MANDISA MASHEGO | A MUST WATCH EPISODE 🔥🔥🔥🔥
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- Опубліковано 10 лип 2024
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What I’ve learned in my recovery is to stop helping people. I am only responsible for me. Don’t take jobs that affect my emotions like social work, child guardian, or anything dealing with homelessness and domestic violence. These things drain me. I have had to cut off all family and friends, and go into hermit mode while I heal. I was a people pleaser who attracted energy vampires. These people demanded things from me and I gave because I wanted love, did not want to anger them, and wanted to be like Jesus. I am an ex Christian now. Giving up religion has also saved my life. I was indoctrinated and manipulated from childhood to be a doormat. I’ve stopped giving to the homeless in the street. There are organizations to help people, it’s not my job. Doing good deeds in order to get into heaven is not smart. Don’t take on other people’s karma. Leave them alone and get out of the way. Practice self care.
I did the same thing. Thanks for sharing.
Same. I worked in healthcare for 18 years and it drained the life out of me. I’m now in technology and performing arts.
🎯🎯🎯
Very wise....
Wow SPED for six years and hadn't realized, of today's public school climate, most of the village (parents/guardians) are on vacation. I feel deemed as a babysitter and occasionally drained! Time to re-up. Thanks
There's a difference between being an emphath and being a doormat for people. You find that most emphaths are wounded from a young age, and that can lead them to being people pleaser, and they often struggle with setting boundaries until they have healed themselves and are in their personal sovereignty. Healed empaths knows the importance of doing averything in moderation because they have highly developed personal power. In my opinion true empaths are those who have a balanced yin and Yang period.
Powerful 🙏
nice. I just commented something similar. she was not an emapth to begin with. true empaths do not suffer the things she's talking about
Accurate!!
To be quite honest, I have no idea how it’s possible for anyone to *be an empath. As such behavior, isn’t exclusive to certain people. Empathy is embeded within. It’s just that some people choose to exercise it more often than others. To say that empaths are individuals that were wounded at an early age, would mean that one has to be wounded in order to be and feel empathy for others. As most that aim to please, do so for a reason. Like she said, “after a while, she asked herself…..what am I getting out of it.” If and when someone is only being nice or extending themselves in a nice way because they’re seeking something or something specific………they will never know, much less understand what real connections look and feel like……..much less what they’re *made of. Which is why most will say things like, “if you give to someone and like clockwork,they will always expect you to give.” Which btw isn’t necessarily true. This will only be so, if said person is using you, or from jump, one of those two individuals was giving in order to receive. As we all know that “friends with benefits” is its own culture, that’s not only practiced, but is also been perfected in ways that most will communicate this interest, as if it’s a norm for everyone. Folk should be able to give, and not feel like someone owes them something. As giving is a choice.
Yes!
I woke up today sobbing. Crying to God why things have gone the way they have in mylife. I dont feel am where am supposed to be. Had a reflection of my life, filled with regret, for so much i tolerated till now and am the one losing my soul and my self. Then a thought came to me, i feel every thing of whats happening to others and i give my self so much. Opened youtube for reference. Before i typed anything. Just opened youtube, this was the very first video that came up. I have never opened this youtube channel. This is God!
Everything she has said. I have been. I have literally given up my whole life for everyone from childhood. my siblings, parents,spouse, work, friends, God, even scared to have children because i will not have any part of me left. Yet i want children soooo bad.
I just want to disappear where no one knows me to be selfish for me for once.
You and me both if it was possible we were gonna meet and drink tea because after everything you feel so alone and lostwith so much pain.
You’ve read my mail, we both going through.
This is actually my life... thought I was alone😮
My life in a nutshell. But for me it's a way of life. I live for this. It completes me draining as it may be. It is my saving grace, abnormal as it sounds. I don't know any other life and surprisingly I am content
This is how I woke up today! Sacrificed so much in the belief that's what you do for those you love; to be shafted, over & over again! At the start of the year, I promised myself - never again... but find myself slipping back into habitual ways. .
