+i have no dad Or just not that confident in himself. I've seen both from friends of mine. I tend to be very up front about what I think and feel, so I don't have this problem at all. I get that from my parents, I think. They're very laid back, but also brutally honest. I'm kinda the same way in that regard.
+i have no dad Also, I think a backup plan is just plain stupid. You don't have enough respect for that girl you want as a "backup plan" and just as important, you have no respect for yourself.
Or he likes the way you look and he wishes he could get what he needs from you. But your behavior tells him that he can't. Maybe you're a bitch or irrational. He feels like he should dump you but he still hopes to get more from the relationship. Probably sex. If he had a better option you'd get kicked to the curb.
There are no mixed messages. If a guy sends you a text like the one you read off, he's obviously not interested and just wants his shirt. Just give his shirt to the next homeless man you see. That's what I did last weekend. At least the guy is useful for something now.
This actually helped ME realize that I was sending mixed messages to a guy because I was confused and then I asked myself, "Do I like him?Do I want to do this?" The answer was clear, I could take it or leave it. So while he was head over heels for me, I wasn't the same for him and he deserves more than that, so I broke it off.
I agree that these "mixed messages" are the way of the guy thinking "I'll treat her like crap, so hopefully she get the picture so I don't have to actually articulate that I like her but don't want to commit/ don't like her enough". Its gross. I don't understand why people do it, but they do. I seemingly met the perfect guy (actual dates, get along amazing, checking in on me without prodding, amazing chemistry, similar values) Yet 2 WEEKS into dating he tells me he's not sure if he wants a relationship. *Ugh*. It was so hard for me to let go of what I thought we would be. Surely, what we were doing was relationship-y and he enjoyed that, right? It was only now that I've let it go he wasn't really as nice as I thought he was and doesn't have much going for himself. Hindsight. I'm proud of myself for asking the right questions early on and for him to be honest enough to tell me his real intentions.
I think it's hard for us ladies to understand that a man acting like Romeo, dazzling us with attention and connection, may LIKE us but not be INVESTED in us, so isn't necessarily going to follow thru with an actual relationship. We women are wired differently... we would never be acting super into a guy, soaking up all that chemistry, without also being invested in him, and wanting to at least try a relationship with him. So we are confused when the guy is acting so into us, but doesn't follow thru with the relationship, because we would never act this way. It's just not how most women operate. In your case cwilson586, this fellow was acting like Romeo, which meant he no doubt liked you, but then he showed his cards when he revealed that he wasn't actually INVESTED in you. For men, liking a woman and being invested in her, are two different things. For women, these things are very intertwined... we tend to invest in a man as part of the process of starting to like or fall for him, and men just don't work this way, hence there is so much confusion during dating... men will act so into you and then show that they are not actually attached and aren't serious about you. This confuses the hell out of women.
Someone much wiser than me once wrote that if a girl invites a guy up for a drink, and he says, "I have to be a work early tomorrow", it's not going to ever happen. If a guy is into you, even if he has a launch to the moon tomorrow he will come up. As a guy it drives me crazy when women try to justify what is painfully clear - he's the wrong guy.
Thanks. Four years have passed since I wrote that, moved back to the US, and that wisdom still resonates. Men make the same mistake, but for us it’s when we ask a woman out, and she comes up with a plausible excuse. After three times it should sink in, but rarely does - she’s saying no in a nice way.
I'm married and I don't really know why I watch these videos. Maybe it's your personality. But you know what, I like the way you think because I swear I say the same things to my single friends when they're having man troubles. But they never listen to me anyways. So I'm just gonna start Shari g your videos in hopes that you get through to them.
Here's how mine went after dates & then a few amazing intimate get togethers and words like "You've been waiting for this for a long time haven't you?" and "My feelings for you are set in stone". He said, "I didn't mean to get intimate with you", "I'm not looking for a Full Time girlfriend right now" and "my heart's not ready". Then what are you doing messing with mine!!! Earlier I had even explained what I wanted and asked where did he stand and gave him an out. Then the 2nd great intimate experience...then silence, mixed msgs, then big surprise when I asked where he was coming from and he's shocked I want to be dating. Huh. Next time, I'm out at the first sign. I don't do mixed msgs anymore!
