Being alone is literally so underrated. Some people would learn A LOT about themselves and about others by spending some time alone like ARGH you´re going to have SO many big realizations!
I have so many at the age of 20 years old and have been doing some self-relfecfion of my whole entire life and how terrible it always was up until this day as well, smfh.
The pandemic put me in a safe place to finally accept my introversion. It was like the universe realized I needed a break from the years of fears: scared of missing out, scared of not being interesting enough to befriend people, what others would assume if I was by myself, etc. I have a more healthier mindset now and enjoy doing things on my own time and energy, but I can’t deny the events that would have been such much more memorable if I had my loved ones with me
I think rn I’m experiencing the opposite it’s now that I’m scared of missing out and stuff because I’ve missed out on so much before becauseeee of my introversion. And quarantine made it worse for me because now I don’t even like going outside :/ im trying to be present with the people around me but it’s so hard cause I end up isolating myself again ahhhhh yeah and that’s really good for you :)
“You should be your OWN favorite person” SAY IT LOUDER 4 THE PPL IN THE BACK 🗣. I loved watching this video so much, thank you for taking the time to sit down with us + sharing ur thoughts
relate so much to going to concerts solo vs with a group!! groups sometimes kill your vibe when they're not as interested in the artist/music as you are, but the shared experience can make the time super memorable! on the other hand, going solo gives you so much freedom to enjoy yourself how you want to but risks becoming a repetitive experience.
exactly what I want to address about being alone. I went to GOT7 concert oversea alone. Now I'm looking back, I cant believe I did that. A girl like me, go to Thailand for the first time all by myself, go to GOT7 concert all by myself. I'm pretty proud of myself hahaha
YOU RULE!!! Honestly tho, priorities. GOT7 is a good investment to make, and it’s a fun story you can tell people now :) Not gonna lie, I’m proud of you
what you said about wanting a significant other so that you can someone's favorite person hit really close to home for me lol i've always felt the same way about having or wanting to have a "best friend" but in the end i was always everyones second choice so the only person i could really trust with my feelings was myself. this video helped me come to term with a lot of what ive been feeling recently, always love ur videos dustin
Too relatable.....but it hurts more when you're not even the second but the last choice.... because I usually don't have the urge to be with people but then in years I find someone I genuinely like and then I realize that they take me as their last option, so yeah now I trust only myself. After implementing this mindset I feel so much better and unapologetic. I feel as if I don't really have to be perfect in someone else's eyes💜
This is literally how I’m feeling right now. My sister left for university and hasn’t called me once (I’m always calling her) but we used to be so close. I live in a really small town and there’s literally nothing to do unless you’re a outdoor person and I’m not lol.I just want people to call me and ask how my day was or what I ate etc., the little things. sorry for ranting but yeah I 100% relate to your comments lol.
this is really weird, 20 minutes ago i was like “damn i need to socialise more, or maybe i need to watch a video on youtube called smth fancy like *the art of being by yourself*” perfect timing
@@mel4340 If you want, you can practice talking to people here. I understand what you mean to an extent - I struggle with ordering food at Subway or Starbucks because of the stress of human interaction. I am an extrovert though, so around people that I sort of know, I am good with social interaction. Feel free to chat with me here!
@@julkawksiazkach listen I never said I didn’t hate y’all. I constantly contemplate tackling my best friend on a constant basis. Y’all stress me out.. but at least y’all do it in style 😡💕
I've been trying so hard to do things alone instead of waiting for someone to come with me to places BUT it is so scary to do things alone as a girl... like deadass I would go to concerts alone but I don't want to be out at night by myself... but aye I'm able to go shopping by myself now!!!!!! I love going to Marshall's alone and shopping HELLA slow going back n forth through the store
This is what I was thinking :( I feel like the concerts I would enjoy going to tend to be late at night in not the greatest parts of town… i don’t know how safe I’d feel
if it makes you feel better, I've been going to concerts alone since I was 16 and the people at the concerts have always watched out for me and have been really nice :) but definitely do whatever you're comfortable with!
I'm so sensitive to other people's energy as well. I think it's because we're empaths. Don't be worried about saying "vibe" too much. If I do not vibe with someone's current vibe, I DONT WANT IT
i think this video/discussion was soooo healthy. i recently had a “breakup” with my best friend and i see all these vids on how to “ ✨ enjoy being alone ✨ “ but the reality is that we can’t do it all the time. that’s not independence , it’s isolation. but finding that balance where i CAN be by myself is so so healthy.
I started University in September and oml does this resonate. I 'got used to being alone' a few years ago but man, when the loneliness kicks in and you're crying on the floor yet again it definitely becomes very tiring. It's definitely a balance as you said and sometimes circumstance doesn't let you achieve it properly but it's nice sometimes to just hear that people get you you know? So yeah I guess this video came at the right time for me so thank you. Hopefully better days will come for all of us
Same here i started uni in sep too and i have people around me yet i feel alone and just the other day i cried by myself lying on my bed. Not having someone in the times like this is very sad
@@Mel-nw4tw I hope everything will get better for you in time. Its nice to have people to relate to though because it feels like nobody else is struggling as much as you. I'm sending hugs to wherever you are
i love how spending time alone is becoming less stigmatized because i genuinely enjoy being by myself and doing activities you typically do with other people alone
I’m currently a first year in college and I’m going through the stage of being alone. Honestly been okay with it because I’m able to do what I want without no one judging me but at the same time it would feel nice to have company at times :/ Id love to make friends but it’s honestly hard because people have their friend groups already and I’ve actually been stood up by a few others which definitely left me disappointed. But it gets better hopefully…..
