"Not getting to kill Hitler in a World War 2 game is like hiering an expensive prostitute to come to your hotel room and massage your kneecaps" Made my night, Yahtzee
Wolfenstein III: The New Zion, in which Set founds a new D'aat Yischud stronghold that becomes a mecca for the world's non-Nazis. World War III follows.
They actually referenced the Venus base (kind of) in TNO. In the London mission, in the rubble in the beginning, there's a broken sign with a planet on it and says "Venus." Of course it's incredibly low-res, like everything else that isn't something to shoot at.
You can also see posters in the Nautica and on the moon that say "Nächster Halt: Venus!" I don't think you need to know German to piece together a translation.
Porky SHHH! Don't mention anything Nintendo around Yahtzee! It will attract his fans who do their best to drive people who like Nintendo to suicide with their ingnorance! Even though the Switch has been pretty great so far...
When it comes down to it, Doom and Wolfenstein are really just basic first person shooters. They're not doing anything calculation-wise that can't be done on the Switch, they're just really pretty. All they have to do is tone down the graphics.
Yes, the gunplay and damage feedback in New Colossus are utterly broken. This game was a bigger disappointment than finding out drag queens had nothing to do with racing. Or royalty.
and the cringe-worthy dialog ok game I get it you want to be ANTIFA I get it! and yes I was disappointed in drag queens too! especially Rue Pals drag race!
The New Order is probably one of my favorite games of all time. I was immediately put off by the New Colossus. For one, WHY THE FUCK AM I RUNNING PITHY FETCH QUESTS INSIDE THE THE SUBMARINE. and two, the level design was just...... bad. Especially in nuked out manhattan. I am really bummed out that I don't like this game. And yes the second space mission was fucking ridiculous.
The reason Venus is more ridiculous is because... well... have you seen the atmosphere conditions in that planet? It tries to kill you in 5 different ways as hard as possible.
They did try really fucking hard obviously it's a triple a game you can't fake it you have to design every set price and meachanic which this game is full of you mean focus more on the story instead of making a plot around what happens instead of what makes sense
What was weird about the stealth sections is that since the enemies endlessly respawn until you kill the commanders, to me it didn't even feel like non-stealth was an option. Like in DOOM you fight the demons until there's none left, in Wolfenstein apparently you fight the Nazis until you get bored and sprint past them to shank the commander.
TBH I'd say the game does encourage you to try and be stealthy cus if you just run in to most encounters guns blazing you will survive about 4 seconds on even normal difficulty. If you don't stealth kill a good 50% of the foes in an area before the real fight breaks out its almost certainly game over. But the stealth isn't actually that fun and the gunplay is boring and frustratingly difficult. Makes me wonder who they made this game for...
I liked New Colossus because of the pre combat dialogue of the patrolling Nazis. Some are baby killers who like it but others sound like regular guys who are terrified of the unkillable super soldier they’re sent to fight. You get to read their letters, diaries and post cards home. It went a long way to humanizing them.
My favorite was the two nazi's who are talking about how they can't sympathize with the terrorists because they kill people just for thinking differently, and then one casually asks the other if they're going to sign up for death squad try-outs.
@@iamthechanceman You know why they put that in though. "You can't beat people up just cause they disagree with you" is a common criticism of far-left groups nowadays, so it's just taking the piss.
I rather enjoyed the NC, but for different reasons as the NO. To quote THAD: "There is no one singular truth in life" Things can be just as good as each other for different reasons. Also, the whole "Having no adversity" was kind of the point. That's how powerful the Nazis are. Even all that is barely able to stop them
@ Kanashe - Always impressive to observe some person with such an empty, pointless life that he a) watches youtube channels he apparently doesn't like and b) even takes time to post a comment about it. Epic loser.
I haven't even played New Order yet, but I'm pretty sure Wolfenstein stealth was probably intended as a 'see if you can sprint through this using only a suppressed pistol' part.
God, this is the greatest review I've ever witnessed. Finally someone says it. He went through word for word every thought that passed in my mind as I played the new colossus. Everyone else seems to be hating the politics of this game, or praising it because they don't want to be seen as hating the politics of it. The gunplay wasn't as good as the the new order, same as everything else about the game. I really wanted to like it, but when it started to get good it was over. I just ed wanted more of the new order.
Finished New Colossus recently. What bothered me the most is that after all the trailers that showed how American culture changed under the Nazis and all the over the top parodies (Blitzmensch, German or Else! ect.), there was pretty much nothing of that in the game. A good part plays on the hijacked submarine from the first game, a radioactive wasteland that used to be New York, a desolate swamp that used to be New Orleans and so on. There's one tiny section where you need to infiltrate Rosswell and get a glimpse of the new America. And even then there's pretty much nothing to be seen. Some KKK members have a casual chat with a nazi officer, a mother chastizes her son for neglecting his German lessons and some commander that apperently likes milkshakes. That's about it. I loved TNO for the story and environments, but TNC is about as generic as it gets. Even worse, it's stupid in the wrong ways. Remember that Lassy-knockoff featuring a Panzerhund and a little girl? Waited the entire fucking game for it, instead I got a black dude shagging a fat renegade nazi chick in a mini-submarine and an all black super hacker squad that used to chill in a skyscraper in the middle of a nuked city. For shame, Bethesda, for shame!
@@gtassa01 Tell me what's wrong with the black dude shagging the fat renegade nazi chick in a mini-submarine and the all black super hacker squad that used to chill in a scyscraper in the middle of a nuked city.
