Why Everyone Hates Wizards

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  • Опубліковано 14 чер 2024
  • ew.
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    Music:
    Kevin Macleod - Where am I
    Kevin Macleod - Prelude No 2
    Tracktribe - A night alone
  • Фільми й анімація

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3 тис.

  • @apple10234
    @apple10234 2 роки тому +2477

    “You are a wizard, Harry.”
    “So what does that mean?”
    “It means you’re a pervert.”

  • @Grainus
    @Grainus 2 роки тому +9595

    Goblins with guns are incredibly dangerous, these wizards should learn to magically conjure bullet proof armors

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 2 роки тому +248

      A good old Earth Wizard is always useful during those moments.
      Well... They would be without those pesky laws about "preserving the landscape". Yeah sure, this place used to be a boring ass plain, and now it's a cool mountain. Boohoo, what a huge lost!

    • @justinfritz4817
      @justinfritz4817 2 роки тому +43

      Ah yes, Aramidius Vestus, one of my favorites.

    • @succo928
      @succo928 2 роки тому +110

      @@shytendeakatamanoir9740 i think it was because those Chinese wizards tried to combine it with necromancy and made an army of stone warriors, hopefully they got arrested before doing something with it

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 2 роки тому +74

      @@succo928 They just used that incident to pass the laws, but they wanted to shut all mages for a while.
      And necromancy has bad press, but we all know many rulers take advice from ghosts.
      Now wonder magic appears boring and unnecessary when anything fun is prohibited. Soon, even polymorphism will be banned. And that is just sad, you know...

    • @no1ce688
      @no1ce688 2 роки тому +9

      or projectile-proof forcefields

  • @thepizzaman6310
    @thepizzaman6310 Рік тому +4107

    I can relate. I was eating at a restaurant and this wizard dude at my table just kept going on about his spells and when I asked him for a bit of quiet so I could eat in peace, he sent me to the 12th plane of chaos. Thankfully I had a warlock friend who's patron lived there who teleported me back to the normal world.

    • @ultimaxkom8728
      @ultimaxkom8728 Рік тому +217

      Lucky you. I was once sent to a place called Earth and it's- **shudder** l-let's let's just forget about it...

    • @eunhokim5713
      @eunhokim5713 Рік тому +82

      @@ultimaxkom8728 earth isn't that bad
      minus trafficking, abuse, bullying, harassment, and etc, it's a sorta good place

    • @ultimaxkom8728
      @ultimaxkom8728 Рік тому +77

      @@eunhokim5713 You don't understand. Earth is a hell for us - literal. The planet's temperature slowly melt our bodies the second we enter its atmosphere. It's anything *but* good. It's torture.

    • @eunhokim5713
      @eunhokim5713 Рік тому +21

      @@ultimaxkom8728 it wasn't always like that though, was it...?

    • @ultimaxkom8728
      @ultimaxkom8728 Рік тому +31

      @@eunhokim5713 I think it's about 350 years ago since then. In planet Perisolerian's years that is. As for now? We don't know. Our rogue planet has drifted too far away for us to check.

  • @Bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
    @Bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Рік тому +6647

    I love the concept of doing “relatable” rants about completely unrealistic things as if they’re everyday occurrences and pet peeves. We need more of this kind of rant video

    • @Kuramaru-ce2db
      @Kuramaru-ce2db Рік тому

      Wdym completely unrealistic, yesterday, just when I was about to go to train some dumbass wizard summoned earth golem in the middle of the railroad, people were so pissed off and that guy just left riding his golem after destroying rails, needless to say I was late to work, shitty wizard

    • @banana1729
      @banana1729 Рік тому +33

      i agree.

    • @phi1688
      @phi1688 Рік тому +145

      I see it as an allegory. The more and more I watch his videos, the more and more I see the criticisms and life lessons this guy is teaching. It’s like a therapist who babbles about incoherent stories but by linking every 5th word together you’ll realize he’s trying to say something

    • @fakeweeb8655
      @fakeweeb8655 Рік тому +85

      @@phi1688 i thought it was obvious satire of other patterns of ostracization we see, and the justifications people give for them, lol

    • @phi1688
      @phi1688 Рік тому +15

      @@fakeweeb8655 well yeah, this video is a pretty obvious example of that, I’m just commenting on the “rant video” thing in the main comment

  • @dan9738
    @dan9738 2 роки тому +15522

    "It's not the middle ages anymore, wizards!"
    -A literal sword-wielding knight

    • @NuclearTopSpot
      @NuclearTopSpot 2 роки тому +580

      Ey, it's carbon fiber reinforced.. tungsten carbide coated, laser cut long sword! High elf tech!

    • @federalcasemaker
      @federalcasemaker 2 роки тому +276

      @@NuclearTopSpot and the elf weaponsmith herself uses a high-tech lightweight assault rifle designed specifically for mercenaries fighting against anomalous eldritch entities.

    • @northropi2027
      @northropi2027 2 роки тому +143

      @@federalcasemaker and the knights themselves are Metal Gear Rising cyborgs under the armor

    • @federalcasemaker
      @federalcasemaker 2 роки тому +73

      @@northropi2027 and the "wizards" are just really good combat engineers

    • @lolgamez9171
      @lolgamez9171 2 роки тому +8

      Ratio

  • @AmbiguouslyAnonymous
    @AmbiguouslyAnonymous 2 роки тому +5088

    1:07 Actually have a funny story related to that.
    Back in Grade 4 I knew this kid that claimed he knew how to do magic. He claimed to always get perfect test scores because he could use his all-seeing orb to find out what all the answers were and insisted on always being excused from dodgeball during P.E. because his magic was so powerful that a single hit from one would send the school into another dimension.
    Of course no one really believed him at first, but one day he got mad at our English teacher Ms. Eleanor for grading his paper with a 0 and transformed her into a chicken (apparently using his orb to write an essay counted as plagiarising someone from the 7th Realm).
    Obviously it was at that point that we realized he had been telling the truth the whole time, and we quickly realized he was actually a 155 year old wizard who had incorrectly brewed a youth potion that now caused him to have to relive childhood. A whole bunch of us started asking him to use his magic to make us cool things (I asked for a Dairy Queen gift card) and overall we had a lot of fun messing around with his magic that day.
    Unfortunately during all of the commotion, all of us had failed to realize that the lunchlady had mistaken Ms. Eleanor as the meat to be used in the chicken sandwiches for lunch that day. I had the soup so I didn't get to try one, but one of my friends told me she tasted pretty good. The wizard got expelled the next day because I guess Ms. Eleanor's family got mad at him or something and complained. None of us ever saw him again after that, but I still think about that day from time to time whenever I eat at a Dairy Queen now.

    • @AlphaDidThings
      @AlphaDidThings 2 роки тому +505

      I'm sorry but...what the fuck

    • @nervousyoungman6764
      @nervousyoungman6764 2 роки тому +540

      Yeah, there's this creep in my chemistry class who did something similar. We reported her to the office for turning one of my classmates into a newt, but we didn't have any proof so she got off scott free. I just don't feel comfortable having a wizard in my class. Who knows how old she is? Like for all we know she could be like 120 years old or something.
      One time I saw her looking into her all seeing orb or something and I couldn't see what she was looking at, but it couldn't have been good. I'm sick of all these creeps with magic powers, why can't they give it to someone that's actually pretty, like me, and not some creep like her. Wizards are all the same.

    • @TLAO777
      @TLAO777 2 роки тому +122

      man I really didn't expect that twist

    • @thegreatscribbles960
      @thegreatscribbles960 2 роки тому +100

      @@nervousyoungman6764 hey think it about it like this the 100 year old loli is the new craze these days

    • @gagthys2178
      @gagthys2178 Рік тому +58

      they had us in the first half not gonna lie

  • @MiotaLee
    @MiotaLee Рік тому +896

    Not even mentioning that we had to get rid of paper money because of wizards who kept using prestidigitation to trick you into thinking that the piece of paper he gave you was actually a 20$ bill

    • @theloweffortchannel7211
      @theloweffortchannel7211 Рік тому +1

      Based wizards inconveniencing the (((Federal Reserve)))

    • @drizzmatec
      @drizzmatec Рік тому +125

      Look just because you dumped Intelligence, and can't pass the Investigation check needed to identify an illusion as a result, doesn't mean you can blame wizards.

