I think self-help books are useful when you want to solve a specific problem. On the other hand, if you want to know more about yourself and the world, books on philosophy, psychology (no pop psychology) and novels are definitely better.
@@sugarhoneyicedtea-1692 Probably most philosophy books can seem boring because many authors assume that you already have a background on other philosophers of the past. Personally, I really like the books on Stoicism because they are very practical, for example: Marcus Aurielius, Seneca, and Epictetus. Also, I really like Camus, he also writes fictions that are based on the philosophical themes he discusses in his essays.
I had a wry smile on my face when you said about how these books are over-written, as I made this observation to my brother about some non-fiction books last year, after I realised I was often giving up on them about 1/3 of the way in. Forward - Why I wrote this book Chapter 1 - What is covered in this book Chapter 2 - Why you should read this book Chapter 3 - How to read this book and get the best out of it Chapter 4 - What this book can't cover Chapter 5 - The actual book Chapter 6 - How to apply what we learned in chapter 5 Chapter 7 - More examples, worded slightly differently to make a new chapter Chapter 8 - What other people have gained from what this book covers Chapter 9 - Futures bits worth exploring. Chapter 10 - Why you should read the examples in the last two chapters and what you can learn from them Chapter 11 - Afterword - What I hope you got from this book, and let me know if should write another chapter...oops, sorry, book.
Yes!!! With so many of them it feels like people who are just trying to make money so they write (badly) about the same stuff that everyone else has written about but with a new "catchy" spin or cover. As if THIS is the book that's going to change your life. Then you (well, me) start studying psychology and you realize who all their sources are and you wish that the shelves were empty except for those few quality books that are actually worth reading in the first place. Instead of having to filter through piles of dung first to find the "classics" that are actually helpful.
I used to think I had an attention span problem because I couldn't finish certain books and would rather turn to short UA-cam videos to help with my problems. Then I realized the same thing you did!
How to Win Friends and Influence People was one of the first self-help books I read. As an introvert, I've always found it very, very difficult to make new friends and build meaningful relationships. Looking back, I think most of the book is really useless. But back then, right after reading it, it felt like I had acquired a superpower to make friends and it made me act. I started to interact more with people, I started looking them in the eye. I felt much safer and in the end, it really worked for me. The point is, what I needed was the confidence this book gave me to try, make mistakes, learn from my mistakes, and desensitize myself to the process rather than its content.
Social skills are incredibly important so anything that can help you with them is a good thing. Also we live in a world for extroverts, lots of people are faking it.
I think it's kind of funny that most people think that social skills are just things that we learn without having to actually learn them. That book is good to tell you how to deal with people. I think those skills are important
In general, self-help books are there as a 'guide' or helping hand. Too often readers will take it as gospel and hope for a miracle cure. Without self-action, the teachings are not going to bring about positive change. Take what you can, understand the theory and implement what is important to you.
1. Problems of bad self-help books. - Too over written - Suspicious Science - Dishonest - Toxic Positivity 2. Good Self-help books. - Attached : Love - Rip it up: Actions - > Feeling - A New Earth : A sense of immediate peace. Perspective. Inner world. - The courage to be disliked. - Personality isn't permanent: No matter who u are, you will be changing.
“The Use and Misuse of Language” by SI Hayakawa. Changed how I view everything and led me down the rabbit hole of general semantics. The subject that has taught me HOW to think the most rather than what to think.
You nailed this video. I absolutely feel the same, specially in the Suspicious Science and Dishonest sections of the video. Nowadays people use Science the same way God was used in the Middle Ages: as a fanatic way of possessing the truth.
I used to hate self-help books, until recently. I came across the book How to slow down in a world that is continually gathering speed, written by Yvonne Mol. It helped to get my priorities straight and to enjoy life a bit more.
That reminds me of a book I read years ago by Marshall J. Cook, entitled 'Slow Down... and Get More Done.' I remember it being very helpful at the time.
Lately watched her movie on Netflix. Really good stuff. She's great example that vulnerability is not a weakness, it's a superpower. It requires courage. It changes people's lives and help them heal.
I can’t put into words how much I enjoyed your insights in this video. This is giving me the push to finally read Personality isn’t Permanent & The Courage to be Disliked. How passionately you spoke in this really just lifted my mood 🤓
The problem with self help books is that people never actually apply anything that's written in them and then wonder why they have read 20 self help books without improving on anything. speaking from experience xd
The problem with that is, that people read self help after self help book without stopping. I read a self help book, I then think about what I read, and I journal through it and then I make a point of using what I read in my day to day conversations and relationships with people. I would highly suggest to people to read a book, and then re-read it and journal with it. That way you get all that you need out of a book. I'm doing so much better with my attachments and my boundaries thanks to taking my time digesting information.
I don't know, I was going through a really screwed up. In my life when I was paralyzed and couldn't do anything and I was desperately reading self help books on the topic and following the steps religiously, or getting annoyed by and skimming past all the filler about how useful the methods were, and a lot of it was either useless, or in some cases had unintended detrimental effects that far outweighed any benefit
If you have read a self help book, then you have read all of them. The point of reading more isn't to learn to information but to provide positive input in your life. It's a sort of effort that you do to feel that you are moving uphill. It's not about reading the books, it's about becoming a reader and feeling that ever so slowly shift your perspective to the right things
1 the courage to be disliked was a book I really really needed. Thank you you mentioning it. 2. "How to speak so kids will listen and how to listen to kids will speak" is an INCREDIBLE book for all ages and all status whether you are interested in being a parent or just want to communicate better in everyday life with other adults. It was a book that really changed me and my understanding of how others need to be understood
I agree that a lot of self-help books are repetitive and contain unnecessary detail. For this reason I love reading the free previews of ebooks - most of the main points are outlined in the introduction and/or first chapter, and I don't have to pay for it nor make the commitment to another book I probably won't finish anyway. Love your channel by the way.
My favorite response to Attached is Polysecure, as it expands upon it to allow space for attachment to multiple partners and, more importantly, provides a path to adjusting your own attachment style.
Agreed! All of these self help books almost never offer any practical advice and just keep us looping around in pretty phrases. But i did enjoy Atomic Habits.
I have had books by Dr Russ Harris recommended to me by my psychiatrist. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is very easy to follow and is values based, and The Happiness Trap definitely combats the toxic positivity. Also Brene Brown's "Atlas of the Heart" is really good for improving language around emotions.
