Carol Loraine I don’t have any friends to talk to or hang out with and no family here Idk what to do, I’m healing but I’m so lonely I want to enjoy life but no one to enjoy it with .
Love your channel. However i miss the part wolf in sheepclothess..i mean the one whom hates sociaty social media, dont like people and dont mind to be alone. They are shy (or they pretend to be)
@@Angel020969 that would most likely be a counter dependent, or in the most extreme case probably anti social. narcissism is an extreme form of codependency, they need people more than anyone.
@@nobodynowhere5213 I do not completly agree on this one. They are the lone wolf's. They hate people. There are many different kinds . If you are interested look at vids of Sam Vaskin. There are some whom like to withdraw from people. I agree they sometimes need an relationship. But they are very introverted
@@Angel020969 They always need relationships. Narcissist simply cant function without other people. Its actually Sam Vaknin who started to speak about narcissism as extreme form of codependency.. and that it is. As they literally cant survive without other people. That is why i recommended looking into counter dependency, as they are lone wolfs and share the grandiose ego. But they are not narcissists. Narcissism is quite rare, and not everyone who is an asshole is a narcissist.
My advice from my personal experience. NEVER EVER give them second chances! That will destroy/break you even more! Once you make yourself free from your toxic partner try to focus on yourself and start healing yourself.. You are the MOST IMPORTANT person! I know that we all with healthy emotions and feelings will be tempted to give them another chance... maybe he/she will change.. it was my fault.. They will always come back with a huge drama so you feel pity for them or they will make you feel loved and needed which is their aim. Their sick and cruel game will make YOU to beg for their attention and you will end chasing him/her which only will build up their sick egos.
I left the Narcissist, he had started to date someone while we were still together, when I aknowledged the fact, that was for me the end of the road, I left him. I am at the begining of this difficult journey at the moment which happened 2 weeks ago.. and it sucks, but at the same time I feel I was blessed to find out about his coming to be new suply!. When you mentioned the relationship between two narcissists I came to think of a movie with Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turne from 1989 called "The war of the roses" very good example of that sort of relationship :)
Yes I am, and I am so happy to finally break loose from this toxic person. I feel I am gaining my enrgy back, my glow and myslef. This relationship from hell lasted almost 5 years... I am sending kisses towards the Universe and God xxx
Fariba S "War of the Roses" Lol!! What a wild movie! Surely a Narc + Narc love gone bad story. Or perhaps this; Only ONE was NPD, the other fairly normal... (w/e normal is,) and at some point, after so many years and so much discord, the NON-NPD went bat-shit crazy! Completely off the deep end. EITHER WAY, a true cautionary-tale and a good example.
I too have felt like a magnet for narcs. You are such an angel for taking the time to comfort and educate us who are hurting after being devalued by a narc. I had given up on love. Your videos have been such a source of hope. Thanks again!
Carol Smith I’ve just discovered about NpD and I’ve realized that I need more boundaries w these ppl . The more boundaries I put up the smaller my circle has become . It sad when someone comes into your life wearing a mask of kindness only for you too be abused . I’m so empathic that I’m a ( was ) for these soul suckers .. they’re so Draining .😢
That really did help. Plus, I was lonely and it was great to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you. Don't apologize for the length. Lonely people like this length video. I may replay it later to see how far I've come. 💞Robin
S K OMG I thought I was having a psychotic break last week. With 45 days free of emotional abuse my inner child decided it was okay to to crawl out of the blackness. Joyfully for days I couldn’t stop talking about her in 3rd party.
My ex was a recluse covert narcissist. When he was around people he had to be the center of attention. But during the day he would not speak or see anybody except me. Very controlling, manipulating, he picked fights with me, he loved to twist everything I said and tell others lies about me so he looked like the victim. It took me nearly 9 years to get away from him. But I did and it was the best decision I ever made. Thanks for all your videos. Much appreciated.
Same thing happened to me best thing I ever done was leave .walk away into homeless lost house everything .he gave all my stuff away .hes married again I get peace now but he slags me to my kids and everyone sucked my sister in he still goes to see her .i have new house better stuff I'm a stronger person .he will never get to treat me like peace trash again
I'm now going through mental trauma bcoz i love her n i alwyz welcom her evn if she did evry possible inhuman treatment n abused me n destroy me to the core
@@nssingh1030 you,ll get through it seek therapy and pray.. almost four months for me still lonely but trying to get pass the trauma every morning i wake up i go through it dont know what's going on its like the devil. Keep praying
So truuee. Mine lied to me about being back with his ex before I realized it was all a manipulation tactic. I still really miss him like a dumb ass tbh. Hope you all are coping well tho.
I recall him interrupting my phone calls with him, every few minutes, to take other calls. He was setting up my replacements while we were in the first enthusiastic days.
Ohhhh this helped me tremendously!!! I am in the trenches now...just leaving 33 yrs of Narcissist regime!!! And I am finding out that being totally feels a little scary but it's FREEDOM 🎉 I knew his treatment of me was not normal for someone you love...but did not realize until now it actually is narcissist behavior. He is textbook narcissist. Ugh how did I put up with his crap soooo long! I am angry at myself!
You sound like me. I left after 35. But I too didn't know what it was. Was it him or was it me. I left 4 years ago and still alone but I'm happier than I have ever been. Hang in there it's not you it's him!!! You can be happy but he will never be happy no matter who he gets in his miserable life. Be strong!!
Count your many blessings for your child. The child does not have to grow up in that toxic environment. The less he has to do with him/her the better off you child is. I stayed with mine because of children and that was NOT a good decision they now adults said I should have left.
Kristel,you are beautiful and you deserve someone who loves you and your baby.Narcs Dont love anyone. Stay strong if he trys to return after they end.Love yourself X It gets easier x
My now ex husband had an affair and I agreed to have him come back to try to work it out. He never apologized for his actions. He just said, " we r even" from an encounter I had when we were first dating. He always reminded me every yr about it from then on. He was sneaky, dramatic, manipulative and had no respect for me . I gave and gave and he took and took. Days after our divorce he moved in with her. I had a deep feeling he would do that and I was right! Yes all I hear they r so happy. He never told me ir his kids he was moving in with her. Such a coward and liar. I have hit rock bottom and have picked myself back up knowing I definitely deserve so much better! I have been working on myself and even like the person I see in the mirror again. I thought it was me but I have so much love to give. I am definitely setting boundaries and no one will ever walk all over me again. Thank you for wonderful reading!
Again a great video! No, I'll never be hoovered again because I know now he never gave a damn after 7 times trying and I was nothing to him, actually less than nothing in fact. That was the hardest part for me, realising finally he didn't give a shit. Anyone in the early stages , please don't go back, it does get worse...Gift of the gab, I love it! I'm from Blarney where that saying came from, kiss the Blarney Stone and you'll get the gift ! They talk and talk, have great stories but they repeat the same tales over and over again which is why they need new supplies, a new audience, because those who know them well or have a decent built in radar, get very weary of hearing the same tripe over and over again..They are emotionally empty people who need to feed off of others . 8 months no contact, difficult and emotional, yes, but this journey to discover who I really am will be worth it. You're a star, thank you for taking the time, apologies for the rambling text :-) xx ps, my narc admitted the worst thing that could happen to him was being alone!
You are spot on, Jackie! They do repeat the same stuff over and over. And are all so similar to each other, as if they had gone to the same training school. I was at Blarney and kissed the stone in 2007! This is how I remembered the saying : ) Blessings to you! Keep up the great work and enjoy the process of getting to know the splendor of your soul.
JackieT14 they are shallow,they have such limited things to say that they do repeat the same old sentences over and over again ,same old sayings they have ,over and over cos they don't have their own ideas or morals,no soul
You're right Julie Wesson, in my experience I've found they have lots of ideas but those are usually very grandiose, over the top, pitched in such a way it's like they've invented the wheel! and most of the time borrowed from someone or somewhere else! few morals and no soul..that's so true
JackieT14 . So true. I heard the same lame stories over and over and over. My ex never once tried to get to know me. Never asked about my hobbies, interests, books I read, nothing. I was just there to be an audience. So tiresome.
A healthy whole person has boundaries and aren't narcissistic magnets which is why Ross Rosenberg discusses the dance between the nac & empathy and the fact that it feels so natural. The empathy actually is trying to heal their own hurts by fixing someone else. As you stated we inevitably thru these abusive relationships seek healing bc the pain is unbearable. Essentially, the Narcs drives us to heal & intergration. Yes, I'm discovering my inner child in a healthy way thru healing myself.
You are so wise - this video was sooo helpful. I am a widow who was targetted by a narcissist because I was so vulnerable and raw. Eight months with him - magical, crazy fun & love - or so I thought. Only to be discarded 3 times. I have NEVER been treated like this and definitely have a trauma bond. These videos are really helping me - I can't wait to be 100% over this nightmare.
I just wanted to say thank you for your vidoes and your strength and compassion! Watching these is literally the only thing giving me hope and getting me through this hell. Thank you so very much!☺
you are so on point because you went through it. its only people that have experienced it that can connect. I DO. it's a very painful thing. But people don't recognize it easily. i ve taken time to heal but the healing takes time. loneliness is not my problem but getting to be in a healthy relationship is.