I'm slowly moving away from being Empathetic, I feel guilty but I have really told myself that it's time to help myself now... Help myself be happy, help myself to be considerate to myself first before anyone else.. Give to myself more than to anyone else... Being empathetic is so draining as you grow older... I'm 31 years old btw, I've been placing others first for most of my existence
I have been there, was responsible for my mom and my younger sister, asked to even return from college to take care of them. Can you imagine that, my mom asking me to come home from college to take care of her when I had 5 other siblings. I succumbed to the pressure came home and took care of her and long story short, that was my life for the last 30yrs.
My whole family took advantage of my empathetic nature and I tolerated a LOT of bullshit. She passed away in 2021, the rose colored glasses has been removed, I'm awake and NOW, my life is my own had to separate from all family and finally put myself 1st. And I will NEVER look back !!!!! It was a long hard journey but
I am sorry but this is dumbest thing I've heard, empathy does not mean you are to be a doormat.
@@DrBeeSpeaks school us then since you know so much.
The more you give is the more they keep coming back to ask for more
I can help
Having discernment in knowing who truly appreciate your empathy is key. Test the spirit behind the character!!!
Compassion works for me much better than empathy. Have you empathy is a bad word. Much love
The saying that's in heavy rotation right now is..... givers have to know their limits because takers have none. I know and understand that all too well. It took me well over 30 years to change. The portion of the interview labeled message needs its own snippet. So powerful!
Empaths get tested the most, I'm afraid; even in relationships, it is said we attract mostly Narcissists. I am learning to disconnect from this disease, but it is so hard because, as Mandisa says, every decline we make will leave us feeling guilty. I am thankful that there are platforms where we can learn to change our interactions with people, to stop feeling too much and to stretch ourselves thin for others. Thank you 🙏
I thought I was alone,so relieved to learn that there are thousands of us out there
True. While I’m careful to use that term narcissism as really it’s very marginal of the populace that truly is narcissistic, we tend attract extremely Self centred and unkind people and that because we are always ready to rehabilitate humans. No more!
If that is something that is said about “empaths”, ask yourself,why and how is it possible for someone/anyone with such poor character and thinking to know something like this about you. It’s not like the person is some good friend that knows you well (compliments of Time spent and you making them aware of this). They’re just some run of the mill pop psychologist/user that’s using poor psychology to define you. More than likely said user, is aware of that persons needs and weaknesses and sells it to them, by way of whatever snare they’re up for constructing. There’s nothing wrong with being there for whoever, but extending yourself to jokers and 🤡 will always have you 2nd guess your nature, while squandering who you are. #naturally. Things like sense/smell, being in tune/awareness and making a profound difference in someone’s life…..,(that needs or genuinely desires whatever you’re extending). Will and can never become.a thorn in your life…..,much less will drain you.
Usually born into a narcissistic family and then marry a narcissist
Yes it's important to recognize that empaths are attracted to narcissists just as much as narcissists are attracted to empaths. What gets emps stuck is the victim mentality, even though they aren't victims. Emps deeply identify with being victimized but it's the acknowledgement that BOTH parties are filling a void within this dynamic that starts the healing.
I remember one of the things that saved me from this path coz as a child and teenager I was the worst ppl pleaser - was reading this somewhere "If you ever have to pi*s someone or yourself off - choose that person coz you remain with yourself and that irritation will be with you for some time.😊
Best line: "Healing is something your do yourself"!....and for your soul.
Being an Empath is so difficult. I'm also a recovering empath. I got drained got tired and realised I was being taken for a ride.
I wish i was aware of this many years ago i have been a giver for the very longest time. But then i never ever recieve much and i am ok now. I am recovering Empathie.
My parents spent their lives giving and giving and sometimes at our expense as their children. They are pastors and people keep wanting to take away even more, when my dad retired people walked away coz there was nothing more to receive . It has been so sad to watch as he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after suffering depression for a while coz of this. I get this conversation so well coz I've had to recover from being an empath coz I've seen what it has done to both my parents. I really enjoyed this conversation, danko ❤
When I was Young my Father told me Life is about You, your Kids and the Mothers to your Kids, not your Brother, Not your Friends, not your Parents...
"People don't want to manage themselves" This is so true! Self-management is one of the hardest and most tedious thing ever, it's constant checking of self. This is because it requires you to acknowledge and actively fix your shadow and flaws which can be daunting. It's self-reflection and knowing how to stop being a victim and being your own humble, respectful, and loving hero. It all starts with self-love.
