YEP.. My wife and can smear me all over.. I already Texted her on 11-11-2024 That GOD can see and hear everything you are telling your family about me.. GOD said, do not worry about what your wife is telling people.. Your fine. Always for 5 years accusing me of another women.. Always wants me in her site. I can have no friends. I say go jump in the lake. Crazy lady. Right now separated for 60 days. I left her with my phone. I told her family she has problems. ETC ETC Oh I am the bad man.. Really.
Everyone has a breaking point, and it's not like it's out of the blue either. They saw it coming, and didn't care. Quite the opposite, they turn up the heat. Wish them well and move on.
that was my experience. i literally told her that i would have to take the kids away from her for over a year before a major violence incident occured in front of the kids, and that was my queue to GTFO!
Truer words. I tried for 59 years to be a good daughter. When I decided enough I went no contact with my mother and lost my sister by default. Only continued forgiveness of the matriarch would keep this mess together and I was done.
Yes that puzzles me. They are given warning like me moving into the spare room three times over the years and telling them how their behaviour affects the relationship. Then when I finally left they act shocked. What is that about? .
I changed my number and we live apart in different cities about 1 hour away , I went dark on Social Media and closed my accounts . I just want to stay under the Radar right now while working on healing and finding myself again.
@@mr.anderson3369My mother, my sister, my son’s mother, and my cousin are all malignant narcissists. I understand the game far too well - and I disengage because it’s just not worth it
He will never get a chance to soeak to me, he's blocked on all fronts. Even if he walked past me and spoke, I will act like he doesn't exist . I will not entertain a demon, game over!
None of them are wrong, none of them need help, none of them need to change, and all of them should get their way and control 100% of the time. They are perfect, and we don't deserve them.
When you disappear and go no contact like forever...drives them batty. They obsess and ruminate about you. They become emotionally stunted and feel not sufficent enough, they become paranoid and experience delusions. You have hurt them and their ego, and sense of grandiosity. Big narcissistic collapse.
@@Prometheuspredator After which they will do anything to seak revenge for such hence the stalking and fake accounts,friends requests.They require your adulation to survive.
@@nessauk2786 True. I went no contact and have had nothing to do with them for years. I cut off the relationships secretly and said nothing. They can stalk me, smear my name, obsess about me and the whole gamet, but l don't care. I don't owe them anything. I live my life with peace and happiness and that is what I care about.
@fredaankobia4447 Most definately very dangerous as that is why I mentioned going contact...forever. To never return their attempts to contact you...total blackout.
Not easy to talk about because you don't see it coming, never hurt them, and then they don't like the exact same person for years. I'm out. Quietly going no contact. Sad. But life is a mixed bag. I know who I am and like myself for having strong morals, and am happy. Run Forest Run
I recently terminated what I thought was a 40-yr friendship because it wasn't a friendship. I was just being used for the narcissist to get their supply.
I’m loving this. I ditched 3 ppl in my life that are all narcissists and I can’t saying I’m missing any of them. They all are miserable and like stealing others joy.
What she says is true. However long you know your narcissist or personal bully, they do not possess the capacity for change. They never understand the depth of the damage they do to you. Once you've had enough and you move on, it takes them some time to miss you. THEY MISS putting you down so they can stand taller [on your head], they run out of people to victimize, they don't get as many calls or answers anymore; therefore, they seek you out. Old faithful who falls into the rabbit hole they dig. Once you _truly_ move on, you start hearing questions. "Why don't you?" "How come you don't answer my calls?" "Don't you remember all that I did for you?" The list goes on. Don't feel guilty if you owe them nothing, and they need to take personal stock and owe you apologies. LIVE YOUR LIFE.
My girlfriend was in a relationship with a narcissist for three year. He were physically and emotionally abusive. After she finally called it quits, initially he was sending her messages saying "I am so glad it's over" along with other nasty messages that involved a bit of swearing. When he realised that she wasn't coming back to him and things were over for good, the situation got very sticky, especially for the both of us. It wasn't nice at all, I copped a lot of threatening/abusive messages, he then tried attacking us on Facebook, then going around town saying things about us to people we knew. I'm pretty sure other people reading this comment might have been through the same thing.
22 years I spent. Im 55 and when I decided to leave, I did exactly that. No Contact. I didnt even know what narcissism was or codependency. I started googling things and found a quiz. skewed it in his favor and I learned all about him. Then it was time to learn why I...... and learn all about the role I played. There are two players in the game only one doesn't know its a game and is sincere in intent. Only to get royally screwed over when the time is right for them. Be careful. Be very very careful with these people. Male or female.
She tried that twice and I didn’t respond to her either times she just wants to win…What she doesn’t understand is IDC at all. I’m in control of my own self, my purpose and my destiny❤
Excellent message. The narc formerly in my life followed the pattern you described, including hoovering, surreptitious smear campaign, and recruiting a flying monkey to smear me in public three times.
1991- I was 27. Lived with my mother. Came home from work to find ALL my clothes & posessions in garbage bags on the curb for the garbage truck. Inside my mother & her best friend having cigarettes and laughing at me. I left her for over a year. After that, communication with her was on MY terms!
Hey Anoushka! Another great video as per usual. I’ve got an older sibling where what you’ve explained fits like a glove. As far as I’m concerned, she can smear me all she wants. She even comes into public spaces where she knows I will be. All this makes no difference to me because as far as I’m concerned, she’s dead. I don’t want nothing to do with her. The peace that I have without her is wonderful and I’m loving it. Keep doing your thing Anoushka! Much love to ya!🥰
They do that, acting all sweet. Ex called me 8 times in a row, after I left, saying he feels guilty etc. this is after like a month previously when he called me up and screamed at me accusing me of cheating on him and stealing his money. He subsequently found it hidden in a cupboard in a room that I didn't have the key to. The accusation, not knowing my character, after financially contributing to the home, whilst he was not even working, was more off putting than the verbal rage. I had plenty off opportunity to cheat because he would turn his back in the bedroom yet I never did. Put off forever.
