If Every Famous Diet Idea Was Honest - Honest Ads

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 1 січ 2017
  • SUBSCRIBE HERE: goo.gl/ITTCPW
    Before you try to fast-track that weight loss resolution.
    CLICK HERE for our NEWEST SERIES: • Playlist
    CLICK HERE for YOUR BRAIN ON CRACKED: tinylink.net/z3BAv
    CLICK HERE For more AFTER HOURS: goo.gl/Nrg6Jh
    CLICK HERE For the CinemaSins Team-Up Playlist: goo.gl/6Fr465
    WATCH every episode of STARSHIP ICARUS here - goo.gl/21RejZ
    See more www.cracked.com
    LIKE us on: / cracked
    FOLLOW us on: / cracked
    FOLLOW us on: / cracked
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,4 тис.

  • @thewhitewolf58
    @thewhitewolf58 Рік тому +373

    A nurse once told me that people will do anything to lose weight except eat right and excercise.

    • @jacobmcdorman5552
      @jacobmcdorman5552 Рік тому +25

      even the nurses themselves.

    • @SovereignStatesman
      @SovereignStatesman Рік тому +6

      That nurse is IGNORANT.
      The wrong food, and exercise, are _appetite stimulants._
      Ironically, Roger says in another one of these, that eating the wrong kind of food, causes you to eat three times as much of it.
      But here he says nothing about that.

    • @MikehMike01
      @MikehMike01 Рік тому +1

      The problem is they’re told completely false information about what’s healthy and what’s not

    • @jacobmcdorman5552
      @jacobmcdorman5552 Рік тому

      The fact is that healthy vs not is meaningless. Doing work is "hard"@@MikehMike01

    • @bexmac8136
      @bexmac8136 11 місяців тому +8

      @@jacobmcdorman5552I was going to adamantly defend my profession and state that we maintain lower weights than the rest of the population… But just looked it up and our collective average BMI is 27.58, kg/m2. Damnit ☹️

  • @DarknetDude
    @DarknetDude 7 років тому +8227

    `Every time Cracked uploads an "Honest Ad" an advertiser loses money.`

    • @DarknetDude
      @DarknetDude 7 років тому +229

      `And I think that's fantastic.`

    • @choombi6721
      @choombi6721 7 років тому +97

      A noble cause

    • @jaganjoseph386
      @jaganjoseph386 7 років тому +54

      Loathsome Lockdown not really..
      Even though we know now what happens in hotels after watching if hotel ads were honest, staying at a hotel is inevitable

    • @jaganjoseph386
      @jaganjoseph386 7 років тому +14

      ***** where do you stay then when you visit other states?

    • @Kaslai
      @Kaslai 7 років тому +7

      Jagan Joseph, consider this: the videos have advertisements on them. Any time one of those ads pays out, an advertiser has "lost" money in that they just paid for the ad time.

  • @apoorvas6062
    @apoorvas6062 4 роки тому +3332

    "She was once an icon but society doesn't appreciate aging"
    And I oop-

  • @jasonbrown4526
    @jasonbrown4526 4 роки тому +3980

    "Mmmmm......chemicals."
    That was funnier than expected.

    • @SaintGuillotine
      @SaintGuillotine 4 роки тому +23

      I said the same eating tide pods and drinking bleach

    • @huldanoren951
      @huldanoren951 4 роки тому +31

      @@SaintGuillotine You should say that whenever you're eating, cuz everything you eat are chemicals

    • @SaintGuillotine
      @SaintGuillotine 4 роки тому +3

      @@huldanoren951 yeah but those are more chemical than regular food and besides it's my favorite thing to eat

    • @huldanoren951
      @huldanoren951 4 роки тому +16

      @@SaintGuillotine Glucose, chemical. Proteins, chemicals. Vitamins, chemicals. Water, chemical.

    • @SaintGuillotine
      @SaintGuillotine 4 роки тому

      @@huldanoren951 you would understand if you mastered the art of eating inedible things essentially I'm a goat

  • @kaned5543
    @kaned5543 6 років тому +6025

    I've lost 40 lbs in the last six months. No fancy diets. Just eating balanced meals and working out regularly. It's not about dieting. It's about balance and changing the way you look at food and your body. Food isn't evil.

    • @RoxieRedwood
      @RoxieRedwood 5 років тому +105

      Kate D Get it grrrl!!! Responding 5 months later so you can brag to me and the asshat above me :D Because sustainability.

    • @myfirstcrappyvideobilly
      @myfirstcrappyvideobilly 5 років тому +171

      Vegans seem to have unhealthy relationships with food. I mean 30 bananas a day? Are you serious? That's way too much sugar and of course you're losing weight because you're starving.

    • @Shivasyn13
      @Shivasyn13 5 років тому +30

      what is a balanced diet?

    • @PC-yp5dl
      @PC-yp5dl 5 років тому +3

      Very nice

    • @Fish-cj4ub
      @Fish-cj4ub 5 років тому +70

      my first crappy video Billy you don’t know anything about veganism, do you?

  • @ahmedsultani3028
    @ahmedsultani3028 5 років тому +3107

    "Homicide is 0.8% of deaths. Diet-related disease is over 60% but no one talks about it"
    -Jamie Oliver

    • @headsetsquirrel2581
      @headsetsquirrel2581 4 роки тому +101

      ... Does starvation count as a diet-related disease?

    • @aurumvale9908
      @aurumvale9908 4 роки тому +73

      @@headsetsquirrel2581
      no, but 90% of these 60% he mentioned are after effects of stupidity and a less than 2min Google search

    • @leonardopessanha5128
      @leonardopessanha5128 4 роки тому +46

      It's true. This research was taken at Institute of your ass nutrition. 60% of imaginary people talked about their diets to PHD Jamie

    • @Hearstbane
      @Hearstbane 4 роки тому +49

      @@leonardopessanha5128 Hey, don't disrespect the Institute of Imagination's Ass. Almost all of today's great "thinkers" graduated from there. That must mean that it's great!

