Loathsome Lockdown not really.. Even though we know now what happens in hotels after watching if hotel ads were honest, staying at a hotel is inevitable
Jagan Joseph, consider this: the videos have advertisements on them. Any time one of those ads pays out, an advertiser has "lost" money in that they just paid for the ad time.
That nurse is IGNORANT. The wrong food, and exercise, are _appetite stimulants._ Ironically, Roger says in another one of these, that eating the wrong kind of food, causes you to eat three times as much of it. But here he says nothing about that.
@@jacobmcdorman5552I was going to adamantly defend my profession and state that we maintain lower weights than the rest of the population… But just looked it up and our collective average BMI is 27.58, kg/m2. Damnit ☹️
I've lost 40 lbs in the last six months. No fancy diets. Just eating balanced meals and working out regularly. It's not about dieting. It's about balance and changing the way you look at food and your body. Food isn't evil.
Vegans seem to have unhealthy relationships with food. I mean 30 bananas a day? Are you serious? That's way too much sugar and of course you're losing weight because you're starving.
@@leonardopessanha5128 Hey, don't disrespect the Institute of Imagination's Ass. Almost all of today's great "thinkers" graduated from there. That must mean that it's great!
Do: If Horton’s honest ads were honest. “Hi, I’m here to discredit some product so you can have a negative yet authentic view of consumerism and Capitalism and make you feel like you’re manipulated by advertisements, because you are.”
@Hippie Style uh no, they’re literally designed to manipulate you. There’s entire fields of work and study specifically about how to increase consumer consumption using advertising and PR.
I lost 40 pounds! How? I watched diabetes slowly kill my grandparents and mother. I watched them go blind, crazy, and have limb after limb removed until they begged for death. I decided that wasn't going to be me.
what the shit kind of super diabetes did both your grandparents and mother have? sounds like type 1 which is genetic if I'm not mistaken. My dad has type 2 and had it for 31 years now and his limbs are still intact. Sure, he's not entirely healthy but to go from that to having several limbs removed is just....wow
Zituletz it was type 2 and they ignored it their conditions. My grandfather lost both his legs, grandmother went blind and died of dimensia, mother went blind and died while having a leg removed.
JCpennies once tried the honest approach, were upfront about their prices, stopped using the SALE!!!! gimmick, and treated the customer like an intelligent human being they nearly went Bankrupt for it, for doing the right thing, because all the customer wanted was to get a new pair of pants while it was on "sale"
No. Because diseases cause both weight gain and weight loss. It's just as stupid to blame someone with an undiagnosed pituitary tumor for for being too fat as it is to blame an anorexic for being too thin. The only difference is most doctors don't care enough to bother to investigate what is making the fat person sick. They just maybe hand out a somewhat more "sensible" diet that doesn't work any better than the fads.
@@robinlillian9471 clearly he's not talking about people with disease. He's talking about people with poor dietary habits and the fake promises these diets hold.
Hurts how little people know about anything and companies will find something to profit off their ignorance, while the education system doesn't make them much more smart either
I know this was meant to be funny, but as someone who's dealing with eating disorders this kinda made me feel better. The way he mocks dieting culture makes me look at it as it is. Sometimes honestly is what we need!
I feel you My mom was a serial dieter, fell for EVERYTHING. Add in PTSD from sexual assault and its a bad mix of eating disorders. I'm diabetic, high blood pressure, chronic pain, it's difficult to lose weight to alleviate the joint pain. But I mostly graze through the day, eat some protein, some fruit. I might eat a "meal" every other day. I do use a meal replacement shake, but just to ensure I get nutrition. I'm more of a food snob. Eat little amounts of yummy food. I feel better. Def got help from free nutrition counseling from local hospital. Scuence-based.
Silly Puppy HA! More like borrowing money from the Mafia while the Mafia strong arms the local landlords into raising rent so more people have to borrow money from the Mafia.
I have laughed myself into a hysterical state. I literally had to stop watching because I was in pain from laughter. But it amazes me how accurate he is. I’ve been binging on his videos for at least an hour now
How about no meat like me? I'm a vegetarian. And you can easily substitute meat for beans and nuts (not peanuts) and you can substitute regular chocolate for dark chocolate and protein bars.
I just bought a chocolate candy shaped like the Millennium Falcon, and on the label it said, "gluten free." Yeah, 'cause chocolate has SO MUCH gluten in it! NONE.
@@theemotionalremix In fact, like you, I have substituted meat FOR gut-destroying disgusting, nasty-tasting beans and meat I have substituted FOR lethally allergenic nuts, thank you very much: like you I call myself a vegetarian because I also know how to play vocabulary games and it makes me sound very cool but I eat animals at every meal including snacks. They're so much easier to digest, I can't eat much of anything else anyway. Most vegetables are toxic when they're not gut destroying and no soaking doesn't help those conditions.
This is awesome and so true. I was trapped in an eating Disorder for many years after a diet. I finally discovered the truth about dieting, and now I am fully recovered.
