Ciao Tia :) Per quello che mi riguarda non si tratta di "formalità" (il fatto di mangiare sempre tutti insieme), ma credo che noi italiani cerchiamo di riunire la famiglia intorno alla tavola semplicemente perché ci fa stare bene, nel senso che vediamo il momento del pranzo o della cena come un momento per ritrovarsi con il resto della famiglia, parlare, scherzare, confrontarsi...non solo per nutrirsi, come magari accade in altre parti del mondo... perché, proprio come hai detto tu, la famiglia (e il cibo) è importante qui... O almeno cerchiamo di riuscirci il più spesso possibile, in accordo con gli impegni di tutti, ovviamente bisogna considerare anche che in Italia l'orario medio in cui si cena non sono le 18 ma le 20/21... Cio non toglie che non sono regole obbligatorie o formalità, ma semplicemente il piacere di mangiare in compagnia piuttosto che da soli... :) :*
verissimo!! e aggiungo che non si fa solo con la famiglia canonica, tantissimi miei amici che sono fuorisede all'università cercano sempre di cenare inseme ai coinquilini (a meno che non si stiano sui coglioni hahahah). ma anche solo in pausa pranzo, un italiano cerca sempre qualcuno per mangiare insieme! quando vedo qualcuno seduto al tavolo a mangiare da solo mi sale una tristezza infinita hahahahaha
Il fatto di mangiare tutti insieme mi piace molto. La cosa che mi stupisce invece, che è una cosa che ho notato a casa del mio fidanzato al sud, quindi forse non è così in tutta Italia, è che la madre prepara, cucina, toglie i piatti, lava i piatti, mentre i suoi figli ed il marito stanno a tavola, mangiano, poi si alzano e se ne vanno a guardare la tv. Adesso che convivo con il mio ragazzo devo combattere con questa abitudine tutti i giorni, che pesantezza.
Agne zickaite ,le mamme del sud ,quelle come la mia che oggi hanno 80 anni , non gli da fastidio quelle cose , anzi se chiedi di aiutarla sicuramente ti risponde :lascia stare vai a riposarti, . Per loro e un qualcosa di grande fare questo per i figli , e lo fanno più per i figli che per il marito ,. Mia madre ha 80 anni , mio fratello ha 50 anni abita vicino a mia madre , mia madre continua a farenil panino per lui che si porta a lavorare , tutti i giorni ,. Prima non mangiava sul lavoro e mia madre gli diceva vieni a mangiare qui a mezzogiorno , .,per loro non e problema fare le cose per i figli,almeno parlo delle madri come la mia ,mamme di una volta ,quelle di oggi non le capisco molto, la mamma non e solo per cagare il figlio e basta ,ma poi hli da amore cosi e non con soldi o cazzate materiali
The fact that "maschilismo" is so mainstream in Italy helped to exalt the mother figure. We are not talking about a celabration of the woman, we are talking about a woman who is a mother, and that's the thing which gives her holiness. Being a mother means that traditionally people is going to expect that she's good, patient and that she's able to cook and clean and that she wishes to serve her husband and children, so her life basically should be focused on this. This cultural heritage is heavy and has always clipped women's wings. About divorce, the law doesn't say anything about "mother" and "father", there's a reference about "parents", maybe it's more typical that the children end up staying with their mom, because it's considered more normal, since a woman is supposed to be good at parenting. The thing that there's a protection of motherhood collides with this culture, so young women struggle to find a job because they could be mother one day, and that's expensive, during job interviews women are asked if they have a family and if they would like to have one, if you don't, it's better. There's also a trick which is used in some jobs, known as "dimissioni in bianco" which basically makes easy to fire a woman when she gets pregnant. Tia, women are not so protected in Italy and the mother figure is holy only when she serves her family, we have a lot to do, we need to change our culture. Il fatto che il maschilismo sia così diffuso in Italia non contrasta con l'esaltazione della figura materna, ma anzi ne é in buona parte causa. Infatti non si parla di esaltazione della figura femminile in sé, ma della figura della madre, e a questa figura si ricollegano tradizionalmente una serie di aspettative e doveri di stampo maschilista: paziente, buona, cucina, pulisce, serve marito e figli etc. Per quanto riguarda l'aspetto legale a favore della madre, forse intendi in ambito di divorzio, non è esattamente così, nella legge non si parla di madre o padre, si parla di genitori, può essere più tipico che si decida che il bambino stia con la madre e che il padre contribuisca a mantenerlo. E il fatto che ci sia una minima tutela della figura materna, fa sì che le giovani donne che cercano lavoro vengano assunte più raramente, in quanto donne e potenziali madri, ai colloqui di lavoro gli viene chiesto se intendono avere una famiglia e il fenomeno delle "dimissioni in bianco" che facilita il licenziamento delle donne gravide, è diffuso, se le donne fossero veramente tutelate, questo non accadrebbe.
Ciao Tia! Sono italiana, ed uno dei motivi per cui guardo con piacere i tuoi video è che trovo davvero interessante vedere come uno straniero che vive qui da noi "percepisce" l'Italia. Credo inoltre tu sia una ragazza estremamente intelligente, ed è davvero un piacere seguire il tuo canale ☺️ Keep it up ✌🏻️(one a side note, the fact that you're constantly trying to improve your knowledge of both the language and the culture of the country you're currently living in it's really admirable 🙏🏻 ☺️)
Per me sarebbe stranissimo non cenare con la mia famiglia alla sera, non ci vediamo molto spesso durante il giorno e la cena è un momento per stare insieme e parlare. Personalmente poi a me piace abbastanza cucinare e buttare un po' di pasta non è difficile. Per me è un bel momento della giornata, e una cosa che ho sempre apprezzato.
felice di essere un "mammone", e avere rapporti saldi con la mia famiglia questa si chiama cultura e tradizione cosa che a voi americani manca totalmente
It's not formal stay all together around the table at dinner, it's something that let the family spend time together and talk about everything. It's not a formal momento at all
no, i genitori in una pensione no! scusami eh, i tuoi fanno di tutto per crescerti e volerti bene, il minimo che bisogna fare è non farli invecchiare/morire in un posto del genere 😅
Dipende che pensione è e dove ti ritrovi a lavorare e vivere tu... e non dare per scontato che i genitori ti abbiano cresciuto/a e voluto bene, perché non è mica un dato universale!
Certo ma se è possibile occuparsi di loro perché non farlo? Poi ovviamente ci sono sempre le eccezioni (lavori tutto il giorno, abiti in un'altra città ecc.) :)
Antares nel cuore voglio portarti il mio esempio. Mia nonna oramai è anziana, ma sia mia madre, sia mio padre sono dipendenti pubblici e lavorano pressoché sempre e mia nonna si trova in una pensione fantastica! Dire che si è super accuditi e ti vogliono bene è dir poco! È la cosa più bella è che quando a volte portiamo mia nonna a casa per un pranzo di famiglia (soprattutto le domeniche), arrivate le 17 è lei a voler tornare alla residenza. Questo non significa che uno non voglia bene all'altro, solo che le situazioni stanno cambiando, specialmente in una società come quella dell'Italia settentrionale (non è un'offerta contro il sud, considerate le mie origini)!
Antares nel cuore Beh se uno ha le possibilità materiali ma non mentali (cioè rischia l'esaurimento a star dietro ad un anziano non autosufficiente) è più sano per tutti se sta in un istituto dove è seguito da gente che ha studiato appositamente per ciò. Poi comunque ci sono anche le badanti, molte altre soluzioni che non prevedono il suo trasferimento... insomma, è una cosa da fare se conviene davvero per tutti, non come 'dovere'.
Alfred Carignano certo assolutamente, l'importante è che sia l'anziano sia i parenti siano felici, in realtà neanche io stavo considerando il trasferimento, perché ammettiamolo, ci vuole un sacco di pazienza a star dietro ad un anziano, ritornano bambini e hanno bisogno di un sacco di cure, io sto parlando più che altro di piccoli gesti, una spazzata a terra ogni tanto, fare un pó di pasta al forno in più in modo da non farli cucinare, insomma sono dell'idea di non doversene fregarle completamente. Forse nel primo commento mi sono spiegata un pó male 😅
Tia, i need to point something out concerning the "mother" aspect. Everything you mentioned is actually true, but i think you only focused on the positive side of things. The fact that mothers are so respected is of course very nice but on the other hand, women are most of the time only valued AS mothers or potential future mothers. Imo this is very sexist and disrespectful, because one should respect women in general, which for some people here in Italy it doesn't always happen. For example, you might have noticed that catcalling is VEERY frequent here. Well, if a visibly pregnant woman walks down the street, she definitely won't be harassed in any way by men, because they respect her JUST AS A FUTURE MOTHER. And I hate that. And concerning maternity leave, many employers during job interviews will actually ask you if you are in a stable relationship or thinking about having children, because nobody is actually happy to be paying maternity leave. There would be many more things to point out that show how much of a sexist country Italy is when it comes to these things, but i've already written way too much Lol. Anyway, thank you for always putting out quality content that makes people reflect upon stereotypes and many other things. Un bacio
+diciottottobre yep I agree with everything you said and yep that's where the contradiction comes from. I hope the maschilisti in my comments section read this as well. I just wanted to be careful with what I said in a video like this because one wrong word and some people would have gotten super offended.... anyways I'm so happy you're enjoying and thank you for bringing educated discussion to my comments section! ❤️
As an Italian, YES - this is literally a side effect of patriarchy in our culture. Reason why I left the country really, thanks Tia for calling it out.
Save the children just released the best place to be a woman: Italy is 10th, the USA 32th 27esimaora.corriere.it/16_ottobre_12/i-paesi-dove-peggio-nascere-bimbe-save-children-75f48cf8-8fed-11e6-a48d-80f1fedf0a64.shtml
"Gli Stati Uniti, l’economia più grande del mondo (e ottavi per sviluppo umano), sono 32esimi sotto l’Algeria e il Kazakistan a causa delle molte gravidanze adolescenziali e il rischio di mortalità materna." Beh, certo che se questi sono i principali metri di paragone, mi sembra normale che un paese come gli USA dove l'educazione sessuale è scarsa e l'assistenza sanitaria è elitaria e costosa, abbia questi risultati in classifica. Io mi riferivo (in breve, perchè ce ne sarebbero di altre cose da dire) a un maschilismo che si riscontra soprattutto a livello sociale, nelle relazioni interpersonali. Ovvio che paragonare l'Italia al Ciad o all'India è ridicolo. Comunque grazie per aver linkato l'articolo, molto interessante.
Children take care of their parents not only because they're their parents, but also because their parents have taken care of their grandchildren as well. Too many children and parents in this sentence. What I mean is: my parents are going to take care of my children when I have them, so I'm gonna take care of my parents when they get old. Hope that makes sense.
I have to agree with you on convalescent homes: in Italy they're considered a "last resort" (for example for people in need of special medical treatments). As an Italian living in the US I was pretty shocked to see my ex boyfriend send his elderly mom to a convalescent home without a second thought!
One little clarification though: vote for women in Italy was supposed to come into effect after WW1, but then, you know, fascism, etc, no one was voting back then, not even males, the fascist party was the only party and the "vote" was for stuff like "do you agree with the list of ministers proposed by the party? yes/no". it was generally 99% yes, since the vote wasn't actually secret.
The thing you said about mothers coming back from work only to work some more at home is sooo true. My mom is a journalist on TV she works all day and when she comes home she sets the table with some help from me and my sister, then she cooks all by herself and cleans everything up. All my dad does is complain that the pasta is too overcooked or something like that. She acts like his slave and I always feel really bad because she's always very sad and cries a lot. I just know that when she gets older it will be my turn to take care of her.