I have not seen my mom the narcissist in over four years and I got a knock on the door from the police department is issuing a domestic violence case, a week later, I was served with an elderly abuse case. The level of deception and lies she’s willing to tell is mind-boggling. She claimed that she feared for her life and the judge gave her a guardian. This honestly could be a made for TV movie. I’m 100% sure this is narcissism. Just not sure if I’m dealing with a covert or malignant one.
'Covert' or 'malignant' are just phases of the narcissistic personality disorder decourse. Every NPD person can go 'covert' or 'malignant' for years or months. My 74 yo mother had been in to the 'cvert' mask for the most of her life, but she had been 'overt' inside the home for two decades, from the 50s to now. NPD is a 'dense' psychotic disease. Take care of your self.
@@fabiopapalia wow, I had no idea that you could move around, and I always thought of the phase as a identity. I’m at a point now, where I need to decide if I show the police that the police report was under false pretenses thus giving my mom a felony. I just need her to stop. It’s costing me tons of thousands of dollars and my sanity for both my wife and I.
Woah thats crazy. Sorry to hear that. How brutal of her. She could had sent a flying monkey but Filed such on u? WTH. I am sorry ..that sucks. I hope it all got worked out.
@@deb2319 thank you for saying that all of her lies will be revealed. She’s never publicly had her mask come off and it’s going to be scary to watch. This was a new playbook for her and she should’ve thought twice before she went into a public setting under oath. I will protect my family.
During a recent breakup, I needed to why, what happened? I got immediate support on Social media and UA-cam. I was introduced to NPD, I had a reason why, a rabbit hole to go down, I filled in the blanks, I believed the EX had NPD. I now, do not care if she does or doesn’t. It's no longer my business what she thinks, feels does or says. I am not qualified to diagnose anyone, nor are half the people on social media. In fact for me to say she’s narcissist makes me the victim and smears her name, two actions of a narcissist. Only 0.50% of the "general population" has NPD. Because someone displays a couple of NPD symptoms, does not make them a narcissist. A person can be manipulative, gaslight, and act with malevolence and not be a narcissist. I’m gonna proceed in life regardless of any diagnoses. If you’re reading this, I hope you get to a place where it doesn’t matter.
6:00 "If they do anything more than three times, it is officially on purpose." If "they" give me the silent treatment, I will learn to stop missing them.
You might not stop missing them but you would be better off moving on past the narcissist, I would say about 80% will just never change. As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist it took me many years just to come to terms with the fact of what I am and begin to work on myself... And it was only through God's Miracles that I did.
I have checked out emotionally.. totally checked out.. married 38 years to him.. my part is that i believed in him.. my mom set the bar very low for me.. so i tolerated.. finally woke up.. he cant stand that I do not care.. too bad so sad... its a business relationship for me thats it..I feel nothing for him and he sees it and knows it..get myself a part time job a new puppy moving on with my life..
Thank you. Never would have guessed he was one. There were only extremely subtle signs that everyone knows about, the rest were all of these signs that are not well known about that i recognize now.
They are highly competitive.I tried to explain to him how uncomfortable I felt being stared at by a gay man whilst sunbathing he said " dont you think I have gay men coming on to me"? You cannot get understanding from them its ridiculous.Holidays are a nightmare with them in or out of a relationship.
@@Prometheuspredator Yes, adding to that he had spent some time in prison and I think this is when he had encountered those advances.On the whole it was the envy and competitiveness that made him leak that truth.He sadistically enjoyed leaking truths on me if he thought it would hurt my feelings also.
I cancelled so many holidays and paid fines as he would cause problems so that I leave him just as the holiday was coming up. And when we managed to go he would behave so badly I would wish we didn't go. Very toxic dangerous horrific people. 😢😢
When you disappear you gain self respect and peace. I mirror back their behavior before i peace out for good if i have the unfortunate event where i MUST cross paths. 🤪
What clear to the point, incredibly accurate video regarding narcissist and what they do to people. Wow! I’ve watched many videos…but I have never felts such relief… relief in understanding. Thank you so much.
I am sure he was waiting on my street to see me go into my apartment. I've changed my number a few times now. He was in a different vehicle with the headlights on. I can't prove anything, but i can see a narc doing this to instill fear. He is trying to creep me out I guess, so I reach out. That's not happening. I've said everything I need to say. There's no point in discussing anything.
@yowdhann7134- some have referred to that as ( narcissistic ) "fleas"- and I bet Ask Annoushka can explain this, or already has content about this, that can help.
@@Rowganlife They thrive on any community-based power system, it doesn't have to be religious. Reddit mods, discord moderators, store managers, doctors, police officers, nurses, priests. Any position of power.
@@blinkyy1088 agreed, but with religion, people believe their "souls" are in the balance or usually something to that effect. which heightens the stakes, so to speak.
Very cool video A month ago, I ended a five-year relationship. My soulmate made the decision to walk away from me, and even though I've done everything in my power to get him back, I can't help but feel disappointed because I can't see my life with anyone else. I want to say that I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I simply can't. I miss him so much and I don't know why I'm saying this here.
I learnt the hard way that saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult when a 12-year relationship ends. But I was unable to let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counsellor, and he was able to assist me in getting him back.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked him up online. striking I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
I don’t want to be cynical or sound too critical, but narcissists, for the most part, are incapable of thinking logically so, therefore, it doesn’t matter what they are thinking. My experience shows me that they become, without any properties of logical mentation, more abusive because that’s all they seem to be capable of.