Venus? That makes less sense than mars and that's not taking into account how much war monologue with a space fortress named aries could bring to the table, but I really meant how venus is one of the most uninhabitable planet to choose from when the conditions are high corrosion, immense gravity, and intense heat.
St alc yeah it's totally bonkers, but from what I can gather the "reason" behind it was if the resistance ever got there they wouldn't have the resources to survive on the surface, like the Nazis do, for example every minute or so you need to refuel your suit with Liquid Nitrogen (or something else very cold) and most of the enemies are drones in this section in the outdoor parts.
I mean, "Nazi in giant robot suit" isn't really any less versatile than "majestic, lumbering creature made of stone", but not everybody is actually a competent designer like the guys who made Shadow of the Collosus.
It was kind of a huge dissapointment in certain parts, And also imo BJ seemed really "whinney" in this one, And also an evil power hungry nazi general is nowhere near as good of a villain as a mad cruel nazi scientist (or mecha hitler for that matter)
I agree 100%. The Blaskowitz from 2009 may be a generic action hero but I'll take that over the Blaskowitz that has to bitch every 5 seconds. Kinda jarring when the guy who mows down Nazis like they're blades of grass wants us to pretend to sympathize with him.
Tbh I half agree with you. He's very bitchy. But on the other hand he's survived through so much shit that I can't really blame him for being whiny. He did have his guts blown out from a grenade ande survived
This game was immensely disappointing, and The New Order is one of my all-time greats. Couldn't decide if it was a stealth game or an action shooter, so you end up with crazy dual-wield weapons, waves of enemies and empowering audio-visual design being hampered by a protagonist that's as tough as spunk-drenched loo roll. And don't give me the whole "ooh, but it's thematically appropriate" spiel. I don't care how thematic something is if it renders the game that frustrating. It just wasn't fun. Throw in a turn towards outright zaniness, characters that became lazy stereotypes and exposition-laden dialogue and the whole thing just felt half-baked and mediocre. All I wanted to blaze through fascist scum like in the first game, but instead I got this mechanically and narratively confused mess.
@Robert Miller Literally all Wolfenstein games were Anti-Nazi, this one goes way beyond that. Blaskowtiz even joins a group of Communists, an ideology that's just as destructive as Naziism. You can claim he had no choice, but imagine a game where the Soviets ruled the US and the protagonist joined Neo-Nazis, how well would THAT go over?
@@jerrodshack7610 What lack of basic world history? You mean the part where Communism lead to the starvation and death of millions of people? Far more than the Nazis could've ever dreamed of?
Do my eyes deceive me? Could it be?!? By God, it is! Actual criticism of _Wolfenstein II_ that DOESN'T include BS like "it's anti-white propaganda", "they shouldn't have brought politics in this", etc. I didn't think it was actually possible. I mean I don't completely agree with all of Mr. Croshaw's comments in this vid, but hey, at least these come off as reasonable!
Admittedly, plans for a base established on Venus were mentioned in The New Order, but if I remember correctly, those plans were still in the planning stage.
I like how yahtzee has a problem with the execution, seemingly forgetting that the existence of a sequel already means that BJ survived a nuke detonating like 50 feet away. Lol
I actually really enjoyed New Colossus. The story felt a big lackluster at the end, but the rest feels like a good payoff for the sadness and struggles the resistance went through in New Order. I cant wait for the Freedom Chronicles to come out!
I played as much of the game as possible stealthy, I made extensive use of the silenced pistol, and I never once equipped dual wield. I also enjoyed the game immensely.
You also go to Area 52 in this game. For one level. The most alien thing you see is a spaceship in one cutscene. No wonder people didn't go to Area 51, the alien stuff was in the next base over.
only mandatory english reading i had to do was birdsong and macbeth, all the other mandatory was in my native language (dutch). I only discoverd his works very recently
Meh it was more of the same. Shooting aspects of the game haven't really changed all the much since earlier Wolfenstein games. And they've always had batshit crazy stories. Fights were just tough enough to be a challenge. My only critism is that when you were being shot there wasn't much feedback. Hopefully the pay off will be good as it seemed like it was setting up for a much bigger game later.
3:32-3:37 So basically just like how my dad handled me accidentally dropping a glass of drink one time, just without getting yelled at so hard, you'd wonder why your eardrums haven't been busted yet.
The 2nd most honest review I’ve found on the entire UA-cam platform for this game, am I one of three who thinks the king has no clothes, or is every one blind to wolfinstein.
You may be one of the few people who think the emperor is naked, because you aren't giving him enough attention to realize he's just wearing a sweet, skin-colored track suit.
If you go to yahtzee for honest reviews, you'll play like 3 games in your life. The man hates everything, this is a good game so regardless what this british twat says, like Mcdonalds. Im loving it :)
Sebastian Holsen And that's the right spirit. If you read between the lines, it's also not that hard to see that he thought it was okay, just a victim to his general high standards for sequels of things he likes and general sequelitis (aka: “why a new game if there is not much bew to it?“). I don't know why exactly he did not like the story but why he then likes New Order, but oh well, maybe it just didn't get to him somehow. Can definitely see the complaints on gameplay, though.
Of course it’s not as good as New Order, but that game had the shock value of being the game I didn’t know I wished for. The Venus stuff weren’t remotely as cool as the Moon stuff, but I can’t wait for the DLC to be released :D
The New Order is still miles better in all respects. The segments with BJ’s dad are some of the worst, most forced dramatic moments I’ve ever seen in a video game, and I’ve seen all of David Cage’s fucking fiascos.
