Never feel sorry for an adult bully. They know exactly what they're doing. They're evil & take pleasure to hurt people. They ARE happy people....in a nasty evil way. They're beyond pitying because they are old enough to make this choice to hurt people all on their own with no parent looming over them, cornering them into making the action to bully another. They are adults & 1000% percent responsible for their behavior 1000% of the time.
Thank you. Im so sick of all these idiots going "they don't know-" when its bullshit and they are often trying to cover for things their chickenshit ass did too at some point.
Exactly, hell NO!! I see people at my job literally smile and get ecstatic when they inconvenience and make me and others miserable. Sad pathetic losers who think their sh*t don't stink and walk around like they are "cool" people. Worthless walking dumpster fires.
No, happy people simply do not act that way. They're miserable. Then do whatever necessary to hide it but we're not buying it. And anyway, we don't care. They're losers. Lol. They know what they're doing, because they don't do it to their bosses. They are selective. And so we know it's intentional.
I filed for social support when i last considered quitting my job. My case handler, who was very helpful otherwise, suddenly interrupted me on the phone and said....we cant get involved in a bullying case .... She had reading between the lines, i hadnt openly said i was being harrassed, but of course she was astute to what was going on with me, and her reponse was not encouraging at all. So yes, you really are alone sometimes. I wish it were not so.
@@Feline-philosopher et al - Power and money control the avenues of redress for targets of illegal harassment and discrimination. This is the main problem. Toxic and corrupt organizations have unlimited resources compared to their targets. Until there is a remedy to fairly adjudicate claims of targets, the top tiers of industries will be comprised of gangsters and mobsters. Write legislators before human resources.
The workplace bully is not very conscientious 100% correct! My husband is bullied at work because he is the best one at doing the job. His supervisor is incompetent and hates for any one else to look good because it really highlights his lack of skill. This is great information, ty!
Thank you for this episode. Shared liberally. Having worked in an environmemt rife with bullies for a lot of years, I can say from personal experience that I believe that those who bully absolutely know the misery they inflict, and that it gives them a sense of power and control to humiliate and generate anxiety in their targets. In fact, I would argue that they derive a twisted sort of glee from it. My personal tormentors would often smirk or giggle after making remarks designed to embarrass me. What gives them the right to squash other people to bolster their own self esteem? It's a sickness. Given the magnitude of the problem, I almost think that North America should implement psychological testing and standards for managers in every sector. Some people are incapable of interacting with others in an emotionally healthy manner. Perhaps.they should just be off working by themselves, instead of being allowed to act out against their subordinates and peers, like overgrown children. The trouble is that they are so rarely held to account for their aberrant behaviour, which, without identification and resolution, becomes everyone's problem. Our whole society would be better off if people with bullish tendencies simply never got to positions of authority because they were not emotionally fit to lead.
I love shrugging and smiling like I didn't really get it or just one upping their joke and laughing really loud and then watching their little faces screw all up. Hehe. They're mad they were never the popular kids in school. Poor babies. Can't relate.
@@Carriegoat35 At the time, while I was working, I was up to 10 different prescriptions. I still don't sleep ever it seems like, and my physical injuries never heal, they just flare up. If you can get help with a psychiatrist, get the help you need. I crashed hard with a nervous breakdown and went homeless because of it.
I agree with most of what you shared however when you said the poor bully is sad...I thought... so what!!! Many of us go through things that are difficult and yet we do not cause others suffering because of it nor despite it. I just made a complaint about my bully and her pit bull coworker whom she uses to do much harm. Interestingly a week after my complaint went through. My bully pulled a fast one and called my coordinator in a situation whereby she played the victim. I got called to HR to be told I should apologize for calling the bully a liar and that she disgusted me. I will walk out before I ever apologize and I am not a proud person but I hold to standards of integrity and justice. I am going to take an early retirement at my own cost rather than continue being abused. I am absolutely disgusted with all the injustice that goes on. My only solace is knowing that one day the one true God will come back to expose the truth and bring true and fair justice. Psalm 37 confirms that. I pray that everyone here finds peace and self preservation in this cruel situations.