+BL4CK KN1G8T Thanks for the response, you cruel man...just kidding. I correct you - I didn't say we had sex or that I slept with him. I said "intimate get togethers" which did not encompass everything you're implying. But I take that last bit of advice WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.
This is so perfect! I literally only 2 weeks ago had a guy say he hoped I wasn't just using him and told me not to friend zone him but then also continued to tell me not to fall for him and that he was incapable of certain emotions right now. WHAAA? You'd be happy to know I ended things as soon as it got compliated coz aint nobody got time for that!!
To all eager responders to my story...THANK YOU! Amazing. I want to clear the first premise you're all going on..."I DIDN'T SAY WE HAD SEX!!!!!" I said "Intimate Get Togethers" and that's what I meant. *I can say this experience has re-enforced a valuable lesson for me that the Black Knight is right about...do not allow such closeness too early, and he's damn right. *Also per other comments about communication, I DID communicate what I want and expect and he showed up to it...then later bailed as if it was unclear. *And finally, I believe he did NOT handle this situation well by not telling me where he stands early on when I opened that door and by not showing self-control. WORST of all saying "I didn't mean to get intimate with you", as this LIE really hurt. It wasn't just about Sex. Ultimately HE'S SCARED & I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN. Thanks Amy for all of this!!
How do we ask you questions? Do you think you could do a video on the following question? "What goes through his mind when you tell him you're afraid of getting hurt by him?"
Just found your videos. THANK U LAWD BABY JESUS!!!!!! I'm not a religious person but OH MY DAMN, if you ever start your own cult or church, sign me the fuck up! :'D
I'm a guy here. These videos are the tops for explaining this shitstorm I'm stuck in: so let me ask the audience, who can probably tell me what I already know. A girl I know and have liked reciprocated for some time. Messaging, flirting, so on. She then asked me out on a date. I was thrilled. It showed intent and interest. The date was moved. Then it was moved again. Feeling this was flake station, I stayed back a bit. Still, she would initiate messages to me and to this day says she wants to get together. In my ghosting or fading experiences, when it's me, I move a date or cancel but don't end up reaching out to try to find another time. That defeats the purpose. Hence my conundrum here: she is always messaging but we never end up doing anything. She's also very nice, but perhaps I am overlooking a classic case of someone who just likes the attention. Chat away, friends!
My ex broke up with me, then back paddled and then couldn't make up his mind if he wanted to get back together. To me you either want to me with a person or you don't so I told him I was done, that I needed a man that knew what he wanted. Dumb ass! He can kiss my ass!
as a guy, typically when a male sends you mixed messages, he usually doesn't really like you but wants you as a backup plan
+i have no dad Or just not that confident in himself. I've seen both from friends of mine. I tend to be very up front about what I think and feel, so I don't have this problem at all. I get that from my parents, I think. They're very laid back, but also brutally honest. I'm kinda the same way in that regard.
+i have no dad Also, I think a backup plan is just plain stupid. You don't have enough respect for that girl you want as a "backup plan" and just as important, you have no respect for yourself.
+i have no dad oh well thats great xD
Or he likes the way you look and he wishes he could get what he needs from you. But your behavior tells him that he can't. Maybe you're a bitch or irrational. He feels like he should dump you but he still hopes to get more from the relationship. Probably sex. If he had a better option you'd get kicked to the curb.
Great. Just. Bloody great.
There are no mixed messages. If a guy sends you a text like the one you read off, he's obviously not interested and just wants his shirt. Just give his shirt to the next homeless man you see. That's what I did last weekend. At least the guy is useful for something now.
This actually helped ME realize that I was sending mixed messages to a guy because I was confused and then I asked myself, "Do I like him?Do I want to do this?" The answer was clear, I could take it or leave it. So while he was head over heels for me, I wasn't the same for him and he deserves more than that, so I broke it off.
