GRS: 6 weeks Post-Op - emotions, changes & reflecting on life
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- Опубліковано 9 вер 2024
- Happy Xmas everyone !! I'm doing really well now and pretty much back to normal - back at work part time... feeling some frustrations and this is making me think hard about life going forward and what's important. I guess there are a lot of questions that SRS raises, it's like physical and emotional full stop and a fundamental time to pause & reflect.
/ agirlforallseasons
The period for the next year or two everything will change more and yes you will see things much differently. Its really incredible and it is something we all feel post op. The world takes on a whole new array of feelings, senses and a deeper introspection of where we fit and want to belong. Its just amazing the self awareness that happen to me. I love this person I became after surgery. If someone told this would happen I never would have believed it.
10:45 - "Not there by choice -- but there by default" Oh boy. That SO resonates. My femme side has burst in out of seemingly nowhere into my pale life lived by default. I'm working my way through your story, and it gives me SO much hope. Seeing where you were here (which was already amazing) and knowing where you've taken it. So many tears flood whenever I watch -- of pain, of regret, of hope, of gratitude. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for documenting your journey -- and your wonderfully introspective and positive attitude.
You deserve to be happy , you're making me cry 😢
Everyone deserves to be "me", and you have certainly been very open and vulnerable throughout this process. Congratulations for being so outward and a role model for others, irrespective of gender. So many people's feelings and emotions are suppressed because they fear how speaking out will impact on other people. There is huge virtue in being selfish and putting your own needs first. Flourishing is a way better option than existing!
Good to hear from you again. Things seem to have came full circle for you. Ypur transition gives me hope. Thank you for sharing
Honey follow your dreams, you've started and completed the biggest part, that others just push away and live being hollow.
I'm (others as well) are so proud of you, please don't let others (family, ex-friends) put you in that box that their in...ever again!
Allow your passions to guide you...racing, graphics design, snowboarding, running, etc
You now see things from a different perspective, its not that you've changed, it's like now you're seeing through eyes without the rose colored glasses on.
A woman's view is so beautiful, so carry on and enjoy, love ya, be safe!
you have amazing talent. your family support you. And makes it easier. I'm happy for you girl.
thank you so much for posting this, I really relate with a lot of what you're saying. i'm not post op yet, but the further I get through transition the more I feel a disconnect with my past & feel further away from friends i haven't seen since transition. You're a beautiful soul & your videos have helped me a lot xo
You deserve the best! All of us, who have been through this life. None has the right to be disrespectful to you, no matter if he is family or not. You need to find the people who really appreciate you for who you are and stick by them. And lets be honest, you are truly beautiful, you had your SRS, you sound like such a smart person, not an airhead, you work out, you have a work and a nice house. Why would anyone be weird about you? You are awesome and I wish you the best! Merry Christmas
Love that you have come so far in your journey. You're very lovely and a inspiration to me on my journey as well. You'll get through this and things will change or a new door will open.
I would never ignore you. Your amazing❤ im 38 yrs old and only just coming to terms with my feelings
Hi C, Sorry the family thing has turned sour. I had a similar experience to yours. Initially an understanding and accepting family, then a few months into transition a complete turnaround.
I was fortunate that I didn't work with family and I had actually quit my job to transition. I went back into the job market when I was living full time, but I had to start at the bottom. It took a few years to get back to my pre-transition earnings.
I ended up not seeing my family again for a long time (25 years), but in truth, my life was happier and simpler without the negative family drama.
I don't envy the choices you have to make now. I hope things work out well for you though. Love, -alice
"negative family drama" is a good description of it. I feel they are more concerned about their own self-image and are embarrassed that I am a family member. They don't want to deal with negativity from others about me. If they truly loved and valued you, they would not avoid you, period.
Thanks Alice, I just feel like they don't understand me anymore, or really even try to... I know work is work but when you are with your siblings it can be frustrating :/ I've got a few things I'm going to push this year, one being my racing and really hoping that goes well. Whether I can turn it into a career somehow I'm nit sure, no one knows I'm trans and there is a possibility it will come out if things do take off - it could be a good thing but I don't really want to be know as the 'transsexual racing driver', I just want to be judged on my accomplishments on the track. Either way it will be an interesting & exciting year and I'm hopeful that possibilities & opportunities will manifest :D Take care in all that snow xx
I am so proud of you. You look so beautiful. I want to come out and start my transition but I am married and 59 no kids. I don't want to rip my wife's heart out. I have done that enough. And feel that I would have to quit my job. And move out of town. Have no where to go. And would have no job. So I envy you and hope your family issues turn around. I am sure they will. They probably love you as much as you love them.
