I had never heard that INTJ's don't want to get married or have kids, but that was me. I did get married but I should've stuck to my intuition instead. At least I didn't have any kids. I've been called emotionless by numerous people, yet they were often the beneficiaries of my ability to think and stay calm, cool and collected when things were going sideways and everyone else was panicking and losing their shit. I have emotions like everyone else. The difference is that I am not controlled by my emotions.
Wow, you are honestly the only person I've been able to really relate to possibly in my whole life. Everything you say is so spot on. I get told all the time that I look mean or upset. I get told I should smile more and talk more. It's so annoying. I think people should smile when they genuinely feel like smiling and say something when they genuinely have something to say. You are right when You said we like things to be true and genuine. I hate feeling like I have to be fake or if someone is fake to me. The subject of children also hits home with me. So many people just can't handle it when you tell them you don't want children . I've also been told I'll die alone. Having children still doesn't guarantee that they will take care of you when you're old. Do you know how many elderly parents out there are being neglected by their "children"? Nothing is ever certain. I'm good at seeing through people's masks. I can pretty much tell what a person is all about within the first day I meet them. I can relate to being bad at math. lol. I'm also into art and science. I really love history too.
I have a job that (normally) requires a lot of in-person interactions. I ended up getting marked off on my yearly evaluation due to a complaint that I looked "mean" and "unapproachable". Now to clarify, I work in administration and finance which means I need to concentrate. So I guess I'm supposed to be smiling at my computer screen? So ridiculous. I LOVE children actually, but I've never dreamed of having a family. I used to be told that I was "too young to know better" when I'd express my indifference. This was when I was between the ages of 18 and 24. Now. I'm too young to know what I want in my life but NOT too young to create a family? Sometimes I resent growing up in the South, but they say the grass is always greener. Seems like we're very similar! I barely managed to get a B in my Liberal Math class in college. I was super proud lol
@@nikiyikes5674 I wonder whether jerk extroverts that make such complaints, have the faintest idea what they're doing? It seems many of their goals evolve around trying to convert introverts into extroverts, and of course will fail miserably, so they then will resort to finding some way to punish you for remaining to be the oddball. Twenty percent of the population are introverts, so yeah, they've failed miserably. And yes, us introverts never forget how they treated us, which in many cases I'm sure, actually made the "introvert problem" worse, not better. Make us feel bad, treat us like second class citizens, and see how uncharmed we are by you. For many of them, that's their system, to chastise those whom won't play their little games, like always going to all the parties, etc. Funny, come to think of it, but no matter how young I was, no extrovert EVER invited me to a party. I had one at a friend's house when I was about seven, and I might had actually been an extrovert at the time. The only reason we ever had that party, was because my sister and their son had the same birthday (but years apart). I don't think his parents liked us very much, besides, I think the silly societal norm back then was if they invited your kids to their house, you then had to invite their kids to yours some time, and my parents just weren't into that. So one party, and that was it😂. From what little I recall of that party, it seemed like I had a good time. Mostly just eating cake and ice cream, etc. When I worked in IT, there was one low-life woman that decided to make an anonymous complaint about me and said NOBODY liked me, yet I had been working there 22 years, while her only one (she worked in my area on another shift). I got my pay frozen for one year. She was projecting, because virtually nobody liked that witch, but for a moment, I really started to wonder if people were hating me behind my back. Sure, I had some more-or-less enemies, but the whole bunch? So I took the half I thought favored me the most (certainly not her) and I let them in on what was going on, and they said that she was out of her mind that they had no problem with me. The hilarious thing was what she really wanted to nail me for, was me refusing to do second shift's job, and fill out a report each shift had to fill out (I did my shift only). My boss told me to encourage 2nd shift to do it, but they basically ignored this on numerous occasions. This meant that she had to do it since it had to be ready for their morning meeting. Had I been in her shoes, I like to think the explanation she would had given me, would had sufficed and then not stab her in the back, by making garbage up, and all along her reason to attack me she couldn't address at all, so I just kept on not doing it. So even in defeat, I had something of a sweet victory😎. They put me on probation for a while, and I was supposed to fix this thing about me not being liked. My whole effort amounted to the questionnaire I mentioned earlier, which took a whole two minutes of my time, and I ignored it thereafter. The boss told me, after the ninety days, I passed with flying colors, though there was no attempt whatsoever to see whether I did anything or not. It may be one, or more, of those I questioned, decided to make sure my boss knew I wasn't hated that much. Yes, while it is necessary to get along with fellow workers, I worked in IT, so it wasn't like my not being Mr. Sunshine had any effect elsewhere. In fact, virtually all the users were women, and I can't think of one that didn't get on with me very well. They didn't have to depend on me doing second shift's duties apparently🤣.
Thank you! I know there will be some INTJ's who might not agree with me 100% because we are all very different people in the end. I'm so happy there's people out there who think the same.
The last one is so on point. We are not impulsive with decision making. On the contrary, we make decisions very carefully. Sometimes , we just need more info to make a decision because of that carefulness. And when we get that necessary piece of info, then we make a decision. To ppl, it looks like it’s random. But internally, it’s not. Because we spent a lot of time thinking about it in our head already
Also I really agree with needing time on your own to recharge and that reading the room drains you even more. My "N" is my highest scoring quality as an INTJ and it's like the noise never stops until I'm completely alone.
Great job of efficiently explaining the INTJ perspective regarding the points on your list. I enjoyed this. Also, you are pleasant to look at. Very pretty.
Just like an INTJ @Niki yikes, we don’t hear from you for a while, because you are processing many things in your mind, then you pop up out of nowhere.
I like your point about being able to focus on the details if they actually do matter. I do a lot of cooking and since the "bigger picture" is how good my food taste, then I will actually pay very close attention to detail. So for example, I'll experiment and try a lot of different brands and ingredients to see how they impact the taste and quality and if the details have a large impact on the taste, then I will be sure to follow those small details exactly.
What is a great thing to develop for INTJ is their Se function. It is imperative INTJ's understand that their spidy-senses can be tuned better when experiencing the outside world in different ways.
