People on Men that Cry
Вставка
- Опубліковано 28 лис 2022
- go to buyraycon.com/lahwf for 20% off sitewide! Brought to you by Raycon.
Andrew gets some anecdotes on men crying and being emotionally vulnerable in front of women and whether or not that is a turn off or changes their perception of him as a "man". The reddit post I saved for this was deleted by the Original Poster so there's nothing I can do now but it was spicy. What are your thoughts? experiences?
LITTY merch ▶ www.shoplahwf.com
my socials ▶ coso.me/lahwf
Chatting With Podcast ▶ anchor.fm/chatting-with
business inquires ▶ andrewhalesbusiness@gmail.com
Go to www.buyraycon.com/LAHWF for 20% OFF ❤
Raycons made my ears fall off
where's the reddit post Andrew
@@letterstoalice it got removed I can’t find it
@@LAHWF thanks anyway
Congrats on the deal Andrew!
I cried in front of my ex. She responded in disgust lol. At the beginning of the relationship she said "I don't understand why men feel like they can't be emotional in front of women." Haven't cried in front of a woman since
Faaaacts. Crying in front of women will turn them off. It's biological and they see it as weakness. As much as they say they like a vulnerable man, they will then use you as a puppet because they see you're emotional.
Depends on what you cry for. As always they don't know what they want.
@@eduantech That's what it comes down to lol. Men whine so much because they want everything in black and white and women want fun and excitement. Us men, have to start manning the fuck up. This is a general question video. No chick is gonna be upset with you crying infront of her if you just lost someone in a house fire etc...
@@eduantech nigga women cry over having an item out of stock. So it shouldn’t matter what you cry over.
Glad she’s your ex. Cry when you want, bro. You’re human. No shame.
Cried in front of my girlfriend one time. She responded by giving me a hug and talked through it with me until i felt better. She's cried in front of me many times as well. That was a while ago. She's my fiance now. We'll be married in 105 days.
I cried infront of my ex and she hugged me but then she cheated on me in a threesome the same week.
bro found a gem, congrats 🙏
That's beautiful. I hope you both live a happy and healthy life together.
Pretty weak ngl
God bless you both
I cried in front of my gf once. She got mad, not because I was crying, but because I apologized for it. She started bear hugging me and wouldn’t let me go until I admitted that there’s nothing wrong with crying. That’s when I knew she was a keeper.
W
@@JamesSmith-ix5jd Ah yes, how DARE my gf validate my feelings and comfort me? 🙄
You got a good one bro cherish her I wish I had something like you but it was the total opposite for me
Never knew that the Emperor of Mankind had a gf. Is she an Eldar tho?
@@jyggalag_I don’t mingle with Xenos.
My boss told me how she is trying to raise her son to express his emotions, unlike her brother who is more stoic. She also told me how unattractive it is when her husdband cries. I often see that women will say that want men to be emotional, but in reality they have a visceral reaction to seeing a man they like cry.
Yikes hope your bosses husband is okay
Too many simpletons
Damn
Yeah women don't know wtf they want 90% of the time
And they wonder why young men can't get laid anymore
To my fellow men, my brothers in arms: why would you date a woman that won’t let you cry infront of them?
Because men and women are not the same.
Compromise not every man will be fortunate enough to have a woman that will be okay with it, there simply isn't enough of them to go around. Population would nose dive.
@Jay-qu2bc genuine question, what does that have to do with anything? Yes, men and women have physical differences but at the end of the day we're both just people.
@@dingocheez766no. Women and men are fundamentally different. Same as cultures, religions, nations. To think that after all we are all same is arogance.
I personally see crying as a waste of time so it wouldn't bother me. (Just to clarify I don't judge guys for crying, it's just not my thing)
"Of course men should be vulnerable! If you're not vulnerable, how can we hurt you?" 🙂
Exactly!
Use* might hurt you but the intention is usage not harm
@@blanco7726 Bull💩
@@electric0618 you're just collateral my dude go gym
This some incel shit right here
My husband cried infront of me not even two month into our relationship. He took me on a spontaneous visit to a retirement home where he had worked during the holidays three weeks ago. The caregivers there had to tell us that all of the old people that he´d taken care of had died during these three weeks. He was 16 and I was 15 at that time. After the visit he thanked me for letting him grief and giving him strengh. I came home that night and knew that this guy was for life.
So awesome
Beautiful story. I think this is the exact type of crying that women appreciate in men. Men should cry for others. Especially others that they take care of. It's Beautiful.
@@nomoresunforever3695 But this example is of children, not adults. Although I still believe it's best to act in a similar way to this
If he was man enough to take care of the elderly & stand with them against DEATH at 16, he will have no trouble taking care of you in your golden years.
Married to the person you met at 15 is amazing. I wish I could find someone after reading all of these comments. 🥲
I always found it interesting how we blame the "men don't cry" to other men without asking simply why we say and think this way? Never in my life another man laughed, belittled or mocked me for crying, women on the other hand... I have a strange feeling many of the women here were disingenuous and answered with what should be said rather than what they actually feel like.
There are videos of men agreeing that it is weak and pathetic to cry
ye exactly, I think most women are well-meaning, but when faced with it there's some basic natural instincts kicking in. I think the biggest issue is that most people(men and women) look at someone who is hurting deeply and assume they don't want to heal, that they just want to wallow in it. Some people do that for attention for sure, but serious issues might take years to get over. But then also, ya know, most people are selfish on all sides.
@@msunje9862 and you'd be right, but you missed my main point which is why men care about this to begin with. I'm not putting everything on women's behalf but i don't see why men would care other than "women would find me weak"
They blame it on men because women can’t take accountability. It’s our mothers that raise us to never cry
@@redbarrelentertainment Good point.
I cried in front of my fiancé the other day and she took me to waffle house. Fuck I won.
You got a rare one keep her forever
Damn 😂
@@bibinthomas5282 hey the fact that I know I am loved is a lot to be grateful for lmao was a rough month
You deserve it bro 💯
Treat her right, you got a real one
If a woman you're dating is turned off by you crying, just tell her you're turned off by her bleeding. If she says it's natural just start crying and say it's natural, check mate.
Edit: Holy cow 6k likes look mom I'm popular
Based
Kevin Springer: another one of those non cape wearing heroes
She can't help feeling disgusted by what they perceive as weakness. It doesn't matter what they say. What they FEEL when it happens is all that matters
@Ronald LOL this is like femcels explaining how all men are this this and that. Only a sith deals in absolutes
🔥
When I was in highschool, I had the worst few months of my life. I wasn't sleeping well at all, my anxiety was getting worse every day, and I was struggling in school. It was awful, and I wasn't talking to anyone about it. I ended up breaking down on the couch, just crying and sobbing like nothing else. And my mother, wonderful woman that she is, just sat down next to me and hugged me until I felt better.
I think everyone deserves that kind of person in their life.
I would have loved to have that kind of person in my life on a few occasions. Unfortunately, people can sometimes really be the opposite and make you feel excluded and isolated. But your story is very inspiring, that kind of warmth and trust is really all we need sometimes.
God bless our mothers. This almost made me cry.
I wish i had a mom like that
I wish i had a mom like that
There is a big difference between what women SAY they want/ok with and the way they actually react in those situations.
As a woman myself I'm not gonna lie I would feel out of my depth if a man cried in front of me, but lemme stress that it wouldnt be because I view it as weak/disgusting - bc it isn't, but bc it's a rare thing for me to witness - the amount of times it's happened I can only count on one hand - and so at least for me it's less of a "saying smth i dont actually mean" and more of a "caught off guard and don't know how how they wish to be comforted" thing. I'm not trying to be antagonistic but can u see how it would be difficult for women to know what to do/react "right" when it virtually never happens?
@@moony995No really, I don’t. I’m not trying to be rude, but the guy is crying, not explaining theoretical physics-if you can comfort girls then you can comfort guys.