I have only met a couple of true narcissists in my life. I am in a healthy environment now. Because these narcissists share my faith they try to hoover by playing on the whole value of "forgiveness" and "needing to talk". I can forgive without exposing myself to a narcissist however. I think the narcissists who are most dangerous are those who use their faith or spiritual leadership as an excuse. Not saying spiritual leadership is bad. It's awesome! I aspire to it in some ways and am mentoring a guy who is like the younger brother I never had! But yeah the glitz and glam of some spiritual leadership is attractive to a narcissist.
Agreed. They are never alone, in my experience. In fact, it has only been within the last year that I discovered how “not alone” my ex was throughout our marriage.
Oh my ! You helped me so much ! I'm having the hardest time trying to stay free from my ex-narc, it feel so clean and free being away from him, but my mind is dealing with that emptiness I can't explain, we know these type of people arent good for us, but if only I can shut down the love feelings that i have for him. Its so confusing to my brain that I'm missing someone who was toxic and abusive to me. This video was so helpful and shed so much truth and light to me. I needed for you to put it just like you did. I feel so much better and all that you said was right on point. Thank you ! May God bless you to keep helping those like myself who struggle with that pain that they (the narc) leave us in.
Chelsea Nettles i describe it as this: they are cocaine and we are the drug addict we want more of that drug all though we acknowledge its destroying us in all ways... our job is to voluntarily go through the abstinence process to detox and its very painful. Im going through this just now. Its confusing not easy to understand and you cant even believe sometimes they really are what they are. Its a denial and confrontation of so many emotions. Mine just discarded because she knew I was confronting her without even know this info and she knew i was giving up so she had to twist all like shes the one leaving me. The more i learn the stronger i feel and i just deleted all pictures and blocked her number wapp and deleted all her friends from my social media and everything. She has a daughter and i am completely heartbroken to feel i cant save her from this egocentric selfish crapy mother. :(
Thank you for your videos. You articulate their personalities to a T. Every time I feel the cognitive dissonance with the narc I was with for nearly 6 years I immediately turn to your videos as well as merediths, Richard, and Dana. You exude such a beautiful aura. I hope your healing process continues to empower you
It's great to hear someone going into such depths , well done on the research and presentation , and yeah I can see exactly where you are coming from on the bigger picture.
Normally narcs discard and the victim is left alone empty hurt. You can attribute the negatives traits to the narc and to the victim as well. The narc is able to find a new supply and the left behind is still wondering what happened for years. My narc was a covert and I trusted him explicitly. How can I trust anyone???
Thank you!!! Amazing video!!! Everything you said is what I have been going through!! 8 years of narcissistic abuse and I’m broken. I’m in self healing but I find it difficult... taking it day by day and your video has open my eyes and made me understand more. He was a cancer in my life and i will stay strong and not let him in to destroy me again.
It took me a decade to learn to protect myself and my wife from the misery we were living with, in our case from my younger sister. It was extremely difficult to detach from her due to having been a tight family until it became a survival issue. Now, thanks to your channel and a couple of others I am giddy about grasping the details. It's almost humorous in a weird way. Thank you.
I just want to say thank you for your videos! I was in a relationship with what i believe was an extreme covert narcissist. After a year of abuse and manipulation I finally snapped and fled our home. Everyone thought I was insane and having a melt down. It took looking into my situation more to fully understand what monster I was dealing with. Thank you for putting this type of situation into words.
Ooooo this is so true. My ex used the children to get back at me, telling them all the time that I'm totally crazy. This happens even with living with his new familie, he could not live with the fact that I was happy without him.
mc dijkhuizen So sad when the kids get dragged in. I know the feeling. I wonder what NPD PPL do when they read or hear "I know the feeling," They're prob thinking like "I don't know the feeling and I'm glad!" No ability to empathize or sympathize. I kind of envy that about them... (just a little.)
Oh my grown up children aren't speaking to me at the moment.. my soon to be ex-husband if 30 years has spun his web of lies, triangulation and criticism to distort reality. My ex really wants to destroy me, through my relationship with my children, financially emotionally and mentally...
Hello. I am in such a state right now. With teen kids who have been brainwashed to look at me different And they see no wrong he does . I just want to be Out just scared what will happen to the kids when I am gone
Thank you for this video..as I am battling through this addiction to him and hurting myself by searching him out on social media ECT. Your perspective gives me hope. Such a backslide today stemming from loneliness You helped. ❤
Thank you so much! This helped me so much. I dumped him because he started to hurt me so much, while (I think) dating 2 other men at the same time. He choreographed me to walk in front of the restaurant where he was on a date with a new supply, to get off on me being unaware. Sick. -- Yet I want to go back. That's crazy. -- But he made me feel protected, and I wanted his qualities of strength, I was missing, because as I'm learning from you, got split off me by my abusive dad. -- Keep making videos. They help!!!!!!!
I have watched so many different videos from different people. You are #1 to me. I am saying this due to EVERY THING you say & have been through. Knowledge - abuse - you name it. You are a GURU to me. Thank you for all you share & how you explain & MOST IMPORTANTLY HOW WE MUST LOVE OUR SELF AND LISTEN TO OUR OWN GUT/INSTINCTS. GOD BLESS YOU. Can not get enough of your video's. Have a blessed week.
Such a lovely smart clever intelligent woman. Thanks for helping. I have been on the brink of collapse after narcissistic abuse but happy to report that listening to you has helped me to finally begin to move on.
After I left my narcissistic ex, I've self developed a lot! I can see guys and things more clearly, have more mature thoughts and really working on my goals, become a better version of myself, both inside and outside. You are right , it's a blessing. ❤️
Yeah I'm finding this right now. When she replaced me the pain was so intense I thought I wouldn't survive it, but I'm finding a way and it's glorious. It's shook me out of complacency. Hope you're well
Last year was that dark lonely painful place where I started to heal and see the cycle I've been living with my husband 17 years.But the healing process finally began with these small "eureka" moments. Since last summer Ive planned and actually took me that amount of time to make the decision to leave with my two boys. Moved out almost a week ago. Thank you for your videos and this community of support. Still have a lot of healing and self love but overall feeling a inner peace in my solitude and happiness with my boys actually being able to just be children without the turmoil, chaos and drama that got oh so bad .
Hi TeraMarie! Congratulations on making the leap. You are right - the process begins with Eureka moments and it snowballs from there. All the best to you!
I understand all that you have said, but what if the Narcissist is your Mother? She picked up and moved to the other side of the country, both herself and my Narc sister. We had a beautiful day, the last day, and then she had to cause a fight, to make sure she left me on a very negative note. She moved the day after, never calling to apologize. I did call to apologize to her, because I was feeling so awful and lost. I called and apologized for something I didn't even cause, as I have always done, many times in the past. I think it hurts so much more deeply when it's your Mother. It's very difficult to get over. Now she is surrounded by family (flying monkeys) and I am left with no family (except my 3 children) and feel betrayed, abandoned, and the final discard it's like a huge slap in the face. She has on purpose turned most of my loved ones against me. And I've never done anything to deserve it.
You are so complex and fascinating, I could listen to you speak for hours, it is quit refreshing yet puzzling! I feel I could really be friends with a person like you. I can tell you are a beautiful person inside, I’m glad you are in a healing mode now and escaped your situation. Anyway, until I saw your videos, I wasn’t sure what was happening in my life. I’ve suffered for more than 42 years with my own personal narcissist, you wouldn’t believe the stories I could share with you if you are interested. I’ve always believed information is power, and you have just armed me with a knowledge to help me deal with my situation. First I need to understand my situations so that I can eventually open an escape hatch and leave this nightmare I live in. Listening to your video, I realized that I must be a very strong person to have endured this nightmare for so long. I’m basically the same person I was before I meet her, but she did impact me negatively in a regrettable way that I don’t feel comfortable with. She has made me into a very frustrated and angry person, but by listening to your videos, I realized that this person was a character she created. She wanted to “show” our son what a terrible person I am. Unfortunately, she has created my son in her image too, she molded and filled the empty vessel of my son when he was a young boy into what she wanted, he is now 27 years old, and lives with us. He is her enabler, and is now in the same attack mode that she is constantly in. Well, forgive me for going on and on, but I have so much to share that I have enough information to fill a book. Thanks for listening, have a blessed day and God bless you for the work you do. - Leo (aguirreleo16@yahoo.com) - 16 Aug 2017 (PS: I can’t believe I shared this with you - she has isolated me from EVERYONE, friends, and especially family.)
Val Shelby , yes, I wonder if the abuser has some sort of training in hypnotism or other art. It's really strange the way she can stare at my eyes for a very long time without saying anything. This is usually to bring me back to wanting her.
@@paulbarrett635 I always put my eyes away when I see hypnosis eye because it like give them the power and control over me. I always avoided trauma bonding because I don't look in those eyes when this happens. Hypnosis provides controlled access to memories that may otherwise be kept out of consciousness.
Isabelle Parise , yes, I feel that it is some kind of mind or spirit control that is happening. Not sure that avoiding eye contact would prevent me from not trauma bonding though. I know that the stare helps with them with taking back control again.