Yeah, the scenes with BJ’s dad just made BJ himself less relatable imo. It turned BJ from an average American patriot who fought dispite the advantages he’d have in a nazi-run world to just another oppressed minority with serious daddy issues.
It also came out of the blue. In TNO, there's an underwater section with monologues from BJ's thoughts, and he brings up his dad a couple of times, and doesn't seem particularly bitter about him. Besides that, we've seen characters like Rip before, in so many other forms of media, he's a walking cliche.
I actually thought Venus was handled way better than the moon, when i got to the moon, i was excited for lots of low G combat and get very little of it. In Venus, i actually had to factor in the combat environment. Not getting to kill or otherwise ruin Hitler's day was a turn off though, and if the series doesnt finish up with him in a Mech suit now, i am throwing wolfenstein into the big trash bin with the rest of the games id has made in the past decade.
Spoiler warning, even if the game is several years old: Presumably he meant when BJ gets publically decapitated but his friends manage to reattach his head to a machine in time to save him
Yeah the gameplay was really bad. You unfairly died very quickly in this game because they decided to make it like Doom but poor and your health is vacuumed because of unfair enemy placement
That point on the robot suits... I feel like the escalation of the robot suits might be to make them something that looks like Lovecraft puked it up between books, and left it in the folder labelled "probably too silly". Like... I don't know, a two headed robot centaur suit with 4 robot tentacles taken from the doctor Octavius school of robotics. Its dumb, but its an escalation that isn't just "its bigger". Side note: size escalation has been done a lot better in a certain anime I've already watched... They made a super galactic sized mecha that even looked like a galaxy, and promptly caused the singularity.
There were so many points in the final level where I wanted to yell, “what the fuck are you doing? Protect the adorable pregnant polish woman and don’t bring her to a battlefield!” So I’ll give machine games this: they made me care.
@@themoleman6806 And had her shooting them shirtless and pregnant and covered in blood, firing guns. This is probably the worst scenario for a pregnant woman to be in.
What made me laugh hardest out of anything in this very funny review was the mental image of a man getting his entire body pushed through a cattle grid. What makes that happen in a human brain?
I had/am having a fucking blast with New Colossus. Lots of great writing, and I play it the same way I play Deus Ex - stealth it up until I cock it up, and then we see if I can shoot my way out. It's like a mash-up of Call of Duty games by a dev team that just wants to enjoy its job.
Spoilers! I couldn't take this game seriously at all. the fucking tone is all over the place and the dialogue is cringey as all hell. One moment BJ is getting beaten by his abusive father, the next he is surviving decapitation and fart jokes. I had no idea what the fuck they were even going for in terms of story which wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't such a huge focus on it at the expense of the gameplay.
Joshua Quintero I agree completely. The game was a mess from start to finish and I was thoroughly confused by the wild shifts in tone. At first it seems like you're going to need to take it so seriously, with Frau Engel being so vicious and unpredictable and William's severe injuries and imminent death, but then you have a conversation about ball sacks with a breastfeeding woman and you're fucking off to Venus where a drunk Hitler pisses in a bucket. And the whole "surprise, new body!" thing completely eliminated the somber bedrock the game had been building itself on. The moment when a shirtless, heavily pregnant woman machined gunned a bunch of guys while smiling maniacally and bathing herself in blood was one of the greatest heights of what-the-fuckery I've ever seen in a game. It wasn't sexy. It wasn't empowering. It wasn't some profound statement on breaking norms. It was just weird, creepy, and wildly irresponsible. What were these people smoking?
0:20 Wait, where's the perfectly deadpan Rick Astley lookalike face Yahtzee always uses? Who's the hedgehog-headed kid who is totally cracking a tiny smirk in that photo? I demand answers, Yahtzee!
Grave Flower I need a link because the last I saw on there was The Surge after they'd had technical difficulties. This is on the official Zero Punctuation page.
I could hear Yahtzhee running out of breath on this one. Usually the way he edits it is less obvious but I guess this time round he was having some trouble.
OTOH It is SP focused and has not shitty MTX's or gambling - so buy two copies for yourself and one for each friend you have (real or imagined) & DO NOT buy other games that do (*cough* EA (cough*).
Quote Totalbiscuit on twitter Nov.19th 2017: All the leaves are brown (leeeavess are brrowwnn) And the sky is.. brown (sky is brown) Nazis also brown (actually yellow) But all other stuff is brown (yes its brown!) Wolfenstein dreamin'
My thoughts exactly. Strange that you didn't mension the chores you have to go through to get the 100% completition mark. -Find Gold collectibles -Find Max's collectibles toys (lol rlly? find goddamn toys?) -Kill slightly tougher nazi officer with a kampfpistole after finding them (by killing standard nazi officers and going through the most boring minigame in videogame's history to decipher enigma codes)
That's what you go through for wanting to be a completionist. Also, what about the Steam achievements? You need to beat the game on Mein Leben with just 1 life. Good luck with that.
This being youtube, I was expecting the comments section to be filled with edgy kek memers insulted by the game's negetive portrayel of nazis. Good to see Yahtzee's audience is somewhat clued up about that bullshit.
I can only imagine his hairdresser's not lacking for terrible puns, either. That section didn't so much jump the shark as it did Pole-vault the Manatee, but I guess its nice to see id games not taking themselves seriously again
"...and where the environment has more food and health items lying around than a church harvest festival after a staggeringly successful guilt trip...."
