Honest Conversations with my Chinese Dad (Opening Up) | Cantonese Vlog (English subtitles)
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- Опубліковано 21 сер 2024
- Living and working in London as a Chinese immigrant: An open and honest conversation with my dad in Cantonese opening up about how our father and daughter relationship has changed over the years, his initial disapproval about my job in media, how he came to accept it, what to say to Asian parents if you want to pursue a career in media/the arts/entertainment.
This is the first time we've discussed some of these things in the video and I will always cherish these conversations we have - especially for his openness, his transparency, patience and the time has has allowed for these conversations to take place. These are videos I'll be looking back over the years and wanted to share it with you too in the hope that this will inspire further conversation with your loved ones!
A big thank you to my dad for being so wonderful, caring and a great Cantonese teacher!!!!!
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Your dad saying that he's changed his parenting style to be more friendly discussion is the key to your good relationship. I think a lot of parents treat their kids like babies even when they are adults. I'm almost 40 and feel like they speak to me like I'm 14!
Same!
Same. To them we are always their babies!
I really like that aspect of Shu's dad, he reflects on his own mistakes and tries to change his attitude and approach to his views on things rather than blatantly saying that because he is the Dad and he is the older figure of the household, that he is always right. That's something that needs to be seen more often with parents. As the father rightfully mentioned, the world has changed so much from their time so traditional ways of doing things are not appropriate in today's society.
This video made me very emotional because I wish I had my parents say this to me and have that sort of perspective, rather than forcing a career that I don't want onto me and telling me this is my only option because of how incapable I am to do anything else. As circumstances change, there is a shift in what I want to do, but that's okay. I just do what I need to do now, develop the skills that are necessary for the field that I want to do, and see how things turn out in the unforeseeable future once I'm financially capable of chasing my own dream.
Parents always wish for the best of their kids and as the Dad said, parents can only talk from their experiences, but at the end of the day, everything all comes down to the individual and no parents means any harm to their kids, but are they always right? No.
I wish that I can attend a Chinese school or find an affordable, yet effective way to improve my Cantonese as well as expand my friend circle from part of the culture to share these cultural experiences and struggles with.
Thank you Shu for making this video. This wasn't just a reflection on my parents and upbringing, but also a reflection on myself
I love the translation when he said “I didn’t want to pour cold water on you” like saying he didn’t want to discourage you. I love languages cos the meaning has so much depth to it. It’s beautiful!
Gosh this is intense 😂 such a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s so amazing hearing your Dad talk about his mistakes towards you guys, his ability to acknowledge that certain things weren’t always the best but he changed etc and he said now you have a friendship 🥺🥺🥺 so so precious to hear.
I’d love to talk to my Dad on the phone ❤️🥺
This is such a beautiful video!
Haha I couldn’t remember whether we have this phrase in English or not or whether it was a literal translation so I left it 😂😂 Cantonese is so beautifully and hilariously descriptive. My favourite one is “you can’t borrow a comb from a monk” meaning what you’re about to do is literally pointless hahahah.
Thank you so much for watching this and I really hope it hasn’t triggered off anything. I’m so sorry if it has! Sending you lots of love and I’m happy we’ve been able to chat more over December!! DMCs already?! 😂♥️♥️
@@dejashu omg that’s so cool! I’m gonna use that now in random conversations 😂😂😂
No it didn’t trigger bad emotions. More reflective which is always good. I know, I was actually thinking about it that vlogmas is coming to an end so quickly 🥺
i am pursuing my dream of being a MMA fighter but my dad keeps trying to force me to be an accountant or lawyer (which I never ever had an interest in, it doesn't even suit my personality nor interests). i think in a way it's a blessing because i really do have a feisty, fighter's spirit as a a result since i always feel like I have to stick up for myself when no one else supports me and have become a very independent person as a result.
one thing's for sure: when we're young is the best time to take risks. don't want to regret anything when we're older by not following your passions.
This video is so pure. You’re so blessed to have such an open and beautiful relationship with your Dad ❤️
It’s conversations like these that make me extra grateful we’ve worked on our relationship together to get to this point ♥️♥️♥️
Wow, it is a big deal for uncle Shu to be so frank in public.
多謝uncle, 好耐冇聽至親的對話。令我想起我爸爸... 昨天是他的生忌。
I loved this type of video. I love hearing the different languages
Same!! It’s so mesmerising 🥰
@@dejashu yessss
🎄QUESTION OF THE DAY 🎄 Who would you like to speak on the phone to right now? What would you say? (Answer as you feel comfortable)! Don’t forget to give the video a thumbs up to support the channel! 💛 This is the first time we've discussed some of these things in the video and I will always cherish these conversations we have - especially for his openness, his transparency, patience and the time has has allowed for these conversations to take place. These are videos I'll be looking back over the years and wanted to share it with you too in the hope that this will inspire further conversation with your loved ones!
u are really blessed to have such a father ... not everyone is as lucky as u ... may God bless your family
Thankful everyday to have him in my life and for this relationship we have together now! ♥️ I hope you and your loved ones are well too, Malinka! Sending love to you too!