As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist {I should probably cover this on my channel} but you are 110% correct! You are not cynical -you are factual because to be honest with you so many times logic would have made my life better... But anger overruled logic, anger and rage seem to be the only thing that was logical at the time when I was deeply entrenched in my disorder two and a half years ago.
Hi Anoushka. Thanks for all the work you do. My relationship with a friend I thought he was a friend 😢 entre in the role of a fly monkeys. . In discrediting me when I cut the communication, he came back for my birthday with a message 😂 I block him for life. Accepting there's corrosive people and nasty people around us. Honestly, I hope people understand what you mean. They are dangerous . ❤❤
I dated a narcissist for 4 months. I told him it wasn't working for me in person & texts repeatedly. He used another phone to text me, now he's coming over to my place. I saw him at the store & he grab- hugged me. I will stay strong.
My man wouldn’t send me my last remaining things since he wouldn’t allow me back in the house when I left him. I had to ask my father to step in. I knew my dad asking him about my tabs and my brain tumor meds would crack him. My dad texted him this and my husband unblocked me and paid my tabs and next day aired them after this what my dad texted him; “Please send me Victoria’s tabs so I can pay them and send them to her. Thanks.” (Done!!!!)
My father will have been smearing me for two years now. Fine. Anyone who believes him isn’t worth my time either. The people who ARE worth my time will suspect, and eventually, perhaps, see.
When you leave them they have to deal with the reality of who they are they think you are playing games but you are finished you can't get through or reason with them so that's the only alternative
thrive on control and manipulation - that's totally my father. He feels he's nothing or his kids are terribly bad bad bad, if he can't control or manipulate or dominate our lives. He feels we belittle him by growing up, studying, working, and spending our money on our own families, house rent, electricity bills, etc. He feels diminished if he sits in the back of my car and not right next to me in the passenger seat (while I feel suffocated by his mere body and breath and voice right next to me on my passenger seat, it kills me inside, rapid heart beat, anxiety, vomit like feeling ...).
I did it tonight! And he just goes in like nothing and says “it’s okay. It’s cool. I just want us to be good people…we don’t have to not speak to each other anymore…” ummm yes we do! NO CONTACT! 8 years too long!
25 years of his nonsense. I divorced him.. blocked and deleted his number! So much time has been wasted. I learned about narcissism in the last so many months of my divorce. He is a covert narcissist. Also learned along the way He is a porn addict of 42 years. Just troubled. Plus I was his first girlfriend go figure!!
Married to one, been divorced from her for 15 years, she’s single. I’m not, if I move to a different county/city, you can guarantee she will find out where I am and move in the same vicinity. They can never let you go.
Thanks for this upload. This was the mirror image of my last 4 month relationship with my ex girlfriend. Glad i got out it time. A new relationship should be a out having fun, discovering eachother, having the butterflies, learning and caring. Not fighting and arguing all the time. Thanks again for the video !! ❤😊
I have an ex who is a narcissist. I would work 3 jobs, go to school, play in a band, and any free time I had was spent with her, which was usually twice a week. Before every date she would start a fight with me, every time. It got to the point where I would say it seems like she's upset and should stay home, date is canceled When I started doing that, she would still show up to my place and a few times I turned her away. I didn't know about narcissists back then, but intentionally starting fights and crying about how she never saw me, and the demands she made raised an eyebrow. If things didn't go perfect I would witness entire meltdowns
Just out of dating a narc woman. When I told her I don't want to continue this because it is harmful for me she went full rage mode, yelled at me for being an a**hole and beat me. I told her there will be no talking before she apologizes for that. Seems to be impossible to her. Now she went cold on me. A week later (today) she wrote how I could have thrown all that away and that she is in love with me... Still no word of sorry. I'm done.
I’m blamed as I left, I still don’t have all my belongings and it’s now a legal battle and he’s convinced our kid I’m the POS, and I went no contact, I had to leave without telling him and only a select few, when he found out as he was at work he came home and cornered me, threatened my friends with trespass, wouldn’t let me take anything else (was packing my clothes when he came home) my gf had to call the police and he even ordered the police around, my life has been very hard and it’s not fair cause I’m the one who left, and I’ve had other women ostracize me because I left, been 1.5 years and I’m finally better but not 100%
Thnx 3 years of bs mind games power and control was a waste of life with a narc! He told me to leave and don’t come back so I did that- no contact block and living my life how I did before I met him! Yesss such a healing process but beautiful with out unnecessary abusive drama!❤
Thank you for this. Your videos are always great. My ex (2 months ago) pulled a reverse discard and has been hanging out with her ex she left for me, 4 years ago. Over the weekend she entered my phone number to get a text receipt for a $28 piece of jewelry. I've been going crazy trying to understand why...this helps to make "sense" of it
It’s not a fact “ they’ll try to reel you in for sure.” Especially for a narcissist who will be too proud & defiant to do that. And if they do have other supply, they probably won’t at all
I feel bad for going no contact but I had enough I walked away and said nothing he’s still trying 8 weeks in the emotional abuse got to much I have broke contact so much in the past this is the longest I’ve gone there was no choice in this
Doesn't matter now! He's tried hoovering me a few times but I don't care. Permanent block yet he keeps making dummy accounts. Not caring anymore, all direct lines of communication are gone.
They are like leaches you can’t get rid of! U tell them the score and they continue to ignore your boundaries and keep breaking them down till u give into their narrative!
She disrespected me once in month, I set boundaries she did it again a week later and done. 4 months over. I discarded and exposed her and blocked no contact. No games here
When you move on you end up affected by their behavior. Can you make a video about what you might experience emotionally after breaking up? In particular I'm wondering about developing social anxiety and what I should be looking for in a new partner. I saw someone comment that they got into therapy and the therapist asked them to list about what their dream partner would be like. Once they got done the therapist pointed out they had listed just the basic qualities of a decent human being. I might need to be more aware of these things.
