how we survived a 12h flight with our toddler (without screens!) / Malaysia Travel vlog 2024 (EP 2)
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- Опубліковано 19 лют 2024
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misread this as "survived a 12 hr FIGHT with my toddler" and i was amazed that a toddler had the emotional persistence and attention span for such a protracted emotional conflict
I only realised it wasnt that bc of this comment ive only just started the video saved me some confusion thanks random person
🤣
oh my god that's amazing
Same here. Although I took it fully in stride. Toddlers be stubborn.
this also implies they were struggling to beat a toddler
it's annoying to hear that people say "why do you go to malaysia they hate gay people!!" to you guys, just because a country's laws are homophobic doesn't mean gay people don't exist there....
Also like.. their whole family lives there. What are they supposed to do?
also the UK has such transphobic laws but it’s “okay” to post abt living there. the double standards…
Tbh for me it depends on threat of violence. If you get caught are you in danger?
@@Squirreltasticqueen theyve done videos on this topic if youre curious
“Remember when the world didn’t revolve around children?” “Yeah and look how many of us are in therapy” brilliant 😂💯
Right? That was my favorite line in the video. 💛
Lol. Ok, so I was in Spain and Portugal last year, and what I think they excel at is just like... Being cool with kids in public? Kid cries? The parents deal and everyone around them are like "kids, they cry!" And move on with their lives.
Do I have children? No. Did I find this video interesting and helpful? You bet! I am so amazed at what wonderful parents you both are. Rupert is so lucky to have you both ❤
You'd think it's very insensitive and disrespectful to question Claudia, who is half Malaysian, why they choose to go to Malaysia. It's not like Claudia stopped having Malaysian heritage the moment she married Jessica.
I hope you have a wonderful time with your family over there and wish you a Happy New Year. (It's still new year holiday before the 15th as we would like to joke.)
Right?! It's where her family lives!
I am a 32 year old childless person and am SO IMPRESSED by every parent that travels with a child because holy logistics! My mom managed multiple 10+ hour flights (with layovers!) from the US to German on her own with me and my older sister, starting when I was six months old, in the early 90's. I will always be endlessly impressed by her--and you both--for that 😄
As an undiagnosed autistic person who as a young child never understood why I was upset and overwhelmed in certain situations, and my parents would just tell me to you know get over it, watching you guys talk about taking Rupert out of overwhelming settings is healing me inside a little
Same experience here. I'm quite overwhelmed with how touching that was and then sad that's not the standard for every child!
Its so ironic im watching this to distract myself because im on the verge of a meltdown
as an autistic person who has always found travelling difficult and have had many traumatic experiences travelling, so many of these tips around creating familiarity and control would help me a lot too!! thank you for this video, it’s wonderful to see rupert being so well accommodated to and respected. ❤
Maybe somebody said it already or you already thought about it but
As an adult who is sensitive to noise, I recommend child noise cancelling headsets. They offer passive noise cancellation (like the ones for construction sites workers). It could help Rupert when he's a little overwhelmed by the noises. They can come child sized with fun colours.
noise canceling headphones was one of the best purchases of my life
It can be a bit challenging for kids though. It’s weird having something big on your head. And it cuts you off from your parents, which is one reason all the noise is bad.
@@hopegold883Yes, and Rupert signs with Jessica so communication isn’t quite as cut off as one might think.
@@hopegold883 some of them have settings that allow the voice of someone sitting next to you to come through while still blocking ambient sound
glad to see someone else brought this up! Anyways they might be liable to being lost, but loop earbuds (not for playing music, just for blocking out some noise) can be really helpful and maybe less weird compared to over the ear ones.
This is such lovely, caring, and emotionally validating parenting
Agree. Jessica said it more succinctly, but that person who remembered fondly “when the world didn’t revolve around children “ hopefully never had any. If you can’t rearrange your life for a totally helpless human being whom You brought into it, please think very seriously before doing so.
Besides, what’s cool is Rupert is growing up with more independence than most kids, and Jessica at least is showing him that she respects her own needs and career too.