USis’ Mandisa is having such a necessary talk for those of us who are empaths. She is basically narrating my life and I have just recently started to move away from this in regards to family and the guilt is overwhelming. Such a vital talk to share so we all know we are not crazy however we need a change to happen.
Anything you do that is performative is your ego , Everyone on the planet has an ego, otherwise you would not survive, an Ego is your protective layer, its the layer that protects the real you, your ego is the layer of you that goes to war in order to protect your peace, Who is your peace ? the real you, the Godlike you, the baby you.
Meaning the Ego is not inherently bad . There is the social, cultural, "fit into society part of you" that is the Ego, the performer that protect the "inner man", is the the EGO
The performer "EGO" studies the culture and has to perform in order to fit in, that's why we take off our bra's as soon as we get home, the performance is over, the ego can relax and we can tend to our wounds or triumphs honestly.
I love your comment and wish I could like it a thousand times. Many people misunderstand the ego as a bad thing, which might explain the prevalence of self-blame. The ego is simply mental activity in the mind, existing in its rightful place. Just as there is nothing outside of consciousness, believing that the ego is separate from the whole creates the illusion of separation. I got a bit philosophical there, but you get the gist. I also noticed when she said she didn't have an ego, which made me raise an eyebrow🤔 Apart from that, I loved the content and her perspective.
Your comment has given me insight, it answers a question I had asked myself earlier: if there is nothing outside of the whole and the ego is mental activity within the whole, what is the true nature of this phenomenon? I asked and the answer was given 👌
Growing up having to be attentive to the emotions of the adults around me developed me into an empath. In my adult years I recognize that people pleasing behavior that can go left unchecked unless familiar with the dangers of being too empathetic and lack of boundaries; certainly was due to a lack of self love and respect. Here's to more balance for all empaths!
Same.
I'm an old soul. This interview and the interview with Mpho Sebeng are the best interviews thus far, that's just me.
I am sensing that she is a starseed... a Pleiadian Starseed to be particular. One of the biggest lessons that Pleiadian starseeds have to learn about in their lifetimes on Earth is the issue of excessive empathy! And listening to her speak seems like she has learnt that lesson in this lifetime. Kudos to her!
Reincarnation and aliens😅
But empathy is a gift not a disease. It’s a very powerful weapon if used correctly. Being on earth is learning how to master your gifts, good or bad.
@stargoddess, if u understand her context of "disease" you will note that she is talking about the very thing that u are highlighting - yes, empathy is a gift but when empathy is over excessive without setting boundaries, That's when it is used incorrectly, and she is adjusting like she said.
@@mnqobintombela1302 I understand that but words are a powerful thing as a medium even to call it a disease is a bit harsh. For a young empath out there watching this who’s mind isn’t as developed. I’m speaking from experience I’m just not agreeing with her wording that’s all. I hope you understand where I’m coming from. No disrespect!
@@StarrGoddess77 Yes, I understand where you're coming from. I guess it's just semantics because I understood her too. But thanks for your comment, it is highly valued.
U are speaking to me....All the people I've helped are now my enemies....One person once said my biggest regret is making a nobody a somebody when they become somebody they think u a are a nobody..
I think the issue of evil people being found in the church is that we don't know what is a church. A church is to me like a hospital which is full of people who acknowledged that they are sick and they need healing, so the problem is that we expect perfection from a place where people who are imperfect went to be made whole.
😢
Damnit you are on to something
I hear u,but we also expect to see an improvement if people have been in hospital for some time.How are u a pastor/bishop in tne church but u are so evil?It doesnt make sense to me
Romans 7:19-21 ,paul says the bad i hate is what I do but the good I like is I cannot do it therefore sin dwells in me
Romans 3:9-20 God days, he knows we don't HV him in our hearts
The purpose of church is provide ppl who are in need using 10% of tithing collected from church members
Bible was to bring order and control
But Matthew says in last days , false prophets destroyed the purpose of church given this pastors don't attend social issues such as domestic violence, crime, corruption and drugs . Even pastors can't make evil ppl to repent
TD JAKES once said you can't want more congregation in your church though u fail to bring high quality education of bible
Most ppl gave up on churches because they don't HV answers for their suffering given answers are inside the bible scriptures
Its crazy how some family members & friends only call when they need something. This episode is a eye opener. We going true a lot as a black child, black tax, black-mail, its just too much...
