What We’re Learning About (Pervasive) Pathological Demand Avoidance

If you suspect someone in your life has PDA (Pathological/Persistent Demand Avoidance), this is a conversation you need to hear. Sandra McConnell is a trainer, speaker, and blogger on the subject of PDA, and also the mother of a PDA child. She shares important insights into the struggles involved, and her unique and thought-provoking advice about how to approach life with a PDA-er.
ABOUT THE GUEST - Sandra McConnell is a blogger, speaker, and trainer on Autistic Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). She conducts webinars, workshops and conferences all across the country to train and inform people about PDA.
She has two graduate certificates in Learning Differences & Neurodiversity specializing in Executive Functioning and Autism (Landmark College, 2021); a certification in PDA through the UK-based, OCN-accredited organization Neurodivergent Education Support and Training (NEST, 2020); a master's degree in Forensic Psychophysiology (Argosy University, 2006); and a bachelor's degree in Psychology and Criminology (UNM, 2000).
Sandra is the mother of three children, the oldest of whom is a 5th grader and both gifted and PDA. She lives with her family in Maryland, USA.

[@lanni8224]

Thank you so much , I’m struggling getting my 9 yr old daughter help

[@aprildeangelis999]

I'd be interested to know what Dr Gabor Mate thinks about the new PDA label. It doesn't sound useful to me, I don't see what the benefit would be for a person to have that label. Most of the kids I work with have these kinds of behaviors, but they are symptoms of underlying processing challenges or just autism biology. As a clinician the approach I would use would not change at all by adding another set of labels to the alphabet soup. As mentioned in the podcast, the label itself speaks to obedience (or the lack of), and when I personally hear the term, it feels very much like it's saying a "PDA'er" chooses to be "defiant". Often these types of behaviors are about providing safety and security and the brain actually being in a fight/flight/freeze mode which makes it difficult to access higher level cortical functions. I'd love to know what actual "PDA'er"s feel about it. Are there any adults at this point or is it all children who have this label?

[@gszhsdhxjd9809]

I'm 33 and I'm an autistic PDAer, why do you care about the labels that much? There are no high functioning, or low functioning autistic labels anyway, because autism is a broad spectrum that isn't measured on a linear scale from 1 to 10 in severity. The spectrum is more like a gradient color wheel. It's no different than all of the hundreds of fake pronouns that the LGBTQIAWTF woke people are now using to describe themselves. Why would you take the labels away like the term Aspergers too? Honestly, I don't care what labels are used, as long as it's meaningful to a broad audience to describe Autism Spectrum Condition or ASC rather than ASD. I also prefer label-first language rather than person-first language, such as an autistic person, rather than saying that a person merely has autism, or a person with autism. I'm not woke, but I can still appreciate the labels that the LGBTQIA+ community use despite the fact that they're nonsensical terms, because we have to respect others wishes to self-identify how they wish. If the consensus within the autistic community wants to use the labels Aspergers, ASC, and PDA why can't we just embrace it, because we've earned the right to use any labels that we want, because we're differently abled, and not necessarily disabled. Elon Musk is the richest person in the world, and he uses the term Aspergers to describe himself, so get over it April DeAngelis.

[@Ninsidhe]

@@Traybair Again it’s about how the *individual’s* experience of Autism is paramount, not what a bunch of others think about it- high needs is high needs with regards a culture that *measures* individuals in terms of output and ‘productivity’, rather than simply asking the question ‘what does this individual need in order to live their best life as decided by them?’. Disability only exists in a miasm in which there’s a ‘normal’ that is decided upon; when an individual’s personal lived experience and circumstances are seen as _their_ normal, ‘disability’ isn’t the marker. Any ‘disability’ I have as an Autistic individual is created by the external dictates and demands of a culture that thinks _it_ is ‘normal’ when in fact that’s an entirely artificial marker based on a whole bunch of other artificial constructs. Autistics would create a very different, much more egalitarian and accepting society than allistics have created… that’s my experience.