Books that helped me the most: The Body Keeps The Score, Internal Family Systems 2nd Edition, No Bad Parts, Transcending Trauma and Altogether You. Just picked up Happy Days by Gabby Bernstein (wasn't interested in her previous titles but this one got my attention). Also: just watched a movie: Wisdom of Trauma by Gabor Mate - eye opener imo. All in all, best thing that's been helping me is therapy within IFS model. It's difficult, intense, but I am starting to feel more like myself. Main advice from me: whatever you're going through right now, try to find a root cause of the problem. Self help books, cold showers, productivity, self improvement/self development, spirituality, etc are all good as long as you're not using them to bypass unresolved emotions. From many years of struggle I arrived at a conclusion that only way to get better is take a difficult path and face your emotions, take care of them with love and compassion. Even psychedelics won't solve your problems if you don't seek therapy and don't integrate your experience (tried them personally, helped me massively to kick start my healing journey, showed me my trauma very clearly (I was so convinced I didn't have trauma in the first place beforehand) - probably hardest experience of my life tbh. However, don't have a need to use them anymore. Got directions, now it's time to start the journey). In other words don't start with self help, self improvement/development. Start with Self discovery (if you find it difficult to find your Self it's a sign that something is blocking it, something wants your attention, something want your love - usually it's a trauma): there you will find all the answers. End note: some of you might be thinking no way I carry trauma or: trauma is when someone experience domestic violence, grew up with alcoholic parents or experienced sexual abuse. You think: I didn't have any of that so it doesn't apply to me - right ? Wrong: trauma can be being lost in a supermarket as kid and your parent yelling at you that it's your fault it happened instead of giving you support at that moment. Or someone might develop trauma despite having "everything" nice house, clothes, parents that were loving each other, working hard to provide but not giving enough attention to a child, not having a connection with the child. "Your conflicts, all the difficult things, the problematic situations in your life are not chance or haphazard. They are actually yours. They are specifically yours, designed specifically for you by a part of you that loves you more than anything else. The part of you that loves you more than anything else has created roadblocks to lead you to yourself. You are not going in the right direction unless there is something pricking you in the side, telling you, “Look here! This way!” That part of you loves you so much that it doesn’t want you to lose the chance. It will go to extreme measures to wake you up, it will make you suffer greatly if you don’t listen. What else can it do? That is its purpose." A.H. Almaas
All of the books you’ve listed are the ones I have found helpful as well. I was wondering if you could provide me with an update and more complete list of the books you have found useful. Would love an update on your personal journey as well if you feel like sharing.
Your channel has been my "self-help" haha. It's so nice to see someone on UA-cam that I can relate to on so many levels and get so much advice from on varied topics. Thanks for being around! (also, love seeing someone who looks like a beauty influencer but is all about mind)
When we are looking for answers in life about anything... we need guidance. Yes, the info might not apply but at least it opens the door to a few basic ideas that guide us to the answers we seek.
I look forward to your more and more daring titles 😅Self-help books are not what they used to be, sigh. Toxic positivity is the worst!😤On the other hand, I totally agree that self-help books are good at giving you language to help you better express yourself in detail. Enjoyed your insights on this, Liz!
Listening to Eckhart Tolle's Books was a Game Changer for me. I came from a place of dark thoughts, stumbled over Eckhart Tolle's Books and finally was able to navigate out of that inner mess.
I hate the term “toxic positivity”. I’ve been told that my abstaining from drinking was “toxic positivity” and that carefully disciplining my life and building myself up was something “ridiculous” that “nobody does”. I’ve been judged for it. So I just want to say, investing in yourself and making better decisions and adjustments in your life for the long term isn't “toxic positivity”. Not sure how most people use that term, but I wanted to clarify.
How the f is not drinking "toxic positivity"? I'm sorry you don't have people on your side. This is literally one of the best things you can do for yourself.
I'd recommend "The Obstacle is the way" by Ryan Holliday, "The Compound Effect" by Darren Hardy, "Switch" by Dan and Chip Heath, and any book by Jordan Peterson.
"Whole again" helped me realise should cut through the BS of productivity, self help, and all other distracting stuff, to just take a break and look inside and see what my pain is, what i truly want, and not keep myself bust mindlessly.
Oh, and the concept of the last book is basically my life motto. Nobody will ever convince me that I can't change, wtf?! 💙 I truly support that line of thinking. Specially when it comes to Psychology, it's so nice to get in touch with that instead of "personality tests" and stuff that tend to put you in a box. That can be used for good but also be an anxiety trap. Thanks, Gal. great video 🥰
that’s another thing I don’t get n don’t wanna get and that’s the persona tests.. personality if referring to aspects of ego we use daily in daily transactions of whatever type but tits the being we are trying to really get to know..
You really nailed it. That’s exactly why I first research the author. Maybe that’s a very German thing to do, but I don’t take advice from someone who just doesn’t have any reference. Which leads to me only reading books written by researchers or philosophers. Like Daring Greatly by Brené Brown or The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor etc. They are leading you through their research and at the same time give you strategies on what and how you could implement some of them into your own life.
I will say one thing about self-help books might feel boring to read but they are not overwritten or filled with pop psychological stuff. They are really helpful to me. At the start, I felt it'll be boring but as I started to read and when I started to apply the principles of those books I feel those changes in myself I become better at myself. But I do not completely disagree with your points Liz may be some books were overhyped but there are options available too and the books that you recommended I will read. Thanks for sharing valuable tips with us.🤗
“I feel so disrespected as the reader “ lol awesome Elizabeth. I rarely think that way but maybe I should. Usually when I feel I’m not being entertained or benefiting from what I’m reading I just put the book down. I’ve gotten rid of that bad practice recently as I’ve learned sometimes you have to digest everything just to get that single grain of knowledge that’s hidden in the many words of the author. It is interesting how you look at books by also analyzing its worth as a literature piece. I admit, I most likely have to step up my game as a reader and hearing your thoughts as a reader is a wonderful way to learn .. in my case how I should feel sometimes when reading a blog that’s a book ! Lol. Shakes fist in the air .. but I aim to improve “sigh”. Thank you for your candor. 🙂
This lands for me, I find almost all self help books are guilty of telling analogous stories beyond delivering the actionable insight to the point where I’m convinced I’m wasting my time by reading.
