I finally watched the whole special and I was crying laughing. Every type of joke just coming at you, you have no idea what to expect but you know it's gonna be good
i had a girlfriend that dumped a full beer on my head at a red sox game. i had another gf that gave me a list of 12 things to change about myself over breakfast at a restaurant. i have more but i think i embarrassed myself enough. and that list girl did reach out to me on FB about 10 years later wanting to get back together.
@@benexler LOL. that girl "kidnapped" me and i thought it was going to be fun but she drove me 2 hours away to her mom's house. her mom grilled me..she asked what i do and i said teacher. she said what do you do in the summers and i said i dont work. summer vacation. the mother told me to get a job. the gf put that on the list. she wanted furniture at her moms house so she had me drive the moving van back to where she lives while she took off in her car. i was pissed. this was the weekend. going to your bitch moms house and making me drive a moving fucking van for 2 hours. she made it sound like we were going on a road trip to have fun. oh and we slept at the moms house and we didnt have sex b/c it would be disrespectful to her mom.
lol my ex dumped out a near full starbucks latte in my car. she also reached out to me after like 10 years and i was like, oh sure it's been a while, what could go wrong. broke up (for good this time) 7 months ago and she still tries to contact me daily. she was a psych major too 😂
@@zalyster i had an ex that broke up with me twice back in the 90s. 20 years later she friend requests me on FB. i accepted and she shows up 10 min later. she has a husband and 3 kids at home and she wants to hook up. i am def a freak magnet.
I knew three psychologists in my life. All happened to be women. And yeah, that pretty much checks out. I think psychotics become psychologists to gaslight people about what psychotic behaviour really is. It's a defense mechanism of sorts.
@@9er817what does it mean when someone types out “umm”? I know that it is a space holder for people that have speech issues until they work out the bugs (i.e. insecurity) but in writing you have full control.
@@justinduran1 Yeah. She really is. When Sam says the only thing he's looking for in a g/f now is someone who won't holler at him in public, and watching her performances...she's very messed up.
@@mystuff9999 Yeah. That's what Sam thought too. (Despite all his roasting, in his heart he's really a great guy and I know he tried to "fix" her. Some people are just too broken. Sad.)
3:51 "neither are we" made me cry laughing like damnnn
I finally watched the whole special and I was crying laughing. Every type of joke just coming at you, you have no idea what to expect but you know it's gonna be good
i had a girlfriend that dumped a full beer on my head at a red sox game. i had another gf that gave me a list of 12 things to change about myself over breakfast at a restaurant. i have more but i think i embarrassed myself enough. and that list girl did reach out to me on FB about 10 years later wanting to get back together.
Item 13: get back together with me in 10 years
@@benexler LOL. that girl "kidnapped" me and i thought it was going to be fun but she drove me 2 hours away to her mom's house. her mom grilled me..she asked what i do and i said teacher. she said what do you do in the summers and i said i dont work. summer vacation. the mother told me to get a job. the gf put that on the list. she wanted furniture at her moms house so she had me drive the moving van back to where she lives while she took off in her car. i was pissed. this was the weekend. going to your bitch moms house and making me drive a moving fucking van for 2 hours. she made it sound like we were going on a road trip to have fun. oh and we slept at the moms house and we didnt have sex b/c it would be disrespectful to her mom.
Sing to them: weeeheee are never, ever, ever... getting back together 😂
lol my ex dumped out a near full starbucks latte in my car. she also reached out to me after like 10 years and i was like, oh sure it's been a while, what could go wrong. broke up (for good this time) 7 months ago and she still tries to contact me daily. she was a psych major too 😂
@@zalyster i had an ex that broke up with me twice back in the 90s. 20 years later she friend requests me on FB. i accepted and she shows up 10 min later. she has a husband and 3 kids at home and she wants to hook up. i am def a freak magnet.
I knew three psychologists in my life. All happened to be women. And yeah, that pretty much checks out. I think psychotics become psychologists to gaslight people about what psychotic behaviour really is. It's a defense mechanism of sorts.
No, I think they become psychologists to try figure themselves out..
God I love this special
Sam is one talented dude!
I have watched all your specials.one of the funniest guys out.
You sound like Melinda..
One of the funniest AND most intelligent.
OMG Imagine having your (crazy) texts read out loud to a whole crowd laughing at you...
Never quit, never surrender 😤
I'm glad this wasn't about Taylor. She's awesome.
I would fill my whole entire ceiling with Taylor Tomlinsons footprints- if given the opportunity.
I am 99.9% certain her real name is Melinda.
Sam my dude, you’re a legend! thanks for sharing 🫡
REDBARS WATCHING
Best agent ever!
Was a good special!
Great material 🎉
Good stuff as always Sam. Looking forward to seeing your show live.
Please come to Fresno California!! Or nearby.
So I have to sub to Prime to watch the special? Okay time for a trial subscription
Literal LOL with this one. Wow.
I also found out that I have gotten off extremely easy in the ex department. Props to you for being mature and for your agent for everything.
this is hilarious
So so soooo good! Makes me want to be your ex for a day and see how you’d roast me 🤣
Man, be careful what you wish for… I’m a complete stranger and my answer was spit. Comedy… 🤷♂️
Why does he remind me of Mr.Bean 💀💀💀
It's like Mr bean's hypothetical nephew or something lol
Redbars watching
As a late sage once said, Ex Girl to the Next Girl.
Ok that ex is psycho
I’ve heard you talk about this too much lol
Sam they calling Kat Bodega Kat😅😅😅 that's gotta be good for buisness😊
\o/ Morrilllll
The suit is throwing me off dude
Nice try sam, i know you love me ❤!!!!
that's a scaryass lady
😲😂
OMFG! I thought I was crazy (I'm am 😂) but compare to melinda I'm adorable 🥰😅
Tells you everything you need to know about Amercian therapists.
Umm actually she's a psychologist ☝️🤓
@@9er817what does it mean when someone types out “umm”? I know that it is a space holder for people that have speech issues until they work out the bugs (i.e. insecurity) but in writing you have full control.
@@genesispuredeaf2390 yeah I just did it so the comment is a bit more uncomfortable to read
I'm gay and drunk
I didn't like the amazon gig. It didn't seem to be you. It seemed a bit toned down. But 1 bad show isn't bad. I'm still a big fan
I kind of felt the same way. I like when he's talking about the weirdest shit imaginable and being the only one who will touch the topic.
Dayum. I was sure it was going to be Taylor T. (And speaking of which...you sure do date some crazies man. You really do.) 😉
Except Taylor isn't crazy..
@@justinduran1 Yeah. She really is. When Sam says the only thing he's looking for in a g/f now is someone who won't holler at him in public, and watching her performances...she's very messed up.
@@skaybaltimoreDon’t care. She funny. I could fix her ❤
@@mystuff9999 Yeah. That's what Sam thought too. (Despite all his roasting, in his heart he's really a great guy and I know he tried to "fix" her. Some people are just too broken. Sad.)
@ I did not even know they dated 😆 Did he talk about it anywhere? Sounds like my kind of gossip