This episode should be a must watch for every recovering empath and those that have suffered from narcistic abuse.
Narcissists LOVE empaths.
Loved this point mbokodo=rocks being thrown at you!The audacity of people hurting you and then say "She's resilient, she can take it" 😮So sobering❤
1 You will not find God in a church, yes you might vibrate at a frequency where the universe opens up to you and doors open for you.
2. what umama Mandisa is describing as cleansing your childhood trauma, and letting go of old beliefs by finding the inner you. That's what being born again is.
3. I am 32 years of age and lived with fear, anxiety, and childhood traumas that I was not aware of,
I quit my job, went on full reset, literally went on full reset.
I am reborn and technically 1 year and a couple of months old now, I have so many answers to dj sbu's questions and will one day share this knowledge for free because every black person must go through the experience I had.
❤❤❤
'that's what being born again is.' ❤
It doesn't get more profound than that.
Profound, I so look forward to your story... Kk eep on advancing 🙏
Bro...I am in dire need of that full reset
Please do a story time or find a way to share your story. It is very needed and would do some good
I am amazed that some people enjoy the suffering of others , and Sis Mandisa I really think you are right about the balance...and we as empaths must take responsibility for our nature, usually we learn to say No when we get burned.
As an Emphath, I have learned to love myself first, the same way I love others.
Yoh this interview was necessary 🙌🏽.. also black don’t crack how is she 50? 😳😍. She dropped nothing but gems I relate so much in what she said I’m also an empath & I’m starting my recovering journey 🎊 🎉
I love this woman with all my heart ❤
This has got to be one of my most favorite episode. Very informative and spot on! Thank Sbu and aus Mandisa
She is pitting facts and i literally learned the hard way after loosing my job even the so called mom treated me like shit im just waiting for my sec chance
You'll bounce back 👏
I’m on the same journey of recovery from being an empath and I find it so hard, I feel so guilty and you right people tend to feel so entitled to what’s mine that when I don’t have, they don’t believe me. This was so helpful,
I love the mutual love and respect for Sbu and Mandisa...we need more of that brotherly and sister love amongst us as a people.
This has been so profound for me. Truly life changing for me....
Oh my goodness. This video was golden in my eyes, in my heart, in my soul! This woman is speaking something that resonates with the things I have felt but could never put into words. I have been pushing past my struggles with being empathic for over four decades. This video ended up in my feed this morning and I am glad it did.❤Blessings to all and greetings from Hawaii. THANKYOU.
feeling so conflicted in my spirit becos of things happening in my life and hard decisions i need to make...then this popped up.
The title brought me here. I haven’t fully watched this, but empathy is human and our best change at survival. Please change the title. We’re all tired of being betrayed but we must learn to judge character and be balanced in our giving not denounce empathy.
She is actually the only South African woman, I agree more with and I think that's cause she has love for South Africa as a country and for people in general and she will never let wrong passby her watch. If only most South Africans were like her. This country would flourish.
Food for thought, most people that eventually move away from being empath persona were never empaths to begin with. Your experiences and traumas caused you to be in a constant defensive state of being a people pleaser and you have finally found yourself.
I say this because people who ate trully empaths do not feel out of body, they find pleasure in being empaths not other people's reactions to it.
If you are an empath and you move away from it, you will have internal conflict and depression as you are trying to become someone you're not and vice versa (an non empath believing they are an empath).
I pray everyone in the comment section truly finds themselves and be unapologetic about it.
There is not wrong with being an empath if you are truly an empath
I agree with you 💯. I have accepted I am an empath. Trying to change myself was making me miserable.
You might find pleasure in being an empath, but I doubt anyone finds pleasure in being taken advantage of, used or manipulated no matter how much you like helping others.