I had the narc rage from a friend after she gaslighted me, she told me that was it and unfriended me on social media. I then took the opportunity and I blocked her on everything and deleted her number, no hoovers for me, when I’m done with one of these fiends and there are many, I’m done.
After 28 years, I have now been away from the narcissist and their extended group for 3 years. I don't want to know what they feel. I have not contacted them and have not heard anything from their flying monkeys about them. Now, what happens to me?
I have not heard anything for 9 months been lovely. They just leap to the next guy. But lets be real not repairing yourself after a long relationship will not work with the new supply. But i wish them well im on my own purpose. Im healing well and getting to my best version
I left her due to infidelity! Here response was I am just as happy with or without you! She said I cheated because you did not seem interested anymore! Her mother has days to live against her fight with cancer!! She laid a guilt trip for that very reason!! What scares me she told me her mother gave her some great ideas on how to poison someone!! She has to care for her father now who abused her when she was a young girl!! Scary situation!!
I went thru sheer torture with this person. He made his ex out to be wicked when in hind sight i saw he did her wrong just like he did me. These Narsasist are hurt people who continue to hurt others. Let them throw dirt on my name....FLOWERS WILL GROW🎉 fuk em!
He was reverse discarding me. I left when he wasn't expecting it. Now I'm ERASED. He is moving away, as planned. 14 wasted years on a child in a man's body.
You are right about everything said and behavior never changes. Does over and over what hurts me. Toxic & doesn’t care how I feel because he does the same things. How does a narcissist get along with another narcissist because that’s what the karmic is. Thank you for the video. Interesting and resonates.🤗🙏
My own Mother has destroyed my Childhood, most of my Adult Life including time spent in The British Army…….single, living alone, never Married, no Children, I try not to blame or hate myself or wake up feeling suicidal……
I left after 3 years. He went into narcissistic collapse and have stalked ever since. Ringing my door every three months or so, last time he left a letter full of the victim mentality, manipulation and lies, trying to suck me back in. I ignored it and he stays crying on his couch because luckily no other women wants him either. WIN! ☀
Why do narc's tell you everything they dislike about you???..then still want you to stay..??absndonment rejection I hear this alot...and wow "you can't find anyone like me" 😮I hear that too..
Because they think, feel, and falsely believe they are better than you, and in position above you, they behave entitled to criticise you, as if it's their f-n' job to criticise you. It's whack, and it is wrong. And they're heaping hot coals on their own head- which, makes it stupid, too.
They always do this! If you listen to Prof. Sam Vaknin's videos, it's because they have this introject picture of you in their mind and you don't match it in reality. They spout off in a rage and these things they dislike, aren't true (so who cares?). Just live your own truth.
He can smear me all he wants. God knows the truth, and that's all that matters to me.
Amen. Thst is excately the way I feel. Smear away....
@@Prometheuspredator ❤️
YEP.. My wife and can smear me all over.. I already Texted her on 11-11-2024 That GOD can see and hear everything you are telling your family about me.. GOD said, do not worry about what your wife is telling people.. Your fine. Always for 5 years accusing me of another women.. Always wants me in her site. I can have no friends. I say go jump in the lake. Crazy lady. Right now separated for 60 days. I left her with my phone. I told her family she has problems. ETC ETC Oh I am the bad man.. Really.
Ummm ok
Everyone has a breaking point, and it's not like it's out of the blue either. They saw it coming, and didn't care. Quite the opposite, they turn up the heat. Wish them well and move on.
Right.
They thought you would never leave but are scared you will.
that was my experience. i literally told her that i would have to take the kids away from her for over a year before a major violence incident occured in front of the kids, and that was my queue to GTFO!
Truer words. I tried for 59 years to be a good daughter. When I decided enough I went no contact with my mother and lost my sister by default. Only continued forgiveness of the matriarch would keep this mess together and I was done.
Yes that puzzles me. They are given warning like me moving into the spare room three times over the years and telling them how their behaviour affects the relationship. Then when I finally left they act shocked. What is that about? .
Once you're out of narcissism, stay out!
I changed my number and we live apart in different cities about 1 hour away , I went dark on Social Media and closed my accounts . I just want to stay under the Radar right now while working on healing and finding myself again.
God job and thinking: Protect Your self at all costs 💥👊🙏🌹💞
best wishes, these people are horrible.
I did the EXACT same thing, since a month already. A lot of strength to you!
I did that 9 year ago. Best decision.
Me too. It was the only way to stay alive. Be well. Flourish.
Here’s a thought - it doesn’t matter. All that matters is you don’t have to listen to them anymore
It helps to understand the game.
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
- George Santayana, The Life of Reason, 1905
@@mr.anderson3369My mother, my sister, my son’s mother, and my cousin are all malignant narcissists. I understand the game far too well - and I disengage because it’s just not worth it
@@nobodyimportant76467yes, I agree with your input here.
😂
He will never get a chance to soeak to me, he's blocked on all fronts. Even if he walked past me and spoke, I will act like he doesn't exist . I will not entertain a demon, game over!
The narc I was involved with never apologized, he was never wrong.
It is cause he is mentally disabled
They never do
She never was wrong in 20 years
None of them are wrong, none of them need help, none of them need to change, and all of them should get their way and control 100% of the time. They are perfect, and we don't deserve them.
That is what I'm currently dealing with
When you disappear and go no contact like forever...drives them batty. They obsess and ruminate about you. They become emotionally stunted and feel not sufficent enough, they become paranoid and experience delusions. You have hurt them and their ego, and sense of grandiosity. Big narcissistic collapse.
@@Prometheuspredator After which they will do anything to seak revenge for such hence the stalking and fake accounts,friends requests.They require your adulation to survive.
