Why You Let The Narcissist in your Life And The True Dynamic Between Them and Codependents!!
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- This interview will leave you speechless!
Do you find yourself repeating the same patterns in relationships?
Do you see a pattern in your love life and continue to attract toxic people?
Do you fall for the charm and have you given them too much of your time and life?
Do you have a narcissistic parent?
There is a truth that nobody tells us and we NEED to understand this in order to break the cycle. Here in this video I interview Richard Grannon and we discuss WHY we end up in these relationships and the real dynamics between Narcissists and Codependents.
Guest: Richard Grannon
Host: Naila Nazer
IG: @untempered_podcast
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What I heard from Jordan Peterson once, has stuck with me. He said that to really grow, is to look at your parents, as if they were someone else's parents. When I look at my parents, it helps to see them in totality and at a 10 thousand feet high distance. They were all those things with the whole world. Their capacity to be inhuman, had nothing to do with me. It is very freeing. Of course, it helps that they passed away. We grieve what we never had.
Wow thank you for that perspectiv that hit me. I send healing to your griving prosess.❤ Yes and be who you wish you had when you where a kid to your self.❤
They never looked at their own parents and you paid that price. Cycle of generational dysfunction.
Thank you for sharing.
Peterson is a classic Malignant Narcissist.
He is willing to use his influence to support MAGA for narcissistic supply.
But you can’t blame them you have to forgive them.
If you start seeing red flags of something that just doesn't feel right about someone you need to start holding back a little bit and putting them in the acquaintance zone and don't let them so close to you that's how you protect yourself from a narcissist
This comment is great
Spot on - I saw many red flags and followed them
They test us, and we don’t have or hold boundaries. They tell us things and we think we can fix them, we need to fix them so we will get better. BUT we don’t!
We must heal and look at us completely and then we will be able to not only see it but resist it.
I like that Richard says: Don’t sleep with them if you are only dating…. Good one! 👌🏽its the perfect way to not give anyone power over u. Our bodies are sacred. No one should have easy access to our sexuality specially if u don’t know them.
This is what I do. Best is to get to know someone well first. Feels good and right and safe
Love bombing also implies there was love when in fact there was only ever bombing! -Sam Vaknin
Sam is the real expert in this subject
These two are bonding through similar trauma and that's where sympathy and empathy live. Thank you for such a heartfelt and honest discussion
The lady talking, talking to this man, seems like she has some similarities to her own parents. It’s important not to repeat one’s own parents’ patterns. It’s sad when our parents don’t change. We can’t change who our parents are, but, we can choose not to be like them ourselves. Once we get healed and whole, we no longer need to be afraid to be in their lives, and bound to cut them off from your/our lives, not continue acting, and talking like we’re still victims, their victims. We don’t have to cut off our parents, if we’ve become healed, and whole ourselves; that’s when we look at them with love pity, and respect, but, at arm’s length ❤️
@@jeanie5074 Life is short. And if a person-be it a parent or not-ruins it, undermines your self esteem, takes away your strength, time, money, emotions-leave his person. Give yourself your space and this person a chance to have healthy life, don't waste your time. That's how I think.
To me you can tell a narcissist because there's not really a person inside of there to connect with it feels like you're just grasping at straws to have a basic get to know you conversation a lot of the time. It feels like there's no one home inside of them. They talk about their special interests or about things that will boost their ego and they can't hold a basic conversation about how are you how's work what have you been up to what's been going on etc etc.. you'll see them constantly belittling other people based on mutable characteristics and snap judgments...
This is very true I dealt with 2 and had a situation with each of them that let me know that no one was actually home at all. They really are emotionally hollow. So now thinking back on it, you have to sa to yourself.How can you expect someone like that to love you?If they don't even love themselves enough to connect to themselves they can't connect to you.
You hit the nail on the head Richard...the unconcious is playing a huge roll.
saying don't have sex is not about being a priest, it's about safeguarding your mental and psychological health. If you even want it. You're right Richard, it is powerful magic. Given away for cents. The lady didn't get it. She said, "we believe there is a connections when there isn't". The reality is the opposite, that is, "there IS a connection when people pretend there isn't". I think the lady missed the point.