@@chasewainscott8739 sure i can, I'm just saying it'd be a bit of a shock initially bc im not used to it. I wasn't trying to excuse the women that react cruelly to men crying, sorry if i sounded like that
@@chasewainscott8739brother its better and easier walking through a minefield in Afghanistan than crying in front a woman 😂
@@moony995Really? Everyone I've ever dated has cried in front of me at some point. I don't think it's THAT unusual.
I cried in front of my sister (who's 15 years older) for the first time ever. Afterwards she told my mum I was too weak..
Go to a friend
Lol
Never cry in front of women. It's the best way to lose respect other than outright saying you're a pansy.
Crying after you spilled your bowl of Cheerios is weak
@@matthewp5472 Nah it was after your mother told me she was pregnant with you
Not every girl will mock you for showing emotions. Just most of them.
Facts
For me it's all of them will make a mockery out of me.
@@thevijaykumar it feels that way for me too.
yep
E
12:35 I love that she just kept going and was steadfast in sharing her thoughts despite her friends laughing/possibly making her feel awkward. Shows that she’s confident in herself and she’s clearly smart.
or full of crap lol.. but ye maybe
@@cringocringo yeah i was thinking more along your lines she was trying to get a rise out of her friends feeding off their laughter
Yea they were all lying lol
Cried in front of my mom because she said I couldn't see my crush in high school. She told me to "man up" and proceeded to chastise me for my weakness..."this is why women don't like you." Never opened up to her again. Women use your weakness as ammunition in an argument.
*your mother use your weakness...
That’s just what ma’s do 💪
@@cishets-is-a-scumcope
@xhydracod2938I hope you never have children
@@shaylelarue787 Thats not a good mom
Cried in front of my ex, I had lost my father a few months ago and was scared to lose her too. She said in response to my crying if I was acting. That snapped me out of it and I went cold. That really hurt. Definitely only cry in front of the right girl and if it’s necessary to express your feelings. Otherwise do it in your own private and safe space.
Man sorry for your loss and that shitty experience.
Thats such a disgustingly unhealthy habit though lmao. "Just bottle it up"
If you dont feel comfortable expressing those feelings with your partner, you should talk to them about it. If they scoff at you, kick them to the curb cuz they don't care about your well being.
Cry only with the homies
damn man hope u better
Maybe she asked you if you were acting because there had been months since your father's death, that she found it weird you didn't show emotions before?
i cried in front of my girl, i was emotionally vulnerable in front of her within a few months of dating. we are now 3+ years strong. dont lose hope fellas
Same here but 2+ years here. Vouching rn. Fellas out there, keep going, don’t lose hope.
nah fuck all that
The countdown has begun. Good luck.
2+ years here/Long distance and Can vouch too
Just means she is not a femenine women. Not neceserarely a bad thing, might be confusing it with openness in a relationship.
My wife was somewhat uncomfortable with me crying in front of her at first, but it just took her time to get over her own stuff. Because women are socialized to view men a certain way just like we were socialized to view women a certain way. It didn't take long for her to appreciate my vulnerability. It certainly has made us extremely close and supportive of each other.
I cried in front of an ex about how well she treated me compared to past relationships. She responded with open arms and a calm voice, telling me I didn’t need to thank her for how she treated me, and just held me close and let me talk. Fellow men, it’s ok to cry, we’re human too.
It's such a brutal stab in the back hearing people talk about 'men should be more emotional, they're human beings to' and then being mocked behind your back by the same people for doing just that. F*ck this society, f*ck a relationship, f*ck fake friends.
FACTS 💫💯
You got it all wrong, just be you, attain skills, be healthy & fit, be a man of value for things and people, in turn it will reward you with unparalleled confidence & always do what you want and think is right. Don’t worry about society, women and etc. it will mold to your liking if you do not let it manipulate your emotions. Be on control of your mind, emotions and consciousness. You will then find life is a gift and it’s beautiful. Women never know what they want, it is of no concern for you and all men. Again, Just do your own thing, and your reality will mold itself to your liking. It is only when you let others people and things dictate and control your emotions that you become angry at people, genders and society etc. goodluck brother
Bro take therapy
@@blockminingsolutions bottling your emotions leads to blow ups. This is terrible advice
@@trexasaurus5322 you completely missed everything I wrote. Typical. Nowhere in the statement did it say bottle emotions. It says CONTROL your emotions. It is a choice how you react to anything. If you consciously choose to suppress emotion, it is not good. You have a choice to understand the emotion and let it go, not letting emotions be your master. You master your emotions, thoughts and feelings. Weak people bottle emotions. Aware people understand the emotions and let them go and move on.
If someone I’m dating sees it as a red flag, it tells me to get the fuck out. Showing any vulnerability is a sign of affection, it’s me telling them that “hey I’m being vulnerable, I trust you with my wellbeing because I don’t think that you will hurt me”. If that vulnerability is abused it’s worth the pain to know that she was someone who always would have abused that at some point and it’s better to have known sooner rather than later. It’s a canary in a coal mine for relationships.
If someone sees your vulnerability as a red flag, they automatically show a red flag of being highly toxic. Nobody is interested in these cold, unemotional, non-empathetic female reptilians. It's very healthy to be connected to your emotions and be vulnerable and to be able to cry when needed. There shouldn't ever be a judgment about this from anyone, especially from the person that should be your partner for life. The sick society we live in. So many emotionally disordered people act narcissistically and can't get vulnerable because, for them, it's a sign of weakness. They have personalities that everyone should avoid from miles away.
It's sad that comments like "Never show emotions bro 👊" are getting hundreds of likes and advice like this, is swept under the rug...
Oh well they'll never admit they don't want a vulnerable man. Those that do are honest
better watch some dramas then, gotta try that girl and cry in front of her
This is amazing and healthy advice for people. Self acceptance is the first step. If someone doesnt accept that level of vulnerability, then they dont deserve you plain and simple.
I cried in front of women 3 times. Even though not every one of them I was romantically interested in the relationship deteriorated after it. They didn't treat me the same way anymore.
those 3 at the end who laughed the entire way through the interview definetly lied.
They’re jokes
My brother was holding a speech at his wedding and poured out some words because our mom was depressed since our grandma died 4 days before the wedding. she didnt attend the wedding until then and just when my brother was about to finish his speech my mom was entering the hall in front a quiet crowd of people and my brother couldnt hold back his tears because she managed to get herself together and attend to the most important day of her firstborn child. Almost everyone in the hall could hold back because it was pretty emotional. When I saw that his now-wife cried aswell like a baby and hugged them both dearly - mom and my brother - I realized that a woman that truly loves you will never see you as less or unworthy when you cry infront of her... But! you should ofc not be a whiny sausage either (its a sign of immaturity)
Probably the best story i’ve read in awhile bro
Of course it depends on the situation
Only when someone passes away it's okay to cry like that. A woman will only tolerate a crying man for a while especially if its general depression etc. This occasions are rare sounds like a movie.
You ruined your point at the end bro.
@@TheKillaShowthat’s not contradicting at all. Being able to open up and show emotions =/= throwing a tantrum every time something doesn’t go your way.
People seem to forget that when we came into this world the first thing lots of us do is scream and cry.What can be more natural then crying
What more natural than poop yet it's disgusting. It's not black and white,play your card well. Know when and to whom you can and can not cry. Being always emotional is never good. It's the bitter truth of the world
and you were a lil weak baby too. Women expect us to be a big strong baby boy now
Big strong baby boys can cry but crying in times of turmoil and carrying on with life and maintaining your positive outlook is what makes you a man. Crying is an outlet, just dont whine or cry for every little thing. If a woman resents you for crying then that woman never truly loved you which means you dodged a bullet. If you were in a relationship atleast you already fucked her therefore you already took everything she had to offer. She walks away because you cried then she is walking away carrying your bodily fluids and DNA already inside of her. Her value goes down and your value keeps rising. Stay strong Kings
What about unnatural crying, and people who are smart enough to abuse that…
nope u just hate emotions and want everyone t0 be a zombie like you cus ur scared to open up lose ur ego and u will be fine weirdo@@orangepeeI
I grew up in a matriarchal family and they said don’t cry it’s for babies
"He's gonna make us look like terrible people."