Good video along with the one about love and romance....cluelessness. Sigh, I'm just finding my personality type as an INTJ..over the past few months. I've always been different but never took the MB test... It's eye opening and so relatable. I work in Healthcare,I almost get into a hyperfocused mode...details are everywhere and it's exciting to problem solve with that energy. It can be frustrating to see careless mistakes, lack of work ethic and the same co workers making the same mistakes, year after yr!. I jabe a need to learn and improve myself first. I would never expect anyone to do want i haven't done first. Some co workers label my drive as..OCD but I think it's more associated with others lack of accountability. I put 100% into my passion for advocating for patient care. It often feels like no one gets it. INTJs, I think are so underappreciated. We almost live in a place like oxygen does...No one sees us, we are invisible/ behind the scenes. People take us for granted because we are always consistently there..dependable, trusted to do the right thing. Our importance is only recognized when we remove ourselves...We strive to be selfless and always willing to help others. We have many faults but overall only seek to resolve problems, assist, heal and help take care of the needs of others.. as I can only speak for myself...yet..... If you refuse to help yourself or misuse our good intentions/ acts of service...you might be left without your much needed oxygen, wondering why, while gasping for air.
As an entp in China,it's a kind difficult to understand all of the video...BUT such nice speaking voice made me wanna watch repeatedly lol.Can't wait to watch the next video!!!
@@nikiyikes5674 Hope u can enjoy ur time in korea at the future😁It's so strange that I heard most of asians are eager to head in western countries,especially the U.S(incuding me)...but for you it seems quite the opposite😂
@DrMAD oioi Just speaking from first hand experience that introversion is a wide spectrum and that such generalizations can't be validated, and need to be taken with a grain of salt. The Ni may be solitude seeking but the Te requires outside human interaction. Perhaps it's the Fi that makes us seem cold and that's where that stereotype comes from, but that doesn't make the INTJ any more reclusive but independent. I would say that INTJ's are the most misunderstood.
The marriage/children thing really hits home. I like children but that does not mean I want to make them, be financially responsible for their healthcare, change diapers, or bail them out of jail! This is why I lost many boyfriends; apparently they didn't believe me when I told them I ain't making babies, ever. Now, past menopause and retired, at least they don't expect it anymore (or worse, pretend to agree and then try to change me!) and I have a wonderful long-term boyfriend who has reasonable expectations. The clothing/color thing really bites, too. Some complexions simply look better in blue, black, or grey and not in orange, red, or yellow. I never wear white near the face because it makes my teeth look less white, and because white is too hard to keep clean. Practicality matters.
This is so accurate that, despite our alleged unemotional nature, I think I should give your video at least 10 (or 11) likes. Very well explained. I can relate Thank you
I thinks others forget that not everyone is exactly what they appear to be. Quiet people can be the happiest, and the loudest people can suffer from depression. I just wish everything wasn't so "surface level". I wouldn't have to put on such a friendly appearance for my work and I'd probably enjoy things more without burning out. I'm glad you enjoyed the video!
@@nikiyikes5674 :yes, I guess many take others at face value, but I think that nobody is the only version of him-/herself. The goal is to remain truthful to oneself and to master it to become one's best version. Well, that is how I see it at least.
I am romantically clueless most times in that, if someone likes me and may be flirting, I likely won't notice. Unless someone eventually says 'GIRL, I LIKE YOU,' I don't notice.😂
If I had to summarize my life as an INTJ with one sound, it would be 2:54 - 2:58! One cannot imagine how often I make this sound internally or externally on a daily basis, including the slight shake of the hands and the upward stare in complete exasperation from the incompatible situations that other people put me in constantly.
This is interesting. I'm also an intj who lived in Korea for a couple years. I didn't like real much though, I preferred living in Switzerland. I can't really see the tattoo on your left arm but I have a volcano on my left arm that has similar markings.
I view it as more of a struggle to understand people's emotional response to a situation. Especially in situations where immediate action needs to be taken. There will be plenty of time later to cry.
After talking with a fellow INTJ - I realised how it feels to be on the receiving end. Because there are no signs that they care about you - you perceive them as heartless and that will drive a normal person away and they will feel insulted. I do the same thing myself to other people - Show no emotions toward them at all - I'm only throwing logic at them IE Okay so you have that problem - you need to do this to address that - instead of Oh No! That's awful - you poor thing - let me hug you! - which is what they were actually looking for. Asking an INTJ for emotional support is a mistake. That's not one of their superpowers! Unfortunately emotional support is what people are looking for mostly - not practical solutions to their problem.
Not really geniuses, we just love to learn; even the seemingly useless information to some. It may seem "genius" because we can process things and know when to use them.
Yes see through the mask. It happen alot to me when an INFj Is right in front. I spot them so easily. Always look to me that they playing a character at least lot of them.
but wait, i need more on the staring thing. what if its a constant stare and its every time i encounter this INTJ ?? and if she's not staring she's, what seems to me as, a very intentional i don't even exist thing happening ???
Sometimes, I wish that I was a robot. I have always found the robots in books, movies, games etc. to be my favorite characters. As a kid, I pretended I was a robot when other kids were pretending to be cowboys, astronauts, sports stars, singers etc. I wish I was totally in control of my emotions, thoughts, actions etc. I'm good at hiding emotions and at refusing to let them control my decisions, but I still feel deeply. Sometimes, too deeply. I enjoy being married and at times, I am very grateful for the help and support of my wife. I am indeed ambivalent at best about having kids though. If it happens, it happens, but I don't believe that we need to have kids to feel fulfilled or content in our relationship. I am relieved that my wife genuinely believes this as well. We've been married 18 years and are almost in our 50's, so it's becoming less and less likely that we'll have kids. We're fine with it. I pretty much live inside my mind, so I usually ignore what I look like or how I'm coming across. At times, I ignore the world around me to the point that I'm practically meditating. People see me doing that and think I'm just staring off into space.
There's this innate distaste of the idea of conforming to romantic norms or expectation because most of them are forms of ego-stroking. I don't believe that's genuine love, well sure I can give in from time to time if that ensures your personal growth but just for the sake of it, naaaah.