@@paulbarrett635 It is a long process, I focus on being authentic that means to focus on reality. Even if can be fascinated for something I really think its all about illusion. When we suffer to much we also escape in a fantasy world but its not real so only deception. What I notice and that we are tempted and tested in this world but we need to heal yourself from the past trauma and working to be less influences from the outside world. Taking care of yourself and learning to have a better self esteem is important knowing who you are before someone else will decide who you are and take control over your life. It all about transition and resilience keep faith and what help me the most is to believe their is good in everyone. A trick always listen to your gut feeling.
She's an angel ! I had no idea how knee deep I was . Thought I understood this ... but she cutting straight to the matter. the inner child ! So eye opening...
You are helping me see better and to get ck on my path. All the healers have been on it longer and make it look easy but, i had a moment of cog dis, and, i feel better now. You're helping me regain energy with all this talk. It's a moment.
This is incredible, I was just saying this to a friend about my narc. Can't spend any time in peaceful or quiet places, or not surrounded by others and noise. Because as I also presumed, God forbid he actually take ownership of what's in there. Just WOW.
At 24:30 , i had a dream, that i didn't quite understand, i have no children yet, but i dreamed i had to go pickup my son from kindergarten, and i was rushing, while i was going to pick him up, i was anxious to go, when i got there, they called him up, and when he came out, it was me as a kid :O and i hugged myself as a kid in my dream soo hard!! , and i didn't understand, until i heard this! Really! God Bless you! Thank you!!!!
Love the long video! Get it, girl. 🤗 Narcissist suck but for me watching video’s like this have really helped me move on and not keep going back. So thank you!
I am not considered an attractive man, infact many would consider me very unattractive and completely out of physical shape, I have low self esteem. When my Narc came into my life, she was a true blessing, she was beautiful, young, nice, caring, and attentive. I fell for her hard, i couldn't believe someone like this truly loved me for the kind of person that i am, eventually things got really bad and she became abusive, I also changed, i became jealous and impatient, it felt like walking on eggshells every day with her, I was always irritated because she would find something, even the most ridiculous stuff to argue about. She would accuse me of being a cheater when I never cheated on her or anyone ever, it was a complete disaster. Now, i see what she is after her discard and everthing makes sense, i regret some of my actions and just wish I would have left sooner and focus on being happy on my own. It still hurts because I think about her and I'm the kind of person to forgive the bad stuff and just focus on the good stuff although sometimes I feel lost and confused. It has been a journey but I have done a lot of healing and I still want to get stronger, i want to eventually forget about her and find the right woman for me. Thank you so much for this video, God Bless
You're a Pole, arent you? Cant go wrong with this accent. I personally, get "sniffed" even with the choice of words of written language, so it needs to be something in the water ;) I love it that channels like yours, with this kind of dedication, talent and work appear from people outside of the US. Narcissism awareness and public discussion needs to be executed. Hope you the best, honey!
Families Supporting Trauma Recovery My ex is a devout Christian and also a covert Narc. She loves Jesus but at the same time is deluded. I am sure she is possessed by the Jezebel spirit. You wouldn't be able to spot it. It took me almost 2.5 years to figure out what was wrong with her. She nearly destroyed me and killed me because of all the emotional abuse. But I guarantee you that if you met her you would love her.
I'm sorry to hear you went through that. Yes that's what I think too. "Christian" narcissists. They twist scripture. They don't actually read the Bible and what they do read is filtered through their distortions. They play the omniscient spiritual teacher. They lie lie lie lie lie. They are splitters who charm, project all bad traits onto a scapegoat, any charity is loudly broadcast, manipulate, falsely accuse, politics, ostracism for superficial reasons but it's really jealousy, curse people with foul language, incredible guise, ingenuous little girl charm, pit people against each other, triangulation, prolonged campaign of denigration and the most self deceptive smoothest liars, think they're superior and pure, hypocrites, bait and switch, darvo, reverse victim offender, haughty arrogance, secret enemies they hate who have no idea, stonewall, sense of entitlement, no sense of consequences to others, and it's all about the cognitive distortions and logical fallacies. I know one who claims she used to be baptist, total lie, knows nothing about it, and is now a new age occult guru. I listen to Derek prince and Tim Keller and Jacob prasch.
Families Supporting Trauma Recovery No no she really is a Christian. She is in the ministry, she evangelizes, she fasts and worships, she created a foundation, volunteers her time and gives money. On the surface she looks like a lovely and sweet girl and this is why I fell in love with her. She is not agrressive, never uses foul language and reads the bible every night, but she is a Covert Narc. She has every characteristic. She is a professional victim (everyone abuses her) never wrong and will smear you to anyone or everything to destroy your reputation, lies by ommission, her supply (constant men around her) Everyone believes her because she is 1. A girl 2. great at playing the victim role and appears to be so nice. She usually gets whatever she wants in life and is climbing the status ladder rather quickly. Does she know she has the Jezebel spirit ? No because she is deluded. Because one side of her wants to be good until she find someone or something as a threat then Jezebel comes out. It is is horrible...and she becomes evil with no compassion or empathy for you.
Families Supporting Trauma Recovery. Yes I love Derek Prince too, but when I read his books and watch his videos I start getting preoccupied with demons..not healthy for me. I used to go to Redeemer church with Tim Keller. I think he is great, but the church is getting too big. For me that is not a good sign and makes it really impersonal because it is difficult to get to know people.
Hi. Just wanted to share, in my experience, narcs don't respect their victims coz they think they are fools to allow themselves to be controlled or manipulated. However when they come across other narcs who don't allow themselves to be controlled or manipulated, they get their reluctant respect. And then they begin to test their manipulative prowess with them to see who wins. It's a game of one upmanship that they enjoy which can go on forever and that's how some narc-narc relationships survive and go on for a long time iand may seem like successful relationships but are actually sick.
I’ve watched two of your videos and can’t wait to see another one. You are spot on and you are definitely helping me cope. In my case it’s my mother and brother in law who are the narcissists. Very abusive and toxic so I went no contact which was not easy. Love your work sweetie and thank you for your insight.
I am very kind to myself, I admire all of my good qualities, and I don't look for others to approve of me or my qualities... in fact, I'm most proud of my ability to always do right by others even if they'll never figure out I was their "benefactor", I am proud of my integrity and trustworthiness... I'm not understanding what she means by getting in touch with my inner child or learning to embrace solitude when the reality is that we're all seeking solid connectivity to others. Life is really about the relationships we build with others and of course the quality of those relationships and not about the slim chance of becoming a millionaire or hitting the jackpot then crashing into tree to avoid killing a squirrel. I don't mind solitude, is what I'm saying, I mind being forced into solitude by some crazy narc or narcs, who go well beyond out of their way to destroy my sense of reality and that the whole world is run or ruled by psychopaths and narcissists (which is not true, of course)... still, those "good people" we all seek and hope to find, they do seem to be scarce if non-existent whenever anyone who's dealt with a narc and is on the healing self path. This excludes all the life coaches from UA-cam, meaning, they're "good people" but they're not in my life.
Wow what a beautiful soul you have!i have to say you have beautiful eyes!i love your way to deliver the message to all who have suffered narc abuse. Listening to you I wish you lived closer. 😁
An example of my experience that ties up with this topic. The narc constantly encouraged me to take her 9 yr old son to learn to play badminton and to get some exercise as well. I play badminton very well and I love helping to bring up her son. Everytime, she goes away jogging(nearby but out of sight), appearing every now and then at the court. Once an older guy showed up and helped me to coach her son. She appeared and got very excited in learing from him, encouraging him to put his arm around her showing her how to hit a backhand properly...forgetting about her son and me. She asked him how to hit a backhand claiming she is not good at it...taking away her son's racquet and with both her arms outstretched, gesturing him to show her physically how to do it. It lasted for about 30 mins and he left. Her eyes kept darting after him sortof trying to find out which direction he went or where he lived. We live in a residential complex. Within minutes she left again chasing after him hoping that she will be able to catch up with him. Seeking new supply in front of me. By the way, this has happened many times in different other situations. As we are close with our narcs, be aware of these, they were and could be very subtle, they are very good at hiding these behaviours, especially the covert ones. Yes, they can't be alone, they look for newer and (they wish) better new supplies...lining them up with you among them.
Love, honor yourself. As well take time to sort out what's benefiting you as an individual with manners. As well respectingother, we don't know what the person near you is going through (family loss, bad day at work etc.) How would you like to be treated or those you love dearly (family) be treated. Respecting others and their space and communication is key.
Oh, wow, I didn't notice that musician until the end of the video! And his unrecognizable instrument looked like a small grill yet producing such beautiful sounds. Impressive!