4:34 ***parental approval*** that part made me tear up
I wish my dad is as open minded as yours😢😭
I completely understand where you are coming from. My dad is very backwards and lives like he's still from the village, I've never had a normal conversation with him. You're very lucky to have such a great dad Shu, he's so forward thinking and broad minded. ❤
listening to his canto and the things he said remind me of my dad! makes me all warm inside!!!!
Halfway through and already tearing up with you 😢 this was such a beautiful and honest conversation, and I'm blessed that I can have these conversations also with my Cantonese father. We still don't see eye to eye on everything and that generational (and language gap) is there as a fellow BBC, but I'm so thankful for everything my parents have given me and my siblings, I can see that your gratitude and thankfulness in this conversation. Thank you for sharing Shu! 😭😊
And PS, your vlogmas has been amazing! Trying to catch up now I'm off till January woo. May you continue to grow in your content and your channel as its well deserved. I remember watching your lookbooks / Harry potter vids way back when - amazing to see the growth you've had and will continue to have, you put in so much hard work and we're here to cheer you on! Blessings! ❤
Thank you for sharing, your relationship is very special. I adore the way your dad is working on himself to alter his approach to enable him to be allowed to be more involved in his kids lives. I still at 53 have a great relationship with my dad who’s 93 & i in turn have a very close relationship with my 21 year old son x
I loved the way he approached the conversation. Your dad is very wise it’s very important that parents speak like this to their children.
Lovely video something I haven’t seen before on UA-cam.
Well done
As a fellow first-gen, this one hit me so so hard. Listening to how your dad worked to build a better relationship with you felt so cathartic. Thank you so much for sharing these moments ❤️
We have so much to thank our parents for and the sacrifices they’ve made for us to have a better life! Thank you for watching this ♥️
To Shu's dad: 你好 啊Shu 爸爸！ 我覺得其實你其實都好開放，都肯俾佢試唔同既野， 我好認同， 做咩都好，用心做就得。P.S. 我啊爸都係我細個時候好嚴，不過而家望番轉頭，嚴，有佢原因。 如果唔係，我今日可能會不思上進
I love your dad!! Every time he is on your channel I thoroughly enjoy the conversations that you have with him. Tell him Happy Holidays from the United States!!! But I don't think any parent approve of them being a vlogger and doing that for a career at first. He loves you, and of course, it took some time to see that this is the right path for you.
If I can put up the phone to speak to anyone right now. It would be my mother's friend who passed away a while ago. He was like a father figure to my sisters and I and I miss him so much.
小時候聽過很多廣東話的歌，看過很多香港的電影電視連續劇，90年代是香港娛樂業最輝煌的時候，好。懷。念。
You have greatest dad in the world shu!!So understanding and respecting you as one individual. Cannot forget what your dad said”every parents wish for the best in child”Which is so warm and lovely message! Thanks for sharing 😉
awww this was really touching. i love how your dad has changed and is willing to admit his mistakes in the way he treated and communicated with you and your sisters in the past. that deserves a lot of respect. i'm happy for you and your family that he is open minded now. you guys seem to have a lovely relationship.
PS your dad's English is cute
One thing that’s very clear is how much your dad loves and supports you.
Sweetie, I thoroughly understand where you are coming from. I am so, so glad you have a good relationship with your father. For years my daughter wouldn't speak to her father. His health the last few months has been awful, in and out of the hospital. I was afraid he would die and my girl would regret not reconciling. They finally did talk about a month ago. My husband and I have been separated for over 4 years now. I am happy and happier knowing she has forgiven him. Holding grudges and bitterness inside only hurts yourself. So, they have agreed to disagree. My daughter and I are very close. Parents and children may not always agree; but as long as they can talk and express their love, then they can work through anything. So refreshing to see you and your dad talking. It is amazing that by gaining age and experience, you gain wisdom you may not have seen much less understood when you were younger. He is so correct: "A problem shared is a problem halved/solved." Amen to that. Love and hugs, Sweetie.
Your dad is just like any typical Asian parent. He cares a lot about you guys but probably didn't know how to express it. He however now has a very positive and encouraging outlook on things. Love how open he is about it in this video. Thank you papa Shu and Shu as well for sharing this with us all. Merry Xmas to you Shu
Thanks for sharing such an intimate part of your life with us. It's great you're having such deep conversations with your Dad! Love the way both of you listen to each other... way cool!