Rebecca Muniz proud of you girl! Treating someone how you want to be treated, hopefully he can pay it forward (:
Mixed messages = he's just not that into you.
This woman has turned my night around. Love you man
I agree that these "mixed messages" are the way of the guy thinking "I'll treat her like crap, so hopefully she get the picture so I don't have to actually articulate that I like her but don't want to commit/ don't like her enough". Its gross. I don't understand why people do it, but they do.
I seemingly met the perfect guy (actual dates, get along amazing, checking in on me without prodding, amazing chemistry, similar values) Yet 2 WEEKS into dating he tells me he's not sure if he wants a relationship. *Ugh*. It was so hard for me to let go of what I thought we would be. Surely, what we were doing was relationship-y and he enjoyed that, right? It was only now that I've let it go he wasn't really as nice as I thought he was and doesn't have much going for himself. Hindsight. I'm proud of myself for asking the right questions early on and for him to be honest enough to tell me his real intentions.
I think it's hard for us ladies to understand that a man acting like Romeo, dazzling us with attention and connection, may LIKE us but not be INVESTED in us, so isn't necessarily going to follow thru with an actual relationship. We women are wired differently... we would never be acting super into a guy, soaking up all that chemistry, without also being invested in him, and wanting to at least try a relationship with him. So we are confused when the guy is acting so into us, but doesn't follow thru with the relationship, because we would never act this way. It's just not how most women operate.
In your case cwilson586, this fellow was acting like Romeo, which meant he no doubt liked you, but then he showed his cards when he revealed that he wasn't actually INVESTED in you. For men, liking a woman and being invested in her, are two different things. For women, these things are very intertwined... we tend to invest in a man as part of the process of starting to like or fall for him, and men just don't work this way, hence there is so much confusion during dating... men will act so into you and then show that they are not actually attached and aren't serious about you. This confuses the hell out of women.
Someone much wiser than me once wrote that if a girl invites a guy up for a drink, and he says, "I have to be a work early tomorrow", it's not going to ever happen. If a guy is into you, even if he has a launch to the moon tomorrow he will come up. As a guy it drives me crazy when women try to justify what is painfully clear - he's the wrong guy.
Yes, that was Sex & the City :)
Thanks. Four years have passed since I wrote that, moved back to the US, and that wisdom still resonates. Men make the same mistake, but for us it’s when we ask a woman out, and she comes up with a plausible excuse. After three times it should sink in, but rarely does - she’s saying no in a nice way.
I'm married and I don't really know why I watch these videos. Maybe it's your personality. But you know what, I like the way you think because I swear I say the same things to my single friends when they're having man troubles. But they never listen to me anyways. So I'm just gonna start Shari g your videos in hopes that you get through to them.
@@mandy8719 you're married?
Here's how mine went after dates & then a few amazing intimate get togethers and words like "You've been waiting for this for a long time haven't you?" and "My feelings for you are set in stone". He said, "I didn't mean to get intimate with you", "I'm not looking for a Full Time girlfriend right now" and "my heart's not ready". Then what are you doing messing with mine!!! Earlier I had even explained what I wanted and asked where did he stand and gave him an out. Then the 2nd great intimate experience...then silence, mixed msgs, then big surprise when I asked where he was coming from and he's shocked I want to be dating. Huh. Next time, I'm out at the first sign. I don't do mixed msgs anymore!
+BL4CK KN1G8T do you notice all your responses are blame the woman? Just saying
#victimblaming
Come at me bro!
+BL4CK KN1G8T Thanks for the response, you cruel man...just kidding. I correct you - I didn't say we had sex or that I slept with him. I said "intimate get togethers" which did not encompass everything you're implying. But I take that last bit of advice WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.