-MY GRANDPRIZE You live your life like you have no wife or family....You are your biggest priority! You don’t compromise you don’t sympathize never rationalize thru our eyes, you leave us behind with out any mind not a thought at all even when we fall. YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL We have waited so long it's getting hard to be strong. Our love is dear but you're never here you dont feel our hopes or our fear. Even when you're near you;re not here. Always dreaming of the next great thing you shall do. all the while promising us the world but never coming thru always telling us about the things we will do. Promises and lies are the only things we get from you. YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL Black and white day and night there is no in between with you...right or wrong short or long your answer the only one that will do. You think you love us and maybe you do. Who knew? Love feelings have no meaning to you. Compassion and compromise you have yet to realize. Sadness and pain are things you think are vain. You pick us apart and dictate what’s in ours heart. You don’t like what we say and you send us away. YOUR WORlI IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL A house is not a home you don’t love your things. Trees cant grow without light and time is a gift. Believing in you is taking too long, being your wife is stealing my life. You have made me feel small not good at all, you fill me with self doubt and feed me your regrets, took away your respect and left me feeling guilty and alone. YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL Patience is a virtue i hold close to my heart. I learned over time I conquerred my fear, found love for myself and I'm going to hold it dear. It opened my eyes and now I clearly realize, You are your own grandprize! We were just your compromise, part of the disguise. Your friend, your money, and your status have always rule your life. YOU NEVER HAD TIME FOR A WIFE AND FAMILY YOUR WORLD IS SMALL THERE WAS NEVER ROOM AT ALL In return you gave your wife and family no shelter from the storm, no soft spot to fall and no one to call...that’s no life at all. One day you will fall and be made to feel small and you will regret your life that had no time for a wife and family...... Sandra Martin
I love you Darlin. You have been down my road, I love me too, because of such wonderful beings such as you healing is possible. I follow you when I can. My life is incredible now that I have become a force for the enlightenment of all those who suffer from the vampire.
Czesc! Ok thats the only word in Polish I know lol. I wanted to add this: I'm dealing with several Narcs in my life but one female in particular is such an interesting case study for me! She did have a past relationship with another Narc and the things she told me they used to do were worth an Oscar for special effects. These people will first seduce each other (Narc-Narc relationship) and then after a year, start bringing each other down in a horrendous battle for power and attention. One of the 2 HAS to give power away to the other, or alternate giving power away. Eventually the both self destruct themselves: she went into a deep depression and he became violent, started gambling and drinking and going illegal stuff and ended up in jail. 9 months later she is still recovering from this relationship, she is still in contact with the ex (shocking...) and is looking for powerful, rich men to settle down so they can "buy her stuff" which she refers to as "helping her out". I think the only "successful" long term relationship for a Narc is with a codependant non-empath who is clueless about what's going on. Empaths are too sensitive to stay with a Narc, even if they love them. They realize soon that they are being destroyed and leave.
I have a different opinion about Narc-Narc relationships. I've been in two - one was horrific and ended many years ago, the second one was bad in the beginning but once I learned about him and he learned about me it improved and it has so far lasted 5 - 6 years and is pretty strong. I am watching this video because I started a relationship with an empath while I am still in a relationship with my narc. I'd like to keep them both but eventually I think I will have to chose one, and I don't know which one to chose. My narc relationship is great, we have fun together and get along great, and we are open with each other. We have deep intimacy like no other. But I always think in the back of my mind, if he were put in charge of my life support if something were to happen, he would pull the plug. My empath relationship is new and I think he is eventually going to question my behavior and perhaps figure me out. I don't know whom to chose. But speaking about Narc-Narc relationships, I am in one and I am a "success story" of that sort if you can call it a success, I guess non narcs think that a relationship with a narc is bad news no matter how you look at it. Sad...
Gladys, you are in a relationship with somebody which you describe as a "success" but in the mean time you are also seeing another person (possibly behind the first person's back). Let me know when you can find a way to explain this to me in terms of "success".
What a perfect explanation! Thank you! I'm in a relationship with a Narc girl, and she would reply the same way, possibly with a laugh. Love her to death!
wow everything this what you said here is very true and i can totaly relate to and understand! So true.. You / i am becoming completly diferent person i always knew i really am and should act and i knew that way of "my real self" i act upon people love me much more.. Self love, automatic love for others.. so sad too, completle wrong false personality form a narcasist mostly. They always need noise, never quiet in silence or peace.. Im still living with a narcasistic people but i have limited my contacts mostly for the rest of everyday im usally now alone and just starting to explore how much i dont know about myself yet. This is just great and you are an inspiration to me not to give up on love and my true artistic creative smart self ! That want nothing but help the world and people. APpreciate your videos ! i know many words, i watched the whole video, still watching.. had to share my toughts :) i felt its the right thing on this video. You deserve the best, specialy people ! :) Edit: And yeah, you obviously didnt come out with a new video for a long time but when you did, you provided us with a lot and alot of quality informations, even i had to wrote this much see! :D Worth my time to watch it. And yes, THe system is corrupted its not their fault. We need to reclaim out minds, towards everything, life, nature, ancient.. Culture is not your friend. Also to me, if it didnt happened to me, i wouldnt go so far deep into this, reading comenting.. Its beatutiful to remind us we need to know ourselves , great oportunity, it is also a blessing! yOUR Your videos help me push forward and through this fear of unknown self discovery and literaly rewiring my brains into a new my uniqe ways. Ive changed so much when i realized that i was abused.. I stil respect my abusers now, even more.. Following my inner soul gps! :)
Thank you, this video explains his zero alone tolerance policy, he called it "the thrill of the hunt" the harem of supply he had in the background at all times. The lies and the cheating.
I understand what you're saying about getting away from the narcissist . In my situation its my son in law who manipulates my daughter to think I am the problem and he is the savor. Have not seen my grand daughter in a year . It is hell but staying away is the only I can deal with , its like he controls all three of our lives and we have no say what so ever .
Thank you. I have made up my mind. Im done going back to the abuser. I first found out what it was. How I was being treated. The mentally being so different. And now I know how to deal with the after math. And because I dont want any more abusive relationships. Im going to stay tunned in to my self care and your videos. Bless you
Wow such a great video!! Explains so much. So true about the Narc not being able to be alone. Always on the prowl. Mine had a account on a dating website.
There are also Covert Narcissists who make a show of being great upstanding paragons of moral virtue with their philanthropic deeds, they are not so easy to spot though, except I have one family member who is one, and I know his game now is scanning you to find your weakness and exploit you for energy by feeling and pretending moral superiority.
Youve given me hope. It's like kicking a drug habit. Why did I WANT the drug? What is it about ME? I KNEW something was "off", I was needy. This is practical stuff you present, I have hope. I'm travelling too. Thank you
Thrilled he's preoccupied with new supply!
Good riddance.
I discarded and feeling awesome!
Love yourself, Be Happy!!
Carol Loraine yeah
Carol Loraine Discard is a good thing. 👍🏻
Carol Loraine I don’t have any friends to talk to or hang out with and no family here Idk what to do, I’m healing but I’m so lonely I want to enjoy life but no one to enjoy it with .
Took me 5 months to get to this state of mind, I am glad I did in the end
L
I'm a therapist and you are phenomenal. Spot on observations!! Thank you!!
Im in the early stages of heaking. Seeking therapy now.
Love your channel. However i miss the part wolf in sheepclothess..i mean the one whom hates sociaty social media, dont like people and dont mind to be alone. They are shy (or they pretend to be)
@@Angel020969 that would most likely be a counter dependent, or in the most extreme case probably anti social. narcissism is an extreme form of codependency, they need people more than anyone.
@@nobodynowhere5213 I do not completly agree on this one. They are the lone wolf's. They hate people. There are many different kinds . If you are interested look at vids of Sam Vaskin. There are some whom like to withdraw from people. I agree they sometimes need an relationship. But they are very introverted
@@Angel020969 They always need relationships. Narcissist simply cant function without other people. Its actually Sam Vaknin who started to speak about narcissism as extreme form of codependency.. and that it is. As they literally cant survive without other people.
That is why i recommended looking into counter dependency, as they are lone wolfs and share the grandiose ego. But they are not narcissists. Narcissism is quite rare, and not everyone who is an asshole is a narcissist.
My advice from my personal experience. NEVER EVER give them second chances! That will destroy/break you even more! Once you make yourself free from your toxic partner try to focus on yourself and start healing yourself.. You are the MOST IMPORTANT person! I know that we all with healthy emotions and feelings will be tempted to give them another chance... maybe he/she will change.. it was my fault.. They will always come back with a huge drama so you feel pity for them or they will make you feel loved and needed which is their aim. Their sick and cruel game will make YOU to beg for their attention and you will end chasing him/her which only will build up their sick egos.
The worst thing I ever did is take him back. I lost so much
I left the Narcissist, he had started to date someone while we were still together, when I aknowledged the fact, that was for me the end of the road, I left him. I am at the begining of this difficult journey at the moment which happened 2 weeks ago.. and it sucks, but at the same time I feel I was blessed to find out about his coming to be new suply!. When you mentioned the relationship between two narcissists I came to think of a movie with Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turne from 1989 called "The war of the roses" very good example of that sort of relationship :)
Fariba S - I’m now 1 month no contact. Are u still NC ?
Yes I am, and I am so happy to finally break loose from this toxic person. I feel I am gaining my enrgy back, my glow and myslef. This relationship from hell lasted almost 5 years... I am sending kisses towards the Universe and God xxx
Fariba S
"War of the Roses" Lol!! What a wild movie! Surely a Narc + Narc love gone bad story. Or perhaps this; Only ONE was NPD, the other fairly normal... (w/e normal is,) and at some point, after so many years and so much discord, the NON-NPD went bat-shit crazy! Completely off the deep end.
EITHER WAY, a true cautionary-tale and a good example.
I too have felt like a magnet for narcs. You are such an angel for taking the time to comfort and educate us who are hurting after being devalued by a
narc. I had given up on love. Your videos have been such a source of hope. Thanks again!