    • @princeharming8963
      @princeharming8963 4 роки тому +9

      We MUST legislate a 5 day waiting period on diets!!

  • @MostHighEmperorPalpatine
    @MostHighEmperorPalpatine 4 роки тому +2141

    Drinks water: "ahhhh chemicals!"

    • @tamaraiselvimuthusamy4564
      @tamaraiselvimuthusamy4564 4 роки тому +21

      Water con rains fluoride and chlorine

    • @therandomprogrammer041
      @therandomprogrammer041 4 роки тому +76

      @@tamaraiselvimuthusamy4564 even water is chemical

    • @therandomprogrammer041
      @therandomprogrammer041 4 роки тому +11

      @GTA and Apple channel not really we are not really sure about dark matter but the rest is chemical

    • @JohnDoe-so4zd
      @JohnDoe-so4zd 4 роки тому

      You gotta love honesty

    • @solar0wind
      @solar0wind 4 роки тому +12

      @@tamaraiselvimuthusamy4564 You consist of a huge bunch of chemicals.
      Just like every other living being.

  • @angelinaschlesinger
    @angelinaschlesinger 4 роки тому +886

    I like how they burned the hell out of Jared the Subway guy lol

    • @miriamhavard7621
      @miriamhavard7621 4 роки тому +3

      Lina Leeann 😁😂

    • @terrywestbrook-lienert2296
      @terrywestbrook-lienert2296 4 роки тому +2

      Me too! 😂

    • @noahpartic7586
      @noahpartic7586 4 роки тому +18

      @M Bailey Now he lives on The Prison Diet.
      YUCK🤮.

    • @KC11ON
      @KC11ON 4 роки тому +2

      same

    • @noahpartic7586
      @noahpartic7586 4 роки тому +7

      @Deserve Not Desire You don't get that kind of Footlong at Subway😈.
      Oh wait, you can...just get it in the restroom & don't forget to lock the door😄.

  • @garrett793
    @garrett793 7 років тому +949

    "You will literally piss out your poop hole". That one got me laughing so hard I cried.

  • @wheatboi8255
    @wheatboi8255 7 років тому +2177

    I lost 40 pounds! How? I watched diabetes slowly kill my grandparents and mother. I watched them go blind, crazy, and have limb after limb removed until they begged for death. I decided that wasn't going to be me.

    • @JonatasMonte
      @JonatasMonte 7 років тому +150

      Then you bough a diet shake!

    • @t.veritas884
      @t.veritas884 7 років тому +79

      Shredded Wheat chill nigga

    • @ZTw0
      @ZTw0 7 років тому +177

      what the shit kind of super diabetes did both your grandparents and mother have? sounds like type 1 which is genetic if I'm not mistaken. My dad has type 2 and had it for 31 years now and his limbs are still intact. Sure, he's not entirely healthy but to go from that to having several limbs removed is just....wow

    • @wheatboi8255
      @wheatboi8255 7 років тому +192

      Zituletz​ it was type 2 and they ignored it their conditions. My grandfather lost both his legs, grandmother went blind and died of dimensia, mother went blind and died while having a leg removed.

    • @ZTw0
      @ZTw0 7 років тому +47

      I'm sorry to hear that. I take it they didn't even take insulin pills or shots?

  • @malcolmxraw1342
    @malcolmxraw1342 5 років тому +888

    He lowkey cares about our health

  • @LucidDreamer54321
    @LucidDreamer54321 2 роки тому +51

    I lost 55 pounds after I retired two years ago. I went on the "Quit a Stressful Job Diet".

  • @Ykhraam
    @Ykhraam 7 років тому +1882

    I see what you did there, posting a video about diets on the 1st week of new year XD

  • @AndyisAverage
    @AndyisAverage 7 років тому +1751

    If clothing companies were honest

    • @dukoth6552
      @dukoth6552 7 років тому +60

      JCpennies once tried the honest approach, were upfront about their prices, stopped using the SALE!!!! gimmick, and treated the customer like an intelligent human being
      they nearly went Bankrupt for it, for doing the right thing, because all the customer wanted was to get a new pair of pants while it was on "sale"

    • @murry001
      @murry001 7 років тому +6

      shut up Andy

    • @hellblaze10
      @hellblaze10 7 років тому +1

      ya unless people are shone that there being fooled we often fall for anything

    • @FrancisR420
      @FrancisR420 7 років тому +12

      AndyisAverage I am Magine the term "cloth rectangle" will come up a lot

    • @vianeyboruel504
      @vianeyboruel504 7 років тому +22

      AndyisAverage that's gonna be brutal

  • @blaisea.3820
    @blaisea.3820 4 роки тому +890

    "Come on, go ahead and eat my grain-free, vegan, paleo, allergen-free, raw, non-solid bar"
    *Opens empty hand*
    "It's $25 and I guarantee you'll lose weight eating it" WTF?! 😂😂😂 I'm done.

    • @jemileedabear9630
      @jemileedabear9630 4 роки тому +29

      lol it's stuff-Free so much, it became nothing. That's clever!

    • @kimberlycooper4170
      @kimberlycooper4170 4 роки тому +5

      Blaise, that's called intermittent fasting.

    • @winnytk
      @winnytk 3 роки тому +7

      I didn’t get it at the first time. This is hilarious.

    • @blaisea.3820
      @blaisea.3820 3 роки тому +1

      @Pivot pictures How so?

    • @user-is5dl5kw9c
      @user-is5dl5kw9c 3 роки тому +2

      😂😂😂

  • @valhalla4791
    @valhalla4791 4 роки тому +213

    "you'll literally piss out your poophole"- i'm....dead

    • @OHOE1
      @OHOE1 3 роки тому +1

      Uh i think that guy that dropped weight by sandwiches was Jarald from subway

    • @JohnZaabi
      @JohnZaabi 3 роки тому +2

      I shitted pigeons

  • @JamesBond-fd6qg
    @JamesBond-fd6qg 4 роки тому +1243

    Do: If Horton’s honest ads were honest.
    “Hi, I’m here to discredit some product so you can have a negative yet authentic view of consumerism and Capitalism and make you feel like you’re manipulated by advertisements, because you are.”

