@user Thank you 4 stating a "FACT" I feel exactly the same way, that's the reason I can't agree to it, becuz l'm not even minuetly understanding it. 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
This also makes me think that’s why when men do not offer help it feels hurtful but now I’m thinking “oh my husband is not built to jump in and help” 😮 and he says to me “if you need help ask me” 😅
One thing that helped me and my husband in our relationship and marriage was understanding that we’re different. Not just individually but by gender. Our roles, interest, communication styles, perception etc can differ at times but with us knowing this we come to each other most of the time with respect, understanding, and humbleness. Remembering that we’re different gives me peace in his leadership and it gives him peace in my patience and understanding for him. When we cross the line and try to make the other act/think like the opposite gender emotionally , physically, and mentally we both remember that our needs and wants differ from each other, and we get on the same page on how to provide support for one another however we need it so our marriage can continue on glorifying our Lord.
Testimony time: when my husband and I met he wasn’t necessarily the breadwinner in the family. It was difficult for him to keep a job/make money. I resented him for staying home and me being the provider. However I operated constantly in provider mode and step on his toes when it was his turn to lead. I wanted him to lead in all ways esp financially but I had to let go. I stayed home after my second baby and he was determined to figure it out. Although it was not easy for either of us and at times scary. He became a natural at problem solving and enjoys leading. It’s ironic how we went from being a progressive couple to now traditional. I give praise to God for taking us through and teaching us both! I love you videos Bindi, every time you post it’s a confirmation!
Wow, that beginning point about wives ”suggesting” was spot on! I have had the habit of saying “you’ll want to…” and since getting on top of that I have seen my husband be more comfortable, welcomed and confident around me.
This came at such a needed time. I struggle with trying to change my husband from a loving place ( so I thought) but this has opened my eyes to why he responds the way he does when I try to help him. Thank you so much Bindi please continue creating this much needed content.
This helped me!!!! This was your first video I personally said in my head “idk about this one Bendi” lol but once I put my EGO aside . I decided to apply it the this week. My husband is doing a home improvement in the kitchen and I literally stayed out the way. I can’t tell you how peaceful I feel that I didn’t need to get involved. I’m sure he is too! Lol thank you! 😂🙌🏾
Love your videos Bindi...you are so mature in Christ. I'm single but still cook and take of my little home. It can get overwhelming at times; however, I just break it into small chunks at a time. 😊
Thank you for this content, I just discovered it and it is exactly what I have been looking for. My mom and aunt's are not married which makes it difficult to ask for guidance in marriage related topics as they tend to be negative. I want to get married a lot, this will prepare me well for my marriage. Especially breaking the generational curse. God bless you, keep them coming ❤
This is such a helpful video. I have been married for almost 7 years and finally figuring out that when my husband wants my help or opinion, he is more than able to directly solicit it from me.
I think I read through some of this book when I was in my teens and then completely forgot about it. But now I'm reading Facinating Womanhood vintage edition and it covers the same philosophy. It has helped me focus on changing myself rather than my husband and my marriage has improved greatly. I highly recommend reading it. 🙏🏼
As much as I like content like this, I fail to find similar content made by men for men on how to handle your wife and improve relationships with her. It seem men aren’t interested in building healthy relationships with women. Probably because us, women, do all the job
Ruslan KD talks primarily to men. He doesn’t just give relationship advice (he’s a cultural commentator) but when he talks about improvement he addresses and rebukes men 90% of the time (because he is a man). Most women will follow females giving advice to us, not necessarily men. It’s not that they don’t exist, we just aren’t their target audience.
RC Blakes does alot of content on how a man can better love his wife. Tony Gaskins and Pastor Robert Evans as well. They are all believers on youtube. John Grey's writings are secular but he nails it when discussing womens' needs. This is the author Bindi is referring to.
Thank you so much for this video, Joyce. I especially resonated with your point about not asserting our help but rather waiting to be asked for it. Although our unsolicited opinions or suggestions may come from a good place, our husbands might view it as back-leading. I found that allowing our men to lead encourages them and deepens our trust in them. Another book you might enjoy is The Them in Him by Dr. Gina Murray; there are some great gems of wisdom in that book.
Whyyy is this so true and so hard!!??!??? Lol! It so hard to hold my tongue sometimes but when I don't it does just as you said, it's not helpful and deflates my husband.
