Eric Goodwin- Dont Draww Ma Famlee Sillee! (Lyric Video)

Face Jams: Live at the Caricature Stand
Track #6: Dont Draww Ma Famlee Sillee!
What better way to show the dumbness and ignorance of some customers than to do a song from their point of view? A bluegrass/hillbilly song seemed perfect to showcase the thinkings (or lack thereof) of some dumb fair-goers. Of course, as with every song on this album, this is an exaggeration of how people can be, but every exaggeration comes from an element of truth. Primus and The Devil Makes Three were some definite influences, as were Emily and Celestia's fair comics, in addition to my own fair experiences 😊
Lyrics:
VERSE 1:
We went to the fair,
The local county fair,
Like my lovely family loves to do every year.
Brought the Ma and Pa
And 3 daughters and a son
And my baby mama named Mary Claire.
We've petted the goats (baa)
And we've taunted the cows (moo)
Every time they come to town.
Bought that fried Koolaid on a stick. (yummy!)
We've stuffed our greedy mouths.
Yessirreebob, we're from the south! (yes sir!)
We do our savior Jesus proud.
Here comes my weekly heart attack!
Gettin' sick of this kettle corn,
We're lookin' for somethin' new.
These fudge-covered deep-fried chicken fries are makin' me wanna spew! (bluugh)
We've rid the rides since we were 5;
They all just feel the same.
We've been to every country concert
And beated all the games.
Well as we was walkin' along we came to a cartoon stand. (wow!)
I said, "Honey Ham, Baby Sugar, wouldnt it be grand (yes ma’am)
To get y'all of us drew?"
"Which artist is better here, him or you?" (or you?)
This photo will surely show the world without doubt that I'm the man!
CHORUS:
O pleez dont draww ma famlee sillee!
Yes wee look lik sum tuff hil Billees
With arr won rottet tooth,
Butt dond sho us tha trooth
Cuz u cood end up hurten are feelins.
O pleas dawn hert.... owr feellens.
VERSE 2:
We all sat down, all 8 of us,
On that one small plastic chair.
"Don't draw all my sweat and gravy stains,
And why do u gotta stare??
My fat baby is beauty-full,
So don’t make her quite so fat.
Make sure you draw my shotgun,
And don't leave out my cowboy hat!
"My girls is pretty and my son are strong
Just in case you couldn’t tell, (yessir)
So when you draw my family
You better draw us well. (yessir)
I bet that we're the best customers that y'all have ever seed. (yessir)
Don’t mind my lil princesses-
They got nervous and they peed! (bloop bloop bloop)
"Y'all sure are talented-
You got Gawd's gift in your hand.
I sure wish I could draw a stick,
But it wasn’t in Gawd's plan.
Yer so lucky; you don't hafta work.
Art just ain’t in my blood.
I couldn't draw a straight line with a straight stick stuck in the mud. (heehaw)
"Make sure you sign the picture
Just in case one day you get famous. (yessir)
If that’s the case, we'll sell it on ebay.
Hell, can you really blame us? (no sir)
Alrite now, artist, hurry up!
I hope yer finally finished! (yessir)
Although yer sketchin' at Gawd's speed,
My patience has diminished!
CHORUS
yeehaw!
VERSE3:
"Ready to see?" the artist said,
And his face was full of glee.
"Yer darn tootin," my baby said.
"You better've drewed me purdy."
The artist ripped the paper off
And all was soon revealed.
My lil piglets gasped in shock, (gasp)
But then they laughed and squealed! (squee squee squee)
"Why I oughta kill ya sir
For making us look so dumb! (d-uh)
I oughta take all of yer markers
And stick 'em up yer bum! (pop)
If it’s a fight you want then it’s a fight you'll get!
You really got my goat! (baa)
You think yer oh so clever
With that picture you done wrote!
"How you gonn mess me up like that?
That ain’t me !
You coulda drawd me all nice-like and with more than one teef!
My daughters Mary Ann, Mary Jane and Anne Jane Claire
Are much cuter, and Bobby Walter
Don't have such ugly hick hair!
"What about me?" my baby said.
"I look the worst of all. (you do!)
He gave me 40 hundred chins
And practerly made me bald!" (he did!)
"You made me ma and pa look bad-
They look like they are dead! (they do!)
Where’s my shotgun? You gonn’ get
A bullet in the head!"