    • @UncIe-Ben
      @UncIe-Ben Рік тому +51

      @@drizzmatec Exactly! I was looking all over the realms for somebody who actually understands and researches a topic before they decide to post their opinion about our magic.

    • @MiotaLee
      @MiotaLee Рік тому +2

      Relax, it's a joke.

    • @valletas
      @valletas 11 місяців тому +34

      @@MiotaLee the only joke is our economy especially when we compare it the the goblin who not only are thriving but their GDP are starting to match our own
      They are already the largest military force in the planet now they are also getting the best equipament
      I cant entirely blame on wizards tho its also the faulty of the millions of warriors and "adventurers" who waste our precious resources into swords and armors that are completely innefective against the guns goblins are using only for their bodies to be looted by goblins and used to only make more guns and ammo

  • @destinationEuropa
    @destinationEuropa Рік тому +452

    A wizard actually managed to get elected mayor of my village back in '04. He was generally popular for a while after lowering property taxes and instituting a goblin pox awareness program. But there was a big scandal when it turned out he had enthralled the girl's volleyball team to sing the Songs of the Sixth Circle and polish his orb

    • @theanimator7687
      @theanimator7687 8 місяців тому

      Aawh, dude, his ORB?! WHAT A SCUMBAG!

    • @ArturoPladeado
      @ArturoPladeado 7 місяців тому +20

      Orb? shouldn't it be orbs or was he in an accident?

    • @GodActio
      @GodActio 5 місяців тому +89

      @@ArturoPladeado No, literally his all-seeing orb. Turns out the bragging value of one polished by an entire girls volleyball team that sang the songs of the sixth circle is unbelievably high. Legend says that he became mayor in a grand scheme all for that one day. He's been insufferably bragging about his polished orb to any wizard he runs across, and on wizard-net.

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 4 місяці тому +14

      ew that's so disgusting

    • @ViviBuchlaw
      @ViviBuchlaw 19 днів тому +1

      Wizards like this need to be permanently banished to Pandemonium smh

  • @Nobody-ed9bv
    @Nobody-ed9bv 2 роки тому +1592

    My wizard dad used to come home drunk every night and turn me into a frog, and then I had to wait for an hour of him arguing with my mom in the kitchen until she finally managed to convince him to turn me back to normal. Eventually it got so bad my mom had to hide me around the house so he wouldn't find me and turn me into a frog again.
    I will never forgive wizards for this.

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 роки тому +49

      Ngl turning into a frog sounds dope.

    • @matthewbadger8685
      @matthewbadger8685 Рік тому +178

      @@creditsunknown7974 That might be the case, but a child cannot give informed consent to be turned into a frog

    • @yf-n7710
      @yf-n7710 Рік тому +61

      @@matthewbadger8685 Nah, they can give informed consent. The issue is they can't communicate when they want to turn *back* , since frogs can't speak. And anyway, even though they *can* give consent, it doesn't sound like OP did.

    • @entity107
      @entity107 Рік тому +5

      @@matthewbadger8685 but the parents can

    • @doxscund8821
      @doxscund8821 Рік тому +39

      "You cannot consent to becoming a pizza"
      -Ssethzeentach

  • @MatthewPherigo
    @MatthewPherigo 2 роки тому +13249

    Video essays from alternate universes is a great idea and I support it

    • @Amparito847
      @Amparito847 2 роки тому +539

      What do you mean alternate universe? I see a wizard staring at me from the bathroom stall right now

    • @flidethechemist
      @flidethechemist 2 роки тому +320

      Perhaps you're the one living in an alternate universe? Just this morning I saw a wizard on this old and rickety broom stuck in traffic right in front of me. It looked a little ridiculous, now that I think about it.

    • @ahedgehog9297
      @ahedgehog9297 2 роки тому +111

      One of my friends (wizard) just sent me a message rn, what do you mean “alternate universe”?

    • @curiousauthor9827
      @curiousauthor9827 2 роки тому +125

      next youre gonna be saying the sky is still blue

    • @akatosh5689
      @akatosh5689 2 роки тому +59

      I hope I lived wherever you do, last week I ran into some wizard pondering their orbs in a public park, I had my little cousin with me, some don't know about public decency smh

  • @adon155
    @adon155 Рік тому +427

    the idea of a wizard looking into your future just to get petty revenge is amazing

    • @Bruhtatochip742
      @Bruhtatochip742 Рік тому

      Here's my favorite example of that
      ua-cam.com/video/M22-W77cIO0/v-deo.html

    • @TiroDvD
      @TiroDvD 11 місяців тому

      Dr. Orpheus did this in Venture Brothers. ua-cam.com/video/r94szVfch7Q/v-deo.html

    • @AKcess_Dnied
      @AKcess_Dnied 3 місяці тому +7

      No, man, he didn't really look into your future. He was just making a threat.

    • @ViviBuchlaw
      @ViviBuchlaw 19 днів тому

      You won't think it's so amazing when it happens to you

  • @dontspeaktoelectrohead1491
    @dontspeaktoelectrohead1491 Рік тому +193

    I saw a wizard at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet one in person but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
    He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
    I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
    The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
    When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

    • @zaloskog
      @zaloskog 7 місяців тому +22

      how rude, as a wizard myself I would never insult my honor like that

    • @VeeZzz123
      @VeeZzz123 2 місяці тому +3

      @@zaloskog I get you. They are the loud minority, and all wizards suffer prejudice because of them :/

  • @Eliagiulio
    @Eliagiulio 2 роки тому +18343

    This video feels like a very elaborate shitpost and a genius metaphor at the same time

    • @twinknecrosis
      @twinknecrosis 2 роки тому +351

      metaphor about what? no hate just wondering

    • @deepfriedpotato9668
      @deepfriedpotato9668 2 роки тому +1134

      @@twinknecrosis replace "wizards" and magic with any profession and anything they do.
      Discriminating people for the work they do exist since who knows how long?

    • @kigamezero8636
      @kigamezero8636 2 роки тому +297

      @@deepfriedpotato9668 sorry. I have like 1.5 brain cells left and couldn't correlate the two.

    • @Eliagiulio
      @Eliagiulio 2 роки тому +258

      @@twinknecrosis I dunno, it just seems like it's implying something or parodying something

    • @snowob
      @snowob 2 роки тому +83

      yup that's the channel

  • @captainmeadows6307
    @captainmeadows6307 2 роки тому +2668

    I laughed so hard at the cat part that everyone in my office now knows I'm not actually doing my job

    • @logandunlap9156
      @logandunlap9156 2 роки тому +33

      get fired

    • @dinamosflams
      @dinamosflams 2 роки тому +55

      Show this video to your boss

    • @Moth-man
      @Moth-man 2 роки тому +37

      He’ll forgive you

    • @joshriley2936
      @joshriley2936 2 роки тому +28

      Not doing your job, kind of like a WIZARD!

    • @spiralhalo
      @spiralhalo 2 роки тому +5

      You'll probably be forgiven because everyone hates wizards

  • @matthewlyons6544
    @matthewlyons6544 Рік тому +304

    Maybe if you didn’t shun young wizards they wouldn’t isolate themselves and instead be well adjusted for social situations.

    • @Dodanon
      @Dodanon 3 місяці тому +31

      EXACTLY

    • @RandomMushroom-xm5kj
      @RandomMushroom-xm5kj 3 місяці тому +14

      Thank you very much

    • @QSBraWQ
      @QSBraWQ 3 місяці тому +7

      But they're so useless

    • @raspberryjam
      @raspberryjam 3 місяці тому +30

      I feel like I'm going insane with how much blind prejudice everyone has for wizards. Anytime someone even mentions seeing something in an orb everyone immediately jumps to calling them a future otherworld scribe, or otherwise "forming a subconscious bridge" as if that doesnt happen tenfold in mundane academia. Like congratulations you recognize that scrying sickness is bad actually, whoop-de-doo. Question, _why_ exactly is scrying sickness bad? "It's an unnatural perturbation of magic" what are you, Amish? Everything's a perturbation of magic, computers are about as unnatural as you can get and you don't seem too pressed about those. The issue is that it _erodes the mind._ Not that it's unnatural, not that it changes you, it's that it damages your self and leads you to harm others. Magic itself doesn't even harm you, it's the sole trust in the arcane that opens you up to that kind of stuff. People just need to open up trust for fledgling wizards, focus on the intersectionality of artifice and mental heath, and stop blaming wizards for things that can be addressed with basic fucking decency

    • @QSBraWQ
      @QSBraWQ 3 місяці тому

      @@raspberryjam no, computers are very natural actually, they follow every law of physics. Also if we gonna trust wizzards, not only will it give them opportunity to rule the world, but it will make wizzards morel mainstream, and they are awful. You don't want them to be main hoard of people who run society.