Don’t give up, college gives you what you put in. Go to societies on subjects or activities that you like, and go regularly, e ventually you’ll make friends if you strike up conversations with people. People might have groups already, but you can make friends throughout college , it’s different to high school in that way. Obviously only do this if you still want to make friends,if you don’t then that’s fine too, and just be yourself :)
This might feel random, but you should read Normal People. It is painfully honest about the college experience, and how the friends you have are completely different. The loneliness that one of the character’s feel might help you feel less lonely… if that made sense?
Girl same... Im in my second year and I finally NOW have ppl that I actually like and want to be with. It will get better but if it doesn't you can always make it better.
I feel you..but in my case i tend to make better ME time to explore myself more and do things that didn't need many people to deal with, you can focus on your study tho. Build a college friend environment is not easy, but after all you just need to put more confidence in what you do, and let others judge.
this is the mindset I dream of having. I struggle a lot with social anxiety and going outside is already hard for me, especially alone. tysm for this video, it’s really inspiring
I’m in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in and something I’ve learned in the past year (mostly due to having to be long distance the past four months) I LOVE being alone. I don’t mind my partner wanting alone time. I also love being with my partner. We keep a healthy balance and I appreciate that. Im an introvert learning to be an ambrivert , it’s a process but I’m having to learn to love being around others rather than being alone all the time. I love knowing that I can be dependent on my partner if I need to, but I also love knowing I can be dependent on myself when feeling lonely. If my partner can’t talk (he’s in the military) I tend to go to a journal and write as if im talking to him or a best friend and it genuinely helps the feeling of loneliness. (sorry for the long ramble i hope i made sense) but my point is i completely agree! but it’s also okay to be dependent on a partner!
I'm home alone alot,sometimes seeing someone is to much for me. I rather be by myself and I found so many hand craft hobbies and I'm pretty good at them😌 I never found time to calm down and drawing,painting,embroidery and more calms me down and I enjoy my me time☺
i love finding ppl who remind me of myself so much very relatable. i literally hate loneliness it’s the biggest issue this past year for me but i started doing things alone like going out to a restaurant by myself going outside and playing alone like it’s made it easier to be alone and enjoy myself. it’s still hard but working on it
About what you said in the end with not making memorable memories by yourself... When I just graduated high school I bought a day-pass for public transport and travelled to two bigger cities in my country. I went by myself because I wanted to enjoy the day the way I want and honestly it was one of the most memorable day I had this year. I went to a city by a lake and just relaxed there, then I got some dessert because nobody can stop me from eating sweets before lunch, then I went to another city to a queer bookstore and the last thing I did was going to a museum. I think we can make really fun memories ourselves, we just have to consciously decide that that day is ours to manage. It's really freeing to make all decisions yourself and just shut the voice in your head up that's constantly saying "you're such a loser for coming here all alone, everyone's watching you." I really struggled with being by myself because I'm introverted af and I used to be very self-conscious about everything...
I'm in my first year of college, and I spend like 98% of my time exclusively with myself. It's hard sometimes, and loneliness is very real, but all this time with myself taught me that there's a huge but very important difference between being lonely and simply being alone. I'm learning so much about myself and am really learning how to enjoy life and myself in my own company. In the grand scheme of things, it's such a liberating experience
hey Dustin, this year I actually found peace by being alone. I had aot of anxiety, sadness and struggle this year and being around people actually made it worse. Being alone can be really healing (yet, it can still feel lonely). From a personal experience, it's better to feel lonely alone, than feeling it while surrounded with people you don't vibe with. Life is about fases, I was really extroverted for the most part of my life ( i'm just 21 and i'm talking like an old lady) but I just turn into a very shy and introverted person... and it's okay. It helped me grew
I also found peace with being alone this year when I distanced myself from people who were draining me and unwilling to put in the same amount of effort as I into the friendship/relationship. I hope you're doing okay now :-)
“I like to match energy…” I loved the way you phrased this. Compensating/trying to create balance for others energy can truly be exhausting. Thank you for providing such quality content
I went to the movies for the first time alone and watched Last Night in Soho, it was such an interesting experience. I felt like I was listening to what I wanted more than I ever do when I’m with someone else, I’m usually such a giving person, I always hope they’re having a good time
I moved to Paris for my Master's degree and spent a lot of time alone, especially for the first year. I was super lonely and miserable at the time, but I also do have some fond memories of going to parks, libraries, cafes and poetry events by myself. I didn't realise at the time that I was making some fond memories, because while I was doing it I kept longing for a friend to be there by my side. But now I look back on it as a time of learning, and I know that in the future if I'm alone in a new city again I can actually survive it because I've done it before. But I think I am the kind of person who is happier having friends and even being in a relationship. I guess I want to build a balance of both, at some point.
being alone and independent is a great thing to understand how to be content with, yet one should balance this because being vulnerable to other people is important too. with this, I mean trusting others even if that does mean you are disappointed at times because one day someone will come and they won't continuously let you down. if you have to be put in the mindset of 'if i want something done, i have to do it myself' these people won't be able to fully be there for you. everything is temporary, might as well balance the options you do have. Great video by the way , Dustin!
