so normalised in the US, that for many, it is assumed everyone has one?
Regardless though, when talking about budget matters, that should have been laid on the table.
No. As someone who has gone through something similar - my ex-wife lied by minimizing the total amount of student loan debt. She hid the largest loan, and then when going through monthly payments and trying to figure out where the money was going suddenly she had to spill the beans. Her reason? "I thought you wouldn't want to marry me" We had gone through pre-marital counseling group classes where budgeting required us to list out all debts in one of the classes, so all of this wasn't something that was just forgotten. The 1 year marks seems to be about as long as someone can deceive. The problem is that when someone lies because they are afraid of the consequences like a kid, then this isn't just financial. The caller's wife will cheat on him both financially again and physically.
@@donaldjohnson-ow3kq Sure, in your situation probably deliberate. I was just proposing that PERHAPS it may not have been a deliberate deception. By the same token, it sure could have been. Your own experience is not necessarily universal to everyone. When you are making it out that this has to be deliberate, is the kind of attitude we see on these threads like "all women are liars, cheats, irresponsible, etc". Some can be just clueless, not deliberately malicious. Plenty of men are irresponsible and or liars, but I do not paint out all men to be the same, even though my ex-husband was one.
@@davinasquirrel7672 couldn't agree more. It could be that student loan debt was so normalized to her. Not disclosing it after so many years together and married is beyond odd to me, like how did this not come up in any conversation?? But to think she was malicious and their marriage is a dumpster fire may not at all be accurate.
That said, she needs to be responsible and get a job until they reach their financial goals. Not just the $60k debt but 6 months of savings now that they own a home!
@@juliapush8296 Agreed.
This is very bad, what she must do is put that child in day care and go get a job again. Then focus all her paycheck on paying that debt (all on her own this will be a valuable lesson), she should even be grateful her husband can afford to take care of her , himself and their kid.
So all her money should go to the debt and i am sure in less than 2yrs she can pay it all off. And then they must definitely go for marriage counselling and work as a team whenever it comes to the issue of money.
2 incomes are always better than one.
Divorce her.
Every word out of the caller's mouth points to: Sell the house, divorce the wife who lied - the kids are an issue though. His whole life is built on lies. 😂😂😂
@@stevenporter863 She holds all the power because she knows how divorce court works in the US.
@@cur244 Exactly. She spends what she wants, then gets at least 50% of what is left over. For him: heads she wins, tails he loses.
I honestly don't understand why you're discussing these dubious schemes. There are plenty of options like Eledator and similar ones that are fast and profitable.
she needs to get a job asap doing whatever it takes, even if it's stocking shelves at the supermarket after her husband comes home from work to take over the childcare or waitressing. 60k debt with 10% interest is insane, how could she lie about something like this, surely there are other things she is lying about.
great call and response. John saw through the man's situation