  • @adjoint_functor
    @adjoint_functor Рік тому +120

    imagine this being the only historical record left of this century and all the future historians are losing their shit over where all the wizards went

  • @GingerPale
    @GingerPale 2 роки тому +2468

    wizards are the worst kind of people. Someone had to say it

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 роки тому +77

      I am really disapointed, i loved your content but you are steryotiping the minority that is wizards.

    • @micahneo8985
      @micahneo8985 2 роки тому +30

      Wizards who have bot orbs are disliking this comment right now

    • @gopgoomy1834
      @gopgoomy1834 Рік тому +36

      As a wizard myself, I am deeply saddened that another one of my favorite UA-camrs generalized and insulted my people.

    • @qualivia
      @qualivia Рік тому +15

      Let me guess, Your a warrior.

    • @deceitfuljester7172
      @deceitfuljester7172 Рік тому +6

      My fiance is a wizard, and I love him very dearly! You just have to find the ones that are also bisexual tieflings, *those* sorts of wizards are delightful people!

  • @0BucketMask0
    @0BucketMask0 2 роки тому +872

    This definitely was originally going to just be a "pondering orb" meme that ended up becoming an entire animated wizard themed mockulist.

  • @nickster5207
    @nickster5207 Рік тому +188

    Also the fact that every wizard has *zero* self control. When presented with the chance to cast a spell that can destroy the world with the small chance of granting them a longer beard *THEY WILL DO IT*

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 7 місяців тому +10

      Man that's a bit of an overgeneralization :(
      I don't even want a beard

    • @ArturoPladeado
      @ArturoPladeado 7 місяців тому +11

      *BUT LONGER BEARD!*

    • @Noblesse_Sapphire
      @Noblesse_Sapphire 3 місяці тому +2

      Man, having a beard feels like having a second hair, all of the products to make it shiny or healthy are expensive af, if you didn't do it, it will strangle you and whispering nightmares when you sleep, that's why I shaved mine :"D

    • @gabrielsfilms2086
      @gabrielsfilms2086 3 місяці тому

      I wouldn't, mainly because I don't want a beard but like, I still wouldnt

  • @poopa_stinka
    @poopa_stinka Рік тому +150

    Wizards being real and just obnoxious whimsical weirdos who’s magic is just annoying is my favorite bit

    • @Mrfallouthero
      @Mrfallouthero 10 місяців тому +9

      Yeah, wow dude.. I've always wanted to be friends with a flashlight

  • @Spoonsies_
    @Spoonsies_ 2 роки тому +514

    You never see Wizards who’s in a relationship. You wonder, why?
    It’s because they’re always pondering their damn orbs, that’s why.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 роки тому +45

      Who needs relationships when they can Ponder the orb

    • @Drekromancer
      @Drekromancer 2 роки тому +62

      @@FerretyZebra any wizard born after 1993 can't fight... all they know is necromancy, hide, charge they crystals, be antisocial, ponder they orb and lie

    • @zachatyshafer9836
      @zachatyshafer9836 Рік тому +1

      nah its cause they dont know how a shower works

    • @RhobarEisenblut
      @RhobarEisenblut Рік тому +1

      No because it leads to creative magic which means the apocalypse for a world.

    • @G0RSHK0V
      @G0RSHK0V Рік тому

      No, that's because if they will reproduce, the sourcerer can be born, the fabric of reality is to weak for sourcery. Also, sourcerer is likely to start a new magic war, and magic wars are very destructive, and cause magic-active pollution

  • @kekero540
    @kekero540 2 роки тому +381

    I hate it when the local wizard makes a new chimera that quickly becomes an invasive species in the local area.
    Like “ok yeah the manticore is cool and all but can my children please play outside without being picked up by a 300lb lion with wing please?”

    • @jamaljenkins3383
      @jamaljenkins3383 Рік тому +27

      Not all manticores are bad it’s the owner that makes them bad not the manticore

    • @nobodynowhere000
      @nobodynowhere000 Рік тому +10

      @@jamaljenkins3383 Yeah, totally. So many people abandon manticores after they grow up because they get so big. The stray manticore population has skyrocketed in my city! If you’re going to get a pet, make sure you’re able to take care of it properly ffs

  • @dimensionalchaos8422
    @dimensionalchaos8422 Рік тому +75

    I know a guy called the Iron Wizard. Hates the Fae, wears cold iron armor and throws salt everywhere.
    Also he has alot of sharp things. i dont think they count as swords but he hunts any fae or fairy creature.
    Apparently he was tricked as a kid and his parents were resurected as zombies.

    • @gamerplays5131
      @gamerplays5131 10 місяців тому +16

      Everyone hates the fae, including the fae

  • @danielstatler954
    @danielstatler954 Рік тому +83

    As a wizard myself, i am quite offended. I would never use invisibility to steal, only for sneaking up on people and putting a crossbow bolt in their head from point blank range. For stealing, shape shifting is a much better option as someone who noone knows takes the blame instead and there is no way to prove it was the wizard shape shifting. God I love this country

    • @zaloskog
      @zaloskog 7 місяців тому +5

      Oh dude I agree 100%, also who said we can't use guns, I have a spell that gives my whatever gun I desire

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 7 місяців тому +13

      As a fellow wizard I implore you to stop stealing and instead learn fabricate and use it to make things you can sell for large amounts of profit.

    • @Noblesse_Sapphire
      @Noblesse_Sapphire 3 місяці тому +3

      ​@@mailcs06oh! Fabricate is such a useful spell, but the thing is it's pretty difficult to master it and it took so much mana & stamina :"D

    • @gabrielsfilms2086
      @gabrielsfilms2086 3 місяці тому +1

      I dont get why you dont just learn fabricate, it's probably not that hard to learn? hold on... okay yah you just gotta have something of equal mass of whatever your trying to make plus a lot of mana

    • @ladvargleinad7566
      @ladvargleinad7566 13 днів тому

      You DO realize that crossbow bolts needs airtime to optimize their impact force, right?

  • @confusioned2249
    @confusioned2249 2 роки тому +1917

    "So i'm going to try my best, not to be too judgmental."
    Literally the next sentence:
    "All wizards are perverts."

    • @Wonders_of_Reality
      @Wonders_of_Reality Рік тому +51

      It’s so nice to see some honesty in this sea of hypocritical political correctness!

    • @betin731
      @betin731 Рік тому +78

      yeah that was the joke

    • @MouseGoat
      @MouseGoat Рік тому +6

      well as a wizards i just want to say...
      He completely right... :V why else did you think i was pondering my orb for.

    • @chavaspada
      @chavaspada Рік тому +7

      Wizards are basically discord mods 🤮

    • @UncIe-Ben
      @UncIe-Ben Рік тому +3

      As a local wizard I would like to say not all of us are old crusty perverts that bring the end of days upon us. Why don't you do your research before you say such outlandish things about our magic.

  • @frog985-2
    @frog985-2 2 роки тому +2103

    these videos never fail to ruthlessly murder me

    • @xuesse4662
      @xuesse4662 2 роки тому +9

      so true

    • @Oscar4u69
      @Oscar4u69 2 роки тому +47

      unlike a wizard, who can't do anything

    • @Munkaa
      @Munkaa 2 роки тому +7

      Yep .

    • @carnetplank6259
      @carnetplank6259 2 роки тому +8

      My condolences 🙁

    • @pbwithj534
      @pbwithj534 2 роки тому +4

      so, yours does the thing where 14 wild hogs come through you speakers and ruthlessly beat you up and then all traces of them dissapear, or is that just me? and all you have to show for it is a small bit of broken tusk in youre left upper forearm?

  • @Qreamey
    @Qreamey Рік тому +52

    When the Shadow Wizard Money Gang conquers the mortal realm you will be the first to be sacrificed.