In my family we almost never have luch together because my parents work and I go to Uni, but we always have dinner together. It is not formality, it's the best way to get together and talk about our day. Sometimes my mum makes dinner even if she comes home ah 7pm, sometimes my dad makes it and other days I make dinner, it depends. Even when my mum gets late we will wait for her and eat together. I find it sad that elsewhere there isn't this "formality" because it is such a nice way to be around your family.
Per quanto riguarda la mia esperienza: nelle chat di videogiochi si usa comunque spesso "ur mom", quindi ti capiscono, ma penso si offendano in media meno rispetto all'Italia.
living as an au pair here in Italy i also LOVE the respect elders are treated with. the relationship existing between the nonno e nonna e le ragazze è bellisimo!! i also love old people here in general, they are really patient with my clumsy italian and so encouraging. i feel so bad when i forget the appropriate ways to address them 😔😔
It's just like there's always time for food :P in Italy is actually the opposite of "just rich people eat together" the stereotype would be that rich people don't even care about family while who's not that rich give more importance to not material things, cause they don't worry that much about money... this is just stereotypes but I think the fact Italian families eat mostly together is also because of the importance food has
Hi Tia, I can't say about USA, but I lived in Australia for 4 years (I'm Italian) and I'd say that a big difference with their families is that in Italian families everyone is very involved in each other lives. We tend to share many more details about what's going on with us, with our friends, relationships etc while in Australia they are more private and independent. Also in Australia everyone is more self sufficient from a young age, while in Italy you sort of expect that your parents will help you, especially financially.
Tia in Italy we respect and we need grandparents, they are great baby-sitters and chefs, sometimes also gardener. They are an important elements in the family
Even in Italy if in a family there are several brothers and sisters, usually is only ONE of them who takes care of the elderly parents. And in Italy we have the sistems of the "badanti", which allows elderly people to stay at their home even if they are not more fully indipendent; I think we are the only country that adopted such sistem. Of course, if we think for example of a country as Sweden, where there isn't almost no concept of family, where society is only for individuals, everyone alone with himself, we feel a lot lucky.
I want to specificate one thing: we fish school about 2:00 pm and the most of jobs end at 2:00pm too. So we have much time to prepare lunch. We absolutely don't eat at 6:00 pm, we have dinner at 8:30/9 pm, because during the evening everyone has own activities to do.
I went to California a couple years ago and I was shocked about how many people that went through a divorce I met (and I'm talking about beeing at their third marriage o more, no kidding!). The fact is that even if I do agree about having the possibility of having a divorce I also think that peolple tends to not fight for their marriage. having more than one divorce means that either you get married too soon or you don't know how to try hard to make something work. Anyway I like your videos and I like that you try to be as neutral as possible while listing differences beetween two Countries that are deeply different. I don't always agree with your point of view and I don't always recall what you say as something that really happens but I still enjoy them and they are also a very good exercise for my english. have a nice day! :D
Wow, you've figured out us very well :) Obviously there are some generalizations but it's inevitable. You're right to say that we are getting closer to the American model, only a few years ago these differences were much bigger. I suggest USA vs Italy job market.
Hi Tia I'd love to watch a video where you'd be pointing out the main differences between working in the US and Italy(working perspectives,environment,relationship with your co workers etc etc etc).Love your videos♥
Hey Tia, I'm from Milan but currently on exchange in Australia and I completely get how you feel right now but reversed. I love the fact that you don't really have to put much effort in dressing the table here but still, I find it pretty sad sometimes! The fact is that we use meals (especially dinner) as a moment to catch up with our lives and spend some time together since we don't see each other during the day. And I like the fact that you're definitely more free than me to move to another country and live your life without having to worry about your parents, yet how can you leave them like that if they need you? And it's so weird how being here I learnt that there are things of your culture that I'd never be able to assimilate and things of the Italian culture that you'll never be able to make yours, but hey that's what's beautiful about cultures. I mean, I get how you can feel our family is still pretty patriarcal but at the same time I don't get why you would treat your parents as if their effort in growing you is always taken for granted and they can't even count on your help when they need it. However, I swear I could hear you know saying how childish we are and how we can't live without our lovely moms. It's just one of those cultural differences that we both would keep, and that's okay.
Hey, I'm from the south of Italy and I just wanted to add that yes, we have the habit of eating together whenever we can, but in my family it's my dad that cooks most of the times and it's because he loves it. My mother, my sister and me do it too, but dad's the chef :) In addiction, we all set the table and we all get up to take our plates away or to get the food, it's not like our mom's a waitress.
Tia, grazie a te sto perfezionando sempre di più il mio inglese, riesco a capire il 90% di quello che dici. Analisi interessanti e condivisibili. Sei stupenda!
I enjoyed watching your video. It is interesting hearing about your experiences in Italy and America. I am from Michigan and my mom made homemade meals everyday. We certainly were not rich and grew up in a rural area. Some of the food was grown in our garden. I always thought this was normal until I went to college. Most of my peers grew up going to restaurants often. I never went to restaurants as a child
It's always nice to hear what you think! In general, I think what you said it's true, even though I'm an exception xD despite being italian 100%, my family is more like the american one rather than the traditional italian one. A difference that I noticed is that the family ties are way stronger in the south of italy, rather than in the north. As for the mammoni thing, it's true that there are many people who live with their parents, but I suppose only a small/medium percentage do that because "they want to". I'm 25, still living with my parent because I live on a minimum wage, and with 500 euro in a month I can't afford renting an apartment, pay the bills etc etc. I still consider myself lucky for having found a part-time job during this economic crisis, I know many people of my age who are jobless...but as you said, many italians have been leaving italy day by day (130.000 in the last year) and these people don't have any problem living alone and being independent, so I think many mammoni don't really want to be mammoni, they are forced to (just like me). That being said, I don't deny there is another category of people who live with their parents because they like being "served" by mummy, it's just that I don't think it's the majority. As for the right to vote, it's true but I think it's more like a european thing rather than typical italian: In switzeland women acquired the right to vote only in 1971!! In greece 1952, France 1944 etc etc so I think italy (1946) was kind of "in line" with many other (not all) european countries. (Sorry for my english, I hope I made myself understood XD). Looking forward your next video! :)
Luckily my Italian boyfriend is not a mammone :) Grazie a Dio! However, when you started talking about Italians taking care of their parents when they grow old and can't take care of themselves anymore, it really struck a cord with me. My boyfriend is already worried about how he is going to take care of his mom when she gets old and ill. I told him that he can always have her put in a convalescent home (I'm not Italian, and where I come from it's common practice for elderly to go to a nursing home, where they are taken care of by competent people/staff, which also puts the pressure off the family members facing the difficult task of juggling all these aspects of daily life). When I told him about the option of putting his mom in a nursing home, he looked at me like I was crazy. Obviously it's a big no no here.
Well it would be shocking because parents nursed you at your vulnerable tender age and they are the people who will be with you through thick and thin..(excluding dysfunctional parents) Sending them to old age homes will be heartbreaking for them. Just imagine you are being taken care of strangers during the last few years of life, while the people who meant the most to you in your life visit you once in a while. Of course some might say that it was parents choice to have kids and it was their responsibility to take care and that you need not pay back any favours.Well those people dont understand family love
I respect and love italian culture, and notice that in the south of Italy, relatives are either really protective and caring with each other, or they have a passionate love /hate relationship. And I say passionate because if you read classic literature or opera, the problems between them are quite similar which resume pretty much into betraying or ignoring something considered sacred. These two types of relationships have one thing in common: They seat to have dinner together to keep mamma happy. What about the Dad? He looks secondary many times, a silent figure of reference, a provider and a surname donator, like Joseph was in the relationship between Mary, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But he still has to do the traditional masculine chores.
il tuo commento è vero. Mi ha fatto riflettere. una cosa solamente posso aggiungere: Joseph was a protector of the holy family. and I think that protectin the family is the father's role, to keep the family unite is the mom's role. dad is not secondary, just diff'rent. btw it's true that mom is sacred and your parallelism with the Holy Family is true. but dad generally is not less loved than mom. Many time it happens that a son is more jelouse of his mom, a doughter of his dad, but I think this happens everywhere.
luigi raspinelli : Thank you for adding this part! I was afraid of being too intrusive with my comment. But you are right, the father is just a different but equally lovable role. This paralelism is noticeable also in most of Latin America, thanks to Roman Catholic influence. Saluti!
I agree with all you said in the video, but i think in italy womens are just not respected enough as mothers unless they're *le proprie*(sorry but IDK how to say it in english) mothers... i mean, if a mother breast-feed her child in public, other people (expecially mens) will look at her in a bad way, like *feeding a child is something bad that shows a little too much* or other shit like this, and is something very incoherent cause "showing a little more Skin" is usually considered sexy by mens, but when a women does to breast-feed no, it's just a bad thing. Idk, i'm a 16yrs old straight boy and i just think womens are equal as men, and straight people is just equal as lgbt people... btw, can you do a video about this topic (or in general, about acceptance of a minority)? I really love u! Baci 😘
Secondo me questa cosa di mettere sul piedistallo "la mamma" ė un'arma a doppio taglio per le donne...di fatto ė un ruolo carico di aspettative davvero complicato soddisfare se sei una donna che lavora.in passato la maggior parte delle donne si occupavano esclusivamente della famiglia, mamma e casalinga a tempo pieno.oggi la maggior parte delle donne lavora ma si continuano comunque a pretendere gli stessi alti standard delle madri esclusivamente casalinghe di un tempo...caricando ancora di più il lavoro delle donne in casa e nella cura dei figli...come se le donne al pari degli uomini non abbiano bisogno di riposo dopo una giornata di lavoro.per quanto riguarda le faccende domestiche e tempo dedicato ai figli c'è ancora una forte disparità tra uomo e donna.io stessa quando ero bambina pretendevo molte più cose da mia madre che da mio padre, perché davo per scontato che fosse solo la mamma ad occuparsi di tutto(anche se mia madre lavorava). finalmente le cose stanno cambiando
A casa mia mia madre lavora a tempo pieno MA deve fare tutto da sola a casa. Mio fratello e mio padre col cavolo che fanno qualcosa. E ciò che mi frustra di più è che dopo mia madre venivo io, la schiava, che non solo doveva prendere solo voti alti (il ruolo delle ragazze è quello di essere un genio a scuola e basta), doveva pulire dove sporcavano, ecc. Ora vivo lontano, forse adesso mio fratello sta facendo qualcosina in più a casa...
VictoriaLucenera esattamente quello che intendevo.solo da adulta...e da quando ho iniziato a lavorare ho aperto gli occhi su questa situazione.io sento dire spesso da uomini "io aiuto in casa"....un aiuto appunto, una cosa facoltativa, un "extra" che si concede come se non fosse anche compito loro curare la casa in cui vivono o badare ai bambini.quello che dici sul passaggio di testimone madre -figlia ė assolutamente vero soprattutto quando i genitori sono anziani.si ci aspetta sempre che sia la figlia femmina si carichi della maggior parte delle incombenze.l'italia ė ancora arretrata su questo e il fatto che i servizi per bambini e anziani (tipo asili e assistenza domiciliare)siano così miseri non aiuta
Oddio mi sto sentendo l'unica donna zozzona sulla faccia della terra... non ne sono mai andata fiera lo giuro, ma a me in casa non mi è mai andato di fare un caxxo e mi hanno sempre rotto le scatole per questo, sia i parenti che poi i conviventi.... Cioè a me i piatti sporchi nel lavandino sincertamente non danno fastidio.....