@@nessauk2786 True. I went no contact and have had nothing to do with them for years. I cut off the relationships secretly and said nothing. They can stalk me, smear my name, obsess about me and the whole gamet, but l don't care. I don't owe them anything. I live my life with peace and happiness and that is what I care about.
And potentially very dangerous.
@fredaankobia4447 Most definately very dangerous as that is why I mentioned going contact...forever. To never return their attempts to contact you...total blackout.
I went no contact forever 60 days ago. Now I just wish I could stop the ruminating.
I see patterns and follow accordingly
My peace is so important
Same here
I had never realized before that this vile, toxic behaviour was so common. Thanks for your insight Anoushka.
Not easy to talk about because you don't see it coming, never hurt them, and then they don't like the exact same person for years. I'm out. Quietly going no contact. Sad. But life is a mixed bag. I know who I am and like myself for having strong morals, and am happy. Run Forest Run
I think easy access to education on narcissistic behavior is quickly becoming more common
I feel so isolated pls help
It’s everywhere. And worse now because of social media and the shallow nature of meeting people for sex or whatever.
I recently terminated what I thought was a 40-yr friendship because it wasn't a friendship. I was just being used for the narcissist to get their supply.
I’m loving this. I ditched 3 ppl in my life that are all narcissists and I can’t saying I’m missing any of them. They all are miserable and like stealing others joy.
Bravo! I ditched four recently; it's so liberating.
😂😂😂
What she says is true. However long you know your narcissist or personal bully, they do not possess the capacity for change. They never understand the depth of the damage they do to you. Once you've had enough and you move on, it takes them some time to miss you.
THEY MISS putting you down so they can stand taller [on your head], they run out of people to victimize, they don't get as many calls or answers anymore; therefore, they seek you out. Old faithful who falls into the rabbit hole they dig.
Once you _truly_ move on, you start hearing questions. "Why don't you?"
"How come you don't answer my calls?"
"Don't you remember all that I did for you?"
The list goes on. Don't feel guilty if you owe them nothing, and they need to take personal stock and owe you apologies.
LIVE YOUR LIFE.
❤❤❤❤❤ living.
I'm gone,.Its a done deal !!
I go silent because I can not keep up with their excuses as to why I am at fault. I can never out-think them, so I go very, very quiet.
My girlfriend was in a relationship with a narcissist for three year. He were physically and emotionally abusive. After she finally called it quits, initially he was sending her messages saying "I am so glad it's over" along with other nasty messages that involved a bit of swearing. When he realised that she wasn't coming back to him and things were over for good, the situation got very sticky, especially for the both of us. It wasn't nice at all, I copped a lot of threatening/abusive messages, he then tried attacking us on Facebook, then going around town saying things about us to people we knew. I'm pretty sure other people reading this comment might have been through the same thing.
I don't mind the peace and quiet. And they can stay where they are at. I don't need to be there.
I feel peace in my mind but still living in his home living in my bedroom 😢😊
@daxachampaneri9390 suck for you.
22 years I spent. Im 55 and when I decided to leave, I did exactly that. No Contact. I didnt even know what narcissism was or codependency. I started googling things and found a quiz. skewed it in his favor and I learned all about him. Then it was time to learn why I...... and learn all about the role I played. There are two players in the game only one doesn't know its a game and is sincere in intent. Only to get royally screwed over when the time is right for them. Be careful. Be very very careful with these people. Male or female.
Thank you! Walk away with your head held high and stay silent ❤️🤷🏻♀️💯😎💪🙏🌹
Hi Nicole, how's your day going with you?
She tried that twice and I didn’t respond to her either times she just wants to win…What she doesn’t understand is IDC at all. I’m in control of my own self, my purpose and my destiny❤
Leave. Live in PEACE not PIECES.
Amen!!!!!!!!
Excellent message. The narc formerly in my life followed the pattern you described, including hoovering, surreptitious smear campaign, and recruiting a flying monkey to smear me in public three times.
Yes narcissists are very predictable and once you know -you know ..Once you see the patterns you might not ever unsee them.
1991- I was 27. Lived with my mother. Came home from work to find ALL my clothes & posessions in garbage bags on the curb for the garbage truck. Inside my mother & her best friend having cigarettes and laughing at me. I left her for over a year. After that, communication with her was on MY terms!
Hey Anoushka! Another great video as per usual. I’ve got an older sibling where what you’ve explained fits like a glove. As far as I’m concerned, she can smear me all she wants. She even comes into public spaces where she knows I will be. All this makes no difference to me because as far as I’m concerned, she’s dead. I don’t want nothing to do with her. The peace that I have without her is wonderful and I’m loving it. Keep doing your thing Anoushka! Much love to ya!🥰
Thank you Anoushka, l find your videos really, really useful, thank you so much.
She controlled the outcome and the outcome is I ran away..and she really hoovers..unbelievable
They do that, acting all sweet. Ex called me 8 times in a row, after I left, saying he feels guilty etc. this is after like a month previously when he called me up and screamed at me accusing me of cheating on him and stealing his money. He subsequently found it hidden in a cupboard in a room that I didn't have the key to. The accusation, not knowing my character, after financially contributing to the home, whilst he was not even working, was more off putting than the verbal rage. I had plenty off opportunity to cheat because he would turn his back in the bedroom yet I never did. Put off forever.
@ashton1952 well,another interesting story i guess
Their needs & being their emotional slave are key points! 🔑
Disgusting and Demonic.
On point! Especially the part of "getting their needs met" tks Anoushka for doing this video!
Control is their middle name.They are so predictable! Knowledge is power.
Ummm is that why after nearly 3 months the txt "hope your ok."...then tried to take it back after i didnt reply quick enough?! Lol the cheek of it..🤪
Amazing how predictable they are.
Yup mine does this most attempts. It's really sick once you've figured it out, then it's not hard to exit grey rock and not participate.