  • @superiorozzy184
    @superiorozzy184 Рік тому +35

    I had a problem with a wizard before. I said a joke to a wizard that went like this: "Hail, summoner. Conjure me up a warm bed, would you?" And they took such great offense to it that they almost put a ten thousand-year-long curse upon me and my bloodline but then the wizard police got involved and things escalated

  • @Eiroth
    @Eiroth 2 роки тому +580

    I've been called a hat nonce, a staff nonce, and I've just about had it. This video perpetuates outdated stereotypes about wizards, and I won't stand for it!

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 роки тому +9

      Everyone knows Hat nonce is a compliment- Also you still use staffs???? Either get a wand, book, or use your hands like everyone else!
      Everyone should know that staffs, specially old and homemade, keep and trap magoc tocins on them which causes diseases!

    • @Em3.14re
      @Em3.14re 2 роки тому +11

      Yeah, obviously you won’t stand for it- it’s not like you CAN stand, at least not without a walker. Magic user? More like magic loser

    • @EvilMaster4002
      @EvilMaster4002 2 роки тому +6

      @@creditsunknown7974 As a part of the Melee Wizards staffs are the ultimate weapons, they can be used a Bo staff and after spending 50 percent of your time working out and 50 percent of time learning spells after you casted a non aging spell on yourself you will become a TRUE offensive wizard which can defeat even the strongest raid bosses along with crusaders like a true wizard

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 роки тому +1

      @@EvilMaster4002 THE RAID BOSSES ARENT THE ONLY THING THAT YOU SHOULD BE QORRYING ABOUT- STAFFS KEEP MAGIC TOXINS ON THEM YOU GONNA GET CANCER.

    • @EvilMaster4002
      @EvilMaster4002 2 роки тому +1

      @@creditsunknown7974 fool im a melee wizard i use the most potent strength magic no toxin will penetrate my supreme body ive trained in fact it will just build my tolerance

  • @VladLongPlus
    @VladLongPlus 2 роки тому +1209

    The class jealously in this video is so thick you couldn't cut it even with a vorpal sword. Listen fighter, it is not wizard's fault that when given a choice between "hit things with metal stick" and "alter reality to your whims" you made the stupid choice and went for stick.

    • @iamtrash288
      @iamtrash288 2 роки тому +239

      Well, to be honest, not everybody gets to get that choice. Wizardry is expensive and the major ivory tower associations have been bribing and lobbying their way into raising the entering barriers for the new enterprising covens. Statistical research shows that every successful wizard under the age of 300 has some kind of noble pedigree and for a commoner to become a wizard... That would take a miracle nowadays. Magical autocracy just doesn't work.

    • @tallymanz6756
      @tallymanz6756 2 роки тому +138

      While you were arguing me and the rogues guild boys already took both your wallets.

    • @FaeriePrince
      @FaeriePrince 2 роки тому +61

      @@iamtrash288 I may only be a younger wizard at 3000 years old, but I agree that the quality of green-staffed wizards have really gone downhill. Those newbies are so pompous now adays. Although my perspective may not be the best since wizard is only my secondary class, with sorcery being my main, and cleric being my tertiary.

    • @fjolliff6308
      @fjolliff6308 2 роки тому +9

      Oof! Bet he wants to jump through a few portals now!

    • @VladLongPlus
      @VladLongPlus 2 роки тому +47

      @@iamtrash288 If I could take a half million gold crown loan to pay for wizard school so can you. Besides which public wizard schools are not that bad. Clortho for example is a fine institute for those of more modest means. only 20% demon baby rate is nothing to cry about. Sure I might have to slave away for the nobility for the next 1000 years to pay off my wizard student loans but that does not mean the system is broken.

  • @huhneat1076
    @huhneat1076 Рік тому +189

    I love how all of your videos feel like a commentary on commentary itself

  • @yourconscious
    @yourconscious 7 місяців тому +29

    As an artificer, this is what I'm always saying. Do you know how many times I've had to had to enchant anti-magic software into a wizard's computer because they cast fireball on it in rage? I just want to go back to forging gunswords and cannonshield.

  • @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606
    @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606 2 роки тому +424

    If the wizard's third spell is "Charm", they aren't trying to be a wizard, they're trying to be a stereotypical bard.

    • @yuvalgabay1023
      @yuvalgabay1023 2 роки тому +33

      Remember that charm has been outlawd because it's basically roopees

    • @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606
      @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606 2 роки тому +68

      @@yuvalgabay1023 Roofee*, but It's actually even more immoral. By manipulating how a person thinks of the caster, wizards can make you think basically anything short of direct harm. I had a guy try to convince me to do jury duty for him. I only know that's what He was trying to do because he told me after he caught his breath from the 12 guage sandbag round that I sent nearly through his ribs within 2 seconds of me hearing a magic word. God bless Texas, don't leave the house without personal a defense weapon if you've seen a wizard in the past 24 hours.

    • @Nesto_
      @Nesto_ Рік тому +25

      Charms aren’t even the scariest thing they can do, it’s just common due to accessibility. My grandpa told the story of how a wizard altered his memory and made him think he was a bang robber, all to create a distraction so the wizard could actually rob a bank.

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 7 місяців тому +5

      I'm a wizard but I never use mental manipulation spells because they're immoral and IMO cowardly.

    • @Merrsharr
      @Merrsharr 4 місяці тому +4

      I'm not sure if I should be more offended for my wizard or my bard, neither of which actually know the Charm spell

  • @baacloud
    @baacloud 2 роки тому +2721

    Hey, great video and everything, but this topic can get a bit extreme with the "all wizards are bad," personally. I got called a Magic Sympathizer on the street yesterday for simply saying that the worldwide dark rituals might not be _that_ bad on the ecological footprint. You just cannot have normal discussions nowadays

    • @Abananapie
      @Abananapie 2 роки тому +226

      Worldwide dark rituals are the cause of 70% of all carbon emissions keep denying the facts Magic sympathiser 🙄

    • @succo928
      @succo928 2 роки тому +157

      They literally summon fire out of nothing of course THEY are the cause of the global warming

    • @flidethechemist
      @flidethechemist 2 роки тому +52

      @@succo928 I personally think that both no - maj people and magic - wielders caused global warming.

    • @figo3554
      @figo3554 2 роки тому +100

      Idk man, I don't see petroleum turning the sky RED

    • @ZelphTheWebmancer
      @ZelphTheWebmancer 2 роки тому +151

      @@Abananapie This again. Correlation is not causation. Just because you put to graphs on top of each other doesn't mean the dark rituals are the ones causing 70% of the carbon emissions. Seriously, is 2021, almost 2022, and people are still saying this misinformed stuff.

  • @noxeus1871
    @noxeus1871 Рік тому +16

    >doesn't embrace the arcane
    >thinks magic is a waste of time
    >clearly isn't enthralled by the mystic majesty of thaumaturgic studies
    >doesn't even know how to cast a mere light spell even by using a glyph
    >Uses a slate of knowledge everyday only to look at sword sharpening visions but faints in the mere presence of a scrying orb
    "Yeah guys magic and wizards are useless and shouldn't be trusted. Be a meathead instead."

    • @ViviBuchlaw
      @ViviBuchlaw 19 днів тому

      A wizard killed my family

  • @Mordecrox
    @Mordecrox Рік тому +29

    Ah yes I remember being fascinated with how conjure food worked, how they always summon varied cooked goods, how they magically prepare these meals?
    Then I'm told it's just teleported from someone's plate when they aren't looking.
    Cook like you were cooking for a wizard. They hate spices.

    • @nuclearwinter5748
      @nuclearwinter5748 8 місяців тому +4

      so that's where my dinner went

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 7 місяців тому +4

      Ah that's the 1st level spell Conjure Meal. The 3rd level spell Create Meal actually creates one from scratch.