Yeah, about that...
He didn’t have to do much lol
I’m a woman who grew up in a household with men who weren’t afraid to open up and talk about their emotions and cry. So I’ve always felt kind of disconnected from the idea that men shouldn’t cry ‘cause that’s not how I was raised. My father never told my brothers to “man up” whenever they cried, and as an adult, I’m starting to realize how incredibly beneficial that was to not only my brothers, but myself as well. I feel like men and women should work together to dispel this kind of ideology so that we wouldn’t have to worry about these kinds of things that much.
Rule n1, to never take advice from women of how to be a MAN.
@@khalifaelm883 hey, if you wanna bottle up your emotions that’s your choice. You do you.
@@solbutton1611
Don't you think this can actually be harmful to men? When someone says men aren't crying as much as women and that is bad, isn't this like some women trying to make men like them because they feel more emotionally vulnerable than men? And since vulnerability is seen as weakness, so some of those women feel like they are inferior in some way and they want to (equalize that)?
I know that alot of females want some level of vulnerability in their man because it feels like she is special to him and important, but I feel there are some women who just want to (equalize) every thing about men and women, so when they see a high level of vulnerability or weakness in themselves, they want men to have that as much as them.
Also, don't you think a very emotionally vulnerable person will be more likely to throw fits and get angry and emotional with his day to day experience? Is that a good thing?
@@MA-gu2up None of that was my intention, but I get what you’re saying. I have a sense that a lot of people are trying to equalize men and women too much, and I do see the cons in that. My worry with men bottling up their emotions is that when anyone tends to bottle up their emotions, they might not know how to deal with them and react in a poor manner. Kinda gonna get personal, but I used to do that and ended up self-h@rmin& (not sure if YT blocks comments with those words). Despite what I said in my initial comment about my dad and brothers being more vulnerable, it took me a while to be like that myself despite me being the only girl. With depression in particular, I kept that locked within me for years before finally telling my dad about it, and now I see the power of being more open and vulnerable (I do also understand that I’m still a woman and that if a man were to do this, they would still be seen as weak, so my experience is different. But at least you get where I’m coming from). At least with the people you love. I’m not saying dudes should just cry out randomly on the streets. Or that they should cry about every little thing. But if things get overwhelming, then I don’t see any harm in letting that out emotionally, if that’s your thing. If you still don’t wanna be vulnerable, that’s fine. If you do, that’s fine. I just don’t think there should be stigma or teasing towards the guys who do wanna open up more.
@@solbutton1611
I hope you are fine now.
You see, because alot of women can't handle not opening up about their emotional problems and so on, and because women are more susceptible to negative emotions (sadness, anxiety, depression) compared to men, those women think men are the same when it comes to that.
I think you were even more vulnerable than your brothers actually, you probably cried more and so on, but you noticed that your brothers didn't encounter the problems you encountered, and you thought that is because they are more vulnerable than you, well, no , it is because they are less susceptible to negative emotions compared to you actually.
By the way, in the study of depression and so on, did you know that physically stronger people are less likely to be depressed? There is a correlation there.
Vulnerability is defined as quality of being easily harmed physically or emotionally.
According to this definition, women are naturally more vulnerable (physically or emotionally), that is one of the reasons women need to (open up) more, and they also cry more generally speaking.
So I'm not saying men don't need to (open up), in the end, we all have times of weakness and need, but they don't need to (open up) as much as women, because they are less vulnerable to physical and emotional harm.
When some women say (men shouldn't be afraid to open up), it is like you are trying to say that crying is strength!, it is like saying helplessness is strength! That is a contradiction
If someone can't handle things on his/her own , people typically see that as weakness, so alot of men feel that alot of women are sabotaging the word (strength), and attaching it to crying and being helpless, and that is not how we typically see this, the more a person cries and being helpless, that means there is less strength there.
For example, some people can beat their problems without talking to other humans , and others need help from other humans, the former is stronger, and I feel alot of women want to make the latter as the thing that shows strength, and since men don't need as much help as women to solve their problems, alot of men feel like they are called weak because they are handling their problems!! But This is the opposite of weakness!
Some women(especially some feminists) have an inferiority complex, because they want to be equal to man in everything, but because it is clear women are more vulnerable, then those women try to make it so that vulnerability is strength! So that they don't feel inadequate.
If she left you for being vulnerable, she ain't worth it
cool....the majority of women aren't worth it then....glad you cleared that up.
Women deserve strong men not weak little boys
@@tgreeny1400 that's dumb of you to overgeneralize and even if that is actually the case then it's better to be single than with someone that doesn't respect you for being vulnerable like any other human being
No, you're not worth it.
Very true, vulnerability is an investment, not everyone deserves your genuine feelings. As long as you are not constantly venting to her and expecting emotional support 100% of time, if you want to be treated like a person, you got to treat her like you would like to be treated yourself.
I once cried in front od my mom while trying to vent how bad i was feeling recently, she laughed at me and called me pathetic, then started talking about her own problems
Your mother sounds like a sociopath with psychological problems
I wish you a happy time this summer, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through that. Faith in Jesus Christ(if you are Christian) will be your #1 friend. God bless and may the Lord watch over you no matter your religion. Just know you’re special to someone, no matter the situation there will always be someone who cares, you may just have never noticed them. Hope your situation gets better, God bless
Cant remember the author but she was at a book signing for one of her books and the topic of men crying and the like came up and one guy who is getting some books signed for his wife and daughters drops what is probably the hardest quote ive ever heard and it genuinely gave me pause "They would rather see me die on my white horse than fall."
That shit lives with me to this day.
As a side note i have never in my life been cut down more in my life than by women I've shared vulnerabilities with. Not once has any man who has known something truly cutting and turned it on me in the heat of the moment.
Exactly, women are coniving and devious. They enjoy attacking men because they know they can never be at their level. Be careful of devious women looking to tear you down based on some weakness you've revealed.
Men hurt other men in a much more honest and straightforward way, typically through physical violence. It's why I really love wild animals, there is a certain unspoken agreement that if we invade each others space that it can and will get violent.
Women are far more prone to (not so) subtle manipulations.
Oh yes! I remember this author. Her name is brene brown 💕
HOLY F*CK that's a hard quote. I love it and it's true
The book is called "Men, Women, and Worthiness" (by Brené Brown). It goes into some of the reasons why many women can't handle it when men cry despite telling men to open up and be vulnerable in front of them. I know "this book changed my life" is such a cliché, but really, this book DID change my life, how I saw and treated others, and how I treated myself.
My ex-wife told me to stop being a little girl once because I was unhappy that we were growing more distant. I wasn't crying, but I was upset and wanted a serious adult conversation about it. Can't even begin to start showing emotion.
That said, I'm with a girl now that is empathetic and can handle the fact i'm human and can't always be strong.
Women aren't a monolithic entity, just don't waste your time on the shit ones.
That severely limits the dating pool
@@motorwheeler it does, but youll find that the competition is lower too. A lot of guys chase glamorous trash. Not a lot are actually looking for something wholesome.
Or they think they are, then they'll date the "bad girls" with just as much blinkers over the red flags as the girls that chase "bad boys".
Facts bro, I‘m happy for you
@@motorwheelerIt’s worth trimming it down.
@@motorwheelergood! Less time and energy wasted on women you don't want to deal with.
We men need some standards for once lmao. I for one know one of my standards before I met my amazing girlfriend was that she had to be emotionally stable and willing to be my rock from time to time (I can also be a rock to her from time to time too, although admittedly I am not good at it yet, I am working on my mental health).
