Bridget makes a good point that it affects even adult children. I have 2 friends whose parents divorced when they were college-age or older. It still really affected them. One hardly talks to either parent; the other is close to her mother but not her father. What many divorcing couples don't realize is that kids will sometimes divorce you once they are grown. You have demonstrated to them that you can leave family members you don't love/get along with anymore. I taught for 7 years, and I didn't realize how toxic parent divorce was for kids until I had a student whose parents were actually co-parenting well. They always both attended school/dance class events together, sat together, and were comfortable in each other's presence. The child didn't have to go back and forth between parents who sat 50 feet away from each other during school events. She didn't have to have 2 of everything so parents could have their own special time with her, unsullied by the presence of their child's other parent. As Bridget said, so many kids have to manage their parents' emotions after a divorce. Out of the at least 100 kids I taught with divorced parents, exactly one had healthy co-parenting.
"What many divorcing couples don't realize is that kids will sometimes divorce you once they are grown" As a child of divorce, this is something that I have always recognized since being an adult but have never heard anyone else mention. Divorced people almost guarantee that they will not have a great relationship with their children when the children are adults.
Yes my wife expresses interest in divorce when shes angry and Ill say ‘you know how stupid that is? All of us will be worse off, you me and our kid.’ Any resources you have will be gone. Just keep your emotions in check and keep going.
@@watamutha If she's expressing interest in divorce it means she's likely found "options" outside the relationship. She might already have checked out of the marriage.
My ex and I divorced when our kids were 9 and 11 (after 14 yrs married). We did the "nesting" thing for 3 years (in the family home). We had a rental home that she and I went took turns swapping to and fro every week. The reason we didn't just stay together was that she'd had an affair (the ultimate reason for the divorce) and she wanted to pursue that relationship. It was the weirdest, most stressful, heartbreaking experience for me (sharing the same living spaces, but not at the same time...with someone who was once your best-friend/lover...but who'd so easily moved on to someone new), but it was good for the kids who got to stay in the same home till they were 12 and 14. It became too difficult for me, however, and I moved out completely and made the kids swap homes weekly. (This was 8 years ago and they're both in college now.) Probably the main point in my posting this was just to illustrate that it really was "all about her" as per Bridget's comment at 11:18.
My father was the county stud and was very much wanted by my mother, until marriage and me; until she got him. She gave me up, with my grandmother being effectively my mother. She ditched my father and called him violent(he wasn't). She later had me back(was happy with my grandparents), dragging me around refuges to get another house. New guy(total loser) used to go to guy, drink protein shake and then be like: "Ur exactly like Ur father!" When I used to look to my mother for help, she would say something like: "U are exactly like Ur father!" Used to lock myself in the toilet crying and counting how many beatings I owed him when I'm bigger. I got bigger(The men in my family r over over 6ft and strong and explosive). Was about 12yo when he had to change to passive aggressive and due to an almighty hiding(don't know what he used to do at the gym, as I was only bout 5ft 2 and skinny😂). I had shafted my father hoping that my mother would actually like me. I wanted to reconnect with my father, but as I had shafted him and was too afraid to face him, I didn't. He died of an overdose on my 25th birthday. Don't put it off due to fear/shame; My father had spent every day hoping that I would reconnect. Too late now!
Modern culture lies to people saying that their feelings are always right and there’s nothing more important than personal happiness. It also teaches us to embrace a cavalier attitude about relationships making them ever more shallow. They say that if you aren’t happy, that it’s no big deal, just get a divorce. But all too often that’s not how it works. Divorces have consequences. Don’t treat it casually.
It affects the spouses to. I had both parents, but my spouse did not...the profound differences in how we deal with challenges in our marriage and with our child always seem to have roots in his lack of a two parent family.
I can confirm that as a male with only one parent, even if the situation was caused not by divorce but fathers dead (me beiing 6), the way of thinking in familial and everyday matters is completely different. I very much tend to solve and decide everything alone sometimes without letting know. Not out of disrespect, but simply it doesn't come to mind and often I am surprised there is a problem with it, especially when the common good was achieved,( so why do you need to know anything)?
Why would say that you wish your parents were divorced? As long as you’re wishing things, why don’t you wish that your parents would love each other and get along?