This was such a good interview, it’s nice to see Richard being interviewed and with such good questions from the interviewer
no. every situation is different. most of us see the sweet side of these people and hope for them to change and stay sweet. because that's what WE would do.
we don't need or want to be mistreated. signed someone who left narcissistic abuse and already healed
Can’t be a victim all your life. That’s another form of narcissism 😂
Im not so sure you understand the dynamic at play when a narcissist is involved. It takes two to tango. The “want” to be mistreated is subconscious. It’s not your actual desire. Just like how the narcissist is wearing the mask without really knowing.
It’s a running program that takes the reflecting on the failed or failing relationships to begin to understand how to reprogram yourself. That’s barely touching it. I thought this podcast did a good job of further explaining this.
To outright say no then claim you’re healed just doesn’t look right. Sure ‘every situation is different’. But why is it that a psychiatrist can point out ways of a narcissist that are across the board, the same behaviors in different people? Because they operate the same ways. Just like codependents behave the same ways.
@@mysticalmisfit33 WANTING to be abused and abuse feeling FAMILIAR are two very different things. no one WANTS to be abused. people who grew up with trauma like me feel more used to the abusive types. that's why we naturally gravitate towards them.
that's the true science behind it and if you don't understand that, then you are the one who doesn't understand the dynamic. you can't tell someone who has been though narcissistic abuse that they don't understand the dynamic of narcissistic abuse.
I have lived with the dynamic! to be an armchair therapist BASED OFF OF ONE COMMENT and tell someone if they have been healed, and that they don't understand something they went though is extremely narcissistic and arrogant of you
@@mysticalmisfit33 sounds like you haven't heard of different types of narcissists. Covert narcissistic abuse is different than grandiose narcissistic abuse
@@dark3rh3art24 I don’t think you read or understand my comment at all with that response dude.
Really like Richard Grannon, first time I’ve heard of him.
He has tons of affordable instructional material on his website.
she has another video with him it’s great also !
He has a very popular channel.
At this point, I practically create them. I have found that self care is the main protection from narcs and the narcissistic spirit. It travelsand I now have to fight becoming one now it's so prevalent.
Wow. That's an amazing answer. Right before she says "Wow, that just blew my mind." This guy really knows. I love this. "If that's what the person is doing...", yeah. Turn away from those behaviors. The inner fantasy world compared to reality is so interesting. Ugh. I was stuck for a long time. I will never let summertime treat me like that again. I only talked to the guy bc I knew him for a year or two at age 15. Just kept thinking he just couldn't be as awful as it seemed. Then I had to try to figure it out. Oh, my GoOd. Richard G. is so funny! He sounds like my friend Shawn from Wales, who is so, so funny.
Was in a 45 yrs abusive narcissistic relationship , it's made me stronger ,I'm trying to move on but I have the abuser on my Facebook , I brought up two step children which is our only connection. She's been maliciously smear campaigning as I talk with others , her mission is to destroy and isolate myself which I did myself anyway ,it makes me more determined to move on and live what's left of my life in peace and some sort of normality , God Bless guys stay strong Love and Light .🙏☺️❤️💞💯
I truly enjoyed your interview with Richard. I have followed him for years, and benefitted from completing quite a few of his courses. You have a lovely, sweet and authentic style. This was 'therapy' for me as well, so thank you. ❤
They can seem really fun and loving at first but eventually The mask will slip and you'll see that they are the most empty miserable people you have ever met.
Don’t let him fool you. You can’t be love and not love. We have to love because we are love. So we need to find ourselves in the frame of a divine being. You will have to learn to love. Until then we are still struggling. Learning to love others without becoming vulnerable to them is the key. You cannot govern away who you are to make someone feel better and love at the same time.
You are both lovely people. That was the sweetest hour-long conversation on Narcissism I have ever watched.
Great interview! There are a lot of dynamics to play out in your mind while dealing with a narcissist, but they all derive from one basic truth, we were not true to ourselves first of all.