    • @FarWesternGarrison
      @FarWesternGarrison 4 роки тому +45

      This comment is perfection

    • @UniverseKeeper2
      @UniverseKeeper2 4 роки тому +8

      I'm pretty sure they stopped this series a couple of years ago

    • @KC11ON
      @KC11ON 4 роки тому +3

      @@UniverseKeeper2 lmao anti-climax

    • @JacquelineUnderwood
      @JacquelineUnderwood 3 роки тому +15

      @Hippie Style uh no, they’re literally designed to manipulate you. There’s entire fields of work and study specifically about how to increase consumer consumption using advertising and PR.

    • @AssBlasster
      @AssBlasster 3 роки тому +1

      @@UniverseKeeper2 Not anymore!

  • @ZadnoleyaEdits
    @ZadnoleyaEdits 7 років тому +2642

    Adam ruins everything and roger should do a crossover

    • @abiybattlespell8401
      @abiybattlespell8401 7 років тому +65

      if they do a advertiser ep roger shoud come in as one those people tht put adam in there place when it comes to certain topics

    • @__marie__
      @__marie__ 7 років тому +34

      Qwerty Bastard I've gotta disagree with you there; they're both great but Roger cracks me up

    • @soverytired6152
      @soverytired6152 7 років тому +9

      Qwerty Bastard
      I agree, but they should still do it, i would love to see it.

    • @soverytired6152
      @soverytired6152 7 років тому +14

      Abiy BattleSpell
      Roger should be trying to sell something and Adam should be saying why that product sucks

    • @Edited6
      @Edited6 7 років тому +29

      I find Adam more indepth and informative.
      But Roger is fucking hilarious.

  • @HikariFAnimations
    @HikariFAnimations 3 роки тому +288

    I know this was meant to be funny, but as someone who's dealing with eating disorders this kinda made me feel better. The way he mocks dieting culture makes me look at it as it is. Sometimes honestly is what we need!

    • @debbielawson4198
      @debbielawson4198 3 роки тому +6

      I feel you
      My mom was a serial dieter, fell for EVERYTHING.
      Add in PTSD from sexual assault and its a bad mix of eating disorders.
      I'm diabetic, high blood pressure, chronic pain, it's difficult to lose weight to alleviate the joint pain. But I mostly graze through the day, eat some protein, some fruit. I might eat a "meal" every other day. I do use a meal replacement shake, but just to ensure I get nutrition.
      I'm more of a food snob. Eat little amounts of yummy food. I feel better.
      Def got help from free nutrition counseling from local hospital. Scuence-based.

    • @HikariFAnimations
      @HikariFAnimations 3 роки тому +2

      @@debbielawson4198 I relate to you so much you have no idea 😭❤️

    • @thatcatholicgirl5675
      @thatcatholicgirl5675 2 роки тому +2

      I hope you’re doing better now!!!

    • @HikariFAnimations
      @HikariFAnimations 2 роки тому +3

      @@thatcatholicgirl5675 that's so sweet! I am in recovery 🥰

    • @lightbeingpontifex
      @lightbeingpontifex 2 роки тому

      Try appetite suppressants,, and sugar blockers,,,

  • @YUYU-jo1hy
    @YUYU-jo1hy 4 роки тому +464

    The dislikes are from the diet ads crew.

    • @stephaniesarahi8956
      @stephaniesarahi8956 4 роки тому +5

      just a salty pitch
      Yup

    • @robinlillian9471
      @robinlillian9471 3 роки тому +3

      No. Because diseases cause both weight gain and weight loss. It's just as stupid to blame someone with an undiagnosed pituitary tumor for for being too fat as it is to blame an anorexic for being too thin. The only difference is most doctors don't care enough to bother to investigate what is making the fat person sick. They just maybe hand out a somewhat more "sensible" diet that doesn't work any better than the fads.

    • @wingeddragonra3953
      @wingeddragonra3953 Рік тому

      @@robinlillian9471 clearly he's not talking about people with disease. He's talking about people with poor dietary habits and the fake promises these diets hold.

  • @CoriSparx
    @CoriSparx 7 років тому +254

    _"Try our new liquid diet! You'll literally piss out your poop-hole!"_
    I literally ROFLed

    • @KarlaRei
      @KarlaRei 7 років тому +1

      Jumped down in the comments just for that quote.
      I'm still giggling about it.

    • @antitheist3206
      @antitheist3206 7 років тому +2

      XD ikr!

    • @judywright4241
      @judywright4241 7 років тому +2

      'Saliva maker', Roger's terms are burned into my mind now.

  • @rhd244
    @rhd244 7 років тому +1429

    do one on student loans

    • @SporadicKristal
      @SporadicKristal 7 років тому +19

      Roger DeVeaux I second that!

    • @papa_woody
      @papa_woody 7 років тому +24

      I third that.

    • @conduit64
      @conduit64 7 років тому +37

      If you learned how fucked up student loans actually are, you'd put your fist through your monitor.

    • @jcraig6431
      @jcraig6431 7 років тому +2

      Roger DeVeaux yus

    • @conduit64
      @conduit64 7 років тому +40

      Silly Puppy
      HA! More like borrowing money from the Mafia while the Mafia strong arms the local landlords into raising rent so more people have to borrow money from the Mafia.

  • @bc5147
    @bc5147 5 років тому +140

    “My garbage bag puff bar made you crave sugar “ 💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @MrVee24
    @MrVee24 4 роки тому +117

    "I love a useless product"
    - consumerism in a nutshell 🙄.

    • @rishab.b9165
      @rishab.b9165 3 роки тому +4

      Never forget college debt, insurance and iphone installments

  • @boglenight1551
    @boglenight1551 7 років тому +120

    It really hurts how little people actually know about their own bodies and how much companies profit off their ignorance.