  • @enthurian100
    @enthurian100 2 роки тому +2327

    Alright Matt, I'm going to have to do a thorough break down of this video.
    Before I even talk about your "Top 5 Reasons Why All Wizards Are Terrible", I want to talk about the the first three things you say about wizards. First you say they're weak (physically), Anti-social, and that they think riddles are funny. Firstly, it is a common misconception that wizards are weak, many wizards maintain the physical wellness of your average person, this isn't to say they're fit, but they about as fit as anyone else. Second, wizards are not anymore anti-social that your average person either, some are often more social due to the more diplomatic portion of their jobs (though this varies from field to field). Third, not all wizards laugh at riddles, it's just when they do that people make a big deal about it (and those that due are in the far minority). Alright, now time to address your "Top 5 Reasons Why All Wizards Are Terrible."
    Your number 5 reason was stated as "All Wizards Are Perverts", though you seem to extend this into your hatred for all-seeing orbs. First off I want to say 2 things, 1: Some wizards are perverts, but so are a lot for normal people, being a wizard doesn't automatically make you a pervert as much as anyone else, 2: Just because someone was using an all-seeing orb in the bathroom doesn't mean they were spying on someone, and if they were why would they do it in the bathroom when they could do it anywhere. As for the rest of your issues with all-seeing orbs, that's more down to particular wizards being assholes, which is to be expected with any person.
    Your number 4 reason was stated as "It Takes Your Entire Life To Be Good At Magic". This is completely untrue, becoming a wizards takes no longer than any other higher education job. The only reason this became a stereotype in the first place was due to extremely powerful famous wizards, and the fact that education in that past was very bad and so it would take a lot longer to become skilled in magic. You also go on to comment about the way wizards look, which is mostly false as well, sure some wizards look this way, if they're homeless, but most professional wizards are just as well dressed as anyone else.
    Your number 3 reason was stated as "Magic Is A Waste Of Everyone's Time". This point honestly baffles me. You first comment on how inept they are in combat (obviously neglecting to mention battle-mages, but this is about wizards, so I won't get into that.). Only an unskilled untrained wizards is going to fumble over their decisions, and staying in the back is honestly the best place for them, as they're most likely to act as a support. Now you try to tell me that magic shields are worthless against guns, which is completely false, in fact, blocking against projectiles is one of the easier things for magic to do. However, this goes without mentioning any of the other supporting magic a wizard can use, such a swifting spells, and buff/debuff spells. Even then however, this still doesn't mention that they can throw fireballs and shoot lightning (if they're trained at least).
    Your number 2 reason was stated as "Technology Beats Magic Every Time." This reason is honestly the most justifiable. Modern technology has come a long to match magics power. This does have some key problems though. You mention portals, which are of course a bit dangerous, they are however, not the only way to travel with magic, and whilst dangerous to living things they have little danger to materials, making it greats for transferring supplies and cargo. Magic can also do anything technology can but a little better, such as instant communication (might be useful when trying to talk to someone on mars or further with no lightspeed time delay), weather manipulation, and they can even make better computers (though there hasn't been as much development in that field until normal computers were invented).
    Your number 1, and last, reason was stated as "The World Is Ending". First thing I'd like to say is, there is nothing inherently wrong with necromancy, but not for the same reasons as stated by you. Before I states my reason though, I'd like to clear something up: Necromancy is magic that allows it's users to manipulate life force. This means you can make the undead and use blood sacrifice to power magic, which is often not allowed among professional wizards, but these wizards still use necromancy, how though? Simple, necromancy can also heal wounds and even bring people back to life (with their full cognitive ability), this often falls under the radar due to holy magics, but they are still just as much a part of necromancy as creating undead. This misconception about necromancy has honestly become so prevalent that it's a nuisance, when casting magic and people start claiming your a cleric cause you healed someone's scraped knee. Also, the red sky was sorcerer, stop blaming their wild-magic missteps on us. The rituals are also not supported by any wizarding groups (that are legal).
    Honestly Matt, this video really hurt from you, I've watched you for a while now, and to see you make such a blatant promotion of fighters while knocking down wizards (who already get a bad rap as it is) is sad. I hope your new sponsors are nice to you, but The Wizards Guild gives it's final regards. -Enthurian, Spokesperson on the behalf of The Wizards Guild.

    • @AWESOMO5
      @AWESOMO5 2 роки тому +89

      Nigga i aint reading all that shit

    • @enthurian100
      @enthurian100 2 роки тому +371

      @@AWESOMO5 Okay. Then why'd you comment?

    • @cheesecake001
      @cheesecake001 2 роки тому +431

      Why isn't this the top comment instead of all those jokes and people spreading misinformation?

    • @enthurian100
      @enthurian100 2 роки тому +336

      @@cheesecake001 Some people just don't want to face the truth.

    • @dopaminecloud
      @dopaminecloud 2 роки тому +275

      thanks for the speaking out for the little magic man
      i've faced a lot of discrimination because of a few insane necromancers yelling about taking over the world

  • @shazani18
    @shazani18 2 роки тому +564

    I'm watching this thinking about the only wizard I've ever known well and it's hilarious

  • @greedynap
    @greedynap Рік тому +14

    My parents wanted me to have a wizard tutor and paid him so much gold to teach me the arcane arts but he did nothing except give me an orb to "watch how it's done"

  • @FestusOmega
    @FestusOmega 9 місяців тому +15

    Physicians will see you cast a spell of healing and say, "He hath not an MD."

  • @air7285
    @air7285 2 роки тому +441

    Oh great this is just what I needed for my “Why Wizards Are Ruining the Ecosystem” essay, thanks a lot for covering this topic

    • @calebdahlheimer1471
      @calebdahlheimer1471 2 роки тому +6

      Careful Hitler, your bias is showing.

    • @FaeriePrince
      @FaeriePrince 2 роки тому +3

      I have input that I'd reccomend for your counterperspective that ypu'll need to put in: wizards study long and hard to learn about their magic. This includes the impact that their magic has in the environment. Not to mention that necromancers are more akin to warlocks than the larger sum of wizards.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 роки тому +2

      @@FaeriePrince necromancy≠warlock

    • @ligma6992
      @ligma6992 Рік тому

      ​@@FaeriePrince found the necromancy sympathizer

  • @TuckyBlue
    @TuckyBlue 2 роки тому +495

    What are your thoughts on sorcerers? They have the benefit of being born with innate magical prowess, so that deals with age, and that frees them up to train other skills.

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 роки тому +109

      They are too egostetical, like "Hey check me out im young, hot and sexy!" LIKE SHUT UP VEROSLIKAJON WE ARE IN A GODDAM CIRCLE OF HELL THIS IS NOT THE TIME.

    • @jetex1911
      @jetex1911 2 роки тому +97

      They're literally the next step up from being born rich, and the ones I've seen always seem to flaunt it. "Oh look at me my father was a dragon I'm so awesome" Yeah sure cool dude, I had to *work* for my knight's training.

    • @iamtrash288
      @iamtrash288 2 роки тому +11

      Eh, you really sympathise with those trust-fund (you know, the funds where you score your credit trust on Demon deals) babies?

    • @FaeriePrince
      @FaeriePrince 2 роки тому +34

      @@jetex1911 Sorcerers may be born with magic power, but they still have to train their magic to become more powerful, especially sorcerers from a lesser magic lineage like myself. I have worked hard to get my fifteen levels in sorcery, not to mention my twelve levels in wizardry, and my seven clerical levels.

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 роки тому +13

      The issue is those wankers seem to waste time with feelings and self exploration and somehow take just as long to achieve skill at magic.
      Sure they have more magic, but their shorter spell lists are pretty clearly a drawback

  • @Iwastheman
    @Iwastheman Рік тому +26

    I knew this kid at school who always said he was a wizard, and for some reason no one else asked for proof. So one day he got in a fight with an actual wizard kid. The kid knew a few spells but they were all pretty useless except for the electric one (he used it to hijack vending machines). Anyways, the kid who said he was a wizard tried to punch the wizard kid, but he electrocuted him. The next day, he was suspended.

  • @averagecringefan2964
    @averagecringefan2964 Рік тому +100

    As a wizard I can confirm that we are creepy douches with low moral standards but that doesn’t mean all of us are out of shape and magical barriers normally stop bullets anyway + you don’t see fighters just turn into dragons on their own now do you?

    • @gustavovargas8716
      @gustavovargas8716 Рік тому +15

      My friend's father is a dragon, and he sometimes drops the sword and go 1v1 in dragon form
      Not gonna lie dragon form is dope...

