0:36 hi Nikki! It’s so hard to teach my kids because I have to teach my husband as well! He’s ego is so over his head! He’s telling me “you do what you think is best, I do my own thing” I’m crying now, this is so hard! Maybe we need a therapist!!
Hello! Therapy could be a solution, but it sounds like you both have different visions for your family. Creating a united family vision helps get both of you on the same page since you are both working towards the same goal. That would be a great first step. If you'd like to go deeper into family vision and other skills and principles I teach, you could look into my online TSG Parenting Course. Here's the link, if you're interested: teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ I hope this helps!
😊Amazing information! I just found you today and have subscribed. I hear a lot of skills and techniques but I wanted to know do you also teach on emotions and the root behind the reason why the child is displaying a certain behavior?
Yes I do! I have a whole class on it call "The Value and Mastery of Emotions" and talk about it often in my Support Group and my in-person trainings. Here are a few links to help you out: teachingselfgovernment.com/parenting-mastery/ teachingselfgovernment.com/the-value-and-mastery-of-emotions/ teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
7:06 Hi Nicholeen, how would you proceed with a 4 (almost 5) year old who is spiraling out of control and you've given them a calming instruction such as "I need you to take 3 deep breaths" and the child has begun to spiral further from the instruction and says "I can't take a deep breath" or "I don't know how" and then starts pretending to hyperventilate? We've calmly modeled and we pre-teach deep breathing for her and this feels like a manipulation tactic in the moment but I feel like everything we've tried just makes it worse when it comes to giving her that instruction. She will say "help me take a deep breath" and if I try that then she says "I can't hear you" and then everything intensifies and then she's throwing herself onto the floor and completely out of control. Help 😅
Great question! The first thing to tell you is to not engage in anything they say when they are out of control and emotional like that. I have a couple of phrases I alternate through while they are on the calm down spot: "It seems like you want to tell me something. I want to know what that is, but we have to choose to be calm first, then we can talk." "We can't talk about anything until you're calm." "Let's take a deep breath (then model it/do it with them in the moment)." I don't ever respond to the things they're saying to me if I can clearly tell they aren't calm. I do, however, take note of what they're saying so that we can talk about it when they ARE calm. That way, they know they were heard, but needed to get calm first. Here are a couple of my videos that go a bit more in-depth on the topic: ua-cam.com/video/7jJPZ1Pijy0/v-deo.html&pp=ygUdbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2FsbSBkb3duIHNwb3Q%3D ua-cam.com/video/NBiEuXy1AoM/v-deo.html&pp=ygUdbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2FsbSBkb3duIHNwb3Q%3D I hope that helps!
What I’m struggling with is it all seems like a lot at once…. I have little so I feel like I loose them because I’m saying so much. Is there a way u can do a video of more step by step introduction to this process like you would teach a 4-5 yr old. I have all ur books and the kids books but it’s just a lot and calming down and following instructions is the big issue with my oldest… we have been working on this for over a year but I feel like we are still loosing him with all the steps and words… I would really love a more step by step video geared towards talking with younger kids❤️
I don't know if I'll get to doing a video about it, but the faster way to get an answer would be to submit this discussion to my weekly Support Group calls. Here's a link with more information about it, if you're interested: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
@@TeachingSelfGovernment i also have a question about the workbooks for family meeting/couples meeting/ mentorship ect. I’m looking to by them but i’m not sure exactly whats in them. We r a non-Religious family and am wondering if religious goals are a big section to the workbooks or if its something thats not a big part of it or if u have a secular version. With my oldest hitting 5 i think family meetings sound beautiful to bring to out family. My husband and i both grew up with very different and unhealthy families so we are looking for some healthy structures to guide our family. Also thanks for responding to so many of our questions❤️
She’s teaching a research-based system that entities use to work with trauma kids, etc., so it applies to everyone and the audio book is not overly focused on religion, it’s for everyone!
Hi Akram! I have lots of videos that focus on teenagers and handling their behaviors. Here are some links to a few of them: ua-cam.com/video/Ny63dhp700M/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/NbNVkSqucPo/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/M5YuDqSMxB8/v-deo.html ua-cam.com/video/39vfEtdMp64/v-deo.html Hopefully these help you!
I like the fact that you took time out and pointed out the videos to refer to rather than mentioning there are some pls go and watch.. This really to me shows you are honestly putting in effort and not just holding on all just for your paid classes. Really thank you.
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
0:36 hi Nikki! It’s so hard to teach my kids because I have to teach my husband as well! He’s ego is so over his head! He’s telling me “you do what you think is best, I do my own thing” I’m crying now, this is so hard! Maybe we need a therapist!!
Hello! Therapy could be a solution, but it sounds like you both have different visions for your family. Creating a united family vision helps get both of you on the same page since you are both working towards the same goal. That would be a great first step. If you'd like to go deeper into family vision and other skills and principles I teach, you could look into my online TSG Parenting Course. Here's the link, if you're interested: teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/
I hope this helps!