Is it possible for an infj to transition into An intj in later years , I used to be very emotional, yet rational but after some life transitions that were brutal I seem to have lost my feeling side a lot... amd only go by rational.
It's a lot more complicated than that. Read about the conginative functions of an INFJ and then of an INTJ. The tests are very unreliable, but typically our personailty types don't change. That doesn't mean we can't grow as people and develop, however. I'm a lot more capable of focusing on details and the present world than when I was younger, but I'm still an INTJ.
very unfortunate that i wasn't able to encounter you in real life. we could've been a perfect couple. you're literally female me. hopefully in the other life.
INTJ are robots, isn't really inaccurate for me. I constantly feel like I'm writing mental programs on how to react to each thing. Each program is constantly being updated with new information. If I learn something I believed was true, I will update that program. If that program was a Foundational program, it can completely change the way I think, and can take a great deal of time to adapt to this new information, and I'll probably continue to run into other programs that this information has effected, and I need to update. So in that way, I feel a bit like a robot.
INTP here, could you please fix the crooked frame in the background ? :D (Edit after rewatch: I was zoned out, any resemblance to fact #5 is purely coincidental) Other than that, I liked the facts that I was focused enough to "process"...
This comment made me laugh and go look at my pictures with a critical eye. You see, it's meant to NOT be level. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it!) Thanks for the hilarious comment :)
@@nikiyikes5674 You're very.. well.. encouraged to share another video in which you explain your thoughts on the "crooked big picture" That's funny because, me and my INTP housemate & friend often argue about how our new pictures must be perfectly aligned and leveled...*sigh* I guess I'm gonna have to watch your next videos from a different angle 😊 I like you.r story anyway, keep it up :)
Sweetest death stare ever, lovely intj woman! Stone cold intj here, I hate relationships cos they make me addicted isfp or infp, women s "let's make him jealous" tactic kills feelings instantly...later "let's show up" tactics make me angry, mad...like proudly waving a flag with "hey, I've got a pussycat for you" written on it.who with their right mind would bet to lose potential relationship? 99.2% of the women! Love to play mind games...not with intj, ladies... Very deep reflection, scapegoat for unhappy life found, partners fault, inner unhappiness unloaded over SB else, who are they lying???
your answers were almost 95% like what I would say if anyone asked me these questions, thanks, this video definitely would be useful for anyone who likes to know INTJs Is your eneagram 5w4?
I know I am type 5 at 100% and was almost type 8 at 80%. Type four was number three at 77%. I'm unsure of how the "wings" work, however. It didn't say.
Hey I see a lot comments on how she calls out. I just love how she actually is a INTJ so that’s why she says it. I do the same but am to shy to post, she brave and proud of her. Her relationship part...cuz people don’t get what love/relationship do to people only INTJ can see and now i should stop I could go on. And on and on. Have great day great video girl! ✊🏻🥰🥞🥓
I would say that we appear arrogant when we got "facts" and "knowledge" from someone who isn't an expert on that field. We listen to that information but we won't accept it. If that information comes from a more reliable source, we will probably accept it. In romance we aren't clueless - once an INTJ learn how to see the clues others give us, we can easily connect the dots but at first it doesn't come easy. Also we probably won't react to it until it's clear from the other person because we don't want to fall for stupid hopes. We aren't geniuses we just like to read probably everything we come across and most importantly, we have an interest in. Because I'm interested in plant genetics but I'm not only reading about that topic but about everything related to genetic on the level I can still understand, because I'm not an expert. Also we mostly like to connect the dots and that's what make us look like geniuses.
By your comment it sounds like you're not an INTJ? Your description above could fit anyone of any personality type (anyone who experiences trauma, rejection, or depression). As an INTJ, I can say this does not ring true for me. I'm quite rooted in reality. Thanks for the comment.
I guess we are trying to connect the world we live in with the place we have envisioned for the future. Depending on our current environment, we might decide to be more or less removed from it based on the value we see in interacting with it (and potentially avoid any trauma that we might receive - this was particularly difficult for me as a child).
Coz you're so boring for a personality composed of iq180s :) And they realise you could never possibly interest them for long enough to waste the time. So that's it that's your explanation but keep your presumptions since it doesn't seem you have the processing power to arrive at the truth of the facts
@@anonygent Still a great compliment because INTJ brains are probably the most nutritious, even if said zombies don't care about nutrition and just want some head meat to munch on. lol
@@jesusisjerryallahistom Well, not all INTJ's have the same upbringing or come from the same country, culture, and so forth. Humans are born with personalities straight out of the gate. Nature vs nurture is always an interesting topic and it does play a role on emotional development. For example, an INTJ who spends their whole life experiencing rejection or being judged by their family may grow up unable to relate to others, or they may grow up to be more empathic towards others because of what they experienced. An INTJ who grew up in a loving home may have an easier time expressing love, or they may resent those who express it freely since it was expected of them to return affection. There's not a black or white way to explain it or a clear answer that can be given. We're born with a personality and what we experience in life can shape that personality in many different ways. That results in there being no INTJ like the other (same with other personality types). So INTJ's, in my opinion, are born, but the emotional maturity, ability to connect with others, and so forth, are shaped by our environment.
@@nikiyikes5674 thanks for the insight: i understand that the personality type is born related then the social environment shape it. cheers sis, lots of love.
Why Korea? For me, I discovered K-Pop girl groups could rock, so now I am interested in the language so I can understand what they are saying. Stan Mamamoo!