From a marriage book, I just learned that women need women to balance/nurture then so all that need that is in us doesn't fall on our husbands. This goes hand in hand with that. Helps the community work together in the a different way than the family working together. Interesting. Thank you
Thank you for this video. I always said men & women see the world through different color lenses. I appreciate the way you explained the book and its content because it made perfect sense. You have a gift with words. I truly appreciate your channel. I'm going to add the book to my Amazon library. Be Blessed
Thank you, this was so inspiring. I needed to be reminded and corrected of this message. I'm not married but this is needed in all relationships! God bless you and your family dear
This is something that has recently come up in my marriage. My husbands friend confided a problem to him and i asked him well what was the advice or comfort you gave him. He said nothing i let him tall and wished him the best. I was so shocked and felt that was such a cold approach but your explanations is spot on with mens communication.
Excellent breakdown. Thank you for this teaching. Those of us (even at older ages) who desire to learn, eliminating the modern day woman programming we've endured are grateful for this kind of teaching. ❤🙏🏾
Ugh! 🙄 I wanted to say "men are so sensitive!" when I was watching this video, but tbh, we're all sensitive in our own ways and stronger than our partners in others. I come to a man for comfort when I have a problem and get frustrated when solutions are offered too soon. So much so, that I can no longer hear him and am not even receiving the solution 😂 Am I not fragile for this? To a man, this is an insane concept, but my fellow women understand. We need to adjust our approach to best reach our audience. This is very true
This was good!!! It definitely made me understand my husband so much better. I have to admit that even I can get bothered by unsolicited advice too. So him constantly getting it from me just be really bothersome. Again, your videos keep me in check as a wife. I need to check out that book.
I loved this book and recommend it often. My father actually suggested it to me, and Im forever thankful because of it. I gave me a better understanding of my thought patterns as well.
Great Risings, I truly appreciate you sharing this book and biblical concept. Men and woman and indeed different and The Most High made it that way. I will keep this in mind to be a better wife to my husband. This made so much since. 💐
I read that book awhile ago and I thought it made sense at the time. Then I found out that the author has been divorced (a few times?). I can’t remember if he gave actual examples of what he thought would help a relationship. I can really relate to looking at a situation, anticipating a problem and trying to solve it before it becomes an issue and I see how that adversely affects our relationship.
This was very insightful. I am truly enjoyed this video. It make sense why men don’t just offer help. Their perception is truly different from ours. I have a new understanding.
Men brainstorm and come up with solutions together. It's not really about weakness. It's about concentration and doing reps mentally to figure out a problem before giving up. We ultimately understand that each challenge is a learning opportunity which leaves us more independent when we figure it out and in the future we are better prepared.
Was our hair thicker because of the prenatal vitamins? Also I have always had thinner hair because of low iron. Check your iron periodically. Even mildly low iron can cause hair thinning.
Omg I’m a man 🫣 I’m glad I’m here. I genuinely thought I was helping. Thank you, I’m becoming woman. God told me look up videos I’m single but I desire to be a pleasant wife & not a headache. I appreciate the truths u share.
This is good. I'm so from Venus that it's extremely hard for me to fathom that someone doesn't want help. I'm a helpmeet lol I love to help. But I understand and am learning. 😊
This! Was so helpful for me. As a cerebral led woman, it's basically my personality to figure out the why's, and how-to's and the last thing I'd want to do is project my get er done mindset onto my man so thank yoi so much Bindi
Loved every but if this! You’ve made me want to go read this book!!!! ❤❤❤ Now, I do think the part where women struggle and have the urge to step in, is when you can see the man going the wrong way, naturally, you want to correct not even if you do hold back, at some point, you’ll want to correct. He is right that unsolicited help can be truly counter productive. Interested on his take on the woman’s perspective and handling of things going wrong. Thanks for sharing❤❤❤
Read this book about 13 years ago, really enjoyed it, I need to read again! I read about four or five of his other books as well. I do believe he used to be a pastor as well. ❤
I'm the same way. You want to ask the Lord to give you help in this. Your intentions are good but it can push a man away. Ecclesiastes 4 says "There's a time to speak & a time to be silent".
Not quite finished, but this kind of makes me feel hopeless in my marriage because I feel wired to help and I can't. What's the point of being married if I can't help or help is being perceived as an attack???
I remember when that book came out, I feel like I overheard about it when my mom was watching like, Oprah or something lol I LOVE watching you do home tasks while you speak. Microlocs looks so cool. Love them so much. If I had curly hair I think I'd definitely do that style! So pretty. I'm very guilty and need to improve in "helping" I find it extremely difficult.
I’m 18 and genuinely curious. For me, it feels as though there’s a disconnect between men and women when the book puts it that way. It makes it seem as though men are incapable of the level of understanding and feeling that women are, and we talk about how we don’t know how to love men the way they need to be loved, but the same can be said for how men love women. I really just l want to be understood. and if we’re from different “planets”, how can women be happy? It sounds as though men just need be made to feel like a man. But to me that comes at the expense of my natural inclinations to help like you said. So why must I be the one to change that about myself when he can easily become less fragile in what makes him feel like a man? Is it that his needs are more important? I’m just confused on that point
I believe there should be compromise and a genuine attempt to understand and love in a way that the other would recieve. This almost seems like it is encouraging to feed in to a spirit of pride. None of us in this life, male or female can make it through alone. Even as a woman myself I feel suffocated by other women's help and advice. Let me ask, don't give it unsolicited but I would articulate that respectfully. Women could learn to mind their own more and Men could learn to set aside their identity in what they achieve and understand it's okay to not know all of the answers.