My parents got divorced when I was 19. It precipitated a few years of spiraling addiction for me. The research suggests that divorce is always stressful for children and shouldn't be the first choice. Cases where a divorce will put a stop to shouting and hitting or living with an addict, it's probably necessary.
My step mother not only poisoned my father and got away with it, but she refused me permission to attend his funeral, and to know where he was buried. She was just a nasty person, but there is no law against being a nasty person.
If your spouse is an absolute child, is more interested in his’band’ or ‘team’ or ‘buddies’, nesting could work- if the adult spouse can have their own space. It’s the best but maybe not great, especially if you have to clean up every time you come back to the kids.
How attractive is divorce when there is no WIC, SNAP, court ordered alimony, court ordered child support, government assistant housing, or child tax credits?
Women want to have it all. They want to divorce when it suits them and they want to do it guilt free. No wonder there are countless articles on the subject. Men might want to run off with the secretary but they don’t tend to pretend that they’re doing it for the kids.
Well not pretending doesn't make it any better lol. You made a moot point here. No matter how you justify it, for your kids it's just broken family now.
The only benefit today is getting to complain about the other with them. Otherwise, I wish I could see both of them at Christmas. And I’m not even religious.
Women initiate the vast majority of divorces, and the most common reason is she is not happy or fulfilled.. I wish it would be addressed by channels like this.
Divorce is primarily a female phenomenon. One that everyone else has to deal with. All while the women cope and brag about how awesome their divorce was online.
Ok, people. The observations in this video are true about the effects of "divorce", except that marriage itself does not exist anymore. When two people get "married" today, it is from the "I do" moment understood unconsciously and unspokenly as a conditional situation. Every day in the "marriage" is a new decision to continue with that person. Or not to continue. This is so extremely different from the experience of people in say, 1870, that it does not qualify as being a version of the same sort of thing. Yes, you could get a divorce in 1870 but you had to show that the other person had failed to live up to their side of the marriage contract... or you didn't get a divorce. Some people today decide to live together and legally share their property, and then, just by random chance, some of them continue to do so until they die. that's all we have now. Marriage is dead.
@@theskyizblue2day431 Women who honestly married a man and he fathered children, then he secretly crossdressed and betrayed her sexually, and often in my data, physically assaulted her, are WEIRDO? who and what and where? A woman whose husband got drunk and beat her is allowed to divorce. A woman whose husband suddenly demands she plays out his sexual fetish and put on a DILDO is just GARNERING SYMPATHY? For information to inform your brutal attitude towards trans widows, UA-cam channel, Trans Widow Ute Heggen, data on 65 trans widows' experiences. If you are a troll, I have already been told to take myself up the top of a tall building and jump off, I have already been told to lie myself down on the mid line of a highway at rush hour, and so on and so on with fire arms. Get over yourself and your radical Left Marxist belief that men who are born male have equal opportunity. That means your great granddaughters will give up a uterus. Get real, lady
@@theskyizblue2day431 I have data on 65 trans widows who did not have a choice to stay. I am not "garnering" sympathy. In 26 of these women's lives, the dress wearing husband sexually assaulted her and strangulation is something they do, because "choking' is in porn videos they watch. Kamala Harris claim "inmates" with this pyschiatric illness deserve tax payer funded "sex reassignment" surgeries. The case she personally intervened in is triple murderer, Skylar Deleone, formerly John Jacobson Jr. --He killed a married couple in cold blood, strapped them to an anchor when he posed as a buyer for their boat. Pushed them off into the water to drown. Co-conspirators took pleas and testified against him. Just prior to those murders, he murdered John Jarvi by slitting his throat and letting him die in front of him, for $10k he stole from him to pay for surgeries. Kier Anderson strangled his wife to death while their 2 young daughters slept. His claim she hung herself fell apart and he pled guilty. 25 to Life CA taxpayers, same deal. "My deadname did it!" they claim. Want to find more? Like in MN, Mich, Indiana, Wisconsin? dot org called reduxx
Bridget makes a good point that it affects even adult children. I have 2 friends whose parents divorced when they were college-age or older. It still really affected them. One hardly talks to either parent; the other is close to her mother but not her father. What many divorcing couples don't realize is that kids will sometimes divorce you once they are grown. You have demonstrated to them that you can leave family members you don't love/get along with anymore.