Of course, if you try analyzing other people's perspective, many of those stereotypes are "justified" even if way off. It's just that us logical introverts are a bit hard to read properly :) Emotionless robots? Well, if they constantly pit emotion versus logic versus even more emotions - yes we'll end up siding with hard logic and override the illogical. Just give a chance to align emotions with logic - then we'll gladly join in making it work. Unfortunately, often there is also the cursed cycle: having different values -> getting non-standard emotional response to something -> being ridiculed over it (on top of not really wanting to share everything with others in the first place) -> emotional trauma (on top of preferring logic over emotions anyway) -> hiding emotions and losing touch with others even further -> even more non-conform values. Spontaneous random decisions? Ahahahahaha... Anything big surely involves a ton of research and planning, we just don't rub half-baked plans into everyone's faces. In fact, between hard to track logic (especially if with plenty of not widely known data) and overall ability to pull off complex things on our own, we just learn that showing big projects too early usually leads to dismissal and discouragement - and then the people still get surprised when it works in the end. And if predictability in non-standard pursuits leads to deliberate opposition from conformists, then we learn to appreciate some unpredictability! But yeah, we may suddenly pull something out of "maybe someday" bag if situation aligns with particular idea. Bad at reading people? More like not interested in empty social games. Some may actually be pretty good at people reading, just not showing it until they can make meaningful contribution. Others may have thrown away any desire to learn this sort of social dynamics. But still that doesn't negate the ability to recognize logical dissonance (and if broken logic is the rules, then we prefer to stay out) Arrogant? To recognize competence (or lack of thereof) one needs certain competence level. Sometimes we just realize that the job will be done only if we get it done. Funnily enough, they may have the same negative response both when you give them the solution right away and when you try helping them to figure it on their own. Maybe also different ways on recognizing and approving authority. Weird romance (and also friendship) preferences? I guess we just value being true to ourselves more than following any stereotypes (and then what? living forever with another mask? betraying expectations by revealing yourself later? Hoping that hidden parts will accidentally click with someone while playing standard routines?). Yeah, we may approach the matter "wrong" way around, but who is to decide right and wrong for something this subjective? Big picture? Totally agree with you, we step over details when we already deemed those irrelevant (or when we found the way to account for them without giving much attention). Misunderstandings start when others fail to follow our train of thought, and quickly planned yet safe trajectory seems as dumb luck not slipping on little things on the way. Hah, I don't always remember what I did 5 minutes ago (or when exactly I did something), I just know the necessary steps are done. Just don't demand a pointless report on each step. But that's how we are - introverts quite happily living in our own heads. And if others don't truly get it... we don't mind too much. P.S. I'm likely slightly more of INTP, but last letter is quite unstable and I seem to switch between both. Anyway, most of these things seem pretty universal for INTx
Great analysis. You brought up so many points that I feel like I have to scream at some people and throw a table while doing backflips just so they get it. Every one of us are going to be different, so to say all of "this type" are "this way" drives me insane lol
@@nikiyikes5674 True, everyone is different in some way, and the types are not 100% solid either. But some types are better at conforming with "average" (or pretending to conform), and others are better at ignoring the conformism. And stereotypes are just that - when people see something so far from the "usual" (and/or difficult to read) that nuances are lost and everything gets thrown in a single pile
Yes the romantically clueless thing is definitely not true. I've always been very good at picking up the subtle signs that people like each other. My friends back in school years used to beg me for my opinion even. I am well aware of what most people find romantic and can go along with it (if I want). I think the only thing I can think of as an INTJ that I can be really clueless about is comforting an upset person. I've researched and try my best but even my best sucks compared to most people.
I can relate to not being able to comfort people. I'm just terrible at it. In my opinion there's just not really anything you can say that will fix their problem. Especially if someone they love has passed, I always feel like I shouldn't say anything because I feel like it could just make them feel worse. All I can do is sit there and listen.
@@briannamorrison380 Yep! I just sit there and listen too. Trying to stay engaged and completely exhausted figuring out what to say. Then some feeling type swoops in and says the perfect thing. Makes the person feel so much better like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
All anyone knows, in my opinion, is how THEY would want to be comforted. It just so happens a lot of people require similar things lol I will just simple ask "Do you want my opinion or advice, or do you just want to vent so it's not eating at you?" I find this works wonders for my best friend of 12 years who is an ESFJ. Gosh, we've had some falling outs over misunderstandings. But we love each other so we try to learn and move forward. I listen quietly because that's what she wants, and she does her best to give me advice though she never knows what to say. We try!
1:20 that sounds like "arrogance" doesn't exist among INTJs. Just as ignorant as the answer u tried to provide. The real answer in a nutshellwould be "straightforwardness".
Yes, although not just dating but marriage as well. For example, they can enjoy marital bliss by having sex while being on birth control without feeling pressure to ever have kids if the INTJ boy and INTJ girl both agree that raising children are not a part of their life goals.
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Dedicating life to learning. Yes, so true 💙
I had never heard that INTJ's don't want to get married or have kids, but that was me. I did get married but I should've stuck to my intuition instead. At least I didn't have any kids. I've been called emotionless by numerous people, yet they were often the beneficiaries of my ability to think and stay calm, cool and collected when things were going sideways and everyone else was panicking and losing their shit. I have emotions like everyone else. The difference is that I am not controlled by my emotions.
Wow, you are honestly the only person I've been able to really relate to possibly in my whole life. Everything you say is so spot on. I get told all the time that I look mean or upset. I get told I should smile more and talk more. It's so annoying. I think people should smile when they genuinely feel like smiling and say something when they genuinely have something to say. You are right when You said we like things to be true and genuine. I hate feeling like I have to be fake or if someone is fake to me. The subject of children also hits home with me. So many people just can't handle it when you tell them you don't want children . I've also been told I'll die alone. Having children still doesn't guarantee that they will take care of you when you're old. Do you know how many elderly parents out there are being neglected by their "children"? Nothing is ever certain. I'm good at seeing through people's masks. I can pretty much tell what a person is all about within the first day I meet them. I can relate to being bad at math. lol. I'm also into art and science. I really love history too.
