I can admit that there is no actual help for someone who attempts suicide. i tried on November 13th 2021. It made me realizes that there isn't any help.
I've had this issue when it comes to fathers of babies of miscarries/stillbirths. There is only support for the mother. as a father, I was left to deal with it alone, which led to suicide attempts.. I need to be more like you and MAKE the resources for others that are going through what I went through.
@@stancates238 That's very true in some cases. I'm 33 and going through cancer for the 2nd time. I also have a severely special needs 4 year old daughter who's completely immobile. I'm Uninsured because I cant afford insurance. I cant work because of my daughter needing me and also my other 3 children as well as being to deal to drive or even stand for very long. My husband works so hard every single day but it's never enough. I was denied for medicaid or any help at all as far as government benefits. I saw people getting help all around but not me. My husband worked so because of that we weren't considered poor ENOUGH to get help. We were told if he quit his job I could receive medicaid. But if he did that how would we afford our rent and car insurance, gas, food, clothes, diapers etc. So if you have income you cant get help. I've always seen things about fundraisers for cancer patients and cancer help. I've myself donated to fund raisers and hospitals in the past that ,"help cancer patients" . Now as one myself I can tell you I've not received any help at all. None.... I've cried and begged. My husbands broken because he does all he can but I still cant afford even half my medicine I need. We are almost a million dollars in debt due ONLY to chemo and radiation and cancer appointments. I have to skip much needed appointments and medicine because we csnt afford it. I wish there was something I could do. It makes me feel absolutely guilty because I'm sick. Not just once but now I'm sick again. I feel like a burden . My poor husbands depressed and feels so alone. I pray we will heal from this and be able to help others struggling in so many ways. There has to be a better way for those in need mentally and physically. Theres no excuse for the U.S.A to not help its own people.
This happened to me and it cost me almost $2,000 in hospital bills after insurance. I trusted those cops. They said that I would only be gone for 2 hours but they took me for 3 days.
Finally, someone who has the compassion to tell it like it is and help others coping with this very real part of life we all try and hide. Wonderful advice.
As someone who has attempted, I tuned out when you said, "Or a gym membership." How dare you suggest that regular trips to the gym are the solution to what is ailing those of us who struggle with suicidal thoughts?
The comments on this video make me very sad; how can people comment on a video about attempted suicide with disdain for the subject? I never comment on videos, but I feel it's necessary here. My father attempted when I had just turned 13 years old. It was a week before Christmas, and finals week at both my school and my sister's. He shot himself in the head and we arrived about 30 minutes after he had done so. Neither my sister nor myself saw the scene, but it was enough to leave a lasting impression on us. For the next couple of months, we faced judgmental looks, comments of "I hope he gets better! God has a plan for your family..." Big woah, right? When he ended up surviving and coming home, I started to look for comfort in people around me. How should I feel? What should I say? To my current horror, I found absolutely nothing - the people around me told me that I should be grateful he was alive. I should be happy, I should blah blah blah. I stumbled across this video today on accident and finally realized that I am not alone... but seeing suicidal ideation on a video about support completely terrifies me. If someone like my 13 year old self came across this video and read the comments, it might undermine her idea of the information this video offers. Just as suicidal disdain is harmful, idealization is just as bad. Please watch what you are saying and where! There is a time and place for everything, and this comment section should be for support and information!
A little heads up : it is incorrect to talk about an "unsuccessful" suicide attempt, because it implies that death is a success. It is enough to call it a "suicide attemp", because when you say "attempt" it implies it did not bring to death :)
Thank you so much for this. From being a survivor or attemptor, and to having lost many and have to learned how to try to help the loved ones who had attempted or didn’t make it. We are actually working on a project with this and if you do ever see this, please reach out
I didn't think a person could pray for death every day for a year. I used to pray for a miracle. After losing nearly 50 lbs in just over 4 months I knew it wasn't in the cards. I'm a pretty tough guy. I've had some jaw dropping physical injuries in my life and never shed a tear. I've cried non stop for 11 months. I'm just tired. I've tried every kind of therapy and medicine and meditation and prayer. For me, there's no cure for the grief of the loss of person I've loved most in this life. Listening to all these talks is simply confirming the generic mental Healthcare in this country, the fact I won't be missed, and that I've held on longer than I should have. Some people don't have anyone. Others lost the only person they had. People are depressed for many reasons. We lump grief, emotional trauma, lack of self worth, hoplessness, people with chemical imbalances that can't produce the necessary stuff to be happy, and people with all kinds of mental and physical illnesses that have given up after trying everything into 1 bucket. Depression. It needs to change.