    • @wholeNwon
      @wholeNwon 6 років тому +1

      You mean like the drug racket? Yup.

    • @sergiowinter5383
      @sergiowinter5383 2 роки тому +2

      Hurts how little people know about anything and companies will find something to profit off their ignorance, while the education system doesn't make them much more smart either

    • @pleasegetajob
      @pleasegetajob Місяць тому

      you do know it's a system? it's called capitalism ha

  • @KTSpeedruns
    @KTSpeedruns 7 років тому +537

    Please do "if the US government was honest."

    • @bradleyjames3120
      @bradleyjames3120 7 років тому +2

      hahaha

    • @exoticpash4186
      @exoticpash4186 5 років тому +47

      You trying to get my mans banned

    • @jordanmoorman5024
      @jordanmoorman5024 5 років тому +19

      Kind of the sum of all these videos combined

    • @WestCoastGfoelife
      @WestCoastGfoelife 5 років тому +9

      Reiden Lightman he will get killed

    • @bimmermac
      @bimmermac 5 років тому +6

      As much we’d all like to see that, I don’t to see a black suburban come around and kidnap Mr Horton. He was in Nam or some other war that would make him a Vet.

  • @ZhangtheGreat
    @ZhangtheGreat 3 роки тому +53

    "With my diet, you can eat whatever you want."
    "And you'll still lose weight?"
    "Uh...you might! It's a free country!"
    -- The Simpsons

  • @nakking3224
    @nakking3224 3 роки тому +35

    Society doesn’t embrace aging. Real Talk

    • @leonrobinson8180
      @leonrobinson8180 2 роки тому +1

      Because it reminds people of their mortality. And that's a bummer...

  • @DaniG._.German
    @DaniG._.German 7 років тому +624

    This video is a response to "New year, new me". Well done Cracked.

    • @WateverWatever04
      @WateverWatever04 7 років тому +2

      NicoMajor101 Oh damn, that's clever 👏👏

    • @Werewulff333
      @Werewulff333 6 років тому +1

      NicoMajor101 I'm here 10months later

  • @johnford3997
    @johnford3997 7 років тому +275

    Man, that subway reference almost slipped right passed me.

    • @The482075
      @The482075 4 роки тому +10

      I remember the South Park episode about it.

    • @tarlankasra
      @tarlankasra 4 роки тому +3

      john ford *past* FYI

  • @riverofwolves21
    @riverofwolves21 3 роки тому +27

    This is awesome and so true. I was trapped in an eating Disorder for many years after a diet. I finally discovered the truth about dieting, and now I am fully recovered.

  • @cherokeegotti4903
    @cherokeegotti4903 3 роки тому +23

    I have laughed myself into a hysterical state. I literally had to stop watching because I was in pain from laughter. But it amazes me how accurate he is. I’ve been binging on his videos for at least an hour now

  • @TheSgenua
    @TheSgenua 7 років тому +86

    "you'll literally piss out your poop hole" I spit my lunch out laughing when he said that

  • @olaoluwapowilliams5169
    @olaoluwapowilliams5169 7 років тому +224

    Can you do "If Acne Cream Commercials Were Honest" video?

    • @df5687
      @df5687 7 років тому +3

      they do say unsightly red spots, and dont show acne infested faces only seen in special effects xD

    • @0Regnier
      @0Regnier 7 років тому +10

      Oh god... I remember when Proactiv was really big, even though you could get the same damn effect from any cream with benzoyl peroxide in it. They made people pay like 40$ for something they could get for 5$. lol

    • @alfa0i0omega
      @alfa0i0omega 7 років тому +4

      X is your body giving you a clue that something is not right. So instead of fixing the problem let's just use Y to lessen the X instead of actually curing it. - 90% of medical products.

    • @Grunchy005
      @Grunchy005 7 років тому +1

      What's the $5 benzoyl peroxide alternative? I never tried any of that stuff, I thought it was an elaborate joke!

    • @0Regnier
      @0Regnier 7 років тому +5

      Grunchy It wasn't, it actually sort of works, a little. But one of the side-effects was that it could dry out your skin pretty bad, which is arguably worse for your skin than a few zits or acne.
      As for the cheapo alternative, I think it was Oxy maximum. But yeah, I remember seeing somewhere that a few of the proactiv alternatives had the same success rate and effect. Even at a cheap price though, I'd look for alternatives.

  • @MastaChafa
    @MastaChafa 3 роки тому +23

    We put so much attention to the shape of our bodies than we often forget they are doing the most important thing ever; they are keeping us alive.

    • @pandakatiefominz
      @pandakatiefominz 3 роки тому

      Although it is important to remember the shape can be tied to health. Your waist to hip ratio is a legitimately good indicator of health, because although being overweight at all is unhealthy, regardless of where your fat stores, having an excess of abdominal fat is more unhealthy, because it is likely storing as visceral fat which will choke your organs. So like, yeah, if you're like, "Ugh, I need to lose 5 pounds this summer!" that's a problem and you're holding yourself to unrealistic expectations, but if you're 20+ lbs overweight there is likely an actual problem. It's really common for people, nowadays, to need to lose 40, 60, 80, or even over 100 lbs., and at that point it isn't just "the shape of your body," your organs and joints are severely at risk.
      Obviously the flip side is true, too, and if you're too thin you'll have issues, but generally speaking when people talk about diet companies, we're talking about people who are overweight or obese.

  • @Greencastles23
    @Greencastles23 Рік тому +10

    "You'll piss out your poop hole!" Lololololol!!!! These vids have the BEST lines! Somebody deserves an award just for those, lol!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @salehalsayaad
    @salehalsayaad 5 років тому +501

    Do "if sugar alternatives' companies were honest"

    • @psalmy26
      @psalmy26 4 роки тому +2

      It's already been done ua-cam.com/video/Mf82FfX-wuU/v-deo.html

    • @BigUriel
      @BigUriel 4 роки тому +18

      There are no "sugar alternatives companies" in the sense that you're implying (ie "big sweetener").
      Sugar alternatives are not patent protected and any half decent chemist can make them. They are cheap to produce and effective at such tiny doses that there's not a lot of money to be made from them.
      They are also perfectly safe for human consumption. Safer than sugar in most cases, when you consider that obesity is a leading cause of morbidity and mortality in developed countries, and unlike the sugar you would have consumed instead the sweeteners don't make you any fatter.