Glad to hear you're doing well, even if work/family stuff has been crap. I hope it gets easier for you! Always love your videos, thank you for posting!
Happy Christmas to you girl. You're a big girl now, you have shown your family you can make decisions and it sounds like your brothers are struggling with that. Maybe it's time to continue to step out in other directions as well. I don't mean to isolate your family but show them that you are ready to "fly" on your own. Along with peace, have confidence in yourself.
Peace,
XOXOXO
Dawn
First, congratulations on going through this move from old you, to new you. Enormous changes!
What you have done, is a major shock for your family.
They are having difficulty suddenly switching to the new you.
Maybe, over time, some--or all of them, might become more adjusted.
Sadly, I suspect there's a chance not all of them will.
For their own cosy minds, they like things like they always were.
Some of my family know I dress, but I haven't told all of them, might never do...very best wishes, sincerely, Sonia
You're VERY authentic in posture and self-expression, Girl for all Seasons! Trust me babe, you really don;t need to go along the cosmetic path, you really don't. xxx
Awesome to see you back - and you are looking great girl!
I hope things will work out with the family - I spent my life being what everyone expected me to be - and I get the feeling that you did too? Now you're breaking out and being truly you- and finding out what that means - and maybe that means not being satisfied to go back to how things were, and how you were treated?
I think you're right though - you need to start by asking yourself what it is you want to do, and how you would like them to treat you - what would that all look like? I don't have answers - but you do - you just have to find them. Merry Christmas Christina
Love Jen
I'm not saying, that, I know exactly, how you feel, but, I can say, as a trans woman (pre-op), that most of what you said, in your video, has helped me, and is very relatable ! Thank you, Charlie !
Message begins, hesitantly, reflecting details, the past, the pain, detached, shocked, recoiled, run away, why me -- wait this isn't me, first realization, to develop as a true person, denial of the past, second realization, to be me, to flourish, to begin anew, disassociate the past, fears renewed, where is the truth -- it's staring at me, resolution, acceptance, alone, fear of loosing, fear of failure, rebounding, regaining strength, guilt free, this message, its meaning, uncompromising, believing, anticipative, forging ahead, seeking confidence, time yields, time gives, final realization, virtuous, persuasive, humbled, cleanest, recovered, message complete. The beginning.
Wow your looking Great ,
6weeks flew past, aye !!!
Thankyou for your time to share your life,
Wishing you a Very Happy First Christmas as a true Women, you deserve it Girl, have and enjoy the festive season and all the very best for the New Year
Thankyou
❤️💚💖BRIE 💙💛💜
You’re so pretty, I would love to give you a big hug 💕
I think you are more aware of your emotions ? Keep talking and you are ok and you are fine lady ! Have a lovely moment and enjoy every moment ❤️
So glad that you're going well. I've never commented before, but I really enjoy your videos. You seriously need to get out of that work environment. They aren't respecting you and you deserve to be respected. I read in the comment below that you're working on an escape plan - that's great! You need to take care of yourself things are so fragile after SRS. Sending you love!!
Merry Christmas! Glad to see you're doing well!
There were several comments if only to mention afew that i can really identify with ...seeing these postings is really helping me understand more of who i a m through my own confusion ultimately i feel to be truly happy myself i must (which ive started to address) change my external male persona to balance with my inner emotional state...
Proud of you! Hugs!! ❤️🌹
Hi there,just want to say that you look very beautiful (from the outside and inside). What you told about your family situation touched me. It's a shame that your brothers can't see it. Probably your change isn't easy for them, but they should try to respect and care more about you. I think you are great, also they way you think or reflect about the situation. Well your family matter, reminds me of my brother. He does sometimes do not threat me respectfull. That hurted me often (probably more times in the future), but recently I start to realize, that his behavior is, hmmm, well his weakness. He can't deal with my situation and it's his lack of skills, to do it the good way. That you don't want to be threaten by this is a healthy thought. Although I hope for you, that your brothers can change. Would be nice. The best to you. (I hope not to many writting mistakes, english is not my native language;)).
you have amazing talent. your family support you. And makes it easier.
