How to deal with In laws? | Living with inlaws | Indian Joint Family
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- Опубліковано 7 лют 2025
- A LOT of you have asked me how to deal with inlaws? How to live along with mother in laws and father in laws , how to ignore them, how to be happy , how to MAKE IT WORK!?
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Roli
RGV Love
Who am I?
Hi!
I am Roli or RGV :)
I am an Indian Mommy and Lifestyle UA-camr based in Delhi, the capital of India!
I became a mommy to a handsome young dude on 28th december 2015! This channel is my, The Crazy Indian Mother 's, journey into motherhood ! I am no expert in being a mom , this channel is just based on my day to day experience in being a New Indian Mommy to a cute little baby boy ! :) Hope you have fun with me on my journey!
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I loved this video. I feel just like we have mom and dad, similarly guys have. And if you want your parents to be respected then why wouldn't guy want his parents to be respected. So I think dealing with in laws makes no sense, they are elderly people who make house heaven. When some one lives together in one house small issues here and there are obvious. It happens with your hostel friends, your husband, your own parents then what's big deal with in laws. Such a long comment but that is what I feel n think so shared !
theitgirlbymj so true! so true!
theitgirlbymj do you have in laws??
Garima 1 yes !
theitgirlbymj why should the girl live with the guy’s parents. The boy and girl should be living independently with no interference from both the sides. If there is equality between the males and females, then it is unfair to have the new bride live with the guy’s parents.
There is a difference with you living with your parents and your inlaws dear. "Huge difference".
Roommate doesn't tell you what to wear, what not to wear, what to eat or not. There is a huge difference between roommate and in laws .
Yes correct , you are saying you need to change something , but they will tell you change everything and if you have to stay in their house , you have to do accordingly what they say , they will tell you what to wear , with whom you should talk to , how you should behave , you have to get up n greet the guests , even if you are sick, you have to tell them everything before you do anything .
In Arab culture the inlaws force their son to buy a house for his wife because they say they want the community to see him as a man. We are lucky in this matter, our inlaws are selfless so there is no "dealing" at all 😉
ooh thats nice!
Wish that was true.
Yeah
Indian parents don't want their son to spend on his wife....just want want him to spend on them....
I think that Americans want to know this question for example here we like to do our kitchen a certain way and run the house a certain way and here a lot of times the in-laws or even our own parents try to tell us to do it a different way and we just don’t want to. Also if there are disagreements with your spouse, the parent always sides with their child which can cause resentment and I guess we don’t like others nosing in our business. I find this subject very interesting because Americans are the only ones who can’t live with their extended family. It’s really sad so that’s why we say “deal” lol. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Most of the videos that i have watched regarding inlaws always tries in a subtle way to state that the daughter in law is too demanding and non adjusting. the problem with us Indians is that we take it for granted that because we are elders we need to be respected irrespective of how stupidly we behave. In the current times most of the girls are working when they get married and honestly has no time to get indulge in sas bahu dramas at home. But if the Mother in law keeps on judging and demeaning the bahu just because she is so insecure the bahu will not keep quiet. so we need to be fair to both the parties and stop supporting the idea that only daughter in laws are always at fault.
+Archana Prasad never supported the idea that the daughter-in-law is always only at fault and never will. I am in no ways trying to advocate that the daughter-in-law should be always adjusting. I think I did say in the video that you have to know where to draw the line. If the daughter-in-law doesn't want to adjust beyond a point she should say it loud and clear.
And I completely agree that both parties should adjust! When 2 different people live together there has to be some kind of adjustment, But of course I agree with you that the adjustment should not be only from the dil side.
Archana Prasad well said
I agree Archana! ✌ this is the exact case with all !
Archana Prasad I LOVE your comment 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💖
It is very difficult to deal with inlaws...It sometimes drain you completely. ..Some people are blessed with normal inlaws but some people have to face difficult inlaws which become more difficult when your husband tend to become mute spectator or puppet in the hands of his parents
Same my situation..pls tell me how u deal with it
Same my situation
Seriously..I m also facing the same situation since when I got married they r creating troubles and my husband is totally in their control..my lyf is hell as they are olways on my head for life time..