I find self help books often make me feel like crap, and also the writer just makes me angry. I get both are emotional responses, but it’s honestly what happens. Thanks for your suggestions, I’m always open to looking at things in a different way!
i have read only one self help book in my life and that is "The rudest book ever -shwetabh gangwar" and it's exactly on point with the "how to think" it straight up teaches that you are a complex being and that you need to stop seeing yourself from the eyes of others. It's practical and despises toxic positivity and embraces critical thinking. 9.5/10
Thinking fast and slow by Daniel Kahneman isn't exactly self-help but it throws a lot of insight into several areas that you can apply to yourself. It helps that Kahneman is very knowledgeable and his writing is succinct -- I mean it has to be given that the guy has a nobel prize in econ lmao.
As a guy who basically read a lot of self improvement books (And I mean A LOOOT), I can say that your ways thinking is somewhat right (Especially the part where the person is mostly taking about themselves.) With that being said, there are actually pretty good self improvement books out there that actually help (Charisma Myth, The way of a superior man, The magic of the thinking big and obviously the GOAT How to win friends and Influence People). But most of the help comes from philosophical books in my opinion (Like meditation is still one of the best, and recently the untethered soul). These books actually give you what you expect from a good book. They will always be a re-read!
Thank you for this. I've added these books, and some from the comments, to my reading list. I'd like to recommend "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck, and "How Not to Be Wrong" by Jordan Ellenberg. Not exactly self-help books, but far more helpful than most self-help books out there.
Another point , lot of books teach opposite lessons like one book will tell you to enjoy life in the moment , while there's another that will tell you to go ahead , hustle every second ,etc ( also ,never jumped on a video so fast , please pick such topics more often )
Hi I really liked the ending “fellow nerd” hehe it made me delighted to know that there are so many of us in the world , not just myself 😇 absolutely love your content and I know that my time invested in watching your videos have a really high ROI. Keep up the good work. Lots of love ❤️ 💗
I wanted to thank you for recommending "The Courage to be Disliked". I thought that I might want to give it as an upcoming birthday gift, so I'm listening to the audiobook to see if my friend would like it. Still not sure -- because, like you said, I don't "like" 'the way it's written' either -- but it really does contain a lot of value if you just ignore the awkwardness 😄. So far, the most revelatory idea has been the transition from the popular definition of 'having a' (inferiority/superiority) "complex" to the 'speaks another language'/medical understanding of '(concept) simple' and '(concept) complex' which is a lot less intimidating. And, though it is awkward, I do appreciate that the book succeeds fairly well at bridging the gap and helps bring "popular (mis) understanding" of these issues somewhat closer to a scientific/medical understanding in a way that persons not trained in these disciplines can rebuild their basis and proceed with a more secure foundation. I'm enjoying a lot; thanks again😃!
Haha, I like your title. The books that I liked the most were the "12 week year" and "the compound effect." Those are some nice books that have changed how I work and take a look at my life.
I do read self-help and self-development books often, but, I have the same feelings about them as you are speaking. I rather choose and prefer to read philosophical and classic literary books. My favorite contemporary philosopher, Alain De Botton talks the same things. Anyway, I enjoyed watching a listening to you. Thanks for sharing
There were a few self-help books that i absolutely loved. One was “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn” and it gave me a lot of good advice that i was able to pass on to someone else. There were others as well, but i take the lessons I need and run with it.
The things you said resonated a lot with me, like the 'dislike' for self help book, but the counter intuitive thought that they want to do overall 'good' made a lot of sense. Also, you explaining your recommendations also helped me better much understand the notion you were proposing. I am eager to check out all those book. Thank you for sharing.
Comprehensive video Elizabeth! I enjoyed watching it as well as found myself nodding my head in aggreement to some of the points you mentioned. I appreciate your effort in putting out this content and grateful of such content being created and shared.
i have been reading self help books since i was like 16 and i really think it's the same they truly repeat the same istructions in diffrent words. i got bored reading them. i rarely find one of them has diffrent information or a new concepts. i listened to the courage to be disliked and i find it very intresting though i didn't get some ideas or couldn't accept them. the power of now, letting go, you can heal your life, these are really intresting books .
I felt the same way, although I did find"101 essays to change the way you think", "The mountain is you", and "The Direct line, by earl nightingale" good clarity books.
My mom was a an orthodox psychiatrist and psychoanalyst and watching the video I could see her in you, she would drive and vent to me her frustration with academia and the science community, she mentioned Alan Sokal, a lot, mostly when someone would try to persuade her into something based on some theory… she also had a mix of Winnicott, Melanie Klein, Jung, Freud … in her and despised Lacan, she was an IPA associate and called his theory in Portuguese “lacanagem”
Totally agree about how people present what helps them and then the confirmation bias’d “research” only presented in a way that confirms their point. It makes me distrust them. And toxic positivity does SO MUCH DAMAGE used against people who are more realistic in their perspective (ie “negative”)
I am also starting to have a bad relationship with the self-help industry as well. Like you said, even if those books have the main objective to help people in need, same points are being repeated in different words & I do not learn anything new. It’s like a vicious circle.
Loved the book ideas and your commentary. But, wow! I had to repeatedly back up and listen again due to the rapid speech. I'd love it if you slowed down so all those pearls of wisdom could be absorbed more easily! Thanks for sharing this info with us!
Now that im 31 and have been reading self help for about 5 years it feels like so many self help books are just repeating what others have said and it's time to apply and now self help has become a procrastination tool where I look for more obscure bits of info and solutions that I also won't apply ... thank you for this video before I've even watched it. 😃
One I'd add is The Monkey is the Messenger by Ralph de la Rosa, a meditation teacher and trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapist. It's basically about how to use meditation to heal trauma. It pulls from Buddhism but it's mainly from the perspective of Western psychology. Great way to start integrating what you might know from one of these fields into the other, aside from being helpful in its own right.
If anyone would like to read a book that helps with mental health, I’d suggest Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before by Dr Julie! Her book is really helpful since she has many years of therapy!
Your very first point speaks volumes, I was lucky to get a really really old book called “The Last Self Help Book You will need” not to mistaken with the “repress your anger…” one, the one I got is now available for free. In the book it points out how many books out there are just recycled words and takes the power from the author to the reader, and kind of puts the spotlight on you and “makes” you take action. I also dislike books that say the same thing differently throughout the book.