Happy Xmas everybody, thank you so soooo much for all your comments, support and thoughts you've shared with me throughout the year - 2014 has been one of the most unforgettable and amazing experiences of my adult life :) I hope 2015 can build on that, wishing you all a happy new year and good times ahead! Xxx
Looks like my time was well the wait... Welcome back... You're well, I hope? You took some time off.. that's good. Happy holidays... Please don't forget us (me). Farewell for now.
I don't think I've updated my journey, I feel like you're my friend for sharing your life. I am almost 6 months HRT. My latest hair transplant is coming in nicely. And you really give me hope by how you have stayed course and in a year and a half hope to be living full time. I'm 55 and it is taking time so your posts are awesome for me. muah!
chloe renee Thank you Chloe, I'm excited for you and wish you the best of luck with your transition in 2015! :D xx
Merry Xmas to you too! everyday we create new life moments. Thank you for sharing!
Hi
Happy Christmas!
Just found your channel on UA-cam and here on google+ :)
So pleased to hear that your recovery is going so well and how speedy things seem to be. I have srs yet to come, currently awaiting nhs funding before being referred to the London GID clinic..
So cool to hear that you are doing the formula Renault racing in the coming year, I hope it goes well for you x.
Have you managed to test yet with the opp and all?
Love and best wishes
Caitlin xo
Aww so sorry you are going through that with your family . My family sucks too for other reasons . Chin up dear . ❤️
Hello Christine,Happy Christmas to you.It sounds as life is progressing well.I can work myself up and get teary,I find it passes after an hr or so.A good book to look at from a singular prospective,try The Fountainhead,by Ayn Rand.Back to family,mine also are finding hard to accept that I'm trans,and why after all these years it's come up.It really is causing a wedge,it certainly makes you insular in your thinking.I am so jealous of your progress,your screaming along.I'm really proud of your inner fortitude.
All the best for the New Year in yourself and with your racing.Emily.OZ
Glad to see you are doing well and you are looking forward to a new racing season.
Sorry to hear about the cold shoulder from your siblings, have you thought they maybe upset because their brother as they knew you is gone forever? Or maybe they have accepted you as their sister and its no big deal to them? Either way the only way to find out is confront them with your concerns and then you will know where you stand. There is not point in losing sleep and worrying about it, you will only make yourself sick.
you are amazing and doing just fine.
Totally scrummy. You are amazing
re your family members: don't let their discomfort knock you off balance or make you feel weird. when you see them, make it obvious by your example that you are happy with where you are and have done the right thing for you, however they may feel about it.. they'll come around. I suppose I'm really saying, act like there's nothing in the way of a decent relationship, and it will become true. Act strange, distant, let them throw you out of whack, and that will only make everything harder. They have to look at you and see that they are wrong.
You are so completely beautiful. You brighten up my every day
You are so beautifully feminine, I can actually feel the genuine bubbly softness... what so many women do not hold or value these days.. I'm talking about , your thoughtful openness ,the light that shines from you amazes me..
You You observe and absorb it flows through you so beautifully... shining through the honesty in your voice, the light in your eyes
Your soul kindly penetrates mine radiating inward & outward as one ♡
Ok.... you all think I'm wacky.. just a little.
I realize Charlie probably has off days and disgustingly bugler habits that we are oblivious to...
Wink wink !
I really like your Videos Charlie and the personality you present to your audience. Holsum, unassuming...
Plus your way over board hott !
I love you & It make me happy when I hear you speak of your journey
Peace & live to all
As one movement ♡ correction
Quel charme !!! 😊
Sounds like you need some mediation done through HR. This may shake up a few of those ignorant ideas of family members, and simultaneously help improve vital staff relations. If this situation is not improved it will, and probably already has, impact on company productivity and too profit margins. If this issue is not take seriously be the applicable company members, then they should be asking them selves why they are there... take care Princess xx
you remind me so much of the mom from parent trap! xx
I hope you find the strength to be around more affirming people! It's been a few months since you posted this, maybe there's improvement?