As much we’d all like to see that, I don’t to see a black suburban come around and kidnap Mr Horton. He was in Nam or some other war that would make him a Vet.
There are no "sugar alternatives companies" in the sense that you're implying (ie "big sweetener"). Sugar alternatives are not patent protected and any half decent chemist can make them. They are cheap to produce and effective at such tiny doses that there's not a lot of money to be made from them. They are also perfectly safe for human consumption. Safer than sugar in most cases, when you consider that obesity is a leading cause of morbidity and mortality in developed countries, and unlike the sugar you would have consumed instead the sweeteners don't make you any fatter.
@@BigUriel But the problem is that your body does not get the sugar it expects. "Big load of sugar incoming! Start storing blood sugar!" Few minutes later: "WHERE IS IT? EMERGENCY I'M STARVING! LOW BLOOD SUGAR! EAT EAT EAT!"
@@mialon5573 studies don't validate that. At least, none I've seen when searching for it. It should be easy to replicate, have something of a dose response, and be way more that p.05 in test groups. Yet, we don't have any evidence showing that. Aka, until it's substantiated by studies replicating that claim, that's an ol wives tale.
not really, no news source can truly be reliable. the most reliable just means that you think they are lying to you less then the others, the truth is they are all lying to you equally. now i feel like the gay frogs guy from info wars.......... great *sarcastically.* i'm even reading this in his voice.........
Oh god... I remember when Proactiv was really big, even though you could get the same damn effect from any cream with benzoyl peroxide in it. They made people pay like 40$ for something they could get for 5$. lol
X is your body giving you a clue that something is not right. So instead of fixing the problem let's just use Y to lessen the X instead of actually curing it. - 90% of medical products.
Grunchy It wasn't, it actually sort of works, a little. But one of the side-effects was that it could dry out your skin pretty bad, which is arguably worse for your skin than a few zits or acne. As for the cheapo alternative, I think it was Oxy maximum. But yeah, I remember seeing somewhere that a few of the proactiv alternatives had the same success rate and effect. Even at a cheap price though, I'd look for alternatives.
we're going to steel your money via taxes and redistribute most of it to hookers and drug dealers. we will give a little to the poor but not enough to make them less dependent on the government.
Although it is important to remember the shape can be tied to health. Your waist to hip ratio is a legitimately good indicator of health, because although being overweight at all is unhealthy, regardless of where your fat stores, having an excess of abdominal fat is more unhealthy, because it is likely storing as visceral fat which will choke your organs. So like, yeah, if you're like, "Ugh, I need to lose 5 pounds this summer!" that's a problem and you're holding yourself to unrealistic expectations, but if you're 20+ lbs overweight there is likely an actual problem. It's really common for people, nowadays, to need to lose 40, 60, 80, or even over 100 lbs., and at that point it isn't just "the shape of your body," your organs and joints are severely at risk. Obviously the flip side is true, too, and if you're too thin you'll have issues, but generally speaking when people talk about diet companies, we're talking about people who are overweight or obese.
Hi, I'm Darth Horton, but you can call me Emperor Roger. And I'm going to tell you how the Dark Lords of the Sith are going to fix your ancient, crumbling bureaucracy and bring order to the Galaxy. First I'll convince you to blame the current Supreme Chancellor for everything wrong with the Republic. Probably by manipulating some gullible aliens into occupying an innocent planet for no discernible reason. Once the Chancellor is removed with a vote of no confidence, I will be installed as his replacement without any need for trifles like public support or the democratic process. THEN, through various intermediaries I will convince half of you that the Republic is evil and declaring independence is your only option, and the other half that in order to safeguard peace and unity, a vast army of clones must be formed.... But this is technically beyond the scope of the Supreme Chancellor's authority, and none of you wanna be the one responsible for suggesting we abandon democracy in favor of a military dictatorship. So I'll just find the biggest moron in the Senate to suggest it for you. And you will gladly support the idea--even if it comes from a 7 foot tall retarded duck-lizard. Once you have effectively made the Republic a Totalitarian state, ten years of bloody, exhausting galactic war will follow...a war which I will control both sides of... And when you're sufficiently beaten and demoralized, I'll end the war, outlaw democracy, and establish my regime as an Empire... And you will LOVE me for it. Oh, and while you're not looking, I'll have the Jedi assassinated by the very clone soldiers they lead into battle. Much fewer of you will be upset by this than you might think.... I'm Roger by the way... NOW KNEEL BEFORE YOUR EMPEROR!
@@wholeNwon Every doctor knows this, it is one of the most basic facts that you learn in pharmacology classes (brand-name drugs vs generic). Kickbacks are extremely wide spread. This is the primary reason why doctors prescribe brand-name drugs rather than generics.