    • @Bruhtatochip742
      @Bruhtatochip742 Рік тому +7

      Yeah that'll show those melee users 🤓

  • @maglev957
    @maglev957 2 роки тому +243

    This is on TierZoo levels of interesting concepts nobody has done before and I'm all for more of things like this

  • @Total_DuDe
    @Total_DuDe 2 роки тому +420

    It's been 13 years, and they still don't know that I secretly replaced their cat.
    P.S. Nice to see Mattias moving to more positive stuff. c:

    • @ThreeBeeHDb
      @ThreeBeeHDb 2 роки тому +26

      I hate the synergy your comment has with your pfp.

    • @longpigpie3584
      @longpigpie3584 2 роки тому +1

      @@ThreeBeeHDb and name

  • @BugDrawer
    @BugDrawer Рік тому +14

    Thank god someone finally addressed this. I once stepped on some old guy's robe and the guy turned around and turned me purple.

  • @asshat8892
    @asshat8892 Рік тому +40

    I don’t know man, I’ve lived in Britain my whole life and every student wizard and mage I’ve met has always been pretty chill compared to what you’ve described.
    I think it might be more of a cultural thing. With the majority of my country’s population are wizards, there’s little to no reason for them to hide away in the towers and self study as you can turn the corner and there’s an entrance to Myrddin Wyttl high school or one of the two magical colleges in the world. (I forget names not gonna look up) so every magical student is getting plenty of social interaction and human contact.
    Though I haven’t ever met a wizard from outside of Britain I do know that the rest of Europe has as much history of discrimination and hunting the Magical community as it does with making them kingdom advisors and what not. the infamous Salem witch trials pale in comparison. (mostly because it turned out that it was only 1 real witch and a bunch of edgy teens. but I digress)
    Anyways, tldr I don’t think you know enough about what your talking about but I could be entirely wrong. The Magical folk I’ve met and learned from are nothing like how you described could be cultural thing, I don’t know.

    • @silver-ep8wn
      @silver-ep8wn 8 місяців тому +7

      no fr as a wizard from the middle east i feel like he just doesn't really get it

    • @aykarain
      @aykarain 6 місяців тому +1

      yeah...

  • @dr.gaming4860
    @dr.gaming4860 2 роки тому +94

    3:27 You see, I think this fellow here is actually a warlock, which are similar to wizards, but their powers are more derived from the Dark Gods generally. Slight difference, but still noteworthy.

    • @potatoboooi5168
      @potatoboooi5168 Рік тому +2

      Yeah! Know the difference! I can’t believe these people judging magic users when they can’t even tell us apart!

  • @ChloroDude
    @ChloroDude 2 роки тому +82

    One time, a wizard came by and started ripping off my doorframe, then stole my wife's wedding ring and told me he was "making a staff", and he also had a black cat following him that started growing rapidly and had teeth covered in blood.

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 роки тому +14

      This is why we don't let druids in

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 роки тому +16

      That isn't a Wizard thats a druid

  • @_kaorudreemurr
    @_kaorudreemurr Рік тому +12

    As a young Wizard, I am personally offended. Especially as one who specializes in supportive healing magics.

  • @MidnightDrake
    @MidnightDrake Рік тому +6

    Can we talk about how downright scary clerics can be?? Met one the other day, he almost called down the slap of god on a thief. Crazy, man..

  • @empoleonmaster6709
    @empoleonmaster6709 2 роки тому +602

    As someone that plays Artificer 1/Wizards in D&D this is anti-magic propaganda and I won't stand for it! Also I'm MUCH harder to hit and have 14 con.

    • @rianantony
      @rianantony 2 роки тому +12

      The guy thinks my Cleric1/Wizard... abjurer with false life isn't a heavy armor master who punches bad guys directly on the face with shocking grasp ands that's just not true

    • @empoleonmaster6709
      @empoleonmaster6709 2 роки тому +9

      @@rianantony I don't need anything more than high int for all my spells though. 14 dex and 14 con + War Caster from Custom Lineage let's me focus on int and them a bunch of feats for every level while maintaining full spell slot progression because Artificer has multi-class levels involving it rounded up, not down.

    • @bigendaliver
      @bigendaliver 2 роки тому +4

      what about Magi? i'm a Magus myself, my pa was a wizard and my other pa a fighter. so... you can guess how that goes.
      i consider myself in the wizard spectrum, or at least a wizard ally. can't cast spells as well as the rest of y'all but mad respects still.
      ...just remember that we frontline brawlers will bring it to court if you hit us 'accidentally'. #fighterlivesmatter

    • @empoleonmaster6709
      @empoleonmaster6709 2 роки тому +7

      @@bigendaliver Fighter lives do matter, that's why I'm an evocation wizard, that and it reduces lawsuits involving damage to personal property.

    • @thatrandomcrit5823
      @thatrandomcrit5823 2 роки тому +2

      I'm jealous, I'd like to be able to play DnD too!

  • @paro6735
    @paro6735 2 роки тому +31

    apologize to wizards right now my grandpa is a wizard and hes cursing you

  • @JettKuso
    @JettKuso Рік тому +9

    If you hate wizards so much why are you so obsessed with our orbs?

  • @vrygon8893
    @vrygon8893 Рік тому +9

    Let's not even start with sorcerer's and druids

  • @Blue-fg8vt
    @Blue-fg8vt 2 роки тому +141

    Man the wizard hate is high in this one. Ingoreing that spells improve each generation thus barriers are still effective when cast by a compitant wizard, and one can heal wounds with healing spells or brew potions too cure illness or help change ones body in ways surgery can't, they can streagthen their ally's or summon elementals. Magic is such a broad thing that most have too pick a certain catagory too be good, like doctors or teachers or any other catagory. I reccomend you take more note of the younger looking wizards, as many are much older than they apper, but have managed too reduce their age useing magic. It takes both an enchanter and a smith too make a sheild that can block both swords and magic effectively.

    • @randomusername1735
      @randomusername1735 2 роки тому +37

      This video conveniently ignores the fact that bullet resistant magic has been a thing for over a decade now! #stopwizardhate

    • @dubiousinformation1756
      @dubiousinformation1756 2 роки тому +14

      Just gonna add in that wizards don't in fact get healing spells.
      Sorcerer's can get healing spells (depending on the version of sorcerer).
      Warlocks can also gain access to healing spells (depending on the pact).
      Druids and clerics always have access to healing spells if they want them.
      But not wizards.
      And that's because wizards can do anything except be useful.
      Unlike Chad clerics.

    • @RatOfTheWoods
      @RatOfTheWoods 2 роки тому +18

      @@dubiousinformation1756 bold words for someone in fireball range (I am in your walls)

    • @tonyhakston536
      @tonyhakston536 Рік тому +18

      @@dubiousinformation1756 There once was a cleric as smug as can be
      He thought himself Chadly with utility
      But he had no powers to call as his own
      All of them borrowed from heaven’s high throne
      Not bad in itself, Paladins can attest
      But fighting with biting smites they do it best
      Still better than them are the Casters of Heart~
      Nothing else holds a candle to a Bard!

    • @christiankapoian3845
      @christiankapoian3845 Рік тому +1

      @@dubiousinformation1756 wizards get wither and bloom which allows you to deal damage while also healing yourself or any of your allies

  • @natxon
    @natxon 2 роки тому +144

    I have wizard friends, they keep learning about things they love and that's what matters 💞
    also their skills are kinda useful sometimes if things don't go wrong

    • @slay-thoven1357
      @slay-thoven1357 2 роки тому +16

      don't try to hide it, you're a wizard yourself just posting about "wizard friends" to avoid critique
      that said, you're right,

    • @Jugem16
      @Jugem16 2 роки тому +23

      Found the magic sympathiser. 🙄

    • @glumbortango7182
      @glumbortango7182 2 роки тому +4

      "Kind of if it doesn't go wrong" is fairly damning when you're talking about magic, all things considered

    • @alternateending4841
      @alternateending4841 2 роки тому +4

      Just because you have wizard friends doesn’t mean you can speak on the subject.

  • @Negi1001
    @Negi1001 11 місяців тому +15

    We need more people running around being wizards. Like a furry, but a wizard.

  • @berhonkusbardledoo
    @berhonkusbardledoo 11 місяців тому +6

    This video was not sponsored by the Shadow Government.
    Hopefully he doesn’t get canceled by the Shadow Wizard Money Gang.