I guess that's the whole point, 😀 to know thyself and to stay true to it.
I learn't alot from this and I relate to the feeling of feeling worse as I am getting better.
Good good good questions here!! Fully relate. Finally some others who have not been love-bombed. Subscribed, thank you❤
Beautiful interview. Really great.
I don’t know if those who stay are unhealthy. A lot of times you’re in your 20s whereas you do not have enough experiences to know what is right or wrong. This is why older narcissist (like Pdiddy) go after 19 year olds. This is why redpillers say that women are mailable young. All young people are impressionable and do not know through experience what is healthy. Most people find it hard to leave relationships and that’s probably because they really fear aloneness.
Redpillers have a lot of psychopathic and narcissistic traits. Their ideology is bordeline psychopathy.
Are we "blind" for real or is it that we don't want to see what is real? Because every time when something was unhealthy... down, very deep inside was a feeling, but every time as well was the thought that ït can t be so".... I'm in recovery for some years, but i'm feeling lost and also this question is always on my mind. Until what point was our responsibility? I was raised by a narcissistic grandmother ( and an absent narcissistic father) and also have two long relationships with this type of people (romantic). I don t know why is so important to know the answer at this question, or maybe i know.... it s hard for me to make peace with me, who wanted or stayed in those relationships, or think what i could not make it without or that part of me who was so afraid ... so hard to accept . Thank you
I think they brainwashed our brain that we will not acchieve anything without them. And we believed that because of low selfesteem. Now , when you do try and see that you indeed can accomplish things alone : 1. your selfesteem grows . 2. you become less interesting for the narcs. Forgiveness need some time. I know the feeling of being like paralized of the thought of leaving . You can try some mirror work , it does not Matter If you believe it or not: " i Love myself, i respekt myself , therefore i forgive myself" .
Somatic work might help, the body need to release emotions as well. Walking in nature is good for the nervous system. Now it is worse than ever before because the pain is coming to the surface. Listen to Gabor Matè. Read Eckhart Tolle...Ciao
'Sexually incontinent.'
What a phrase
This is so true I have never looked at it this way!!!! How are we supposed to heal from all of this craziness???😊
Richard Grannon rocks 🎉🎉🎉
The latest narcissist I encountered was also a psychopath, so in this case they could 'tell' I had codepency wounds, and *intentionally* used that against me strategically. But I'd probably attribute that more to the psychopath side than the narcissist, they saw me as competition and literally wanted to take me out. I grew up with a narcissistic friend who was far more 'autopilot'. I also think there actually isn't true equivalence between narcissists and codependents. Narcissists are stunted developmentally pretty much in totality, whereas codependents usually grow up in some sense despite not 'integrating' the wounds where parts of them haven't moved beyond the trauma. So there is actually a 'wounded authentic self' or in my case 'a split authentic self' with codependents which is why they can heal and can still have such wounds while being very self-aware, whereas narcissists never developed *any* sense of self, so they are truly hollow on the inside. Also, I've found narcissists love this idea that there is an equivalence between them and their victims, which is not true morally if not in any other way, but this is the way I think factually there isn't actually an equivalence, despite there definitely being 'two sides to maintaining the dynamic.' So this is the way I tend to frame it (which I think is true) which makes clear there's a difference, without making a factual or moral equivalence (which is how this can be perceived as victim blaming), whilst still acknowledging what needs to be acknowledged to heal.
Great response.
Excellent pod cast…more of this
I had a narcissist girlfriend, I let her go. My rule: no more dating democrats.
Excellent conversation!
Maybe the co-dependent doesnt feel like they deserve any better...at least in my own relationships.
idealization rather than love bombing, true
that's right, it's not victim blaming, it's just holding people accountable
Watch how they treat the waiter .....
Thats my storry with mum omg .It's fight of titans .