I know some people might say 'she'll eventually lose interest and leave' but honestly if she does and the reason is because I cry sometimes, then it was never meant to be and I'll be happier without someone incompatible.
3:00 Her reaction... RIP Toby, I felt that
she didn't need to be extra like that
That is what i said, why all that extra? just a No is enough
Oof that's rough, mans loosing big time
They fuxxin
Word
I have a feeling these girls are answering the way they think they're supposed to as opposed to how they actually feel on a visceral level.
Only cried in front of a girl a couple times and we did not end up together.
You’re correct. Women prioritize their self image over the truth. Deep down, every single woman who answered “yes” would feel utterly repulsed if a man (they knew) cried in front of them. There is no way that man is ever having sex with them
lol as if showing a woman emotional availability grants you to have sex with them.
@@luca4496 That’s true. We both agree that showing emotions won’t grant you sex with women. Quite the opposite
@@luca4496you’re the only one that mentioned anything about sex…? Tf
Generally when they say they want men to be vulnerable for them, they mean in a relationship sharing something deep and personal that signals that he trusts her and she's special to him. Not bawling like a baby in front of her.
The fact that this is even a question means the answer is "Yes but also maybe but also no."
When I cried in front of my girlfriend for the first time, she held me and asked what she could do to help. She herself had battled a long history of depression and extreme anxiety so she understands and knows how to help in those situations.
While it isn’t the only reason why, it’s kind of apparent why I want to merry this girl eventually.
That is amazing. It really is probably the smartest thing to say is ask "what can I do, that can help you", much less pressure and good for trust building. Much better than asking "why are you crying?" as that could come across as intimidating, maybe they are not ready to talk about it.
❤
Bless ❤
*marry. Maybe get better at spelling before you consider marriage bud
@@yourtourguidesassistant6554 Ok, grammar police.
My mother-in-law once commented that my husband never cried, so when he cried in front of me the first thing I did was hug him, I understood that he felt so comfortable with me that he allowed himself to be vulnerable, finally married for 7 years
Have a great life good people 😊
I hope that one day I'll find someone who'll allow me to be vulnerable front of them and create a safe space for me to express my emotions. Thanks for sharing a slice of your life with your husband, it really resonated with me.
I've seen my dad cry only once out of happiness. It happened because his parents were happy and proud of us, their grandchildren.
He's the manliest man I've ever met. I love him so much.
When I finally broke down sobbing in the aftermath of our miscarriage, my wife told me she was so relieved to not be alone in it anymore. She has also supported me through the death of my dad. Truly a partner that everyone should strive to have. But I also acknowledge that she isn’t my personal therapist - while I can lean on her for support, she can’t fix all my issues and a recurring mental health problem requires professional help and also a larger support system than one person. A friend circle is important for this reason. Men need to be okay with vulnerability even around “the bros” because your partner can’t carry your troubles all by themselves. It weighs on them too and it’s not fair to expect that from them all the time.
You are an internet stranger I'm rooting for. Know you're never alone in this world.
My own mother looked at me like I was crazy the last time I cried in front of her, and she always told me crying was okay. So yeah I won't cry in front of a woman.
If your own mother genuinely reacts like that when you cry or express your feelings she isn't your mother.
the internet is your mother now. accept her loving embrace and cry for us
jus like me fr
@@user-ey9yn5yt5q It's not really barricading, some people just don't know how to or want to deal with a grown person crying, I know I can't, I usually just stare at them, I'm not equipped to handle that stuff.
My mum is narcissist, she always told me to grow up and stop being a baby. I now have a girlfriend who comforts me when I cry. There's still good women out there.
i cry in front of my cat all the time. no judgement from her
*No spoken judgement.
My ex fiance always told me I could cry infront of her and often asked me why I didn't. Tbh I'm just not the type of guy that needs to for the most part. That was until I got into a car crash with my friends. I was the only one of the 6 of us that wasn't sent to the icu. After she picked me up from the hospital and we got home I just burst out crying because I was terrified that some of my best friends were going to die and it would be my fault sense I was driving. Instead of hugging me or doing anything to help she just started berating me on how I was being selfish and not taking into account how worried she was and how she wants to cry but now she can't because I am. I just got up and left and walked to my parents house that was a couple miles away. I broke up with her soon after because she wouldn't apologize. I've told this story to a couple women and they've all agreed with her. It's really made me jaded against dating again.
you're surrounded by the wrong kind of people, that's crazy
Alright dude. What the fuck. This women who agreed with her are just crazy.
I remember getting teary-eyed when I told my ex that my grandma just found out she had breast cance. She started to chuckle.
It was the worst feeling ever. I never want to be vulnerable in front of a women again.
My man, I feel sad for you, but this isn't your fault. Don't change yourself because of someone else's fault
@xplorer2111 Thank you bro!
Your ex is your ex for a reason
Yeah, and there are approximately 4 billion women on the planet. To assume all of them will have the same response as the loser who chuckled is a bad takeaway from that awful experience. The woman that is right for you is not going to have that same reaction.
She started to chuckle wtf
Man: "Should men be more emotionally vulnerable ?"
Girl: "Yes, but not..." 🙂
A little bit but not too much! That's why so many like bad boys
@@Avatarbuttersall* them like bad boys. Bad men are their favorite hence the “nice guys finish last”
@@WomensWrestlingMomentsbait
@@WomensWrestlingMoments oh please. this is ridiculous and if you look at any couple and actually get to know the people in that couple, you'll see how dumbfounded this rhetoric is. people say "they only like bad boys", "leaders", or "men who take charge", meanwhile every guy i am friends with who has a girlfriend or is married will call their S/O just to say "hey, what should i get for lunch?" Clearly all of these men I know are actually just complete assholes when I'm not around them, right? Lmao, no, that's stupid.
I personally view vulnerability as a perfect filter. If *ANOTHER PERSON* makes me feel comfortable enough to open up about something emotional, to share some kind of vulnerability with them, *that is HUGELY significant to me.* That means I likely view this person as very important/very significant. If someone is DISGUSTED by this, because it's "too early", or gives them some kind of "ick", I immediately know they were never worth any time or emotional investment from me in the first place. Because they don't value what being vulnerable means in the same way that I do.
Here for comments.
Man, it's very refreshing to find some sane, normal young men and women on a video like this. That isn't the norm. Good find Andrew.
Honestly man it is the norm, all the people outside your door are normal reasonable folks. It’s just that the internet shows us the vids that get the most clicks and reactions, which is obviously the most ridiculous people. The internet be convincing us that other people are insane but really people just be people
@@aidenboomer2420 You are right. Like you say, when I was stating 'that isn't the norm', I meant in terms of what you'd find on these types of videos. It made a nice change. I really do despise the internet culture nowadays.
@@aidenboomer2420 I noticed this reading the other comments. Many in the video said it was no problem, or just needed a little time and adjustment.
It seems irrational to believe anything else than what you've written. Why then, do so many comments seem to make such generalized, absolutist statements?
What would you say to someone paranoid about this?
I'd ask *them* questions, but I'm sure you know what they'd say.
don't look at the comments bro they are not having a normal one there
@@bloodhoundsoldier7445 yeah, so many men are jaded and it’s sad to see. And most of the time it’s from one relationship, or even judging the world based on the internet. Not even being hurt, time after time. It’s real sad.
I've cried in front of my at-the-time-girlfriend in a few different relationships.
Mainly due to catastrophic events in life, but they don't care. They looked at me in disgust and treated me as an inferior being after that. The accuracy on this is like 99.99% so the cap in this video is astronomical.
Maybe you are attracted to toxic women
A man crying doesn't mean he is weak, it means he has been strong for too long
~ Itachi Uchiha
I cried in front of my ex and minutes later she went and made fun of me to her friends. I was told this by her friend and immediately was heartbroken. A couple weeks later she went back to her toxic ex she said she “hated”. I’m done being vulnerable.