Lasciali con tutte le mutande sporche, finché non ne hanno più da mettere...vedrai come corrono ad aiutare. Io personalmente non amo fare le faccende domestiche, quindi come minimo quando andrò a convivere con qualche povero malcapitato le smezziamo.
Io al momento sto in America, in Florida, come exchange student. Vivo con una famiglia americana composta da madre, padre e due fratelli piu' piccoli di me. Molto spesso vedo questi non rispettare molto la loro madre, fregandosene delle conseguenze. SE FACESSI COME LORO SAREI MORTA, M O R T A. Le madri italiane sono piu' severe, secondo il mio punto di vista, ma ti danno una buona educazione. Ogni tanto va bene ricevere una sgridata per non aver fatto quello che si doveva fare: alla fine lo fanno solo per crescerti al meglio. Ti voglio bene mamma, anche se mi sgridi sempre.
American vs. Italian opinions on OTHER countries (like what Americana think of Canada vs what Italians think of Canada, or what Americans think of France compared to what Italians think of France) !!
i'm not italian, i'm from libya (an arab country) & the family culture in Arab countries is very similar & probably more important than in italian culture.
I American and I love my mom dearly!!!! I will also defend and protect her and would never admit her to a nursing home. Unfortunately, none of my other 6 sidling seem to care for her ........ I’m in a lost for wards.
I know a lot of people working for older people 24hrs .i meant they live with the anziani considering they have children. I think Italians taking care of their old parents depend also what is the civil status of their children if they are single and /or if they are not working. Otherwise , a lot of old people live by themselves in family house with the BADANTE or in the care home. But I agree, in general the Italians make sure that they takecare of their old parents in a way they possible can either they hire a caregiver or sent them in a care home but they are always ready to help! Just talking by experienced in this sector!
hey tia cool video!! I see myself in everything you mentioned cause I have lived both with Italian and American families! btw I think an interesting topic would be Relationships and love in USA vs Italy 😘
Love watching your videos, I'm originally from Venezuela but I been in Miami, Florida for the last 18 years, so pretty much I been raise here... My fiancé is actually Italian and he'd only been here for like 7 years, he's from Napoli, so I really really indentify with what you talk in your videos, bc definitely everything you say is right on the spot...... Here in Miami there's actually a big young Italian community that's mostly been here for a couple of years so I'm sorounded by Italian and they're culture.... I have a lot of fun watching your videos.... God Luck girl 😉🇮🇹
The MAMA rules. Dating an Italian man?? Make sure Mama likes you. Or... It's not going to work. I LOVE that in Italy people actually sit down together and have a Meal. That's why I'm still here. In NY we eat standing, walking, running. Always. Rushing. ☺️🇺🇲🇨🇮
Il fatto di non mangiare tutti assieme penso che possa essere una delle cause dei problemi di peso, hai molto meno controllo e pianificazione, rischi di andare avanti a panini o cibi ordinati al fast food.
I love the videos on life in Italy. You inspire me to start a series :-) My husband is Italian, and we live in Torino (hey! we're neighbors). I completely feel everything you said in this video. My husband is suchhh a mama's boy, although they don't have the traditional family anymore (his parents divorced). I love how you added about mom cooking dinner after she comes home from work, even though "others are completely capable".. After work, his mom comes home and cooks dinner every night for his brother smh I don't understand!
Well, if you have dinner at 6 p.m. it's normal that everybody is busy. Here in Italy we usually eat later, like 8-9 p.m., when everybody usually is at home.
That's so weird to me that you think it is formal for the family to eat dinner together. I am an American and My mom works, but she comes home every night & we eat dinner together:)
Girl this is spot on. I lived in italy for four years and have been such on he fence if my italian hudband and i should return to italy to raise our children. Such an honest pure explanation. Thank you.
I think this is the first youtube video I've commented on but I felt like it was so accurate that it deserves a comment. I'm also American but I've been living in Pavia, just south of Milan for more than 2 years now and before moving here I lived with an Italian family for a few months in the Marche. From my experiences in Italy, I agree with you 100% that the society is more patriarchal than the U.S. yet paradoxically the mother may be the most important figure in the family. I also think the role of the grandmother is notable, as they usually help the mothers with cooking, cleaning, babysitting and myriad other tasks. Perhaps there is a reason why bestemmie exist for the mother and sister, but the grandmother is off-limits. Anyway, your videos are great! I actually play lacrosse for Bocconi and a couple of friends on the team said they know you and that you're as cool in person as in the videos. Keep it up!
The family eating together can be seen as something "formal" and "traditional"; I would say it is also reserving 1 or 2 moments in the day to stay together. In reality in many cases having a meal together is just dinner, at least monday to friday. Also when you have grown-up kids they use to go out with friends for lunch or dinner, and this is accepted :-)
love this video it was really good ,I'd love to see a video about the differences between American food and Italian food specifically American variations of Italian food
I'm italian living in Germany and i enjoy watching your Videos so much because it's like traveling back home ❤️❤️ do your thang girl you deserve 1 mio subscribers!! P.S.: adoro come ti trucchi 😍
Capisco il pranzo, ma davvero non cenate tutti insieme la sera? :O Non voglio suonare sprezzante, per carità, ma mi fa stranissimo. Voglio dire, a volte io ho palestra o i miei genitori vanno ad alcuni corsi (di ballo :'D) la sera e finiamo ad aspettarci anche per una o due ore e cenare magari alle dieci di sera, ma mi farebbe strano cenare un po' per volta. È il momento della giornata dove ti incontri e racconti quello che è successo durante il giorno - ! Credevo fosse "la norma", per così dire. p.s. comunque, devo dire che adoro i tuoi video - li rivedo spesso! 👍🎉
Ognuno sta bene con quello che ha. L'imporante è non dare nulla per scontato ovvero non pensare che ciò che accade a casa nostra lo ritroviamo di default nelle altre case perchè ognuno ha una storia a sè!
So funny to hear you speak of two months of maternity leave as a "wow" thing. I guess for somebody coming from the US two months is "wow", but looking at it from a European perspective, that is no "wow" at all. I am Italian and live in Germany, and I have been living here for 4 years now, probably going to stay here for many more (for ever? Who knows, but yes, it could likely be forever). Paid maternity leave is 12 months here, but the mother is nowhere near the divinity and controlling entity it is in Italy. Speaking of "controlling" entity: I think there is one thing about Italian culture that almost nobody speaks about. Everyone knows the "mammone" stereotype, but nobody ever comments on the fact that Italian parents are crazily attached to their children, in a way that sometimes they would be happy seeing their children never growing up, and, indeed, they sometimes end up doing little things to actually prevent them from growing up. Many 30-year-old people live with their parents because they "cannot afford" living on their own. But, honestly speaking, there are many who can afford it, and when they finally tell their parents "bye mom and dad, you know what, I can afford living like an adul!"......the answer many time is:""why do you want to spend your salary paying a rent when you can stay with us for free?", completely ignoring the natural need of a 30-year-old to just live like the adult she/he is.Of course, these daughters and sons ultimately leave home, but not without quite a bit of discussions to "explain" their parents this "weird" thing that adults need to live like adults even when they are not married yet.
actually, here in italy the 'maternità obbligatoria' ('mandatory maternity period') is 5 months, so the mother gets paid 100% of her salary for 5 months to stay at home with the new-born baby. After that, we have what is called 'maternità' which is a period that a new mum can take off work, up to 1 year, to stay at home still getting paid 30% of her normal income :)
I've been watching many of your videos now and I have to admit your perception of Italy is not that far-fetched. I really like the fact that you can compare experiences and statistics and get a general view of the situation here. BTW I think I've just started relying on your opinion a lot more than I probably should lol but that's ok cause it gives me a much broader sense of myself and the country I live in. So, thank you for that. :)
Compulsory paid (at least 80%, but often 100%) maternity leave is five months, not two; I believe it's a bit over the European average, but not that much.
Tia, you are such a good girl for saying that you will look after your parents when they get old. I wish more young people would do that. blessings to you.
You got basically everything right, ahahahah! I must say, though: we have a few SWEET "mamma" bestemmie here, that at least in some regions are used in a daily basis (*cough cough* Veneto *cough cough*) I personally have come to hate when the mamma problem and the elderly problem intertwine, mostly because of my personal experience. Sometimes it can be incredibly suffocating, because it comes to the point where the mother in law becomes the main and only topic of every discussion and argument /forever/. And considering the mother in law can already be really intrusive in a marriage, having to focus on her all day even when she can't physically do it anymore can be really frustrating. In my family, my grandmother is being taken care of by a few people already, and that doesn't stop my father from dedicating most of his life to staying with her anyway instead of with his wife and daughter. :/
Thank you Tia for addressing not only stereotypes but also complexity, diversity and contradictions, and to point out how patriarchal Italian society is if compared to other so-called western countries. Thank you also for talking about present day young Italian emigrants: I wish our politicians were as aware as you are that emigrants are now statistically more numerous that immigrants from abroad, but unfortunately the government prefers to keep exploiting xenophobic propaganda to hide that they are not taking care of occupational problems. Actually Italy is going through big social changes. Population is growing statistically older and older, since one in 4 Italians is over 65, and more people is going to end their days in a residential care for elderly people, but that's something we do mostly when the elder needs so intense medical care that it would be impossible to do the same at home. Also,regarding eating together, it's not very common to do it at lunch, but we just can't conceive having dinner separately! It is the most precious moment of the day! Also, many people who lives more or less far from their parents still visit them weekly for Sunday lunch, even if many people find it heavy and annoying, they feel compelled to do it, and if you are in a couple, you usually have to balance between both families. I never said a bestemmia in my life but I can't believe other languages don't have them! Come on there must be!
I enjoy your USA vs Italy videos! I would like to see more of your day to day life. ☺️ When I start working, one of my long term goals is to retire my mom in the community of her choice. I don't think she'd want to live with me lol, but she always tells me there will be room for me at her house if I needed somewhere to stay.
You should have named it :Italian/Indian families v/s American families i'm coming here right after watching Godfather part 1,I find a lot of similarities b/w an Indian family and an Italian family.Worshipping Mothers is so true here and also is the Old people,they simply live with the family and sending them to Old age homes,is frowned upon here :)
Hey Tia, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you & your videos! Your content is so interesting and factful, and your way of telling it always puts a smile on my face. love from germany! ☺️
I want you to say that, I'm Sicilian and you know there are some differences between the north and the south of Italy, and that's complitely true! We celebrate togheter, we eat together and normaly is my mother that washes out the dishes and stuff but, helping our mothers is not so usual here; personaly I do that, I help her even with cleaning the house but I don't know Sicily is quite complicated I still hear things like ''Is a woman job'', I want to move!
Ciao Tia, obiettivamente l'Italia è abbastanza arretrata rispetto all'America ma anche agli altri paesi europei. Nonostante ciò, da adolescente italiano, pur criticando costantemente il mio paese, vedendo questo video ho capito che sono davvero fiero di essere cresciuto in Italia con questi valori. Come potrei abbandonare le persone che mi hanno cresciuto in un ospizio!? Anche se tutti gli italiani sono stereotipati come "mammoni" nel resto del mondo, credo sia solo sconfinato amore verso nostra madre, che resterà sempre e comunque la donna che ci ha donato la vita, quindi la persona più importante. Complimenti, hai realizzato un video che fa riflettere davvero. ❤️
Giuseppe Ferraro prego? È arretrata? Tesoro negli USA hanno la pena di morte, UCCIDONO persone legalmente, anche con basso quoziente intellettivo (vedi Aileen Wornos, è previsto l'ergastolo per i minorenni, c'è una sparatoria ogni 3 x 2 a scuola, bullismo dilagante (vedi la strage Columbine), i giudici vengono eletti e non sono reclutati tramite concorso, la sanità non è accessibile a tutti, devo continuare? Capisco farsi traviare dal "sogno americano", ma riflettere, informarsi e aprire gli occhi sarebbe meglio a mio avviso
Concordo in pieno, ma non era questo il contesto adatto per farne una questione politica. E' un video di intrattenimento non di informazione, quindi, a mio parere, era inutile tirare in ballo questo problema nel mio commento che era rivolto totalmente ad altro.