The only thing to do is to not reply to their attempts to "check-in" with you.
@@sv-yh3mq it's Ok I flipped reversed it he's gone running scared, trust me he won't be contacting me again, he's got stuff to lose
When a narcissists goes into a narcissistic rage, sometimes their eyes literally turn black. It's called Devil's Eyes.
On point
My ex's eyes turned black and he went in the basement and roared like a monster.
I had enough of the slavery and cancelled Thanksgiving.
I’ve see it in her …. Terrifying
Too many times , in love with a demon. Not anymore
I have not seen my mom the narcissist in over four years and I got a knock on the door from the police department is issuing a domestic violence case, a week later, I was served with an elderly abuse case. The level of deception and lies she’s willing to tell is mind-boggling. She claimed that she feared for her life and the judge gave her a guardian. This honestly could be a made for TV movie. I’m 100% sure this is narcissism. Just not sure if I’m dealing with a covert or malignant one.
'Covert' or 'malignant' are just phases of the narcissistic personality disorder decourse. Every NPD person can go 'covert' or 'malignant' for years or months. My 74 yo mother had been in to the 'cvert' mask for the most of her life, but she had been 'overt' inside the home for two decades, from the 50s to now.
NPD is a 'dense' psychotic disease. Take care of your self.
@@fabiopapalia wow, I had no idea that you could move around, and I always thought of the phase as a identity. I’m at a point now, where I need to decide if I show the police that the police report was under false pretenses thus giving my mom a felony. I just need her to stop. It’s costing me tons of thousands of dollars and my sanity for both my wife and I.
Woah thats crazy. Sorry to hear that. How brutal of her. She could had sent a flying monkey but Filed such on u? WTH. I am sorry ..that sucks. I hope it all got worked out.
@@deb2319 thank you for saying that all of her lies will be revealed. She’s never publicly had her mask come off and it’s going to be scary to watch. This was a new playbook for her and she should’ve thought twice before she went into a public setting under oath. I will protect my family.
😮 tell them to prove it 👿
During a recent breakup, I needed to why, what happened? I got immediate support on Social media and UA-cam. I was introduced to NPD, I had a reason why, a rabbit hole to go down, I filled in the blanks, I believed the EX had NPD. I now, do not care if she does or doesn’t. It's no longer my business what she thinks, feels does or says. I am not qualified to diagnose anyone, nor are half the people on social media. In fact for me to say she’s narcissist makes me the victim and smears her name, two actions of a narcissist. Only 0.50% of the "general population" has NPD. Because someone displays a couple of NPD symptoms, does not make them a narcissist. A person can be manipulative, gaslight, and act with malevolence and not be a narcissist. I’m gonna proceed in life regardless of any diagnoses. If you’re reading this, I hope you get to a place where it doesn’t matter.
6:00 "If they do anything more than three times, it is officially on purpose."
If "they" give me the silent treatment, I will learn to stop missing them.
You might not stop missing them but you would be better off moving on past the narcissist, I would say about 80% will just never change. As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist it took me many years just to come to terms with the fact of what I am and begin to work on myself... And it was only through God's Miracles that I did.
You do stop missing them after no contact@@NarcissistHex-nf9eq
@@NarcissistHex-nf9eq That makes you a rare individual. Once you've learned, you must turn around and teach those who are willing to learn.
@@kirkhensley5870 Agreed, that's why I started my channel here.
I have checked out emotionally.. totally checked out.. married 38 years to him.. my part is that i believed in him.. my mom set the bar very low for me.. so i tolerated.. finally woke up.. he cant stand that I do not care.. too bad so sad... its a business relationship for me thats it..I feel nothing for him and he sees it and knows it..get myself a part time job a new puppy moving on with my life..
Thank you. Never would have guessed he was one. There were only extremely subtle signs that everyone knows about, the rest were all of these signs that are not well known about that i recognize now.
They are highly competitive.I tried to explain to him how uncomfortable I felt being stared at by a gay man whilst sunbathing he said " dont you think I have gay men coming on to me"? You cannot get understanding from them its ridiculous.Holidays are a nightmare with them in or out of a relationship.
Do you think this was the perfect opportunity for him to tell you something about himself? To tattle on himself as this is common narcissists.
@@Prometheuspredator Yes, adding to that he had spent some time in prison and I think this is when he had encountered those advances.On the whole it was the envy and competitiveness that made him leak that truth.He sadistically enjoyed leaking truths on me if he thought it would hurt my feelings also.
I cancelled so many holidays and paid fines as he would cause problems so that I leave him just as the holiday was coming up. And when we managed to go he would behave so badly I would wish we didn't go. Very toxic dangerous horrific people. 😢😢
When you disappear you gain self respect and peace. I mirror back their behavior before i peace out for good if i have the unfortunate event where i MUST cross paths. 🤪
What clear to the point, incredibly accurate video regarding narcissist and what they do to people. Wow! I’ve watched many videos…but I have never felts such relief… relief in understanding. Thank you so much.
Brilliant !!!
This video sticks with me because of all the truths be told.
Bless you and yours.
I am sure he was waiting on my street to see me go into my apartment. I've changed my number a few times now. He was in a different vehicle with the headlights on. I can't prove anything, but i can see a narc doing this to instill fear. He is trying to creep me out I guess, so I reach out. That's not happening. I've said everything I need to say. There's no point in discussing anything.
I feel like a part of me is narcissist. I'm in my healing journey because I'm tired of being people pleaser, empath, damn I'm tired
@yowdhann7134- some have referred to that as ( narcissistic ) "fleas"- and I bet Ask Annoushka can explain this, or already has content about this, that can help.
I did on a bunch of them. It was toxic. Yes, church can be toxic.
church settings are PRIMED for these types of people.