@Shilah Riddell thanks for writing this. i'm the worst at human interactions, like, i don't trust or feel safe around anyone ever, knowing that it's okay to feel that way and it's okay to be let down a lot and yet to not give up on people altogether is really something i've never considered lol I'm writing that down
This came up in my recommended. I didn't really understand why I constantly wanted people around me, I just always hated being alone to a point where I just kept very toxic people around me without really being aware of it. "you don't have to be someone's favorite person you should be your own favorite person" I needed that :') my journey starts now! Thank you v much
this is really interesting because during 2020, i was spending most of my time alone and do whatever i wanna do. I hung out with maybe 1 friend at most (due to covid) and didn't really think it's a big deal but now, being in my 2nd year of university, having met so many amazing people, been to parties etc., i realized that i love socializing. I still might be an introvert at heart but i'm pretty outgoing and like meeting new people, and even talking to strangers.
as someone that has been really struggling to get to know my own self, i'm extremely happy to have found your channel! learning to be alone and to enjoy your own company is not talked/teached about enough but it's honestly a healing thing
Speaking of going to movies alone - I really recommend movie discussion clubs!!! I didn’t know anyone when I went there and everyone was so keen to talk that I made some friends right before the movie and had someone to sit with lol
bruhhhHHHHHH i could relate to you soososososoos much on this. I'm actually really grateful that i got to the point where i was tired on waiting for other people to match my energy/wants because being along unlocks a wholleeee other side of life. the fact that i can literally shrug my shoulders and still continue to book those concert/movie tickets when my friends say no is the most liberating thing in the entire world. i know for a fact that time with myself will always 1000% be a good time (which is not guaranteed when i go do things with other people) that being that, i feel like enjoying being in solitude helped me appreciate my high quality friendships even more. I no longer force myself to hang out with people who i don't really resonate with because there's no longer this fear of being alone. thus, it makes more room for quality time with those who really matter. it has really simplified my social life where now the majority of social interaction i have is genuinely fulfilling to the heart. thank you for sharing dustin i love hearing ur thoughts truly and i just saw the other comment and i think i resonate a lot cause I'm also a gemini LMAOO
I'm so grateful that this video came out in this period of my life; I just started going to college, sometimes I have to go there alone cause I don't have friends that have the same classes as me and this scared me a lot cause I live in the country side and I have to go to the big city to follow my classes. right now I'm more motivated to do things alone and more confident to do things by myself, thanks a lot for this vid dustin :c
thank you dustin, i really needed that. Lately i was getting super lonely bc i cant really talk to people in my class. i'm too shy and too scared to do that and i need to start appreciate my alone time more. bc i need to be my own friend thank you
the video have gone by so fast, i could listen to your rants all the time, it felt so safe and lovely hearing your thoughts. recently i have fallen for a guy for the first time and i am working on not just waiting around for him but to make plans w/friends or alone. it's interesting seeing how i would push everything aside just to be/write w/him, but as u said i need to prioritize myself first so i'm trying to do that and do some self-care shit. have a lovely rest of your day and thank u for the video :)).
felt that “maybe people should just not fail me” bc like … you grow up and realize that most people are too caught up in their own lives and it hard to find people who genuinely want to spend time with you and vibe at the same wavelength 🙃 having to unlearn expectations because people don’t think and make the same choices as you would make has been my personal shadow work 🥲
Hi I found this video literally at the best time. I just found out that my friends were using me and that they didn’t actually like me for who I am so this being here is very useful. Today’s free period felt a little lonely because I just went to the library and studied and listened to music. This video is making me feel like I don’t need to have friends there for me to have a good time. This was much appreciated💜
this was the first video i've watched of urs and it was lovely! thx for sharing ur thoughts and experience (: i agree being alone can get very lonely, but learning about yourself and discovery of ur mind body and soul is beautiful
Amazing video! I love how you shed light on both loneliness/ glorified independence and dependence/committed relationships as I see a lot of videos talking about how "love doesn't do anything for you, you should focus on your career and stop always wanting love" while I simultaneously have this problem of avoiding things as long as I don't have anybody to do them with. I really resonated with the things you elaborated on. Thanks for this video and sharing your thoughts!
thank u so much for this video i quite honestly really needed this!! I've started a part-time job a month ago, so I've been working on Saturdays, sundays & Mondays. it's getting really hard to see my friends since most of them are still in college/school etc. I've been trying to learn how to be alone more, but i feel like I've been putting too much pressure on myself to do things instead of simply... enjoying time and taking my off days one day at a time. thanks again for the vid!! it did me some good to hear those words
Bruh Dustin posted this at the perfect time, I feel much better about having many of the same thoughts and I really needed this. Thank you fellow lonely bestie ❤️
"I can only depend on myself because no one cares more about me than me. I can only trust myself to pull through with something because I always know I will pull through for myself", those are some powerful words you said there Dustin
This is so relatable Dustin and there is no shame in recognizing how disappointed you are in others and GOOD FOR YOU FOR ALWAYS PULLING THRU for others and for yourself, what a star
i 100% understand how you feel especially in terms of people matching your spontaneous energy... i find it super hard to make plans with people so i end up spending a significant amount of time alone (it doesn't help that i also live alone). it's refreshing to see someone who also feels this way! i hope eventually you find a pattern that feels right for you
i just moved to uni a couple months back and even though ive literally made friends for life, sometimes i get envious of all the relationships (platonic and romantic) around me but i learnt that need some time alone sometimes when my friends aren't around. i don't always have to be around people. ive been sleeping for the past 3 days, barely talking to anyone and today i woke up and forced myself to take a walk alone and rn i just made myself some food and watched this video. the timing was perfect. i felt safe being w myself today finally. but i cant be alone all the time either. i finally met my friends and called some of them from back home. its so important to maintain a balance and still feel comfortable with yourself and w others. tysm dustin for being honest about this. you literally read my mind, ily
I'm literally in that moment of my life, have stoped doing things just cuz my friends were not available at the time and i didn't want it to do things alone, but now I'm reflecting on that and trying to do things by myself too, thank u 4 doing this
I'm feel both freaked out and comforted by how much i relate to everything said in this video. I've been thinking about this for a while, i don't want to depend on others to do things i'm interested in anymore, this is a sign 🌟
omg i knew i was drawn to you for a reason. why are we so similar. everything you said was spot on .those have been my thoughts too for a long while . you said everything ive been thinking that i could not put into words . it was great to hear this from another's perspective too . love this thank you sm for this video .its given me alot to think about and work through. lots of love from Australia xx you are amazing :)
Literally the first time I’ve heard someone else who has just as much energy as I do and is willing to go things spontaneously + do things alone! 🙏🏼 found you randomly on my YT feed, and I’m so glad I did haha
mmm i really love the turn you took at the end of the video!! like YES being alone & comfy with urself and prioritizing hanging w urself & loving urself is sooooo essential!!! but also still making time for the folks u love and investing in good relationships is what its all about baby!!! it's such a key balance. i've found it easiest to receive love from others when i can love myself, too, so thats something i'm really tryna do out here!!!