Charlie: It's now two years since you gender confirmation surgery on 29 October 2014 so I wish you a Happy Birthday since that is the day you were born in your correct body.
Aw, Christina, sweetheart, it pains me to see you hurting from your family struggles. You do deserve better than that. Maybe its time to withdraw from the family business (I assume it is that) and start anew somewhere else. Taking that BS from anyone would be tough but intolerable from family that should love and support you. Anyway, you look beautiful and very feminine. I still am blown away about the guy that thought you looked like an effeminate dude. You look and present as completely feminine. You will make a beautiful bride someday if that is something you aspire to be.
Maybe getting away from your brothers for an extended period of time will show them how important you are to them and will cause their hearts to soften and open. I truly hope the best for you and can't wait to see a video where life is looking completely positive and happiness is reflected in your beautiful eyes instead of pain and sorrow.
BTW what does the wrist tattoo say? Good vibes and love to you!
😊
Just want to say to you your a very good-looking woman.I enjoy your videos
your an amazing girl
Hello :-) A wee note to say hi - and to thank you for your video. Your honest concerns ring very true. I am still transitioning and my family do not know my true gender although the friends that I trust do - and the man that I live with lol. I love him to bits and he treats me 100% as a woman. Family aside, it always amazes me how much I am treated as being a 'lower order' in my true gender by some friends and the general public - when I compare it to how I was treated as a 'bloke'. It can be hurtful however most of the 'offenders' are male and I suspect that a lot of it is male-patter-chauvinism. Even my boyfriend is guilty at times. Hey Ho - it strengthens my feminine empathy and my resolve to work with my sisters, TG or not, to change attitudes. Anyhoo, well done you, hugs, Pam, x
Being post surgery is just such an uplifting feeling isn't it? We are there, we got it done, all those transition problems lie behind us... and, yet, why still feel some sense of unease about our lifes. Are we restless? What else do we need? Can't we ever be completely happy? and what else do we need?... Why does the world around us think that when our transition world great we should be completely happy? Don't they see we are more than our being trans and transitioning?
PRiNDSess Ava Yes its amazing :) I think I was unprepared for the all the emotional effects if I'm honest, it's such a huge life event that I honestly don't think anyone can be fully prepared for all the feelings that come afterwards...I am happy, but I now feel like I need to add more meaning to my life. It's as though you go through this whole life changing process and come out the other side, suddenly you feel like 'what next? Where? What am I meant to be doing now?" I now want to go on a bit of a journey of self rediscovery - my own body, my sexuality, my career, my social life, everything. It's kind of daunting, but sooo exciting too - you just have to look for all the possibilities in life :)
a Girl for all seasons Yes! So yes to that. Nothing could have prepared us for where we would end up in our journey. I mean, sure, we knew we could only exist as women, but all the changes it involved were way over our head. And speaking of emotional effects: I, too, was unprepared for the extend of those changes. I just have become so different from my former persona. The way I view the world and interact with it has shifted dramatically. It still is brings surprises every now and then. Inside of me is a whole new world, a "No-mans-land" if that pun is appropriate? ^^
And now that we're done? What's next? What will life hold for us? As you, I feel that I want to add more meaning to my life. Particularly, that you mention career and social life changes, intrigues me. I feel I will have to do the same. It started a year ago, that I felt the need for such changes...
And, yes, then there is discovering our new body and sexuality, which doesn't feel so bad, wouldn't you agree? ;)
(and, almost forgot, Happy New Year!!