@Humble Hobbit I totally understand this, I just haven’t really seen much content like this on the other way around. Like how to love your female partner or on making your female partner feel accepted. It isn’t really about pride. It’s just considering what is best for each other. I definitely see how loving a man the way he needs to be loved instead of the way you want to be loved is important. I just really don’t see much on the other way around.
@@aysiahm.a3338 I hear you, and when I said a spirit of pride I wasn't referring to your comment but the video, I apologize and should have written my comment more clearly. I do agree that we shouldn't criticize our husbands or routinely correct him(even if that wasn't the intent) as our words have the power to build him up or tear him down. If you are not feeling heard or considered in your relationship I would gently voice that to your partner because a loving husband would not desire for his actions to be hurtful to his wife. The goal is to be united. Your intent and heart comes from a well meaning place and yes, men have just as much to mature and grow in, we all do but we can only control ourselves. Prayfully we have husbands who want to please and honor the Lord as much as we do.
@@fruitsarelife7073 No, we should strive to communicate in a way that will be effectively received by the men in our life and hopefully we will be married to a man seeking to please the Lord above all else.
I think women and man react the same way to unsolicited advice. Both should always listen and wait for the ok "what do you think about this". Works best with every social interaction regardless. I really love your channel because you really give honest and good advice to women and men. PS: you have no idea how good it feels for a man to be the "steady Rock" like Petrus for a family. It makes us better fathers and housbands that go way beyond their limits for the family
I admire your time management skills. Can you give some tips or go into detail in a video because time management is still essential for managing a household and that’s an area where I’m lacking.
Would you be able to talk more about dressing modest and feminine, for the plus size women as well. I would love to wear more dresses and skirts but I wonder how a dress and skirt would work in more casual situations (around the house, grocery shopping, ball games, concerts, doing a bake sale even). Are you pairing the outfits with heels, flats, sandals, a simple sneaker? How do I get started with the wardrobe switch? 🙏🏽
Although I agree with you that is how men are today, I don’t believe that is how God creates them to be. Biblically I struggled to find men that was used greatly in the bible that were like the men you were describing in the sense of not offering opinion until asked and being so fragile in receiving help. The men used greatly by God in the bible were all bold, strong men that shared their opinion la whether or not a person asked. If they felt a rebuke was needed they would give it, advice they would give it. Men in the bible weren’t so fragile and lost in their ego that they could not receive or give help assistance without being asked. Being driven by ego is pride God requires humility from all of us which means we should all be teachable. I do agree that your observation is how the dynamic is now but biblically wasn’t how it should be I do hope that all men become the bold outspoken men of the bible, who also knew that listening to others is not a hit on their manhood.
Do you want to just exist or thrive? Also, if you have children, they’re watching and will take on one persona or the other. The abuser or the victim of abuse. Please leave… I had to. Make a plan, stack your money, and leave. Being in an abusive relationship can impact your health and shorten your life.♥️
Hi Bindi could you please make videos on how to deal with sisters in law and mother in law, especially when they respect no boundaries set by us and when husbands remain silent..love your vidoes ❤
I agree with this and deffinatly is the teuth. I also think there are alot of time because of male ego nd pride they dont ask for help when they need it. There are times you can tell men want help but they wont ask for it. It deffinatly takes some discernment to distinguish between when its best to give them space to try and when its like okay you clearly need some help but dont want to ask for it
But even in dealing with that "pride", isn't that something we shouldn't be encouraging? Pride is the root of sin, and if our husband's are supposed to model Christ, shouldn't that be something they are also willing to let go of?
So, what happens if your husband is constantly asking for help!? I am serious! My husband asks for help with just about everything and it makes it nearly impossible for me to do my cooking and cleaning. Furthermore, he is continuosly getting in my space and making messes so that everything I clean is never done. I am sooo exhausted! I keep pointing out to him that he asks me for help for everything or gets in my way. Like when I am hand washing dishes, and then he has to wash his hands and face in the kitchen sink (even though we have 4 bathrooms). Or I start cooking and then suddenly he wants to cook and gets in my literally cooking space so that I cannot manuver around the stove. Here is another thing...He asks me to help him with fixing the cars, which, perhaps some women would like, but I know nothing about cars and I am perfectly happy not working on cars. I have zero desire! However, the problem is that I am busy with our 4 children, housework and cooking. I have 2 children that refuse to eat meat and are gluten and dairy intolerant and then I have 2 autistic kids that will ONLY eat meat. I am beyond busy!