Why are you done being vulnerable? You were dating a toxic woman. You can cry as much as you need to in front of a healthy woman. Crying is healing and don't worry about the opinions of toxic female reptilians.
Watch she’s going to try come back to you ghost for six months build a relationship with Jesus hit the gym eat healthy groom ur hair and practice semen retention invest and make money and watch what will happen 🙏🏾🔥😊💯
Yes. Never cry in front of a woman unless someone close to you dies. She will lose respect for you everytime
I once knew a couple on my block. When the wife saw her husband cry over something, she'd take him out to his favorite diner tbe next day and order him his favorite meal.
What happened to you happened to me as well but being vulnerable isn't a bad thing. Unfortunately, like me, you stumbled upon a toxic individual who hurts more than loves. Go find yourself a woman like the couple I mentioned above, one who understands the true value of being open with emotions, because those are the ones who truly matter.
Fuc that, we hit Jim
I was crying in the train one time (I never cry but that time I couldn't resist) I think it was idk 1h of me crying none stop and people looking at me of course.
In that period of time a woman asked me if I was alright but then later a man just looked at me and gave me and airpod, I put it in and he played "don't worry be happy" then he gave me a hug and we talked for a bit while he also played "staying alive" it was an act of kindness that made me cry even more but it gave me hope in humanity
Right on, thats dope as fuck.
damn bro humanity at its best!!
@@1987cmli think it’s actually fairly equal but in different ways, guys just have a different way of doing it. for me at least, its easier to be vulnerable with women and they usually are the ones to comfort me when no one else does. but men also have that capacity, a lot of the times its hard for them to approach you first. its kinda funny, its like the opposite of we view both genders cuz it’s usually the women being aggressively empathetic but men can be people you can go to and they’re willing to listen as well
mhh k lol
Man: cries
Stranger: act of kindness
Man: cries even more
Stranger: oh god I fucked up🥺
They both cry
As a man, it takes something incredibly serious, like a death in the family or a really bad breakup for me to cry. Otherwise, no matter how hard I try, I'm physically incapable of crying. This is not me trying to appear level-headed or stoic. This is just how the large majority of men were raised. I have to be at my literal emotional breaking point. My point is, 9 times out of 10, if a man cries in front of you, it's not because he is weak but because he has been strong for too long.
Exactly!
Me too dude, it's horrible. I wish I could cry but I can't
I really appreciate that you showed all of or at least all the good answers in this video and not just the negative ones, unlike some other influencers
i think it's amazing that no ones find incoherent to say "dont cry too early in the relationship, could be a turn off". If a man implied that her girlfriend must always be sexually attractive, he would be called a moron with unrealistic fixations. But ok.
Good point actually.
This
It would be true, he'd be a moron. Expecting someone to always look attractive to you is increadibly moronic. Expecting someone to not show emotions orninvulnerability is also emotionally unhealthy.
One does not exclude the other.
lmao dont u think it would be weird to cry on first date for both genders though
@@Sk_-vu6dv yeah, that's an extreme example. I actually went on a date with a girl that cried on the first date once and made me uncomfortable. Never saw her again 😅
My dad passed away recently and I’ve cried quite a few times in front of my girlfriend and she has never judged me or thought less of me for it. Feeling those emotions is extremely important for growth and maturity.
I couldn’t imagine being judged for crying over the loss of a loved one
You might have gotten a good one. Those are hard to find.
That's just a completely different case my friend. Some guys cry like little girls over small things
@@anshumaan5285 Do you remember when Jordan Peterson cried? He showed empathy and he got mocked for it by women.
Seems like you found a good one man
I felt so special even my baby cried about 2 months into our relationship I saw he was hiding it on call but I comforted him he’s cried 3 times in the year and disgust never crossed my mind.
This was so refreshing to see ❤ I've had only two men cry on front of me and I became their strength (platonic). I've had one person I was in love with open up and be vulnerable to me, I supported him and felt closer. Unfortunately never had a relationship and therefore could never see a man open up for real….
Thank god for women like you I wish more women were like this but the world isn’t fair so
So the 2 men that cried in front of you, were platonic, so you had no interest in sleeping with them in the first place, so whats it matter to them anyway. Then you go on to say that, the 1 person you loved, which also you say you never had a relationship, which is borderline contradictory, opened up to you, but magically your no longer with this man anymore, so this is why men dont open up and will never open up in the future. Too many contradictions.
I Know... @@TheGroundedExplorer It seems Since one man is my brother, he's my forever love. The other, I couldn't reciprocrate, but I sup[ported and did my best. He's happily married now and I'm happy for him. My contradiction lies in the fact that the man I fell in love with is too guarded, too many trust issues I feel, and wouldn't even try. Anyway... Since posting this comment to now, I have worked a lot on myself and hope to be more accepting, receiving and loving. Wish to be with a man who will reciprocate with trust, communication, vulnerability and understanding. That's all I can say...
All thanks to how my dad brought me up, bless his soul
Haha! One was a good friend to me and I couldn’t reciprocate his love, but we made peace. He’s happily married now. The other was my baby brother ☺️
As a man, I have a hard time keeping my emotions in check. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I empathize, I cry when I'm stressed out and sad.
I'm just a big ol crybaby. And thankfully I've found a woman that embraces that side of me. It's cliche but I'm a lucky crybaby ig lol
I'm definitely super sensitive myself, but I've not found a way to even accept it in myself to find a woman that would.
Same, all the same, and after I lost my dad a few years ago I found a therapist that’s absolutely incredible. The way she’s helped me rewire my selftalk, communication, and relationship dynamics has immensely improved every aspect of my life. I’m so damn proud to be an emotionally available and mature person. I encourage everyone to to do the same. We should all feel free to express our emotions, take care of ourselves and each other.
@@GRAYgauss Hey brother, I hope one day you not only find a partner that cherishes your vulnerability but that you come to value that side of yourself as well.
@@Dorito_Dust This makes me happy to read!
@EarthatWork lmaooo as you should 😂
GF: "Wow, you're so cold, open Up! Express your emotions!"
Me: Proceeds to tell my fears and insecurities*
GF: *LOSES ATTRACTION*
And then you wave goodbye to her 👋
Pretty much. We have to act like Conan the barbarian instead of ourselves.
Well fuck her right off then. Relationships require vulnerability, period.
Don't rob her of the joy and mystery and work that's involved with gaining your trust, respect and slowly teasing things out of you. If you just open like a flood gate it spoils that for her. She wants to feel like she has to earn it each step of the way. Because a high value guy with lots of options and his own life mission to focus on isn't going to spill the beans so easily.
@@constantchange1145 No.
This video is really comforting, it shows that people really do care and are open to openness ❤
I had an ex who told me she wanted me to be vulnerable with her and I was. During the final fight she told me she wished I was strong enough not to cry and to not dump my emotions on her. I left her never looked back. Found myself a woman who loves when I tell her about how I feel and wants me to feel safe around her and I’ve never been happier. It’s easy to say everything and everyone is trash, but you just have to find the right people who make it all make sense.
Good going, bro. Glad she's an ex and you found the right person.
Hi ladies. We're human. We have emotions. We can feel pain. Just like you. We can't be strong ALL the time.
^
Sun tzu mustve been rejected too many times thats why he dropped his hottest bar: "appear strong when youre weak and weak when youre strong"
Speak for yourself, sissyboy.
@@Kenji-117his poor lil heart was broken when he wrote that one
You don't seriously expect women to showcase basic empathy for men, do you?
Honesty and authenticity is a form of strength. If that means crying, its strength too.
You had me in the first half, but how is crying a strength? Being honest and authentic is considered strong cause it takes courage to do so in a machiavellian society. But crying isint it.
@@halfw1ng courage isn't the only parameter of strength. Not crying when you need to would imply suppressing emotional reaction, beacuse one fears social judgement or rejection. Sometimes being strong means you have the strength, the means and enough reason to not care what everyone else might think. It means self confidence and self sustainability. Being enough for ones ownself.