How funny just ran a cold bath while listening to this podcast 👍
If only we could turn it into a real tour that encompasses fitness as part of the day
Because our children now trigger another layer to work on 😮😅
Richard is super funny 😀😀
Then they lead you to the slaugtherhouse.So accurate.,
You two have really nice chemistry. Super cute ❤
Thank you for the great info. Sending you both unlimited blessings. ❣️
Wait wait wait… Grannon speaks Spanish?! Whatttt 😅
Second, u can have a superego without an ego? Is that perhaps just an introject? An adopted voice that’s not your own?
Third, I actually very much disagree with the repeated solution of “go to therapy.” Having went through 4 degrees in psychology, a doc program, and saw a few therapists while I was in school, I can say that MAYBE 1 out of 1,000 therapists really have any clue what Narcissism is, let alone how to treat it or its etiology. Reason being is because the DSM-5 hardly does it justice and doesn’t even touch on etiology. There is hope. I got through it by watching what feels like thousands of hours of videos on narcissism AND by never falling into the trap of being a “victim.” You’re not a victim, take ownership of where you went wrong, never stop working on the best version of yourself, show yourself grace, strive to be better.
I have a family member, and at 51, I finally realized that person is a covert narcissist. Can one have a real relationship?
You need the peace of Jesus, he did say he has a peace to give mankind. He understands and loves you and is the doctor for our souls.
Not everyone can afford therapy… Espoo e who is a specialist in Narcissist
I wasn't love bombed
Who’s behind the mask?…. Usually a traumatized 3-8yo. If someone breaks the narcissist get them a sucker bc that kid will be crying
im so tired of the "its an overused word" trope, we realize that is what uneducated grifters say who dont care right? It's a societal epidemic we are raising kids to be narcs
Grannon is one..... funny eh....obsession with narcissism is for people with deeply unresolved issues..... creating a hysteria. Authentic people are not bothered by such people. So watching narcissistic types discuss narcissism as if it's everywhere is a demonstration of the dual issues. It warps the perception of such issues far more than is necessary. Amateurs. Grannon is a bouncer who doesn't like standing in the rain chucking out drunks....so a platform and creating hysteria serves him well, but only adds to the overwhelm of unhealthy societal paranoia and mental health distortions.
Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? If so, how did you respond?
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
"We have to make laws to keep men from having sex with corpses and goats. Don't think that sex is love."
Omg, I'm dead. 😂😂😂
It's true. There's your proof. God bless you Richard. You are so funny and so right.
He's also dead AF right about Codependents needing supply. That's not Victim Blaming. It's calling out Codependents and asking them to be accountable. I used to be a very manipulative Codependent. He is not wrong. My parents are very narcissistic. I played out that cycle of begging to be ignored, abused, and then love-bombed.
1:19
"We have to make laws to keep men from having sex with corpses and goats. Don't think that sex is love." That one got me as well!! LOL, Funny, not funny.. but TRUE. I always said women didn't invent the glory hole, but this one is even better.
For those of us who grew up with narc parents, life is excruciating, healing is even harder.
Glad to see you Mr. Grannon on a different podcast.
very true. Thank you for sharing and it really is so true
@@UntemperedPodcast You're welcome.
Wow!
Please do this again with Richard Grannon. The dynamic that you two create is very interesting. Like reading a book I can't put down!
You ask Excellent questions and he delivers!
I've been Following Richard for several years... I've watched him go through some hard times through his videos... he has always come back Better, if that is even possible! He has helped so many of us and as he is transitioning and learning & sharing more about himself in his therapy, I am Loving him all the more. He has a Good Mind and a Conscientious Spirit! A Man of True Excellence....
Yes I always hope to have him back! Thank you for your comment 😊
Simple questions to ask yourself about the relationship…
“is this person consistently transgressing my boundaries, for no valid reason?”
“Is this person consistently doing things, that I can say are cruel?”
“Is this person consistently lying?”
“Am I seeing love and validation here or not?”
Wow!
Spot on 👍
I don't know = denial.