    • @mialon5573
      @mialon5573 4 роки тому +9

      @@BigUriel But the problem is that your body does not get the sugar it expects. "Big load of sugar incoming! Start storing blood sugar!" Few minutes later: "WHERE IS IT? EMERGENCY I'M STARVING! LOW BLOOD SUGAR! EAT EAT EAT!"

    • @psalmy26
      @psalmy26 4 роки тому +22

      @@mialon5573 studies don't validate that. At least, none I've seen when searching for it. It should be easy to replicate, have something of a dose response, and be way more that p.05 in test groups. Yet, we don't have any evidence showing that.
      Aka, until it's substantiated by studies replicating that claim, that's an ol wives tale.

    • @Sanguinarius9999
      @Sanguinarius9999 4 роки тому

      Any basis to the rumours the sugar alternatives increase cancer rates more than sugar...

  • @nicobambino191
    @nicobambino191 7 років тому +241

    If Politicians were honest

    • @josephwelch547
      @josephwelch547 7 років тому +13

      Kuma Sama That video would be days long!

    • @Grunchy005
      @Grunchy005 7 років тому +6

      If government was honest

    • @SuperAtheist
      @SuperAtheist 7 років тому +7

      we're going to steel your money via taxes and redistribute most of it to hookers and drug dealers.
      we will give a little to the poor but not enough to make them less dependent on the government.

    • @josegomez6549
      @josegomez6549 7 років тому

      Kuma Sama You don't want Roger to die of Six Barbells to the Back, now, do you?

    • @negascoot23
      @negascoot23 7 років тому +6

      Kuma Sama They did that one...
      Well, presidential candidates at least.

  • @LucidDreamer54321
    @LucidDreamer54321 Рік тому +7

    "Mmm chemicals" Everything we eat is chemicals.

  • @annasherosky
    @annasherosky 4 роки тому +146

    It's the truth I'm sorry people there is no easy fast way to lose weight it's a lot of hard work and watching what you eat

    • @manuelantuna26
      @manuelantuna26 4 роки тому +1

      I could recomend Keto.. but after a good period of time your T3 and T4 are gonna be sow low that your Dr may prescribe you tyroid medication forever :D

    • @JK-gp2rh
      @JK-gp2rh 4 роки тому +2

      And watching how much you eat

    • @kaitlynlindsay4143
      @kaitlynlindsay4143 3 роки тому +13

      I've seen a keto person wolf down bacon but wouldn't touch a carrot. I was like no way this is healthy...

    • @manuelantuna26
      @manuelantuna26 3 роки тому

      @@kaitlynlindsay4143
      "Healthy" is overrated when you compare it with "sexy"

    • @kaitlynlindsay4143
      @kaitlynlindsay4143 3 роки тому +1

      @@manuelantuna26 ?

  • @jkfecke
    @jkfecke 7 років тому +119

    Cracked continues to be America's most reliable source of news.

    • @df5687
      @df5687 7 років тому +1

      next too infowars lol

    • @alfa0i0omega
      @alfa0i0omega 7 років тому +4

      No offense to Cracked but let's take a moment to think how pathetic that is.

    • @Grunchy005
      @Grunchy005 7 років тому +8

      Only the King's jester is permitted to speak the truth

    • @VeganGoddess79
      @VeganGoddess79 7 років тому

      Best youtube comment ever!

    • @joemartin6078
      @joemartin6078 7 років тому +2

      not really, no news source can truly be reliable. the most reliable just means that you think they are lying to you less then the others, the truth is they are all lying to you equally. now i feel like the gay frogs guy from info wars.......... great *sarcastically.* i'm even reading this in his voice.........

  • @riddle1522
    @riddle1522 7 років тому +661

    "gluten free meat" LMAO XD

    • @csabaszep8162
      @csabaszep8162 5 років тому +63

      @The V word It's so funny because meat is naturally gluten free. That was the whole joke.

    • @EduardoEscarez
      @EduardoEscarez 5 років тому +27

      @The V word There's a trend of selling naturally gluten-free products as "gluten free" like it there were gluten eggs or meat of something similar xD

    • @theemotionalremix
      @theemotionalremix 5 років тому +5

      How about no meat like me? I'm a vegetarian. And you can easily substitute meat for beans and nuts (not peanuts) and you can substitute regular chocolate for dark chocolate and protein bars.

    • @jilliansmith7123
      @jilliansmith7123 5 років тому +10

      I just bought a chocolate candy shaped like the Millennium Falcon, and on the label it said, "gluten free." Yeah, 'cause chocolate has SO MUCH gluten in it!
      NONE.

    • @irened.
      @irened. 5 років тому +9

      @@theemotionalremix In fact, like you, I have substituted meat FOR gut-destroying disgusting, nasty-tasting beans and meat I have substituted FOR lethally allergenic nuts, thank you very much: like you I call myself a vegetarian because I also know how to play vocabulary games and it makes me sound very cool but I eat animals at every meal including snacks. They're so much easier to digest, I can't eat much of anything else anyway. Most vegetables are toxic when they're not gut destroying and no soaking doesn't help those conditions.

  • @cracked
    @cracked 3 роки тому +35

    First new Honest Ads since 2017 now live here!!! ua-cam.com/video/_riGg2BW8Jw/v-deo.html

    • @franksnowboarder
      @franksnowboarder 3 роки тому

      Do higher Horton on windows 11

    • @franksnowboarder
      @franksnowboarder 3 роки тому

      Do Rodger Horton on apple scanning photos

    • @John2r1
      @John2r1 3 роки тому

      Um you didn't mention the fitness instructors that are hired to say that x diet works. To the average joe while their entire job is to workout and do commercials selling everything from diets to the shake weight. Knowing full well that shit doesn't work and it's not how they got in the shape they are in.