I taught for 7 years, and I didn't realize how toxic parent divorce was for kids until I had a student whose parents were actually co-parenting well. They always both attended school/dance class events together, sat together, and were comfortable in each other's presence. The child didn't have to go back and forth between parents who sat 50 feet away from each other during school events. She didn't have to have 2 of everything so parents could have their own special time with her, unsullied by the presence of their child's other parent. As Bridget said, so many kids have to manage their parents' emotions after a divorce. Out of the at least 100 kids I taught with divorced parents, exactly one had healthy co-parenting.
"What many divorcing couples don't realize is that kids will sometimes divorce you once they are grown"
As a child of divorce, this is something that I have always recognized since being an adult but have never heard anyone else mention. Divorced people almost guarantee that they will not have a great relationship with their children when the children are adults.
Yes my wife expresses interest in divorce when shes angry and Ill say ‘you know how stupid that is? All of us will be worse off, you me and our kid.’ Any resources you have will be gone. Just keep your emotions in check and keep going.
@@watamutha If she's expressing interest in divorce it means she's likely found "options" outside the relationship. She might already have checked out of the marriage.
@@jonnjones8263 I dont think thats it, she says it out of anger and it dies out in a few days. Shes just trying to claim power.
My ex and I divorced when our kids were 9 and 11 (after 14 yrs married). We did the "nesting" thing for 3 years (in the family home). We had a rental home that she and I went took turns swapping to and fro every week. The reason we didn't just stay together was that she'd had an affair (the ultimate reason for the divorce) and she wanted to pursue that relationship. It was the weirdest, most stressful, heartbreaking experience for me (sharing the same living spaces, but not at the same time...with someone who was once your best-friend/lover...but who'd so easily moved on to someone new), but it was good for the kids who got to stay in the same home till they were 12 and 14. It became too difficult for me, however, and I moved out completely and made the kids swap homes weekly. (This was 8 years ago and they're both in college now.) Probably the main point in my posting this was just to illustrate that it really was "all about her" as per Bridget's comment at 11:18.
Bridget and Louise look like sisters
Twins separated at birth.
Right?? They could absolutely be in a Parent Trap sequel. 😂
My father was the county stud and was very much wanted by my mother, until marriage and me; until she got him.
She gave me up, with my grandmother being effectively my mother.
She ditched my father and called him violent(he wasn't).
She later had me back(was happy with my grandparents), dragging me around refuges to get another house.
New guy(total loser) used to go to guy, drink protein shake and then be like: "Ur exactly like Ur father!" When I used to look to my mother for help, she would say something like: "U are exactly like Ur father!"
Used to lock myself in the toilet crying and counting how many beatings I owed him when I'm bigger.
I got bigger(The men in my family r over over 6ft and strong and explosive).
Was about 12yo when he had to change to passive aggressive and due to an almighty hiding(don't know what he used to do at the gym, as I was only bout 5ft 2 and skinny😂).
I had shafted my father hoping that my mother would actually like me.
I wanted to reconnect with my father, but as I had shafted him and was too afraid to face him, I didn't.
He died of an overdose on my 25th birthday.
Don't put it off due to fear/shame; My father had spent every day hoping that I would reconnect.
Too late now!
Wow what a tragic story
Powerful and awful and tragic...
Modern culture lies to people saying that their feelings are always right and there’s nothing more important than personal happiness. It also teaches us to embrace a cavalier attitude about relationships making them ever more shallow. They say that if you aren’t happy, that it’s no big deal, just get a divorce. But all too often that’s not how it works. Divorces have consequences. Don’t treat it casually.
It affects the spouses to. I had both parents, but my spouse did not...the profound differences in how we deal with challenges in our marriage and with our child always seem to have roots in his lack of a two parent family.
I can confirm that as a male with only one parent, even if the situation was caused not by divorce but fathers dead (me beiing 6), the way of thinking in familial and everyday matters is completely different. I very much tend to solve and decide everything alone sometimes without letting know. Not out of disrespect, but simply it doesn't come to mind and often I am surprised there is a problem with it, especially when the common good was achieved,( so why do you need to know anything)?
Really good point about the nesting situations where parents peacefully coparent. If they can collaborate so well why separate at all. Seems fickle
Why would say that you wish your parents were divorced? As long as you’re wishing things, why don’t you wish that your parents would love each other and get along?