Is this person consistently doing things, that I can say are cruel?” this thought brought me to the internet and found richard then dr ramani last January, hey opened the door for me i had no idea what narcissism i'm in no contact phase with her, i will be forever greatful
They love to bait. They love to confuse you with word salad then say you’re dumb for not understanding. Every attempt at getting them to talk about their bad behavior follows the same predictable pattern.
If I ever split from my hubby I'm just going to be single for life. Just get a dog people
I think I got involved with narcissists so that id be forced into single life, and it's wonderful. Why? because there is peace, serenity and deep love for myself
That’s exactly what I did! 9 yrs now. Went on a few dates but after the 2 nd date I can see right through them. No thanks!! It’s too bad, I have allot of love in my heart but cannot get trapped again.
That is a trauma response and a failed life. Let me decode your words.
“I was not ready to get in a relationship, but I did. I was not looking for the right partner with a logical mind, instead I selected a mate based on lust and emotions. I just like every other women am attracted to dark triad men and are repulsed by good men, so I selected a bad and toxic men. My fake girlfriends supported my actions, because they are not true friends and they wanted to see me fail so they sabotaged me wherever they could. Instead of restarting my life, I stayed with a toxic men and with my fake friends. Now instead of being a leader I am still a follower and instead of being proactive, all I do is waiting. Once I am old and worthless, my husband will be gone and instead of growing and healing I choose to stay the same and I will die without ever experiencing true love on the side of a good man. Not just that, but I will be toxic as well and sabotage other women and I will tell them to buy dogs over selecting good men.”
@@roberth4395 jeez. That is very shallow and possibly worngly assuming and judging someone from own filter unhelpful and narcisistic comment
Have dogs. And my dogs are far from a silent treatment 😉😉😎
as a therapist i find this conversation around looking at the responsibility of the "' victim" very important. These are relationnal dances and we each play a role. Seeking to understand and find our responsibiity is a way to re-empower ourselves on the path of true change and healing. Thank you for this
this was great. I've been following Richard for years, and sometimes I think him being interview brings out some next level stuff!
Agree
No Richard, don’t hold back, tell it like it is… His no-fuckin-around approach is as reassuring as it is time-saving
Really great interview! The splitting mechanism in victim's mind explains a lot! Thanks to both of you, guys! 😊
This is so true having a narc mum I went into narc relationships as I was addicted to the chemistry I saw it at home it felt normal . Now I know gone no contact with my mum who gave me an anxiety disorder dumped my narsissist boyfriend who died a couple of years ago and will never allow another person to disrespect me again I see the pattern now and recognise the red flags I am now setting healthy boundaries for myself through therapy and working on my own narsissitic traits that I inherited and learning how to regulate my own emotions .
❤
What if we idealize the real? You are correct Richard Grannon. We idealize each other and we idealize the image we imagined that person to be. People are so funny. True npd's are quite damaging to those they "love". All of us humans value and desire love so much yet deny that we are ever seeking it. Love is really the only purpose of life in my humble opinion. Is enlightenment not a form of love? What is a higher purpose? People have fallen victim to the idea that love equates happiness. It does not. Some of the greatest examples of love are sacrificial. Is that the true issue with this epidemic of narcissism, political and moral divide, and blurred boundaries? Do we value our own individual autonomy more than sacrificial love? Is this what our societies are truly struggling with? Maybe. Love, with all of its ensuing sacrifice, is no longer valued as an ideal. Truth went first but everyone was distracted by MTV and reality television and didn't notice. I have often felt that those of us living now were born on a precipice in history. The edge is rapidly approaching.
This should be made known to the rest of the world!! Absolutely educational
Eroding your critical thinking skills...omg!!
Yes, it is idealization for sure. Not love bombing. That’s why you keep excusing these bad behaviors.
I stayed becouse I was fighting .When I look back I was fighting for my minde .
Deep inside my soul, I have always felt but never wanted to admit that, I was actually getting supply from the Narc as well, no matter how horrible she would treat me. After this interview, now I can accept my own reality. I knew the game was rigged, but ignored the inevitable outcome!
Knowing your role in the game means that you can take your power back and never play again
@@yzma6142 Absolutely! Thank you!