I have been a target of mobbing. I have read a lot about bullying and mobbing. I was interested when I heard the phrase "blowing the whistle" on bullying. I consider bullying and mobbing a form of corruption. Most behaviors are not endorsed within personnel handbooks nor even law. Bullies are always supported by the power structure. They never succeed alone. A well managed and fair enterprise will not tolerate bullying. They will stop it or mediate the situation. The same is true of whistleblowing. Whistleblowing becomes dangerous when the organization breaks their own rules to retaliate against the target. Human resources will do what management demands. Corrupt management requires a corrupt human resources. Since the objective is to protect the corrupr power structure,, there are no rules for perpetrators. Under current conditions targets do not really have support and legal remedies are expensive and not always successful. My employer bribed lawyers.
Covert bullies: one of my experience was boss incited others to destroy my work from files and in their place make them leave complaint notes for which I wasn’t even counselled on or notified. When I went to management to request that if there were genuine complaints they should be made through proper channels instead of placing malicious notes in commercial-in - confidence work files, management told me I was being vindictive for making such a request. Talk about projection of their own blame. .
surprisingly, there is a course of conduct of the target being treated as a traitor to the organisation in daring to bring the company into disrepute! This appears to be a blueprint of behaviour that identifies a vicious cycle of harassment to destroy the target both physically and mentally. Which in effect, is a crime and those engaging in such behaviour are committing a criminal offence. All of the behaviours of harassment are inherent. Flying monkeys are also complicit and the same course of abuse is employed with the sole intent of destroying the target's life.
Every company should have a yearly power point presentation on the 4 types of bullying, because just about all people can't see it , but they would if they had an awareness of the types of bullying , and I'm sure this would turn the tables on the bullies , I'm pretty sure that even the bullies don't know that they are one , it's just their nature to stab people in the back , continually..
According to my research, most bullies know exactly what they are doing. It's all about power and control. Like, one responder stated, they get some kind of sick pleasure out of it. I've seen it in their eyes and have heard their laughter after having abused their target. In many instances, I myself was the target. It sickens me.
@user-cg9ip4cd9x the word your looking for is schadenfreude, I have had two Aholes on my back for 17 years , it gone to the union now and I'm just putting a letter together with as much info as possible, very hard when they are covert ,you see about 2% and feel the results months or years later "social bullying ".
Absolutely! The longer there are excuses and no consequences for their poor behaviour towards others, bullying will continue to thrive in the workplace. I have actually seen and heard of this type of behaviour rewarded with raises and promotions. It would appear that having no morals or ethics, stealing credit for the work of others making colleagues feel "less than", and the inability to empathize is a talent worthy of reward in the eyes of some management, who most likely obtained their positions by doing the same. Trust me, they know exactly what they are doing. They feel they are superior to others and; therefore, are entitled to treat them this way.
can you talk more about covert bullying. someone whom everyone loves and thinks is sweet but you’ve been shown a different side of them. how to recognize covert bullying and what to do about it. Ty
I've been out of a very toxic workplace bullying experience 23 years of it by a psychiatrist who's contract as the head of psychiatry was not renewed he bad mouthed me behind my back told junior psychiatrists to call me a PD and went out of his way to demonize me
@@Whatisptsd It was 23 years of being scapegoated and bullied so I am retired from that living nightmare and I am slowly healing So thankful to be out of there Thank you Dr.Baranowsky I really appreciate your kind words
@@Whatisptsd I've been mobbed and gaslighting at work for over 12 years till present. Full of NPD cowards at work and will end up exposing themselves.. I'm a top worker, jealous of me big time and of my money and condo too. Defamation of character. Saying I'm a stalker, I drink, I'm crazy. All bs. Managers are scared of the bullies, they do nothing, union, police are all totally useless too. Toxic workplace in healthcare. Been working 38 years and never been suspended. Action speaks louder than words. But this crap never ends trying to scare the women at work, all the insecure and toxic women. I will never quit due to these lazy bums with no life. These 2 guys should be locked up and have the manager fired.
Covert workplace bullies love schadenfreude, and every time they crouch down at the smoko table and the words spew from their gob ,"Hey Hey wanna here some goss , you know the knife is in your back when new people look at you , and when they have their devotees and work on you for 17 years , you would think enough is enough , but they keep on ya .