My parents got divorced when I was 19. It precipitated a few years of spiraling addiction for me. The research suggests that divorce is always stressful for children and shouldn't be the first choice. Cases where a divorce will put a stop to shouting and hitting or living with an addict, it's probably necessary.
My step mother not only poisoned my father and got away with it, but she refused me permission to attend his funeral, and to know where he was buried. She was just a nasty person, but there is no law against being a nasty person.
How many kids does Bridget have now? Happy she got the life she wanted finally.. she is good people
Fantastic, data-driven clip.
If your spouse is an absolute child, is more interested in his’band’ or ‘team’ or ‘buddies’, nesting could work- if the adult spouse can have their own space. It’s the best but maybe not great, especially if you have to clean up every time you come back to the kids.
Why is Phetasy notable?
How attractive is divorce when there is no WIC, SNAP, court ordered alimony, court ordered child support, government assistant housing, or child tax credits?
Women want to have it all. They want to divorce when it suits them and they want to do it guilt free. No wonder there are countless articles on the subject. Men might want to run off with the secretary but they don’t tend to pretend that they’re doing it for the kids.
Well not pretending doesn't make it any better lol. You made a moot point here. No matter how you justify it, for your kids it's just broken family now.
The only benefit today is getting to complain about the other with them. Otherwise, I wish I could see both of them at Christmas. And I’m not even religious.
Women initiate the vast majority of divorces, and the most common reason is she is not happy or fulfilled..
I wish it would be addressed by channels like this.
Divorce is primarily a female phenomenon. One that everyone else has to deal with. All while the women cope and brag about how awesome their divorce was online.
Ok, people. The observations in this video are true about the effects of "divorce", except that marriage itself does not exist anymore. When two people get "married" today, it is from the "I do" moment understood unconsciously and unspokenly as a conditional situation. Every day in the "marriage" is a new decision to continue with that person. Or not to continue. This is so extremely different from the experience of people in say, 1870, that it does not qualify as being a version of the same sort of thing. Yes, you could get a divorce in 1870 but you had to show that the other person had failed to live up to their side of the marriage contract... or you didn't get a divorce. Some people today decide to live together and legally share their property, and then, just by random chance, some of them continue to do so until they die. that's all we have now. Marriage is dead.
Unfortunately, when two people stay together, who shouldn't have, that can affect their children forever, too.
Please have a trans widow on. Please. This is so selfish.
Selfish? What a weirdo way to garner sympathy.
@@theskyizblue2day431 Women who honestly married a man and he fathered children, then he secretly crossdressed and betrayed her sexually, and often in my data, physically assaulted her, are WEIRDO? who and what and where? A woman whose husband got drunk and beat her is allowed to divorce. A woman whose husband suddenly demands she plays out his sexual fetish and put on a DILDO is just GARNERING SYMPATHY? For information to inform your brutal attitude towards trans widows, UA-cam channel, Trans Widow Ute Heggen, data on 65 trans widows' experiences. If you are a troll, I have already been told to take myself up the top of a tall building and jump off, I have already been told to lie myself down on the mid line of a highway at rush hour, and so on and so on with fire arms. Get over yourself and your radical Left Marxist belief that men who are born male have equal opportunity. That means your great granddaughters will give up a uterus. Get real, lady
…what?
@@theskyizblue2day431 I have data on 65 trans widows who did not have a choice to stay. I am not "garnering" sympathy. In 26 of these women's lives, the dress wearing husband sexually assaulted her and strangulation is something they do, because "choking' is in porn videos they watch. Kamala Harris claim "inmates" with this pyschiatric illness deserve tax payer funded "sex reassignment" surgeries. The case she personally intervened in is triple murderer, Skylar Deleone, formerly John Jacobson Jr. --He killed a married couple in cold blood, strapped them to an anchor when he posed as a buyer for their boat. Pushed them off into the water to drown. Co-conspirators took pleas and testified against him. Just prior to those murders, he murdered John Jarvi by slitting his throat and letting him die in front of him, for $10k he stole from him to pay for surgeries. Kier Anderson strangled his wife to death while their 2 young daughters slept. His claim she hung herself fell apart and he pled guilty. 25 to Life CA taxpayers, same deal. "My deadname did it!" they claim. Want to find more? Like in MN, Mich, Indiana, Wisconsin? dot org called reduxx