So, just play the vastly superior Wolfenstein The New Order and The Old Blood instead? Wait for Wolfenstein The New Colossus to go into deep sale as it fails to sell at $65? Got it m8.
Nobody cared. That's the thing, this game was awful and they tried to start a controversy to move stock. By attempting to piss off an entirely non-existent demographic of imaginary Nazis. So nobody cared.
It actually sacrificed it's own narrative and gameplay for the sake of "pissing off the alt-right." It goes on and on about "the american people rising up" but the only people fighting are anarchists and communists both ideologies that are unpopular with actual americans. If this game wanted anything resembling a uniting theme it would have featured a republican and a democrat joining the team, picking fights but ultimately working together. But that doesn't happen leftists are getting increasingly sociopathic in their own delusions. In ten years literally everyone, including the people that like it, will conclude New Collousus was a mistake.
The Marketing Team really stoked the flames, to be honest. They directly referenced Trump, like they were trying to start shit and comparing Trump to the Nazis. Because that old line hasn't become worn out even before he got sworn in.
"Not getting to kill Hitler in a World War 2 game is like hiering an expensive prostitute to come to your hotel room and massage your kneecaps"
Made my night, Yahtzee
I'm calling it. Wolfenstien III: The new empire. It'll be set in Japan, so there will be Nazi Ninja Robots.
Joe1up the E3 trailer is just images of Japan with music and ends with one very brief shot of a nazi samurai.
Wolfenstein III: The New Zion, in which Set founds a new D'aat Yischud stronghold that becomes a mecca for the world's non-Nazis. World War III follows.
Joe1up I'd play that
NAZI NINJAS
That would be sick
Nazi ninjas sounds cool
"If it's not the intended experience, leave it out"
A MILLION times this
I love Yahtzee's complex sentences. Sometimes they are so long, he goes out of breath. And god, they are funny as all hell.
I love how Yhatzee just dies at the end of some sentences
They actually referenced the Venus base (kind of) in TNO. In the London mission, in the rubble in the beginning, there's a broken sign with a planet on it and says "Venus." Of course it's incredibly low-res, like everything else that isn't something to shoot at.
There are newspaper clips and exhibition pieces saying that Venus is the next goal for the Nazi Space Force...
You can also see posters in the Nautica and on the moon that say "Nächster Halt: Venus!" I don't think you need to know German to piece together a translation.
The fact that he comes back from BEING DECAPITATED is at first a big twist moment but feels just odd now
he should have died at the end of new order and they should have left it there
I'm looking forward to Wolfenstein III: New Zealand, where you learn to bake ANZAC biscuits after rebuilding the Australia New Zealand Army Corps.
psxman I know this comment is like a year old but ANZAC biscuits are seriously the best.
What's that skippy?
TheIntergalacticN
Wolfenstein has released a sequel, allowing for more drowning Nazis in their own piss?
What good news.
WHA SKIPPY!
TheIntergalacticN What's that skippy? Kangaroo meat is a tastier replacement for beef?
Oh Skippy, I already knew that.
Can you wriggle down to the basement or do you need me to kick you down the stairs again?
Can we talk about how the hell they are gonna get this running on the switch?
Pretty easy. Lower textures and 30fps is pretty easy. Doom uses near enough the same engine I'm pretty sure and that runs great on Switch
Porky
SHHH! Don't mention anything Nintendo around Yahtzee! It will attract his fans who do their best to drive people who like Nintendo to suicide with their ingnorance! Even though the Switch has been pretty great so far...
the mad geniuses at panic button. they can port anything
Lower resolution.
The solution for consoles and handhelds.
When it comes down to it, Doom and Wolfenstein are really just basic first person shooters. They're not doing anything calculation-wise that can't be done on the Switch, they're just really pretty. All they have to do is tone down the graphics.
Can't wait for Wolfenstein III: The New York Times!
Mental Window That joke was in the video.
kduhtdkzrt I was referencing it
Interesting male character pfp, wheres he from?
Yes, the gunplay and damage feedback in New Colossus are utterly broken. This game was a bigger disappointment than finding out drag queens had nothing to do with racing. Or royalty.
and the cringe-worthy dialog ok game I get it you want to be ANTIFA I get it! and yes I was disappointed in drag queens too! especially Rue Pals drag race!
JopieHaargel
you’re a fucking genius with that metaphor dude
+JopieHaargel +Pepper
Just this. Bad gameplay with cringy SJW dialogue. They fucked this one up.
@@frealms "nazis are bad"
UGH FUCKING CRINGY SJWS WE GET IT
@@jerrodshack7610 are you trying to defend Nazis...
The New Order is probably one of my favorite games of all time. I was immediately put off by the New Colossus. For one, WHY THE FUCK AM I RUNNING PITHY FETCH QUESTS INSIDE THE THE SUBMARINE. and two, the level design was just...... bad. Especially in nuked out manhattan. I am really bummed out that I don't like this game. And yes the second space mission was fucking ridiculous.
Not to mention bj losing every part of him besides his head
In Wolfenstein III you open an Interdimensional gateway; from the Roswell mission, and get both of your friends back from the alternate time lines
Some of the best 5 minutes in a week.
"That's what she said !!!"
The reason Venus is more ridiculous is because... well... have you seen the atmosphere conditions in that planet? It tries to kill you in 5 different ways as hard as possible.
You just perfectly summed up how I felt about the game. Lets hope they actually try harder for the finale
finale? there wont be one! so you just freed america but Idiolgy is not up rooted so easly so wouldnt half if not all Americans still be natzis?
Pepper I'm sure there will be.
