Thank you for diving deep with us into the transformative world of shadow work. If this guide resonated with you, please give it a 👍 and share with someone who might benefit from it too! Have questions or insights about your shadow work journey? We'd love to hear from you. Engage below, and let's create a supportive community where we learn and grow together.
I notice that I feel triggered when people throw litter in nature. How do I integrate this aspect? Is this a shadow and does integration mean I become okay with it? I also have difficulty when people say they will do something and then they dont follow through. It makes me cut them off but now I am not even sure if I am allowed to dislike anything in anybody. Does full integration mean that we become okay with everything people do? Would it mean I no longer ask my friend to please keep their word, but that I accept them as they are and adjust my expectations of them? Does it mean that I hang out with that friend that throws their sigarette bud on the street and not be bothered by it? Or that I join them in littering? Or does it mean I will calmly let them know that if they keep on littering I will no longer hang out with them? (Set a boundarie) What is integration?
@@zion367 Hey, it's common for certain situations to trigger unpleasant feelings, and often, this is due to our mental filters, like opinions, judgments, values, and beliefs. Take littering, for example. It's harmful, and it's perfectly reasonable to notice and want to take action against it. You might pick up the trash or ask the person who littered why they didn't use a bin. The issue arises, however, when such events cause strong emotional reactions. This intensity of feeling should prompt introspection. Why does this particular action bother you so much? What thoughts run through your head during these moments? It's crucial to realize that these automatic thoughts are often conditioned responses that you've come to accept as truths. It's not about relinquishing your values or opinions but recognizing that these thoughts might not reflect reality as it is, but rather a reality shaped by your acquired perceptions. Integration involves recognizing these patterns and moving beyond them, so they no longer negatively impact your mental state. An example I relate to involves reactions to specific comments, like those from our parents. Our self-image and conditioning are shaped by how we see ourselves in relation to the world, which in turn is influenced by the emotions and opinions we experienced in our formative years. Listening closely to your thoughts during these times can reveal that they often echo the opinions and values of those who raised us. I experienced this myself and realized that these thoughts weren't truly mine. Recognizing this, I began to let go of them. Remember, you are not merely the sum of your thoughts, especially those imposed by others. You are far more complex and magnificent than any thought can encapsulate. Regarding the issue of being upset by people not following through on their commitments, it's perfectly valid to have preferences. The key is to discern whether these preferences are based on beliefs you've actively chosen and resonate with, rather than those you've unconsciously adopted. It's important to value your time and be selective about the company you keep. I, too, find unreliability unacceptable and often choose to limit or end such relationships. Define what friendship means to you and measure others against this standard. It’s a balancing act of personal values and experiences. While I can offer advice, ultimately, you must be prepared to lose people, make mistakes, and learn from these experiences to gain true wisdom. In the end, we can't change others; we can only change how we interact with the world. Choosing not to be overly affected by others' misbehaviors is healthy, as missteps are common. Instead, focus on cultivating a positive and loving mindset. This approach doesn't mean you ignore negative behaviors; it means managing your reactions to maintain your well-being. Setting clear boundaries and communicating your feelings honestly, directly, and openly is essential. I hope this helps.
@@NinjaMindMastery wauw, thank you for taking the time to write this out for me so neathly. I truely appreciate it. At the moment I dont feel in the mood to respond to it, but I will come back to it tomorrow. ❤️
@@NinjaMindMastery I think in regards to the littering I do understand it if people are not aware of the impact, but I feel that after explaining it there is no excuse to keep doing it. In the past I saw it as a disrespect towards myself, but nowadays I realise that this is me taking it personally. I think the best solution is to adress it and after that I can see if the person is willing to be more mindful of it. If they are, cool,and if they refuse to do better also cool. However then I choose to no longer spend time with them. About people not following through... Well, it can happen if they forget or if something came in between, but then I think an apology is at place. I think I also struggle when people dont apologise after not following through. Or when they make excuses. Lately I have been better about it. Its just how they choose to be and I can decide to no longer make plans with them or go along in case they didn't show up. I have the idea that some may do it to provoke me on purpose, but then the best approach would be to not even mention it so they will have no pleasure from their action. Now yesterday a friend came over and he was behaving very mean. Making a degrating comment, ignoring my request to put earplugs while scrolling through insta videos, trying to rush me... I stayed calm and non reactive, but I wonder what I am suppose to do. Cut these type of people out or learn how to stay unbothered by them and thearn how to love others unconditionally? Maybe the lesson is boundaries. So when I notice that a person is behaving in a mean way I could calmly and friendly say that I feel for whatever is bothering them, but that I dont want to be in this unhealthy energy and ask them to leave. Yes, thats a good one, because then they know that they can not pull these tricks on me. Anyway, I also want to apologise for my late reply. Its technically more then a day later and I wrote to reply the next day. I kinda forgot until it popped in my mind again. Thankfully.