@@ahtoshkaa Yes, every doc knows that brand name drugs are usually vastly more expensive than generics and the same brand name drugs sold elsewhere in the world are much cheaper than in the US. And Congress protects the drug rackets' massive profits. That's where the real kickback and payoffs are. If by kickbacks to docs you mean the payment of money for prescriptions written, I have never seen that in the last 48 years. And I'm intimately familiar with a large number of medical practices. However, I have asked many physicians what they think the prices of specific brand name drugs are for uninsured patients and have yet to get a response that is even close to the prices charged! Often they off by factors of 10 or more for some of these things. Even worse, some of these drugs are of very marginal value.
I could recomend Keto.. but after a good period of time your T3 and T4 are gonna be sow low that your Dr may prescribe you tyroid medication forever :D
putrifiedpuppy disemboweledkitty That is highly unlikely, everyone around me is dead, everyone outside the lead sarcophagus is dead or an irradiated mutant and even if someone did decide to adopt me - the last pen to sign the papers I've seen was in the Kamchatka Peninsula
putrifiedpuppy disemboweledkitty After I've told you about my conditions, I dread the idea of your life if you still think adopting me would be a step DOWN for me...
I have a friend that said her new diet is her replacing one of her meals with a chocolate Boost drink then a few hours later watched her scarf down a cheese with no veggies and complained how gross my salad is... I was like"Good luck with that!"
But does it come with a badge or an app? Because if it doesn't come with an a badge or an app then I'm not subscribing, because I need to be constantly coddled and told I'm a good person or my ego will devour me. Oooh, speaking of which, does it have a social media page?
IndustrialBonecraft No, but look at the three million add of healthy cool young people drinking coke! I wanna be like them! I associate that syrup-drink with refreshment instead of diabetes! Yay capitalism!
It's funny, I've been trying different diets since high school and now have just been treating my calories like a budget and had more success than anything else I've ever done. It always throws me off when people ask me what diet I'm using. It feels silly now, but I wish I had realized years ago that all I had to do was just not overeat.
Water is a chemical rather than made up of chemicals. The implication though is that chemicals are artificially made, I’d describe water as a compound.
@@jonpaulknights3460 It would be a chemical compound, yes. You just forgot that chemical is short for chemical compound, and compound is short for chemical compound.
*Eating Big mac.....* *Watches the video.....* *Spits the big mac and throws it at the garbage.....* Says: *Alright from now on I'll get into a strict diet!* Next week.... *finds an excuse to himself to eat big mac.....* Says: *I've been working hard for a week, I deserve a big mac....* *gains back the weight he lost the past week....*
"Mmmmm......chemicals."
That was funnier than expected.
I said the same eating tide pods and drinking bleach
@@SaintGuillotine You should say that whenever you're eating, cuz everything you eat are chemicals
@@huldanoren951 yeah but those are more chemical than regular food and besides it's my favorite thing to eat
@@SaintGuillotine Glucose, chemical. Proteins, chemicals. Vitamins, chemicals. Water, chemical.
@@huldanoren951 you would understand if you mastered the art of eating inedible things essentially I'm a goat
`Every time Cracked uploads an "Honest Ad" an advertiser loses money.`
`And I think that's fantastic.`
A noble cause
Loathsome Lockdown not really..
Even though we know now what happens in hotels after watching if hotel ads were honest, staying at a hotel is inevitable
***** where do you stay then when you visit other states?
Jagan Joseph, consider this: the videos have advertisements on them. Any time one of those ads pays out, an advertiser has "lost" money in that they just paid for the ad time.
A nurse once told me that people will do anything to lose weight except eat right and excercise.
even the nurses themselves.
That nurse is IGNORANT.
The wrong food, and exercise, are _appetite stimulants._
Ironically, Roger says in another one of these, that eating the wrong kind of food, causes you to eat three times as much of it.
But here he says nothing about that.
The problem is they’re told completely false information about what’s healthy and what’s not
The fact is that healthy vs not is meaningless. Doing work is "hard"@@MikehMike01
@@jacobmcdorman5552I was going to adamantly defend my profession and state that we maintain lower weights than the rest of the population… But just looked it up and our collective average BMI is 27.58, kg/m2. Damnit ☹️
"She was once an icon but society doesn't appreciate aging"
And I oop-
Apoorva S its really rough out there
Poor Marie osmond 😂😂😂😂😂😂
10
"All in all another thot hits the wall"
And I oop-
@@evilspacemonkeyman lmao the redpill
I've lost 40 lbs in the last six months. No fancy diets. Just eating balanced meals and working out regularly. It's not about dieting. It's about balance and changing the way you look at food and your body. Food isn't evil.
Kate D Get it grrrl!!! Responding 5 months later so you can brag to me and the asshat above me :D Because sustainability.
Vegans seem to have unhealthy relationships with food. I mean 30 bananas a day? Are you serious? That's way too much sugar and of course you're losing weight because you're starving.
what is a balanced diet?
Very nice
my first crappy video Billy you don’t know anything about veganism, do you?
Drinks water: "ahhhh chemicals!"