I have collected a lot of recommendations for self help books from various sources and there’s certainly a lot of overlap and commonly recommended ones! I’m very impressed all of the books you recommended are ones I’ve never heard of. I’m more interested to check them out because you have such a high standard for self help books. :)
Attached - Amir Levine & Rachel Rip It Up - Richard Wiseman A New Earth (Create a Better Life) - Eckhart Tolle The Courage To Be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga Personality Isn't Permanent - Benjamin Hardy
I find self-help books most useful for tactics or, as someone else mentioned, solving a specific problem that you actually do struggle with. They're naturally subjective as we're all different and facing different circumstances; I'd say reading 1 self-help book leaves you naive and single-minded, but reading 100 furnishes you with a huge arsenal of tactics. On the issue of length and bloat, I'd disagree this is a bad thing. Information 'can' be distilled to a blog post, but humans are not computers. We don't just update our firmware, instantly 'getting' concepts and shifting behaviour accordingly. What a longer, repetitive book does is provide the vehicle to meditate on a concept over days and weeks, bringing the mind back to consider it again and again. By the end, you understand and remember it far more deeply. Yes for seasoned, sharp learners this is often unnecessary - but I'd also wager that person is adept at efficiently navigating bloated books to get the value they need.
I feel the same way about self-help books! I think however the reason why you and I are frustrated by the books is we are very logical, self-aware, and self-motivating people. Most folks do not have these traits, therefore, the repetitive spelled-out way gets through to them where as we just find it overkill.
For me self-help books are just to offer you different (perhaps better) mindsets for practical problems. That's where I don't understand most criticism : 1) Overwritten : You need lots of examples and repetition to change a mindset one idea/argument doesn't do anything. Otherwise, forget a blog post all relationship advice could be summed up by the word love. For me saying self-help is overwritten is like saying fiction is overwritten when you could just read the Wikipedia summary. 2) Sus Science : If it's a mindset I don't see why are we involving science at all. It can help guide the search for the idea, but the solution is more philosophical in the end. 3) Dishonest, Toxic, what to think : These I get. 4) Why not just read philosophy, fiction or actual science : They just seem way less practical to me. It's more like the building blocks of the mindsets than the mindset itself. It's definitely a good long term habit, but I've never finished reading a fiction book or some science and found that it solved the exact problem I had. imo as always
There also may be some narcissism involved in some self-help writer's stance that "this helped me, this is the way to do things" because they assume everyone is like them so it should work, or the reader just isn't trying hard enough. That's the tone of some books I've read, anyway. Even some books that I get a lot out of don't usually hold my attention to the end because of repeated ideas. I skip to the end. 😁
I’ve stopped reading so many books because I was tired of reading the same thing. And I felt like I was wasting time. Then I feel bad for not finishing but now I know more people feel like me if I feel a book is wasting my time I’m gonna proudly turn it away and give a real review.
Robert Greene's books (mastery, 48 laws of power) are self help books that are very information dense, entertaining and not repetitive. Highly recommended
books being over-written gives you 2 opportunities: repetition is the mother of all learning, and also, if you distil the massage into a golden paragraph, you'll be able to create your own super golden self help bible for yourself.
A pet peeve I have with self-help books is that they are too individualistic and put the onus of change on the person, i.e. very capitalist. This ties into toxic positivity, as sometimes there are social structures that are working against *everyone* achieving a certain salary or dropping everything to do their dream job and achieve their goals. Also individuals do not function in a vacuum and many self help books ignore the importance of community. All About Love by Bell Hooks is a book I read recently which refreshingly recognized the importance of community and systems. It has its flaws, but I feel its a heartening book to read and an antidote to our times.
was going to stop watching when I saw Courage to be Disliked but then you said you had a love-hate relationship with it and all the points you brought up, I’ll give it another shot
I agree with your take on self-help books and their use of science, but I couldn't have said it this well. You articulated it very well. I'm definitely going to check the other books in the list!
I think self-help books are useful when you want to solve a specific problem. On the other hand, if you want to know more about yourself and the world, books on philosophy, psychology (no pop psychology) and novels are definitely better.
Can u suggest some non boring philosophy books?
@@sugarhoneyicedtea-1692 Probably most philosophy books can seem boring because many authors assume that you already have a background on other philosophers of the past. Personally, I really like the books on Stoicism because they are very practical, for example: Marcus Aurielius, Seneca, and Epictetus. Also, I really like Camus, he also writes fictions that are based on the philosophical themes he discusses in his essays.
@@sugarhoneyicedtea-1692 anything from the stoics (not Ryan Holiday)
And poetry! I think it was Yeats who said "poetry doesn't teach you anything, it changes you." Same with novels, short stories etc.
@@sugarhoneyicedtea-1692 Eckhart Tolle 11:15, Hermann Hesse
I had a wry smile on my face when you said about how these books are over-written, as I made this observation to my brother about some non-fiction books last year, after I realised I was often giving up on them about 1/3 of the way in.
Forward - Why I wrote this book
Chapter 1 - What is covered in this book
Chapter 2 - Why you should read this book
Chapter 3 - How to read this book and get the best out of it
Chapter 4 - What this book can't cover
Chapter 5 - The actual book
Chapter 6 - How to apply what we learned in chapter 5
Chapter 7 - More examples, worded slightly differently to make a new chapter
Chapter 8 - What other people have gained from what this book covers
Chapter 9 - Futures bits worth exploring.
Chapter 10 - Why you should read the examples in the last two chapters and what you can learn from them
Chapter 11 - Afterword - What I hope you got from this book, and let me know if should write another chapter...oops, sorry, book.
Haha that's brilliant.
That's why I like Robert Greene's books. He doesn't waste your time.
Overwrittenness is very much on purpose! Having to hear the idea 800 times is hypnotic, and you want hypnotism with self-help.
Yes!!! With so many of them it feels like people who are just trying to make money so they write (badly) about the same stuff that everyone else has written about but with a new "catchy" spin or cover. As if THIS is the book that's going to change your life. Then you (well, me) start studying psychology and you realize who all their sources are and you wish that the shelves were empty except for those few quality books that are actually worth reading in the first place. Instead of having to filter through piles of dung first to find the "classics" that are actually helpful.
I used to think I had an attention span problem because I couldn't finish certain books and would rather turn to short UA-cam videos to help with my problems. Then I realized the same thing you did!
I get really really *really* annoyed with the endless stories told in some books.