Really felt the part around 12:30 where you mentioned not having anyone to discuss the movie with after watching it alone--- my biggest hang-up is always that I'm generally fine doing things alone, but it all feels SO pointless because I can't share any of my happiness with anyone. Like sure I enjoyed the movie, but it's like you said--I don't remember anything outside of precious time spent with other people, so any kind of joy I might feel on my own just doesn't seem as meaningful. Not sure how to kick that train of thought out of my head, haha, but I really appreciate that you echoed my feelings!
i don't usually comment on videos but i genuinely don't think i've ever related to a video this much. over the past few years i've realized how unreliable people can be and how i shouldn't let that hold me back from doing the things i want to do. i am also a very spontaneous person so when i randomly ask friends if they want to do something and i always get a no for an answer it's discouraging. i want to learn to depend on myself more. watching this video really made me feel understood and has inspired me to get past this. thank you
I really enjoyed this video because it represented perfectly how I'm feeling at the moment.Currently in an exchange program really really far from home and have faced loneliness becuase of expectations that I have put on other people and had to force myself to get out by myself to not be just at home all the time. It is indeed really refreshing and empowering to experiment the art of being alone. Looking forward more content and stay safe ^^
This came at the perfect time. I literally had the epiphany like a week ago that I let my happiness depend on other people too much! I think spending more time alone will help me not only learn more about myself but also be less apologetic and indecisive, which I feel can only make my time with other people less stressful and more authentic.
Dustin!! omg this was the first video of yours that i watched and irelated SO MUCH with the things that you said. i wish i had a friend like you, bc you put into words many of my thoughts
I loved the way you explained being alone. i can literally relate to everything you said. i always ask my self am i not enough to for myself, can't i enjoy doing things alone. so i was very happy to watch this content : ]
Honestly I REALLY needed this I’m currently unable to go to college or really do anything and it hard seeing my friends and siblings able to actually live a normal life. Basically I decided to spend a year out to better my mental and physical health because honestly if I carried on with education I’d be bedridden.. anyways this really helped me get out of the idea that I need other people to be happy. thank you!
someone plz stop me from buying concert tickets
Mood
I love you Dustin 🤍
thank you for making this video Dustin!
just don’t stop Dustin yolo...
I also keep buying concert tickets because I know once I go back home, my parents are not going to let me do anything I enjoy. 😭
unrelated but the color grading and the look of this video is exquisite
y thank you jasmine
the fact that im subscribed to both of you- imso happy i saw your comment-
i’m so happy ur here jasmine!! u guys both inspire me so so much 🦋
My exact thoughts-
Definitely one of the reasons I clicked!
Dustin: I’m drinking ginger tea
No one:
Not even the ginger:
Me: you are what you eat
GOOD ONE
Not even Ed Sheeran:
Lmfaoo
I laughed so hard 😂
His hair 🤣🤣🤣
Being alone is literally so underrated. Some people would learn A LOT about themselves and about others by spending some time alone like ARGH you´re going to have SO many big realizations!
Yess specially that you can see that u own ur self
yhis
During the pandemic I grew so much mentally it's wild
Many years spent with 0 support system effs ya uppp, though. I agree it’s a nice treat but sometimes I want the option idk
I have so many at the age of 20 years old and have been doing some self-relfecfion of my whole entire life and how terrible it always was up until this day as well, smfh.
The pandemic put me in a safe place to finally accept my introversion. It was like the universe realized I needed a break from the years of fears: scared of missing out, scared of not being interesting enough to befriend people, what others would assume if I was by myself, etc. I have a more healthier mindset now and enjoy doing things on my own time and energy, but I can’t deny the events that would have been such much more memorable if I had my loved ones with me
wow you said this perfectly
THIS!!! ME TOO
I think rn I’m experiencing the opposite it’s now that I’m scared of missing out and stuff because I’ve missed out on so much before becauseeee of my introversion. And quarantine made it worse for me because now I don’t even like going outside :/ im trying to be present with the people around me but it’s so hard cause I end up isolating myself again ahhhhh yeah and that’s really good for you :)
this is so comforting to know im not alone
this
“You should be your OWN favorite person” SAY IT LOUDER 4 THE PPL IN THE BACK 🗣. I loved watching this video so much, thank you for taking the time to sit down with us + sharing ur thoughts
no literally i love this
relate so much to going to concerts solo vs with a group!! groups sometimes kill your vibe when they're not as interested in the artist/music as you are, but the shared experience can make the time super memorable! on the other hand, going solo gives you so much freedom to enjoy yourself how you want to but risks becoming a repetitive experience.
exactly !!
exactly what I want to address about being alone.
I went to GOT7 concert oversea alone.
Now I'm looking back, I cant believe I did that. A girl like me, go to Thailand for the first time all by myself, go to GOT7 concert all by myself.