@@abysswitheyes Get into Stocism, embrace your dormant hardwired masculinity
@@KushiLungs okay but... I'm a female?....
@TheVeritasHenry "even when alone it's an unearned relief system" I wholeheartedly disagree with you and I'm sorry you feel this way. Maybe you haven't received a lot of compassion from the people in your life so now you think the way to live is to be always in control of yourself. People didn't show you that it was ok to let go sometimes. We're only human. We are meant to fall, make mistakes and feel sad at times. Tears are just a natural reaction to our emotions. Like your Heartbeat speeds, like you produce saliva, your eyes tears up. We need these "relief systems" to be able to heal and move on. Its crazy to me that some people can oppose to a reaction that's so natural and biological. There is no need to put so much meaning into it. Just have a good cry and move on
"If you need to tolerate tears, thats ok" thats tells me everything i need to know. They dont like when you show how you really feel and if you do it too often.... relationship done.
I used to cry all the time back when i was a kid, but time and time again people scolded me or got angry at me for crying. I can't remember the last time i cried in front of anyone but it must've been about a decade ago.
I hope y'all can find that special someone who you can show your weakest side to, with no fear or doubts.
I'm disappointed Andrew didn't show the people the clip of him crying. Would've been hilarious getting their reactions
I was hoping he would start crying on the spot if someone said they didn't have a problem with seeing a guy cry.
Im pretty sure he has done that in an old video
Theres daddy crying video and also daddy watching the crying video so… otay
@@ivox. I'm glad he kept it serious
He has done this before! I think it’s titled “showing people my videos” or something
I think women will usually say that they want their man to be vulnerable, but their subconscious will usually tell them that they are not safe with a man who cries. That being said, I'm a fan of crying, and think it's a healthy emotional release.
🤝🏻
cry all you want, just dont do it in front of a girl you want to F
yeah i think emotional men arent trusted as much, even if its a very genuine emotion. its more rare to find truly non judgemental people. lost relationships over it, ive learned to be more selective about who i open up to.
Women like that have a brain that is more animal than human, so I won't even care about their opinion. Their life is guided by their instinct and usually you can easily see that there is not much information inside them. Crying is a human trait and that is what makes it so special, to appreciate it is necessary to develop some emotional intelligence, not everyone can.
@@kkkkkk6570 I just watched a pretty compelling video that explains why that's probably not the case. As women find "sensitive" guys to be more attractive possibly because women are attracted to traits that represent good paternal instincts and being emotionally void is not a sign of a good father. Men, on the other hand, value physical attractiveness (on average) more than other traits, due to physical traits indicating a mate who can carry and birth healthy children. To me, this is why men don't value the "vulnerability" of other men, because to them, physical traits are more important, you can see this in the gym bros that seem to get more and more popular.
The studies that backed these claims admitted that gender-based preference studies are always flawed. However, I do think it's fairly accurate in this situation.
I haven’t cried in front of my gf yet, she’s wondering why I haven’t done it and is dying to see me cry so she can comfort me, it’s sweet but it can get annoying sometimes 😅
I had my first ever panic attack on a second date with the woman I am currently seeing. She helped me through it and I was terrified of scaring her away but she accepted me and has loved me ever harder for it. My PTSD isn’t going to stop me from being the person I was before. Be yourself and don’t be afraid of rejection, the people you want to attract will appreciate you for who you are.
my ex was the sweetest girl. she told me that I don't have to put on appearances in front of her and feel free to be vulnerable. she also told me that a person in a relationship isn't responsible for the happiness of the other person, and it's selfish to expect otherwise. she also told me that I'll never be rid of her because loyalty is everything to her. I thought I found my future wife. I wanted to have a family with her.
six months later she broke up with me saying she doesn't have time for our relationship. I spent days trying to talk to her to convince her to stay and she was very dismissive throughout the whole thing. when I told her I though we were happy together, she scoffed and said "you thought I was happy?". when she came over to pack up her things, I broke down in tears and she looked at me in disgust.
everything she told me was a lie. that was almost 10 years ago. haven't trusted the word of a woman since.
I feel very sad for you brother, trust me when I say I do
But, maybe this whole thing is not as much about your ex being a woman as your ex being an asshole
'cause being an asshole isn't exclusive to women
She pitched the script and sold you on it. Same kind of thing happened to me. You're not alone man, at least take comfort in that.
It's possible she had something bad going on in her life, she probably wasn't disgusted because you cried, but because you didn't comfort her or tried to reasom with her
@@xplorer2111 word.
What happened in those six months? What changed? Did you notice anything? Was all okay with her family?
Drastic life and family changes can make a person change a lot.
I have had people do that to me. Male friends who never shared anything and just acted normal around me. Later I found out they were going through shit.
What put me off is they were emotionally vulnerable and then turned around and basically told me that they would respect me less if I were to accept them wholeheartedly now that I know 'what asshats they are'. I tried comforting them but ended up taking their advice and dropping the friendship.
They were they type that couldn't bear to be vulnerable in front of any woman because they were vulnerable in front of the wrong woman once and got torn down very badly.
I guess the only thing you can do for such guys is to let them walk with their dignity intact and drop the relationship cuz then they'll never feel comfortable with you again after being so vulnerable.
It is weird but they have to work that out themselves I can't help.
Remember, there’s a stark difference between what women say they’re ok with vs how they actually react to that same behavior
Yeah women never say what they mean
People in general should be mindful of who they're vulnerable in front of.
Yes. They say these things out in public but are completely different creatures behind closed doors. They can cry each and every day but cry in front of her just once. She'll never look at you the same way again.
How would you know that?
@@MH-zo4uiThere's no research papers on the subject buddy. Or most things in life. You gotta infer from life experiences how MOST stuff and people work. That's how.
The first relationship I cried in front of my partner in was my last, and it was only one time. We were together for three years when it happened, it was over things going on in the relationship. She reacted in anger that I was crying, caring about myself, all that. A few years later, was still with her. My best friend passed away, and she asked me why I wasn't showing emotion over it, why I didn't open up to her, cry about it, all that. That's when I had the self realization that the previous experience had completely closed me off to being vulnerable with my partner. I'll communicate with my parter about things I do or don't like, but I'll never emotionally show that side of me to a woman again. We've been apart for several years now, and I've had other girlfriends since, and I have not cried in front of any of them and never will.
I hope you find peace in yourself
@anastassia5822 I've found peace and self assurance. If I ever do need a shoulder to cry on in the very rare occasion that I do, I typically look to the men I trust most in my life. My father and specific friends. They're more understanding and supportive than any woman I know, other than my mother bur she's no longer here.
Women laugh at men vulnerability but men are told to respect a woman’s.
One needs to be wary of the fact that what women SAY infront of an audience and on camera - is totally different to what they actually think as an individual and amongst their friends.
💯
The video of Andrew crying was one of the best things I've ever seen. I treasure that clip and I'm gonna show it to my kids when they grow up. OTAY OTAY!
That 2016-17 vlog era of Andrew’s was definitely one of a kind
That's weird thing to do but understandable.
Fleeky
Powerful video man, thanks.
Society can keep telling me that being vulnerable in front of a woman is fine, but I will never fall for that trap. Women always say certain things, but they will react and do things differently. It’s always safer to keep your guard up, and only cry behind closed doors.
for sure, i think crying alone has about the same effects, plus you dont need to worry about the potential risk of you crying
Cool so how do you explain when I liked a guy and he cried in front of me and it made me adore him and I've never felt my heart stir more for someone than it did when I saw his sweet sad eyes with tears and wanted to hold him and make it all go away. This is such bullshit, if a woman actually really really likes you she wants to comfort you.
@@matelinec Well I may not know your story, but it sounds like your guy found a gem. And yes, you’re right. The RIGHT woman will want to comfort their man. My comment was referring to the majority, which I should’ve specified.