Y'all still men . 😆
Routing for you, things usually work out
In all of your inquiry, research, what have you found for reasoning for not removing the male prostate during GRS/SRS ? ... And what function, if any (?), does it serve for a Transgender Woman to retain that part of male anatomy ? Thank you ! - Farley A.
give it time
it will be ok takes time..to reconnect ...be patient and build the support system and be safe,,happ new yera mami..take time off if you can and travel ..date for husband
Dear C, I'm obliged to write in support of you. Your last videos: as a guy, that week before SRS, and this one, all left me in fetal position and losing my marbles. I want you to know I feel your hurt as much as sitting at this computer half way around the world will let me. You seem like a genuine, loving and funny girl so nothing I write isn't what you already do. I think transition is hard and lifelong, 'til we all turn back into the cosmic dust we were made from. Some people join you all the way, some part way and others will never transition with you. If they are important to you, then allow them their space and love them for who they are. And if you are important to them, they will reciprocate. We GOT TO HAVE FAITH IN LOVE. In the end, what else really matter anyway, right? Have some Bach and Mozart for temporary relief at night and get out as much as you can to be with friends. As a last resort, pepper their dinner tomorrow with your leftover T-blockers to help them calm the fuck down and get their shits together. Please stay loving, healthy, strong and focused. your videos are comforting and reassuring to watch. I'm counting on them to help me figure out stuff. Thank you so much, sincerely yours, nonperson.
You look amazing :)
Well I sort of understand this girl pain, but at the same time she needs to put herself in the shoes of her parents and brother, if any of my son's would come to me with this It would be very hard on me and his mother...the key here is empathy
I understand your point, but the reality of transition is that you have to be a little bit selfish to fully take control of your own life and the changes you are making. Both my parents passed away a long time ago, so I have only two elder brothers and a sister who I love very much. The difficulty (in my opinion) is that inevitably you grow and develop as a person throughout transition - for me this has been a period of 3yrs. If other people cannot move forward with you and adapt to the person you are becoming, then rightly or wrongly it becomes hard to maintain the connection that you once shared. IT is not an easy situation for either party I agree, but my main concern in life right now is me and my happiness - not the lives of others, as they will take care of their own happiness and responsibilities.
a Girl for all seasons
Well said... so wise :)
@@GoCharlie Just reading through these past comments and I think what you said holds true for sure: “…the reality of transition is that you have to be a little selfish to fully take control of your own life and changes you are making.”
Is That selfish no I am a husband, a father and years into my marriage figured out I was Transgender / transsexuals it's so important not to let your struggles become your identity
Family business sucks, I know where you are coming from, being the unappreciated one on the firm, because you've got your own interests away from work, where they are all work work work! the best thing I ever did was jump ship and go and do my own thing. I found we had a better relationship when I didn't have to work for them. you are a beautiful young woman with the world at your feet, there should be plenty of work out there for you, just go and find it. but find it first, before you jump!!LOL security can't be underestimated!
Thank you for the wise words of advice, it's nice to know someone else has had the same experience and you totally get what it feels like in my shoes :) I have so many doors opening right now, its a really exciting time that I almost feel as if I'm working two jobs - the one I get paid for and then all the stuff I'm developing in my own time. I can't leave until I'm secure but I know the day will come ! Thank you :D x
And thank you for sharing your incredible journey and transformation.
cool video
your the best, Merry Christmas to you, i would love to chat more with you
Does your family members ever watch your posts ?
Lol, I hope not! Very few people who know me personally have ever seen my channel, like friends & family know I have one but they don't know what its called as its not for them. So I figure I can speak freely which is the whole idea :D
Thank you for your reply . Your post is interesting,thought provoking and helpful as I have yet to get my op . It is a major thing that has taken me several years to get to just visiting the gender clinic in London.Your talk gives me an idea how it may affect me and what to expect to some degree . Every Pearson gives little snippets on insight . Wishing all the very best in your new beginnings .:-)
Charlie, please send me a message, would love to me meet you or speak with you. You helped me in my own transition. XX Sam
Go to a store and buy you a sound machine like ocean waves stuff like that to relax you while you’re sleeping to keep your mind off or put your TV on the music channel on real low That should help you with your sleep you’re still gorgeous do you have a boyfriend yet I would definitely move for you
You can come home with me.
I think you're lying about the feeling completely normal part because most of them say that they be in pain for long durations of time just sayin . 💁
No I wouldn't lie about it, what would be the point...?
pretty woman
U are beautiful
Darn, you're cute!
lady u r so beautiful
I'd like to 👀 you like modeling for us I think you are very special I only mean you well & merry Christmas to you and those that matter
Xoxo the Ghost
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very annoying
You’re saying the word umm... umm... umm! million times! Just so annoying!