How to Win Friends and Influence People was one of the first self-help books I read. As an introvert, I've always found it very, very difficult to make new friends and build meaningful relationships. Looking back, I think most of the book is really useless. But back then, right after reading it, it felt like I had acquired a superpower to make friends and it made me act. I started to interact more with people, I started looking them in the eye. I felt much safer and in the end, it really worked for me. The point is, what I needed was the confidence this book gave me to try, make mistakes, learn from my mistakes, and desensitize myself to the process rather than its content.
wow
Had the exact experience with that book too!
Had that exact same experience too
Social skills are incredibly important so anything that can help you with them is a good thing. Also we live in a world for extroverts, lots of people are faking it.
I think it's kind of funny that most people think that social skills are just things that we learn without having to actually learn them. That book is good to tell you how to deal with people. I think those skills are important
In general, self-help books are there as a 'guide' or helping hand. Too often readers will take it as gospel and hope for a miracle cure. Without self-action, the teachings are not going to bring about positive change. Take what you can, understand the theory and implement what is important to you.
1. Problems of bad self-help books.
- Too over written
- Suspicious Science
- Dishonest
- Toxic Positivity
2. Good Self-help books.
- Attached : Love
- Rip it up: Actions - > Feeling
- A New Earth : A sense of immediate peace. Perspective. Inner world.
- The courage to be disliked.
- Personality isn't permanent: No matter who u are, you will be changing.
“The Use and Misuse of Language” by SI Hayakawa. Changed how I view everything and led me down the rabbit hole of general semantics. The subject that has taught me HOW to think the most rather than what to think.
Science and Sanity you have read it?
Liz's top 5 self-helf books are:
1. Attached
2. Rip it Up
3. A New Earth
4. The Courage to be Disliked
5. Personality Isn't Permanent
thanks for the direct answer rather than 15 minutes chattering😅
How do you know?
@@janmolekula3900 He saw the whole video.
@@advait35 Wow. That is one diligent man.
@@rahulskype1221 😂
You nailed this video. I absolutely feel the same, specially in the Suspicious Science and Dishonest sections of the video. Nowadays people use Science the same way God was used in the Middle Ages: as a fanatic way of possessing the truth.
I used to hate self-help books, until recently. I came across the book How to slow down in a world that is continually gathering speed, written by Yvonne Mol. It helped to get my priorities straight and to enjoy life a bit more.
That reminds me of a book I read years ago by Marshall J. Cook, entitled 'Slow Down... and Get More Done.' I remember it being very helpful at the time.
You would absolutely love Brene Brown's Atlas if the Heart. Gives you a vocabulary for all of our emotions. An amazing book.
Lately watched her movie on Netflix. Really good stuff. She's great example that vulnerability is not a weakness, it's a superpower. It requires courage. It changes people's lives and help them heal.
I can’t put into words how much I enjoyed your insights in this video. This is giving me the push to finally read Personality isn’t Permanent & The Courage to be Disliked. How passionately you spoke in this really just lifted my mood 🤓
The problem with self help books is that people never actually apply anything that's written in them and then wonder why they have read 20 self help books without improving on anything. speaking from experience xd
The problem with that is, that people read self help after self help book without stopping. I read a self help book, I then think about what I read, and I journal through it and then I make a point of using what I read in my day to day conversations and relationships with people. I would highly suggest to people to read a book, and then re-read it and journal with it. That way you get all that you need out of a book. I'm doing so much better with my attachments and my boundaries thanks to taking my time digesting information.
I don't know, I was going through a really screwed up. In my life when I was paralyzed and couldn't do anything and I was desperately reading self help books on the topic and following the steps religiously, or getting annoyed by and skimming past all the filler about how useful the methods were, and a lot of it was either useless, or in some cases had unintended detrimental effects that far outweighed any benefit
@@DeePeeZee Useful.
You said it!
If you have read a self help book, then you have read all of them. The point of reading more isn't to learn to information but to provide positive input in your life. It's a sort of effort that you do to feel that you are moving uphill. It's not about reading the books, it's about becoming a reader and feeling that ever so slowly shift your perspective to the right things
1 the courage to be disliked was a book I really really needed. Thank you you mentioning it.
2. "How to speak so kids will listen and how to listen to kids will speak" is an INCREDIBLE book for all ages and all status whether you are interested in being a parent or just want to communicate better in everyday life with other adults. It was a book that really changed me and my understanding of how others need to be understood
Thank you for this "How to speak so kids will listen and how to listen to kids will speak" !!! Great recommendation!
A self-help book I re-read from time to time as a ritual is Atomic Habits. I think the book Deep Work is also helpful.
I agree that a lot of self-help books are repetitive and contain unnecessary detail. For this reason I love reading the free previews of ebooks - most of the main points are outlined in the introduction and/or first chapter, and I don't have to pay for it nor make the commitment to another book I probably won't finish anyway. Love your channel by the way.
My favorite response to Attached is Polysecure, as it expands upon it to allow space for attachment to multiple partners and, more importantly, provides a path to adjusting your own attachment style.
Agreed! All of these self help books almost never offer any practical advice and just keep us looping around in pretty phrases. But i did enjoy Atomic Habits.
For people who were abused in their childhood I would recommend CPTSD from surviving to thriving by Pete Walker 💛
I have had books by Dr Russ Harris recommended to me by my psychiatrist. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is very easy to follow and is values based, and The Happiness Trap definitely combats the toxic positivity.
Also Brene Brown's "Atlas of the Heart" is really good for improving language around emotions.
Books that helped me the most: The Body Keeps The Score, Internal Family Systems 2nd Edition, No Bad Parts, Transcending Trauma and Altogether You. Just picked up Happy Days by Gabby Bernstein (wasn't interested in her previous titles but this one got my attention). Also: just watched a movie: Wisdom of Trauma by Gabor Mate - eye opener imo.
All in all, best thing that's been helping me is therapy within IFS model. It's difficult, intense, but I am starting to feel more like myself.
Main advice from me: whatever you're going through right now, try to find a root cause of the problem. Self help books, cold showers, productivity, self improvement/self development, spirituality, etc are all good as long as you're not using them to bypass unresolved emotions. From many years of struggle I arrived at a conclusion that only way to get better is take a difficult path and face your emotions, take care of them with love and compassion.
Even psychedelics won't solve your problems if you don't seek therapy and don't integrate your experience (tried them personally, helped me massively to kick start my healing journey, showed me my trauma very clearly (I was so convinced I didn't have trauma in the first place beforehand) - probably hardest experience of my life tbh. However, don't have a need to use them anymore. Got directions, now it's time to start the journey).