I'm pretty proud of myself hahaha
YOU RULE!!! Honestly tho, priorities. GOT7 is a good investment to make, and it’s a fun story you can tell people now :)
Not gonna lie, I’m proud of you
That’s honestly amazing! That’s something I’d love to, myself. Kudos to u for being able to go through with that!
what you said about wanting a significant other so that you can someone's favorite person hit really close to home for me lol i've always felt the same way about having or wanting to have a "best friend" but in the end i was always everyones second choice so the only person i could really trust with my feelings was myself. this video helped me come to term with a lot of what ive been feeling recently, always love ur videos dustin
Too relatable.....but it hurts more when you're not even the second but the last choice.... because I usually don't have the urge to be with people but then in years I find someone I genuinely like and then I realize that they take me as their last option, so yeah now I trust only myself.
After implementing this mindset I feel so much better and unapologetic. I feel as if I don't really have to be perfect in someone else's eyes💜
This is literally how I’m feeling right now. My sister left for university and hasn’t called me once (I’m always calling her) but we used to be so close. I live in a really small town and there’s literally nothing to do unless you’re a outdoor person and I’m not lol.I just want people to call me and ask how my day was or what I ate etc., the little things. sorry for ranting but yeah I 100% relate to your comments lol.
this is really weird, 20 minutes ago i was like “damn i need to socialise more, or maybe i need to watch a video on youtube called smth fancy like *the art of being by yourself*” perfect timing
Omg, me 5 minutes ago:
@@mel4340 If you want, you can practice talking to people here. I understand what you mean to an extent - I struggle with ordering food at Subway or Starbucks because of the stress of human interaction. I am an extrovert though, so around people that I sort of know, I am good with social interaction. Feel free to chat with me here!
Your energy discussion is just you explaining you’re a Gemini LOL that’s literally your gift, that’s why everyone needs at least one Gemini friend
i am also a gemini and thats so nice that not all people hate us
@@julkawksiazkach lol i love geminis
as a Gemini I approve
@@julkawksiazkach listen I never said I didn’t hate y’all. I constantly contemplate tackling my best friend on a constant basis. Y’all stress me out.. but at least y’all do it in style 😡💕
as a gemini I am agree
this is so needed , I just cut off all my toxic friends lol
omg im so proud of you
Purrrrrr 💅🏾
🎉🎉🎉🎉 congrats
girlboss behavior!!
yay congrats! i know how hard that is but it’s soooo worth it omg
I've been trying so hard to do things alone instead of waiting for someone to come with me to places BUT it is so scary to do things alone as a girl... like deadass I would go to concerts alone but I don't want to be out at night by myself... but aye I'm able to go shopping by myself now!!!!!! I love going to Marshall's alone and shopping HELLA slow going back n forth through the store
This is what I was thinking :( I feel like the concerts I would enjoy going to tend to be late at night in not the greatest parts of town… i don’t know how safe I’d feel
same. i want to go to the movies, but i’d have to walk by myself to get there and it’s so scary
if it makes you feel better, I've been going to concerts alone since I was 16 and the people at the concerts have always watched out for me and have been really nice :) but definitely do whatever you're comfortable with!
I'm so sensitive to other people's energy as well. I think it's because we're empaths. Don't be worried about saying "vibe" too much. If I do not vibe with someone's current vibe, I DONT WANT IT
Same. Same to everything in this comment, yes yes yes.
I want to meet Dustin and just talk about life love and finding peace within for endless hours
how abt u meet eiji first
@@almarejeb5302 🥲🥲🥲
i think this video/discussion was soooo healthy. i recently had a “breakup” with my best friend and i see all these vids on how to “ ✨ enjoy being alone ✨ “ but the reality is that we can’t do it all the time. that’s not independence , it’s isolation. but finding that balance where i CAN be by myself is so so healthy.
needed to hear this thank u
THISSS
I started University in September and oml does this resonate. I 'got used to being alone' a few years ago but man, when the loneliness kicks in and you're crying on the floor yet again it definitely becomes very tiring. It's definitely a balance as you said and sometimes circumstance doesn't let you achieve it properly but it's nice sometimes to just hear that people get you you know? So yeah I guess this video came at the right time for me so thank you. Hopefully better days will come for all of us
Same here i started uni in sep too and i have people around me yet i feel alone and just the other day i cried by myself lying on my bed. Not having someone in the times like this is very sad
@@Mel-nw4tw I hope everything will get better for you in time. Its nice to have people to relate to though because it feels like nobody else is struggling as much as you. I'm sending hugs to wherever you are
@@ingieigni thanx love u ❤️
i’m going through the exact same thing, it’s definitely not easy but i do hope it’ll get better for you soon
i love how spending time alone is becoming less stigmatized because i genuinely enjoy being by myself and doing activities you typically do with other people alone
I’m currently a first year in college and I’m going through the stage of being alone. Honestly been okay with it because I’m able to do what I want without no one judging me but at the same time it would feel nice to have company at times :/ Id love to make friends but it’s honestly hard because people have their friend groups already and I’ve actually been stood up by a few others which definitely left me disappointed. But it gets better hopefully…..
Nice to see someone I can relate to ;-; sometimes I feel like it's only me
Don’t give up, college gives you what you put in. Go to societies on subjects or activities that you like, and go regularly, e ventually you’ll make friends if you strike up conversations with people. People might have groups already, but you can make friends throughout college , it’s different to high school in that way. Obviously only do this if you still want to make friends,if you don’t then that’s fine too, and just be yourself :)
This might feel random, but you should read Normal People. It is painfully honest about the college experience, and how the friends you have are completely different. The loneliness that one of the character’s feel might help you feel less lonely… if that made sense?