While I cry tears of sadness for where I am at the moment I wish this video had 1 million likes, my god 1 billion likes and shares. Attempted suicide is more profound an indicator than we will ever know.
Be happy bro :) I am surprised that a lot of people feel the same way and think with the same words my God! I am wondering why people think and express and feel the same way. For Instance when she said the suicidal thoughts is " People will not miss me" so the suicidal ideology is not see him self worthy and lacking his self value in the perspective of others. while all people who suffered from suicidal thoughts will hate on themselves. so maybe we need to change perspectives to change moods to live a more satisfied life. what do you think?
How come we learn the most irrelevant dribble in school but not how to support each other and treat each other with a basic amount of humanity, compassion and understanding?
The system was built broken. We must come together. People need to learn healthy boundaries from infancy, but it can't be taught if the adult's needed to teach don't have cognitive understanding of it themselves. Compassion and empathy.
It's the 9 year anniversary of my Father's Suicide Attempt & I still struggle every September. Also, found out 4 days ago my father has cancer. Why?? I'm just confused. Please pray for me.
maybe write him a little note letting him know youre so happy hes still here and make him a little cake or something . there doesnt have to be an occasion
I worked on a help line and I know that there are sincere people who try their best. However Medication Talk Therapy and people with good intentions are sadly ineffective for a lot of people. Of course we must continue to act as best we can. Some of the supports are woefully bad! Let's hope medical breakthroughs may be soon available. You are doing a great job communicating .
Absolutely ask for help. But when those organisations that are set up to help people with disabilities, with mental illness and thoughts of suicide keep turning you away because you don’t meet one criteria or another or the list is too long or whatever else excuse they come up with (and I’ve heard many), then that feeling of despair overwhelms you, that feeling of hope is drained. My psychiatrist asks me why I want to die. I waved my arms to gesture around me and asked him why would I want to live. He laughed. But I was serious. Perhaps the more poignant question would be: what are you going to do to help me stay alive.
I'm glad you have a companion, but please remember there are so many more that have never experienced love, or a home, or a human who really cares. There will be countless creatures that would be blessed to share in that same unspoken oath; to enjoy love in exchange for sharing your life (which means needing to continue your life for the sake of theirs). I have ankylosing spondylitis- I'm in pain around the clock, daily. I also rely on my animals to keep me invested... in my case, a horse who thinks he's a dog (he routinely hangs out in my living room!), and a squirrel. I don't want to consider where I would be without them.
I am currently suicidal. This is too true when I self reported long ago for this it was because I wanted help. I got cuffed and CPS was going to try to take my son when they found out I was taking antidepressants. I will not report again. I keep trying to get through to myself but my self hates me. I am currently binging these and it is strangely theraputic.
Being treated with total cruelty over and over and over again can cause suicidal thoughts especially when no-one would believe what's been going on. Psychological abuse and isolation (part of ongoing DV) is still not spotted. And it goes down to the kids who then become abusers. Learned from the father.
With all due respect, as someone who has has many unsuccessful attempts, nobody cares, especially when you're already a marginalised individual with no belonging.
I disagree with her statement of "treatment cost is minimal". Yes maybe it is less than the "cost" of a suicide attempt, but costs for medication and/or therapy are inaccessible to too many people in our world.
That means you were surrounded by people with no emotional intelligence. They just pretended nothing had happened because they're unable to cope with it themselves, or they're scared they'd make it worse for you by mentioning it. You're a treasure ❤ That's all I know.
I seriously doubt you or your family could not get help....and I am speaking as a mom who lost her youngest daughter to suicide last year March 25th 2020. My nephew has attempted 3 times, he is in good care. My daughter attempted 5 times as a teen who at that time was a herion addict and hated herself. Fast forward to 13 years later, sober, but would not reach out for help, and believed she and her husband could make herself better. This was her 2nd attempt, however this one she was determined to end her pain. She planned it for 3 months and was ok as per her notes, thought it would be better for her husband she was gone. What is left is 3 older siblings in pain and disbelief and me in therapy every week for 15 months. I don't know what state you live in, after every attempt she was committed to psych and then rehab, no question. Trust me insurance has it's way with all treatment
4-5 months I was told. That's the shortest amount of time I can get into a new psychologist and therapy because nobody is taking new patients. Not a one. So...you either commit yourself and lose your job and probably family and compound your problems so that you can get medicated to the point of Catatonia and then treated one of 2 ways: 1, like you're seeking attention and you're an inconvenience, or 2.) A potentially violent inmate in a jailhouse that can't be let out of someone's sight and has the intelligence level of a 5th grader. It's more harmful than it is helpful. It's tragic and deplorable how we treat adults in this country who struggle with mental health and hopelessness...especially when they tell you that it'll be almost a half a year b4 you can get mental Healthcare with any amount of dignity. I'll keep you in my prayers, and I understand what you and your daughter went through.