In other words don't start with self help, self improvement/development. Start with Self discovery (if you find it difficult to find your Self it's a sign that something is blocking it, something wants your attention, something want your love - usually it's a trauma): there you will find all the answers.
End note: some of you might be thinking no way I carry trauma or: trauma is when someone experience domestic violence, grew up with alcoholic parents or experienced sexual abuse. You think: I didn't have any of that so it doesn't apply to me - right ? Wrong: trauma can be being lost in a supermarket as kid and your parent yelling at you that it's your fault it happened instead of giving you support at that moment. Or someone might develop trauma despite having "everything" nice house, clothes, parents that were loving each other, working hard to provide but not giving enough attention to a child, not having a connection with the child.
"Your conflicts, all the difficult things, the problematic situations in your life are not chance or haphazard. They are actually yours. They are specifically yours, designed specifically for you by a part of you that loves you more than anything else. The part of you that loves you more than anything else has created roadblocks to lead you to yourself. You are not going in the right direction unless there is something pricking you in the side, telling you, “Look here! This way!” That part of you loves you so much that it doesn’t want you to lose the chance. It will go to extreme measures to wake you up, it will make you suffer greatly if you don’t listen. What else can it do? That is its purpose."
A.H. Almaas
All of the books you’ve listed are the ones I have found helpful as well. I was wondering if you could provide me with an update and more complete list of the books you have found useful. Would love an update on your personal journey as well if you feel like sharing.
What a lovely comment ❤ I'm on a similar journey and yeah, it took me a long time to realise that you can't skip the self discovery step!
Your channel has been my "self-help" haha. It's so nice to see someone on UA-cam that I can relate to on so many levels and get so much advice from on varied topics. Thanks for being around! (also, love seeing someone who looks like a beauty influencer but is all about mind)
self help or self development is as one said “can teach you how to ride a bike but you must do the riding!”..
you gotta do the work SELF-development
This is the first video I've seen from you and I like the way you point out what's important. Very useful. Thank you.
When we are looking for answers in life about anything... we need guidance. Yes, the info might not apply but at least it opens the door to a few basic ideas that guide us to the answers we seek.
“Behold! A man!” - Diogenes holding up a plucked bird.
I look forward to your more and more daring titles 😅Self-help books are not what they used to be, sigh. Toxic positivity is the worst!😤On the other hand, I totally agree that self-help books are good at giving you language to help you better express yourself in detail. Enjoyed your insights on this, Liz!
I love that you suggested books that are very rare from what I saw. Thank you!!
A NEW EARTH YEP 🏆 (first chapter is a lil woo woo but the rest literally changed my life and was easy/interesting to read)
Listening to Eckhart Tolle's Books was a Game Changer for me. I came from a place of dark thoughts, stumbled over Eckhart Tolle's Books and finally was able to navigate out of that inner mess.
that painting is wonderful
thank you!
Sure valid point there..They just teach what to think instead of how to think....Lisa thanks for being so simple and honest in your words.
Noted, thanks for all the recommendations. I'm also a bit skeptical about self-help books, perfect video.
You are so relatable and helpful Elizabeth!!! 😢
I hate the term “toxic positivity”. I’ve been told that my abstaining from drinking was “toxic positivity” and that carefully disciplining my life and building myself up was something “ridiculous” that “nobody does”. I’ve been judged for it.
So I just want to say, investing in yourself and making better decisions and adjustments in your life for the long term isn't “toxic positivity”. Not sure how most people use that term, but I wanted to clarify.
How the f is not drinking "toxic positivity"? I'm sorry you don't have people on your side. This is literally one of the best things you can do for yourself.
This is the first video of yours I’ve come across and I am in awe of how well you speak and articulate yourself!!
The moment when you start talking its better then any ASMR Video. Such a lovely voice and calming :D ty
I'd recommend "The Obstacle is the way" by Ryan Holliday, "The Compound Effect" by Darren Hardy, "Switch" by Dan and Chip Heath, and any book by Jordan Peterson.
Would you add Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People?
@@DharavSolanki I have this book, but haven't read it in full - just skimmed it. But from what I know of it so far, yes, I'd recommend it.
"Whole again" helped me realise should cut through the BS of productivity, self help, and all other distracting stuff, to just take a break and look inside and see what my pain is, what i truly want, and not keep myself bust mindlessly.
Oh, and the concept of the last book is basically my life motto. Nobody will ever convince me that I can't change, wtf?! 💙 I truly support that line of thinking. Specially when it comes to Psychology, it's so nice to get in touch with that instead of "personality tests" and stuff that tend to put you in a box. That can be used for good but also be an anxiety trap. Thanks, Gal. great video 🥰
that’s another thing I don’t get n don’t wanna get and that’s the persona tests..
personality if referring to aspects of ego
we use daily in daily transactions of whatever type
but tits the being we are trying to really get to know..
You really nailed it. That’s exactly why I first research the author. Maybe that’s a very German thing to do, but I don’t take advice from someone who just doesn’t have any reference. Which leads to me only reading books written by researchers or philosophers. Like Daring Greatly by Brené Brown or The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor etc. They are leading you through their research and at the same time give you strategies on what and how you could implement some of them into your own life.
I will say one thing about self-help books might feel boring to read but they are not overwritten or filled with pop psychological stuff. They are really helpful to me. At the start, I felt it'll be boring but as I started to read and when I started to apply the principles of those books I feel those changes in myself I become better at myself. But I do not completely disagree with your points Liz may be some books were overhyped but there are options available too and the books that you recommended I will read. Thanks for sharing valuable tips with us.🤗
“I feel so disrespected as the reader “ lol awesome Elizabeth. I rarely think that way but maybe I should. Usually when I feel I’m not being entertained or benefiting from what I’m reading I just put the book down. I’ve gotten rid of that bad practice recently as I’ve learned sometimes you have to digest everything just to get that single grain of knowledge that’s hidden in the many words of the author. It is interesting how you look at books by also analyzing its worth as a literature piece. I admit, I most likely have to step up my game as a reader and hearing your thoughts as a reader is a wonderful way to learn .. in my case how I should feel sometimes when reading a blog that’s a book ! Lol. Shakes fist in the air .. but I aim to improve “sigh”. Thank you for your candor. 🙂
This lands for me, I find almost all self help books are guilty of telling analogous stories beyond delivering the actionable insight to the point where I’m convinced I’m wasting my time by reading.