@@stellarokami5052 he slept with me and then rejected me. So my story goes to show that not everything is black and white, there are girls out there who will love and support a guy who shows his vulnerability, and guys who will not give a shit abt that and leave anyway 🤷🏻♀️
@@matelinec I’m sorry things ended up like that for you. And you made another valid point, some guys only wanting to sleep with women and women who actually care for their men being vulnerable. My best conclusion about all of this is that it all comes down to finding the right person for everyone. But too many end up with non compatible ones.
It’s disgusting how as a society we internalized this sick belief that men who cry are weak. Like no, nobody who cries is weak, people who cry are literally just being human. If anyone you know reacts with disgust or mocks you when you cry, run the opposite way. They are not your friend and they don’t love you. Better be alone than be around these people.
That’s making excuses for weakness. Real men have complete and total self control, any man who fails and gives in to their emotions is weak and running from people telling you the truth is just cowardice
Respectfully it is not “as a society” it’s in male society, men are the main culprit to pushing toxic masculinity. No need to further explain just look at the first comment. 👆🏼🥱
@@NathanDavis508 we are all run by emotions either consciously or not :) some people are in tuned with their emotions and cry when needed and some people repress feelings and play tough:) which we all know results in poor mental health. people who judge others as weak are predatory and they won't support you so you should just avoid them
@@PadajDeszczu it’s not playing tough, it’s just controlling yourself. There’s nothing predatory about telling people the truth. You can’t suppress emotion, but you can control the effect you let it have on you. And again, people who can’t accept that and make excuses are weak
@@NathanDavis508what’s the benefit of controlling the urge to cry and not doing it
Never cry in front of a woman you want to sleep with.
They pretend they want men to be more vulnerable, but they in fact want the opposite.
Sage advice from crbox TV
That has some incel energy going on there...
@@flocki3958 that's some blue pill Disney energy you have lmao
Why comment that on a video of a bunch of girls saying a guy crying isn't a turn off? Men trying to be tough constantly for the sake of getting laid are the least authentic people to be around, which is a turn off to anybody, not just women. It's also laughable that you think you know what women want more than they do, as if they're too dumb to understand what they're looking for.
@@flocki3958 It's biological hardwiring, not "incel energy" rather the fact you just simply have no understanding of female nature and would prefer to cry in front of women
I can only speak from my exp and what I've observed in other relationships. This is a big reason why I've flown solo most of my life, because I'd dealt with some traumatic, demoralizing things from an early age and was basically punished for showing emotions so I'm all kind of messed up. From what I've seen, it's probably fine if you're just breaking down due to stress, anxiety, or just sad about something, as this is pretty common and normal. But if you're truly troubled about something and depressed, it's more common that either another person wants to run the other way, or they themselves experienced something and try trauma-bonding, which isn't really good either. I think if I had someone who just showed they were there for me without pandering to me I'd be able to heal and be able to focus on more positive things in life. Therapy helps but.. for me a big problem is that I never felt like I really had anyone in my corner, I feel like I can't truly connect with people or be close to them without overwhelming them and chasing them off, or I just attract people who are just toxic or just very negative. It's a weird thing.. if I'm going to be with someone, I want them to KNOW me, I don't want to hide my flaws from them, and in the process I want to move away from my past to something good. I think I've let my guard down with women in the past too early because I didn't want to surprise them later.. but that's never gone well and they always run for the hills lol. I've had other guys say that you shouldn't talk about such things with women, that you should just go to a therapist or talk to other guys. I've seen people often say that you shouldn't share everything with your significant other, that some things you should keep to yourself.. I don't know, that's sad to me. If I'm going to be with someone, I want to be able to tackle everything together, to learn from one another etc. But anyways, I will say that the majority of women who I've seen say "oh yeah men should definitely cry and be emotional and share" end up cringing and slinking away almost every time. I've seen relationships where they're very loving, but in the heat of an argument, the women used the mans weakness even though it had nothing to do with the subject. I think women often THINK they want this, but in the moment there's something primeval that tells them to find someone stronger. Same goes for friends in my exp. If you find someone who cares enough to think past this, hold on to them, from what I've seen it's rare. Like I said though, I don't think most have much to worry about because they're not really dealing with demons, just a bad day. Props to the women out there that are loving and supporting and aren't overly judgmental!
I find many people conflate being emotionally vulnerable with being emotionally open or available. These are not the same thing, nothing wrong with being open or available, but i can not in good conscious recommend being vulnerable. Most people in the moment may not be negative but boy down the road can that bite you.
I hate stigma on crying and showing emotions. I was trying so hard not to cry on my mom's funeral when I was 16 while I had every reason in the world to burst in tears. That was the moment I realized that crying in front of someboddy takes a courage. Unfortunately I'm still not confident enough to cry when I feel like it.
First of all, i wanted to say im sorry to hear that. I believe this is true. Showing vulnerability takes courage. Hope you have a nice day/year/life
I had a pretty good 3 year relationship with a girl until my dad passed away. She was so turned off that 2 weeks later she broke up with me.
Fucking hell man, she sounds heartless. I'm so sorry. You're better off without her though. Women like that are beneath contempt. Stay strong brother.
@@CSRL8yup and very disrespectful
Holy fuck, that is evil.
You dodged a bullet
holy shit good riddance, she was a witch
this chanel is so lovely and asks some important questions... Like wowie these people you talked to were so emotionally inteligent
I want to cry. But i can't get myself to cry.
Crying is one of the strongest and visible emotions a human being can feel. It gives clarity in moments of sorrow
I’ve never cried in front of a woman aside from my mom. The two relationships I’ve been in, both women weaponized the death of my father, my depression, or other personal things that I told them in confidence. I know not all women are like this and men do this crap too.
The crazy thing is both of the women in those relationships, assured me and encouraged me to be more vulnerable and open. Honestly those experiences have made me almost the complete opposite. You have to be very good at reading people and vet them before just letting anyone into your life, it’s common sense but sometimes we forget how cruel people can be and we tend to let down our guard because it becomes tiresome and impossible to connect with anyone.
@LAHWF𝟏𝟕𝟔𝟐𝟐𝟔𝟎𝟓𝟑𝟖𝟐 ah yes that’s not a scam at all lmao
I cried in front of a woman i hold near and dear to me, it only strengthened our bond and I feel a relationship blossoming between us. theres people out there that are awful and treat others like dirt. but there are so many others that are just. beautiful on the inside.
a heart of gold
Have we actually as a human society banned a basic human function and emotion
I cried in front of my fiancée when I lost my job a fortnight before our wedding.... she cancelled the wedding and broke the engagement a year later.
How are you doing bro? Feel lucky that you got rid of a toxic narcissistic woman who could have ruined your life.
fortnite
Bro 😭
Wasn't just the crying in that case. It was the lost job too.
@nobody-special000 Nah, it was the crying. She's from an emotionally underdeveloped family with undiagnosed autism and serious buried mental health issues.... She was raised on brutal stoicism.
Meanwhile, my family is majority ADHD and extremely passionate and emotional...
She couldn't process that level of emotional demonstration.
"Not too early in a relationship, it might be a turn off."
It's ok, we don't all sexualise you. Some of us actually think of you as human beings too. Being genuine comes first.
M'lady
@@mcgilliman no
😁🤣@@Ynox54321
Sure. Are you trying to find a partner or to friendzone some guy
@@DenerWitt shut up
I was once vulnerable with a girl I was dating when I was 18. She was 1 year younger than me and I opened up to her about an addiction I had.
She did not really give me any support and instead went off about why my addiction was an issue. I wasn't really looking for words of encouragement, and she became more distant from that moment. Then a few weeks later she broke up with me bc she "wasn't really feeling it" and that interaction taught me that I should NEVER be fully vulnerable to a woman. To this day, that lesson has served me well. That was the first and LAST time i ever did that. Now I'd rather buy a drink and go cry to a tree or do that alone in my room.