Water con rains fluoride and chlorine
@@tamaraiselvimuthusamy4564 even water is chemical
@GTA and Apple channel not really we are not really sure about dark matter but the rest is chemical
You gotta love honesty
@@tamaraiselvimuthusamy4564 You consist of a huge bunch of chemicals.
Just like every other living being.
"You will literally piss out your poop hole". That one got me laughing so hard I cried.
Totally !!
we are brothers bound by name
4:21
Total Max Hardcore moment 😉
...and pissed out of my poop hole 😩
I like how they burned the hell out of Jared the Subway guy lol
Lina Leeann 😁😂
Me too! 😂
@M Bailey Now he lives on The Prison Diet.
YUCK🤮.
same
@Deserve Not Desire You don't get that kind of Footlong at Subway😈.
Oh wait, you can...just get it in the restroom & don't forget to lock the door😄.
"Homicide is 0.8% of deaths. Diet-related disease is over 60% but no one talks about it"
-Jamie Oliver
... Does starvation count as a diet-related disease?
@@headsetsquirrel2581
no, but 90% of these 60% he mentioned are after effects of stupidity and a less than 2min Google search
It's true. This research was taken at Institute of your ass nutrition. 60% of imaginary people talked about their diets to PHD Jamie
@@leonardopessanha5128 Hey, don't disrespect the Institute of Imagination's Ass. Almost all of today's great "thinkers" graduated from there. That must mean that it's great!
We MUST legislate a 5 day waiting period on diets!!
"you'll literally piss out your poophole"- i'm....dead
Uh i think that guy that dropped weight by sandwiches was Jarald from subway
I shitted pigeons
I lost 55 pounds after I retired two years ago. I went on the "Quit a Stressful Job Diet".
Do: If Horton’s honest ads were honest.
“Hi, I’m here to discredit some product so you can have a negative yet authentic view of consumerism and Capitalism and make you feel like you’re manipulated by advertisements, because you are.”
This comment is perfection
I'm pretty sure they stopped this series a couple of years ago
@@UniverseKeeper2 lmao anti-climax
@Hippie Style uh no, they’re literally designed to manipulate you. There’s entire fields of work and study specifically about how to increase consumer consumption using advertising and PR.
@@UniverseKeeper2 Not anymore!
He lowkey cares about our health
No
@@DarkwearGT 😑
Low-key
Just low-key
He shows he cares about every aspect of our lives through the magic of satire
I lost 40 pounds! How? I watched diabetes slowly kill my grandparents and mother. I watched them go blind, crazy, and have limb after limb removed until they begged for death. I decided that wasn't going to be me.
Then you bough a diet shake!
Shredded Wheat chill nigga
what the shit kind of super diabetes did both your grandparents and mother have? sounds like type 1 which is genetic if I'm not mistaken. My dad has type 2 and had it for 31 years now and his limbs are still intact. Sure, he's not entirely healthy but to go from that to having several limbs removed is just....wow
Zituletz it was type 2 and they ignored it their conditions. My grandfather lost both his legs, grandmother went blind and died of dimensia, mother went blind and died while having a leg removed.
I'm sorry to hear that. I take it they didn't even take insulin pills or shots?
"Come on, go ahead and eat my grain-free, vegan, paleo, allergen-free, raw, non-solid bar"
*Opens empty hand*
"It's $25 and I guarantee you'll lose weight eating it" WTF?! 😂😂😂 I'm done.
lol it's stuff-Free so much, it became nothing. That's clever!
Blaise, that's called intermittent fasting.
I didn’t get it at the first time. This is hilarious.
@Pivot pictures How so?
😂😂😂
If clothing companies were honest
JCpennies once tried the honest approach, were upfront about their prices, stopped using the SALE!!!! gimmick, and treated the customer like an intelligent human being
they nearly went Bankrupt for it, for doing the right thing, because all the customer wanted was to get a new pair of pants while it was on "sale"
shut up Andy
ya unless people are shone that there being fooled we often fall for anything
AndyisAverage I am Magine the term "cloth rectangle" will come up a lot
AndyisAverage that's gonna be brutal
This video is a response to "New year, new me". Well done Cracked.
NicoMajor101 Oh damn, that's clever 👏👏
NicoMajor101 I'm here 10months later
The dislikes are from the diet ads crew.
just a salty pitch
Yup
No. Because diseases cause both weight gain and weight loss. It's just as stupid to blame someone with an undiagnosed pituitary tumor for for being too fat as it is to blame an anorexic for being too thin. The only difference is most doctors don't care enough to bother to investigate what is making the fat person sick. They just maybe hand out a somewhat more "sensible" diet that doesn't work any better than the fads.
@@robinlillian9471 clearly he's not talking about people with disease. He's talking about people with poor dietary habits and the fake promises these diets hold.
_"Try our new liquid diet! You'll literally piss out your poop-hole!"_
I literally ROFLed
Jumped down in the comments just for that quote.
I'm still giggling about it.
XD ikr!
'Saliva maker', Roger's terms are burned into my mind now.