Girl same... Im in my second year and I finally NOW have ppl that I actually like and want to be with. It will get better but if it doesn't you can always make it better.
I feel you..but in my case i tend to make better ME time to explore myself more and do things that didn't need many people to deal with, you can focus on your study tho. Build a college friend environment is not easy, but after all you just need to put more confidence in what you do, and let others judge.
it's so hard to find "your people" that's why almost all of us are so independent.. it makes sense
this is the mindset I dream of having. I struggle a lot with social anxiety and going outside is already hard for me, especially alone. tysm for this video, it’s really inspiring
I’m in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in and something I’ve learned in the past year (mostly due to having to be long distance the past four months) I LOVE being alone. I don’t mind my partner wanting alone time. I also love being with my partner. We keep a healthy balance and I appreciate that. Im an introvert learning to be an ambrivert , it’s a process but I’m having to learn to love being around others rather than being alone all the time. I love knowing that I can be dependent on my partner if I need to, but I also love knowing I can be dependent on myself when feeling lonely. If my partner can’t talk (he’s in the military) I tend to go to a journal and write as if im talking to him or a best friend and it genuinely helps the feeling of loneliness. (sorry for the long ramble i hope i made sense) but my point is i completely agree! but it’s also okay to be dependent on a partner!
THAT FROG AND TOAD MUG IS AMAZING I NEED IT
I'm home alone alot,sometimes seeing someone is to much for me. I rather be by myself and I found so many hand craft hobbies and I'm pretty good at them😌 I never found time to calm down and drawing,painting,embroidery and more calms me down and I enjoy my me time☺
i love finding ppl who remind me of myself so much very relatable. i literally hate loneliness it’s the biggest issue this past year for me but i started doing things alone like going out to a restaurant by myself going outside and playing alone like it’s made it easier to be alone and enjoy myself. it’s still hard but working on it
everything u said in this video sums up my thoughts on this topic ur perfect
I feel like I’m watching a tv show from the 70s’ and I’m living for it 👌🏻
About what you said in the end with not making memorable memories by yourself... When I just graduated high school I bought a day-pass for public transport and travelled to two bigger cities in my country. I went by myself because I wanted to enjoy the day the way I want and honestly it was one of the most memorable day I had this year. I went to a city by a lake and just relaxed there, then I got some dessert because nobody can stop me from eating sweets before lunch, then I went to another city to a queer bookstore and the last thing I did was going to a museum.
I think we can make really fun memories ourselves, we just have to consciously decide that that day is ours to manage. It's really freeing to make all decisions yourself and just shut the voice in your head up that's constantly saying "you're such a loser for coming here all alone, everyone's watching you."
I really struggled with being by myself because I'm introverted af and I used to be very self-conscious about everything...
“Maybe people should just NOT fail me” 😹😹 that’s the best quote of the century right there
I'm in my first year of college, and I spend like 98% of my time exclusively with myself. It's hard sometimes, and loneliness is very real, but all this time with myself taught me that there's a huge but very important difference between being lonely and simply being alone. I'm learning so much about myself and am really learning how to enjoy life and myself in my own company. In the grand scheme of things, it's such a liberating experience
hey Dustin, this year I actually found peace by being alone. I had aot of anxiety, sadness and struggle this year and being around people actually made it worse. Being alone can be really healing (yet, it can still feel lonely). From a personal experience, it's better to feel lonely alone, than feeling it while surrounded with people you don't vibe with.
Life is about fases, I was really extroverted for the most part of my life ( i'm just 21 and i'm talking like an old lady) but I just turn into a very shy and introverted person... and it's okay. It helped me grew
I also found peace with being alone this year when I distanced myself from people who were draining me and unwilling to put in the same amount of effort as I into the friendship/relationship. I hope you're doing okay now :-)
“I like to match energy…” I loved the way you phrased this. Compensating/trying to create balance for others energy can truly be exhausting. Thank you for providing such quality content
Honestly agree 1 million percent with this whole video.
Me too!!
This is random but I love the aesthetic of your channel! Everything is so beautiful.
@@lovellegehn tysm!! That means the world 🥺🥺
I went to the movies for the first time alone and watched Last Night in Soho, it was such an interesting experience. I felt like I was listening to what I wanted more than I ever do when I’m with someone else, I’m usually such a giving person, I always hope they’re having a good time
I moved to Paris for my Master's degree and spent a lot of time alone, especially for the first year. I was super lonely and miserable at the time, but I also do have some fond memories of going to parks, libraries, cafes and poetry events by myself. I didn't realise at the time that I was making some fond memories, because while I was doing it I kept longing for a friend to be there by my side. But now I look back on it as a time of learning, and I know that in the future if I'm alone in a new city again I can actually survive it because I've done it before. But I think I am the kind of person who is happier having friends and even being in a relationship. I guess I want to build a balance of both, at some point.
stopped watching that 70s show for this 🙌🏾
random question but what are you watching that 70s show off of? the took it off of netflix :(( lmao
being alone and independent is a great thing to understand how to be content with, yet one should balance this because being vulnerable to other people is important too. with this, I mean trusting others even if that does mean you are disappointed at times because one day someone will come and they won't continuously let you down. if you have to be put in the mindset of 'if i want something done, i have to do it myself' these people won't be able to fully be there for you. everything is temporary, might as well balance the options you do have. Great video by the way , Dustin!