How do i handle a manager from another department who i still have to work with to set up onsite tech services appointments for our customers, always speaks to me in very hostile, condescending, and insulting language whenever i have to interact with him. Also, my direct office manager refuses to address his hostile work environment, but instead often encourages it or refuses to listen to grievences and has a few times publicly scapegoated and humiliated me to a few of our important customers. I'm basically really alone and completely targeted on a daily basis.its also intermittent so some days work goes smoothly, then someone with an axe to grind that moment will go ballistic on some often conjurred up accusation to tub my face in nonstop.i cant take it anymore.
I will never be sad for a bully who knows well what is doing and do everything intentionally! Nobody brought the word narcissist in here but I will. They study you and target you without remorse! They don’t hold any accountability and always shift the blame in the victims also they have a full army of enablers and flying monkeys to destroy any kind of evidence and your reputation! I have been suffering these insidious abuse in my current job but it has not been the only job where I have been victim not only of bulling and harassment but also racism. My emotional and physical well-being has been compromised and I brought up this situation to the higher lever possible just to see nothing happened and my abuser is going stronger and wild in her abuse because she feels supported. She is so manipulative and micro controlling on the top of fake charming and empathetic! You are correct they will destroy and target the person who is more competent! I don’t need her to be successful in what I’m doing and that is driving her crazy! Btw she uses all the 4 techniques explained in this video!
Never feel sorry for an adult bully. They know exactly what they're doing. They're evil & take pleasure to hurt people. They ARE happy people....in a nasty evil way. They're beyond pitying because they are old enough to make this choice to hurt people all on their own with no parent looming over them, cornering them into making the action to bully another. They are adults & 1000% percent responsible for their behavior 1000% of the time.
It's true they get a joy of someone's pain
Yes. Serious face at work, laughing with the clique after office hours in the pub.
Thank you. Im so sick of all these idiots going "they don't know-" when its bullshit and they are often trying to cover for things their chickenshit ass did too at some point.
Exactly, hell NO!! I see people at my job literally smile and get ecstatic when they inconvenience and make me and others miserable. Sad pathetic losers who think their sh*t don't stink and walk around like they are "cool" people. Worthless walking dumpster fires.
No, happy people simply do not act that way. They're miserable. Then do whatever necessary to hide it but we're not buying it. And anyway, we don't care. They're losers. Lol.
They know what they're doing, because they don't do it to their bosses. They are selective. And so we know it's intentional.
I just was bullied out of my nursing job that I loved. There were no real protections or support for me
I filed for social support when i last considered quitting my job. My case handler, who was very helpful otherwise, suddenly interrupted me on the phone and said....we cant get involved in a bullying case ....
She had reading between the lines, i hadnt openly said i was being harrassed, but of course she was astute to what was going on with me, and her reponse was not encouraging at all. So yes, you really are alone sometimes. I wish it were not so.
I wish it was illegal to bully in workplaces.
I am in academia. I've heard the nursing profession is just as bad. So sorry. Hope you find a good job.
@@Feline-philosopher et al - Power and money control the avenues of redress for targets of illegal harassment and discrimination. This is the main problem. Toxic and corrupt organizations have unlimited resources compared to their targets. Until there is a remedy to fairly adjudicate claims of targets, the top tiers of industries will be comprised of gangsters and mobsters. Write legislators before human resources.
The workplace bully is not very conscientious 100% correct! My husband is bullied at work because he is the best one at doing the job. His supervisor is incompetent and hates for any one else to look good because it really highlights his lack of skill. This is great information, ty!
Thank you for this episode. Shared liberally. Having worked in an environmemt rife with bullies for a lot of years, I can say from personal experience that I believe that those who bully absolutely know the misery they inflict, and that it gives them a sense of power and control to humiliate and generate anxiety in their targets. In fact, I would argue that they derive a twisted sort of glee from it. My personal tormentors would often smirk or giggle after making remarks designed to embarrass me.
What gives them the right to squash other people to bolster their own self esteem? It's a sickness. Given the magnitude of the problem, I almost think that North America should implement psychological testing and standards for managers in every sector. Some people are incapable of interacting with others in an emotionally healthy manner. Perhaps.they should just be off working by themselves, instead of being allowed to act out against their subordinates and peers, like overgrown children.