@@olilumgbalu5653 for sure, but my point is, if you are trully an empath, you won't stop being one. you'll become a better version of yourself and be a better judge of character but you will continue being an empath.
living a lie causes internal conflict, you'll never be okay
Wow what an episode! This lady is so deep, there’s not part of me she did not touch with everything she said, I mean my soul, body and spirit! ❤❤❤ Me and her can have a conversation the whole year without stopping. It’s very seldom to find people like her these days, people are so shallow minded it’s not even funny!
Truly 🫂we are here, quiet.
I so can relate guys. Currently on a journey to unlearn, enforce boundaries and self prioritise....
wow Mandisa, what a profound perspective, you literally opened my eyes.... OMG. thank you for this!!!!
I am so in love with her mind, period ❤.
What a human being, she is smart & so profound
I’m worried empathy has been minimised to material giving. True empaths are sensitive to spiritual and emotional needs. Not just physical… boundaries are important yes but you don’t simply “recover” from empathy.
You guys touched a very important topic,it hits the black bread winners the most.
This was such an impactful talk. Authentic, not trying to sell news or be controversial or sensational.
Listening to Mandisa speak is like she snuck into my mind and lived there for all my life just listening, recording, only to come to this podcast and beautifully articulate everything she heard. She’s so right. Her journey is such a blessing just hearing about it.
I’m off work TODAY because of this caring BS I do at work for people who DGAF about me or my empathy. It’s me time, cause all these people do is take advantage and use up your energy, cause we giving it away for free, but I know I was taught to do this with my religious upbringing.
She sounds very nice, reminding me of Mamtsheko Mosito from Radio 2000
Thoroughly enjoyed this episode! 👌🏽 Sis Mandisa managed to put a lot of things into perspective and words. A simple, yet very profound breakdown of being an empath. The examples she keeps throwing in here and there of how she believes she would have picked up the habits, influenced and so forth couldn’t have been anymore spot on.
If there’s a mentorship program of any sorts that sis Mandisa does, then please plug us bhuti Sbu. 🔌 Millennials and GenZ have a lot to learn from this dynamic powerhouse of a woman.
Sbu, is a blessing to black child. And his generous of his love, aura and cheering others. May God bless him beyond his expectations.
Same here I will give but I struggle to ask for help. I take from my father and mom. If I don't have I just deal with it
And it's not money even normal things like support.
Divorced my ex wife and to this day I've never told anyone what actually happened yet I am there to listen to others and offer them advice, a shoulder etc
I love this video and enjoy listening to your mother tongue. Please add translations when you do so i can follow the message
The one thing I loved about knowing and working with Mandisa is that she genuinely loves helping people… ❤
True love she is…
thank you for this! From Florida in the US, so grateful to hear about empathy and boundaries
Yes I’ve allowed it and I take responsibility, but it’s not easy to do things differently, you’re blamed for changing and not caring but I’m ready for for any kind of reaction,
I needed to hear this as I just learned that I too am an empath. Thank you Dj Sbu and Sis Mandisa. This is so powerful.
This was an extraordinary episode, it validated the stages I have gone through as an empath and the stage I have reached now: to take full responsibility for everything that has happened in my life. Thank you and hope this show reaches far and wide.
Listening from Kenya. Love this discussion.
Welcome to the family
Most insightful episode I really enjoyed her chat with the GOAT , African stories for everyone 🎉
Thank you very much DJ Sbu this was a very powerful session. I didn't know that simply living the way we do at the moment would lead to so much danger. I think as a society we ought to rethink some of our abnormal norms. I believe the spirit that South Africans have can lead us to becoming the most progressive society ever but we need to start sacrificing a few things like the culture of dependency and constantly feeling the urge to continue helping people in situations where we ought to be allowing them to grow. I'm also a victim of this and hope my journey can help other people become better. Sis Mandisa we know your pain.
Heyoka she is...i love it... thank you Sis now i give seeds and not bread...if you know what I mean...
I’m no longer a people pleaser. I am pouring back into myself and I love it.
I just love this Woman!❤
Wisdom.
A truly genuine and phenomenal woman! Thank you 🤩
Watching this a day after starting my recovery as an empath. I really needed to watch this episode. Thank you Mandisa and DJ Sbu for this one ❤
how's that going. will really start after this
@@leratomatong3526 constantly fighting my default settings. But I’ve learnt that rather help others from your overflow.