@@vincec.202 Damn, you're spot on with all of that. Couldn't have said it better. That's why I find it helpful just to trudge through the disaster called life, and do what I can to make my kids happy. I've almost forgotten what true happiness feels like, but I do enjoy seeing my 4 little ones living their lives and doing what they love. Maybe once they're grown, I'll have things straightened out so that my wife can be comfortable. That way I can do what's necessary and not worry about leaving them in a bad situation.
I have been hospitalied for sucudal intendacy and thw place dud not think i was sucicidal so my thougjts one day when im depressed enough i will do the altamit and prove them wrong.
I can admit that there is no actual help for someone who attempts suicide. i tried on November 13th 2021. It made me realizes that there isn't any help.
Depends. But I agree that it can be hard to find it. Did you have an outside reason that makes life terrible?
@@AlexDiesTrying Applied for over 100 jobs and I didn't get a call back. I disagree with the if you have money problems you have no problems.
Your still here tho❤
@@DreamNLego. I'm trying to stick around.
@@davidsegura3274 ❤️ I’m glad, keep going. It isn’t easy, but your making it everyday and that is strength. U may not see it, but it’s there.
This talk is also under-rated. Kudos to Carr for all her efforts
I've had this issue when it comes to fathers of babies of miscarries/stillbirths. There is only support for the mother. as a father, I was left to deal with it alone, which led to suicide attempts.. I need to be more like you and MAKE the resources for others that are going through what I went through.
I thought there were resources like that for both fathers and mothers. Wow!
@@vanessar.6085 There are hardly resources for anyone in any situation in the US.
@@stancates238 That's very true in some cases. I'm 33 and going through cancer for the 2nd time. I also have a severely special needs 4 year old daughter who's completely immobile. I'm Uninsured because I cant afford insurance. I cant work because of my daughter needing me and also my other 3 children as well as being to deal to drive or even stand for very long. My husband works so hard every single day but it's never enough. I was denied for medicaid or any help at all as far as government benefits. I saw people getting help all around but not me. My husband worked so because of that we weren't considered poor ENOUGH to get help. We were told if he quit his job I could receive medicaid. But if he did that how would we afford our rent and car insurance, gas, food, clothes, diapers etc. So if you have income you cant get help. I've always seen things about fundraisers for cancer patients and cancer help. I've myself donated to fund raisers and hospitals in the past that ,"help cancer patients" . Now as one myself I can tell you I've not received any help at all. None.... I've cried and begged. My husbands broken because he does all he can but I still cant afford even half my medicine I need. We are almost a million dollars in debt due ONLY to chemo and radiation and cancer appointments. I have to skip much needed appointments and medicine because we csnt afford it. I wish there was something I could do. It makes me feel absolutely guilty because I'm sick. Not just once but now I'm sick again. I feel like a burden . My poor husbands depressed and feels so alone. I pray we will heal from this and be able to help others struggling in so many ways. There has to be a better way for those in need mentally and physically. Theres no excuse for the U.S.A to not help its own people.
..is there really support for the mother though? maybe you should reach out .
10:50 SO ON POINT. I will never self-report again. It was traumatizing.
This happened to me and it cost me almost $2,000 in hospital bills after insurance. I trusted those cops. They said that I would only be gone for 2 hours but they took me for 3 days.
People only care when it’s too late.
Finally, someone who has the compassion to tell it like it is and help others coping with this very real part of life we all try and hide. Wonderful advice.
Do you know how we can gain access to these resources?
I went to a treatment center and still left without help.
I didn’t self report because I didn’t want cops coming to my house
Jesus..was..there..in
Icu..when..intinayed
Iv..out..of..my..neck
Hooked..up.
Eberywere..he..was
There..in..mentle
Hospitle..to..jesus
Can..be..found..any
Were..so
.dont..lell...he..wont
Tough..you..24..7
Hes..there..ask
As someone who has attempted, I tuned out when you said, "Or a gym membership." How dare you suggest that regular trips to the gym are the solution to what is ailing those of us who struggle with suicidal thoughts?
The comments on this video make me very sad; how can people comment on a video about attempted suicide with disdain for the subject? I never comment on videos, but I feel it's necessary here. My father attempted when I had just turned 13 years old. It was a week before Christmas, and finals week at both my school and my sister's. He shot himself in the head and we arrived about 30 minutes after he had done so. Neither my sister nor myself saw the scene, but it was enough to leave a lasting impression on us. For the next couple of months, we faced judgmental looks, comments of "I hope he gets better! God has a plan for your family..."