I see what you did there, posting a video about diets on the 1st week of new year XD
Ykhraam I noticed that too lol
I was about to type the same thing!
And the shot at Subway.
xDDDDD
+Cardio Bunny lol😇
“My garbage bag puff bar made you crave sugar “ 💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It really hurts how little people actually know about their own bodies and how much companies profit off their ignorance.
You mean like the drug racket? Yup.
Hurts how little people know about anything and companies will find something to profit off their ignorance, while the education system doesn't make them much more smart either
you do know it's a system? it's called capitalism ha
Man, that subway reference almost slipped right passed me.
I remember the South Park episode about it.
john ford *past* FYI
I know this was meant to be funny, but as someone who's dealing with eating disorders this kinda made me feel better. The way he mocks dieting culture makes me look at it as it is. Sometimes honestly is what we need!
I feel you
My mom was a serial dieter, fell for EVERYTHING.
Add in PTSD from sexual assault and its a bad mix of eating disorders.
I'm diabetic, high blood pressure, chronic pain, it's difficult to lose weight to alleviate the joint pain. But I mostly graze through the day, eat some protein, some fruit. I might eat a "meal" every other day. I do use a meal replacement shake, but just to ensure I get nutrition.
I'm more of a food snob. Eat little amounts of yummy food. I feel better.
Def got help from free nutrition counseling from local hospital. Scuence-based.
@@debbielawson4198 I relate to you so much you have no idea 😭❤️
I hope you’re doing better now!!!
@@thatcatholicgirl5675 that's so sweet! I am in recovery 🥰
Try appetite suppressants,, and sugar blockers,,,
do one on student loans
Roger DeVeaux I second that!
I third that.
If you learned how fucked up student loans actually are, you'd put your fist through your monitor.
Roger DeVeaux yus
Silly Puppy
HA! More like borrowing money from the Mafia while the Mafia strong arms the local landlords into raising rent so more people have to borrow money from the Mafia.
"you'll literally piss out your poop hole" I spit my lunch out laughing when he said that
Ppfffff ohohohoh😁
Also, unfortunately he speaks the truth.
I had to pause from laughing so hard!!!
I have laughed myself into a hysterical state. I literally had to stop watching because I was in pain from laughter. But it amazes me how accurate he is. I’ve been binging on his videos for at least an hour now
Adam ruins everything and roger should do a crossover
if they do a advertiser ep roger shoud come in as one those people tht put adam in there place when it comes to certain topics
Qwerty Bastard I've gotta disagree with you there; they're both great but Roger cracks me up
Qwerty Bastard
I agree, but they should still do it, i would love to see it.
Abiy BattleSpell
Roger should be trying to sell something and Adam should be saying why that product sucks
I find Adam more indepth and informative.
But Roger is fucking hilarious.
"gluten free meat" LMAO XD
@The V word It's so funny because meat is naturally gluten free. That was the whole joke.
@The V word There's a trend of selling naturally gluten-free products as "gluten free" like it there were gluten eggs or meat of something similar xD
How about no meat like me? I'm a vegetarian. And you can easily substitute meat for beans and nuts (not peanuts) and you can substitute regular chocolate for dark chocolate and protein bars.
I just bought a chocolate candy shaped like the Millennium Falcon, and on the label it said, "gluten free." Yeah, 'cause chocolate has SO MUCH gluten in it!
NONE.
@@theemotionalremix In fact, like you, I have substituted meat FOR gut-destroying disgusting, nasty-tasting beans and meat I have substituted FOR lethally allergenic nuts, thank you very much: like you I call myself a vegetarian because I also know how to play vocabulary games and it makes me sound very cool but I eat animals at every meal including snacks. They're so much easier to digest, I can't eat much of anything else anyway. Most vegetables are toxic when they're not gut destroying and no soaking doesn't help those conditions.
This is awesome and so true. I was trapped in an eating Disorder for many years after a diet. I finally discovered the truth about dieting, and now I am fully recovered.
Please do "if the US government was honest."
hahaha
You trying to get my mans banned
Kind of the sum of all these videos combined
Reiden Lightman he will get killed
As much we’d all like to see that, I don’t to see a black suburban come around and kidnap Mr Horton. He was in Nam or some other war that would make him a Vet.
Do "if sugar alternatives' companies were honest"
It's already been done ua-cam.com/video/Mf82FfX-wuU/v-deo.html
There are no "sugar alternatives companies" in the sense that you're implying (ie "big sweetener").
Sugar alternatives are not patent protected and any half decent chemist can make them. They are cheap to produce and effective at such tiny doses that there's not a lot of money to be made from them.
They are also perfectly safe for human consumption. Safer than sugar in most cases, when you consider that obesity is a leading cause of morbidity and mortality in developed countries, and unlike the sugar you would have consumed instead the sweeteners don't make you any fatter.