I think two words are missing from this whole analysis and those words are ... NAIVETY and TRUST. No, we didnt all 'know' what we were getting into. Not on ANY level. Victims of narcissist abuse aren't looking for a narcissist to make theirlife hell so they can learn lessons... they're looking for a relationship based on mutual trust, affection and respect ... and that's exactly what the narcissist APPEARS to offer them at first. And that's because the narcissist ISN'T naive, ISN'T trusting, plays their cards very close to their chest and has an AGENDA from the start. Their agenda is ... what does this person have that I can exploit them for and gain for myself ... then it's now I've got what i want out of them how can I get rid of them and take the lot? Narcissists only concern is about winning. They'll play the longest game and the dirtiest game and that's why we call them 'players'.
A lot of great points here!
From what I understand from Hawkins and Rosenberg is that there’s a scale with codependency on one end and narcissism on the other. The general goal is to be in the middle…
For me that’s building myself up, being my own savior, building my own kingdom, in order to heal and be balanced enough to be open to allowing a healthy relationship.
I need to forge a healthy relationship with me first.
Richard is a brilliant guest
I realized i had to deprogram from my childhood programming 😮😢😂😅
I honestly have always attracted narcissists or various levels of men with those traits.But after having a romantic connection with a full-blown one..it eventually opened a Pandora's box of childhood wounds that made me realise thats what my father was .It gave me many insights, but it was traumatising.
Yes, narcissists disable our defenses or if you are raised that way you are trained to never resist and to accept all their bullshit. We appreciate your style Richard. It is necessary. Good for you in not allowing yourself to get hijacked into another direction just because that's what is trending in that field. It's better for business and also being effective to be authentically yourself with your actual life experience that you know directly than to get on the bandwagon with a bunch of stuff that clearly isn't working and you know that. That's actually part of it, we are trained to silence our true vision and get on board with a group of any sort believing that's smarter but it seriously isn't. That's not actually wisdom. Wisdom is earned. We have to be able to distinguish that but I think the truth always resonates so even if a person moves past that into the habits that bit of truth is permanently burned into memory - it's not a decision. A lot of therapists are motivated primarily by money and so that's contaminated. Some parent don't value their children honestly so rather than set a fence around them they will invite everyone they know to join in their abusive devaluation and think they're amazing parents while doing it. I like the term glove for that type of total exploitation. I also like Achilles for that - the Narcissistic power of your mother. Nice work you both. 💫
I recognise that i have a definite addiction to the roller coaster of emotions of abuse. As horrible as it feels at the time. I have strong impulses to fix things and to put things right.
I feel like I'm in no man's land. As I'm working through my trauma I now don't know who I am, what I'm supposed to do, how I'm supposed to be. Everything I thought I was is not who I am, so now what?
I’ve lost confidence and trust in everyone. Ironically, at the end she said she gained trust in people. She became so cold. She projected, Triangulated, was controlling. I had to say goodbye for good.
Its madness how we let them in and make excuses for their bad behaviours ...... covid lock down kinda saved me as he was furloughed i wasn't (thankfully) he got amazingly worse (as i didnt think it could of) its been 4 year's free from that relationship to that date, been single for that long an quite happy about it as im still healing (shockingly) and by they way your right ive blocked quite alot out of what he said as my friends have asked things and i just cant remember, is that a coping mechanism?xx
I have dissociated. I told my therapist I see my husband as 2 people. That is why I can’t let go. He has moved out per my request, divorce done, and I’m still seeing him and taking to him every day. When I try to let go I panic and feel like I am going to die. I am in CODA. Hoping it will help. I could really use some help 🙏🏻. I got very sick from our relationship. Low blood pressure, Vaso vagal syncope, digestive tract no longer moves waste. I am 41 and go to the gym everyday and take good care of myself.