Carol Smith I’ve just discovered about NpD and I’ve realized that I need more boundaries w these ppl . The more boundaries I put up the smaller my circle has become . It sad when someone comes into your life wearing a mask of kindness only for you too be abused . I’m so empathic that I’m a ( was ) for these soul suckers .. they’re so Draining .😢
So needy. They can't be alone even with their own thoughts
Boom yup
That really did help. Plus, I was lonely and it was great to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you. Don't apologize for the length. Lonely people like this length video. I may replay it later to see how far I've come. 💞Robin
Move towards solitude from loneliness
Now im excited to spend time alone and getting in touch with my lost inner child!...Never will I be loneiy again! :)
Yes! This is indeed an incredible process that will yield priceless gifts that shall be your forever. Blessings to you!
S K OMG I thought I was having a psychotic break last week. With 45 days free of emotional abuse my inner child decided it was okay to to crawl out of the blackness. Joyfully for days I couldn’t stop talking about her in 3rd party.
Move towards solitude from loneliness
I never really was a person to feel lonely, but it's to go a little deep now since this encounter with a narc!
My ex was a recluse covert narcissist. When he was around people he had to be the center of attention. But during the day he would not speak or see anybody except me. Very controlling, manipulating, he picked fights with me, he loved to twist everything I said and tell others lies about me so he looked like the victim. It took me nearly 9 years to get away from him. But I did and it was the best decision I ever made. Thanks for all your videos. Much appreciated.
Same thing happened to me best thing I ever done was leave .walk away into homeless lost house everything .he gave all my stuff away .hes married again I get peace now but he slags me to my kids and everyone sucked my sister in he still goes to see her .i have new house better stuff I'm a stronger person .he will never get to treat me like peace trash again
Yvonne Hanlon We are free as a bird. Better off without them.
We're we in the same Haram! Lol. Sounds just like my narcissist!!
They start the fire, put it out, and then call themselves the HERO. I have seen it and told him that so many times. They really don't get it.
Now that sounds like real gaslighting to me!
They get it alright. They RELISH in it.
Never apologize again for anything you say or do!! That's your ego trying to put you down. YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION! Thank you!!!
I absolutely love your videos I feel like nobody can relate to me because they never went through this type of abuse
Discarded a month ago,I'm safe but confused!
@@TrinketStarz Well said!👌
Better to be confused than being crushed emotionally daily....stay strong!
I'm now going through mental trauma bcoz i love her n i alwyz welcom her evn if she did evry possible inhuman treatment n abused me n destroy me to the core
@@nssingh1030 you,ll get through it seek therapy and pray.. almost four months for me still lonely but trying to get pass the trauma every morning i wake up i go through it dont know what's going on its like the devil. Keep praying
C Thomas I’m going thru the same exact thing so lonely
They meet the new supply before you leave them most of ths time.
Sandra DiBiaso yes we are ex before we knew it.
So truuee. Mine lied to me about being back with his ex before I realized it was all a manipulation tactic. I still really miss him like a dumb ass tbh. Hope you all are coping well tho.
Or leave You for someone......💔
I recall him interrupting my phone calls with him, every few minutes, to take other calls. He was setting up my replacements while we were in the first enthusiastic days.
Yes
Your reflections are like listening to my own thoughts....thanks for confirming that i am not alone!
Ohhhh this helped me tremendously!!! I am in the trenches now...just leaving 33 yrs of Narcissist regime!!! And I am finding out that being totally feels a little scary but it's FREEDOM 🎉
I knew his treatment of me was not normal for someone you love...but did not realize until now it actually is narcissist behavior. He is textbook narcissist. Ugh how did I put up with his crap soooo long! I am angry at myself!
You sound like me. I left after 35. But I too didn't know what it was. Was it him or was it me. I left 4 years ago and still alone but I'm happier than I have ever been. Hang in there it's not you it's him!!! You can be happy but he will never be happy no matter who he gets in his miserable life. Be strong!!
24 years for me! I feel the same, how did I stay and put my kids through That!!
Love your eyes, you are a very authentic beautiful being:))
The new supply is literally killing me to know he’s with someone else after also leaving me with his only child who’s only 2
Count your many blessings for your child. The child does not have to grow up in that toxic environment. The less he has to do with him/her the better off you child is. I stayed with mine because of children and that was NOT a good decision they now adults said I should have left.
Kristel,you are beautiful and you deserve someone who loves you and your baby.Narcs Dont love anyone. Stay strong if he trys to return after they end.Love yourself X It gets easier x
I'm so sorry!🤤
My now ex husband had an affair and I agreed to have him come back to try to work it out. He never apologized for his actions. He just said, " we r even" from an encounter I had when we were first dating. He always reminded me every yr about it from then on. He was sneaky, dramatic, manipulative and had no respect for me . I gave and gave and he took and took.
Days after our divorce he moved in with her. I had a deep feeling he would do that and I was right!
Yes all I hear they r so happy. He never told me ir his kids he was moving in with her. Such a coward and liar.
I have hit rock bottom and have picked myself back up knowing I definitely deserve so much better!
I have been working on myself and even like the person I see in the mirror again. I thought it was me but I have so much love to give. I am definitely setting boundaries and no one will ever walk all over me again.
Thank you for wonderful reading!
Again a great video! No, I'll never be hoovered again because I know now he never gave a damn after 7 times trying and I was nothing to him, actually less than nothing in fact. That was the hardest part for me, realising finally he didn't give a shit. Anyone in the early stages , please don't go back, it does get worse...Gift of the gab, I love it! I'm from Blarney where that saying came from, kiss the Blarney Stone and you'll get the gift ! They talk and talk, have great stories but they repeat the same tales over and over again which is why they need new supplies, a new audience, because those who know them well or have a decent built in radar, get very weary of hearing the same tripe over and over again..They are emotionally empty people who need to feed off of others . 8 months no contact, difficult and emotional, yes, but this journey to discover who I really am will be worth it. You're a star, thank you for taking the time, apologies for the rambling text :-) xx ps, my narc admitted the worst thing that could happen to him was being alone!
You are spot on, Jackie! They do repeat the same stuff over and over. And are all so similar to each other, as if they had gone to the same training school. I was at Blarney and kissed the stone in 2007! This is how I remembered the saying : ) Blessings to you! Keep up the great work and enjoy the process of getting to know the splendor of your soul.
JackieT14 they are shallow,they have such limited things to say that they do repeat the same old sentences over and over again ,same old sayings they have ,over and over cos they don't have their own ideas or morals,no soul
You're right Julie Wesson, in my experience I've found they have lots of ideas but those are usually very grandiose, over the top, pitched in such a way it's like they've invented the wheel! and most of the time borrowed from someone or somewhere else! few morals and no soul..that's so true
JackieT14 . So true. I heard the same lame stories over and over and over. My ex never once tried to get to know me. Never asked about my hobbies, interests, books I read, nothing. I was just there to be an audience. So tiresome.
JackieT14 SPOT ON! They are so freakin BORING
I like your long videos, not a problem ! :)
No matter how long it takes to get the message across - more the merrier
Spot on. The minute they are alone they seek the next victim.
They never wait till they are alone. They seek one while with you. They also have the Harem Garage
A healthy whole person has boundaries and aren't narcissistic magnets which is why Ross Rosenberg discusses the dance between the nac & empathy and the fact that it feels so natural. The empathy actually is trying to heal their own hurts by fixing someone else. As you stated we inevitably thru these abusive relationships seek healing bc the pain is unbearable. Essentially, the Narcs drives us to heal & intergration. Yes, I'm discovering my inner child in a healthy way thru healing myself.
You are so wise - this video was sooo helpful. I am a widow who was targetted by a narcissist because I was so vulnerable and raw. Eight months with him - magical, crazy fun & love - or so I thought. Only to be discarded 3 times. I have NEVER been treated like this and definitely have a trauma bond. These videos are really helping me - I can't wait to be 100% over this nightmare.
CD You will be free! Sending you lots of love.
I just wanted to say thank you for your vidoes and your strength and compassion! Watching these is literally the only thing giving me hope and getting me through this hell. Thank you so very much!☺
you are so on point because you went through it. its only people that have experienced it that can connect. I DO. it's a very painful thing. But people don't recognize it easily. i ve taken time to heal but the healing takes time. loneliness is not my problem but getting to be in a healthy relationship is.
Thank you. You have given me hope, at a time in my life when I truly need it.
Andreas Larsen - It is better now?
Thank you.
How are you doing now my dude? Going through it now myself..
@@neverbows 😢
I have only met a couple of true narcissists in my life. I am in a healthy environment now. Because these narcissists share my faith they try to hoover by playing on the whole value of "forgiveness" and "needing to talk". I can forgive without exposing myself to a narcissist however. I think the narcissists who are most dangerous are those who use their faith or spiritual leadership as an excuse. Not saying spiritual leadership is bad. It's awesome! I aspire to it in some ways and am mentoring a guy who is like the younger brother I never had! But yeah the glitz and glam of some spiritual leadership is attractive to a narcissist.
Oh, and thanks for your channel / posting. Sounds like a great season for you!
ThrivolousZ Yes, that makes sense....super dangerous
I agree. Mine was a good religious boy, which confused me soo much, because what he presented himself as and what he did were two different things.