The trouble is that they are so rarely held to account for their aberrant behaviour, which, without identification and resolution, becomes everyone's problem. Our whole society would be better off if people with bullish tendencies simply never got to positions of authority because they were not emotionally fit to lead.
UK and India too. You wrote what was on my mind.
Well put!
I love shrugging and smiling like I didn't really get it or just one upping their joke and laughing really loud and then watching their little faces screw all up. Hehe.
They're mad they were never the popular kids in school. Poor babies. Can't relate.
I worked in a place like that for years, and I went through it all. I deal with CPTSD and anxiety every day now and can no longer work.
It shortens our lives too.
This is my worry - I can't afford to not work, so I work, which worsens my CPTSD.
@@Carriegoat35 At the time, while I was working, I was up to 10 different prescriptions. I still don't sleep ever it seems like, and my physical injuries never heal, they just flare up. If you can get help with a psychiatrist, get the help you need. I crashed hard with a nervous breakdown and went homeless because of it.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope the best for you moving forward. This is heartbreaking...
@@joeruiz9077 So am I sorry, sorry for trusting them.
I agree with most of what you shared however when you said the poor bully is sad...I thought... so what!!! Many of us go through things that are difficult and yet we do not cause others suffering because of it nor despite it. I just made a complaint about my bully and her pit bull coworker whom she uses to do much harm. Interestingly a week after my complaint went through. My bully pulled a fast one and called my coordinator in a situation whereby she played the victim. I got called to HR to be told I should apologize for calling the bully a liar and that she disgusted me. I will walk out before I ever apologize and I am not a proud person but I hold to standards of integrity and justice. I am going to take an early retirement at my own cost rather than continue being abused. I am absolutely disgusted with all the injustice that goes on. My only solace is knowing that one day the one true God will come back to expose the truth and bring true and fair justice. Psalm 37 confirms that. I pray that everyone here finds peace and self preservation in this cruel situations.
Been there many years ago. It was in retail store. I am still tramatized.
Be gentle with yourself and build the resource of self-kindness.
I have been a target of mobbing. I have read a lot about bullying and mobbing. I was interested when I heard the phrase "blowing the whistle" on bullying. I consider bullying and mobbing a form of corruption. Most behaviors are not endorsed within personnel handbooks nor even law. Bullies are always supported by the power structure. They never succeed alone. A well managed and fair enterprise will not tolerate bullying. They will stop it or mediate the situation. The same is true of whistleblowing. Whistleblowing becomes dangerous when the organization breaks their own rules to retaliate against the target. Human resources will do what management demands. Corrupt management requires a corrupt human resources. Since the objective is to protect the corrupr power structure,, there are no rules for perpetrators. Under current conditions targets do not really have support and legal remedies are expensive and not always successful. My employer bribed lawyers.
You hit the nail on the head particularly between 8:00 - 12:00. I didn’t stumble upon this by accident.
Covert bullies: one of my experience was boss incited others to destroy my work from files and in their place make them leave complaint notes for which I wasn’t even counselled on or notified. When I went to management to request that if there were genuine complaints they should be made through proper channels instead of placing malicious notes in commercial-in - confidence work files, management told me I was being vindictive for making such a request. Talk about projection of their own blame. .
surprisingly, there is a course of conduct of the target being treated as a traitor to the organisation in daring to bring the company into disrepute! This appears to be a blueprint of behaviour that identifies a vicious cycle of harassment to destroy the target both physically and mentally. Which in effect, is a crime and those engaging in such behaviour are committing a criminal offence. All of the behaviours of harassment are inherent. Flying monkeys are also complicit and the same course of abuse is employed with the sole intent of destroying the target's life.
Every company should have a yearly power point presentation on the 4 types of bullying, because just about all people can't see it , but they would if they had an awareness of the types of bullying , and I'm sure this would turn the tables on the bullies , I'm pretty sure that even the bullies don't know that they are one , it's just their nature to stab people in the back , continually..
Exactly what I was thinking. The blame should not be on leadership alone.