I love the therapy chat. I've been in consistent therapy for 4yrs. I've also had 3 different therapists. I've done EMDR, normal therapy and now transpersonal therapy. I've cut so many friends out of my life, realised the extent of narcassistic abuse from both parents but feel so lonely and I've felt like my life has fallen apart. I honestly don't know if doing it had been good for me or not and feel kind of codependent with it now. Wondering if I should let go and live my life again!! I have felt so isolated and confused by it all or is this normal?! 😢
This was a heavy one, but it’s made me more curious of myself & experience, which I sincerely appreciate. 🙏🏽
Amazing talk!! Thank you both so much!❤️🥰👍🙏🙌🤗
OMG this exactly 23:50 all together good and I turn out to be the bad person. I am holding onto them being the bad person this time. I have attracted 4 more after having my father narcissist.
How can you live with a woman who cant handle critics or cant sit down talk about family problems, or cant argue or you have to watch out how you say things otherwie she runs to yell and cry on the whole planet how bad is the husband depicting a total different reality....running away like a little child from responsibility who you have control all the time...
"hunger for the resolution or replication" of abuse, good way of putting it. This is what needs to be diverted away from and realizing that we can't get blood from a stone. We can't get feelings from someone who doesn't have them. I love the way RG has matured
I mean his powers of understanding. Physically he hasn't aged a bit, lol, honestly
Sex does not gonna solve anything, the everyday life will be a fucked one with her or him all the time
Brilliant talk very informative thank you ❤
The Devine is spectacular, amazing, beautiful. Catholicism is one of the worst things that happened to me in my life, and I wish my lovely family wouldn't even bother with organized religion. Great day, evening or night!
We have to recognize when these conversations take place, that the “we” used in reference to us and others is a misnomer. “We” is “me”, but the real part of me gets ignored and our frequency dips. Then the part of us that is operating in ignorance comes back out. So when we refer to ourselves as “we”, I feel it would be beneficial to know when we have slipped from our authentic self and back to a vibration we have a privy for. We do not need regular therapy, we need to learn how to keep our own map of reality based on universal laws and not human laws. No therapist is going to trick your mind and make you better. They need to guide you back to yourself, or the therapy is dangerous.
Splitting is what causes the cognitive dissonance!!!! I understand now! 🙏🏼😔
I met him 😁at work...he was all smiles until I saw😆 ugly side and boy did that continue for years until he passed away
This is so true I have never looked at it this way!!!! How are we supposed to heal from all of this craziness???
Very poignant to listen to you guys discuss/ explore your sense of self. Am I even here ? Good question.
So nice to see Richard
Good interview!
Naila, hearing it from your side really helped! Y'all really co-mingled well. Thanks y'all 😅
I waited almost 6 months getting to know my toxic x partner before we had sex. I thought that meant a genuine commitment from each of us, but because of the investment in the relationship before we got serious, breaking the trama bond post relationship was horrific. Now well on the healing path 🙏🏼😊. As you said at some level you do know. For me it was the shared idealisation that drew me in, and the guilt of abandoning them and therefore myself that kept me stuck. In reality you abandoned yourself when you entered the shared fantasy. A good psychologist , a cupboard full of tissue boxes ( lol) and one or two good friends and a lot of hard work on my behalf got me to the other side. Learnt so much, so grateful, but please never again !!!
the ‘codependent supply’ is real- i haven’t heard anyone admit it . the way i refer to it is. the codependent will give as long as their own emotional addictions are being met. notice that the ‘empath(codependent ‘ never complains until their addictions are no longer being met.
also, it’s absurd people call themselves ‘empaths’ but can’t sense that ‘love bombing’ is manipulating until they themselves start to devalue the ‘narcissist’
if both are idealizing, then devaluing, then discarding it’s part of the same trauma cycle. How can you say ‘love bombing’ is manipulating when it’s what happens when you idealize someone.. on both sides.
if we’re talking about psychopathic manipulation i think that would be different.
I have seen many many videos and podcasts, listened to dr Ramani and Richard Grhanon, Crappy childhood fairy and many others... but this podcast was the best i have ever came across. Now im actually intrigued and curious about Richards lectures. Thank you. 🎉
Tool kits, road maps, etc. Yes, some of us need this, more than being treated as Napoleon B accepted.