Agreed. They are never alone, in my experience. In fact, it has only been within the last year that I discovered how “not alone” my ex was throughout our marriage.
So, they trauma bond the hell out of you to make sure you don’t even want to escape.
Oh my ! You helped me so much ! I'm having the hardest time trying to stay free from my ex-narc, it feel so clean and free being away from him, but my mind is dealing with that emptiness I can't explain, we know these type of people arent good for us, but if only I can shut down the love feelings that i have for him. Its so confusing to my brain that I'm missing someone who was toxic and abusive to me. This video was so helpful and shed so much truth and light to me. I needed for you to put it just like you did. I feel so much better and all that you said was right on point. Thank you ! May God bless you to keep helping those like myself who struggle with that pain that they (the narc) leave us in.
Chelsea Nettles i describe it as this: they are cocaine and we are the drug addict we want more of that drug all though we acknowledge its destroying us in all ways... our job is to voluntarily go through the abstinence process to detox and its very painful. Im going through this just now. Its confusing not easy to understand and you cant even believe sometimes they really are what they are. Its a denial and confrontation of so many emotions. Mine just discarded because she knew I was confronting her without even know this info and she knew i was giving up so she had to twist all like shes the one leaving me. The more i learn the stronger i feel and i just deleted all pictures and blocked her number wapp and deleted all her friends from my social media and everything. She has a daughter and i am completely heartbroken to feel i cant save her from this egocentric selfish crapy mother. :(
wonderful...🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈
Thank you for your videos. You articulate their personalities to a T. Every time I feel the cognitive dissonance with the narc I was with for nearly 6 years I immediately turn to your videos as well as merediths, Richard, and Dana. You exude such a beautiful aura. I hope your healing process continues to empower you
aamandaawong - Check out “Kris” as well
Thank you I left Four months ago. He asked me back several times I said No! I took my power back. Happy Holidays
like the devil he comes to "seek and destroy"
Alex s..so true, they are Satan his self
Very true
Seek, kill and destroy. That’s why most try to drive you to kill yourself. It’s their end goal.
So True!😟
Stefan Christiaan
I understand. It’s okay to go no contact. Save yourself.
You have such valid things to say, please don't be concerned about how long the videos are.. Good job! Thankyou
It's great to hear someone going into such depths , well done on the research and presentation , and yeah I can see exactly where you are coming from on the bigger picture.
Normally narcs discard and the victim is left alone empty hurt. You can attribute the negatives traits to the narc and to the victim as well. The narc is able to find a new supply and the left behind is still wondering what happened for years. My narc was a covert and I trusted him explicitly. How can I trust anyone???
Did u go No Contact?
My issue as well.
Yes good question
Such a beautiful intellectual soul you are! Love the name of the channel, Soul GPS, explains what you do perfectly. Really appreciate your work !!
Thank you!!! Amazing video!!! Everything you said is what I have been going through!! 8 years of narcissistic abuse and I’m broken. I’m in self healing but I find it difficult... taking it day by day and your video has open my eyes and made me understand more. He was a cancer in my life and i will stay strong and not let him in to destroy me again.
It took me a decade to learn to protect myself and my wife from the misery we were living with, in our case from my younger sister. It was extremely difficult to detach from her due to having been a tight family until it became a survival issue. Now, thanks to your channel and a couple of others I am giddy about grasping the details. It's almost humorous in a weird way. Thank you.
I just want to say thank you for your videos! I was in a relationship with what i believe was an extreme covert narcissist. After a year of abuse and manipulation I finally snapped and fled our home. Everyone thought I was insane and having a melt down. It took looking into my situation more to fully understand what monster I was dealing with.
Thank you for putting this type of situation into words.
Ooooo this is so true. My ex used the children to get back at me, telling them all the time that I'm totally crazy. This happens even with living with his new familie, he could not live with the fact that I was happy without him.
mc dijkhuizen
So sad when the kids get dragged in. I know the feeling.
I wonder what NPD PPL do when they read or hear "I know the feeling," They're prob thinking like "I don't know the feeling and I'm glad!" No ability to empathize or sympathize. I kind of envy that about them... (just a little.)
Just to give these old nerves a break.
Oh my grown up children aren't speaking to me at the moment.. my soon to be ex-husband if 30 years has spun his web of lies, triangulation and criticism to distort reality.
My ex really wants to destroy me, through my relationship with my children, financially emotionally and mentally...
Hello. I am in such a state right now. With teen kids who have been brainwashed to look at me different And they see no wrong he does . I just want to be Out just scared what will happen to the kids when I am gone
Thank you for this video..as I am battling through this addiction to him and hurting myself by searching him out on social media ECT. Your perspective gives me hope. Such a backslide today stemming from loneliness You helped. ❤
Thank you so much! This helped me so much. I dumped him because he started to hurt me so much, while (I think) dating 2 other men at the same time. He choreographed me to walk in front of the restaurant where he was on a date with a new supply, to get off on me being unaware. Sick. -- Yet I want to go back. That's crazy. -- But he made me feel protected, and I wanted his qualities of strength, I was missing, because as I'm learning from you, got split off me by my abusive dad. -- Keep making videos. They help!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for your videos! I am healing from this abuse. You are helping so much!!
I have watched so many different videos from different people. You are #1 to me. I am saying this due to EVERY THING you say & have been through. Knowledge - abuse - you name it. You are a GURU to me. Thank you for all you share & how you explain & MOST IMPORTANTLY HOW WE MUST LOVE OUR SELF AND LISTEN TO OUR OWN GUT/INSTINCTS. GOD BLESS YOU. Can not get enough of your video's. Have a blessed week.
Such a lovely smart clever intelligent woman. Thanks for helping. I have been on the brink of collapse after narcissistic abuse but happy to report that listening to you has helped me to finally begin to move on.
After I left my narcissistic ex, I've self developed a lot! I can see guys and things more clearly, have more mature thoughts and really working on my goals, become a better version of myself, both inside and outside. You are right , it's a blessing. ❤️
Yeah I'm finding this right now. When she replaced me the pain was so intense I thought I wouldn't survive it, but I'm finding a way and it's glorious. It's shook me out of complacency. Hope you're well
Last year was that dark lonely painful place where I started to heal and see the cycle I've been living with my husband 17 years.But the healing process finally began with these small "eureka" moments. Since last summer Ive planned and actually took me that amount of time to make the decision to leave with my two boys. Moved out almost a week ago.
Thank you for your videos and this community of support. Still have a lot of healing and self love but overall feeling a inner peace in my solitude and happiness with my boys actually being able to just be children without the turmoil, chaos and drama that got oh so bad .
Hi TeraMarie! Congratulations on making the leap. You are right - the process begins with Eureka moments and it snowballs from there. All the best to you!
So spot on..got the next supply before he put me out of our home...
He will do same to her she has already given up her child for him...
I understand all that you have said, but what if the Narcissist is your Mother? She picked up and moved to the other side of the country, both herself and my Narc sister. We had a beautiful day, the last day, and then she had to cause a fight, to make sure she left me on a very negative note. She moved the day after, never calling to apologize. I did call to apologize to her, because I was feeling so awful and lost. I called and apologized for something I didn't even cause, as I have always done, many times in the past. I think it hurts so much more deeply when it's your Mother. It's very difficult to get over. Now she is surrounded by family (flying monkeys) and I am left with no family (except my 3 children) and feel betrayed, abandoned, and the final discard it's like a huge slap in the face. She has on purpose turned most of my loved ones against me. And I've never done anything to deserve it.
No contact from last 2 months ...your videos has helped me lot .
Thanks for educating us
God bless you
Excellent! Keep it up : )
You are so complex and fascinating, I could listen to you speak for hours, it is quit refreshing yet puzzling! I feel I could really be friends with a person like you. I can tell you are a beautiful person inside, I’m glad you are in a healing mode now and escaped your situation. Anyway, until I saw your videos, I wasn’t sure what was happening in my life. I’ve suffered for more than 42 years with my own personal narcissist, you wouldn’t believe the stories I could share with you if you are interested. I’ve always believed information is power, and you have just armed me with a knowledge to help me deal with my situation. First I need to understand my situations so that I can eventually open an escape hatch and leave this nightmare I live in. Listening to your video, I realized that I must be a very strong person to have endured this nightmare for so long. I’m basically the same person I was before I meet her, but she did impact me negatively in a regrettable way that I don’t feel comfortable with. She has made me into a very frustrated and angry person, but by listening to your videos, I realized that this person was a character she created. She wanted to “show” our son what a terrible person I am. Unfortunately, she has created my son in her image too, she molded and filled the empty vessel of my son when he was a young boy into what she wanted, he is now 27 years old, and lives with us. He is her enabler, and is now in the same attack mode that she is constantly in. Well, forgive me for going on and on, but I have so much to share that I have enough information to fill a book. Thanks for listening, have a blessed day and God bless you for the work you do. - Leo (aguirreleo16@yahoo.com) - 16 Aug 2017 (PS: I can’t believe I shared this with you - she has isolated me from EVERYONE, friends, and especially family.)
Please don't worry so much about the length of your videos. I know I probably speak for most watching when I say, I wish they wouldn't end.
Thank you! I love making long videos...
@@SoulGPS I agree. I love all your insights. They truly help!
Love this information and you deserve to be told that your strength is so empowering and thank you..