@@BigUriel But the problem is that your body does not get the sugar it expects. "Big load of sugar incoming! Start storing blood sugar!" Few minutes later: "WHERE IS IT? EMERGENCY I'M STARVING! LOW BLOOD SUGAR! EAT EAT EAT!"
@@mialon5573 studies don't validate that. At least, none I've seen when searching for it. It should be easy to replicate, have something of a dose response, and be way more that p.05 in test groups. Yet, we don't have any evidence showing that.
Aka, until it's substantiated by studies replicating that claim, that's an ol wives tale.
Any basis to the rumours the sugar alternatives increase cancer rates more than sugar...
"I love a useless product"
- consumerism in a nutshell 🙄.
Never forget college debt, insurance and iphone installments
Cracked continues to be America's most reliable source of news.
No offense to Cracked but let's take a moment to think how pathetic that is.
Only the King's jester is permitted to speak the truth
Best youtube comment ever!
not really, no news source can truly be reliable. the most reliable just means that you think they are lying to you less then the others, the truth is they are all lying to you equally. now i feel like the gay frogs guy from info wars.......... great *sarcastically.* i'm even reading this in his voice.........
No, that would be The Onion.
"Piss out your poop hole." Yep, this video is already an early contender for the best Cracked video of 2017.
Lol....all you really need for that is some magnesium citrate from walmart
"With my diet, you can eat whatever you want."
"And you'll still lose weight?"
"Uh...you might! It's a free country!"
-- The Simpsons
Can you do "If Acne Cream Commercials Were Honest" video?
Oh god... I remember when Proactiv was really big, even though you could get the same damn effect from any cream with benzoyl peroxide in it. They made people pay like 40$ for something they could get for 5$. lol
X is your body giving you a clue that something is not right. So instead of fixing the problem let's just use Y to lessen the X instead of actually curing it. - 90% of medical products.
What's the $5 benzoyl peroxide alternative? I never tried any of that stuff, I thought it was an elaborate joke!
Grunchy It wasn't, it actually sort of works, a little. But one of the side-effects was that it could dry out your skin pretty bad, which is arguably worse for your skin than a few zits or acne.
As for the cheapo alternative, I think it was Oxy maximum. But yeah, I remember seeing somewhere that a few of the proactiv alternatives had the same success rate and effect. Even at a cheap price though, I'd look for alternatives.
Grunchy It works fine if you don't overuse it. A tube lasts me like 6 months.
If Politicians were honest
Kuma Sama That video would be days long!
If government was honest
we're going to steel your money via taxes and redistribute most of it to hookers and drug dealers.
we will give a little to the poor but not enough to make them less dependent on the government.
Kuma Sama You don't want Roger to die of Six Barbells to the Back, now, do you?
Kuma Sama They did that one...
Well, presidential candidates at least.
I love this guy....would love to have a friend like him!!!!! so straight forward! so truthful.
"Back in the 90s I was in a very famous TV show."
I love this series so much I thumbs it up before I even watch the video!!!
Society doesn’t embrace aging. Real Talk
Because it reminds people of their mortality. And that's a bummer...
Do "If Honest Ads were Honest with Us"
happy new year Roger!!!!!!!
We put so much attention to the shape of our bodies than we often forget they are doing the most important thing ever; they are keeping us alive.
Although it is important to remember the shape can be tied to health. Your waist to hip ratio is a legitimately good indicator of health, because although being overweight at all is unhealthy, regardless of where your fat stores, having an excess of abdominal fat is more unhealthy, because it is likely storing as visceral fat which will choke your organs. So like, yeah, if you're like, "Ugh, I need to lose 5 pounds this summer!" that's a problem and you're holding yourself to unrealistic expectations, but if you're 20+ lbs overweight there is likely an actual problem. It's really common for people, nowadays, to need to lose 40, 60, 80, or even over 100 lbs., and at that point it isn't just "the shape of your body," your organs and joints are severely at risk.
Obviously the flip side is true, too, and if you're too thin you'll have issues, but generally speaking when people talk about diet companies, we're talking about people who are overweight or obese.
Do a "If Every Life Coach/Motivational Speaker Was Honest"
i DARE you to do one about the oil industry.
corey merrill Yes!
The oil industry doesn’t have ads and doesn’t say much
@@bart7729 I'm pretty sure Shell, Exxon, Chevron, BP etc, do have ads, who are all part of big oil
@@bart7729 they have some
These oil companies help get you home to your family safely because you choose good quality fossil fuels
"You'll piss out your poop hole!" Lololololol!!!! These vids have the BEST lines! Somebody deserves an award just for those, lol!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
3:56 roger turns into palpatine
Sabrowsky do it
Bob dew et
He would make a great Sith Lord...
Darth Roger could become the Senate and I'd be OK with it
Hi, I'm Darth Horton, but you can call me Emperor Roger.
And I'm going to tell you how the Dark Lords of the Sith are going to fix your ancient, crumbling bureaucracy and bring order to the Galaxy.