The pre-teaching has changed a daily power struggle I was having with my 6YO. Thank you So much!
I'm so glad! Pre-teaching is super important to success and skills training.
Thank you. This is SO GREAT!!!! ❤️👍❤️👍
You are so welcome!
😊Amazing information! I just found you today and have subscribed. I hear a lot of skills and techniques but I wanted to know do you also teach on emotions and the root behind the reason why the child is displaying a certain behavior?
Yes I do! I have a whole class on it call "The Value and Mastery of Emotions" and talk about it often in my Support Group and my in-person trainings. Here are a few links to help you out:
teachingselfgovernment.com/parenting-mastery/
teachingselfgovernment.com/the-value-and-mastery-of-emotions/
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope this helps!
7:06 Hi Nicholeen, how would you proceed with a 4 (almost 5) year old who is spiraling out of control and you've given them a calming instruction such as "I need you to take 3 deep breaths" and the child has begun to spiral further from the instruction and says "I can't take a deep breath" or "I don't know how" and then starts pretending to hyperventilate? We've calmly modeled and we pre-teach deep breathing for her and this feels like a manipulation tactic in the moment but I feel like everything we've tried just makes it worse when it comes to giving her that instruction. She will say "help me take a deep breath" and if I try that then she says "I can't hear you" and then everything intensifies and then she's throwing herself onto the floor and completely out of control. Help 😅
Great question! The first thing to tell you is to not engage in anything they say when they are out of control and emotional like that. I have a couple of phrases I alternate through while they are on the calm down spot: "It seems like you want to tell me something. I want to know what that is, but we have to choose to be calm first, then we can talk." "We can't talk about anything until you're calm." "Let's take a deep breath (then model it/do it with them in the moment)." I don't ever respond to the things they're saying to me if I can clearly tell they aren't calm. I do, however, take note of what they're saying so that we can talk about it when they ARE calm. That way, they know they were heard, but needed to get calm first.
Here are a couple of my videos that go a bit more in-depth on the topic:
ua-cam.com/video/7jJPZ1Pijy0/v-deo.html&pp=ygUdbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2FsbSBkb3duIHNwb3Q%3D
ua-cam.com/video/NBiEuXy1AoM/v-deo.html&pp=ygUdbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2FsbSBkb3duIHNwb3Q%3D
I hope that helps!
I am going to do this
Yes! I'm so excited for you!
What I’m struggling with is it all seems like a lot at once…. I have little so I feel like I loose them because I’m saying so much. Is there a way u can do a video of more step by step introduction to this process like you would teach a 4-5 yr old. I have all ur books and the kids books but it’s just a lot and calming down and following instructions is the big issue with my oldest… we have been working on this for over a year but I feel like we are still loosing him with all the steps and words… I would really love a more step by step video geared towards talking with younger kids❤️
I don't know if I'll get to doing a video about it, but the faster way to get an answer would be to submit this discussion to my weekly Support Group calls. Here's a link with more information about it, if you're interested: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope this helps!
@@TeachingSelfGovernment i also have a question about the workbooks for family meeting/couples meeting/ mentorship ect. I’m looking to by them but i’m not sure exactly whats in them. We r a non-Religious family and am wondering if religious goals are a big section to the workbooks or if its something thats not a big part of it or if u have a secular version. With my oldest hitting 5 i think family meetings sound beautiful to bring to out family. My husband and i both grew up with very different and unhealthy families so we are looking for some healthy structures to guide our family. Also thanks for responding to so many of our questions❤️
@@jenniferrush8231 I got the audio book of Raising a Family United and it helped a lot! There’s a lot in there on the meetings.
She’s teaching a research-based system that entities use to work with trauma kids, etc., so it applies to everyone and the audio book is not overly focused on religion, it’s for everyone!
Hi Nicholeen, I have 16 years old son I don’t know how can deal with him can you help me please?
Hi Akram! I have lots of videos that focus on teenagers and handling their behaviors. Here are some links to a few of them:
ua-cam.com/video/Ny63dhp700M/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/NbNVkSqucPo/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/M5YuDqSMxB8/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/39vfEtdMp64/v-deo.html
Hopefully these help you!
I like the fact that you took time out and pointed out the videos to refer to rather than mentioning there are some pls go and watch.. This really to me shows you are honestly putting in effort and not just holding on all just for your paid classes. Really thank you.
🎉
How help a teenage with Extreme physical aggressive
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too!
If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope this helps!
Wont the extra chores make them hate chores in general?
How to help a teenage with bipolar disorder
Try cutting out gluten and dairy from their diet. Focus on vegetables, beans, and lean proteins
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too!
If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope this helps!
How a teenage with learning disability
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too!
If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope this helps!