@Shilah Riddell thanks for writing this. i'm the worst at human interactions, like, i don't trust or feel safe around anyone ever, knowing that it's okay to feel that way and it's okay to be let down a lot and yet to not give up on people altogether is really something i've never considered lol I'm writing that down
This came up in my recommended. I didn't really understand why I constantly wanted people around me, I just always hated being alone to a point where I just kept very toxic people around me without really being aware of it. "you don't have to be someone's favorite person you should be your own favorite person" I needed that :') my journey starts now! Thank you v much
When I go out by myself, I do get self self-conscious, but I kinda prefer it, I can take my time and make things at my own rhythm.
this is really interesting because during 2020, i was spending most of my time alone and do whatever i wanna do. I hung out with maybe 1 friend at most (due to covid) and didn't really think it's a big deal but now, being in my 2nd year of university, having met so many amazing people, been to parties etc., i realized that i love socializing.
I still might be an introvert at heart but i'm pretty outgoing and like meeting new people, and even talking to strangers.
as someone that has been really struggling to get to know my own self, i'm extremely happy to have found your channel! learning to be alone and to enjoy your own company is not talked/teached about enough but it's honestly a healing thing
literally perfect timing. i've been thinking about this all day so the video is making me feel understood :))
Speaking of going to movies alone - I really recommend movie discussion clubs!!! I didn’t know anyone when I went there and everyone was so keen to talk that I made some friends right before the movie and had someone to sit with lol
How do you even got there??
@@anymarcos2355 the movie club? It is hosted by uni in my city but it’s free to join for everyone ☺️
i have been dedicating a lot of my time to being alone and finding joy in it. you rlly posted this video at the perfect time.
i love how your so authentic . we need people like you .
no bc u uploaded this right when I needed it the most. ty
this video came at such a time when I needed it, thank you
bruhhhHHHHHH
i could relate to you soososososoos much on this. I'm actually really grateful that i got to the point where i was tired on waiting for other people to match my energy/wants because being along unlocks a wholleeee other side of life. the fact that i can literally shrug my shoulders and still continue to book those concert/movie tickets when my friends say no is the most liberating thing in the entire world. i know for a fact that time with myself will always 1000% be a good time (which is not guaranteed when i go do things with other people) that being that, i feel like enjoying being in solitude helped me appreciate my high quality friendships even more. I no longer force myself to hang out with people who i don't really resonate with because there's no longer this fear of being alone. thus, it makes more room for quality time with those who really matter. it has really simplified my social life where now the majority of social interaction i have is genuinely fulfilling to the heart.
thank you for sharing dustin i love hearing ur thoughts truly and i just saw the other comment and i think i resonate a lot cause I'm also a gemini LMAOO
I'm so grateful that this video came out in this period of my life; I just started going to college, sometimes I have to go there alone cause I don't have friends that have the same classes as me and this scared me a lot cause I live in the country side and I have to go to the big city to follow my classes.
right now I'm more motivated to do things alone and more confident to do things by myself, thanks a lot for this vid dustin :c
thank you dustin, i really needed that. Lately i was getting super lonely bc i cant really talk to people in my class. i'm too shy and too scared to do that and i need to start appreciate my alone time more. bc i need to be my own friend
thank you
this video is literally a daily conversation that i have with myself (immediately subscribed!)
i was just thinking about how much i enjoy spending time by myself so seeing this makes me feel comforted
This is so amazing I love this sm, I'm proud I watched it
Right when I needed something comforting, here you are :) thank you!
the video have gone by so fast, i could listen to your rants all the time, it felt so safe and lovely hearing your thoughts. recently i have fallen for a guy for the first time and i am working on not just waiting around for him but to make plans w/friends or alone. it's interesting seeing how i would push everything aside just to be/write w/him, but as u said i need to prioritize myself first so i'm trying to do that and do some self-care shit. have a lovely rest of your day and thank u for the video :)).
felt that “maybe people should just not fail me” bc like … you grow up and realize that most people are too caught up in their own lives and it hard to find people who genuinely want to spend time with you and vibe at the same wavelength 🙃 having to unlearn expectations because people don’t think and make the same choices as you would make has been my personal shadow work 🥲
i love ur editing style so much, im in love
amazing as always! Dustin I find your videos incredibly soothing I hope you continue sharing parts of your journey with us :)
Hi I found this video literally at the best time. I just found out that my friends were using me and that they didn’t actually like me for who I am so this being here is very useful. Today’s free period felt a little lonely because I just went to the library and studied and listened to music. This video is making me feel like I don’t need to have friends there for me to have a good time.
This was much appreciated💜
been feeling down about always being alone and depending on others, so this is sooo needed rn
my new fav youtube channel!!! you make me feel so safe!!!
this was the first video i've watched of urs and it was lovely! thx for sharing ur thoughts and experience (: i agree being alone can get very lonely, but learning about yourself and discovery of ur mind body and soul is beautiful
Amazing video! I love how you shed light on both loneliness/ glorified independence and dependence/committed relationships as I see a lot of videos talking about how "love doesn't do anything for you, you should focus on your career and stop always wanting love" while I simultaneously have this problem of avoiding things as long as I don't have anybody to do them with.
I really resonated with the things you elaborated on.
Thanks for this video and sharing your thoughts!
thank u so much for this video i quite honestly really needed this!! I've started a part-time job a month ago, so I've been working on Saturdays, sundays & Mondays. it's getting really hard to see my friends since most of them are still in college/school etc. I've been trying to learn how to be alone more, but i feel like I've been putting too much pressure on myself to do things instead of simply... enjoying time and taking my off days one day at a time. thanks again for the vid!! it did me some good to hear those words
I loved this, you spat nothing but facts and in such an eloquent/chill manner !