Although, from what I've gathered if you've been in a relationship for a while and she already trusts you then maybe its not really an issue, but its still not a risk I'd be willing to take.
Honestly, I think it's a risk you have to take (if you're looking for a life partner). Realistically you're going to cry in front of that person one day cause what if she's around you when you lose your parents or get laid off at work and stuff like that. If your partner can't accept you crying in front of her over something that you need to cry about then you have no business building a life with that woman and having that woman potentially raise your children. I'm kinda like you, I think I'd do damn near anything to avoid crying in front of someone lol. But in reality there is little to no chance you'll be able to keep feelings like that from her forever whether you like it or not.
Cry in front of your family or friends, it’s risky to cry in front of a gf/wife.
known her for 5 years she said she wanted me to be more emotional so I did, 6 months she started saying I was clingy and dramatic. Even if they think they want u to be emotional, they dont.
I swear if I’m ever in a group of women whom when 1 mocks their man for crying about something
At first I would be like “oh well I cried for the same reason” and if they say “oh i feel sorry for you” blah blah blah and I’ll be like “no why do u feel sorry for me and not for your man?” He’s crying because he needed you and you’re his partner and his support system that he has. What else are you to him? Pretty much that’s the only comeback I could come up with haha but I will use any comeback
Men are allowed to cry!❤️It’s a human thing not a sign of weakness,
Not gonna lie as an autistic woman I cry a lot and have been called weak before. I feel like I can’t cry in front of anyone these days society is just too judgemental :(
You are awesome😊👍
If you think emotions are optional as a man, but you also want to experience a 'meaningful' life... take a second to ask yourself how you plan to actually FEEL that meaning in your life. One of my biggest 'ah ha' moments was learning you can't selectively dampen the feelings you don't like while keeping the ones you do. An intellectualized life might look good on paper, but it feels as empty as it is. Keep on feeling my boizzzz
The sweet spot for men is learning to feel the full range of emotions without dampening them, while using stoic discipline to not allow emotions to control our behavior, because emotional decisions and actions are almost never good ones, and often dangerous and self destructive. I believe men actually feel our emotions more intensely than women, which is why it is so important for men to be disciplined in our behavior. We are naturally capable of doing more damage when not in control of our emotions. It is better for men to bring our issues to our closest male friends or a well vetted therapist, and very rarely to your wife, not girlfriend or fiancé (and only then if she is a certain type of woman, which unfortunately is a very small portion of the female population, and it should be kept to very specific situations like grief or other kinds of major loss). Most women will only hold it against you in the future, usually in an argument, and on top of that, they are almost guaranteed to tell their girlfriends. I agree that emotions definitely aren’t optional as men. It’s just that there is an evolutionary/survival/biological reason why women are naturally repulsed by men who cry. Modern society has conditioned women to think it’s ok for men to cry and be vulnerable, which is a good and noble goal. It’s just that it goes against biology and that is why the women who do stick by their men who cry and are vulnerable are the exception, not the rule, and exceptions don’t disprove the rule. So it’s true “not all” women do it. But its better to operate on probability, not possibility, if a man wants the best possible outcomes in life. It is possible to find one of those women, just not probable, unfortunately.
You gotta know how to balance your emotions and deal with them and sometimes, it is just better to bottle them up. Sorry but emotionally led men is up to no good...
@@filipradojcic1865 It wreaks havoc on your nervous system and relationships to 'bottle them up' and leads to all types of maladaptive behaviors from those who do it. Being able to process your emotions and speak from them (when appropriate) doesn't mean you are being dragged around by your emotions into unhealthy or unkind actions. It means you know how to move a feeling through your body and speak up for them when needed.
@@sirlongschlong I'd argue the opposite based on my experience and the information I've seen at large regarding culture and biology and men's emotions and how others respond to them. Society has been the one to program most people to be repulsed by a man showing emotions (besides anger, which is allowed and even celebrated at times ). The book "For the Love of Men" does a great job debunking some of the things our society assumes are 'biological' when it comes to men and emotions.
I was like this for a bit mostly because I had to be.. but when people around me were allowed to have emotional outburst but mine were discouraged when I was like yep im gonna live how I want because most other people are as well.
When you pass a experience near death, you change. The experience itself gives you a reminder that you gotta enjoy life more, so you try to stay positive, no matter what, but there are some moments of weakness plus the stereotype of men being emotionless, is just imposible to not cry, we cannot hold the emotions forever, thats why why cry sometimes.
One reason I quit talking to someone was because she lacked the ability to empathize with me. Three of us were in a restaurant and I was talking to a mutual friend. The subject of our fathers came up and both of us were incredibly emotional. To the point I had to stop and compose myself just to speak. It was like she wasn't even present. She lost her dad not long ago and it's like it didn't even affect her. That's when I knew being around someone like that is detrimental to my mental health. I'm learning to love myself and not be afraid of showing emotions around others. It's taken years for me to do that. I couldn't even cry without breaking down before 3 years ago. The military didn't help. But, after I got into cannabis, my emotions unlocked and I started crying at small things. That's a good thing. I was tired of not being able to be my true self around others. I still work on it, and it's getting easier as I get older with new experiences. Those first 41 years, though, were incredibly painful. I've learned I can't be around those who mock, belittle or judge me based on who I am, now. The sun is shining, now. Clouds come by frequently, but I know the rain will stop and I'll be able to breathe again, soon.
To lack empathy to that extent and to also not have much of an emotional reaction to the death of a parent screams narcissism.
@@sahamal_savu That's my thought, too I did look into it, but only a couple symptoms stuck out to me that they exhibited. I have no medical background, so all I can do is really make a guess to why they were like that.
You where in the military😮 You have my respect!🫡❤
I cried out of frustration and pain because of her lacking loyalty, reciprocation, and just expressing my feelings/concerns. She said, “stop with the water works, ur literally manipulating me right now”….
😬🏃🏻♂️🚩
I hope she's your ex, bro... She had some problems to fix. I hope she got therapy in time
Had something similar happen to me. I like to talk things out and understand people, fix things yknow? A girl called me a manipulative narcissist. I was "manipulative" because I would mention things that she did that hurt my feelings. I was "narcissistic" because I would only talk about myself when communicating these feelings I had.
She would always decide to shut down when we were "fighting". I put fighting in quotes because I was careful never to raise my voice or place unneeded blame on her because she was with other abusive partners in the past. It was hard to get her to talk about her feelings/problems even though I was essentially begging her to so we could fix things. Instead I found out she instead talked in length about how much of a piece of shit I was, she would straight up lie about things I did and what my intentions were like I didn't explain to her in depth what I was thinking and how I was feeling.
It makes me wonder how exactly her past relationships were "abusive", honestly. That relationship drove me pretty crazy and made me think pretty dark, but I'm better now.
Sorry to trauma dump, but I'm saying this to let people know that there ARE better people out there who will look at you the same way you look at them: like the sun shines out their ass. The stuff I mentioned above is NOT normal and should not be accepted or brushed aside with the idea that "that's just how women (or anyone for that matter) is".
If my tears are an expression of truth and the woman I'm with is turned off by them, that's a good thing. Clearly we're incompatible if she's turned off by my true emotion, so it's best we learn this ASAP and part ways. Hiding who you are in the hopes that someone finds you attractive is about as emotionally empty as life gets.
Absolutely. Communication and expression is important. People nowadays are so afraid of leaving or getting left.
You speak the truth.
Agreed! I'm not holding in tears to avoid coming across as weak. Sooner or later you will fail to hide your true self, and it will be lot more painful if it turns out your partner doesn't support who you actually are. Don't put on a façade, it's not worth it.
Wise words 🙏🏻
This guy Emotional Intelligences
That gave me so much hope man .. thank you ❤🫡🫡🫡