Tia can you explain me why all american movies (except adventure, police and war movies) all deal with "the family" in general as main subject of any plot, how good are the moms, how they sacrifice for their childs, and always play of families getting again unite for Christmas, or families gathering for weddings and funerals? It seems that emancipated and indipendent americans cry like toddlers as they are not enough mama girls and mama boys as they desired to be, abd that they want people of families being more tied with their parents and in the end it seems that they are secretely envy of peoples like us italians that have normal relationships with our whole families...
I come from an all American family (but I plan on moving to Italy when I turn 18) but my parents always taught me that we do not put our elders in a home. We take care of them because they took care of us.
Loved this video. You are spot on. I was born in America my parents, grand parents and husband born in Italy. I still have a home in Italy. My family was run the Italian way in which you described until my son married an pure American. No clue to our traditions it's very hard for me and very sad.
Ciao Tia, sulla questione "anziani e case di riposo" posso raccontarti la mia esperienza. Non sono per niente vecchia, anzi non supero i diciotto, ma ho l'esperienza dei miei nonni a parlare al posto della mia inesistente. La mia nonna materna ha sui settanta anni, ma sta alla grande ed è pienamente capace di vivere da sola. Quella paterna, invece, purtroppo per un problema medico di diversi anni fa' che l'ha quasi uccisa (credo, ero molto piccola ma ricordo qualcosa di simile) è sulla sedia a rotelle. Il tuo discorso mi ha fatto ricordare le discussioni che c'erano state al tempo su come prendersi cura di lei. Ricordo che la prima idea era di affiancarle una badante, ma poi si era deciso di metterla in una casa di riposo perché le sue condizioni erano troppo gravi. Nonostante ciò, prima che scoppiasse il Covid mio padre la andava a trovare una volta a settimana e abbiamo sempre fatto dei pranzi per Natale e per Pasqua con lei. Con la nonna materna continuo a vedermi abbastanza spesso, ma con quella paterna purtroppo non si può. È da un anno che non la vedo dal vivo, ma questo weekend potrò andare a farle visita. Grazie mille Tia, con questo video mi hai ricordato i miei nonni!💛
Ciao Tia, posso assicurarti che per esperienza personale, a mia madre piace cucinare. A volte la sera dopo mangiato mi chiede cosa voglio per il giorno dopo, e io molto spesso dico che mi arrangio, visto che lei lavora dalle 9.30 fino alle 6 di sera. Ma anche se lo dico, mi fa da mangiare comunque. Quindi da un parere personale è una tradizione che hanno tutte le mamme e che ha volte può anche piacere :D P.s. Alle 6 comunque beviamo il tè o prendiamo un break, come lo chiamate voi; si mangia di solito verso le 8/8.30
È davvero interessante il tuo punto di vista perchè per me è scontato cenare con la mia famiglia ogni sera per esempio, ma capisco che non sia lo stesso in ogni cultura. Per quanto riguarda le donne non sono d'accorco con tutto quello che hai detto. Comunque mi è piaciuto molto il video :)
about taking care of old people is true. My mum tried so hard to keep grandpa with us, but after a year and half, (because he was mentally ill) we had to put in in a home where they could take care of him and my mum was sad, very sad. Because she felt like she had failed him.
About the way we treat our elders in Italy, I think the "they're going to live with us when they're old" thing has mostly disappeared (at least in the north, I can't speak for the south). What most people do nowadays is they hire a caretaker (a "badante") to go and live with their parent(s), or at least to stay with them during the day. This way the parents don't have to leave their house and things are easier for people who work all day and wouldn't be able to take care of them 24/7 otherwise. It's an imperfect solution but it's better than putting them in a nursing home.
CLOSE TO HOME 1) being near does not mean to be in a close relation. for example, i am a daughter, have a younger sister, a mother and a father, but we do not talk that much. i could say we hardly speak except for daily tasks like knowing when one leaves and comes back, how school went and like that. questions needing single-phrase answeres. it has always been like this in my family and my friends' families. to me and my friends the family comes after studies/work, friends and hobbies. 2) my family has never moved from town except for holiday, but we are an exception. many friends of mine have moved from montains to sea or vice versa or from south to nord. 3) we go to uniersty (college in the usa) at the age of 18/19 and we can choose to go away from home. i did not chose this way only because the university i like is near my town, but most of my classmates are from center or south (Puglia, Lazio, Campania, Sicily). anyway i live in a flat from monday to friday even if i am near home, so cercany is not a matter.
Ciao Tia! Quando sono stata negli USA e in Inghilterra questa differenza nel momento dei pasti ha colpito molto anche me, non capivo come potesse non esserci quel momento in cui ci si siede tutti insieme a tavola per mangiare, perché per noi è fondamentale, e quando capitava di non riuscire a tornare tutti a casa per pranzo (i miei lavorano e spesso rimangono in ufficio anche nel pomeriggio, con una breve pausa pranzo) io e mio fratello li raggiungevamo vicino all'ufficio, pur di mangiare insieme. Però devo dire che, almeno per quanto mi riguarda, non è vero che sia sempre la madre a cucinare: spesso cucino io (o mio padre) perché lei torna tardi dal lavoro, ma in realtà devo dire che noi siamo una famiglia abbastanza moderna, soprattutto per gli standard abitudinari siciliani. XD Inoltre, sempre nella mia esperienza personale, nella mia famiglia gli anziani sono molto importanti MA non vengono a vivere con noi, quasi mai. Non li metteremmo MAI in una casa di riposo, ma piuttosto assumiamo una persona che si prenda cura di loro nella loro casa. Questo perché la mia famiglia vive (io ora vivo a Milano) in una città relativamente piccola, e le distanze sono molto piccole, quindi raggiungiamo i nostri parenti in pochi minuti. Questo infatti a volte mi fa riflettere, perché io sicuramente non tornerò a vivere nella stessa città dove vivono i miei, e la cosa mi preoccupa perché voglio comunque trovare un modo per prendermene cura quando sarà il momento.
Hi Tia, I would like to know in which areas you think there is "maschilismo" here in Italy, and if there is more maschilismo in Italy than in America. And by areas i don' t mean geographically, I mean in which scopes, fields etc...
Italy could seem very patriarchal, but mothers are so highly valued. But the patriarchal aspect is a very old fashioned set up, shown in movies like the Godfather Trilogy.
Io che vivo in America ho notato che le famiglie qui non sono unite come le nostre in Italia. E' vero che ognuno lavora tutto il giorno ma non si sforzano di mangiare assieme, magari la sera. Addirittura i ragazzini spesso mangiano sul divano guardando la tv (solitamente non hanno tv in cucina) e anche se potrebbero mangiare almeno con la madre, seduti allo stesso tavolo, ognuno mangia quando capita. Sono stato a un barbecue al mare per festeggiare la laurea di mia cugina italo-americana...nessuno che le avesse detto congratulazioni, i parenti, cugini e zii vari arrivavano a orari diversi, salutavano ma poi chi prima arrivava prima mangiava, senza neanche ricordarsi che si era lì per la laurea. Si poteva anche aspettare che fossero arrivati tutti e iniziare tutti assieme attorno alla tavola ma qui non badano a queste formalità, forse è l'individualismo, se hanno fame mangiano, non aspettano ahah. L'unica volta che sembrano un famiglia all'Italiana, più unita, è a Thanksgiving.
Well, ok, i can realize why this video is concentrating on the "mammone's issues" and on the mothers' role in the italian society, but no-one seems to care about the weird relationship between italian women and their fathers, a problem that has a huge impact. The italian daughters really worship their fathers and, in the adulthood, go looking for a man who can protect her and make her feel like the fairy tales' princess all the time (just like their father did all the time). That makes them remain very childish and capricious. Remeber the "BUONGIORNO PRINCIPESSA!" from the Roberto Benigni's movie "La Vita E' Bella"? Yes, the "Principessa's issue": literally the italian (or the worldwide?) women's ambition and obsession. Personally, I think this happens everywhere and not just in Italy, but in Italy this treatment is more radical and affects a huge impact in the social life, even because very often the italian men are "mammoni" and not just ordinary guys. Therefore, italian men and women are placed in two antithetical "psychic places" (men want to be eternally looked after; women want to be eternally protected and endlessly courted), but everyone seems to spotlight the italian men's behaviour.
I just love the way you're able to look and compare different cultures, I admire you 😊😊 you seem a really interesting (and wise for a young adult) person, it must be great discuss with you :) keep on doing these great contents 💪💪
I love your channel! Yes , in Italy there is a patriarchal family ...It's strange for us knowing that in Usa there aren't 'bestemmie'...This explains a lot about what is the (dangerous often) role of religion in our society and how it is determining in the structure of the italian family. I would like to listen your opinion between Usa & Italy about the instruction and system school in general. Sorry for my english, If I made mistakes...Bye! :D
Ciao Tia :) Per quello che mi riguarda non si tratta di "formalità" (il fatto di mangiare sempre tutti insieme), ma credo che noi italiani cerchiamo di riunire la famiglia intorno alla tavola semplicemente perché ci fa stare bene, nel senso che vediamo il momento del pranzo o della cena come un momento per ritrovarsi con il resto della famiglia, parlare, scherzare, confrontarsi...non solo per nutrirsi, come magari accade in altre parti del mondo... perché, proprio come hai detto tu, la famiglia (e il cibo) è importante qui... O almeno cerchiamo di riuscirci il più spesso possibile, in accordo con gli impegni di tutti, ovviamente bisogna considerare anche che in Italia l'orario medio in cui si cena non sono le 18 ma le 20/21... Cio non toglie che non sono regole obbligatorie o formalità, ma semplicemente il piacere di mangiare in compagnia piuttosto che da soli... :) :*
verissimo!! e aggiungo che non si fa solo con la famiglia canonica, tantissimi miei amici che sono fuorisede all'università cercano sempre di cenare inseme ai coinquilini (a meno che non si stiano sui coglioni hahahah). ma anche solo in pausa pranzo, un italiano cerca sempre qualcuno per mangiare insieme! quando vedo qualcuno seduto al tavolo a mangiare da solo mi sale una tristezza infinita hahahahaha
Il fatto di mangiare tutti insieme mi piace molto. La cosa che mi stupisce invece, che è una cosa che ho notato a casa del mio fidanzato al sud, quindi forse non è così in tutta Italia, è che la madre prepara, cucina, toglie i piatti, lava i piatti, mentre i suoi figli ed il marito stanno a tavola, mangiano, poi si alzano e se ne vanno a guardare la tv. Adesso che convivo con il mio ragazzo devo combattere con questa abitudine tutti i giorni, che pesantezza.
Agne Zickaite in realtà io sono del sud e non è per niente così nella mia famiglia , poi le famiglie cambiano
Agne zickaite ,le mamme del sud ,quelle come la mia che oggi hanno 80 anni , non gli da fastidio quelle cose , anzi se chiedi di aiutarla sicuramente ti risponde :lascia stare vai a riposarti, . Per loro e un qualcosa di grande fare questo per i figli , e lo fanno più per i figli che per il marito ,. Mia madre ha 80 anni , mio fratello ha 50 anni abita vicino a mia madre , mia madre continua a farenil panino per lui che si porta a lavorare , tutti i giorni ,. Prima non mangiava sul lavoro e mia madre gli diceva vieni a mangiare qui a mezzogiorno , .,per loro non e problema fare le cose per i figli,almeno parlo delle madri come la mia ,mamme di una volta ,quelle di oggi non le capisco molto, la mamma non e solo per cagare il figlio e basta ,ma poi hli da amore cosi e non con soldi o cazzate materiali
@@ideopirata1067 no, semplicemente le madri di oggi lavorano e hanno molto da fare, quindi è giusto che tutti diano una mano.