  • @jamesmason7979
    @jamesmason7979 7 років тому +68

    "Piss out your poop hole." Yep, this video is already an early contender for the best Cracked video of 2017.

    • @lelanakitt4095
      @lelanakitt4095 5 років тому +1

      Lol....all you really need for that is some magnesium citrate from walmart

  • @Sabrowsky
    @Sabrowsky 7 років тому +144

    3:56 roger turns into palpatine

    • @tyrigrut
      @tyrigrut 7 років тому +4

      Sabrowsky do it

    • @teenagemutantturd
      @teenagemutantturd 7 років тому

      Bob dew et

    • @Norm604
      @Norm604 7 років тому +9

      He would make a great Sith Lord...

    • @juiceboxbento
      @juiceboxbento 7 років тому +3

      Darth Roger could become the Senate and I'd be OK with it

    • @negascoot23
      @negascoot23 7 років тому +16

      Hi, I'm Darth Horton, but you can call me Emperor Roger.
      And I'm going to tell you how the Dark Lords of the Sith are going to fix your ancient, crumbling bureaucracy and bring order to the Galaxy.
      First I'll convince you to blame the current Supreme Chancellor for everything wrong with the Republic. Probably by manipulating some gullible aliens into occupying an innocent planet for no discernible reason.
      Once the Chancellor is removed with a vote of no confidence, I will be installed as his replacement without any need for trifles like public support or the democratic process.
      THEN, through various intermediaries I will convince half of you that the Republic is evil and declaring independence is your only option, and the other half that in order to safeguard peace and unity, a vast army of clones must be formed....
      But this is technically beyond the scope of the Supreme Chancellor's authority, and none of you wanna be the one responsible for suggesting we abandon democracy in favor of a military dictatorship. So I'll just find the biggest moron in the Senate to suggest it for you.
      And you will gladly support the idea--even if it comes from a 7 foot tall retarded duck-lizard.
      Once you have effectively made the Republic a Totalitarian state, ten years of bloody, exhausting galactic war will follow...a war which I will control both sides of...
      And when you're sufficiently beaten and demoralized, I'll end the war, outlaw democracy, and establish my regime as an Empire...
      And you will LOVE me for it.
      Oh, and while you're not looking, I'll have the Jedi assassinated by the very clone soldiers they lead into battle.
      Much fewer of you will be upset by this than you might think....
      I'm Roger by the way...
      NOW KNEEL BEFORE YOUR EMPEROR!

  • @justagirllookingup
    @justagirllookingup 4 роки тому +6

    yep there will never be a healthy commercial gimmick diet because if it worked the money would stop rolling in. Love this channel!!

  • @gnnascarfan2410
    @gnnascarfan2410 Рік тому +1

    1:30 Genuinely almost choked on my water and laughed for a solid 30 seconds at the Fogle reference.

  • @sphamandlankosi6746
    @sphamandlankosi6746 7 років тому +40

    "Back in the 90s I was in a very famous TV show."

  • @coreymerrill3257
    @coreymerrill3257 7 років тому +403

    i DARE you to do one about the oil industry.

    • @justinbailey2419
      @justinbailey2419 5 років тому +2

      corey merrill Yes!

    • @bart7729
      @bart7729 5 років тому +11

      The oil industry doesn’t have ads and doesn’t say much

    • @XHALE303
      @XHALE303 5 років тому +10

      @@bart7729 I'm pretty sure Shell, Exxon, Chevron, BP etc, do have ads, who are all part of big oil

    • @Manuel-pd9kf
      @Manuel-pd9kf 5 років тому

      @@bart7729 they have some

    • @bonsouthall960
      @bonsouthall960 4 роки тому +2

      These oil companies help get you home to your family safely because you choose good quality fossil fuels

  • @JJ33438
    @JJ33438 4 роки тому +6

    I love this guy....would love to have a friend like him!!!!! so straight forward! so truthful.

  • @carosamchwa3081
    @carosamchwa3081 4 роки тому +58

    I got an ad for nutrisystem before this video started🤣

    • @riverraisin1
      @riverraisin1 3 роки тому

      I hope you patronized the advertiser. It's what keeps UA-cam videos coming

    • @zylemferzem2707
      @zylemferzem2707 3 роки тому

      @@riverraisin1 wtf is wrong with you

  • @mcawesome4150
    @mcawesome4150 7 років тому +69

    Do a "If Every Life Coach/Motivational Speaker Was Honest"

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 7 років тому +59

    Ok. I admit it. I ate my keyboard while watchi...

    • @_Everything_is_Fine_
      @_Everything_is_Fine_ 7 років тому +3

      how you type after you ate it?

    • @df5687
      @df5687 7 років тому +9

      he burped

    • @pappaOfswe
      @pappaOfswe 7 років тому +1

      Maby he swollowed it whole so he can still type on it.

    • @joemartin6078
      @joemartin6078 7 років тому

      he used his smart phone, it doesn't use keyboards, or he has that keyboard program that uses the mouse/screen as a keyboard.

  • @pninnabokov3734
    @pninnabokov3734 Рік тому +6

    This man is a gem!

  • @user-je7pp2wg3m
    @user-je7pp2wg3m 4 роки тому +30

    Water is made of chemicals. Can we stop misusing the word chemicals

    • @jonpaulknights3460
      @jonpaulknights3460 3 роки тому +9

      Water is a chemical rather than made up of chemicals. The implication though is that chemicals are artificially made, I’d describe water as a compound.

    • @goryguy5106
      @goryguy5106 3 роки тому +4

      @@jonpaulknights3460 It would be a chemical compound, yes. You just forgot that chemical is short for chemical compound, and compound is short for chemical compound.

    • @goryguy5106
      @goryguy5106 3 роки тому +5

      Right? Wish we could get people to stop misusing the word diet, too. Literally, whatever you eat is your diet.