You are Awesome! Thanks for making the World a better place! Very Grateful for the work you are doing!
Where have you been all my life!!! You make my heart smile bc you are authentic! You can come stay with me!!!
Thank you so much for answering my question about 2 narcissists in a relationship🌷. Great video. I don't mind the length at all!
and not to mention their eyes are very hypnotizing where u feel as if they possessed u or something?
they are stuck in a negative cycle
Val Shelby , yes, I wonder if the abuser has some sort of training in hypnotism or other art. It's really strange the way she can stare at my eyes for a very long time without saying anything. This is usually to bring me back to wanting her.
@@paulbarrett635 I always put my eyes away when I see hypnosis eye because it like give them the power and control over me. I always avoided trauma bonding because I don't look in those eyes when this happens. Hypnosis provides controlled access to memories that may otherwise be kept out of consciousness.
Isabelle Parise , yes, I feel that it is some kind of mind or spirit control that is happening. Not sure that avoiding eye contact would prevent me from not trauma bonding though.
I know that the stare helps with them with taking back control again.
@@paulbarrett635 It is a long process, I focus on being authentic that means to focus on reality. Even if can be fascinated for something I really think its all about illusion. When we suffer to much we also escape in a fantasy world but its not real so only deception. What I notice and that we are tempted and tested in this world but we need to heal yourself from the past trauma and working to be less influences from the outside world. Taking care of yourself and learning to have a better self esteem is important knowing who you are before someone else will decide who you are and take control over your life. It all about transition and resilience keep faith and what help me the most is to believe their is good in everyone. A trick always listen to your gut feeling.
She's an angel ! I had no idea how knee deep I was . Thought I understood this ... but she cutting straight to the matter. the inner child ! So eye opening...
This is a great piece of information! Thank you! It helped me so much!!💕
You are helping me see better and to get ck on my path. All the healers have been on it longer and make it look easy but, i had a moment of cog dis, and, i feel better now.
You're helping me regain energy with all this talk. It's a moment.
This is incredible, I was just saying this to a friend about my narc. Can't spend any time in peaceful or quiet
places, or not surrounded by others and noise. Because as I also presumed,
God forbid he actually take ownership
of what's in there. Just WOW.
At 24:30 , i had a dream, that i didn't quite understand, i have no children yet, but i dreamed i had to go pickup my son from kindergarten, and i was rushing, while i was going to pick him up, i was anxious to go, when i got there, they called him up, and when he came out, it was me as a kid :O and i hugged myself as a kid in my dream soo hard!! , and i didn't understand, until i heard this! Really! God Bless you! Thank you!!!!
What a precious realization, Chris! Thank you so much for sharing...
Wow. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
Love the long video! Get it, girl. 🤗 Narcissist suck but for me watching video’s like this have really helped me move on and not keep going back. So thank you!
I am not considered an attractive man, infact many would consider me very unattractive and completely out of physical shape, I have low self esteem. When my Narc came into my life, she was a true blessing, she was beautiful, young, nice, caring, and attentive. I fell for her hard, i couldn't believe someone like this truly loved me for the kind of person that i am, eventually things got really bad and she became abusive, I also changed, i became jealous and impatient, it felt like walking on eggshells every day with her, I was always irritated because she would find something, even the most ridiculous stuff to argue about. She would accuse me of being a cheater when I never cheated on her or anyone ever, it was a complete disaster. Now, i see what she is after her discard and everthing makes sense, i regret some of my actions and just wish I would have left sooner and focus on being happy on my own. It still hurts because I think about her and I'm the kind of person to forgive the bad stuff and just focus on the good stuff although sometimes I feel lost and confused. It has been a journey but I have done a lot of healing and I still want to get stronger, i want to eventually forget about her and find the right woman for me. Thank you so much for this video, God Bless
I hear you! It was very similar for me. I also did things I'm not proud of.........instead of just walking away.
Same guys. They really target good people only to use them to regulate and dump all their negative emotikns onto
You're a Pole, arent you? Cant go wrong with this accent.
I personally, get "sniffed" even with the choice of words of written language, so it needs to be something in the water ;)
I love it that channels like yours, with this kind of dedication, talent and work appear from people outside of the US.
Narcissism awareness and public discussion needs to be executed.
Hope you the best, honey!
In twenty five years I've never seen the transformation at the personality and character level in anyone without Jesus Christ.
Families Supporting Trauma Recovery My ex is a devout Christian and also a covert Narc. She loves Jesus but at the same time is deluded. I am sure she is possessed by the Jezebel spirit. You wouldn't be able to spot it. It took me almost 2.5 years to figure out what was wrong with her. She nearly destroyed me and killed me because of all the emotional abuse. But I guarantee you that if you met her you would love her.
I'm sorry to hear you went through that. Yes that's what I think too. "Christian" narcissists. They twist scripture. They don't actually read the Bible and what they do read is filtered through their distortions. They play the omniscient spiritual teacher. They lie lie lie lie lie. They are splitters who charm, project all bad traits onto a scapegoat, any charity is loudly broadcast, manipulate, falsely accuse, politics, ostracism for superficial reasons but it's really jealousy, curse people with foul language, incredible guise, ingenuous little girl charm, pit people against each other, triangulation, prolonged campaign of denigration and the most self deceptive smoothest liars, think they're superior and pure, hypocrites, bait and switch, darvo, reverse victim offender, haughty arrogance, secret enemies they hate who have no idea, stonewall, sense of entitlement, no sense of consequences to others, and it's all about the cognitive distortions and logical fallacies. I know one who claims she used to be baptist, total lie, knows nothing about it, and is now a new age occult guru. I listen to Derek prince and Tim Keller and Jacob prasch.
Thugs.
Families Supporting Trauma Recovery No no she really is a Christian. She is in the ministry, she evangelizes, she fasts and worships, she created a foundation, volunteers her time and gives money. On the surface she looks like a lovely and sweet girl and this is why I fell in love with her. She is not agrressive, never uses foul language and reads the bible every night, but she is a Covert Narc. She has every characteristic. She is a professional victim (everyone abuses her) never wrong and will smear you to anyone or everything to destroy your reputation, lies by ommission, her supply (constant men around her) Everyone believes her because she is 1. A girl 2. great at playing the victim role and appears to be so nice. She usually gets whatever she wants in life and is climbing the status ladder rather quickly. Does she know she has the Jezebel spirit ? No because she is deluded. Because one side of her wants to be good until she find someone or something as a threat then Jezebel comes out. It is is horrible...and she becomes evil with no compassion or empathy for you.
Families Supporting Trauma Recovery. Yes I love Derek Prince too, but when I read his books and watch his videos I start getting preoccupied with demons..not healthy for me. I used to go to Redeemer church with Tim Keller. I think he is great, but the church is getting too big. For me that is not a good sign and makes it really impersonal because it is difficult to get to know people.
Hi. Just wanted to share, in my experience, narcs don't respect their victims coz they think they are fools to allow themselves to be controlled or manipulated. However when they come across other narcs who don't allow themselves to be controlled or manipulated, they get their reluctant respect. And then they begin to test their manipulative prowess with them to see who wins. It's a game of one upmanship that they enjoy which can go on forever and that's how some narc-narc relationships survive and go on for a long time iand may seem like successful relationships but are actually sick.
I’ve watched two of your videos and can’t wait to see another one. You are spot on and you are definitely helping me cope. In my case it’s my mother and brother in law who are the narcissists. Very abusive and toxic so I went no contact which was not easy. Love your work sweetie and thank you for your insight.
Once again I've been there and now I am happy you are bringing this out. You are a blessing to me, Love you, must be on guard.
It is most sadistic...god bless❤🌺
my aunt and her husband are both Narcissists, fighting 24 hours, super super disgusting, but Forever together, and together hurt others....
Wow! I had the same encounter ! From bubbling conversation/personality suddenly he dropped to his childhood drama.
I really am so thankful and grateful to have come across your beautiful soul. Your contributions are wonderful.
I am very kind to myself, I admire all of my good qualities, and I don't look for others to approve of me or my qualities... in fact, I'm most proud of my ability to always do right by others even if they'll never figure out I was their "benefactor", I am proud of my integrity and trustworthiness... I'm not understanding what she means by getting in touch with my inner child or learning to embrace solitude when the reality is that we're all seeking solid connectivity to others. Life is really about the relationships we build with others and of course the quality of those relationships and not about the slim chance of becoming a millionaire or hitting the jackpot then crashing into tree to avoid killing a squirrel. I don't mind solitude, is what I'm saying, I mind being forced into solitude by some crazy narc or narcs, who go well beyond out of their way to destroy my sense of reality and that the whole world is run or ruled by psychopaths and narcissists (which is not true, of course)... still, those "good people" we all seek and hope to find, they do seem to be scarce if non-existent whenever anyone who's dealt with a narc and is on the healing self path. This excludes all the life coaches from UA-cam, meaning, they're "good people" but they're not in my life.