Thank you Sis Mandisa, so much insight!!!
Thanks for such a powerful interview! Beautiful woman, articulate, loads of wisdom! I feel inspired and empowered. 🙇🏾♀️😍🌸🍀🙌🏾
She speaks so well!
This interview helped me to know im not crazy for thinking I need to help myself.
My bank account went to -0 while everyone around me was getting help from me. 😮
I was the problem not them. Help yourself 1st and do what you can for others. ♥️
Thanks, Sisi Mandisa, for pointing out that people often hide behind religion, especially Christianity, as a coping mechanism for their struggles.
This was an exceptionally timely discourse.
I am an empath, and after this discussion, I’m seriously even considering sending this to people that I believe it might be helpful to however, these are the very same people who would not return a kindness or even a thank you with the information that I generally share with them.
So maybe there’s one person that I might send it to but after that everyone else can go to Hades.
I’m in the discussion. I wish I could speak your language so I can understand some of the points you were making in your language but other than that, it’s been a quite beneficial discussion.
Thank you so much 🙏🏾
This is important for me given my life journey and others.
Thank you DJ Sbu and sis Mandisa for a wonderful and educational episode. I learned a lot about my self today and it is nice to know I am not the only one going through this.
You spoke to my inner being and it was good to listen to you guys.
Wow thanks for so much insight,can relate
I can relate with her on so many levels. What a beautiful mind she’s got 👏
So true, hit rock bottom last year mentally & realised all the people I've helped wouldn't or couldn't be bothered, realised time to put me first, & sick off ungrateful people. & it is all about balance, & now I step back & won't jump in now. If I over spend now ( I always say to myself I spent it on me ) God Bless 🙏
Sbuda! Sbuda! Thank you for bringing this lovely intelligent Princess❤
Very Powerful , thanks for a great show!!!!!!!! i can't stop watching this episode....
Incredible insight and deeper analysis into human thinking, processing and presence is required.
Ah! I like where Sbu says "Umi'mpilo ikbonisi'qininso" so much in that statement. I can write a book about people who leave you based on your personal economic changes, particularly when they can no longer benefit from you. Also, being an empath has been unduly exalted in time past, and I'm so glad Mandisa sees its toxicity, and identifies how people with parasitic tendencies can suck you dry, and never reciprocate what they benefited from you even when you need them most. It is worse when it is done to you by an ex spouse.. Very insightful conversation on human behaviour...
You we are recovering sonke from being empaths and wows is it a healing process.
Powerful conversation, I appreciate you Sis Mandisa. Thanks, DJ Sbu for bringing her again. When is she taking Virtual Mkhukhu like you guys promised?
This was a good interview. I also appreciate Dj Sbu for his willingness to share knowledge and give back to the community. The guy is generous with what he has🙏
*Empathy is like a checking account. Give it the **_save_** respect.*
When you give money, except not to get it back
Timely conversation and it has been helpful in my case to learn and live joyfully.
There we go, some real convos.
Wow Sbu, thank you for such thoughtful conversation with my fav person u Mandisa...I'm liberated...
Am downloading dis video and I will play it every month 3 days before a get paid so dat it remind me dat it's me first n de rest will follow.
Thank you SBUDA FOR bringing Mandisa on this platform,,,, she is incredibly smart:!! Future President of SA 🙌🙌
COOL HEAD, WARM HEART principle goes a long way, empathy gives anything we create a heart. If it doesn't have a heart sooner or later it will die.
Empathy is a blessing!!!!
Great conversation. However being an empath to me means overly connecting with others.... emotionally. Being overly sensitive to a person's emotions.
Thank you for the discussion. Beautiful beings, you are. 💐💐
This is one of the best episodes, I didn't expect it.
Profound and highly impactful😢
That's Codependency. They have 12-Step meetings for that. It's not empathy. The lack of empathy is what's driving the world insane now!
Jesus came to set us all free
Just saw Mandisa and clicked to view and listen in😉
lol same here
I love her I feel as if she is my mentor that I might not meet but I love dimamzo
THANK YOU
MY STORY
GOD SENT MESSAGE
GOD BLESS