  • @TetraSky
    @TetraSky 7 років тому +35

    The only real "diet" out there... is eating healthy, in normal portions, and exercising.

    • @IndustrialBonecraft
      @IndustrialBonecraft 7 років тому +8

      But does it come with a badge or an app? Because if it doesn't come with an a badge or an app then I'm not subscribing, because I need to be constantly coddled and told I'm a good person or my ego will devour me. Oooh, speaking of which, does it have a social media page?

    • @angryreader8857
      @angryreader8857 7 років тому +3

      IndustrialBonecraft No, but look at the three million add of healthy cool young people drinking coke! I wanna be like them! I associate that syrup-drink with refreshment instead of diabetes! Yay capitalism!

  • @ohmyflippiningod
    @ohmyflippiningod 7 років тому +444

    I think you guys will enjoy my diet program. It's called the "Eat Less, Move More" diet!

    • @madcat789
      @madcat789 7 років тому +36

      No no, don't buy his diety diet diet, buy MY diety diet diet. It's called "Eat Ass" and it really works!

    • @mickeynotmouse
      @mickeynotmouse 7 років тому +22

      I've been on madcat789's diet for about a year now. I'm not sure if I'm losing weight bud damn I'm hooked!

    • @vianeyboruel504
      @vianeyboruel504 7 років тому

      madcat789 lol

    • @vianeyboruel504
      @vianeyboruel504 7 років тому +3

      mickeynotmouse lmfao

    • @Evija3000
      @Evija3000 7 років тому +15

      Is it from the same line as the economics program "Don't buy stuff you can't afford"?

  • @ecdact
    @ecdact 4 роки тому +5

    “But if these celebs and average joes don’t do it for you, we’ll just shame you.” I’m CRYING 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Jess-jt4zf
    @Jess-jt4zf 3 роки тому +10

    "Anyway... Beat it, *monster* !"

  • @vasectomyfail442
    @vasectomyfail442 7 років тому +89

    i just wanna be skinny!!! *drinks 24 ounces of starbucks while sitting in traffic for 6 hours to drive a distance of 1.2 miles for 8 hours of sitting at work*

    • @Carbonoid1
      @Carbonoid1 5 років тому +1

      This is exactly a perfect description of my ex, every time I tried to explain this to her she would get mad at me LOL

    • @legrandliseurtri7495
      @legrandliseurtri7495 4 роки тому

      6 HOURS?!!

  • @jMcWill781
    @jMcWill781 7 років тому +82

    Do "If Honest Ads were Honest with Us"

  • @madmadge2532
    @madmadge2532 3 роки тому +3

    "because my garbage puff bar made you crave sugar"
    I actually fell for this a few years back and, yes, those garbage bars DO make you crave sugar!

  • @melissacooper8724
    @melissacooper8724 Рік тому +6

    I feel sorry for the actor who had to potray Jared Fogle in this video!

  • @Studeb
    @Studeb 7 років тому +51

    Poor schmuck who had to play Jared, hope he got paid well. :)

  • @Sirnicksalot813
    @Sirnicksalot813 7 років тому +18

    All the shade that was thrown at Jared😅😂😂.

  • @goldycorn4229
    @goldycorn4229 4 роки тому +15

    "Mmmmm chemicals" 😂

  • @doublezero2001
    @doublezero2001 3 роки тому +4

    I remember when people played videogames for plot, not badges 😂

  • @davidbailey4255
    @davidbailey4255 7 років тому +217

    Do one on doctors prescribing high priced meds just to get a kickback from the drug makers.

    • @wholeNwon
      @wholeNwon 6 років тому +17

      Kickbacks are rare. The real problem is that docs very rarely know anything about the retail prices of the drugs they prescribe.

    • @pmarie2003
      @pmarie2003 5 років тому +5

      overheard at the hospital where I work, "My mom's kidneys were fine until they added the 14th med."

    • @ahtoshkaa
      @ahtoshkaa 5 років тому +3

      @@wholeNwon Every doctor knows this, it is one of the most basic facts that you learn in pharmacology classes (brand-name drugs vs generic).
      Kickbacks are extremely wide spread. This is the primary reason why doctors prescribe brand-name drugs rather than generics.

    • @wholeNwon
      @wholeNwon 5 років тому +3

      @@ahtoshkaa Yes, every doc knows that brand name drugs are usually vastly more expensive than generics and the same brand name drugs sold elsewhere in the world are much cheaper than in the US. And Congress protects the drug rackets' massive profits. That's where the real kickback and payoffs are. If by kickbacks to docs you mean the payment of money for prescriptions written, I have never seen that in the last 48 years. And I'm intimately familiar with a large number of medical practices. However, I have asked many physicians what they think the prices of specific brand name drugs are for uninsured patients and have yet to get a response that is even close to the prices charged! Often they off by factors of 10 or more for some of these things. Even worse, some of these drugs are of very marginal value.

    • @victoriamatthews8717
      @victoriamatthews8717 4 роки тому

      Please.

  • @MamaMOB
    @MamaMOB 7 років тому +52

    I love Roger. He is my favorite person i'm not related to.

  • @kartofff
    @kartofff 5 років тому

    Maybe the best you've made so far. Nothing hidden, nothing revealed, just time-warping what we all observe in real life and making patterns clear.

  • @piper888
    @piper888 3 роки тому +13

    $3000000 is hell of a motivation to stay on a fad diet and lose the weight

  • @maxamillion1314
    @maxamillion1314 7 років тому +163

    Mmmm chemicals

  • @geoffreysorkin5774
    @geoffreysorkin5774 7 років тому +7

    I'm on the drink water and walk diet. When combined with the "eat less move more diet", it creates incredible results

  • @jalan8171
    @jalan8171 4 роки тому +6

    Suggested presentation- Buying new golf equipment every season will turn you into a golf professional!