Narcs and hypocrites was my experience.
@@Rowganlife They thrive on any community-based power system, it doesn't have to be religious. Reddit mods, discord moderators, store managers, doctors, police officers, nurses, priests. Any position of power.
@@blinkyy1088 agreed, but with religion, people believe their "souls" are in the balance or usually something to that effect. which heightens the stakes, so to speak.
Lot of them in AA usually in positions of power.
Very cool video A month ago, I ended a five-year relationship. My soulmate made the decision to walk away from me, and even though I've done everything in my power to get him back, I can't help but feel disappointed because I can't see my life with anyone else. I want to say that I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I simply can't. I miss him so much and I don't know why I'm saying this here.
I learnt the hard way that saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult when a 12-year relationship ends. But I was unable to let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counsellor, and he was able to assist me in getting him back.
Interesting-sounding! How can I most efficiently get in contact with a spiritual counsellor that you recommended?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked him up online. striking I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
I was almost killed by my ex husband last year. He's facing 75 years to life.
Why did you attack him?
I don’t want to be cynical or sound too critical, but narcissists, for the most part, are incapable of thinking logically so, therefore, it doesn’t matter what they are thinking. My experience shows me that they become, without any properties of logical mentation, more abusive because that’s all they seem to be capable of.
As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist {I should probably cover this on my channel} but you are 110% correct! You are not cynical -you are factual because to be honest with you so many times logic would have made my life better... But anger overruled logic, anger and rage seem to be the only thing that was logical at the time when I was deeply entrenched in my disorder two and a half years ago.
Yup.
When anyone disappears, we all forget and move on. 😂
Hi Anoushka.
Thanks for all the work you do.
My relationship with a friend I thought he was a friend 😢 entre in the role of a fly monkeys.
. In discrediting me when I cut the communication, he came back for my birthday with a message 😂
I block him for life.
Accepting there's corrosive people and nasty people around us.
Honestly, I hope people understand what you mean. They are dangerous .
❤❤
I dated a narcissist for 4 months. I told him it wasn't working for me in person & texts repeatedly. He used another phone to text me, now he's coming over to my place. I saw him at the store & he grab- hugged me. I will stay strong.
My man wouldn’t send me my last remaining things since he wouldn’t allow me back in the house when I left him. I had to ask my father to step in. I knew my dad asking him about my tabs and my brain tumor meds would crack him. My dad texted him this and my husband unblocked me and paid my tabs and next day aired them after this what my dad texted him;
“Please send me Victoria’s tabs so I can pay them and send them to her. Thanks.”
(Done!!!!)
Thank you so much for posting this information
My father will have been smearing me for two years now. Fine. Anyone who believes him isn’t worth my time either. The people who ARE worth my time will suspect, and eventually, perhaps, see.
True
When you leave them they have to deal with the reality of who they are they think you are playing games but you are finished you can't get through or reason with them so that's the only alternative
thrive on control and manipulation - that's totally my father. He feels he's nothing or his kids are terribly bad bad bad, if he can't control or manipulate or dominate our lives. He feels we belittle him by growing up, studying, working, and spending our money on our own families, house rent, electricity bills, etc. He feels diminished if he sits in the back of my car and not right next to me in the passenger seat (while I feel suffocated by his mere body and breath and voice right next to me on my passenger seat, it kills me inside, rapid heart beat, anxiety, vomit like feeling ...).
I was discarded for the last time, and I never looked back .
I did it tonight! And he just goes in like nothing and says “it’s okay. It’s cool. I just want us to be good people…we don’t have to not speak to each other anymore…” ummm yes we do! NO CONTACT! 8 years too long!
Thank you
Anouska for a great video ❤
Am given to understand by her own words . “I do not know who to love you “ , that I’m being played .
25 years of his nonsense. I divorced him.. blocked and deleted his number! So much time has been wasted. I learned about narcissism in the last so many months of my divorce. He is a covert narcissist. Also learned along the way He is a porn addict of 42 years.
Just troubled. Plus I was his first girlfriend go figure!!
Married to one, been divorced from her for 15 years, she’s single. I’m not, if I move to a different county/city, you can guarantee she will find out where I am and move in the same vicinity. They can never let you go.
Thanks for this upload. This was the mirror image of my last 4 month relationship with my ex girlfriend. Glad i got out it time. A new relationship should be a out having fun, discovering eachother, having the butterflies, learning and caring. Not fighting and arguing all the time. Thanks again for the video !! ❤😊
I have an ex who is a narcissist. I would work 3 jobs, go to school, play in a band, and any free time I had was spent with her, which was usually twice a week. Before every date she would start a fight with me, every time. It got to the point where I would say it seems like she's upset and should stay home, date is canceled
When I started doing that, she would still show up to my place and a few times I turned her away. I didn't know about narcissists back then, but intentionally starting fights and crying about how she never saw me, and the demands she made raised an eyebrow. If things didn't go perfect I would witness entire meltdowns
Just out of dating a narc woman. When I told her I don't want to continue this because it is harmful for me she went full rage mode, yelled at me for being an a**hole and beat me.
I told her there will be no talking before she apologizes for that. Seems to be impossible to her.
Now she went cold on me. A week later (today) she wrote how I could have thrown all that away and that she is in love with me...
Still no word of sorry. I'm done.
Never call or text her again. These people only create drama and chaos.
Block her everywhere. Heal from all the attachments...!!
Preach!! Going through this now.
Thank you Anoushka for your words of truth and encouragement. You made me a subscriber. 😀💓
You are so welcome 🙏
Perfectly said thank you ma’am
Anushka: The angel sent from up above
Great video very true 👏🏽🥂
I was done with 🎉 the nonsense . Got the hell on.