Pepper unless you're quoting the game lol
They did try really fucking hard obviously it's a triple a game you can't fake it you have to design every set price and meachanic which this game is full of you mean focus more on the story instead of making a plot around what happens instead of what makes sense
Mean Green Slitheen I though it was just SJW nonsense
I love how he gets out of breath at 3:55
What was weird about the stealth sections is that since the enemies endlessly respawn until you kill the commanders, to me it didn't even feel like non-stealth was an option. Like in DOOM you fight the demons until there's none left, in Wolfenstein apparently you fight the Nazis until you get bored and sprint past them to shank the commander.
I cant wait a week to say this. Yahtzee's review of Assassin's Creed Origins is my new personal favorite from him!
:l
3:54 The problem with using zero punctuation is sometimes you run out of breath
TBH I'd say the game does encourage you to try and be stealthy cus if you just run in to most encounters guns blazing you will survive about 4 seconds on even normal difficulty. If you don't stealth kill a good 50% of the foes in an area before the real fight breaks out its almost certainly game over. But the stealth isn't actually that fun and the gunplay is boring and frustratingly difficult. Makes me wonder who they made this game for...
Apparently not chimps like you
I liked New Colossus because of the pre combat dialogue of the patrolling Nazis. Some are baby killers who like it but others sound like regular guys who are terrified of the unkillable super soldier they’re sent to fight. You get to read their letters, diaries and post cards home. It went a long way to humanizing them.
Hey you! I'm a baby killer and I fukkin LIKE it!
My favorite was the two nazi's who are talking about how they can't sympathize with the terrorists because they kill people just for thinking differently, and then one casually asks the other if they're going to sign up for death squad try-outs.
@@iamthechanceman You know why they put that in though. "You can't beat people up just cause they disagree with you" is a common criticism of far-left groups nowadays, so it's just taking the piss.
I rather enjoyed the NC, but for different reasons as the NO. To quote THAD: "There is no one singular truth in life"
Things can be just as good as each other for different reasons.
Also, the whole "Having no adversity" was kind of the point. That's how powerful the Nazis are. Even all that is barely able to stop them
The most important thing to remember about evil is how banal and relatable it actually is.
now that Escapist is tanking, where will we watch Yahtzee?
That was harsh, this is the man's job. I wouln't want it to just fade away because one company couldn't keep him afloat.
@ Kanashe - Always impressive to observe some person with such an empty, pointless life that he a) watches youtube channels he apparently doesn't like and b) even takes time to post a comment about it. Epic loser.
He also did game development, I like Yahtzee.
His videos are great.
Hey, if you stop pissing in your own cheerios, you won't have piss flavored cheerios.
Kanashe You're a shallow, bitter human. You must be a liberal as you'd rather see someone fail than hope they succeed. Pathetic.
No limericks? I am disappoint.
I haven't even played New Order yet, but I'm pretty sure Wolfenstein stealth was probably intended as a 'see if you can sprint through this using only a suppressed pistol' part.
I've got a joke...
The FCC
-wont let me be, or let me be me, so let me see...
God, this is the greatest review I've ever witnessed. Finally someone says it. He went through word for word every thought that passed in my mind as I played the new colossus. Everyone else seems to be hating the politics of this game, or praising it because they don't want to be seen as hating the politics of it.
The gunplay wasn't as good as the the new order, same as everything else about the game. I really wanted to like it, but when it started to get good it was over. I just ed wanted more of the new order.
Yahtzee looks really cute as a cat.
Finished New Colossus recently.
What bothered me the most is that after all the trailers that showed how American culture changed under the Nazis and all the over the top parodies (Blitzmensch, German or Else! ect.), there was pretty much nothing of that in the game.
A good part plays on the hijacked submarine from the first game, a radioactive wasteland that used to be New York, a desolate swamp that used to be New Orleans and so on. There's one tiny section where you need to infiltrate Rosswell and get a glimpse of the new America. And even then there's pretty much nothing to be seen. Some KKK members have a casual chat with a nazi officer, a mother chastizes her son for neglecting his German lessons and some commander that apperently likes milkshakes. That's about it.
I loved TNO for the story and environments, but TNC is about as generic as it gets. Even worse, it's stupid in the wrong ways. Remember that Lassy-knockoff featuring a Panzerhund and a little girl? Waited the entire fucking game for it, instead I got a black dude shagging a fat renegade nazi chick in a mini-submarine and an all black super hacker squad that used to chill in a skyscraper in the middle of a nuked city.
For shame, Bethesda, for shame!
Got something against black people?
@@gentlemanscarecrow5987 Really? That was your take away? "You got something against black people?" Do you?
@@gtassa01 Tell me what's wrong with the black dude shagging the fat renegade nazi chick in a mini-submarine and the all black super hacker squad that used to chill in a scyscraper in the middle of a nuked city.
For me it was that we went to all those places to recluit those people and the do NOTHING in the end
I really enjoyed Wolfenstein II.
This better be a good review Yahtzee
Todd Howard Its a fucking Zero Punctuation, Todd. Fasten your fucking seat belt.
To quote Griffin McElroy, "A pox on your house, Todd Howard."
How many creation club credit's© did you use to pay him?
Wow what a great review.
We're not buying Skyrim again, Todd.
I miss Let's Drown Out...
Venus? That makes less sense than mars and that's not taking into account how much war monologue with a space fortress named aries could bring to the table, but I really meant how venus is one of the most uninhabitable planet to choose from when the conditions are high corrosion, immense gravity, and intense heat.