I find self help books often make me feel like crap, and also the writer just makes me angry. I get both are emotional responses, but it’s honestly what happens. Thanks for your suggestions, I’m always open to looking at things in a different way!
i have read only one self help book in my life and that is "The rudest book ever -shwetabh gangwar" and it's exactly on point with the "how to think" it straight up teaches that you are a complex being and that you need to stop seeing yourself from the eyes of others. It's practical and despises toxic positivity and embraces critical thinking. 9.5/10
Thinking fast and slow by Daniel Kahneman isn't exactly self-help but it throws a lot of insight into several areas that you can apply to yourself. It helps that Kahneman is very knowledgeable and his writing is succinct -- I mean it has to be given that the guy has a nobel prize in econ lmao.
As a guy who basically read a lot of self improvement books (And I mean A LOOOT), I can say that your ways thinking is somewhat right (Especially the part where the person is mostly taking about themselves.) With that being said, there are actually pretty good self improvement books out there that actually help (Charisma Myth, The way of a superior man, The magic of the thinking big and obviously the GOAT How to win friends and Influence People). But most of the help comes from philosophical books in my opinion (Like meditation is still one of the best, and recently the untethered soul). These books actually give you what you expect from a good book. They will always be a re-read!
You absolutely rock. Your wording is perfect, and your timing is fantastic. No time to get bored. What a pleasure to listen to you. Thank you.
Thank you for this. I've added these books, and some from the comments, to my reading list. I'd like to recommend "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck, and "How Not to Be Wrong" by Jordan Ellenberg. Not exactly self-help books, but far more helpful than most self-help books out there.
Hi Elizabeth, it would be nice to see a review of your favorite fiction self-help books!
Was just about to say the same thing before i saw this comment!
Yeah me too!
the gesticulation is so exreme that it makes me wonder if a family member of her is deaf
I cannot stop thinking I love you
Another point , lot of books teach opposite lessons like one book will tell you to enjoy life in the moment , while there's another that will tell you to go ahead , hustle every second ,etc
( also ,never jumped on a video so fast , please pick such topics more often )
Favorite self help books: Feeling Good by Dr David Burns. Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown. How not to Die by Dr Michael Greger
Hi I really liked the ending “fellow nerd” hehe it made me delighted to know that there are so many of us in the world , not just myself 😇 absolutely love your content and I know that my time invested in watching your videos have a really high ROI. Keep up the good work. Lots of love ❤️ 💗
it’s kinda crazy how nobody’s talking about Antozent, they are selling 250 self help books for the price of one
It's kinda crazy how a bot got 1.2k likes but not even a single reply
I frickin hate you'll bots
I wanted to thank you for recommending "The Courage to be Disliked". I thought that I might want to give it as an upcoming birthday gift, so I'm listening to the audiobook to see if my friend would like it. Still not sure -- because, like you said, I don't "like" 'the way it's written' either -- but it really does contain a lot of value if you just ignore the awkwardness 😄. So far, the most revelatory idea has been the transition from the popular definition of 'having a' (inferiority/superiority) "complex" to the 'speaks another language'/medical understanding of '(concept) simple' and '(concept) complex' which is a lot less intimidating. And, though it is awkward, I do appreciate that the book succeeds fairly well at bridging the gap and helps bring "popular (mis) understanding" of these issues somewhat closer to a scientific/medical understanding in a way that persons not trained in these disciplines can rebuild their basis and proceed with a more secure foundation. I'm enjoying a lot; thanks again😃!
Haha, I like your title. The books that I liked the most were the "12 week year" and "the compound effect." Those are some nice books that have changed how I work and take a look at my life.
I do read self-help and self-development books often, but, I have the same feelings about them as you are speaking. I rather choose and prefer to read philosophical and classic literary books.
My favorite contemporary philosopher, Alain De Botton talks the same things.
Anyway, I enjoyed watching a listening to you. Thanks for sharing
There were a few self-help books that i absolutely loved. One was “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn” and it gave me a lot of good advice that i was able to pass on to someone else. There were others as well, but i take the lessons I need and run with it.
The things you said resonated a lot with me, like the 'dislike' for self help book, but the counter intuitive thought that they want to do overall 'good' made a lot of sense. Also, you explaining your recommendations also helped me better much understand the notion you were proposing. I am eager to check out all those book. Thank you for sharing.
I appreciate your way of thinking as well as your encouragement
Thank you girl
It’s nice to see that there are other people in the world that still read books and I’m not the only one
LOVED LOVED LOVED the topic.
Comprehensive video Elizabeth! I enjoyed watching it as well as found myself nodding my head in aggreement to some of the points you mentioned. I appreciate your effort in putting out this content and grateful of such content being created and shared.
i have been reading self help books since i was like 16 and i really think it's the same they truly repeat the same istructions in diffrent words. i got bored reading them. i rarely find one of them has diffrent information or a new concepts. i listened to the courage to be disliked and i find it very intresting though i didn't get some ideas or couldn't accept them. the power of now, letting go, you can heal your life, these are really intresting books .
I felt the same way, although I did find"101 essays to change the way you think", "The mountain is you", and "The Direct line, by earl nightingale" good clarity books.
My mom was a an orthodox psychiatrist and psychoanalyst and watching the video I could see her in you, she would drive and vent to me her frustration with academia and the science community, she mentioned Alan Sokal, a lot, mostly when someone would try to persuade her into something based on some theory… she also had a mix of Winnicott, Melanie Klein, Jung, Freud … in her and despised Lacan, she was an IPA associate and called his theory in Portuguese “lacanagem”
Totally agree about how people present what helps them and then the confirmation bias’d “research” only presented in a way that confirms their point. It makes me distrust them. And toxic positivity does SO MUCH DAMAGE used against people who are more realistic in their perspective (ie “negative”)
I am also starting to have a bad relationship with the self-help industry as well. Like you said, even if those books have the main objective to help people in need, same points are being repeated in different words & I do not learn anything new. It’s like a vicious circle.
I like you approach to filter of what are u consuming as a reader. Very conscious ❤️
Loved the book ideas and your commentary. But, wow! I had to repeatedly back up and listen again due to the rapid speech. I'd love it if you slowed down so all those pearls of wisdom could be absorbed more easily! Thanks for sharing this info with us!