Big woah, right?
When he ended up surviving and coming home, I started to look for comfort in people around me. How should I feel? What should I say? To my current horror, I found absolutely nothing - the people around me told me that I should be grateful he was alive. I should be happy, I should blah blah blah. I stumbled across this video today on accident and finally realized that I am not alone... but seeing suicidal ideation on a video about support completely terrifies me. If someone like my 13 year old self came across this video and read the comments, it might undermine her idea of the information this video offers. Just as suicidal disdain is harmful, idealization is just as bad.
Please watch what you are saying and where! There is a time and place for everything, and this comment section should be for support and information!
Thank you
Thank you for creating this video. I too found it difficult to access resources related to an unsuccessful suicide attempt. Well done.
A little heads up : it is incorrect to talk about an "unsuccessful" suicide attempt, because it implies that death is a success. It is enough to call it a "suicide attemp", because when you say "attempt" it implies it did not bring to death :)
"Like we didnt already live there." damn!
agree, i didn't get help from loved ones but from only one classfellow
Thank you so much for this. From being a survivor or attemptor, and to having lost many and have to learned how to try to help the loved ones who had attempted or didn’t make it.
We are actually working on a project with this and if you do ever see this, please reach out
This was one of the best TEDTalks I’ve ever heard absolutely fabulous you did a wonderful job
I didn't think a person could pray for death every day for a year. I used to pray for a miracle. After losing nearly 50 lbs in just over 4 months I knew it wasn't in the cards. I'm a pretty tough guy. I've had some jaw dropping physical injuries in my life and never shed a tear. I've cried non stop for 11 months. I'm just tired. I've tried every kind of therapy and medicine and meditation and prayer. For me, there's no cure for the grief of the loss of person I've loved most in this life. Listening to all these talks is simply confirming the generic mental Healthcare in this country, the fact I won't be missed, and that I've held on longer than I should have. Some people don't have anyone. Others lost the only person they had. People are depressed for many reasons. We lump grief, emotional trauma, lack of self worth, hoplessness, people with chemical imbalances that can't produce the necessary stuff to be happy, and people with all kinds of mental and physical illnesses that have given up after trying everything into 1 bucket. Depression. It needs to change.
I feel exactly the same
It's terribly hard finding new people when you're at rock bottom, having no one. I wonder how much support you need in order to win this.
Go..to..the..word..of.
God..you..will..find
Hope..to..go..a..little
Firther..take..one
Step..at..a..time..then
Dont..quite..l.find..going..to..church.sing
.gods..prases.hes..there..shout..it
Let..the..the..hevans
Know.dont..let..depresioon..win
I'm so sorry to read this. Hope you're doing better.
While I cry tears of sadness for where I am at the moment I wish this video had 1 million likes, my god 1 billion likes and shares. Attempted suicide is more profound an indicator than we will ever know.
Be happy bro :) I am surprised that a lot of people feel the same way and think with the same words my God! I am wondering why people think and express and feel the same way. For Instance when she said the suicidal thoughts is " People will not miss me" so the suicidal ideology is not see him self worthy and lacking his self value in the perspective of others. while all people who suffered from suicidal thoughts will hate on themselves. so maybe we need to change perspectives to change moods to live a more satisfied life. what do you think?
How come we learn the most irrelevant dribble in school but not how to support each other and treat each other with a basic amount of humanity, compassion and understanding?
How come??? It's because humanity has not evolved to be truly empathetic and compassionate. Very SELF CENTRED species for the most part!!!
The system was built broken. We must come together. People need to learn healthy boundaries from infancy, but it can't be taught if the adult's needed to teach don't have cognitive understanding of it themselves. Compassion and empathy.
Precisely.
Thank you for this beautiful talk.
It's the 9 year anniversary of my Father's Suicide Attempt & I still struggle every September. Also, found out 4 days ago my father has cancer. Why?? I'm just confused. Please pray for me.
maybe write him a little note letting him know youre so happy hes still here and make him a little cake or something . there doesnt have to be an occasion
The system is wrong instead of helping people they want to accuse them of committing suicides.
Every person in the world should hear this.
I worked on a help line and I know that there are sincere people who try their best.
However Medication Talk Therapy and people with good intentions are sadly ineffective for a lot of people.
Of course we must continue to act as best we can.
Some of the supports are woefully bad! Let's hope medical breakthroughs may be soon available.
You are doing a great job communicating .