So I don't have kids (& don't plan on having them) but I love videos like these! Somehow they always make me wish I'd grown up with parents like you two! That line of "remember when the world didn't revolve around kids? yeah & look how many of us are in therapy!" is *so true* ! So many of us now have so many ingrained issues, & past trauma reactions because of how we grew up! It's so amazing seeing parents nowadays being mindful of those kinds of things & trying to raise their kids to not have those same bad experiences! 💖
Much love to a fellow survivor❤
When one of my aunts was five, she insisted she was changing her name when she was 18 as she had no middle name. The middle name she was going to use? First name Ice Cream Cone Last name.
Haha. I'm thirty and still occasionally consider changing my name to add a middle name.
lol I thought it was gonna be a serious name. I’m dying
😂😂😂
@@cleosworld9096 that’s what made it so great. I’m given to understand that she had just lost a tooth and was quite serious about it.
@@5Seed doooooo eeeeeet!! My daughter hasn’t officially changed it but she uses a totally different name.
I genuinely think if people took young kids, even babies, more serious and just talked to them about everything thats going to happen, that would already be a huge part of having s good time going anywhere. Especially doing age appropriate participation like letting them pick things to pack. Im always for age appropriate explaining and talking about everything and age appropriately letting them participate. Obviously as the adult with the responsibility you have to make decisions but there's always many little things that you can let them be actively involved.
Exactly, even with something like clothes that need to be weather and occasion appropriate, you can just give them a few options to pick from. For example, "You need to pack 5 t-shirts, can you choose some you'd like to take?" or "We're going out for a nice dinner one night, which of these outfits would you like to take to wear?".
This may sound strange, but I find some of these tips very helpful for adults also, as I'm arming my wife for our honeymoon travels with coloring books, plushes and set plans with knowledge of what awaits where, these are good ways to get a not travelling, anxious person to try travelling for the first time. Anyone likes to know what will happen in a new destination, where the hotel is, and having the possibility to choose a piece of home, snacks, plushes, close by when in need.
genuinely- the bringing snacks from home bit is really good tip that I will most definitely be using more for myself.
Yeah I'm the kind of adult that want to eat chips everyday on holiday because everything is already new. Food needs to be predictable sometimes.
Clearly I am a toddler since I also need plenty of time to physically and mentally prepare when going somewhere new or somewhere I haven't been to in awhile.
Same,but I’m just autistic!
First time I have ever felt envious of someone's childhood
Rupert you do not know how lucky you are!!
The thing that helped me most when traveling with my daughter many years ago as a toddler was the blow up boat we got. She could use it in the pool but it also worked as her bed on the floor. So if she woke up she felt the sides and her blankies and knew where she was.
That’s a really good idea
@@jennifers5560 the best part for me was I could put it up and let her get used to it at home and then when we got home we used it for her camping bed! It packed down small but fit up to about six or seven as I recall. It depends on what size you can find. This one was rectangular which also helped.
Waking up knowing where I am is important even as an adult. I am traveling now and just this morning, not sure where I was upon waking. It was scary enough for me to double take until I opened my eyes and saw my tent. Phew!
We got an inflatable bath tub to use with our baby on the cruise we went on and we were so happy we had it. We just put it in the bottom of the shower to use, and then flipped it up to dry during the day.
Both physical and mental preparation are important so it’s good that you both have one of those as your strengths. Makes for great teamwork. ❤
At 23:40 my parents did that shaming stuff at dinner and I’m really glad that you aren’t one of those parents. It’s really damaging to a child to devalue them and their opinions and I appreciate you speaking out against that.
❤
Having raised two boy, I cannot help but applaud you ladies for being the absolute best parents. Travel is amazing for adults, but the care you have for your child speaks so much to your excellent character. This video just gives me so much love for you two. You both are Mommy-ing at Max levels.
I'm 23 and still use the 'from home' concept. e.g. you could bring your own mug for tea when you stay in a hotel/go on holiday. ❤
that's so sweet and wonderful. tearing up a little aa
I don’t know if it was your voices, the beautiful images of Malaysia or the background music, but this was the most calming, soothing video you have done. I feel so relaxed now. Thanks!
I looooove the Malaysia videos!!
The considerations you've made with lil guy is so heartwarming. If i had gotten the same kind of understanding as a kid, i'd like to think i'd be somewhere else in life. Love your vids, hope the trips is/were good ^^
I get you my friend. If only we had kind, loving, and nurturing parents...