Wow, sounds like you’re really busy! I read in the Love and Respect book that men have a desire/need for shoulder-to-shoulder companionship, so maybe that’s part of it? He could just enjoy working on stuff with you and being close to you. ❤
I definitely need to read this book because we struggle in this area and i dont want my husband to feel like this 😂 Also your baby’s sisterlocks are gorgeous 😊 this made me so excited for my upcoming retie 😂 how Long does her retie take?
I liked the video and will come back to watch as I really love your content! I have biracial daughters as well and hair time is very consuming...you are amazing at separating hair for styling!!!! My girls have a tighter curl pattern but I do wonder if this style would benefit my oldest ❤ if you could do a hair tutorial and pointers as a mother I would love that too!!! They have low porosity hair, easily tangles, finer texture, very dry without extra moisture but silky when properly hydrated. I love their hair, but we have so much to manage I would love to up my hair game ❤❤❤❤
So , I just wanted to ask how to create that environment where he ( the husband ) can be vulnerable enough with you to open up and ask for help. I mean, how to create that connexion or intimacy in our marriage ?
I love how men solve problems though ❤ it warms me, I live for it, they aren't wired like us. Anything with me and a man will go far. My passion and his deciding. I deserve a husband. 😂 I'll watch him resolve life and listen.
I agree,, But I find that a man may not ask for help even when he really needs it, out of fear, so in this instance should you let him suffer till he asks for help??? Shouldn't wisdom speak to me as his wife his help mate?? This is an area I have found myself unsure how best to handle.
I am a divorcee and I am now spiritually remarried never the less my current husband is a dominant Sigma male from what I have been taught men prefer a woman to say how they are being made to feel first an than we are to wait for them to ask us for help an we should in a non demanding way give advice. However with all the chatter of the world these steps often get ignored and we are left with despair
“ Your husband or your wife, but we’re women so your husband .” I love it ❤ people are too scared to say that these days
I love that too
She ate that!!!
People are scared to say that these days. And that’s absurd 😭 a sign of the times.
Which is why we should be so clear about it. Stop fearing men.
@user Thank you 4 stating a "FACT" I
feel exactly the same way, that's the reason I can't agree to it, becuz l'm not even
minuetly understanding it. 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Im single woman and waiting for marriage. I love watching these videos in preparation for my future marriage.
Your are very much on the rt track sis! GOD bless. 🙏🏿💯
Yes so much good and Godly advice
Listen and apply with all you have. God first but listen to her. Listen to her. For your futures sake.
This also makes me think that’s why when men do not offer help it feels hurtful but now I’m thinking “oh my husband is not built to jump in and help” 😮 and he says to me “if you need help ask me” 😅
Makes sense now 😦
Ooooooooo i aint married but that really makes sense. Noted
Yep, my husband always waits for me to ask for help when I'm flustered over dinner or something else. Now I know why!
Never had that problem.
As a man I ageee with what she says!
As a man, I feel like I am at a poetry session. Everyone man in the room is snapping fingers...Thank you!
🇿🇦
Facts Facts bro..
One thing that helped me and my husband in our relationship and marriage was understanding that we’re different. Not just individually but by gender. Our roles, interest, communication styles, perception etc can differ at times but with us knowing this we come to each other most of the time with respect, understanding, and humbleness. Remembering that we’re different gives me peace in his leadership and it gives him peace in my patience and understanding for him. When we cross the line and try to make the other act/think like the opposite gender emotionally , physically, and mentally we both remember that our needs and wants differ from each other, and we get on the same page on how to provide support for one another however we need it so our marriage can continue on glorifying our Lord.
Testimony time: when my husband and I met he wasn’t necessarily the breadwinner in the family. It was difficult for him to keep a job/make money. I resented him for staying home and me being the provider. However I operated constantly in provider mode and step on his toes when it was his turn to lead. I wanted him to lead in all ways esp financially but I had to let go. I stayed home after my second baby and he was determined to figure it out. Although it was not easy for either of us and at times scary. He became a natural at problem solving and enjoys leading. It’s ironic how we went from being a progressive couple to now traditional. I give praise to God for taking us through and teaching us both!
I love you videos Bindi, every time you post it’s a confirmation!
Wow, that beginning point about wives ”suggesting” was spot on! I have had the habit of saying “you’ll want to…” and since getting on top of that I have seen my husband be more comfortable, welcomed and confident around me.