I didn't know that in America people don't eat together or set the table.
It sounds so weird to me
So everyone brings his meal in his own room?
omg, my mother would never let me do that
and if you want to leave the table before that everyone has finished, you have to ask
Italy sounds like Victorian Britain (in the late 1800s and early 1900s).
David Ndiulor oh cool ahahaha
"i wouldn't mind having italian kids because they're gonna worship me".. i died xD
+The Cookie_man 😂😂😂
The fact that "maschilismo" is so mainstream in Italy helped to exalt the mother figure. We are not talking about a celabration of the woman, we are talking about a woman who is a mother, and that's the thing which gives her holiness. Being a mother means that traditionally people is going to expect that she's good, patient and that she's able to cook and clean and that she wishes to serve her husband and children, so her life basically should be focused on this. This cultural heritage is heavy and has always clipped women's wings. About divorce, the law doesn't say anything about "mother" and "father", there's a reference about "parents", maybe it's more typical that the children end up staying with their mom, because it's considered more normal, since a woman is supposed to be good at parenting. The thing that there's a protection of motherhood collides with this culture, so young women struggle to find a job because they could be mother one day, and that's expensive, during job interviews women are asked if they have a family and if they would like to have one, if you don't, it's better. There's
also a trick which is used in some jobs, known as "dimissioni in bianco" which basically makes easy to fire a woman when she gets pregnant. Tia, women are not so protected in Italy and the mother figure is holy only when she serves her family, we have a lot to do, we need to change our culture.
Il fatto che il maschilismo sia così diffuso in Italia non contrasta con l'esaltazione della figura materna, ma anzi ne é in buona parte causa. Infatti non si parla di esaltazione della figura femminile in sé, ma della figura della madre, e a questa figura si ricollegano tradizionalmente una serie di aspettative e doveri di stampo maschilista: paziente, buona, cucina, pulisce, serve marito e figli etc. Per quanto riguarda l'aspetto legale a favore della madre, forse intendi in ambito di divorzio, non è esattamente così, nella legge non si parla di madre o padre, si parla di genitori, può essere più tipico che si decida che il bambino stia con la madre e che il padre contribuisca a mantenerlo. E il fatto che ci sia una minima tutela della figura materna, fa sì che le giovani donne che cercano lavoro vengano assunte più raramente, in quanto donne e potenziali madri, ai colloqui di lavoro gli viene chiesto se intendono avere una famiglia e il fenomeno delle "dimissioni in bianco" che facilita il licenziamento delle donne gravide, è diffuso, se le donne fossero veramente tutelate, questo non accadrebbe.
Thank you! Well said!!
Grazie! Ben detto!! 👏🏻
Ciao Tia! Sono italiana, ed uno dei motivi per cui guardo con piacere i tuoi video è che trovo davvero interessante vedere come uno straniero che vive qui da noi "percepisce" l'Italia. Credo inoltre tu sia una ragazza estremamente intelligente, ed è davvero un piacere seguire il tuo canale ☺️ Keep it up ✌🏻️(one a side note, the fact that you're constantly trying to improve your knowledge of both the language and the culture of the country you're currently living in it's really admirable 🙏🏻 ☺️)
Per me sarebbe stranissimo non cenare con la mia famiglia alla sera, non ci vediamo molto spesso durante il giorno e la cena è un momento per stare insieme e parlare. Personalmente poi a me piace abbastanza cucinare e buttare un po' di pasta non è difficile. Per me è un bel momento della giornata, e una cosa che ho sempre apprezzato.
Sì non è che puoi mangiare pasta ogni giorno della tua vita...
Sorryscene Ovvio che non mangi solo pasta, era un esempio.
Amy Ehi :P
è vero il pranzo e la cena è un momento importante da condividere con la tua famiglia o con gli amici. Mangiare da sola mi rende triste :(
Amy Ehi uguale
mammone is not a stereotype, its a fact (says one living with a mammone)
unfortunately 😅
Emy Reynoso Oviedo a stereotype* :)
Alfred Carignano thanks for the correction! Lol
It's a fact? Well ofc if young ppl cannot find a job! -_- Job= money= leave the family! It's a fact but NOT A CHOICE!
felice di essere un "mammone", e avere rapporti saldi con la mia famiglia
questa si chiama cultura e tradizione cosa che a voi americani manca totalmente
It's not formal stay all together around the table at dinner, it's something that let the family spend time together and talk about everything. It's not a formal momento at all
*moment
no, i genitori in una pensione no! scusami eh, i tuoi fanno di tutto per crescerti e volerti bene, il minimo che bisogna fare è non farli invecchiare/morire in un posto del genere 😅
Dipende che pensione è e dove ti ritrovi a lavorare e vivere tu... e non dare per scontato che i genitori ti abbiano cresciuto/a e voluto bene, perché non è mica un dato universale!
Certo ma se è possibile occuparsi di loro perché non farlo? Poi ovviamente ci sono sempre le eccezioni (lavori tutto il giorno, abiti in un'altra città ecc.) :)
Antares nel cuore voglio portarti il mio esempio. Mia nonna oramai è anziana, ma sia mia madre, sia mio padre sono dipendenti pubblici e lavorano pressoché sempre e mia nonna si trova in una pensione fantastica! Dire che si è super accuditi e ti vogliono bene è dir poco! È la cosa più bella è che quando a volte portiamo mia nonna a casa per un pranzo di famiglia (soprattutto le domeniche), arrivate le 17 è lei a voler tornare alla residenza. Questo non significa che uno non voglia bene all'altro, solo che le situazioni stanno cambiando, specialmente in una società come quella dell'Italia settentrionale (non è un'offerta contro il sud, considerate le mie origini)!
Antares nel cuore Beh se uno ha le possibilità materiali ma non mentali (cioè rischia l'esaurimento a star dietro ad un anziano non autosufficiente) è più sano per tutti se sta in un istituto dove è seguito da gente che ha studiato appositamente per ciò. Poi comunque ci sono anche le badanti, molte altre soluzioni che non prevedono il suo trasferimento... insomma, è una cosa da fare se conviene davvero per tutti, non come 'dovere'.
Alfred Carignano certo assolutamente, l'importante è che sia l'anziano sia i parenti siano felici, in realtà neanche io stavo considerando il trasferimento, perché ammettiamolo, ci vuole un sacco di pazienza a star dietro ad un anziano, ritornano bambini e hanno bisogno di un sacco di cure, io sto parlando più che altro di piccoli gesti, una spazzata a terra ogni tanto, fare un pó di pasta al forno in più in modo da non farli cucinare, insomma sono dell'idea di non doversene fregarle completamente. Forse nel primo commento mi sono spiegata un pó male 😅
Tia, i need to point something out concerning the "mother" aspect. Everything you mentioned is actually true, but i think you only focused on the positive side of things. The fact that mothers are so respected is of course very nice but on the other hand, women are most of the time only valued AS mothers or potential future mothers. Imo this is very sexist and disrespectful, because one should respect women in general, which for some people here in Italy it doesn't always happen. For example, you might have noticed that catcalling is VEERY frequent here. Well, if a visibly pregnant woman walks down the street, she definitely won't be harassed in any way by men, because they respect her JUST AS A FUTURE MOTHER. And I hate that. And concerning maternity leave, many employers during job interviews will actually ask you if you are in a stable relationship or thinking about having children, because nobody is actually happy to be paying maternity leave.
There would be many more things to point out that show how much of a sexist country Italy is when it comes to these things, but i've already written way too much Lol.
Anyway, thank you for always putting out quality content that makes people reflect upon stereotypes and many other things. Un bacio
diciottottobre totally agree with you ..
+diciottottobre yep I agree with everything you said and yep that's where the contradiction comes from. I hope the maschilisti in my comments section read this as well. I just wanted to be careful with what I said in a video like this because one wrong word and some people would have gotten super offended.... anyways I'm so happy you're enjoying and thank you for bringing educated discussion to my comments section! ❤️
As an Italian, YES - this is literally a side effect of patriarchy in our culture. Reason why I left the country really, thanks Tia for calling it out.
Save the children just released the best place to be a woman: Italy is 10th, the USA 32th 27esimaora.corriere.it/16_ottobre_12/i-paesi-dove-peggio-nascere-bimbe-save-children-75f48cf8-8fed-11e6-a48d-80f1fedf0a64.shtml
"Gli Stati Uniti, l’economia più grande del mondo (e ottavi per sviluppo umano), sono 32esimi sotto l’Algeria e il Kazakistan a causa delle molte gravidanze adolescenziali e il rischio di mortalità materna."
Beh, certo che se questi sono i principali metri di paragone, mi sembra normale che un paese come gli USA dove l'educazione sessuale è scarsa e l'assistenza sanitaria è elitaria e costosa, abbia questi risultati in classifica. Io mi riferivo (in breve, perchè ce ne sarebbero di altre cose da dire) a un maschilismo che si riscontra soprattutto a livello sociale, nelle relazioni interpersonali. Ovvio che paragonare l'Italia al Ciad o all'India è ridicolo. Comunque grazie per aver linkato l'articolo, molto interessante.
Children take care of their parents not only because they're their parents, but also because their parents have taken care of their grandchildren as well. Too many children and parents in this sentence. What I mean is: my parents are going to take care of my children when I have them, so I'm gonna take care of my parents when they get old. Hope that makes sense.
I have to agree with you on convalescent homes: in Italy they're considered a "last resort" (for example for people in need of special medical treatments). As an Italian living in the US I was pretty shocked to see my ex boyfriend send his elderly mom to a convalescent home without a second thought!
+Iréne yeaaa...
One little clarification though: vote for women in Italy was supposed to come into effect after WW1, but then, you know, fascism, etc, no one was voting back then, not even males, the fascist party was the only party and the "vote" was for stuff like "do you agree with the list of ministers proposed by the party? yes/no". it was generally 99% yes, since the vote wasn't actually secret.
The thing you said about mothers coming back from work only to work some more at home is sooo true. My mom is a journalist on TV she works all day and when she comes home she sets the table with some help from me and my sister, then she cooks all by herself and cleans everything up. All my dad does is complain that the pasta is too overcooked or something like that. She acts like his slave and I always feel really bad because she's always very sad and cries a lot. I just know that when she gets older it will be my turn to take care of her.
That's so sad 😥
In my family we almost never have luch together because my parents work and I go to Uni, but we always have dinner together. It is not formality, it's the best way to get together and talk about our day. Sometimes my mum makes dinner even if she comes home ah 7pm, sometimes my dad makes it and other days I make dinner, it depends. Even when my mum gets late we will wait for her and eat together. I find it sad that elsewhere there isn't this "formality" because it is such a nice way to be around your family.
Quindi se vado in America e insulto qualcuno dicendo "your mom" nessuno mi capisce?? :O
hahahahaahah
Diodato Scarpato in italia non puoi dire "tua madre!" a qualcuno che subito si offendono ahahahahahah
Per quanto riguarda la mia esperienza: nelle chat di videogiochi si usa comunque spesso "ur mom", quindi ti capiscono, ma penso si offendano in media meno rispetto all'Italia.