Same
@@ruchijha7089 same problem
The way you opposed that deal word for inlaws shows all your respect towards them.Everything is very well explained.Love you dear...Stay blessed.
Thanks :)
I an working woman...my inlaws expect me to do all household chores all by myself. ..noone help me...they don't want me to continue my working status. ..I just ignore all this...since all this effects my health
inder kaur yea never stand up for abuse
this indian society has so many double standards. expectations of in - law's!!! GOD. Bandi job bhi karle, ghar ka kaam to chutkiyo me hona chahiye, hamesha hasti rage, kabhi beemar na ho, thakaan kis baat ki, young ho. naukri to karni hi hai. ghar sambhalna to aana hi chahiye.
@@abhimanyu604 very well said
do they ask for ur salary
OMG your awkwardness in discussing the video is evident of how uncomfortable this topic is. That said, I feel communication is key. And constant criticism is a joy-killer. Its ok for a year or three,,but over time it will build resentment unless it is resolved. The fact remains that however good you are, however nicely you treat them, you still fight with them like you did with your parents, because they are NOT your parents. They will definitely feel bad when DIL will tell them anything which is against their thought process. If they are reasonable people and open to your point of view (rare) that is a blessing. If not, DIL should know what is the line at which she is not ok. Then its only a matter of how supportive the husband is. Warna aurat ki zindagi dozag hai.
Well said. People fail to realize that respect is a two way street. The concept of "respecting your elders" is starting to weaken as many are ridiculously abusing it. Like always, if you want to respect from others, you respect them as well. It is not something that should be freely given.
What makes me mad is my in laws are obsessive about their own daughter being treated like a princess by her in laws.. but don’t apportion the same ideals to ME.. their daughter in law. Double standards! And nowadays they want us to work AND be domestic goddesses! Ridiculous!
Great video Roli. I have also been also requested to do this video and talked about it on my channel. I think misunderstandings can have even with our own aging parents but we don't take it as personally because they are our own parents. When it's our in laws we tend to turn every little innocent comment into a mountain. I love what you said that you shouldn't have to "deal" with in laws. They are family.
so true! so true!
My father in law Is the loudest person I have seen in my life, he chooses to shout at people whom he finds weak n helpless, like women..I choose not to talk to him much...
fighting with in-laws will b really tough lolz 😂..I usually ignore and discuss with hubby ..and hubby balances it really well..
yup forgive forget and move on very true i follow the same rule 😊
I agree ! Ingnorance is bliss.
I do the same thing😜
What if the husband is the puppet of his parents.
I so so relate with you
treat them as your parents so your children will see that and they will treat you the same before any big decision try to put yourself in their place and put your further in your place you'll take the best decision ever
Neelam Esasariya well said.
Hi Roli..i live with my mom in law and cant tell you how lucky I'm as she is a huge support for me. I do understand that all in laws are not the same. But just like we adjust with mother, father, siblings...we also need to adjust with in laws. It is no rocket science. Great topic🖒
so true!!
Wow I was one of those who requested this too kind of na!!yayy was so happy to see this pop up in my subscription feed!!N omg u explained the just-got-married-bahu dynamic so well!!
hehe :* for your future :* ;P
well said!they also need time to trust us & maybe that's why also they could be extra protective in the beginning?
yup!!
Bas baat understanding ki hai, apne parents k sath bhi to bina shikayat k rehty hain....aapne bahut sahi bola 👍👍
Mujhy bhi itni badi family me kabhi dikkat nahi hui😊
Ek baat aur... aapka suit bahut accha lag raha hai 😍😍
Thank you Aunty, yup bad family men infant Jada easy Hota hai rahana coz help mil jati hai sab ki.