Now that im 31 and have been reading self help for about 5 years it feels like so many self help books are just repeating what others have said and it's time to apply and now self help has become a procrastination tool where I look for more obscure bits of info and solutions that I also won't apply ... thank you for this video before I've even watched it. 😃
One I'd add is The Monkey is the Messenger by Ralph de la Rosa, a meditation teacher and trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapist. It's basically about how to use meditation to heal trauma. It pulls from Buddhism but it's mainly from the perspective of Western psychology. Great way to start integrating what you might know from one of these fields into the other, aside from being helpful in its own right.
If anyone would like to read a book that helps with mental health, I’d suggest Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before by Dr Julie! Her book is really helpful since she has many years of therapy!
Love the way Elizabeth explains about books !
Thank You
Your very first point speaks volumes, I was lucky to get a really really old book called “The Last Self Help Book You will need” not to mistaken with the “repress your anger…” one, the one I got is now available for free. In the book it points out how many books out there are just recycled words and takes the power from the author to the reader, and kind of puts the spotlight on you and “makes” you take action. I also dislike books that say the same thing differently throughout the book.
I have collected a lot of recommendations for self help books from various sources and there’s certainly a lot of overlap and commonly recommended ones! I’m very impressed all of the books you recommended are ones I’ve never heard of. I’m more interested to check them out because you have such a high standard for self help books. :)
Attached - Amir Levine & Rachel
Rip It Up - Richard Wiseman
A New Earth (Create a Better Life) - Eckhart Tolle
The Courage To Be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga
Personality Isn't Permanent - Benjamin Hardy
Loving your videos so far! Glad to see some new books unlike the ones are mentioned over and over again. Thank you so much :D
I find self-help books most useful for tactics or, as someone else mentioned, solving a specific problem that you actually do struggle with. They're naturally subjective as we're all different and facing different circumstances; I'd say reading 1 self-help book leaves you naive and single-minded, but reading 100 furnishes you with a huge arsenal of tactics.
On the issue of length and bloat, I'd disagree this is a bad thing. Information 'can' be distilled to a blog post, but humans are not computers. We don't just update our firmware, instantly 'getting' concepts and shifting behaviour accordingly. What a longer, repetitive book does is provide the vehicle to meditate on a concept over days and weeks, bringing the mind back to consider it again and again. By the end, you understand and remember it far more deeply. Yes for seasoned, sharp learners this is often unnecessary - but I'd also wager that person is adept at efficiently navigating bloated books to get the value they need.
6:16 to 8:00 love how u explained & especially the choice of words
literally wrote it down every single word u said on my notepad
I feel the same way about self-help books! I think however the reason why you and I are frustrated by the books is we are very logical, self-aware, and self-motivating people. Most folks do not have these traits, therefore, the repetitive spelled-out way gets through to them where as we just find it overkill.
For me self-help books are just to offer you different (perhaps better) mindsets for practical problems. That's where I don't understand most criticism :
1) Overwritten : You need lots of examples and repetition to change a mindset one idea/argument doesn't do anything. Otherwise, forget a blog post all relationship advice could be summed up by the word love. For me saying self-help is overwritten is like saying fiction is overwritten when you could just read the Wikipedia summary.
2) Sus Science : If it's a mindset I don't see why are we involving science at all. It can help guide the search for the idea, but the solution is more philosophical in the end.
3) Dishonest, Toxic, what to think : These I get.
4) Why not just read philosophy, fiction or actual science : They just seem way less practical to me. It's more like the building blocks of the mindsets than the mindset itself. It's definitely a good long term habit, but I've never finished reading a fiction book or some science and found that it solved the exact problem I had.
imo as always
Great insights as well. Expanded my mind and awareness with your point and hers. Lol. Thanks!
@@unidentified113 Wow, thanks. Best compliment I could get.
There also may be some narcissism involved in some self-help writer's stance that "this helped me, this is the way to do things" because they assume everyone is like them so it should work, or the reader just isn't trying hard enough. That's the tone of some books I've read, anyway.
Even some books that I get a lot out of don't usually hold my attention to the end because of repeated ideas. I skip to the end. 😁
silly question, how do you style your hair? looks amazing and so put together in every single video
I totally agree with her point on self-help books been overwritten. Most of the books could fit a ten-page summary.
I’ve stopped reading so many books because I was tired of reading the same thing. And I felt like I was wasting time. Then I feel bad for not finishing but now I know more people feel like me if I feel a book is wasting my time I’m gonna proudly turn it away and give a real review.
hell yes
Robert Greene's books (mastery, 48 laws of power) are self help books that are very information dense, entertaining and not repetitive. Highly recommended
I agree with this video. Self-help books have so much fluff to increase page count. I just read Littler Books now.
I very much relate to your rant :) And it's one of the reasons I prefer "self-help" books that come from actual researchers.
It is not a rant. It is an explanation in context.
Love the video! Also love your hair, would love to see a tutorial if you’re keen to do one!🥰
The subtle art of not giving a fuck is the opposite of all the self help books you hate.
Best book I read last year.
yup anyting that goes that o’ way needs this balancing factor that goes thee otha ‘ way
3:09 oh my gosh, you just explained what philosophy is in a way I finally understand! Thanks!
books being over-written gives you 2 opportunities: repetition is the mother of all learning, and also, if you distil the massage into a golden paragraph, you'll be able to create your own super golden self help bible for yourself.
Just be happy, the ultimate objective to read a beautiful book is to bring a smile on your face. One book I would recommend is "The ultimate gift". 😉💛
Love the art piece in the background Riminds us of our finite mortality and finding love that behond the outer limits we see but the soul within
Yeah, "Personality isn´t permanent" is one my favorite books i´ve read this year.
A pet peeve I have with self-help books is that they are too individualistic and put the onus of change on the person, i.e. very capitalist. This ties into toxic positivity, as sometimes there are social structures that are working against *everyone* achieving a certain salary or dropping everything to do their dream job and achieve their goals. Also individuals do not function in a vacuum and many self help books ignore the importance of community.
All About Love by Bell Hooks is a book I read recently which refreshingly recognized the importance of community and systems. It has its flaws, but I feel its a heartening book to read and an antidote to our times.
was going to stop watching when I saw Courage to be Disliked but then you said you had a love-hate relationship with it and all the points you brought up, I’ll give it another shot
This is the best most clear articulate rant and everything you said made sense! Thank you! LOL
same i was like wow how is this so articulate
precise rantin
I agree with your take on self-help books and their use of science, but I couldn't have said it this well. You articulated it very well. I'm definitely going to check the other books in the list!