This came at such a needed time. I struggle with trying to change my husband from a loving place ( so I thought) but this has opened my eyes to why he responds the way he does when I try to help him. Thank you so much Bindi please continue creating this much needed content.
How does he respond.
This helped me!!!! This was your first video I personally said in my head “idk about this one Bendi” lol but once I put my EGO aside . I decided to apply it the this week. My husband is doing a home improvement in the kitchen and I literally stayed out the way. I can’t tell you how peaceful I feel that I didn’t need to get involved. I’m sure he is too! Lol thank you! 😂🙌🏾
Love your videos Bindi...you are so mature in Christ. I'm single but still cook and take of my little home. It can get overwhelming at times; however, I just break it into small chunks at a time. 😊
Hi friend I'm tinah I would like to know more about you if you don't mind
Thank you for this content, I just discovered it and it is exactly what I have been looking for. My mom and aunt's are not married which makes it difficult to ask for guidance in marriage related topics as they tend to be negative. I want to get married a lot, this will prepare me well for my marriage. Especially breaking the generational curse. God bless you, keep them coming ❤
This is such a helpful video. I have been married for almost 7 years and finally figuring out that when my husband wants my help or opinion, he is more than able to directly solicit it from me.
I think I read through some of this book when I was in my teens and then completely forgot about it. But now I'm reading Facinating Womanhood vintage edition and it covers the same philosophy. It has helped me focus on changing myself rather than my husband and my marriage has improved greatly. I highly recommend reading it. 🙏🏼
As much as I like content like this, I fail to find similar content made by men for men on how to handle your wife and improve relationships with her. It seem men aren’t interested in building healthy relationships with women. Probably because us, women, do all the job
You ever try 30 Minutes With the Perrys or the ShumakeWay? They’re both on UA-cam and they hit on these topics.
@@kirrineamber Shumake Way is the beeeest 👏🏻
Ruslan KD talks primarily to men. He doesn’t just give relationship advice (he’s a cultural commentator) but when he talks about improvement he addresses and rebukes men 90% of the time (because he is a man). Most women will follow females giving advice to us, not necessarily men. It’s not that they don’t exist, we just aren’t their target audience.
RC Blakes does alot of content on how a man can better love his wife. Tony Gaskins and Pastor Robert Evans as well. They are all believers on youtube. John Grey's writings are secular but he nails it when discussing womens' needs. This is the author Bindi is referring to.
thanks for your comments, guys! I guess I'm not entirely correct
You have truly been a blessing to my marriage! Please keep posting all the things you learn❤️🙌🏽
Thank you so much for this video, Joyce. I especially resonated with your point about not asserting our help but rather waiting to be asked for it. Although our unsolicited opinions or suggestions may come from a good place, our husbands might view it as back-leading. I found that allowing our men to lead encourages them and deepens our trust in them.
Another book you might enjoy is The Them in Him by Dr. Gina Murray; there are some great gems of wisdom in that book.
I like when my wife asks if there is some other way of doing something or wants to help me. I take it as she cares about me and wants to help.
Whyyy is this so true and so hard!!??!??? Lol! It so hard to hold my tongue sometimes but when I don't it does just as you said, it's not helpful and deflates my husband.
Just started the video and I love the blue walls😍 it brings out the warmth in your skin tone!
From a marriage book, I just learned that women need women to balance/nurture then so all that need that is in us doesn't fall on our husbands. This goes hand in hand with that. Helps the community work together in the a different way than the family working together. Interesting. Thank you
Thank you very much Bindi. This has been a blessing to me and many others
Yes!!! More of this content on HOW to yield and respect without losing a voice.
Thank you for this video. I always said men & women see the world through different color lenses. I appreciate the way you explained the book and its content because it made perfect sense. You have a gift with words. I truly appreciate your channel. I'm going to add the book to my Amazon library. Be Blessed
Thank you, this was so inspiring. I needed to be reminded and corrected of this message. I'm not married but this is needed in all relationships! God bless you and your family dear
This is something that has recently come up in my marriage. My husbands friend confided a problem to him and i asked him well what was the advice or comfort you gave him. He said nothing i let him tall and wished him the best. I was so shocked and felt that was such a cold approach but your explanations is spot on with mens communication.
Excellent breakdown. Thank you for this teaching. Those of us (even at older ages) who desire to learn, eliminating the modern day woman programming we've endured are grateful for this kind of teaching. ❤🙏🏾
I love the way you deliver advise with meeknes,, but firm and direct. I enjoy listening to you. The lessons are so enlightening
Ugh! 🙄 I wanted to say "men are so sensitive!" when I was watching this video, but tbh, we're all sensitive in our own ways and stronger than our partners in others. I come to a man for comfort when I have a problem and get frustrated when solutions are offered too soon. So much so, that I can no longer hear him and am not even receiving the solution 😂 Am I not fragile for this? To a man, this is an insane concept, but my fellow women understand. We need to adjust our approach to best reach our audience. This is very true
This was good!!! It definitely made me understand my husband so much better. I have to admit that even I can get bothered by unsolicited advice too. So him constantly getting it from me just be really bothersome. Again, your videos keep me in check as a wife. I need to check out that book.