I love how much of a priority you make Malaysia in your son's upbringing! I'm biracial as well, and while I grew up with the food of my nonhome country to connect me to the culture (Nigeria, raised in USA), my parents didn't want me to travel there nor they provide any focus on the actual country itself, despite my also having family there. It honestly makes me a little emotional to see how your Malaysian connection has thrived through the generations and if I ever have kids I hope I can patch that link together for them somehow.
My mom is Colombian, and it was a similar situation. We didn't visit, and she didn't really work to get me a connection with it. Some of it was civil war, but a lot of it was her wanting to assimilate.
I'm currently on work travel, starting to feel homesick, and the wibble wobble part of the video was really helpful even as an adult. Hope you guys continue to have a great time in Malaysia!
It’s so cute how Rupert needs that comforting touch of his mummies. Whether it be holding hands or grabbing the dress❤
The best tip I’ve ever heard for traveling with small kids is that you know your kid best and you do what’s going to work best for your family. A perfect example of this is the direct vs layover option - do you get a direct flight & have a shorter travel day or do you get a layover & have a break to move around.
We do layovers whenever possible because our kids are incredibly high energy & do not sit well for long periods of time. I’m hoping this improves when they start reading chapter books, but for now all of our breaks involve running laps. We’ve also mastered finding out of the way places in airports for them to run between flights (even the busiest airports always have some place!).
I don’t have any kids and I don’t travel, and yet it’s always interesting to see you two talking together! Relationship goals!
My now 13 year old was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis at 2. With family in the UK and Singapore we traveled a bunch from our California home.
Bring a stroller/buggy for as long as you can. We officially retired ours when it met it's end in a baggage handling accident on an hour flight. The airline was so sorry and felt like they were going above and beyond to compensate us. Then I remembered it still had a "medical mobility aide" tag from our last flight home from London. We took the money option for compensation and used it to buy a new booster seat.
The tiny collapsing strollers are great for flights but rarely get allowed in the cabin. The few times it was allowed was due to both mine and daughter's disability. So don't count on being able to bring it into the cabin. Honestly it was so much less stressful to just drop it at the plane door and have it there waiting for you once you land.
i don’t have any children but these tips seem helpful for adult me too
Last summer my hubby and I took my 3 year old on her first trip to visit my husbands cousin in Austin TX. We did most of your tips and I have to say it went fantastic. I have a lot of travel anxiety so I also like to know what to expect for the plane, and hotel, and itinerary. She did so great. Glad you guys enjoyed your trip! You’re great parents! ❤
I don't have children, but this was extremely helpful none the less. A friend of mine helps take care of her grandson and last year his aunt, who was expecting her first child at the time, decided to invite him and his mother (her sister) to Disney World. So as they're getting ready for the trip my friend asked them if they had prepared her grandson for what to expect, especially at the airport and on the plane. His mother said she hadn't and asked why she needed to. My friend told her that if he wasn't prepared then she's have a screaming frightened child on her hands. He was 6 at the time. So my friend told him everything he could expect from takeoff to landing. So later, as they were boarding the plane, his mom sent her video of him walking confidently through the airport and greeting the flight attendants like he does this every day. His mother was amazed. They all had a wonderful time and he was a good little gentleman the whole time.
The level of understanding and empathy you have as parents towards your child and the way he processes stimulation is truly astonishing!! If only every parent could understand children from this perspective. Amazing parenting ❤
I appreciate that you find your child's independence and autonomy very important. I think a LOT of things would've been so much easier for me to process as a kid if an adult just explained what was going to happen with me. Even vacations were stressful (though very much appreciated) because I've always been a ball of anxiety and vacations are full of unknowns for children.
I don't have children but this is weirdly comforting to watch. I did not grow up in a great household and it's just nice to know there are parents out there who care this much about supporting their child to grow up happy and having some control over their own life, rather than being an annoyance or accessory to the parent
Sucky pouch tip is a winner for me!! My boy had a MELTDOWN when his ears were sore last flight. Will definitely do this next time. Thanks!
my inner child made me cry a bit watching this video because of how caring and educated both Jessica and Claudia are, such wonderful parents. the connection in this family is so beautiful and precious♥
Watching this to get tips for myself because I have adhd and severe anxiety so basically a toddler and I HATE flying! My fiancée is Australian so I really need to get better with plane journeys cos we will be visiting aus every couple of years (usually stop at Malaysia on the way though, maybe next time we will stay overnight or something)
Thanks for sharing!! Hope yall had an amazing visit/trip!