First I'll convince you to blame the current Supreme Chancellor for everything wrong with the Republic. Probably by manipulating some gullible aliens into occupying an innocent planet for no discernible reason.
Once the Chancellor is removed with a vote of no confidence, I will be installed as his replacement without any need for trifles like public support or the democratic process.
THEN, through various intermediaries I will convince half of you that the Republic is evil and declaring independence is your only option, and the other half that in order to safeguard peace and unity, a vast army of clones must be formed....
But this is technically beyond the scope of the Supreme Chancellor's authority, and none of you wanna be the one responsible for suggesting we abandon democracy in favor of a military dictatorship. So I'll just find the biggest moron in the Senate to suggest it for you.
And you will gladly support the idea--even if it comes from a 7 foot tall retarded duck-lizard.
Once you have effectively made the Republic a Totalitarian state, ten years of bloody, exhausting galactic war will follow...a war which I will control both sides of...
And when you're sufficiently beaten and demoralized, I'll end the war, outlaw democracy, and establish my regime as an Empire...
And you will LOVE me for it.
Oh, and while you're not looking, I'll have the Jedi assassinated by the very clone soldiers they lead into battle.
Much fewer of you will be upset by this than you might think....
I'm Roger by the way...
NOW KNEEL BEFORE YOUR EMPEROR!
Poor schmuck who had to play Jared, hope he got paid well. :)
yep there will never be a healthy commercial gimmick diet because if it worked the money would stop rolling in. Love this channel!!
I love Roger. He is my favorite person i'm not related to.
If motivational speakers were honest.
This man is a gem!
1: Eat more Vegetables
2: Eat less Sugar
3: Exercise
IT'S NOT HARD PEOPLE. THAT'S LITERALLY ALL YOU NEED TO DO TO BE WAY HEALTHIER.
Samuel Baugh I now drink diet soda and add extra lettuce to my cheeseburgers. I feel healthier already.
Cool going to add vegetables to my breakfast of bacon, with more bacon covered in bits of bacon.
xinic5 That's the spirit
Yet, but the amount of all these, still have to be specified for some people, like its not enough to work out like twice a week for example
You missed the main point im sorry some people will never get to or be able to maintain a chisled physic get over it move on and pass me a donut!
Do one on doctors prescribing high priced meds just to get a kickback from the drug makers.
Kickbacks are rare. The real problem is that docs very rarely know anything about the retail prices of the drugs they prescribe.
overheard at the hospital where I work, "My mom's kidneys were fine until they added the 14th med."
@@wholeNwon Every doctor knows this, it is one of the most basic facts that you learn in pharmacology classes (brand-name drugs vs generic).
Kickbacks are extremely wide spread. This is the primary reason why doctors prescribe brand-name drugs rather than generics.
@@ahtoshkaa Yes, every doc knows that brand name drugs are usually vastly more expensive than generics and the same brand name drugs sold elsewhere in the world are much cheaper than in the US. And Congress protects the drug rackets' massive profits. That's where the real kickback and payoffs are. If by kickbacks to docs you mean the payment of money for prescriptions written, I have never seen that in the last 48 years. And I'm intimately familiar with a large number of medical practices. However, I have asked many physicians what they think the prices of specific brand name drugs are for uninsured patients and have yet to get a response that is even close to the prices charged! Often they off by factors of 10 or more for some of these things. Even worse, some of these drugs are of very marginal value.
Please.
1:30 Genuinely almost choked on my water and laughed for a solid 30 seconds at the Fogle reference.
I'm on the drink water and walk diet. When combined with the "eat less move more diet", it creates incredible results
All the shade that was thrown at Jared😅😂😂.
It's the truth I'm sorry people there is no easy fast way to lose weight it's a lot of hard work and watching what you eat
I could recomend Keto.. but after a good period of time your T3 and T4 are gonna be sow low that your Dr may prescribe you tyroid medication forever :D
And watching how much you eat
I've seen a keto person wolf down bacon but wouldn't touch a carrot. I was like no way this is healthy...
@@kaitlynlindsay4143
"Healthy" is overrated when you compare it with "sexy"
@@manuelantuna26 ?
I LOLed at that blatant jab at Jared Fogle. Keep up the good work making evil funny, Mr. Horton.
Ok. I admit it. I ate my keyboard while watchi...
how you type after you ate it?
Maby he swollowed it whole so he can still type on it.
he used his smart phone, it doesn't use keyboards, or he has that keyboard program that uses the mouse/screen as a keyboard.
"Mmm chemicals" Everything we eat is chemicals.
Even Ice? shocking!
I'll eat anything Roger tells me to! Roger's approval is the only one that matters!!!
putrifiedpuppy disemboweledkitty That is highly unlikely, everyone around me is dead, everyone outside the lead sarcophagus is dead or an irradiated mutant and even if someone did decide to adopt me - the last pen to sign the papers I've seen was in the Kamchatka Peninsula
putrifiedpuppy disemboweledkitty After I've told you about my conditions, I dread the idea of your life if you still think adopting me would be a step DOWN for me...