You articulated my developing love of solitude so well, great video on the beauty and importance of it!
your videos always feel so warm and comforting, like a warm blanket on a rainy day
Thank you for existing ❤️❤️❤️
Bruh Dustin posted this at the perfect time, I feel much better about having many of the same thoughts and I really needed this. Thank you fellow lonely bestie ❤️
"I can only depend on myself because no one cares more about me than me. I can only trust myself to pull through with something because I always know I will pull through for myself", those are some powerful words you said there Dustin
thank you Dustin for your videos~ they're always fun to watch and listen to your voice is so calming :)
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. Also, fabulous hair bestie
I LOVE HOW YOU DISCUSSED EVERYTHING
This is so relatable Dustin and there is no shame in recognizing how disappointed you are in others and GOOD FOR YOU FOR ALWAYS PULLING THRU for others and for yourself, what a star
i 100% understand how you feel especially in terms of people matching your spontaneous energy... i find it super hard to make plans with people so i end up spending a significant amount of time alone (it doesn't help that i also live alone). it's refreshing to see someone who also feels this way! i hope eventually you find a pattern that feels right for you
very much needed, thank you
i just moved to uni a couple months back and even though ive literally made friends for life, sometimes i get envious of all the relationships (platonic and romantic) around me but i learnt that need some time alone sometimes when my friends aren't around. i don't always have to be around people. ive been sleeping for the past 3 days, barely talking to anyone and today i woke up and forced myself to take a walk alone and rn i just made myself some food and watched this video. the timing was perfect. i felt safe being w myself today finally. but i cant be alone all the time either. i finally met my friends and called some of them from back home. its so important to maintain a balance and still feel comfortable with yourself and w others. tysm dustin for being honest about this. you literally read my mind, ily
I'm literally in that moment of my life, have stoped doing things just cuz my friends were not available at the time and i didn't want it to do things alone, but now I'm reflecting on that and trying to do things by myself too, thank u 4 doing this
this is the first video of yours that i’ve ever seen and i instantly subscribed
THIS- this is the person that can explain my feelings in a video. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL
Your videos are really comforting to me. Idk why but I relate a lot, despite of not being independent yet and not being an adult.
It’s so nice to see you again : D
I related so much to this. Thanks for not making me feel like I'm the only one that feels this way. ♥️
This is the first time I’ve ever seen you and I already know that I love you. Your vibe is just amazing
I'm feel both freaked out and comforted by how much i relate to everything said in this video. I've been thinking about this for a while, i don't want to depend on others to do things i'm interested in anymore, this is a sign 🌟
i love your mug, and your hair, and your vibe!!! this is the first video i’ve seen if yours but i immediately subscribed :D
omg i knew i was drawn to you for a reason. why are we so similar. everything you said was spot on .those have been my thoughts too for a long while . you said everything ive been thinking that i could not put into words . it was great to hear this from another's perspective too . love this thank you sm for this video .its given me alot to think about and work through. lots of love from Australia xx you are amazing :)
Thank you I really needed this❤️
Literally the first time I’ve heard someone else who has just as much energy as I do and is willing to go things spontaneously + do things alone! 🙏🏼 found you randomly on my YT feed, and I’m so glad I did haha
mmm i really love the turn you took at the end of the video!! like YES being alone & comfy with urself and prioritizing hanging w urself & loving urself is sooooo essential!!! but also still making time for the folks u love and investing in good relationships is what its all about baby!!! it's such a key balance. i've found it easiest to receive love from others when i can love myself, too, so thats something i'm really tryna do out here!!!
Really felt the part around 12:30 where you mentioned not having anyone to discuss the movie with after watching it alone--- my biggest hang-up is always that I'm generally fine doing things alone, but it all feels SO pointless because I can't share any of my happiness with anyone. Like sure I enjoyed the movie, but it's like you said--I don't remember anything outside of precious time spent with other people, so any kind of joy I might feel on my own just doesn't seem as meaningful. Not sure how to kick that train of thought out of my head, haha, but I really appreciate that you echoed my feelings!
this came up in my recommended and your energy is so wholesome and the video was so enjoyable i immediately subscribed
literally TRUEEE !! being alone is a good thing !! we’re meant to love ourselves the most and do things for ourselves !!
your mug is so nostalgic i lovedddd reading Frog and Toad
i don't usually comment on videos but i genuinely don't think i've ever related to a video this much. over the past few years i've realized how unreliable people can be and how i shouldn't let that hold me back from doing the things i want to do. i am also a very spontaneous person so when i randomly ask friends if they want to do something and i always get a no for an answer it's discouraging. i want to learn to depend on myself more. watching this video really made me feel understood and has inspired me to get past this. thank you
I really enjoyed this video because it represented perfectly how I'm feeling at the moment.Currently in an exchange program really really far from home and have faced loneliness becuase of expectations that I have put on other people and had to force myself to get out by myself to not be just at home all the time. It is indeed really refreshing and empowering to experiment the art of being alone.
Looking forward more content and stay safe ^^
new to this channel, loved the energy from the start made me smile and as soon as he mentioned phoebe bridgers i was sold.
This came at the perfect time. I literally had the epiphany like a week ago that I let my happiness depend on other people too much! I think spending more time alone will help me not only learn more about myself but also be less apologetic and indecisive, which I feel can only make my time with other people less stressful and more authentic.
Dustin!! omg this was the first video of yours that i watched and irelated SO MUCH with the things that you said. i wish i had a friend like you, bc you put into words many of my thoughts
I loved the way you explained being alone. i can literally relate to everything you said. i always ask my self am i not enough to for myself, can't i enjoy doing things alone. so i was very happy to watch this content : ]
Honestly I REALLY needed this I’m currently unable to go to college or really do anything and it hard seeing my friends and siblings able to actually live a normal life.
Basically I decided to spend a year out to better my mental and physical health because honestly if I carried on with education I’d be bedridden.. anyways this really helped me get out of the idea that I need other people to be happy. thank you!