One thing I make to keep small kids occupied on long flights, train or car rides are 'I Spy' quilts. They are a cuddly warm quilt for them to cuddle up in, but also have loads of colourful images containing items that they can look for, name, count, compare & contrast etc and play traditional games like 'I Spy' or 'Animal, Vegetable or Mineral'. The most recent one I made had over 300 images including people, animals, colours & shapes, food of all kinds, buildings, vehicles, clothing, tools, holiday items etc. I love your videos and I'd be happy to make one for your toddler!
I love this. Your parenting is so inclusive. I wish I had parents like you guys
What lovely mothers you both are. Rupert is a lucky little chap. 🎀💖🎀
This is a really helpful video! I don't even have kids, but it's great for when I do. I love how you think of all these things. How wonderful for Rupert 😊 also as a child who couldn't eat depending on the environment due to anxiety, it's just so lovely to see such thoughtful, kind parents being aware of that!
This is such an EXCELLENT video.. and also sooooo beautiful to hear how your parenting him, what a lucky boy. This is such an excellent example of respectful parenting, and how if you co-operate with your child, treat them with respect, they also internalise treating you with respect also, and every thing quite literally does go more smoothly. For the smaller investment in planning, thoughtfulness and creating calm the payoff is so so big and such a nicer family life, and I'm so pleased for you guys to be experiencing that and creating that and proud of you too ❤️
Don't have kids but love watching your videos! you are one of my comfort channels for sure!
You guys always post videos that are so relevant to me! I'm going on a flight with my toddler in a couple of months (and while pregnant!) and I'm so worried about how it's going to go.
Thank you for sharing all these tips, Rupert is very lucky to have you both as parents ! I don't ever want to become a mother, but I am definitely taking notes for friends and family :) and honestly, it feels somehow healing to hear your thought process about parenting, I wish more children were raised in such a healthy environment, with people who prioritise their feelings, comfort and autonomy. Great video as always !
So, my bubba is younger (just turned 19 months) but for me much prefer day flights. Yes, challenge to keep her entertained, but she is a poor/light sleeper, and so is very likely to wake regularly and be upset / not sleep well at all in the bassinet. So that is much more disruptive to her if night sleep gets wrecked, plus am more conscious of disturbing other passengers if they are trying to sleep. Whereas she can just nap on us. To be fair apart from 1 really long trip to the US, most of our trips have been to Aus and back, so ~8h only.
Love the tray table! Also good tip on the fruit pouches for when abit older. Tbh we are moving back to Aus soon and i plan on avoiding plane travel for the forseeable future 😅
Love this video. Beautifully presented. So happy to see Jess so well and able to enjoy all the demanding physical activities of traveling, touring and recreation. 👍😘
Absolutely loved this video! I want kids very much in the future and I hope I'm in a position to travel, so these were all great tips for keeping them as comfortable and calm as possible with the process, and allowing them to lead as much as possible. I wish more parents were like you two.
Thank you so much for this video! It was so so cool to hear all of these tips! My husband is from India and we are wanting to start a family in the next 5 years, and it was really comforting to hear all of these!
Y'all are amazing parents and ur son is adorable❤
Every time you put out a new video and Jessica is still able to carry Rupert around on her hip I want to give her a high five 🫡
Thank you for raising him with love - I just KNOW he'll stay in your lives forever!
I need an inflatable mattress for MY next flight 😂
I never wanted children. But you guys make it seem easy. You put Rupert first and explain things to him in a calm way. When I was growing up, and as a young adult, it was "do as I say!" sort of child rearing.
I don’t have any kids but I still enjoy this video because it is so interesting and entertaining. ❤️ Rupert is very lucky to have both of you, Jessica and Claudia. 🙂
This video is so wholesome and helpful 🧡
My wife survived a flight from North Carolina to England with two 4 year-olds. I was already in England for grad school and as soon as our family visa arrived, she and our kids headed out to meet me. I have no idea how she did it (I think she should have been sainted) but no one wanted to kill her after the flight was over. Actually, several people remarked how well-behaved the little rascals were. I have to say, I was never so happy to see them in all my life. We'd be apart for several months and it really wore on me not to have my family around me.