I have a friend that said her new diet is her replacing one of her meals with a chocolate Boost drink then a few hours later watched her scarf down a cheese with no veggies and complained how gross my salad is... I was like"Good luck with that!"
A chocolate boost drink loaded with sugar.
Maybe the best you've made so far. Nothing hidden, nothing revealed, just time-warping what we all observe in real life and making patterns clear.
man these honest ads are brutal😆😆😆
The only real "diet" out there... is eating healthy, in normal portions, and exercising.
But does it come with a badge or an app? Because if it doesn't come with an a badge or an app then I'm not subscribing, because I need to be constantly coddled and told I'm a good person or my ego will devour me. Oooh, speaking of which, does it have a social media page?
IndustrialBonecraft No, but look at the three million add of healthy cool young people drinking coke! I wanna be like them! I associate that syrup-drink with refreshment instead of diabetes! Yay capitalism!
I really liked the fade-to-black visuals and audio at 3:56.
It's funny, I've been trying different diets since high school and now have just been treating my calories like a budget and had more success than anything else I've ever done. It always throws me off when people ask me what diet I'm using. It feels silly now, but I wish I had realized years ago that all I had to do was just not overeat.
I think you guys will enjoy my diet program. It's called the "Eat Less, Move More" diet!
No no, don't buy his diety diet diet, buy MY diety diet diet. It's called "Eat Ass" and it really works!
I've been on madcat789's diet for about a year now. I'm not sure if I'm losing weight bud damn I'm hooked!
madcat789 lol
mickeynotmouse lmfao
Is it from the same line as the economics program "Don't buy stuff you can't afford"?
Love this channel. It's all so true and his delivery is hilarious 😆
I lost 100 pounds...... With a British bookie!
WAQWBrentwood 😂😂😂
Thank god cracked is just as cynical as me 😂😂😂 love this series
when the lighting switched, all i could think was how the words that Roger spoke also apply SO MUCH to all the AA/NA programmes
Eating anything is technically eating 'chemicals'
dihydrogen monoxide is water
i think that was the joke
ZenNaster
Wow, she couldn't slip that one past someone as smart as you.
Yeah, but you and me and everybody know what she was talking about -_-
fenrirgg
You and I, not "me".
These are becoming more and more real
I love ❤️ all the Cracked honest ad’s I watch! So honest! Humour and sometimes include facts lol 😂
Mmmm chemicals
Max A Million salt is a chemical
Everything is a chemical *
I got an ad for nutrisystem before this video started🤣
I hope you patronized the advertiser. It's what keeps UA-cam videos coming
@@riverraisin1 wtf is wrong with you
“But if these celebs and average joes don’t do it for you, we’ll just shame you.” I’m CRYING 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jared is eating 6 inches in prison if you know what I mean...
Thy Ogrelord 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Thy Ogrelord wait, I dont get it. They don't serve subway sandwiches in prison....ooooo Dats nasty...😳
Rape jokes are not funny.
Naw they got a foot long for that thicc ass
he didnt go to prison.
Wizards first rule: People will believe anything as long as they want it to be true or they fear it is true.
"Anyway... Beat it, *monster* !"
Water is made of chemicals. Can we stop misusing the word chemicals
Water is a chemical rather than made up of chemicals. The implication though is that chemicals are artificially made, I’d describe water as a compound.
@@jonpaulknights3460 It would be a chemical compound, yes. You just forgot that chemical is short for chemical compound, and compound is short for chemical compound.
Right? Wish we could get people to stop misusing the word diet, too. Literally, whatever you eat is your diet.
I wonder how many people watching this are thinking "This is SO true...except for that special diet/cleanse *I* selected, because it's *different*"
Scroll through the comments and you'll get more than a taste of this phenomenon.
"because my garbage puff bar made you crave sugar"
I actually fell for this a few years back and, yes, those garbage bars DO make you crave sugar!
$3000000 is hell of a motivation to stay on a fad diet and lose the weight
I just love this actor, his sarcasm is perfect
I love this guy!
2:27 2:27 Look at his hand, it turns
2:27 2:27 grey when he throws it
Yes it does bro...
Whoa dude
Probably went pass the green screen.
These are always the best!
Thanks for the laughs 😄👍
I so wish they would show these videos to kids in school.
"Mmmmm chemicals" 😂
Thank god there's still people like Cracked 😁👍🏽
i love that jared from subway reference lol
Suggested presentation- Buying new golf equipment every season will turn you into a golf professional!
it doesnt matter which honest ad video it is, Roger always has impeccable soups
[applause]
Roger for President in 2020!
*Eating Big mac.....*
*Watches the video.....*
*Spits the big mac and throws it at the garbage.....*
Says: *Alright from now on I'll get into a strict diet!*
Next week.... *finds an excuse to himself to eat big mac.....*
Says: *I've been working hard for a week, I deserve a big mac....*
*gains back the weight he lost the past week....*