St alc yeah it's totally bonkers, but from what I can gather the "reason" behind it was if the resistance ever got there they wouldn't have the resources to survive on the surface, like the Nazis do, for example every minute or so you need to refuel your suit with Liquid Nitrogen (or something else very cold) and most of the enemies are drones in this section in the outdoor parts.
Where was the "*EURK*" between the title and the subtitle??
He does it when a title has a colon, although normally he reserves it for unnecessary colonated subtitles.
I mean, "Nazi in giant robot suit" isn't really any less versatile than "majestic, lumbering creature made of stone", but not everybody is actually a competent designer like the guys who made Shadow of the Collosus.
It was kind of a huge dissapointment in certain parts, And also imo BJ seemed really "whinney" in this one, And also an evil power hungry nazi general is nowhere near as good of a villain as a mad cruel nazi scientist (or mecha hitler for that matter)
I agree 100%. The Blaskowitz from 2009 may be a generic action hero but I'll take that over the Blaskowitz that has to bitch every 5 seconds. Kinda jarring when the guy who mows down Nazis like they're blades of grass wants us to pretend to sympathize with him.
Tbh I half agree with you. He's very bitchy. But on the other hand he's survived through so much shit that I can't really blame him for being whiny. He did have his guts blown out from a grenade ande survived
it's a good thing that each of your videos start with a good metal music
This game was immensely disappointing, and The New Order is one of my all-time greats. Couldn't decide if it was a stealth game or an action shooter, so you end up with crazy dual-wield weapons, waves of enemies and empowering audio-visual design being hampered by a protagonist that's as tough as spunk-drenched loo roll. And don't give me the whole "ooh, but it's thematically appropriate" spiel. I don't care how thematic something is if it renders the game that frustrating. It just wasn't fun.
Throw in a turn towards outright zaniness, characters that became lazy stereotypes and exposition-laden dialogue and the whole thing just felt half-baked and mediocre. All I wanted to blaze through fascist scum like in the first game, but instead I got this mechanically and narratively confused mess.
@@Lawlaliet literally every single thing he said was in the New Order. I dont think he played either of them.
@Robert Miller Literally all Wolfenstein games were Anti-Nazi, this one goes way beyond that. Blaskowtiz even joins a group of Communists, an ideology that's just as destructive as Naziism. You can claim he had no choice, but imagine a game where the Soviets ruled the US and the protagonist joined Neo-Nazis, how well would THAT go over?
@@VGamingJunkieVT LOL your complete lack of understanding of basic world history is showing
@@jerrodshack7610 What lack of basic world history? You mean the part where Communism lead to the starvation and death of millions of people? Far more than the Nazis could've ever dreamed of?
@@jerrodshack7610 communist dictators doesn't mean communism is as bad as Nazis, it means they're as bad as Nazi dictators.
*That intro will go down as one of the top 10 amine openings*
Do my eyes deceive me? Could it be?!?
By God, it is!
Actual criticism of _Wolfenstein II_ that DOESN'T include BS like "it's anti-white propaganda", "they shouldn't have brought politics in this", etc.
I didn't think it was actually possible.
I mean I don't completely agree with all of Mr. Croshaw's comments in this vid, but hey, at least these come off as reasonable!
How is "being glad that a review covers and critiques the actual important parts of the game" = me being a stupid sheep?
I've seen like 3 other videos that also offer criticism of it, often in more detail (due to being longer).
I know, I thought such things were mere myth.
Even more surprising: this hasn't been downvoted to oblivion for _NOT_ being BS that "it's anti-white propaganda."
How is a nazi killing franchise thats been around since the 80s "SJW propaganda"
Admittedly, plans for a base established on Venus were mentioned in The New Order, but if I remember correctly, those plans were still in the planning stage.
I love letting Yahtzee play video games for me
I like how yahtzee has a problem with the execution, seemingly forgetting that the existence of a sequel already means that BJ survived a nuke detonating like 50 feet away. Lol
I actually really enjoyed New Colossus. The story felt a big lackluster at the end, but the rest feels like a good payoff for the sadness and struggles the resistance went through in New Order. I cant wait for the Freedom Chronicles to come out!
I have to take a moment and say that joke about a hooker massaging knee caps was gold. Gold, Jerry! GOLD!
I played as much of the game as possible stealthy, I made extensive use of the silenced pistol, and I never once equipped dual wield. I also enjoyed the game immensely.
You also go to Area 52 in this game. For one level. The most alien thing you see is a spaceship in one cutscene. No wonder people didn't go to Area 51, the alien stuff was in the next base over.
Anyone else disappointed there wasn't a limerick?
Well great I found this video right after realising that I accidentally got the the second game instead of the first one
Anyone that likes this game should check out the movie Iron Sky.
That movie was awful. Watch man in the high Castle instead
better yet, read it
only mandatory english reading i had to do was birdsong and macbeth, all the other mandatory was in my native language (dutch). I only discoverd his works very recently
I intend to
Fun fact: your head DO actually stay alive for 30 seconds after they're cut off. Joe Scott did a video on this.
Meh it was more of the same. Shooting aspects of the game haven't really changed all the much since earlier Wolfenstein games. And they've always had batshit crazy stories. Fights were just tough enough to be a challenge. My only critism is that when you were being shot there wasn't much feedback. Hopefully the pay off will be good as it seemed like it was setting up for a much bigger game later.
3:32-3:37 So basically just like how my dad handled me accidentally dropping a glass of drink one time, just without getting yelled at so hard, you'd wonder why your eardrums haven't been busted yet.