My father was from a different country and we always visited his family at least once a year. Ever since I can remember I had a bag to pack by myself. When I was small it was just toys and as I got older it very naturally evolved to me packing my own clothes etc. as well. Of course at first my parents would check that I had the appropiate amounts of everything, but it was so nice to plan and make lists of everything well in advance.
This was so healing to watch for my inner child! You are such amazing mothers! I just felt so calm listening to your beautiful, careful, consideration for your child. Thank you for sharing! I'm sure other parents really appreciate all the great tips!! ❤
This is so beautiful and precious 😭❤️ I wish my parents could have watched your channel couple decades ago
I loved this video. My partner and I love traveling and are thinking about having kids soon. It's reassuring to see people making travel with toddlers work. Also, Jessica i absolutely live that blouse you have on!
Truly wish I had had y'all as my parents growing up- would have ended up a hell of a lot better off. Also for loud/overwhelming situations like that food place you were all at- consider getting some loop earbuds (they don't play music, they just block out certain background noise) or some ear defenders for rupert- if he's okay with things being on his head he might really appreciate something like that to feel more comfortable in overstimulating settings.
What wonderful tips. You are wonderful Mums.
Roo needs the same amount of prep for travel as I do! 😅 taking my nephew on a trip was fun for me bc I need so much prep, looking at pictures, maps, plans, videos that he could be involved in ❤
Thank you for such an informative video! I don't have kids but it's really sweet to hear about how you travel as a family. I feel for Rupert and definitely recommend kid sized Loop earplugs if you haven't already! Being overstimulated at restaurants/gatherings/commuting can be so rough for me, and I can only imagine how little ones feel :o( Best of luck and happy Lunar New Year!
We are having our first big family holiday in 10 days and we are trying to think of different things we can bring on the plane to help our 2 year old pass the 2.5-3 hour flight. We have had a couple of shorter 1-ish hour flights before when visiting family, but he's way more active now and it's a longer flight. I need to look into sticker books for him, that might be something he would enjoy :) It's probably too close to the time to pull them out now but it wouldn't hurt to try.
Also thank you for mentioning the buggy bag! Ours got a little damaged on the last flight so I went and ordered one right away when you mentioned it. Great idea!
Thanks for the fun video as always!
Talk about perfect timing! I was just thinking this past week how much I’m dreading our very first long-distance, going by airplane vacation with our toddler coming up this June (for shortly after his 3rd birthday)-I’ve got adhd and intense anxiety for things outside the predictable routines, and have been feeling awful about it but unable to help that what should be a lovely family trip has just been this looming sense of DOOM since we decided on it a month ago. Thanks to this video though (which tackled my exact stressors with it), I feel so much better!! I’m actually looking forward to it now finally haha thanks so much to you both! ❤
Wow you guys are such smart proactive parents more parents should follownin your footsteps👏
Love all of it. I’ve done some of these and that’s why I’m a favorite auntie.
If Rupert gets overstimulated in noisy environments, it might be worth getting him some ear defenders or noise reducing ear buds (I know that Calmer do kids ones, but not sure what the youngest age is for them). The ear defenders block almost all noise, he'd have to rely on BSL to communicate; whereas the ear buds are hollow and just reduce the reverberation within the ear canal, so he'd still be able to hear sounds.
Also, not trying to diagnose your toddler over the internet, but noise sensitivity, "safe foods" and needing to know the plan can all be signs of neurodivergence. It might just be something to do a bit of research on and look out for - obviously you interact with him every day so you know his personality and traits much better than we can see from these snippets.
Generally, an early diagnosis (if he is neurodivergent) is so much better in terms of support and understanding, both from others and from himself, especially if you'll be in these kinds of environments a lot due to Claudia's Malaysian family.
Hope this is helpful. Looks like you had a great time with your adorable family anyway and you seem to be doing a fantastic job of parenting!
"Yeah, look how many of us are in therapy" is a great comeback when people question the respect and autonomy we give children nowadays (compared with the past).
Thoughtful caring parenting tips for trips with toddler’s 🏆🏆 What a heartfelt helpful video! Thank you Champion Jesse and champion Claud ❤
It brings back so many memories. My youngest (of three) is 21, so it's really more important for dealing with future grandkids.