  • @JazzComedian79
    @JazzComedian79 3 роки тому +3

    I love ❤️ all the Cracked honest ad’s I watch! So honest! Humour and sometimes include facts lol 😂

  • @FuzzyPuppet
    @FuzzyPuppet 7 років тому +164

    I love this series so much I thumbs it up before I even watch the video!!!

  • @sanjeevkushwaha4043
    @sanjeevkushwaha4043 5 років тому +41

    If motivational speakers were honest.

  • @mysterygirl30011
    @mysterygirl30011 Рік тому +2

    "Fat free sugary chocolate-covered stale puffed rice sback bar" 😅

  • @poophead4012
    @poophead4012 5 років тому +8

    I so wish they would show these videos to kids in school.

  • @tdl487
    @tdl487 5 років тому +8

    I have a friend that said her new diet is her replacing one of her meals with a chocolate Boost drink then a few hours later watched her scarf down a cheese with no veggies and complained how gross my salad is... I was like"Good luck with that!"

    • @riverraisin1
      @riverraisin1 3 роки тому +1

      A chocolate boost drink loaded with sugar.

  • @suckmyvenom
    @suckmyvenom 7 років тому +68

    If bottled water companies were honest.

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 6 років тому +2

      SPOILER ALERT :
      If bottled water companies were honest, they charge you a hundred times the cost for something indistinguishable (even by lab tests) from New York City tap water and a f***ing plastic bottle... So continue enjoying your dilluted piss and bleach (now with BPA) and paying through the nose for the single most abundant natural resource ON THE PLANET! :o)
      Your therapist can thank me later...

    • @nightcollapse
      @nightcollapse 6 років тому +1

      suckmyvenom OH MY GOD, YES. This needs to be said. Nesquik has an vice grip on the water industry and with their baby meals it's ruining 3rd world countries

  • @heatherlowe7330
    @heatherlowe7330 2 роки тому +3

    Love this channel. It's all so true and his delivery is hilarious 😆

  • @dmoon7348
    @dmoon7348 3 роки тому +1

    These are always the best!
    Thanks for the laughs 😄👍

  • @GrowlyGal
    @GrowlyGal 7 років тому +11

    It's funny, I've been trying different diets since high school and now have just been treating my calories like a budget and had more success than anything else I've ever done. It always throws me off when people ask me what diet I'm using. It feels silly now, but I wish I had realized years ago that all I had to do was just not overeat.

  • @GusHersey_Kuleanapono
    @GusHersey_Kuleanapono 7 років тому +69

    happy new year Roger!!!!!!!

  • @_Jai_
    @_Jai_ Рік тому +4

    1:01 he wanted to laugh so bad. 😂

  • @chezshirecat1872
    @chezshirecat1872 4 роки тому +2

    I just love this actor, his sarcasm is perfect

  • @samuelbaugh4952
    @samuelbaugh4952 7 років тому +874

    1: Eat more Vegetables
    2: Eat less Sugar
    3: Exercise
    IT'S NOT HARD PEOPLE. THAT'S LITERALLY ALL YOU NEED TO DO TO BE WAY HEALTHIER.

    • @7777anonymous
      @7777anonymous 7 років тому +220

      Samuel Baugh I now drink diet soda and add extra lettuce to my cheeseburgers. I feel healthier already.

    • @xinic5
      @xinic5 7 років тому +68

      Cool going to add vegetables to my breakfast of bacon, with more bacon covered in bits of bacon.

    • @samuelbaugh4952
      @samuelbaugh4952 7 років тому +48

      xinic5 That's the spirit

    • @zakosist
      @zakosist 6 років тому +12

      Yet, but the amount of all these, still have to be specified for some people, like its not enough to work out like twice a week for example

    • @andrewerickson7962
      @andrewerickson7962 6 років тому +16

      You missed the main point im sorry some people will never get to or be able to maintain a chisled physic get over it move on and pass me a donut!

  • @Loader2K1
    @Loader2K1 7 років тому +20

    I LOLed at that blatant jab at Jared Fogle. Keep up the good work making evil funny, Mr. Horton.

  • @denos.2688
    @denos.2688 2 роки тому

    Love these videos

  • @xenawright4717
    @xenawright4717 5 років тому +13

    I think this video just changed my life. Wtf.

  • @WAQWBrentwood
    @WAQWBrentwood 7 років тому +45

    I lost 100 pounds...... With a British bookie!

  • @dontcallmelil8619
    @dontcallmelil8619 7 років тому +148

    Eating anything is technically eating 'chemicals'

    • @ZenNaster
      @ZenNaster 7 років тому +10

      dihydrogen monoxide is water

    • @pablo9234
      @pablo9234 6 років тому +19

      i think that was the joke

    • @wholeNwon
      @wholeNwon 6 років тому +13

      ZenNaster
      Wow, she couldn't slip that one past someone as smart as you.

    • @fenrirgg
      @fenrirgg 5 років тому +2

      Yeah, but you and me and everybody know what she was talking about -_-

    • @wholeNwon
      @wholeNwon 5 років тому

      fenrirgg
      You and I, not "me".

  • @plecavalier836
    @plecavalier836 3 роки тому

    Roger, you're a freaking LEGEND!!!!
    You have my vote

  • @jameswallace5967
    @jameswallace5967 5 років тому

    I absolutely love these vidoes!

  • @mommawemad3it975
    @mommawemad3it975 7 років тому +18

    man these honest ads are brutal😆😆😆

  • @fryingenigmas5456
    @fryingenigmas5456 7 років тому +13

    Thank god cracked is just as cynical as me 😂😂😂 love this series

  • @nickbush3656
    @nickbush3656 5 років тому +19

    2:27 2:27 Look at his hand, it turns
    2:27 2:27 grey when he throws it

  • @youssefkenzeddine5515
    @youssefkenzeddine5515 2 роки тому +1

    Thank god there's still people like Cracked 😁👍🏽

  • @johnyliltoe
    @johnyliltoe 7 років тому +11

    Wizards first rule: People will believe anything as long as they want it to be true or they fear it is true.