You’re amazing. I hope your channel explodes to 500 subs super fast! God bless you!
Great Program Sister
Bindi
Much Respect
R
I loved this book and recommend it often. My father actually suggested it to me, and Im forever thankful because of it. I gave me a better understanding of my thought patterns as well.
This is absolutely helpful!!! Noting the differences between men and women are just so beautiful!!!!
I missed your videos so happy you uploaded 🎉
Great Risings, I truly appreciate you sharing this book and biblical concept. Men and woman and indeed different and The Most High made it that way. I will keep this in mind to be a better wife to my husband. This made so much since. 💐
This was good girl! Thanks for sharing and breaking it down.
I read that book awhile ago and I thought it made sense at the time. Then I found out that the author has been divorced (a few times?). I can’t remember if he gave actual examples of what he thought would help a relationship. I can really relate to looking at a situation, anticipating a problem and trying to solve it before it becomes an issue and I see how that adversely affects our relationship.
Great video, Bindi! ❤
This was very insightful. I am truly enjoyed this video. It make sense why men don’t just offer help. Their perception is truly different from ours. I have a new understanding.
Thank you for this video. Solidifying and encouraging my sister
I’m learning so much this information is Gold.
Thank you for this. It’s also really helpful to me as a mom of boys that wants to “help” them and I see how upset they get.
This is right on time!!! Thank you Bindi
Men brainstorm and come up with solutions together. It's not really about weakness. It's about concentration and doing reps mentally to figure out a problem before giving up. We ultimately understand that each challenge is a learning opportunity which leaves us more independent when we figure it out and in the future we are better prepared.
This is a brilliant summary of the book- really enjoyed this video. Thank you, Joyce!
Lol this is so weird because I hate asking for directions/help but my husband will ask the first person he sees, or me.
Great reminder Bindi! ❤
That hair looked like a lot of work! So perfect too! 😅
In the middle of reading Love and Respect. It really goes into detail about this too, and the way we can communicate with one another.
I loved this. Well said, great points and of course you're just awesome, Bindi. Thank you! Please do more from this book
I have this book and been meaning to read it. I am glad you're doing a book review.
Back when it was new, I read Mars and Venus on a date. I highly recommend it.
Was our hair thicker because of the prenatal vitamins? Also I have always had thinner hair because of low iron. Check your iron periodically. Even mildly low iron can cause hair thinning.
Omg I’m a man 🫣 I’m glad I’m here. I genuinely thought I was helping. Thank you, I’m becoming woman. God told me look up videos I’m single but I desire to be a pleasant wife & not a headache. I appreciate the truths u share.
This is good. I'm so from Venus that it's extremely hard for me to fathom that someone doesn't want help. I'm a helpmeet lol I love to help. But I understand and am learning. 😊
This! Was so helpful for me. As a cerebral led woman, it's basically my personality to figure out the why's, and how-to's and the last thing I'd want to do is project my get er done mindset onto my man so thank yoi so much Bindi
This is so helpful! I love your channel ❤ it has been such a gift from God to me 💞.
I love you Joyce. Love your hair. God bless your ministry.
Loved every but if this! You’ve made me want to go read this book!!!! ❤❤❤
Now, I do think the part where women struggle and have the urge to step in, is when you can see the man going the wrong way, naturally, you want to correct not even if you do hold back, at some point, you’ll want to correct. He is right that unsolicited help can be truly counter productive. Interested on his take on the woman’s perspective and handling of things going wrong. Thanks for sharing❤❤❤
Read this book about 13 years ago, really enjoyed it, I need to read again! I read about four or five of his other books as well. I do believe he used to be a pastor as well. ❤
Great video. Thanks for the reminder... I know this very well but I always find myself giving advice and wanting to help.
I'm the same way. You want to ask the Lord to give you help in this. Your intentions are good but it can push a man away. Ecclesiastes 4 says "There's a time to speak & a time to be silent".
The Lord bless you Joyce! ❤ i truly needed to hear this today! i definitely had an " ah ha" moment. I enjoyed this review.
Not quite finished, but this kind of makes me feel hopeless in my marriage because I feel wired to help and I can't. What's the point of being married if I can't help or help is being perceived as an attack???