HAHAHAHAHAHAA
Diodato Scarpato e che ne so io chi capisce sta qua
"I wouldn't mind having Italian children because they'll worship me" lol, best line.
living as an au pair here in Italy i also LOVE the respect elders are treated with. the relationship existing between the nonno e nonna e le ragazze è bellisimo!! i also love old people here in general, they are really patient with my clumsy italian and so encouraging. i feel so bad when i forget the appropriate ways to address them 😔😔
It's just like there's always time for food :P in Italy is actually the opposite of "just rich people eat together" the stereotype would be that rich people don't even care about family while who's not that rich give more importance to not material things, cause they don't worry that much about money... this is just stereotypes but I think the fact Italian families eat mostly together is also because of the importance food has
Hi Tia, I can't say about USA, but I lived in Australia for 4 years (I'm Italian) and I'd say that a big difference with their families is that in Italian families everyone is very involved in each other lives. We tend to share many more details about what's going on with us, with our friends, relationships etc while in Australia they are more private and independent. Also in Australia everyone is more self sufficient from a young age, while in Italy you sort of expect that your parents will help you, especially financially.
Tia in Italy we respect and we need grandparents, they are great baby-sitters and chefs, sometimes also gardener. They are an important elements in the family
Even in Italy if in a family there are several brothers and sisters, usually is only ONE of them who takes care of the elderly parents.
And in Italy we have the sistems of the "badanti", which allows elderly people to stay at their home even if they are not more fully indipendent; I think we are the only country that adopted such sistem.
Of course, if we think for example of a country as Sweden, where there isn't almost no concept of family, where society is only for individuals, everyone alone with himself, we feel a lot lucky.
I want to specificate one thing: we fish school about 2:00 pm and the most of jobs end at 2:00pm too. So we have much time to prepare lunch. We absolutely don't eat at 6:00 pm, we have dinner at 8:30/9 pm, because during the evening everyone has own activities to do.
I went to California a couple years ago and I was shocked about how many people that went through a divorce I met (and I'm talking about beeing at their third marriage o more, no kidding!). The fact is that even if I do agree about having the possibility of having a divorce I also think that peolple tends to not fight for their marriage. having more than one divorce means that either you get married too soon or you don't know how to try hard to make something work. Anyway I like your videos and I like that you try to be as neutral as possible while listing differences beetween two Countries that are deeply different. I don't always agree with your point of view and I don't always recall what you say as something that really happens but I still enjoy them and they are also a very good exercise for my english. have a nice day! :D
+Giuli Minna well I'm glad you found them useful for something! :D you rock!
Wow, you've figured out us very well :)
Obviously there are some generalizations but it's inevitable.
You're right to say that we are getting closer to the American model, only a few years ago these differences were much bigger. I suggest USA vs Italy job market.
Hi Tia
I'd love to watch a video where you'd be pointing out the main differences between working in the US and Italy(working perspectives,environment,relationship with your co workers etc etc etc).Love your videos♥
+Paulo Warhol that would be so interesting! Noted!
Hey Tia, I'm from Milan but currently on exchange in Australia and I completely get how you feel right now but reversed. I love the fact that you don't really have to put much effort in dressing the table here but still, I find it pretty sad sometimes! The fact is that we use meals (especially dinner) as a moment to catch up with our lives and spend some time together since we don't see each other during the day. And I like the fact that you're definitely more free than me to move to another country and live your life without having to worry about your parents, yet how can you leave them like that if they need you? And it's so weird how being here I learnt that there are things of your culture that I'd never be able to assimilate and things of the Italian culture that you'll never be able to make yours, but hey that's what's beautiful about cultures. I mean, I get how you can feel our family is still pretty patriarcal but at the same time I don't get why you would treat your parents as if their effort in growing you is always taken for granted and they can't even count on your help when they need it. However, I swear I could hear you know saying how childish we are and how we can't live without our lovely moms. It's just one of those cultural differences that we both would keep, and that's okay.
Hey, I'm from the south of Italy and I just wanted to add that yes, we have the habit of eating together whenever we can, but in my family it's my dad that cooks most of the times and it's because he loves it. My mother, my sister and me do it too, but dad's the chef :)
In addiction, we all set the table and we all get up to take our plates away or to get the food, it's not like our mom's a waitress.
Tia, grazie a te sto perfezionando sempre di più il mio inglese, riesco a capire il 90% di quello che dici. Analisi interessanti e condivisibili. Sei stupenda!
+Alessio S. P. Grazieee!
I enjoyed watching your video. It is interesting hearing about your experiences in Italy and America. I am from Michigan and my mom made homemade meals everyday. We certainly were not rich and grew up in a rural area. Some of the food was grown in our garden. I always thought this was normal until I went to college. Most of my peers grew up going to restaurants often. I never went to restaurants as a child
It's always nice to hear what you think! In general, I think what you said it's true, even though I'm an exception xD despite being italian 100%, my family is more like the american one rather than the traditional italian one. A difference that I noticed is that the family ties are way stronger in the south of italy, rather than in the north. As for the mammoni thing, it's true that there are many people who live with their parents, but I suppose only a small/medium percentage do that because "they want to". I'm 25, still living with my parent because I live on a minimum wage, and with 500 euro in a month I can't afford renting an apartment, pay the bills etc etc. I still consider myself lucky for having found a part-time job during this economic crisis, I know many people of my age who are jobless...but as you said, many italians have been leaving italy day by day (130.000 in the last year) and these people don't have any problem living alone and being independent, so I think many mammoni don't really want to be mammoni, they are forced to (just like me). That being said, I don't deny there is another category of people who live with their parents because they like being "served" by mummy, it's just that I don't think it's the majority. As for the right to vote, it's true but I think it's more like a european thing rather than typical italian: In switzeland women acquired the right to vote only in 1971!! In greece 1952, France 1944 etc etc so I think italy (1946) was kind of "in line" with many other (not all) european countries. (Sorry for my english, I hope I made myself understood XD). Looking forward your next video! :)
Luckily my Italian boyfriend is not a mammone :) Grazie a Dio! However, when you started talking about Italians taking care of their parents when they grow old and can't take care of themselves anymore, it really struck a cord with me. My boyfriend is already worried about how he is going to take care of his mom when she gets old and ill. I told him that he can always have her put in a convalescent home (I'm not Italian, and where I come from it's common practice for elderly to go to a nursing home, where they are taken care of by competent people/staff, which also puts the pressure off the family members facing the difficult task of juggling all these aspects of daily life). When I told him about the option of putting his mom in a nursing home, he looked at me like I was crazy. Obviously it's a big no no here.
Well it would be shocking because parents nursed you at your vulnerable tender age and they are the people who will be with you through thick and thin..(excluding dysfunctional parents) Sending them to old age homes will be heartbreaking for them. Just imagine you are being taken care of strangers during the last few years of life, while the people who meant the most to you in your life visit you once in a while.
Of course some might say that it was parents choice to have kids and it was their responsibility to take care and that you need not pay back any favours.Well those people dont understand family love
I respect and love italian culture, and notice that in the south of Italy, relatives are either really protective and caring with each other, or they have a passionate love /hate relationship. And I say passionate because if you read classic literature or opera, the problems between them are quite similar which resume pretty much into betraying or ignoring something considered sacred. These two types of relationships have one thing in common: They seat to have dinner together to keep mamma happy. What about the Dad? He looks secondary many times, a silent figure of reference, a provider and a surname donator, like Joseph was in the relationship between Mary, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But he still has to do the traditional masculine chores.
il tuo commento è vero. Mi ha fatto riflettere. una cosa solamente posso aggiungere: Joseph was a protector of the holy family. and I think that protectin the family is the father's role, to keep the family unite is the mom's role. dad is not secondary, just diff'rent. btw it's true that mom is sacred and your parallelism with the Holy Family is true. but dad generally is not less loved than mom. Many time it happens that a son is more jelouse of his mom, a doughter of his dad, but I think this happens everywhere.
luigi raspinelli : Thank you for adding this part! I was afraid of being too intrusive with my comment. But you are right, the father is just a different but equally lovable role. This paralelism is noticeable also in most of Latin America, thanks to Roman Catholic influence. Saluti!
Allora in realtà anche al nord è molto molto importante la famiglia quindi in tutta Italia
I agree with all you said in the video, but i think in italy womens are just not respected enough as mothers unless they're *le proprie*(sorry but IDK how to say it in english) mothers... i mean, if a mother breast-feed her child in public, other people (expecially mens) will look at her in a bad way, like *feeding a child is something bad that shows a little too much* or other shit like this, and is something very incoherent cause "showing a little more Skin" is usually considered sexy by mens, but when a women does to breast-feed no, it's just a bad thing. Idk, i'm a 16yrs old straight boy and i just think womens are equal as men, and straight people is just equal as lgbt people... btw, can you do a video about this topic (or in general, about acceptance of a minority)? I really love u! Baci 😘
Btw sorry for my bad english lmao
Gabriele Billè le proprie madri= their own mothers
Secondo me questa cosa di mettere sul piedistallo "la mamma" ė un'arma a doppio taglio per le donne...di fatto ė un ruolo carico di aspettative davvero complicato soddisfare se sei una donna che lavora.in passato la maggior parte delle donne si occupavano esclusivamente della famiglia, mamma e casalinga a tempo pieno.oggi la maggior parte delle donne lavora ma si continuano comunque a pretendere gli stessi alti standard delle madri esclusivamente casalinghe di un tempo...caricando ancora di più il lavoro delle donne in casa e nella cura dei figli...come se le donne al pari degli uomini non abbiano bisogno di riposo dopo una giornata di lavoro.per quanto riguarda le faccende domestiche e tempo dedicato ai figli c'è ancora una forte disparità tra uomo e donna.io stessa quando ero bambina pretendevo molte più cose da mia madre che da mio padre, perché davo per scontato che fosse solo la mamma ad occuparsi di tutto(anche se mia madre lavorava). finalmente le cose stanno cambiando
A casa mia mia madre lavora a tempo pieno MA deve fare tutto da sola a casa. Mio fratello e mio padre col cavolo che fanno qualcosa. E ciò che mi frustra di più è che dopo mia madre venivo io, la schiava, che non solo doveva prendere solo voti alti (il ruolo delle ragazze è quello di essere un genio a scuola e basta), doveva pulire dove sporcavano, ecc. Ora vivo lontano, forse adesso mio fratello sta facendo qualcosina in più a casa...
VictoriaLucenera esattamente quello che intendevo.solo da adulta...e da quando ho iniziato a lavorare ho aperto gli occhi su questa situazione.io sento dire spesso da uomini "io aiuto in casa"....un aiuto appunto, una cosa facoltativa, un "extra" che si concede come se non fosse anche compito loro curare la casa in cui vivono o badare ai bambini.quello che dici sul passaggio di testimone madre -figlia ė assolutamente vero soprattutto quando i genitori sono anziani.si ci aspetta sempre che sia la figlia femmina si carichi della maggior parte delle incombenze.l'italia ė ancora arretrata su questo e il fatto che i servizi per bambini e anziani (tipo asili e assistenza domiciliare)siano così miseri non aiuta
Oddio mi sto sentendo l'unica donna zozzona sulla faccia della terra... non ne sono mai andata fiera lo giuro, ma a me in casa non mi è mai andato di fare un caxxo e mi hanno sempre rotto le scatole per questo, sia i parenti che poi i conviventi.... Cioè a me i piatti sporchi nel lavandino sincertamente non danno fastidio.....
tranquilla vivo da sola ora e i piatti li lavo in emergenza hahahahaah
Lasciali con tutte le mutande sporche, finché non ne hanno più da mettere...vedrai come corrono ad aiutare. Io personalmente non amo fare le faccende domestiche, quindi come minimo quando andrò a convivere con qualche povero malcapitato le smezziamo.