Thank you for being so open and transparent
This is an awesome video
I’m not crying...you are 😭 my hearts feels. I have seen my parents grown with the times over the years but they will always have their opinions hahaha but we know they always have their children in their thoughts and want the best for them. Sounding like my parents to the T 👌🏼. Lots of love 😘
Was trying to keep it together as I cry enough on this channel 😂😂 no matter our parents’ views or how tough, it will always come from a place of love! Lots of love to you too! 💛
Ah another episode with your dad did come about, I only just watched this one after I left a comment on an older one! Your dad speaks absolute fundamentals that I agree with, and can understand that he was reluctant to voice his worries at the begining of your vlogging career! All the best to you x
爸爸好開明！而且非常支持你，非常佩服💪🏻畢竟好多呢個年紀既爸爸都仲可能只想個女快啲搵人生仔嫁人就算；屋企人既支持其實好重要，大家都繼續加油Shu！
多謝你！爸爸真是好開明！已發送你的評論給爸爸睇! 你都加油！♥️♥️♥️
Aww! Your dad is so sweet. He's very open minded and has a youthful outlook. My dad doesn't really understand SNS and let's me just get on with it. 🐼🐼
Oh.. Shu!! Thanks for 0the video!! Such a genuine father-and-daughter conversation! It brought me tears. The love transcends all languages
Thank you for sharing such a personal conversation with us! It was beautiful to listen to and really made me think about how my relationship with my parents has grown and changed over the years. I can relate!
I really enjoyed this video and your Dad seems like a special guy who has learned from life and I'm so glad you have come to a place of mutual understanding, acceptance and respect. Tell him we appreciate his impartation of wisdom and sharing what he's learned. I know he's got to be so proud of you as you're such a shining star.
agreed with everything Papa Shu said!! My dad is the same way, but unfortunately his attitude hasn't changed.. Since he won't change, I'll try to adapt and modify to what I can accept. Great video and thank you for sharing!
So enjoyed this video. While I am not Chinese nor do I live in England or even Europe, I am a parent and so many of the comments your Dad said also reflect my way of thinking. You make him and me proud. Please stay safe!
Thank you so much! ♥️ Your children are lucky to have you! Hope you’re staying safe and well during these times too!
Hi... Shu 爸爸。你阿女好乖 又靚女又有才華 .阿女自己一個人創作經營呢一個UA-cam channel 係唔容易 佢都做得好好. 好多BBC都唔識講中文 佢識聽識講已經好叻女。你用心教導你的女兒係大家觀眾都睇得出㗎。you should be proud of her. 😊
Your pops is so sweet! It's nice hearing you speak in Cantonese. I'll never forget the time when I had just turned 21, and my mum told me she wanted to develop a friendship with me. I was studying abroad at that time, so I suppose she missed me more than usual as well. We used to have a tough relationship, always argued and I felt compelled to keep to myself a lot. I felt she was too controlling/protective (like most Chinese parents), so it meant a lot to me that she wanted to be friends and not just stick to the very 'traditional' mother daughter relationship. Now I can say she's my like a bestfriend! Wish my dad would change his parenting style though 😅
this made me shed a few tears T_T thank u for being vulnerable & honest
Yasss another canto vlog
You are so lucky to have such an open minded father. He gave up a lot for you and your sister. Unfortunately not many Asian parents think this way.
This is very interesting. The fact that your Dad tried to change his views for his kids speaks volumes about how much he loves you. It is very hard for Asian parents to change their viewpoint, especially for fathers. But when living in another country some of them (like to Dad) realise that in order to keep a good relationship with their kids, they need to be more flexible. Good on him for speaking so freely about this.
This conversation was beautiful and shows the connection and respect you and your dad (baba?) have together. I want to call my dad right now! It’s really rare for a dad to talk openly and be honest about his parenting in the past too. What a humble man. Out of interest, what jobs do you sisters do? Did they follow your dad’s recommendations or go follow their own dreams? Love as always, Louise x
Ur dad is very open-minded ❤️
He really is! Very proud of him and really cherish these conversations! ♥️
@@dejashu yes❤️
Thank u shu ,was a really good/informing vid to start my day to😇👏
Your dad is really open minded, bravo!It's not very easy for a man with his background I guess ,so it's wonderful that you have a sincere and loving relationship !
Although I'm curious about your mother. You never talk about her.Why?
As a man that is learning 36 languages (Cantonese being one of them), this is wonderful!!! A beautiful woman who speaks multiple languages and has a great relationship with her father, I love it. Thank you gorgeous Shu. Live long and prosper. 我愛中國文化!!!!