Exactly
I remember when that book came out, I feel like I overheard about it when my mom was watching like, Oprah or something lol I LOVE watching you do home tasks while you speak. Microlocs looks so cool. Love them so much. If I had curly hair I think I'd definitely do that style! So pretty. I'm very guilty and need to improve in "helping" I find it extremely difficult.
Thank you so much for sharing.Can you do more chapters please.This can improve relationships .I love it
I’m 18 and genuinely curious. For me, it feels as though there’s a disconnect between men and women when the book puts it that way. It makes it seem as though men are incapable of the level of understanding and feeling that women are, and we talk about how we don’t know how to love men the way they need to be loved, but the same can be said for how men love women. I really just l want to be understood. and if we’re from different “planets”, how can women be happy? It sounds as though men just need be made to feel like a man. But to me that comes at the expense of my natural inclinations to help like you said. So why must I be the one to change that about myself when he can easily become less fragile in what makes him feel like a man? Is it that his needs are more important? I’m just confused on that point
I believe there should be compromise and a genuine attempt to understand and love in a way that the other would recieve. This almost seems like it is encouraging to feed in to a spirit of pride. None of us in this life, male or female can make it through alone. Even as a woman myself I feel suffocated by other women's help and advice. Let me ask, don't give it unsolicited but I would articulate that respectfully. Women could learn to mind their own more and Men could learn to set aside their identity in what they achieve and understand it's okay to not know all of the answers.
@@michaelasarabia1944so just say nothing and swollow it like in the good old days.
@Humble Hobbit I totally understand this, I just haven’t really seen much content like this on the other way around. Like how to love your female partner or on making your female partner feel accepted. It isn’t really about pride. It’s just considering what is best for each other. I definitely see how loving a man the way he needs to be loved instead of the way you want to be loved is important. I just really don’t see much on the other way around.
@@aysiahm.a3338 I hear you, and when I said a spirit of pride I wasn't referring to your comment but the video, I apologize and should have written my comment more clearly. I do agree that we shouldn't criticize our husbands or routinely correct him(even if that wasn't the intent) as our words have the power to build him up or tear him down. If you are not feeling heard or considered in your relationship I would gently voice that to your partner because a loving husband would not desire for his actions to be hurtful to his wife. The goal is to be united. Your intent and heart comes from a well meaning place and yes, men have just as much to mature and grow in, we all do but we can only control ourselves. Prayfully we have husbands who want to please and honor the Lord as much as we do.
@@fruitsarelife7073 No, we should strive to communicate in a way that will be effectively received by the men in our life and hopefully we will be married to a man seeking to please the Lord above all else.
Very helpful..i made this mistake at a store..and i asked for help when we were looking for something... being a wife is a learning processes
I haven't watched the video yet (I will), I just had to stop and comment on the locs 😍.
Very very very interesting! Going to watch this with my husband and have an open conversation about it, thanks!! ❤
I think women and man react the same way to unsolicited advice. Both should always listen and wait for the ok "what do you think about this". Works best with every social interaction regardless. I really love your channel because you really give honest and good advice to women and men. PS: you have no idea how good it feels for a man to be the "steady Rock" like Petrus for a family. It makes us better fathers and housbands that go way beyond their limits for the family
Needed this. Thank you Bindi!
I admire your time management skills. Can you give some tips or go into detail in a video because time management is still essential for managing a household and that’s an area where I’m lacking.
Thank you so much for this topic, I will check out the book ❤
Would you be able to talk more about dressing modest and feminine, for the plus size women as well. I would love to wear more dresses and skirts but I wonder how a dress and skirt would work in more casual situations (around the house, grocery shopping, ball games, concerts, doing a bake sale even). Are you pairing the outfits with heels, flats, sandals, a simple sneaker? How do I get started with the wardrobe switch? 🙏🏽
Although I agree with you that is how men are today, I don’t believe that is how God creates them to be. Biblically I struggled to find men that was used greatly in the bible that were like the men you were describing in the sense of not offering opinion until asked and being so fragile in receiving help. The men used greatly by God in the bible were all bold, strong men that shared their opinion la whether or not a person asked. If they felt a rebuke was needed they would give it, advice they would give it. Men in the bible weren’t so fragile and lost in their ego that they could not receive or give help assistance without being asked. Being driven by ego is pride God requires humility from all of us which means we should all be teachable.
I do agree that your observation is how the dynamic is now but biblically wasn’t how it should be I do hope that all men become the bold outspoken men of the bible, who also knew that listening to others is not a hit on their manhood.
Completely unrelated but do you still do hair updates, you’re making me wanna loc my hair😍
Your hair!! 😍
The male and female exist to compliment each other’s efforts in achieving the Creator’s idea, like a well-fitting puzzle.
Mind blowing 🤯
Bindi, I'd like to get your view on existing in a marriage with a spouse whom is verbally/emotionally abusive.