Sense of humor differences between northamerican and italian
sai valorizzare questo paese come nessun altro!!
grazie💕
+mari ben 😍 grazie a voi!
Io al momento sto in America, in Florida, come exchange student. Vivo con una famiglia americana composta da madre, padre e due fratelli piu' piccoli di me. Molto spesso vedo questi non rispettare molto la loro madre, fregandosene delle conseguenze. SE FACESSI COME LORO SAREI MORTA, M O R T A. Le madri italiane sono piu' severe, secondo il mio punto di vista, ma ti danno una buona educazione. Ogni tanto va bene ricevere una sgridata per non aver fatto quello che si doveva fare: alla fine lo fanno solo per crescerti al meglio.
Ti voglio bene mamma, anche se mi sgridi sempre.
American vs. Italian opinions on OTHER countries (like what Americana think of Canada vs what Italians think of Canada, or what Americans think of France compared to what Italians think of France) !!
i'm not italian, i'm from libya (an arab country) & the family culture in Arab countries is very similar & probably more important than in italian culture.
I American and I love my mom dearly!!!! I will also defend and protect her and would never admit her to a nursing home. Unfortunately, none of my other 6 sidling seem to care for her ........ I’m in a lost for wards.
I know a lot of people working for older people 24hrs .i meant they live with the anziani considering they have children. I think Italians taking care of their old parents depend also what is the civil status of their children if they are single and /or if they are not working. Otherwise , a lot of old people live by themselves in family house with the BADANTE or in the care home. But I agree, in general the Italians make sure that they takecare of their old parents in a way they possible can either they hire a caregiver or sent them in a care home but they are always ready to help! Just talking by experienced in this sector!
hey tia cool video!! I see myself in everything you mentioned cause I have lived both with Italian and American families! btw I think an interesting topic would be Relationships and love in USA vs Italy 😘
+Maria Giulia Anceschi that would be super interesting! Noted!!
Love watching your videos, I'm originally from Venezuela but I been in Miami, Florida for the last 18 years, so pretty much I been raise here... My fiancé is actually Italian and he'd only been here for like 7 years, he's from Napoli, so I really really indentify with what you talk in your videos, bc definitely everything you say is right on the spot...... Here in Miami there's actually a big young Italian community that's mostly been here for a couple of years so I'm sorounded by Italian and they're culture.... I have a lot of fun watching your videos.... God Luck girl 😉🇮🇹
The MAMA rules. Dating an Italian man?? Make sure Mama likes you. Or... It's not going to work. I LOVE that in Italy people actually sit down together and have a Meal. That's why I'm still here. In NY we eat standing, walking, running. Always. Rushing. ☺️🇺🇲🇨🇮
Il fatto di non mangiare tutti assieme penso che possa essere una delle cause dei problemi di peso, hai molto meno controllo e pianificazione, rischi di andare avanti a panini o cibi ordinati al fast food.
I love the videos on life in Italy. You inspire me to start a series :-) My husband is Italian, and we live in Torino (hey! we're neighbors). I completely feel everything you said in this video. My husband is suchhh a mama's boy, although they don't have the traditional family anymore (his parents divorced). I love how you added about mom cooking dinner after she comes home from work, even though "others are completely capable".. After work, his mom comes home and cooks dinner every night for his brother smh I don't understand!
Well, if you have dinner at 6 p.m. it's normal that everybody is busy. Here in Italy we usually eat later, like 8-9 p.m., when everybody usually is at home.
That's so weird to me that you think it is formal for the family to eat dinner together. I am an American and My mom works, but she comes home every night & we eat dinner together:)
Girl this is spot on. I lived in italy for four years and have been such on he fence if my italian hudband and i should return to italy to raise our children. Such an honest pure explanation. Thank you.
'alle sei per cena' che sarebbe tipo 'alle otto e mezza per cena'
I think this is the first youtube video I've commented on but I felt like it was so accurate that it deserves a comment. I'm also American but I've been living in Pavia, just south of Milan for more than 2 years now and before moving here I lived with an Italian family for a few months in the Marche. From my experiences in Italy, I agree with you 100% that the society is more patriarchal than the U.S. yet paradoxically the mother may be the most important figure in the family. I also think the role of the grandmother is notable, as they usually help the mothers with cooking, cleaning, babysitting and myriad other tasks. Perhaps there is a reason why bestemmie exist for the mother and sister, but the grandmother is off-limits. Anyway, your videos are great! I actually play lacrosse for Bocconi and a couple of friends on the team said they know you and that you're as cool in person as in the videos. Keep it up!
It'd be interesting an Italy vs USA about TV Shows!
The family eating together can be seen as something "formal" and "traditional"; I would say it is also reserving 1 or 2 moments in the day to stay together. In reality in many cases having a meal together is just dinner, at least monday to friday. Also when you have grown-up kids they use to go out with friends for lunch or dinner, and this is accepted :-)
love this video it was really good ,I'd love to see a video about the differences between American food and Italian food specifically American variations of Italian food
Michaela Orosco in her italo americans vs italians she touched on this topic a little
I'm italian living in Germany and i enjoy watching your Videos so much because it's like traveling back home ❤️❤️ do your thang girl you deserve 1 mio subscribers!!
P.S.: adoro come ti trucchi 😍
Capisco il pranzo, ma davvero non cenate tutti insieme la sera? :O
Non voglio suonare sprezzante, per carità, ma mi fa stranissimo. Voglio dire, a volte io ho palestra o i miei genitori vanno ad alcuni corsi (di ballo :'D) la sera e finiamo ad aspettarci anche per una o due ore e cenare magari alle dieci di sera, ma mi farebbe strano cenare un po' per volta.
È il momento della giornata dove ti incontri e racconti quello che è successo durante il giorno - ! Credevo fosse "la norma", per così dire.
p.s. comunque, devo dire che adoro i tuoi video - li rivedo spesso! 👍🎉
Ognuno sta bene con quello che ha. L'imporante è non dare nulla per scontato ovvero non pensare che ciò che accade a casa nostra lo ritroviamo di default nelle altre case perchè ognuno ha una storia a sè!
So funny to hear you speak of two months of maternity leave as a "wow" thing. I guess for somebody coming from the US two months is "wow", but looking at it from a European perspective, that is no "wow" at all. I am Italian and live in Germany, and I have been living here for 4 years now, probably going to stay here for many more (for ever? Who knows, but yes, it could likely be forever). Paid maternity leave is 12 months here, but the mother is nowhere near the divinity and controlling entity it is in Italy. Speaking of "controlling" entity: I think there is one thing about Italian culture that almost nobody speaks about. Everyone knows the "mammone" stereotype, but nobody ever comments on the fact that Italian parents are crazily attached to their children, in a way that sometimes they would be happy seeing their children never growing up, and, indeed, they sometimes end up doing little things to actually prevent them from growing up. Many 30-year-old people live with their parents because they "cannot afford" living on their own. But, honestly speaking, there are many who can afford it, and when they finally tell their parents "bye mom and dad, you know what, I can afford living like an adul!"......the answer many time is:""why do you want to spend your salary paying a rent when you can stay with us for free?", completely ignoring the natural need of a 30-year-old to just live like the adult she/he is.Of course, these daughters and sons ultimately leave home, but not without quite a bit of discussions to "explain" their parents this "weird" thing that adults need to live like adults even when they are not married yet.
"Sono stata in Italia e ho visto la luce... Ho visto la luce.." ah ah!! Tia fai morir dal ridere! :)
actually, here in italy the 'maternità obbligatoria' ('mandatory maternity period') is 5 months, so the mother gets paid 100% of her salary for 5 months to stay at home with the new-born baby. After that, we have what is called 'maternità' which is a period that a new mum can take off work, up to 1 year, to stay at home still getting paid 30% of her normal income :)
Hello Tia: have you ever made a video about the differences between Italian and American food? It could be a very interesting topic to talk about :)
I've been watching many of your videos now and I have to admit your perception of Italy is not that far-fetched. I really like the fact that you can compare experiences and statistics and get a general view of the situation here. BTW I think I've just started relying on your opinion a lot more than I probably should lol but that's ok cause it gives me a much broader sense of myself and the country I live in. So, thank you for that. :)
I am loving your videos :) can’t wait to see more
Compulsory paid (at least 80%, but often 100%) maternity leave is five months, not two; I believe it's a bit over the European average, but not that much.
Tia, you are such a good girl for saying that you will look after your parents when they get old. I wish more young people would do that. blessings to you.
You got basically everything right, ahahahah! I must say, though: we have a few SWEET "mamma" bestemmie here, that at least in some regions are used in a daily basis (*cough cough* Veneto *cough cough*)
I personally have come to hate when the mamma problem and the elderly problem intertwine, mostly because of my personal experience. Sometimes it can be incredibly suffocating, because it comes to the point where the mother in law becomes the main and only topic of every discussion and argument /forever/. And considering the mother in law can already be really intrusive in a marriage, having to focus on her all day even when she can't physically do it anymore can be really frustrating. In my family, my grandmother is being taken care of by a few people already, and that doesn't stop my father from dedicating most of his life to staying with her anyway instead of with his wife and daughter. :/
+Marie V. Oh really! That's crazy! I'm sorry about that:/ Thankfully I love Enricos mom so hopefully there will never be any problems...
Thank you Tia for addressing not only stereotypes but also complexity, diversity and contradictions, and to point out how patriarchal Italian society is if compared to other so-called western countries.
Thank you also for talking about present day young Italian emigrants: I wish our politicians were as aware as you are that emigrants are now statistically more numerous that immigrants from abroad, but unfortunately the government prefers to keep exploiting xenophobic propaganda to hide that they are not taking care of occupational problems.
Actually Italy is going through big social changes.
Population is growing statistically older and older, since one in 4 Italians is over 65, and more people is going to end their days in a residential care for elderly people, but that's something we do mostly when the elder needs so intense medical care that it would be impossible to do the same at home.
Also,regarding eating together, it's not very common to do it at lunch, but we just can't conceive having dinner separately! It is the most precious moment of the day!
Also, many people who lives more or less far from their parents still visit them weekly for Sunday lunch, even if many people find it heavy and annoying, they feel compelled to do it, and if you are in a couple, you usually have to balance between both families.
I never said a bestemmia in my life but I can't believe other languages don't have them! Come on there must be!
I enjoy your USA vs Italy videos! I would like to see more of your day to day life. ☺️
When I start working, one of my long term goals is to retire my mom in the community of her choice. I don't think she'd want to live with me lol, but she always tells me there will be room for me at her house if I needed somewhere to stay.
You should have named it :Italian/Indian families v/s American families
i'm coming here right after watching Godfather part 1,I find a lot of similarities b/w an Indian family and an Italian family.Worshipping Mothers is so true here and also is the Old people,they simply live with the family and sending them to Old age homes,is frowned upon here :)
Hey Tia, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you & your videos! Your content is so interesting and factful, and your way of telling it always puts a smile on my face. love from germany! ☺️
+Jasmin Kit thanks so much Jasmin!!
insultare le madri in italia e un ottimo modo per iniziare una rissa
I want you to say that, I'm Sicilian and you know there are some differences between the north and the south of Italy, and that's complitely true! We celebrate togheter, we eat together and normaly is my mother that washes out the dishes and stuff but, helping our mothers is not so usual here; personaly I do that, I help her even with cleaning the house but I don't know Sicily is quite complicated I still hear things like ''Is a woman job'', I want to move!