I have a job that (normally) requires a lot of in-person interactions. I ended up getting marked off on my yearly evaluation due to a complaint that I looked "mean" and "unapproachable". Now to clarify, I work in administration and finance which means I need to concentrate. So I guess I'm supposed to be smiling at my computer screen? So ridiculous. I LOVE children actually, but I've never dreamed of having a family. I used to be told that I was "too young to know better" when I'd express my indifference. This was when I was between the ages of 18 and 24. Now. I'm too young to know what I want in my life but NOT too young to create a family? Sometimes I resent growing up in the South, but they say the grass is always greener. Seems like we're very similar! I barely managed to get a B in my Liberal Math class in college. I was super proud lol
@@nikiyikes5674 I wonder whether jerk extroverts that make such complaints, have the faintest idea what they're doing? It seems many of their goals evolve around trying to convert introverts into extroverts, and of course will fail miserably, so they then will resort to finding some way to punish you for remaining to be the oddball. Twenty percent of the population are introverts, so yeah, they've failed miserably. And yes, us introverts never forget how they treated us, which in many cases I'm sure, actually made the "introvert problem" worse, not better. Make us feel bad, treat us like second class citizens, and see how uncharmed we are by you. For many of them, that's their system, to chastise those whom won't play their little games, like always going to all the parties, etc. Funny, come to think of it, but no matter how young I was, no extrovert EVER invited me to a party. I had one at a friend's house when I was about seven, and I might had actually been an extrovert at the time. The only reason we ever had that party, was because my sister and their son had the same birthday (but years apart). I don't think his parents liked us very much, besides, I think the silly societal norm back then was if they invited your kids to their house, you then had to invite their kids to yours some time, and my parents just weren't into that. So one party, and that was it😂. From what little I recall of that party, it seemed like I had a good time. Mostly just eating cake and ice cream, etc.
When I worked in IT, there was one low-life woman that decided to make an anonymous complaint about me and said NOBODY liked me, yet I had been working there 22 years, while her only one (she worked in my area on another shift). I got my pay frozen for one year. She was projecting, because virtually nobody liked that witch, but for a moment, I really started to wonder if people were hating me behind my back. Sure, I had some more-or-less enemies, but the whole bunch? So I took the half I thought favored me the most (certainly not her) and I let them in on what was going on, and they said that she was out of her mind that they had no problem with me. The hilarious thing was what she really wanted to nail me for, was me refusing to do second shift's job, and fill out a report each shift had to fill out (I did my shift only). My boss told me to encourage 2nd shift to do it, but they basically ignored this on numerous occasions. This meant that she had to do it since it had to be ready for their morning meeting. Had I been in her shoes, I like to think the explanation she would had given me, would had sufficed and then not stab her in the back, by making garbage up, and all along her reason to attack me she couldn't address at all, so I just kept on not doing it. So even in defeat, I had something of a sweet victory😎.
They put me on probation for a while, and I was supposed to fix this thing about me not being liked. My whole effort amounted to the questionnaire I mentioned earlier, which took a whole two minutes of my time, and I ignored it thereafter. The boss told me, after the ninety days, I passed with flying colors, though there was no attempt whatsoever to see whether I did anything or not. It may be one, or more, of those I questioned, decided to make sure my boss knew I wasn't hated that much. Yes, while it is necessary to get along with fellow workers, I worked in IT, so it wasn't like my not being Mr. Sunshine had any effect elsewhere. In fact, virtually all the users were women, and I can't think of one that didn't get on with me very well. They didn't have to depend on me doing second shift's duties apparently🤣.
What an awesome video. You've called out all the stereotypes.
You know the INTJ personality on a deep level. Amazing.
Thank you! I know there will be some INTJ's who might not agree with me 100% because we are all very different people in the end. I'm so happy there's people out there who think the same.
The last one is so on point.
We are not impulsive with decision making.
On the contrary, we make decisions very carefully.
Sometimes , we just need more info to make a decision because of that carefulness.
And when we get that necessary piece of info, then we make a decision.
To ppl, it looks like it’s random.
But internally, it’s not.
Because we spent a lot of time thinking about it in our head already
Also I really agree with needing time on your own to recharge and that reading the room drains you even more. My "N" is my highest scoring quality as an INTJ and it's like the noise never stops until I'm completely alone.
Great job of efficiently explaining the INTJ perspective regarding the points on your list. I enjoyed this.
Also, you are pleasant to look at. Very pretty.
Thank you!
Thank you Niki, for being out there and fighting for us INTJs to be better understood.
Just like an INTJ @Niki yikes, we don’t hear from you for a while, because you are processing many things in your mind, then you pop up out of nowhere.
Lol that Deathly Hallows choker is sick.
Probably one of the more convincing INTJs on youtube. Thank you for this
I haven't watched other INTJ's, but thank you for commenting!
Your videos have been great for helping my husband understand what I haven’t been able to put in words about myself!
I'm so glad! I know my opinions and experiences won't match everyone, but I'm happy you got something out of my videos.
I like your point about being able to focus on the details if they actually do matter. I do a lot of cooking and since the "bigger picture" is how good my food taste, then I will actually pay very close attention to detail. So for example, I'll experiment and try a lot of different brands and ingredients to see how they impact the taste and quality and if the details have a large impact on the taste, then I will be sure to follow those small details exactly.
What is a great thing to develop for INTJ is their Se function. It is imperative INTJ's understand that their spidy-senses can be tuned better when experiencing the outside world in different ways.
Good video along with the one about love and romance....cluelessness.
Sigh, I'm just finding my personality type as an INTJ..over the past few months. I've always been different but never took the MB test... It's eye opening and so relatable. I work in Healthcare,I almost get into a hyperfocused mode...details are everywhere and it's exciting to problem solve with that energy. It can be frustrating to see careless mistakes, lack of work ethic and the same co workers making the same mistakes, year after yr!. I jabe a need to learn and improve myself first. I would never expect anyone to do want i haven't done first. Some co workers label my drive as..OCD but I think it's more associated with others lack of accountability. I put 100% into my passion for advocating for patient care. It often feels like no one gets it. INTJs, I think are so underappreciated.
We almost live in a place like oxygen does...No one sees us, we are invisible/ behind the scenes. People take us for granted because we are always consistently there..dependable, trusted to do the right thing. Our importance is only recognized when we remove ourselves...We strive to be selfless and always willing to help others. We have many faults but overall only seek to resolve problems, assist, heal and help take care of the needs of others.. as I can only speak for myself...yet..... If you refuse to help yourself or misuse our good intentions/ acts of service...you might be left without your much needed oxygen, wondering why, while gasping for air.
As an INTJ, we have to act smart by putting ourselves out sometimes. By this way, we can get a lot of power over people as we are really effective.
Great breakdown. Like any puzzle we appeal to the curious :)
As an entp in China,it's a kind difficult to understand all of the video...BUT such nice speaking voice made me wanna watch repeatedly lol.Can't wait to watch the next video!!!