What's that Skippy you can't get up the stairs what good news
3:59 You're talking about Doom yahtzee. Different game bro, stay on point!!!
Seemed like the poor man's Man in the High Castle tbh
Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that a game called 'Wolfenstein' isn't about a hybrid wolf and Frankenstein monster?
The 2nd most honest review I’ve found on the entire UA-cam platform for this game, am I one of three who thinks the king has no clothes, or is every one blind to wolfinstein.
Elisha Jones whoa. Haven't seen any reference that idiom like... Ever lol
You may be one of the few people who think the emperor is naked, because you aren't giving him enough attention to realize he's just wearing a sweet, skin-colored track suit.
"Honest review" because it contains opinions you agree with. If he said it was the best game ever it'd be dishonest?
If you go to yahtzee for honest reviews, you'll play like 3 games in your life. The man hates everything, this is a good game so regardless what this british twat says, like Mcdonalds. Im loving it :)
Elisha Jones You can enjoy something even won't its flaws. I really loved it. It was an experience I really liked and enjoyed I went through.
Yahtzee never ceases to amaze me
I can see all of ur point, still lowed this game :)
Sebastian Holsen And that's the right spirit. If you read between the lines, it's also not that hard to see that he thought it was okay, just a victim to his general high standards for sequels of things he likes and general sequelitis (aka: “why a new game if there is not much bew to it?“). I don't know why exactly he did not like the story but why he then likes New Order, but oh well, maybe it just didn't get to him somehow. Can definitely see the complaints on gameplay, though.
Of course it’s not as good as New Order, but that game had the shock value of being the game I didn’t know I wished for. The Venus stuff weren’t remotely as cool as the Moon stuff, but I can’t wait for the DLC to be released :D
2:24 Only time I have ever seen Yahtzee put that much detail in a face without simply just grabbing a photo and cropping it into the video.
The New Order is still miles better in all respects. The segments with BJ’s dad are some of the worst, most forced dramatic moments I’ve ever seen in a video game, and I’ve seen all of David Cage’s fucking fiascos.
???
Yeah, the scenes with BJ’s dad just made BJ himself less relatable imo. It turned BJ from an average American patriot who fought dispite the advantages he’d have in a nazi-run world to just another oppressed minority with serious daddy issues.
It also came out of the blue. In TNO, there's an underwater section with monologues from BJ's thoughts, and he brings up his dad a couple of times, and doesn't seem particularly bitter about him. Besides that, we've seen characters like Rip before, in so many other forms of media, he's a walking cliche.
Why are you trying to justify poor writing in a game, and make it sound realistic, when it is so purposefully unrealistic?
Okay kid, stay angry.
_where the Hell is my Commander Keen remake, Bethesda?!_
I actually thought Venus was handled way better than the moon, when i got to the moon, i was excited for lots of low G combat and get very little of it. In Venus, i actually had to factor in the combat environment. Not getting to kill or otherwise ruin Hitler's day was a turn off though, and if the series doesnt finish up with him in a Mech suit now, i am throwing wolfenstein into the big trash bin with the rest of the games id has made in the past decade.
errr...... I hate to tell you but...
1:37 what moment is he talking about?
Spoiler warning, even if the game is several years old:
Presumably he meant when BJ gets publically decapitated but his friends manage to reattach his head to a machine in time to save him
Yeah the gameplay was really bad. You unfairly died very quickly in this game because they decided to make it like Doom but poor and your health is vacuumed because of unfair enemy placement
4:10 omg Cahtzee so cute
I loved that Hillary was the Nazi main character
That point on the robot suits... I feel like the escalation of the robot suits might be to make them something that looks like Lovecraft puked it up between books, and left it in the folder labelled "probably too silly". Like... I don't know, a two headed robot centaur suit with 4 robot tentacles taken from the doctor Octavius school of robotics. Its dumb, but its an escalation that isn't just "its bigger". Side note: size escalation has been done a lot better in a certain anime I've already watched... They made a super galactic sized mecha that even looked like a galaxy, and promptly caused the singularity.
Yes, yes, _HOWEVER..._
Anya is cute and delightful and wonderful and I want to protect her smile. All of your criticism is invalid.
There were so many points in the final level where I wanted to yell, “what the fuck are you doing? Protect the adorable pregnant polish woman and don’t bring her to a battlefield!”
So I’ll give machine games this: they made me care.
@@themoleman6806
And had her shooting them shirtless and pregnant and covered in blood, firing guns. This is probably the worst scenario for a pregnant woman to be in.
@@VGamingJunkieVT ooh i hated that scene. I was basically screaming "excuSE ME WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS"
What made me laugh hardest out of anything in this very funny review was the mental image of a man getting his entire body pushed through a cattle grid. What makes that happen in a human brain?
I had/am having a fucking blast with New Colossus. Lots of great writing, and I play it the same way I play Deus Ex - stealth it up until I cock it up, and then we see if I can shoot my way out. It's like a mash-up of Call of Duty games by a dev team that just wants to enjoy its job.
Don't be mad at BJ going to Venus, Yahtzee...he just wanted to go into space.
Spoilers! I couldn't take this game seriously at all. the fucking tone is all over the place and the dialogue is cringey as all hell. One moment BJ is getting beaten by his abusive father, the next he is surviving decapitation and fart jokes. I had no idea what the fuck they were even going for in terms of story which wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't such a huge focus on it at the expense of the gameplay.
BUUUURRRN! A stupid sheep as opposed to what? A clever sheep?