According to my research, most bullies know exactly what they are doing. It's all about power and control. Like, one responder stated, they get some kind of sick pleasure out of it. I've seen it in their eyes and have heard their laughter after having abused their target. In many instances, I myself was the target. It sickens me.
We need to stop making excuses for these peoples' behaviour and start holding them accountable.
@user-cg9ip4cd9x the word your looking for is schadenfreude, I have had two Aholes on my back for 17 years , it gone to the union now and I'm just putting a letter together with as much info as possible, very hard when they are covert ,you see about 2% and feel the results months or years later "social bullying ".
Absolutely! The longer there are excuses and no consequences for their poor behaviour towards others, bullying will continue to thrive in the workplace.
I have actually seen and heard of this type of behaviour rewarded with raises and promotions.
It would appear that having no morals or ethics, stealing credit for the work of others making colleagues feel "less than", and the inability to empathize is a talent worthy of reward in the eyes of some management, who most likely obtained their positions by doing the same.
Trust me, they know exactly what they are doing. They feel they are superior to others and; therefore, are entitled to treat them this way.
can you talk more about covert bullying. someone whom everyone loves and thinks is sweet but you’ve been shown a different side of them. how to recognize covert bullying and what to do about it. Ty
I've been out of a very toxic workplace bullying experience 23 years of it by a psychiatrist who's contract as the head of psychiatry was not renewed he bad mouthed me behind my back told junior psychiatrists to call me a PD and went out of his way to demonize me
Sounds like a very tough experience. Be gentle with yourself and find time to engage in activities that feel nourishing to you.
@@Whatisptsd It was 23 years of being scapegoated and bullied so I am retired from that living nightmare and I am slowly healing So thankful to be out of there Thank you Dr.Baranowsky I really appreciate your kind words
@@Whatisptsd I've been mobbed and gaslighting at work for over 12 years till present. Full of NPD cowards at work and will end up exposing themselves.. I'm a top worker, jealous of me big time and of my money and condo too. Defamation of character. Saying I'm a stalker, I drink, I'm crazy. All bs. Managers are scared of the bullies, they do nothing, union, police are all totally useless too. Toxic workplace in healthcare. Been working 38 years and never been suspended. Action speaks louder than words. But this crap never ends trying to scare the women at work, all the insecure and toxic women. I will never quit due to these lazy bums with no life. These 2 guys should be locked up and have the manager fired.
@@Whatisptsd Very poor management.
@@Whatisptsd Don't re-act and don't try to defend yourself.
Covert workplace bullies love schadenfreude, and every time they crouch down at the smoko table and the words spew from their gob ,"Hey Hey wanna here some goss , you know the knife is in your back when new people look at you , and when they have their devotees and work on you for 17 years , you would think enough is enough , but they keep on ya .
My boss has poisoned the well with the last two secretaries.
How do i handle a manager from another department who i still have to work with to set up onsite tech services appointments for our customers, always speaks to me in very hostile, condescending, and insulting language whenever i have to interact with him. Also, my direct office manager refuses to address his hostile work environment, but instead often encourages it or refuses to listen to grievences and has a few times publicly scapegoated and humiliated me to a few of our important customers. I'm basically really alone and completely targeted on a daily basis.its also intermittent so some days work goes smoothly, then someone with an axe to grind that moment will go ballistic on some often conjurred up accusation to tub my face in nonstop.i cant take it anymore.
Thanks for the video, need a better microphone tho
This narrator needs to chill a bit on the intonation, holy
???
What is her name?
I will never be sad for a bully who knows well what is doing and do everything intentionally! Nobody brought the word narcissist in here but I will. They study you and target you without remorse! They don’t hold any accountability and always shift the blame in the victims also they have a full army of enablers and flying monkeys to destroy any kind of evidence and your reputation! I have been suffering these insidious abuse in my current job but it has not been the only job where I have been victim not only of bulling and harassment but also racism. My emotional and physical well-being has been compromised and I brought up this situation to the higher lever possible just to see nothing happened and my abuser is going stronger and wild in her abuse because she feels supported. She is so manipulative and micro controlling on the top of fake charming and empathetic! You are correct they will destroy and target the person who is more competent! I don’t need her to be successful in what I’m doing and that is driving her crazy! Btw she uses all the 4 techniques explained in this video!