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my voice lol
@@nikiyikes5674 Hope u can enjoy ur time in korea at the future😁It's so strange that I heard most of asians are eager to head in western countries,especially the U.S(incuding me)...but for you it seems quite the opposite😂
"INTJs are the most introverted."
INTP: "How much can I dispute this, whilst talking as little as possible?"
I'm not deeply introverted. Perhaps as a whole INTJ's are.
@DrMAD oioi Not me.
@DrMAD oioi Just speaking from first hand experience that introversion is a wide spectrum and that such generalizations can't be validated, and need to be taken with a grain of salt. The Ni may be solitude seeking but the Te requires outside human interaction. Perhaps it's the Fi that makes us seem cold and that's where that stereotype comes from, but that doesn't make the INTJ any more reclusive but independent.
I would say that INTJ's are the most misunderstood.
Well done. Thank you for explaining these truths clearly!!
Hahahaha I can totally relate to this video! Thanks for making these! INTJ for life.
Thank you for commenting!
The marriage/children thing really hits home. I like children but that does not mean I want to make them, be financially responsible for their healthcare, change diapers, or bail them out of jail! This is why I lost many boyfriends; apparently they didn't believe me when I told them I ain't making babies, ever. Now, past menopause and retired, at least they don't expect it anymore (or worse, pretend to agree and then try to change me!) and I have a wonderful long-term boyfriend who has reasonable expectations.
The clothing/color thing really bites, too. Some complexions simply look better in blue, black, or grey and not in orange, red, or yellow. I never wear white near the face because it makes my teeth look less white, and because white is too hard to keep clean. Practicality matters.
7:52 Your cat just blew its cover heh.
This is so accurate that, despite our alleged unemotional nature, I think I should give your video at least 10 (or 11) likes.
Very well explained. I can relate
Thank you
I thinks others forget that not everyone is exactly what they appear to be. Quiet people can be the happiest, and the loudest people can suffer from depression. I just wish everything wasn't so "surface level". I wouldn't have to put on such a friendly appearance for my work and I'd probably enjoy things more without burning out. I'm glad you enjoyed the video!
@@nikiyikes5674 :yes, I guess many take others at face value, but I think that nobody is the only version of him-/herself. The goal is to remain truthful to oneself and to master it to become one's best version. Well, that is how I see it at least.
I am romantically clueless most times in that, if someone likes me and may be flirting, I likely won't notice. Unless someone eventually says 'GIRL, I LIKE YOU,' I don't notice.😂
The robots part though 😂❤️
I love INTJs!!
My videos don’t let me lie 😊
Great video btw!
- ENFP
If I had to summarize my life as an INTJ with one sound, it would be 2:54 - 2:58! One cannot imagine how often I make this sound internally or externally on a daily basis, including the slight shake of the hands and the upward stare in complete exasperation from the incompatible situations that other people put me in constantly.
So true.
This is interesting. I'm also an intj who lived in Korea for a couple years. I didn't like real much though, I preferred living in Switzerland.
I can't really see the tattoo on your left arm but I have a volcano on my left arm that has similar markings.
Great video, keep them coming! Super interesting and I can sooooooo relate. Thank you!
I view it as more of a struggle to understand people's emotional response to a situation. Especially in situations where immediate action needs to be taken. There will be plenty of time later to cry.
Overthinking overloaded then reoloded again.. ⌚ 24xseven
I like your style, you inspire me to create similar videos where i talk and reflect on topics like that
Do it! There's plenty of people out there who would love to watch. It's also pretty cathartic. I don't usually express myself this much.
@@nikiyikes5674 ok
After talking with a fellow INTJ - I realised how it feels to be on the receiving end. Because there are no signs that they care about you - you perceive them as heartless and that will drive a normal person away and they will feel insulted. I do the same thing myself to other people - Show no emotions toward them at all - I'm only throwing logic at them IE Okay so you have that problem - you need to do this to address that - instead of Oh No! That's awful - you poor thing - let me hug you! - which is what they were actually looking for. Asking an INTJ for emotional support is a mistake. That's not one of their superpowers! Unfortunately emotional support is what people are looking for mostly - not practical solutions to their problem.
Thank You
"Sometimes we just forget about our face..."
Yep haha
I’m an INTJ and am so misunderstood even for myself.
"INTJs know when we are the most knowledgeable about something."
Then immediately goes on to explain why that statement is so arrogant.
Not really geniuses, we just love to learn; even the seemingly useless information to some. It may seem "genius" because we can process things and know when to use them.
maybe this statement just applies to you
Great video, keep up👍🏻
"Do you want sympathy or do you want solutions?" ;-)
Yes see through the mask.
It happen alot to me when an INFj
Is right in front. I spot them so easily.
Always look to me that they playing a character at least lot of them.
Infj here. I do feel required to put on an act around people which is why I prefer to be alone.
but wait, i need more on the staring thing. what if its a constant stare and its every time i encounter this INTJ ??
and if she's not staring she's, what seems to me as, a very intentional i don't even exist thing happening ???
Sometimes, I wish that I was a robot. I have always found the robots in books, movies, games etc. to be my favorite characters. As a kid, I pretended I was a robot when other kids were pretending to be cowboys, astronauts, sports stars, singers etc. I wish I was totally in control of my emotions, thoughts, actions etc. I'm good at hiding emotions and at refusing to let them control my decisions, but I still feel deeply. Sometimes, too deeply.
I enjoy being married and at times, I am very grateful for the help and support of my wife. I am indeed ambivalent at best about having kids though. If it happens, it happens, but I don't believe that we need to have kids to feel fulfilled or content in our relationship. I am relieved that my wife genuinely believes this as well. We've been married 18 years and are almost in our 50's, so it's becoming less and less likely that we'll have kids. We're fine with it.
I pretty much live inside my mind, so I usually ignore what I look like or how I'm coming across. At times, I ignore the world around me to the point that I'm practically meditating. People see me doing that and think I'm just staring off into space.
There's this innate distaste of the idea of conforming to romantic norms or expectation because most of them are forms of ego-stroking. I don't believe that's genuine love, well sure I can give in from time to time if that ensures your personal growth but just for the sake of it, naaaah.