Its 1 DIL adjusting with 3-7 people is hard 3-7 people adjust with just one person each one has to adjust with only one person
But for a Daughter in law she has to adjust with 3-7 people 🤷🏻♀️ not fair
I have watched many youtubers talking on this issue or topic. But believe me I just loved your concept or the way of thinking.❤️😘😘 some of the points were related to me and I was thinking that why I didn't think like this before. Touchwood I have good in laws!! Thanks for letting me know. Thanks again! Lots of love😍
taku453 Happy to have been of help, Thanks for watching!
very nice video..you said it right we need to ignore somethings...and he will always have a soft corner for his parents as we have for ours..👍
yup!
I live with my in-laws and honestly I love it. Not saying that things are rosy all the time but at the end of the day I feel like I have two sets of parents to love and cherish.
Is there any law that make in laws to help daughter in law in work???
Want to change my mother in law's mindset about bahus work
Mam kya apke inlaws pahele se ache hay? Aapne problem face ki hay? Im sending this video to my sister hope use kaam aaye
u look so pretty in this salwar suit...n these suggestions are just so prefect...thanks..u are such a sweet person n I love you..😘..missed aryaveer😭😞..u are one of my favourite youtubers😍😘
Thank you so much! that means a lot!
I live with my Mother in law, father in law, 2 brother in law n 1 sis in law....my husband is the eldest n m the only married n have 1 year old daughter...it's been 3 years now v all r still together...n yeah it's really frustrating sometimes n sometimes I feel I m fortunate...I adjust n dey too adjust...but I feel n I kno I adjust Alot...anyways All praise n thanks to God for giving such a good life... thanks RGV for this vdo..m ur fan after watching dis vdo
I loved it...thanks for the new thought process 😊
Very useful and cud completely relate every thing...thankx roli baba....roli baba ki jai ho!!!!!
+Najam Zoheb hahaha :*
*Set up a timeline, don't take the decision of separating from the in laws right on the 2nd day of marriage
*Don't try to change things overnight, push the boundaries slowly
*Make a list of things that you are okay to compromise on, and things that you cannot compromise.. and speak up accordingly in the most polite way possible
*Ignore taunts, stay busy so that you don't have time to ger bothered by such things ( I'd say, treat them like roommates/acquaintances and have no expectations)
*If any comment/action is not ok to ignore, speak up then and there
*Don't complain each and every petty thing to your husband and wait for him to take actions. It will make you look more like an outsider and it will make the relationship with your husband bad.
*Fight with your in laws like you would fight with your parents, communication is the key.
*Start everyday as a new day. Forget, forgive and move on( unless and until it's a huge issue like mental torture,domestic violence,etc)
*You got to have a healthy environment at home for the sake of your child.
I m staying in Dubai, while I am going to India , inlaws don't like to come. Every time when I go to India they r saying something . Vch words I am saying normally that they are repeating. And sister in law also saying lab lab..,.
hey roli nice video. can you tell me which camera, lights, microphone and editing software you use for making videos. I am practicing making my video only with my Samsung s6 edge.
a phone is the best place to start.
currently I use a Canon G7x Mark 2, normal lighting and iMovies for editing
thanks dear
I really wish i can do the last thing u said forget and forgive , start fresh each day. I just cant forget some of the mean comments they have made. Its killing me day by day. Every time i see their face i tend to remember bad incidents that happened .
Very beautiful video!! Thanks for making it. Most of the advice and tips in this video are useful. Thanks a lot once again.
+Harini Gopalan Happy to help!
OMG We are so much similar your about the Job and God worship things. And currently I am also facing this in-laws issues and husband is always stand for his parents but he doesn’t stand for me against his parents. What to do ??
Not all people are same not all in-laws are same, you deal with everyone with same advice.
We know that you have got a good inlow by seeing your this video ,there are people in india where daughter inlow is suffering from there inlow where daughter inlow cannot do anything because there husband tell that dont do anything to my parents whatever they give hard time to you being as a daughter inlow you should be quite, when husband can't do anything to there parents when my husband mother in cheating me by taking my gold jewelry by robery and we dont have any support from parents home where we should go that is why people ask help in your site it's not we dont know how to deal with in lows ,I think for this you should have asked experienced daughter inlow who is really suffering from inlows and done this video to get more likes on your video ,people are asking help they are not asking you what kind of inlows you have got please dont tell about it ,
great video and you looked so pretty in those colours! suits you ❤
+sakshi singh Thanks!