  • @screamingmurkrow1720
    @screamingmurkrow1720 2 роки тому +279

    I feel like this is a metaphor for people stereotyping other’s kind of people and calling them all bad. Or maybe I’m looking way into this

    • @calebhessing7593
      @calebhessing7593 2 роки тому +65

      Nah man you're looking way into this, it's just about why all wizards suck

    • @rikospostmodernlife
      @rikospostmodernlife 2 роки тому +43

      No, you're right, and this dude is also overgeneralizing, mixing up wizards and warlocks smh

    • @Ratswithshivs
      @Ratswithshivs 2 роки тому +8

      SMH our kids are being raised on this propaganda?

    • @NeostormXLMAX
      @NeostormXLMAX 2 роки тому

      @@Ratswithshivs Basicly a massage about youtube propaganda

    • @eckspearaviit3129
      @eckspearaviit3129 2 роки тому

      Feels more like a cryptobro joke with the portal segment

  • @starflarethewizard1490
    @starflarethewizard1490 2 роки тому +59

    “It takes your entire life to be remotely good at magic”
    Anime and JRPGs: Allow us to introduce ourselves

    • @Nesto_
      @Nesto_ Рік тому +1

      Those characters may look like children but most of them have been around since BCE.

  • @SonOfMeme
    @SonOfMeme Рік тому +3

    They also keep setting my path ablaze

  • @nonya1366
    @nonya1366 Рік тому +9

    As a person who sells firearms to goblins, I can confirm that they are fully armed.

    • @nuclearwinter5748
      @nuclearwinter5748 8 місяців тому +2

      shhhh, you aren't supposed to talk about the illegal goblin arm trade in public you want the guards to arrest us?

    • @nonya1366
      @nonya1366 8 місяців тому +2

      @@nuclearwinter5748 The world is ending, we'll be fine.

  • @Saltier
    @Saltier 2 роки тому +23

    As a cleric, necromancy isn't just raising the dead it's also keeping the living alive. Healing word and lesser restoration are necromantic spells.

  • @T1mo777
    @T1mo777 2 роки тому +23

    2:08 *It's not the middle ages anymore and Goblins Have GUNS"
    Omg I can't 😭

  • @shiny_baxcalibur
    @shiny_baxcalibur Рік тому +7

    3:49 IM SORRY IM SORRY I DIDNT WANT TO DO IT THEY FORCED ME TOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • @TK0921
    @TK0921 Рік тому +5

    As a goblin wizard I can confirm all of these are true. Especially the part about goblins having guns.

  • @dana_____
    @dana_____ 2 роки тому +150

    Yeah and the amount of animal body parts sold to wizards for spells is unbelievable, in addition to increasing animal suffering, it's inflated animal product prices like crazy. Not everyone has a wizard's salary to pay for food.

    • @deadlydingus1138
      @deadlydingus1138 2 роки тому +11

      Not to mention, animals are going extinct even today just because some dumbass thinks that the toenails of a maned wolf or some shit will fix their divorce.

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 роки тому +3

      Not to mention those cave wizards are spreading diseases and other stuff cause they feel the need to collect bat guano and other crap for spells.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 роки тому +7

      There a non meat options for nutrition

    • @Sharkakaka
      @Sharkakaka Рік тому +6

      Have you seen the entry level wizard salaries recently? That's barely minimum wage.

    • @funguy398
      @funguy398 Рік тому

      Not get me started at those who started to grow chimeras which have abnormal amount of organs just to sell it.
      1. Its dangerous
      2. Its cruel
      3. The quality of potions droped
      4. The local witches can't compete and closes

  • @jayjo4485
    @jayjo4485 2 роки тому +60

    0:18 - "not generalize based on stereotypes, so I'm going to try my best not to be judgmental"
    "Number 5. All Wizards are perverts"

  • @GraveUypo
    @GraveUypo Рік тому +3

    One time i paired with a wizard to do a quest that involved defeating highly agile skeletal warriors. They were super hard to hit as their speed was inhuman and they were numerous. The wizard, trying to be helpful, figured he would solve this issue with it with a massive quagmire spell. Sure, the skeletons slowed right now. But so did I, and so did he. In fact, he was drowning in his own stupid spell and i had to scramble to rescue him while running away in slow motion from sluggish skeletons in a bog. My peers mock me for it to this day. I'll never live that one down. It wasn't even my fault, damnit!

  • @tashunagray7720
    @tashunagray7720 4 місяці тому +2

    3:14 personally, I feel like if we were to have contracts for people to be turned into skeletons after death, there would be less problems

  • @Ani
    @Ani 2 роки тому +227

    So fuckin true man. Magicians, as well. Hate 'em. Cannot imagine what it takes for someone to become one of those.

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 роки тому +20

      DO NOT INSULT MAGICIANS ID YOU DONT WANT TO GET *pigeoned*

    • @creditsunknown7974
      @creditsunknown7974 2 роки тому +6

      @Soldier [TF2] Hey atleast you werent *_pigeoned_*

    • @junconglin
      @junconglin 2 роки тому

      @Soldier [TF2] you ate all his die and come back stronger pills

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 роки тому +5

      Magicians are like wizards, but they get the short end of the stick for using illusions

    • @cockroachteeth
      @cockroachteeth 2 роки тому +1

      Okay I get what you're saying but magicians are no where near as bad as wizards. I've never met a good wizard I have met like 1 cool magician

  • @uberhenrik3128
    @uberhenrik3128 2 роки тому +108

    Wow, this video made me felt like this guy is really living in a dimension where wizards are really useless
    Thankfully, where I live wizards are functional members of society!

    • @valletas
      @valletas Рік тому +7

      The one i live wizards are incels...

    • @pedrohenriquedecarvalhogon1453
      @pedrohenriquedecarvalhogon1453 11 місяців тому +2

      In here wizards just turn everything in sheeps for some reason

    • @featherlikescartoons5098
      @featherlikescartoons5098 11 місяців тому +10

      Where I live we don't have Wizards, but we do have Time-travelers infestations, which is arguably worse
      a week ago I was just drinking my goddamn coffee when a bunch of time tourists popped outside my window and took pictures of me. The tour guide was saying something like, "witness the lifestyle of our 21st century ancestors" or some crap. And they keep ajusting the course of history once ever three hours

  • @thecheesen
    @thecheesen Рік тому +3

    Reminds me of the time that one wizard at a party i was in just randomly started ranting about Dragons. Naturally there weren't any at the party (wizards are so cowardly, smh) but my kobold friend was _pissed._ Hasn't come back from the stellar dimension yet.

  • @pieoflords5082
    @pieoflords5082 Рік тому +8

    I agree that wizards are bad, but the use of magic isn't too terrible. My dad inherited a bit of talent from my grandma, U'dona the Crimson, and it helped him out a lot on clearing out some of the zombie pits those necromancers has been putting out as pranks. Now I personally don't know all that magic, all I really know is how to warm up my hands which is really nice in the winter. I do have to concentrate while I do it and it'll burn my gloves if i'm not careful, but still pretty cool. I've been talking to this eldritch being and he's been saying I should work with him to get some better magic, but I'm not really ready for that kind of commitment, y'know? Like I dont have anything wrong with incomprehensible horrors from another dimension but do I really know him as a person? What if I join him and he turns out to be the one turning the sky red? I don't wanna work with someone who's out here graffitiing the sky, that's a pretty irresponsible thing to do. Maybe I should just play the bass like grandpa

  • @realkingofantarctica
    @realkingofantarctica 2 роки тому +240

    If I could pick between having magic and having a gun, I would pick the gun so I could smelt it down and have a knife instead.

    • @henryfleischer404
      @henryfleischer404 2 роки тому +30

      But with magic you can cut a steak, open a box, or knock somebody out. Can you do that with a knife?

    • @SrangePerson_
      @SrangePerson_ 2 роки тому +22

      @@henryfleischer404 Yes

    • @TheKeyboardCowboy
      @TheKeyboardCowboy 2 роки тому +8

      Why melt it into a knife, when you could have a hammer instead?

    • @personperson8712
      @personperson8712 2 роки тому +5

      @@TheKeyboardCowboy why choose a gun when you can use forbidden deadly spells?