Wow what a beautiful soul you have!i have to say you have beautiful eyes!i love your way to deliver the message to all who have suffered narc abuse. Listening to you I wish you lived closer. 😁
I have to add the way to get past the abuse is to LIVE in the present and LEAVE THE PASY IN THE PAST!,
Past lol
An example of my experience that ties up with this topic. The narc constantly encouraged me to take her 9 yr old son to learn to play badminton and to get some exercise as well. I play badminton very well and I love helping to bring up her son. Everytime, she goes away jogging(nearby but out of sight), appearing every now and then at the court. Once an older guy showed up and helped me to coach her son. She appeared and got very excited in learing from him, encouraging him to put his arm around her showing her how to hit a backhand properly...forgetting about her son and me. She asked him how to hit a backhand claiming she is not good at it...taking away her son's racquet and with both her arms outstretched, gesturing him to show her physically how to do it. It lasted for about 30 mins and he left. Her eyes kept darting after him sortof trying to find out which direction he went or where he lived. We live in a residential complex. Within minutes she left again chasing after him hoping that she will be able to catch up with him. Seeking new supply in front of me. By the way, this has happened many times in different other situations. As we are close with our narcs, be aware of these, they were and could be very subtle, they are very good at hiding these behaviours, especially the covert ones. Yes, they can't be alone, they look for newer and (they wish) better new supplies...lining them up with you among them.
Love, honor yourself. As well take time to sort out what's benefiting you as an individual with manners. As well respectingother, we don't know what the person near you is going through (family loss, bad day at work etc.) How would you like to be treated or those you love dearly (family) be treated. Respecting others and their space and communication is key.
Oh, wow, I didn't notice that musician until the end of the video! And his unrecognizable instrument looked like a small grill yet producing such beautiful sounds. Impressive!
-MY GRANDPRIZE
You live your life like you have no wife or family....You are your biggest priority! You don’t compromise you don’t sympathize never rationalize thru our eyes, you leave us behind with out any mind not a thought at all even when we fall.
YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL
We have waited so long it's getting hard to be strong. Our love is dear but you're never here you dont feel our hopes or our fear. Even when you're near you;re not here. Always dreaming of the next great thing you shall do. all the while promising us the world but never coming thru always telling us about the things we will do. Promises and lies are the only things we get from you.
YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL
Black and white day and night there is no in between with you...right or wrong short or long
your answer the only one that will do.
You think you love us and maybe you do.
Who knew? Love feelings have no meaning to you. Compassion and compromise you have yet to realize. Sadness and pain are things you think are vain. You pick us apart and dictate what’s in ours heart. You don’t like what we say and you send us away.
YOUR WORlI IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL
A house is not a home you don’t love your things. Trees cant grow without light and time is a gift.
Believing in you is taking too long, being your wife is stealing my life. You have made me feel small not good at all, you fill me with self doubt and feed me your regrets, took away your respect and left me feeling guilty and alone.
YOUR WORLD IS SMALL NO ROOM AT ALL
Patience is a virtue i hold close to my heart. I learned over time I conquerred my fear, found love for myself and I'm going to hold it dear.
It opened my eyes and now I clearly realize,
You are your own grandprize!
We were just your compromise, part of the disguise.
Your friend, your money, and your status have always rule your life.
YOU NEVER HAD TIME FOR A WIFE AND FAMILY
YOUR WORLD IS SMALL THERE WAS NEVER ROOM AT ALL
In return you gave your wife and family no shelter from the storm, no soft spot to fall and no one to call...that’s no life at all.
One day you will fall and be made to feel small and you will regret your life that had no time for a wife and family......
Sandra Martin
You are such an inspiration! ❤
J Marie Hill
So true!
Thank you.
Wise beyond your age.
Refreshing
&
Enlightening.
I love you Darlin. You have been down my road, I love me too, because of such wonderful beings such as you healing is possible. I follow you when I can. My life is incredible now that I have become a force for the enlightenment of all those who suffer from the vampire.
Czesc! Ok thats the only word in Polish I know lol.
I wanted to add this: I'm dealing with several Narcs in my life but one female in particular is such an interesting case study for me! She did have a past relationship with another Narc and the things she told me they used to do were worth an Oscar for special effects. These people will first seduce each other (Narc-Narc relationship) and then after a year, start bringing each other down in a horrendous battle for power and attention. One of the 2 HAS to give power away to the other, or alternate giving power away. Eventually the both self destruct themselves: she went into a deep depression and he became violent, started gambling and drinking and going illegal stuff and ended up in jail.
9 months later she is still recovering from this relationship, she is still in contact with the ex (shocking...) and is looking for powerful, rich men to settle down so they can "buy her stuff" which she refers to as "helping her out".
I think the only "successful" long term relationship for a Narc is with a codependant non-empath who is clueless about what's going on. Empaths are too sensitive to stay with a Narc, even if they love them. They realize soon that they are being destroyed and leave.
Cześć Mike! Thank you so much for sharing! This is very insightful.
I have a different opinion about Narc-Narc relationships. I've been in two - one was horrific and ended many years ago, the second one was bad in the beginning but once I learned about him and he learned about me it improved and it has so far lasted 5 - 6 years and is pretty strong. I am watching this video because I started a relationship with an empath while I am still in a relationship with my narc. I'd like to keep them both but eventually I think I will have to chose one, and I don't know which one to chose. My narc relationship is great, we have fun together and get along great, and we are open with each other. We have deep intimacy like no other. But I always think in the back of my mind, if he were put in charge of my life support if something were to happen, he would pull the plug. My empath relationship is new and I think he is eventually going to question my behavior and perhaps figure me out. I don't know whom to chose. But speaking about Narc-Narc relationships, I am in one and I am a "success story" of that sort if you can call it a success, I guess non narcs think that a relationship with a narc is bad news no matter how you look at it. Sad...
Gladys, you are in a relationship with somebody which you describe as a "success" but in the mean time you are also seeing another person (possibly behind the first person's back).
Let me know when you can find a way to explain this to me in terms of "success".
I am a narcissist. That's what we do
What a perfect explanation! Thank you!
I'm in a relationship with a Narc girl, and she would reply the same way, possibly with a laugh. Love her to death!
Very informative video. Thankyou. Please don't worry so much about watching the clock. Blessings
wow everything this what you said here is very true and i can totaly relate to and understand! So true.. You / i am becoming completly diferent person i always knew i really am and should act and i knew that way of "my real self" i act upon people love me much more.. Self love, automatic love for others.. so sad too, completle wrong false personality form a narcasist mostly. They always need noise, never quiet in silence or peace.. Im still living with a narcasistic people but i have limited my contacts mostly for the rest of everyday im usally now alone and just starting to explore how much i dont know about myself yet. This is just great and you are an inspiration to me not to give up on love and my true artistic creative smart self ! That want nothing but help the world and people. APpreciate your videos ! i know many words, i watched the whole video, still watching.. had to share my toughts :) i felt its the right thing on this video. You deserve the best, specialy people ! :)
Edit: And yeah, you obviously didnt come out with a new video for a long time but when you did, you provided us with a lot and alot of quality informations, even i had to wrote this much see! :D Worth my time to watch it. And yes, THe system is corrupted its not their fault. We need to reclaim out minds, towards everything, life, nature, ancient.. Culture is not your friend.
Also to me, if it didnt happened to me, i wouldnt go so far deep into this, reading comenting.. Its beatutiful to remind us we need to know ourselves , great oportunity, it is also a blessing! yOUR Your videos help me push forward and through this fear of unknown self discovery and literaly rewiring my brains into a new my uniqe ways. Ive changed so much when i realized that i was abused.. I stil respect my abusers now, even more..
Following my inner soul gps! :)
Thank you, this video explains his zero alone tolerance policy, he called it "the thrill of the hunt" the harem of supply he had in the background at all times. The lies and the cheating.
Pani EWO jest Pani NAJLEPSZA
UWIELBIAM Pani nagrania
DZIEKUJE Z CAŁEGO SERCA ♥️🙏
Proszę!
Thankyou for your wise words, it really helped me to understand what's happened to me through the last couple of months x
Thank you soo much keep this information out learning myself
You are so right..I am grateful for your information and hope to be able to begin again with this healing process.
I understand what you're saying about getting away from the narcissist . In my situation its my son in law who manipulates my daughter to think I am the problem and he is the savor. Have not seen my grand daughter in a year . It is hell but staying away is the only I can deal with , its like he controls all three of our lives and we have no say what so ever .
Thank you. I have made up my mind. Im done going back to the abuser. I first found out what it was. How I was being treated. The mentally being so different. And now I know how to deal with the after math. And because I dont want any more abusive relationships. Im going to stay tunned in to my self care and your videos. Bless you
Wow such a great video!! Explains so much. So true about the Narc not being able to be alone. Always on the prowl. Mine had a account on a dating website.
There are also Covert Narcissists who make a show of being great upstanding paragons of moral virtue with their philanthropic deeds, they are not so easy to spot though, except I have one family member who is one, and I know his game now is scanning you to find your weakness and exploit you for energy by feeling and pretending moral superiority.
Khurram Aziz - Also known as “Communal Narcissists”
Khurram Aziz These are the most dangerous. Even I was fooled.
You are absolutely so awesome my daughter was with a narcissistic for 13years and your advice. Is helping
Youve given me hope. It's like kicking a drug habit. Why did I WANT the drug? What is it about ME? I KNEW something was "off", I was needy. This is practical stuff you present, I have hope. I'm travelling too. Thank you
I got so much from this video, thank you !, please don't worry about the length :-)
Solitude is strength.