I need to get out too 😢
I’m blamed as I left, I still don’t have all my belongings and it’s now a legal battle and he’s convinced our kid I’m the POS, and I went no contact, I had to leave without telling him and only a select few, when he found out as he was at work he came home and cornered me, threatened my friends with trespass, wouldn’t let me take anything else (was packing my clothes when he came home) my gf had to call the police and he even ordered the police around, my life has been very hard and it’s not fair cause I’m the one who left, and I’ve had other women ostracize me because I left, been 1.5 years and I’m finally better but not 100%
I FEEL BETTER NOW THAT I LEFT NO MORE BULLSHIT TO DEAL WITH I'M SO HAPPY NEVER AGAIN. 😂
Thnx 3 years of bs mind games power and control was a waste of life with a narc! He told me to leave and don’t come back so I did that- no contact block and living my life how I did before I met him! Yesss such a healing process but beautiful with out unnecessary abusive drama!❤
You are spot on
Thank you for this. Your videos are always great. My ex (2 months ago) pulled a reverse discard and has been hanging out with her ex she left for me, 4 years ago. Over the weekend she entered my phone number to get a text receipt for a $28 piece of jewelry. I've been going crazy trying to understand why...this helps to make "sense" of it
It’s not a fact “ they’ll try to reel you in for sure.” Especially for a narcissist who will be too proud & defiant to do that. And if they do have other supply, they probably won’t at all
Exactly how my narc ex is and when I went no contact, I haven’t heard from her since.
I feel bad for going no contact but I had enough I walked away and said nothing he’s still trying 8 weeks in the emotional abuse got to much I have broke contact so much in the past this is the longest I’ve gone there was no choice in this
Thank you very much for your wisdom and insight.. 🙂.. Your encouragement is well received.. God bless you..!!! From New Zealand.. 🐑.. 🕊️🕊️🕊️
Doesn't matter now! He's tried hoovering me a few times but I don't care. Permanent block yet he keeps making dummy accounts. Not caring anymore, all direct lines of communication are gone.
My problem is the other people they lie too :|
They are like leaches you can’t get rid of! U tell them the score and they continue to ignore your boundaries and keep breaking them down till u give into their narrative!
She disrespected me once in month, I set boundaries she did it again a week later and done. 4 months over. I discarded and exposed her and blocked no contact. No games here
When you move on you end up affected by their behavior. Can you make a video about what you might experience emotionally after breaking up? In particular I'm wondering about developing social anxiety and what I should be looking for in a new partner. I saw someone comment that they got into therapy and the therapist asked them to list about what their dream partner would be like. Once they got done the therapist pointed out they had listed just the basic qualities of a decent human being. I might need to be more aware of these things.
Right on 👍🏽 thank you
Thank you ❤ i need to hear this
Good video 👍🏻
I had the narc rage from a friend after she gaslighted me, she told me that was it and unfriended me on social media. I then took the opportunity and I blocked her on everything and deleted her number, no hoovers for me, when I’m done with one of these fiends and there are many, I’m done.
After 28 years, I have now been away from the narcissist and their extended group for 3 years. I don't want to know what they feel. I have not contacted them and have not heard anything from their flying monkeys about them.
Now, what happens to me?
I have not heard anything for 9 months been lovely.
They just leap to the next guy.
But lets be real not repairing yourself after a long relationship will not work with the new supply.
But i wish them well im on my own purpose.
Im healing well and getting to my best version
Great video ❤
I’ve had enough and I’ve walked … it’s difficult and painful but i will get over it… it’s better than staying x🥲🥹
I left her due to infidelity! Here response was I am just as happy with or without you! She said I cheated because you did not seem interested anymore! Her mother has days to live against her fight with cancer!! She laid a guilt trip for that very reason!! What scares me she told me her mother gave her some great ideas on how to poison someone!! She has to care for her father now who abused her when she was a young girl!! Scary situation!!
thank you for making these videos, they are very helpful!
I went thru sheer torture with this person. He made his ex out to be wicked when in hind sight i saw he did her wrong just like he did me. These Narsasist are hurt people who continue to hurt others.
Let them throw dirt on my name....FLOWERS WILL GROW🎉 fuk em!
Exactly this
He was reverse discarding me. I left when he wasn't expecting it. Now I'm ERASED. He is moving away, as planned. 14 wasted years on a child in a man's body.
You are right about everything said and behavior never changes. Does over and over what hurts me. Toxic & doesn’t care how I feel because he does the same things. How does a narcissist get along with another narcissist because that’s what the karmic is.
Thank you for the video. Interesting and resonates.🤗🙏
Somehow I've been bragging on the English accent & with good reason I'm totally subscribed & thx luv😘
My narc tried to get me and my partner arrested when we left in the middle of the day.
My own Mother has destroyed my Childhood, most of my Adult Life including time spent in The British Army…….single, living alone, never Married, no Children, I try not to blame or hate myself or wake up feeling suicidal……
Anyone that thinks one person is the problem in any relationship are the problem.
I left after 3 years. He went into narcissistic collapse and have stalked ever since. Ringing my door every three months or so, last time he left a letter full of the victim mentality, manipulation and lies, trying to suck me back in. I ignored it and he stays crying on his couch because luckily no other women wants him either. WIN! ☀
Why do narc's tell you everything they dislike about you???..then still want you to stay..??absndonment rejection I hear this alot...and wow "you can't find anyone like me" 😮I hear that too..
Because they think, feel, and falsely believe they are better than you, and in position above you, they behave entitled to criticise you, as if it's their f-n' job to criticise you. It's whack, and it is wrong. And they're heaping hot coals on their own head- which, makes it stupid, too.
They always do this! If you listen to Prof. Sam Vaknin's videos, it's because they have this introject picture of you in their mind and you don't match it in reality. They spout off in a rage and these things they dislike, aren't true (so who cares?). Just live your own truth.