Couldn't have come across this at a better time. Mixed messages are not my thing! Thanks Amy xx
This is so perfect! I literally only 2 weeks ago had a guy say he hoped I wasn't just using him and told me not to friend zone him but then also continued to tell me not to fall for him and that he was incapable of certain emotions right now. WHAAA? You'd be happy to know I ended things as soon as it got compliated coz aint nobody got time for that!!
these always calms me down
To all eager responders to my story...THANK YOU! Amazing. I want to clear the first premise you're all going on..."I DIDN'T SAY WE HAD SEX!!!!!" I said "Intimate Get Togethers" and that's what I meant. *I can say this experience has re-enforced a valuable lesson for me that the Black Knight is right about...do not allow such closeness too early, and he's damn right. *Also per other comments about communication, I DID communicate what I want and expect and he showed up to it...then later bailed as if it was unclear. *And finally, I believe he did NOT handle this situation well by not telling me where he stands early on when I opened that door and by not showing self-control. WORST of all saying "I didn't mean to get intimate with you", as this LIE really hurt. It wasn't just about Sex. Ultimately HE'S SCARED & I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN. Thanks Amy for all of this!!
This is one of my fave videos I've ever seen!!! So funny and such good advice ;)
amy you are very intelligent and creative can't get enough of these videos!!
You are actually a really, really good actress.. Your message is great too, but your acting.. Mind-blowing! Bravo! Haha
Mixed messages aren´t my thing either!! Love your vid :D
absolutely love this video, describes the exact situation i was in a couple weeks back, could've done with this then!
I so needed this today!! Thank you, Amy :D
This is so, so on point Amy.
You are my weekly joy, Amy!!! Loved it
Great advice as always Amy!
I needed to see this. Thanks Amy! 💜
*sigh* needed this today :) thanks
How do we ask you questions? Do you think you could do a video on the following question? "What goes through his mind when you tell him you're afraid of getting hurt by him?"
You are Awesome girl!
Just found your videos. THANK U LAWD BABY JESUS!!!!!! I'm not a religious person but OH MY DAMN, if you ever start your own cult or church, sign me the fuck up! :'D
you are awesome Amy!
May God have mercy on his soul.
Dude! You. Are. Amazing!.. you are my love guru😛
Such a good topic!!!!!!
Me: yeah, I will drop the ashes of your sweater at your work place.
You are amazing!!
Ur too cute smart funny , love those expressions, u can be an actress 😉
So on point!!!!
I'm a guy here. These videos are the tops for explaining this shitstorm I'm stuck in: so let me ask the audience, who can probably tell me what I already know. A girl I know and have liked reciprocated for some time. Messaging, flirting, so on. She then asked me out on a date. I was thrilled. It showed intent and interest. The date was moved. Then it was moved again. Feeling this was flake station, I stayed back a bit. Still, she would initiate messages to me and to this day says she wants to get together.
In my ghosting or fading experiences, when it's me, I move a date or cancel but don't end up reaching out to try to find another time. That defeats the purpose. Hence my conundrum here: she is always messaging but we never end up doing anything. She's also very nice, but perhaps I am overlooking a classic case of someone who just likes the attention. Chat away, friends!
Who else says ‘with a scenario ‘ with her😂😂
oMG I can relate to this so much smh Sad but true
Your awesome!
You rock my socks !
0:02 please don't do that anymore lol
PREACH
I love you. that is all
My ex broke up with me, then back paddled and then couldn't make up his mind if he wanted to get back together. To me you either want to me with a person or you don't so I told him I was done, that I needed a man that knew what he wanted. Dumb ass! He can kiss my ass!
Ok. So we're clear that he's just not that into me. So. Now we need to get somewhere- HOW do you get over a guy who doesn't like you enough??
guy be like i have a million fucking thing in my mind and girl be like ill be your FUCKING AGENDA = he is going to be so loved and sorted out tonight
✌🏼👌🏽✌🏼👌🏽
Most women want what they themselves are not willing to give.
im sure ive seen you you on uk tv but you have put some weight on ?
✌🏼👌🏽✌🏼👌🏽