I only heard truths.
I really like the silence and being with myself
Is it possible for an infj to transition into An intj in later years , I used to be very emotional, yet rational but after some life transitions that were brutal I seem to have lost my feeling side a lot... amd only go by rational.
It's a lot more complicated than that. Read about the conginative functions of an INFJ and then of an INTJ. The tests are very unreliable, but typically our personailty types don't change. That doesn't mean we can't grow as people and develop, however. I'm a lot more capable of focusing on details and the present world than when I was younger, but I'm still an INTJ.
very unfortunate that i wasn't able to encounter you in real life. we could've been a perfect couple. you're literally female me. hopefully in the other life.
INTJ are robots, isn't really inaccurate for me. I constantly feel like I'm writing mental programs on how to react to each thing. Each program is constantly being updated with new information. If I learn something I believed was true, I will update that program. If that program was a Foundational program, it can completely change the way I think, and can take a great deal of time to adapt to this new information, and I'll probably continue to run into other programs that this information has effected, and I need to update.
So in that way, I feel a bit like a robot.
Beep* beep* bloop* bloop*
Robots with a SOUL underneath that cold calculating exterior.
I'm an INTJ.
INTJ brain decided to dissect the dating apps that are available rather than use them like they're supposed to because why?
I did to. They’re a scam.
INTP here, could you please fix the crooked frame in the background ? :D (Edit after rewatch: I was zoned out, any resemblance to fact #5 is purely coincidental)
Other than that, I liked the facts that I was focused enough to "process"...
This comment made me laugh and go look at my pictures with a critical eye. You see, it's meant to NOT be level. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it!) Thanks for the hilarious comment :)
@@nikiyikes5674 You're very.. well.. encouraged to share another video in which you explain your thoughts on the "crooked big picture"
That's funny because, me and my INTP housemate & friend often argue about how our new pictures must be perfectly aligned and leveled...*sigh*
I guess I'm gonna have to watch your next videos from a different angle 😊
I like you.r story anyway, keep it up :)
Science is the contender we secretly fear yet crave a big turn orn isn’t
Yay!
Niki - is the necklace a symbol of some kind?
we are wicked smart.
#bostonianintj
Sweetest death stare ever, lovely intj woman! Stone cold intj here, I hate relationships cos they make me addicted isfp or infp, women s "let's make him jealous" tactic kills feelings instantly...later "let's show up" tactics make me angry, mad...like proudly waving a flag with "hey, I've got a pussycat for you" written on it.who with their right mind would bet to lose potential relationship? 99.2% of the women! Love to play mind games...not with intj, ladies... Very deep reflection, scapegoat for unhappy life found, partners fault, inner unhappiness unloaded over SB else, who are they lying???
That’s a sad bad deal. People sometimes, right?
your answers were almost 95% like what I would say if anyone asked me these questions, thanks, this video definitely would be useful for anyone who likes to know INTJs
Is your eneagram 5w4?
I know I am type 5 at 100% and was almost type 8 at 80%. Type four was number three at 77%. I'm unsure of how the "wings" work, however. It didn't say.
Hey I see a lot comments on how she calls out. I just love how she actually is a INTJ so that’s why she says it. I do the same but am to shy to post, she brave and proud of her. Her relationship part...cuz people don’t get what love/relationship do to people only INTJ can see and now i should stop I could go on. And on and on. Have great day great video girl! ✊🏻🥰🥞🥓
accurate
I would say that we appear arrogant when we got "facts" and "knowledge" from someone who isn't an expert on that field. We listen to that information but we won't accept it. If that information comes from a more reliable source, we will probably accept it. In romance we aren't clueless - once an INTJ learn how to see the clues others give us, we can easily connect the dots but at first it doesn't come easy. Also we probably won't react to it until it's clear from the other person because we don't want to fall for stupid hopes. We aren't geniuses we just like to read probably everything we come across and most importantly, we have an interest in. Because I'm interested in plant genetics but I'm not only reading about that topic but about everything related to genetic on the level I can still understand, because I'm not an expert. Also we mostly like to connect the dots and that's what make us look like geniuses.
As an INTJ dude, INTJ women like you are my type. 😘
I feel like all INTJs are obsessed with Harry Potter. I have a lot of Harry Potter keychains :)
...are we are Slytherins by chance??? Or as I identity, Slytherclaw? :D
INTJ are distant and disconnected like they are living in a different reality.
By your comment it sounds like you're not an INTJ? Your description above could fit anyone of any personality type (anyone who experiences trauma, rejection, or depression). As an INTJ, I can say this does not ring true for me. I'm quite rooted in reality. Thanks for the comment.
I guess we are trying to connect the world we live in with the place we have envisioned for the future. Depending on our current environment, we might decide to be more or less removed from it based on the value we see in interacting with it (and potentially avoid any trauma that we might receive - this was particularly difficult for me as a child).
Coz you're so boring for a personality composed of iq180s :)
And they realise you could never possibly interest them for long enough to waste the time.
So that's it that's your explanation but keep your presumptions since it doesn't seem you have the processing power to arrive at the truth of the facts
Compared with your reality, indeed we are living in a different one.
i love your brain
That's the best compliment an INTJ can get. Thank you!
@@nikiyikes5674 Unless said by a zombie.
@@anonygent Still a great compliment because INTJ brains are probably the most nutritious, even if said zombies don't care about nutrition and just want some head meat to munch on. lol
how do women become so called INTJ?
We're just born. You are who you are, regardless of gender.
@@nikiyikes5674i see but i'd like you help me understand if the personality type is "born" related or "social experience" related?
@@jesusisjerryallahistom Well, not all INTJ's have the same upbringing or come from the same country, culture, and so forth. Humans are born with personalities straight out of the gate. Nature vs nurture is always an interesting topic and it does play a role on emotional development. For example, an INTJ who spends their whole life experiencing rejection or being judged by their family may grow up unable to relate to others, or they may grow up to be more empathic towards others because of what they experienced. An INTJ who grew up in a loving home may have an easier time expressing love, or they may resent those who express it freely since it was expected of them to return affection. There's not a black or white way to explain it or a clear answer that can be given. We're born with a personality and what we experience in life can shape that personality in many different ways. That results in there being no INTJ like the other (same with other personality types). So INTJ's, in my opinion, are born, but the emotional maturity, ability to connect with others, and so forth, are shaped by our environment.