You are a very lovely and sorted kind of person. I just loved the way you talk.
honestly...ur advice is so good! my experience has told me exactly these things works.. 😊
In Mexico is very common to live with your in-laws 👍🤗 my mom use to live with my grandma and she loved it
but I m so happy I don't have to live with my in-laws 👍👍👍👍😁😁😁😁
Not all in-laws are the same 🙈
wow really!!?? I thought its a very south asian thing, great to know about a different culture too!
it's also common in the Caribbean
Its mostly common in third world backward cultures. In eastern culture children are dependent on their parents until their late 20s or 30s . They dnt move out of their parents house no matter what.
What about “el Casado, casa quiere”...
Even after ages yur in laws only want yu to b in there control... N they thing that v are there property they can behalf anyway...
Rightly said sis...
Hey RGV, such an amazing vlog. Got answers for few of issues I was facing. Thanks alot for sharing these things because nobody tells you about these things. My parents have their own point of view and maybe due to generation gap they aren't able to understand such things. Very well explained 👍
u shuld definitely put all of ths in ur blog
it's just such gud guide nd wuld help many
will do :) thanks!
I still watch your really old videos all the time because I miss your channel so much since you have stopped loading in English
RGV love you girl....you have explained so nicely especiall at 6:00 onwards
Thank you :)
On our first Christmas together, the inlaws handed out gifts to everyone but me from his ex girlfriend
you are a very sorted girl ... really like your vids :)
+Fairy Thanks you :*
Hey, your thought points are really good, but try to put this in the list of points instead of paragraph sort. It would sound really good .
dee meri marriage ko 4 yr ho gaye ny..bt they r still same as they were before..I hv tried my best to sought out each n everything bt they don't wanna to chng..1st problem they hv problm wenevr i wore jeans although we r leaving separately they hv problm..they didn't go even once a tym to my mum place to meet them.. they olwayz tont me even I wore suit they hv problem itny heavy suit ka kya fayda zean paao tab problm..mere baby boy hua Dec kush v nhi btaaya kya kr rhy ny sab relatives ko distribute sweets krne k baad ek din yaad aaya k btaana chahiye sweets ly kr Aaye k je dabbe distribute kiye..buht compromise kiya bt koi fayda nhi.. I don't knw wht shud I do
my mum came in my place to live sum tym after my delivery onko v sunaa diya k kuri k saath mummy ka v shilla hai 40 dayz ka..mere ko 40 dayz mother inlaw ny spicy swzi khwaai Maine mna kiya k stiches mai pain hoi hai koi frk nhi pdhaa
you live separately right?! Then who cares, if they can't respect you then you ignore and forget them. You be as respectful as possible and rest leave it, you are an independent grown woman! You DONT need their approval! chill !
RGV Love nhi roli thoda aur depth me samjhao Prabhjot Ko...tuta hua Dil h uska pls
Loved your HoliLog series!!! Also you're so cute :') And arayveer is
Thanks, its Aryaveer :)
Is your marriage love or arrange
Arrange
@@RGVLove Mam can u please suggest what in case of Love Marriage Staying in Inlaws house.And if possible if u know if there is some success stories of Love Marriage Staying in Inlaws 🏠
What you want to say.... Sorry but i dint understood.... Be more clear.... Disappointed
Di i just loved this vedio it was really awesome.. and di i have a request from u to make a vedio on how to lead/win over your mother in law ..... plz plz plz this is a humble request plzzz.....
My in laws is coming next week I’m really afraid how will be our relation after a long time hope everything should go well😬☺️
and how was it. would you like to share
Please learn to talk
So much of fillers completely distracts while watching....
big thumbs up fr this video...well done roli😊
Thanks!