    • @Ani-yt4nf
      @Ani-yt4nf 2 роки тому +7

      Nonononono, RAW STEEL is what you want to get, not a knife. Gotta have those metals for minerals to consume. Yummy

  • @amergingiles
    @amergingiles 2 роки тому +62

    As a wizard I agree entirely.

  • @Terrahex1
    @Terrahex1 3 місяці тому +2

    I absolutely love how you put the "I respect everyone" line before the "All Wizards are perverts" line.

  • @alfieravenguard4594
    @alfieravenguard4594 3 місяці тому +2

    For real! One time I was working at Arbys and a some old farts just teleported into the kitchen and started conjuring green goo in the frying machine and even turned our lettuce supply to a lettuce golem. I got unjustly fired because I didnt kick them out, but was I supposed to do if when they suddenly opened a portal to who knows where and sucked all the prepped burgers away?

  • @silent0089
    @silent0089 2 роки тому +238

    Mattias: let's not be too judgemental
    also Mattias: *_WIZARDS ARE PERVERTS_*

    • @TheCat_3
      @TheCat_3 Рік тому +6

      He's not judging, it's just a fact

  • @ezurth
    @ezurth 2 роки тому +92

    hear me out hear me out, a wizard that has a love for magic and repairing cars and infrastructure. that's the mechanic i would want

    • @saqvobase4301
      @saqvobase4301 2 роки тому +9

      Magical mechanic would be cool

    • @angieulaka
      @angieulaka 2 роки тому +16

      oh yeah! it might take a little longer to get repairs done, and it is slightly disconcerting how my truck slowly drains the lifeforce of the grass to sustain the ghost of a victorian pit pony, But I've yet to find a 10mm socket the hard way.

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 роки тому +4

      The problem is the wizards and engineers who do collaborations always seem to create something dangerous or unstable over something practical.

    • @FerretyZebra
      @FerretyZebra 2 роки тому +1

      @@andrewgreeb916 thats not true only 1/3 of all Wizard and engineer creations try to take over the world

    • @bobthebob6444
      @bobthebob6444 2 роки тому +3

      I think you are looking for an artificer?

  • @geoff9012
    @geoff9012 Рік тому

    What really got me was the ad at the end.

  • @user-cy5ou5jy7k
    @user-cy5ou5jy7k 3 місяці тому +2

    2:17 ok hear me out, what if we make magic and technology work together?? bullets that magically pierce through all objects, bullet proof vests that make you go invisible, metal arms and such that are animated by magic to be limbs for people who don't have any, flying cars, probably more idk

  • @terrafletcher1930
    @terrafletcher1930 2 роки тому +199

    It just felt so honest until he started promoting the fighters guild even though I didn't agree or have any idea how or why the other issues would ever be thought of! I guess I'm susceptible to propaganda 😕

    • @brainfard5940
      @brainfard5940 2 роки тому +18

      YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA.

    • @jtyranus
      @jtyranus 2 роки тому +9

      @@brainfard5940 But I am wearing my periapt of proof against propaganda. . . that I bought from a wizard.

  • @tally9542
    @tally9542 2 роки тому +48

    FINALLY someone is saying something. My father works as the town fire-fighter and the ammount of magical fires he's had to put out from old men wizards going crazy is absurd. #BeNormalNotMagical

    • @valletas
      @valletas Рік тому +7

      Are you sure these arent the work of fairies? One time i saw them burning down my house while recording me and my wife crying as a "prank" for clout

    • @TheNinja94a
      @TheNinja94a Рік тому +2

      @@valletas YOU BURNED MY HOUSE TO THE GROUND

    • @willam1992
      @willam1992 Рік тому +1

      The randomly exploding towers are also an issue. I miss my glass windows :(

    • @olasdorosdiliusimilius2174
      @olasdorosdiliusimilius2174 10 місяців тому

      ​@@valletas Aren't fairies the ones who steal children? What do they do with them? Probably a bunch of pedophiles or something.

    • @mailcs06
      @mailcs06 7 місяців тому +1

      Sorry, I was born with Excessive Unstable Magic Syndrome so I literally can't be normal or I'll explode :(

  • @asoupyferretnamedfar3634
    @asoupyferretnamedfar3634 3 місяці тому +1

    I absolutely love this way of world building, its so much fun and is a joy to watch

  • @thefailus4550
    @thefailus4550 4 місяці тому +2

    magically conjured gold is getting out of hand

  • @OtherMomo
    @OtherMomo 2 роки тому +63

    Counterpoint: magehand. I believe I can learn enough wizardry to aquire this spell, and then go on to do other things, but with a magical third hand with a range further than my armspan and a strength at least slightly more so than my own physical amount.

    • @eainjones9509
      @eainjones9509 2 роки тому +11

      >mage hand
      >slightly more than my own physical [strength]
      Maybe you should just go full wizard and get telekinesis. Better yet go to a gym and befriend a Barbarian or Paladin they'll help.

    • @OtherMomo
      @OtherMomo 2 роки тому +5

      @@eainjones9509 maybe even considering the use.of magehand is too much of a slippery slope

    • @andrewgreeb916
      @andrewgreeb916 2 роки тому +1

      Oh sure, cause you wanted to remind the world about phantom groping.
      Great spell, great for lazily grabbing stuff you can't reach or don't want to touch, but you get a real stink eye casting that in public

    • @fattytan1377
      @fattytan1377 2 роки тому

      @@andrewgreeb916 "yo can you get that can for me?"
      "Thanks"

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 3 місяці тому

      Lazy wizards don't even want to use THEIR OWN HANDS anymore

  • @krieg1583
    @krieg1583 2 роки тому +34

    Two more years and i will turn into a wizard, hope my future isn't so magical

  • @Twisted_Code
    @Twisted_Code 10 місяців тому +1

    The spell book at 0:50 made me crack up so hard. Magical whip, boost stamina... Yeah we know what those are for

  • @jblockman_59nunyabidnis68
    @jblockman_59nunyabidnis68 Рік тому +3

    Question: does this apply to rune makers who augment their physical weapons with magic runes?
    Take for example: placing 70 fireball trap runes on a bullet with a 2 inch detection radius.

  • @EvetheFurry
    @EvetheFurry 2 роки тому +11

    0:42
    “2 years, 17 days”
    “What?”
    “From a stroke. GOOD DAY!” *runs in the other direction*

  • @FaeriePrince
    @FaeriePrince 2 роки тому +39

    Not all wizards are old! I mean, I'm so incredibly youthful. I'm only a few thousand years old, but I do agree that this dark magic fad has to stop. I mean, just become a warlock at that point and stop giving wizards a bad rap!

  • @johncarnett2668
    @johncarnett2668 Рік тому +8

    2:59
    Look at the top right x-ray photograph. Those are boobs.
    There are no lumps on that wizards chest.
    What dark sorcery is this?!
    Probably forging medical documents, but...
    Black magic, maybe?

  • @Paper_paper
    @Paper_paper 11 місяців тому +3

    Nobody:
    Absolutely nobody:
    TF2 players when Halloween starts:

  • @ZelphTheWebmancer
    @ZelphTheWebmancer 2 роки тому +17

    As a Warlock of the Dark God Bhaal I can confirm the red sky and the gates of hell opening is the fault of Wizards.

    • @technic1285
      @technic1285 Рік тому +1

      As a battlemage and devout follower of Crüthtar, Summoner of Red Skies, I too blame the wizards.

  • @monkeman7601
    @monkeman7601 2 роки тому +71

    I as a fellow wizard hatist i can assure you they are terrible beings

    • @protoncode3024
      @protoncode3024 2 роки тому +1

      👀

    • @shytendeakatamanoir9740
      @shytendeakatamanoir9740 2 роки тому +5

      I am a Wizard Hat Maker and... Well, I would agree.
      They're so stingy for people that can create infinite money. And they have such crazy demands as well! They all want to have the tallest, most ornate one to see how important they are.
      I mean, they're still better than bards I guess...

    • @Neion8
      @Neion8 2 роки тому

      @@shytendeakatamanoir9740 Idk man, when you see what some of them do to their familiars... *shudder*

  • @seaside3218
    @seaside3218 11 місяців тому +1

    This guy did a good job of creating this fictional modern fantasy world

  • @pepsiatlas5452
    @pepsiatlas5452 4 місяці тому +2

    The concept of wizards has been completely overwritten in my brain with them being absolute hooligans that wreck arbys'