Absolutely ask for help. But when those organisations that are set up to help people with disabilities, with mental illness and thoughts of suicide keep turning you away because you don’t meet one criteria or another or the list is too long or whatever else excuse they come up with (and I’ve heard many), then that feeling of despair overwhelms you, that feeling of hope is drained.
My psychiatrist asks me why I want to die. I waved my arms to gesture around me and asked him why would I want to live.
He laughed. But I was serious. Perhaps the more poignant question would be: what are you going to do to help me stay alive.
P.s. the dog thing ..... That's the only reason why I haven't done it for the last 12 years .he goes I go .
I'm glad you have a companion, but please remember there are so many more that have never experienced love, or a home, or a human who really cares. There will be countless creatures that would be blessed to share in that same unspoken oath; to enjoy love in exchange for sharing your life (which means needing to continue your life for the sake of theirs).
I have ankylosing spondylitis- I'm in pain around the clock, daily. I also rely on my animals to keep me invested... in my case, a horse who thinks he's a dog (he routinely hangs out in my living room!), and a squirrel. I don't want to consider where I would be without them.
I am currently suicidal. This is too true when I self reported long ago for this it was because I wanted help. I got cuffed and CPS was going to try to take my son when they found out I was taking antidepressants. I will not report again. I keep trying to get through to myself but my self hates me. I am currently binging these and it is strangely theraputic.
I just don’t know how much longer I can keep going…
Being treated with total cruelty over and over and over again can cause suicidal thoughts especially when no-one would believe what's been going on. Psychological abuse and isolation (part of ongoing DV) is still not spotted. And it goes down to the kids who then become abusers. Learned from the father.
The suicide hotline actually made it worse for me. All the response we’re scripted even tho it was a real person
They helped me. I texted instead of call.
With all due respect, as someone who has has many unsuccessful attempts, nobody cares, especially when you're already a marginalised individual with no belonging.
I was told “there’s probably a group for it. There’s groups for everything else” by a hospital social worker
Where is the website talked about on this video!???
what's the name of the website?
Thank you ❤️
I disagree with her statement of "treatment cost is minimal". Yes maybe it is less than the "cost" of a suicide attempt, but costs for medication and/or therapy are inaccessible to too many people in our world.
I attempted and after I got out no one brought it up or even asked if I was okay
I know I'm just a stranger on the Internet, but I do care - are you okay?
That means you were surrounded by people with no emotional intelligence. They just pretended nothing had happened because they're unable to cope with it themselves, or they're scared they'd make it worse for you by mentioning it. You're a treasure ❤ That's all I know.
I seriously doubt you or your family could not get help....and I am speaking as a mom who lost her youngest daughter to suicide last year March 25th 2020. My nephew has attempted 3 times, he is in good care. My daughter attempted 5 times as a teen who at that time was a herion addict and hated herself. Fast forward to 13 years later, sober, but would not reach out for help, and believed she and her husband could make herself better. This was her 2nd attempt, however this one she was determined to end her pain. She planned it for 3 months and was ok as per her notes, thought it would be better for her husband she was gone. What is left is 3 older siblings in pain and disbelief and me in therapy every week for 15 months. I don't know what state you live in, after every attempt she was committed to psych and then rehab, no question. Trust me insurance has it's way with all treatment
4-5 months I was told. That's the shortest amount of time I can get into a new psychologist and therapy because nobody is taking new patients. Not a one. So...you either commit yourself and lose your job and probably family and compound your problems so that you can get medicated to the point of Catatonia and then treated one of 2 ways: 1, like you're seeking attention and you're an inconvenience, or 2.) A potentially violent inmate in a jailhouse that can't be let out of someone's sight and has the intelligence level of a 5th grader. It's more harmful than it is helpful. It's tragic and deplorable how we treat adults in this country who struggle with mental health and hopelessness...especially when they tell you that it'll be almost a half a year b4 you can get mental Healthcare with any amount of dignity. I'll keep you in my prayers, and I understand what you and your daughter went through.
@@vincec.202 Damn, you're spot on with all of that. Couldn't have said it better. That's why I find it helpful just to trudge through the disaster called life, and do what I can to make my kids happy. I've almost forgotten what true happiness feels like, but I do enjoy seeing my 4 little ones living their lives and doing what they love. Maybe once they're grown, I'll have things straightened out so that my wife can be comfortable. That way I can do what's necessary and not worry about leaving them in a bad situation.
I have been hospitalied for sucudal intendacy and thw place dud not think i was sucicidal so my thougjts one day when im depressed enough i will do the altamit and prove them wrong.
🕊
Build inner strength and develop unconditional love for self and all life by singing HU daily. Search how to sing HU the Sound of Soul.
The talk is just noise when someone is that close. I don’t mean to be rude.