Thank you for diving deep with us into the transformative world of shadow work. If this guide resonated with you, please give it a 👍 and share with someone who might benefit from it too! Have questions or insights about your shadow work journey? We'd love to hear from you. Engage below, and let's create a supportive community where we learn and grow together.
I notice that I feel triggered when people throw litter in nature. How do I integrate this aspect? Is this a shadow and does integration mean I become okay with it?
I also have difficulty when people say they will do something and then they dont follow through. It makes me cut them off but now I am not even sure if I am allowed to dislike anything in anybody.
Does full integration mean that we become okay with everything people do?
Would it mean I no longer ask my friend to please keep their word, but that I accept them as they are and adjust my expectations of them?
Does it mean that I hang out with that friend that throws their sigarette bud on the street and not be bothered by it? Or that I join them in littering?
Or does it mean I will calmly let them know that if they keep on littering I will no longer hang out with them? (Set a boundarie)
What is integration?
@@zion367 Hey, it's common for certain situations to trigger unpleasant feelings, and often, this is due to our mental filters, like opinions, judgments, values, and beliefs. Take littering, for example. It's harmful, and it's perfectly reasonable to notice and want to take action against it. You might pick up the trash or ask the person who littered why they didn't use a bin. The issue arises, however, when such events cause strong emotional reactions. This intensity of feeling should prompt introspection. Why does this particular action bother you so much? What thoughts run through your head during these moments? It's crucial to realize that these automatic thoughts are often conditioned responses that you've come to accept as truths. It's not about relinquishing your values or opinions but recognizing that these thoughts might not reflect reality as it is, but rather a reality shaped by your acquired perceptions. Integration involves recognizing these patterns and moving beyond them, so they no longer negatively impact your mental state.
An example I relate to involves reactions to specific comments, like those from our parents. Our self-image and conditioning are shaped by how we see ourselves in relation to the world, which in turn is influenced by the emotions and opinions we experienced in our formative years. Listening closely to your thoughts during these times can reveal that they often echo the opinions and values of those who raised us. I experienced this myself and realized that these thoughts weren't truly mine. Recognizing this, I began to let go of them. Remember, you are not merely the sum of your thoughts, especially those imposed by others. You are far more complex and magnificent than any thought can encapsulate.
Regarding the issue of being upset by people not following through on their commitments, it's perfectly valid to have preferences. The key is to discern whether these preferences are based on beliefs you've actively chosen and resonate with, rather than those you've unconsciously adopted. It's important to value your time and be selective about the company you keep. I, too, find unreliability unacceptable and often choose to limit or end such relationships. Define what friendship means to you and measure others against this standard. It’s a balancing act of personal values and experiences. While I can offer advice, ultimately, you must be prepared to lose people, make mistakes, and learn from these experiences to gain true wisdom.
In the end, we can't change others; we can only change how we interact with the world. Choosing not to be overly affected by others' misbehaviors is healthy, as missteps are common. Instead, focus on cultivating a positive and loving mindset. This approach doesn't mean you ignore negative behaviors; it means managing your reactions to maintain your well-being. Setting clear boundaries and communicating your feelings honestly, directly, and openly is essential. I hope this helps.
@@NinjaMindMastery wauw, thank you for taking the time to write this out for me so neathly. I truely appreciate it. At the moment I dont feel in the mood to respond to it, but I will come back to it tomorrow. ❤️
@@NinjaMindMastery I think in regards to the littering I do understand it if people are not aware of the impact, but I feel that after explaining it there is no excuse to keep doing it.
In the past I saw it as a disrespect towards myself, but nowadays I realise that this is me taking it personally.
I think the best solution is to adress it and after that I can see if the person is willing to be more mindful of it. If they are, cool,and if they refuse to do better also cool. However then I choose to no longer spend time with them.
About people not following through... Well, it can happen if they forget or if something came in between, but then I think an apology is at place.
I think I also struggle when people dont apologise after not following through. Or when they make excuses.
Lately I have been better about it. Its just how they choose to be and I can decide to no longer make plans with them or go along in case they didn't show up.
I have the idea that some may do it to provoke me on purpose, but then the best approach would be to not even mention it so they will have no pleasure from their action.
Now yesterday a friend came over and he was behaving very mean.
Making a degrating comment, ignoring my request to put earplugs while scrolling through insta videos, trying to rush me...
I stayed calm and non reactive, but I wonder what I am suppose to do.
Cut these type of people out or learn how to stay unbothered by them and thearn how to love others unconditionally?
Maybe the lesson is boundaries. So when I notice that a person is behaving in a mean way I could calmly and friendly say that I feel for whatever is bothering them, but that I dont want to be in this unhealthy energy and ask them to leave.
Yes, thats a good one, because then they know that they can not pull these tricks on me.
Anyway, I also want to apologise for my late reply. Its technically more then a day later and I wrote to reply the next day. I kinda forgot until it popped in my mind again. Thankfully.
Great video.
Thank you 🙏
❤
❤
😊
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