You have explained before why you travel to Malaysia. It's completely understandable. It must be so frustrating having to go over this again. I love your travel vlogs, thank you for sharing.
That little bear hat is so cute I can’t handle it!
I love your channel so muchhhh
Great tips!!
Absolutely amazing top notch parenting
lol not me feeling hungry while watching this because all the food looks so good. Also, you both are such lovely parents, it's so wholesome
Already sent this to my hubby so we can get some things for our next flight
have you ever thought about getting Rupert headphones? If you search for ear protection you’ll find those really bulky construction headphones but for children. An other option would be loop earplugs which are in ear and designed for neurodivergent people who get overwhelmed in loud environments but still want to socialise; they have a children’s version. Besides these maybe you could look for noise cancelling earbuds or concert ear protection.
I loved the wibble wobble intermission! next time my insides feel a bit funny I will go find myself some wibble wobble rocks, too
I agree with the necessity of middle names! Can mentally help growing up or navigating different spaces and phases in life just by knowing that there's options to being yourself even in small ways and you're not tied to one thing. I don't know if that makes sense, I'm currently sleep deprived and English is not my first language. 😅
I just did a 24 hour trip from Switzerland to Australia with my 1 year old, alone while I'm 3 months pregnant.... And no screens! It was a long flight. But my daughter was pretty good. Took her a week to go back into a normal routine though. 😅
The way you describe Rupert reminds me of how people would talk about me when I was a kid... the things that make me wonder why I don't have an autism diagnosis.
Hey, Jessica - at 9:47 you can see a child's face that I can only assume is Rupert! Hopefully it just got missed, but I wanted to let you know 💖
Lovely video, this is so nice to just put on while doing my makeup or cleaning to listen to!
This is an ad for the Maxi Cosy. You can see their logo in the top right. So this is not Rupert
Just wanted to let y'all know I got chatting to a lovely older woman sitting across from me in the thrift shop, and she said she loved my outfit (bright colours and stripes) and that today was the last day of Chinese new year so my red shirt and red lipstick were very fitting! I talked to her about the red envelopes and about how my wife and I, like y'all, are a rabbit and dragon 😂
I figured youtube parasocial relationships were a step too far for her so I just said one of my friends is half chinese malaysian and they take their baby to malaysia every year for the Lunar new year! She loved it 🥰🥰🥰
I think the most impressive thing I've seen at an airport was a stroller that collapsed with like a push of a button and it was small enough to fit into a backpack. I dont even have kids and i was fascinated
Claud, as someone familiar with Malaysia, you could share what you love and what you recommend to tourists?
I’m an anxious traveler, I’m watching this for tips for toddler-less self lol
i really clicked on this BAFFLED thinking you had a 12 hour long FIGHT with your toddler 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭✋🏼✋🏼✋🏼✋🏼
One thing I often struggle with is mealtimes with children. Growing up in my home mealtimes were adult conversation times and children could only join in if they were invited or if they had finished eating. I'm pretty sure this was out of necessity as it was often the only time we were all sitting down together at the same time. So my parents needed to discuss life without us interrupting.
Now when I'm having dinner with my partners extended family and their children I find it just impossible to have any sort of conversation because the kids are constantly interrupting or wanting to change the subject when it's not interesting to them.
Again this is often the only time we have to talk about things like plans for the next day or travel arrangements ect.
It also doesn't help that I am deaf and need to lip read and can't follow what is being said when there is too much noise.
Not child related, but as someone with celiac I would be really interested in how you've worked with your dietary restrictions in Asia. I've heard from people that Asia is much harder with dietary restrictions (just less of an allergen culture), but i would still love to travel that direction someday!
I also grew up without a middle name and yes, it is tragic! Especially because I never liked my first name and had no backup. My kids are getting one middle name, I do think one is enough though!
P.s. You know how people say "couple goals", well not only are you two "couple goals" but also, "parenting goals". ❤
Who else is reminding themselves that chips are french fries and not like a bag of chips. 😂
I have a general tip for surviving airplanes as an adult it's particularly good for those who have toddlers who like flail when they're upset in parents arms if you take a tennis ball with you in your carry-on you can use it between you and the seat to help with pain put the ball where it hurts and lean back and wiggle the movement will help relieve the muscle tension
Haha I STILL haven't got around to watching this but every time I see this video I think it says "without screams" 🤣