Yes and also communication between husbands and wives in general would be an excellent topic for her to cover.
leave, get out. No woman needs
ANY type of abuse. We weren't
brought into the world for that
purpose.
My mother was in it and had a short life, because stress creates illnesses. So definitely leave for your own wellbeing.
Do you want to just exist or thrive?
Also, if you have children, they’re watching and will take on one persona or the other. The abuser or the victim of abuse.
Please leave… I had to. Make a plan, stack your money, and leave. Being in an abusive relationship can impact your health and shorten your life.♥️
Thank you Bindi, I needed this reminder.
Hi Bindi could you please make videos on how to deal with sisters in law and mother in law, especially when they respect no boundaries set by us and when husbands remain silent..love your vidoes ❤
It's been nice to remember what I read.
I agree with this and deffinatly is the teuth. I also think there are alot of time because of male ego nd pride they dont ask for help when they need it. There are times you can tell men want help but they wont ask for it. It deffinatly takes some discernment to distinguish between when its best to give them space to try and when its like okay you clearly need some help but dont want to ask for it
But even in dealing with that "pride", isn't that something we shouldn't be encouraging? Pride is the root of sin, and if our husband's are supposed to model Christ, shouldn't that be something they are also willing to let go of?
This is very helpful. Thank u and God bless u
Her hair is so beautiful
So, what happens if your husband is constantly asking for help!? I am serious! My husband asks for help with just about everything and it makes it nearly impossible for me to do my cooking and cleaning. Furthermore, he is continuosly getting in my space and making messes so that everything I clean is never done. I am sooo exhausted! I keep pointing out to him that he asks me for help for everything or gets in my way. Like when I am hand washing dishes, and then he has to wash his hands and face in the kitchen sink (even though we have 4 bathrooms). Or I start cooking and then suddenly he wants to cook and gets in my literally cooking space so that I cannot manuver around the stove. Here is another thing...He asks me to help him with fixing the cars, which, perhaps some women would like, but I know nothing about cars and I am perfectly happy not working on cars. I have zero desire! However, the problem is that I am busy with our 4 children, housework and cooking. I have 2 children that refuse to eat meat and are gluten and dairy intolerant and then I have 2 autistic kids that will ONLY eat meat. I am beyond busy!
Wow, sounds like you’re really busy! I read in the Love and Respect book that men have a desire/need for shoulder-to-shoulder companionship, so maybe that’s part of it? He could just enjoy working on stuff with you and being close to you. ❤
Straight up tell him you’re exhausted.
Hey girly 👋🏾 from what I read it seems he wants to spend time you and be around you 🤷🏽♀️
I definitely need to read this book because we struggle in this area and i dont want my husband to feel like this 😂
Also your baby’s sisterlocks are gorgeous 😊 this made me so excited for my upcoming retie 😂 how
Long does her retie take?
Thank you. ❤
I liked the video and will come back to watch as I really love your content! I have biracial daughters as well and hair time is very consuming...you are amazing at separating hair for styling!!!! My girls have a tighter curl pattern but I do wonder if this style would benefit my oldest ❤ if you could do a hair tutorial and pointers as a mother I would love that too!!! They have low porosity hair, easily tangles, finer texture, very dry without extra moisture but silky when properly hydrated. I love their hair, but we have so much to manage I would love to up my hair game ❤❤❤❤
Glowing skin
So is yours!
@@colormeatbirth oh my gosh. Thank you !
Really good and appreciate that is was short
Very helpful
This is also true for your sons as the reach adulthood!❤
If only i would’ve found this video yesterday 😅
Ugh its so exhausting. Why did God make men and women so different?
Maybe just so life could be
a little more interesting, lol
@@colormeatbirth too interesting lol
@@TheGoodwoman589 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
So , I just wanted to ask how to create that environment where he ( the husband ) can be vulnerable enough with you to open up and ask for help. I mean, how to create that connexion or intimacy in our marriage ?
I love how men solve problems though ❤ it warms me, I live for it, they aren't wired like us. Anything with me and a man will go far. My passion and his deciding. I deserve a husband. 😂 I'll watch him resolve life and listen.
I love the men are from mars women are from venus by Dr.Grey. 😊
Nice video
I agree,, But I find that a man may not ask for help even when he really needs it, out of fear, so in this instance should you let him suffer till he asks for help??? Shouldn't wisdom speak to me as his wife his help mate?? This is an area I have found myself unsure how best to handle.
I am a divorcee and I am now spiritually remarried never the less my current husband is a dominant Sigma male from what I have been taught men prefer a woman to say how they are being made to feel first an than we are to wait for them to ask us for help an we should in a non demanding way give advice. However with all the chatter of the world these steps often get ignored and we are left with despair
1001% true....