You keep taking all the good topics before I can think of them 😂 lol amazing video!! 💙
Ciao Tia,
obiettivamente l'Italia è abbastanza arretrata rispetto all'America ma anche agli altri paesi europei. Nonostante ciò, da adolescente italiano, pur criticando costantemente il mio paese, vedendo questo video ho capito che sono davvero fiero di essere cresciuto in Italia con questi valori. Come potrei abbandonare le persone che mi hanno cresciuto in un ospizio!? Anche se tutti gli italiani sono stereotipati come "mammoni" nel resto del mondo, credo sia solo sconfinato amore verso nostra madre, che resterà sempre e comunque la donna che ci ha donato la vita, quindi la persona più importante.
Complimenti, hai realizzato un video che fa riflettere davvero. ❤️
Giuseppe Ferraro concordo 😊
Giuseppe Ferraro prego? È arretrata? Tesoro negli USA hanno la pena di morte, UCCIDONO persone legalmente, anche con basso quoziente intellettivo (vedi Aileen Wornos, è previsto l'ergastolo per i minorenni, c'è una sparatoria ogni 3 x 2 a scuola, bullismo dilagante (vedi la strage Columbine), i giudici vengono eletti e non sono reclutati tramite concorso, la sanità non è accessibile a tutti, devo continuare? Capisco farsi traviare dal "sogno americano", ma riflettere, informarsi e aprire gli occhi sarebbe meglio a mio avviso
Certo, ogni paese ha i suoi difetti, ma si stava parlando di tradizioni e non di questioni politiche
Giuseppe Ferraro direi che un difetticcio come uccidere legalmente non è paragonabile a delle tradizioni
Concordo in pieno, ma non era questo il contesto adatto per farne una questione politica. E' un video di intrattenimento non di informazione, quindi, a mio parere, era inutile tirare in ballo questo problema nel mio commento che era rivolto totalmente ad altro.
tiaa, your lipstick is so pretty! i couldnt stop looking at it! XD
Tia can you explain me why all american movies (except adventure, police and war movies) all deal with "the family" in general as main subject of any plot, how good are the moms, how they sacrifice for their childs, and always play of families getting again unite for Christmas, or families gathering for weddings and funerals? It seems that emancipated and indipendent americans cry like toddlers as they are not enough mama girls and mama boys as they desired to be, abd that they want people of families being more tied with their parents and in the end it seems that they are secretely envy of peoples like us italians that have normal relationships with our whole families...
I come from an all American family (but I plan on moving to Italy when I turn 18) but my parents always taught me that we do not put our elders in a home. We take care of them because they took care of us.
Loved this video. You are spot on. I was born in America my parents, grand parents and husband born in Italy. I still have a home in Italy. My family was run the Italian way in which you described until my son married an pure American. No clue to our traditions it's very hard for me and very sad.
These are my favorite videos on UA-cam!
Ciao Tia, sulla questione "anziani e case di riposo" posso raccontarti la mia esperienza. Non sono per niente vecchia, anzi non supero i diciotto, ma ho l'esperienza dei miei nonni a parlare al posto della mia inesistente.
La mia nonna materna ha sui settanta anni, ma sta alla grande ed è pienamente capace di vivere da sola.
Quella paterna, invece, purtroppo per un problema medico di diversi anni fa' che l'ha quasi uccisa (credo, ero molto piccola ma ricordo qualcosa di simile) è sulla sedia a rotelle. Il tuo discorso mi ha fatto ricordare le discussioni che c'erano state al tempo su come prendersi cura di lei.
Ricordo che la prima idea era di affiancarle una badante, ma poi si era deciso di metterla in una casa di riposo perché le sue condizioni erano troppo gravi.
Nonostante ciò, prima che scoppiasse il Covid mio padre la andava a trovare una volta a settimana e abbiamo sempre fatto dei pranzi per Natale e per Pasqua con lei.
Con la nonna materna continuo a vedermi abbastanza spesso, ma con quella paterna purtroppo non si può.
È da un anno che non la vedo dal vivo, ma questo weekend potrò andare a farle visita.
Grazie mille Tia, con questo video mi hai ricordato i miei nonni!💛
Nice you think Italian parental leave is a lot. Try look at France or Sweden...
Ciao Tia, posso assicurarti che per esperienza personale, a mia madre piace cucinare. A volte la sera dopo mangiato mi chiede cosa voglio per il giorno dopo, e io molto spesso dico che mi arrangio, visto che lei lavora dalle 9.30 fino alle 6 di sera. Ma anche se lo dico, mi fa da mangiare comunque. Quindi da un parere personale è una tradizione che hanno tutte le mamme e che ha volte può anche piacere :D
P.s. Alle 6 comunque beviamo il tè o prendiamo un break, come lo chiamate voi; si mangia di solito verso le 8/8.30
È davvero interessante il tuo punto di vista perchè per me è scontato cenare con la mia famiglia ogni sera per esempio, ma capisco che non sia lo stesso in ogni cultura.
Per quanto riguarda le donne non sono d'accorco con tutto quello che hai detto.
Comunque mi è piaciuto molto il video :)
about taking care of old people is true. My mum tried so hard to keep grandpa with us, but after a year and half, (because he was mentally ill) we had to put in in a home where they could take care of him and my mum was sad, very sad. Because she felt like she had failed him.
About the way we treat our elders in Italy, I think the "they're going to live with us when they're old" thing has mostly disappeared (at least in the north, I can't speak for the south). What most people do nowadays is they hire a caretaker (a "badante") to go and live with their parent(s), or at least to stay with them during the day. This way the parents don't have to leave their house and things are easier for people who work all day and wouldn't be able to take care of them 24/7 otherwise. It's an imperfect solution but it's better than putting them in a nursing home.
SUGGESTION!
American and italian school! PLEEEEASE?? :333
+Elena Zanna ho già fatto? 😅
Tia Taylor sei mai stata a pisa? a vedere la torre di pisa!! se vuoi ti faccio fare un tour di pisa hahaha
Tia Taylor Seria? non l'avevo visto scusaa ^^'
Bè.. se cenassimo alle 6, anche per noi sarebbe improbabile avere tutta la famiglia a tavola! ;)
+Tia Taylor "I've been in Italy and I saw the light!" TOP! ahahaha
CLOSE TO HOME
1) being near does not mean to be in a close relation. for example, i am a daughter, have a younger sister, a mother and a father, but we do not talk that much. i could say we hardly speak except for daily tasks like knowing when one leaves and comes back, how school went and like that. questions needing single-phrase answeres. it has always been like this in my family and my friends' families. to me and my friends the family comes after studies/work, friends and hobbies.
2) my family has never moved from town except for holiday, but we are an exception. many friends of mine have moved from montains to sea or vice versa or from south to nord.
3) we go to uniersty (college in the usa) at the age of 18/19 and we can choose to go away from home. i did not chose this way only because the university i like is near my town, but most of my classmates are from center or south (Puglia, Lazio, Campania, Sicily). anyway i live in a flat from monday to friday even if i am near home, so cercany is not a matter.
Ciao Tia!
Quando sono stata negli USA e in Inghilterra questa differenza nel momento dei pasti ha colpito molto anche me, non capivo come potesse non esserci quel momento in cui ci si siede tutti insieme a tavola per mangiare, perché per noi è fondamentale, e quando capitava di non riuscire a tornare tutti a casa per pranzo (i miei lavorano e spesso rimangono in ufficio anche nel pomeriggio, con una breve pausa pranzo) io e mio fratello li raggiungevamo vicino all'ufficio, pur di mangiare insieme.
Però devo dire che, almeno per quanto mi riguarda, non è vero che sia sempre la madre a cucinare: spesso cucino io (o mio padre) perché lei torna tardi dal lavoro, ma in realtà devo dire che noi siamo una famiglia abbastanza moderna, soprattutto per gli standard abitudinari siciliani. XD
Inoltre, sempre nella mia esperienza personale, nella mia famiglia gli anziani sono molto importanti MA non vengono a vivere con noi, quasi mai. Non li metteremmo MAI in una casa di riposo, ma piuttosto assumiamo una persona che si prenda cura di loro nella loro casa. Questo perché la mia famiglia vive (io ora vivo a Milano) in una città relativamente piccola, e le distanze sono molto piccole, quindi raggiungiamo i nostri parenti in pochi minuti.
Questo infatti a volte mi fa riflettere, perché io sicuramente non tornerò a vivere nella stessa città dove vivono i miei, e la cosa mi preoccupa perché voglio comunque trovare un modo per prendermene cura quando sarà il momento.
Usa vs Italy: wellness and health
+Davide Gliorio awesome!
+Davide Gliorio added to the list!
Tia Taylor Great!! 😁
+Tia Taylor USA vs Italy: who had the greater empire?
Fai un 🇮🇹 vs 🇺🇸 sull'infanzia!!!!
Sarebbe carino
Hi Tia, I would like to know in which areas you think there is "maschilismo" here in Italy, and if there is more maschilismo in Italy than in America. And by areas i don' t mean geographically, I mean in which scopes, fields etc...
I completly agree on the patriotichal thing
Italy could seem very patriarchal, but mothers are so highly valued. But the patriarchal aspect is a very old fashioned set up, shown in movies like the Godfather Trilogy.
Io che vivo in America ho notato che le famiglie qui non sono unite come le nostre in Italia. E' vero che ognuno lavora tutto il giorno ma non si sforzano di mangiare assieme, magari la sera. Addirittura i ragazzini spesso mangiano sul divano guardando la tv (solitamente non hanno tv in cucina) e anche se potrebbero mangiare almeno con la madre, seduti allo stesso tavolo, ognuno mangia quando capita. Sono stato a un barbecue al mare per festeggiare la laurea di mia cugina italo-americana...nessuno che le avesse detto congratulazioni, i parenti, cugini e zii vari arrivavano a orari diversi, salutavano ma poi chi prima arrivava prima mangiava, senza neanche ricordarsi che si era lì per la laurea. Si poteva anche aspettare che fossero arrivati tutti e iniziare tutti assieme attorno alla tavola ma qui non badano a queste formalità, forse è l'individualismo, se hanno fame mangiano, non aspettano ahah. L'unica volta che sembrano un famiglia all'Italiana, più unita, è a Thanksgiving.
Well, ok, i can realize why this video is concentrating on the "mammone's issues" and on the mothers' role in the italian society, but no-one seems to care about the weird relationship between italian women and their fathers, a problem that has a huge impact.
The italian daughters really worship their fathers and, in the adulthood, go looking for a man who can protect her and make her feel like the fairy tales' princess all the time (just like their father did all the time).
That makes them remain very childish and capricious.
Remeber the "BUONGIORNO PRINCIPESSA!" from the Roberto Benigni's movie "La Vita E' Bella"?
Yes, the "Principessa's issue": literally the italian (or the worldwide?) women's ambition and obsession.
Personally, I think this happens everywhere and not just in Italy, but in Italy this treatment is more radical and affects a huge impact in the social life, even because very often the italian men are "mammoni" and not just ordinary guys.
Therefore, italian men and women are placed in two antithetical "psychic places" (men want to be eternally looked after; women want to be eternally protected and endlessly courted), but everyone seems to spotlight the italian men's behaviour.
I just love the way you're able to look and compare different cultures, I admire you 😊😊 you seem a really interesting (and wise for a young adult) person, it must be great discuss with you :) keep on doing these great contents 💪💪
loving yours italian's and english's videos😛
I love your channel!
Yes , in Italy there is a patriarchal family ...It's strange for us knowing that in Usa there aren't 'bestemmie'...This explains a lot about what is the (dangerous often) role of religion in our society and how it is determining in the structure of the italian family.
I would like to listen your opinion between Usa & Italy about the instruction and system school in general.
Sorry for my english, If I made mistakes...Bye! :D