12:40 Papa Shu's Ted Talk
My father lived to the age of 98. I had many many years with him - but - would give anything to have another "talk" with him! We lost last November 26th and I have fought to find happiness every day since. Some friends have described my attitude towards Dad. I somewhat agree - but - further realize these folks are no longer "close friends".
Really enjoyed watching this :) Both you and your dad are awesome
Thank you so much, lovely!! So happy to hear you enjoyed it! 🥰♥️
@@dejashu Yeah tbh I almost teared up. I know my dad had his own worries when I moved to the UK from Canada to pursue my career so this all really resonated with me. Thanks for such a great interview
@@puccarts Even though they may not verbally express it so much, I’m sure they’re all softies inside really ♥️♥️
P.S I hope the move went smoothly and your career dreams are coming true so far! 🤗
@@dejashu Yeah I moved 9 years ago, actually. XD Career is going well, but I really miss my family (especially this year!) Hope your family is also keeping well
WOW! I really enjoyed that conversation. Thank you So much for the english sub titles👍. You & your Dad seem to be much closer now & I like his honesty🥰. If I could talk to someone on the phone it would have to be my Dad. He passed away 8 years ago & I would just love to hear him again.( I don't mean to sound weird).💛❤
It’s not weird. I’m the same too. My Dad passed away this year. I wish I could hear his laugh. Sending you lots of love ❤️❤️
@@Solatruth I am So Sorry to hear about your Dad. That is Very hard for you. But I try to remember his voice & his laugh too. Sending you Much Love too.❤❤
Not weird at all!!!! Thank you so much for sharing this with us, Levina and sending you so much love and a big squeeze! He sounds wonderful ♥️ thank you for joining us with this conversation!
I’m so sorry to hear this, Rashie ♥️ give yourself the biggest hug right now - it’s from me! Sending you so so much love right now! ♥️
@@dejashu Thank you Shu. That means such a lot to me.💛❤
Bruno thinks that Shu is so amazingly interesting . Is it my “American” ears that find you so intriguing when you speak Canto? Or am I impressed to see/hear an Asian with a British accent? Probably both.
(Ok, enough of the mushy stuff)! 🤣🤣🤣
hi shu, what a fantastic video. U will be surprised to know Indian dads are exactly like Chinese dads and very conventional regarding their daughters. After all, both are Asian and highly patriarchal. But things are changing now. Please give my respects to both of ur parents and beloved sis. Regards, Saurav Lahiry
I’m a BBC. Considerably older than you but what your dad speaks echoes many Chinese parents in the UK.
This look is gorgeous on you! The red lip suits you really well :)
Thank you very much!! Felt so festive with it! 🥰
❤ this x
Our Parents are always a bit of a puzzle. But they want the best for us. I don't have my Mum or Dad around any more. Have to appreciate them while they are around.
12:16 lmao very relatable xD
THIS IS INTENSE 🥺🥺
Tell me about it!!! It was over an hour long and I was like 😭😭😭😭😭 editing this!
Also makes me so happy that I can understand everything your dad is saying haha I consider myself a banana. My cantonese isn't the best
I'd love to speak to just any of my favorite UA-camrs to just get to know them more❤️
Ahh that’s so lovely! Who are your favourite ones you’d like to talk to? ☺️
@@dejashu obviously you😂❤️ and also Laurdiy, Remlife, Alisha Marie and her sister, and of course many others😂❤️❤️
This is so incredibly interesting to me. I am hoping mainstream media will normalise the stories of multicultural British/USA households. There is so much love and so many experiences happening all around us it is so weird to me that this isn't spoken about more!
I’m trying not to cry cos I have caster oil on my eyelashes 😂😂😂
This made me actually lol hahahaha - so relatable 😂 whenever I see an emotional video before bed, I’m like DON’T YOU DARE.
💜💜💜💜👍👍👍👍👍🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄. Bless ....
Cantonese pretty Swag, oh my childhood
I’d love to speak to Lana Del Rey on the phone and just have a general conversation with her. Your dad seems very open minded and honest 🤓.
Love LDR’s music and it’s be great to pick her brains on things! What would you want to ask her? ☺️ he’s so brilliant! Loved this conversation! 💛
@@dejashu I’d ask her about her music and favorite ice cream flavors!
亞洲父權主義社會既爸爸好多都好硬頸好要面，不過你爸爸好坦白好開明，可能係你人大左先會有咁既變化
有冇聽過陳奕迅《 Shall We Talk 》，首歌就係描述缺乏溝通既親子關係，可能你宜家聽會諗返起細個有共鳴
Sorry, can't watch,"listen" this one as I'm working while listening to your videos. I don't understand Cantonese at all 🤷♀️ so will just wait for a new video. But you and your dad are so lovely, like anyway. 👍
All good!! Thank you for liking anyway and hope your work is going well! 🤗
How’s your dads English ?