Really a worthfull video in u tube i found all my words of life u told tnq
I dont know why people are asking her about such problems , her problems may be quite different from others. And also she is too confused in telling.
Seriously...Totally agree....I could just watched it till 1:55 mins....I just knew this video is not for me when she said 'Deal' is a wrong word...dont preach anything when you just don hv d knowledge or if u hvnt even experienced it in your life ... Disappointed🙄
Just discovered your channel and loveeeeeee your videos, especially this one, I learned so much from it!!
Welcome to the family!!
Are u having them at your home
Some women can't get along even with their husbands.
very helpful
+Naghma Syed :*
I m newly married.... The problems i have come across are almost similar.... I will try to make some changes and things with i m not okay with....but i would really love to know how do i deal with my husband, when he is mute on issues and doesn't take a stand for me.... When the end of every fight with my husband regarding the in laws issue is my mistake or makes me wrong as a person! Thank u sooo much this video... Really needed advice and some1 who could really understand! Thank you!!!!! 😘
namratha Jain sAme with me
heyaa... i love watching your videos...but only thing which i dont like is your accent ,... sometimes i just dont understand what u are saying.... please work on it n clear your accent
+Disha Verma hey, thanks, I really don't think I can change my accent as it's not something that can be changed so easily, if I try to it will just look fake, this is just how naturally I speak. But I will try and speak slow so it's easier to understand. (Although speaking slow is such a big challenge for me!)
RGV Love i appreciate yea,,
Disha Verma maybe you should get accustomed to understanding different accents. Surely you must have an accent too that people find hard to understand.
Starlite 77 i m not denying from a fact that people might not understand my accent....but being a youtuber its mandatory to have a clear accent...so that u can easily convey your message to all
Disha Verma well thats a matter of opinion. I think she is very clear in how she speaks :)
I love seeing your videos but I dont no why I cant get notifications about your post
thanks, maybe try unsubscribing and then re subscribing and clicking the bell button ..?!
RGV Love thanks dear
Thank you Roli for this 😊👌🏻
:*
I have waited for you so longggggg
liked before watching
+Garima 1 :* thanks
Aap hindi me video kyu nahi banati. Har ek ko English samajhane me asan nahi
why this over acting 🎭
missing Aryaveer... lotsoffffffff loves to you n to aryaveer...superb vlog 👍👍👍👍👍👌👌👌👌👌👌💝💝💝💝💞💞💞💞💞💕💕💕💕💕💕😍😍😍😍😙😙😙😙😙😙
aww thanks!
even I had dat walker Wala issue ...but at last it was me who compromised 😔
Thanks for sharing dear... Yes it really works mummy g mujhe ye baat achi nai lagi...😀
+Lovely You :)
Yay .. nice video
Aisa jarorri nyi hai ki in lows wrong hoon but bahot bar In lows ache hote hain and bride are trible. . it's about understanding & how mature , senceble both are 😊
the thumbs down must be from overbearing mom in laws lol
+Starlite 77 haha ;)
loved your make up.....loved your video toooo......you r sweet.... like your videos always.... .😘
thanks!!
Wat abt the mental torture which husbands face? No one is bothered to know husbands pain...ayese kyase chalega didi...Unless a husband is happy no wife can be happy
U are too fast and beating around the busha lot. Get to the point soon
Awesome
loved it :*
Thanks
love your salwar suit
Thanks!
I really liked your video. kudos (y)
RGV Love Are you the fan of Director Ram Gopal Varma?
much needed video.....😅
+asha bhandari hehe :*
suit is luking good....
+swastika subhasni Thanks!
You look so pretty ❤
Thanks
looking awsm in suit :)
+karishma sachdeva Thanks!
😊😊
I love dis vedio
love your Kurta aunty 😚❤
veer I miss u. .
aww :*
👍
+Pooja Pathania :)
yay
+rayhab dilli yay!
dee uh luk amazing in suit..lv uh..mmmuaaah
Just think they are ur parants every problem will solve ..........
hlooooooo
😘😘😘😘😘😘
+Archana Singh :*
👍
+Anuradha Wasal :)