@@nikiyikes5674 thanks for the insight: i understand that the personality type is born related then the social environment shape it. cheers sis, lots of love.
@@jesusisjerryallahistom That how I understand it and what I believe :) Glad I can help.
Why Korea? For me, I discovered K-Pop girl groups could rock, so now I am interested in the language so I can understand what they are saying. Stan Mamamoo!
Of course, if you try analyzing other people's perspective, many of those stereotypes are "justified" even if way off. It's just that us logical introverts are a bit hard to read properly :)
Emotionless robots? Well, if they constantly pit emotion versus logic versus even more emotions - yes we'll end up siding with hard logic and override the illogical. Just give a chance to align emotions with logic - then we'll gladly join in making it work.
Unfortunately, often there is also the cursed cycle: having different values -> getting non-standard emotional response to something -> being ridiculed over it (on top of not really wanting to share everything with others in the first place) -> emotional trauma (on top of preferring logic over emotions anyway) -> hiding emotions and losing touch with others even further -> even more non-conform values.
Spontaneous random decisions? Ahahahahaha... Anything big surely involves a ton of research and planning, we just don't rub half-baked plans into everyone's faces.
In fact, between hard to track logic (especially if with plenty of not widely known data) and overall ability to pull off complex things on our own, we just learn that showing big projects too early usually leads to dismissal and discouragement - and then the people still get surprised when it works in the end. And if predictability in non-standard pursuits leads to deliberate opposition from conformists, then we learn to appreciate some unpredictability!
But yeah, we may suddenly pull something out of "maybe someday" bag if situation aligns with particular idea.
Bad at reading people? More like not interested in empty social games. Some may actually be pretty good at people reading, just not showing it until they can make meaningful contribution. Others may have thrown away any desire to learn this sort of social dynamics. But still that doesn't negate the ability to recognize logical dissonance (and if broken logic is the rules, then we prefer to stay out)
Arrogant? To recognize competence (or lack of thereof) one needs certain competence level. Sometimes we just realize that the job will be done only if we get it done.
Funnily enough, they may have the same negative response both when you give them the solution right away and when you try helping them to figure it on their own.
Maybe also different ways on recognizing and approving authority.
Weird romance (and also friendship) preferences? I guess we just value being true to ourselves more than following any stereotypes (and then what? living forever with another mask? betraying expectations by revealing yourself later? Hoping that hidden parts will accidentally click with someone while playing standard routines?). Yeah, we may approach the matter "wrong" way around, but who is to decide right and wrong for something this subjective?
Big picture? Totally agree with you, we step over details when we already deemed those irrelevant (or when we found the way to account for them without giving much attention). Misunderstandings start when others fail to follow our train of thought, and quickly planned yet safe trajectory seems as dumb luck not slipping on little things on the way.
Hah, I don't always remember what I did 5 minutes ago (or when exactly I did something), I just know the necessary steps are done. Just don't demand a pointless report on each step.
But that's how we are - introverts quite happily living in our own heads. And if others don't truly get it... we don't mind too much.
P.S. I'm likely slightly more of INTP, but last letter is quite unstable and I seem to switch between both. Anyway, most of these things seem pretty universal for INTx
Great analysis. You brought up so many points that I feel like I have to scream at some people and throw a table while doing backflips just so they get it. Every one of us are going to be different, so to say all of "this type" are "this way" drives me insane lol
@@nikiyikes5674 True, everyone is different in some way, and the types are not 100% solid either. But some types are better at conforming with "average" (or pretending to conform), and others are better at ignoring the conformism. And stereotypes are just that - when people see something so far from the "usual" (and/or difficult to read) that nuances are lost and everything gets thrown in a single pile
INFP starting a business with an INTJ but got tired of helping him to accept Se and dealing with his delusional Ni. Had to learn Te and walked away.
Your cat slept through the entire video.
Honestly, it will probably never happen again. Badger does nothing but badger me. He fits his name.
Badger wants is ENFJ
Yes the romantically clueless thing is definitely not true. I've always been very good at picking up the subtle signs that people like each other. My friends back in school years used to beg me for my opinion even. I am well aware of what most people find romantic and can go along with it (if I want). I think the only thing I can think of as an INTJ that I can be really clueless about is comforting an upset person. I've researched and try my best but even my best sucks compared to most people.
I can relate to not being able to comfort people. I'm just terrible at it. In my opinion there's just not really anything you can say that will fix their problem. Especially if someone they love has passed, I always feel like I shouldn't say anything because I feel like it could just make them feel worse. All I can do is sit there and listen.
@@briannamorrison380 Yep! I just sit there and listen too. Trying to stay engaged and completely exhausted figuring out what to say. Then some feeling type swoops in and says the perfect thing. Makes the person feel so much better like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
All anyone knows, in my opinion, is how THEY would want to be comforted. It just so happens a lot of people require similar things lol I will just simple ask "Do you want my opinion or advice, or do you just want to vent so it's not eating at you?" I find this works wonders for my best friend of 12 years who is an ESFJ. Gosh, we've had some falling outs over misunderstandings. But we love each other so we try to learn and move forward. I listen quietly because that's what she wants, and she does her best to give me advice though she never knows what to say. We try!
What they see as arrogance most of the time is their projection of their lack of confidence in their own capabilities.
1:20 that sounds like "arrogance" doesn't exist among INTJs.
Just as ignorant as the answer u tried to provide. The real answer in a nutshellwould be "straightforwardness".
can a guy and a girl INTJ date
Yes, although not just dating but marriage as well. For example, they can enjoy marital bliss by having sex while being on birth control without feeling pressure to ever have kids if the INTJ boy and INTJ girl both agree that raising children are not a part of their life goals.
Your video does not compute.
the jingling sounds of your necklace (or whatever it is) are distracting
Intjs: supposedly the most arrogant
ESTJs: Am I a joke to you
It's a perception.