I suppose you can then?
Joshua Quintero I agree completely. The game was a mess from start to finish and I was thoroughly confused by the wild shifts in tone. At first it seems like you're going to need to take it so seriously, with Frau Engel being so vicious and unpredictable and William's severe injuries and imminent death, but then you have a conversation about ball sacks with a breastfeeding woman and you're fucking off to Venus where a drunk Hitler pisses in a bucket. And the whole "surprise, new body!" thing completely eliminated the somber bedrock the game had been building itself on. The moment when a shirtless, heavily pregnant woman machined gunned a bunch of guys while smiling maniacally and bathing herself in blood was one of the greatest heights of what-the-fuckery I've ever seen in a game. It wasn't sexy. It wasn't empowering. It wasn't some profound statement on breaking norms. It was just weird, creepy, and wildly irresponsible. What were these people smoking?
"Anyone I don't like is a mind sheep and should like what I like without question"
-Kanashe
Quick skim through the other comments and you'll see how spot on you are.
0:20 Wait, where's the perfectly deadpan Rick Astley lookalike face Yahtzee always uses? Who's the hedgehog-headed kid who is totally cracking a tiny smirk in that photo? I demand answers, Yahtzee!
This was posted on facebook quite some time ago.
Grave Flower You're probably thinking of New Order. There hasn't been a ZP episode posted to Facebook for months.
November 17th, this was posted to facebook. The new colossus, not the new order.
Grave Flower I need a link because the last I saw on there was The Surge after they'd had technical difficulties. This is on the official Zero Punctuation page.
facebook.com/EscapistMag/videos/10155916415174591/
I could hear Yahtzhee running out of breath on this one. Usually the way he edits it is less obvious but I guess this time round he was having some trouble.
Ben Nazi Crowshaw
Ben Nazi Hakenkreuzshaw
happily
Jagermeister and peppermint schnapps sounds like a good breakfast.
OTOH It is SP focused and has not shitty MTX's or gambling - so buy two copies for yourself and one for each friend you have (real or imagined) & DO NOT buy other games that do (*cough* EA (cough*).
Why should I waste money on a short as fuck game?
That's not good enough; the game itself has to be good as well.
Quote Totalbiscuit on twitter Nov.19th 2017:
All the leaves are brown (leeeavess are brrowwnn)
And the sky is.. brown (sky is brown)
Nazis also brown (actually yellow)
But all other stuff is brown (yes its brown!)
Wolfenstein dreamin'
My thoughts exactly.
Strange that you didn't mension the chores you have to go through to get the 100% completition mark.
-Find Gold collectibles
-Find Max's collectibles toys (lol rlly? find goddamn toys?)
-Kill slightly tougher nazi officer with a kampfpistole after finding them (by killing standard nazi officers and going through the most boring minigame in videogame's history to decipher enigma codes)
That's what you go through for wanting to be a completionist. Also, what about the Steam achievements? You need to beat the game on Mein Leben with just 1 life. Good luck with that.
Can you review Okami? It is getting re-released on December 12th.
This being youtube, I was expecting the comments section to be filled with edgy kek memers insulted by the game's negetive portrayel of nazis. Good to see Yahtzee's audience is somewhat clued up about that bullshit.
I can only imagine his hairdresser's not lacking for terrible puns, either. That section didn't so much jump the shark as it did Pole-vault the Manatee, but I guess its nice to see id games not taking themselves seriously again
Looks like a contender on Yahtzee's 2017 list of bland games.
"...and where the environment has more food and health items lying around than a church harvest festival after a staggeringly successful guilt trip...."
worst comment section ever
Is this the first one you've seen?
Thanks kanashe
Alex Marko the comments are full of natzis who only hate the game because there killing there idols.
Good to see B(low) J(ob) Blazowits doing what he does best.
No limerick leaves me at a loss.
A gimmick? Sure, who gives a toss?
Ironic it is,
same notes this hits,
a rhyming game, yet you are not.
very glad I waited till I beat the game to watch this video cause Yahtzee really hammered in all the parts of the game I was on the fense about.
W H I T E A S S N A Z I S C U M
Calling it for the next game you have to beat Hitler in a giant robot suit at a game of chess.
Are....are...you my Dad?
I wonder if he'll ever review Elex. I hope he does, it would be gold !
So, just play the vastly superior Wolfenstein The New Order and The Old Blood instead? Wait for Wolfenstein The New Colossus to go into deep sale as it fails to sell at $65? Got it m8.
Wolfenstien 2 "Eugh" the new collossus
Well, the alt-Right were pissed off by this game, and that's all the reason I need to play it
Nobody cared. That's the thing, this game was awful and they tried to start a controversy to move stock. By attempting to piss off an entirely non-existent demographic of imaginary Nazis. So nobody cared.
It actually sacrificed it's own narrative and gameplay for the sake of "pissing off the alt-right." It goes on and on about "the american people rising up" but the only people fighting are anarchists and communists both ideologies that are unpopular with actual americans.
If this game wanted anything resembling a uniting theme it would have featured a republican and a democrat joining the team, picking fights but ultimately working together. But that doesn't happen leftists are getting increasingly sociopathic in their own delusions. In ten years literally everyone, including the people that like it, will conclude New Collousus was a mistake.
The Marketing Team really stoked the flames, to be honest. They directly referenced Trump, like they were trying to start shit and comparing Trump to the Nazis. Because that old line hasn't become worn out even before he got sworn in.
The stealth is kept because that’s how the series started out as.