Interrupting Victim-blaming
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- Опубліковано 6 сер 2024
- "Why didn't you report?"
"Why don't you just leave?"
"What were you wearing?"
Victim-blaming statements show up everyday in our work. This webinar recording is intended to provide an overview of what victim-blaming is, reasons why we engage in victim-blaming, how it harms survivors of violence, and ways we can interrupt victim-blaming when it comes up. New and seasoned advocates are welcome to view this webinar.
Very good guys. Thanks for making this public. I can tell it was intended for workers in this field but it’s helpful in general. I like many of the points and became aware of a time I recently did this to someone close to me. Now I can go to them and apologize. And be aware if this in the future. Also, when I was a victim of major crimes, I was blamed over and over. So guess I passed that on. It’s not okay though and I want it to end with me! We all need to watch this and examine ourselves in the light of truth and awareness of how we can affect others and outcomes, no matter how small our responses are, they can make a big impact to someone who is dealing with trauma. Thanks again for the work you do and for making this public.
This is an important discussion thank you
I want to share this with my son's. I know for definite it's one of them mentality. I was broken into my son said it was my fault because the lock wasn't on.
I know I could never go to them for help as it would be my fault. 🤷♀️
Wow that story was powerful I definitely will be checking out channel
My "friend" victim blamed me and deleted some messages to cover up. They made me seem like the bad guy... only 1 person was on my side! I got over the fight then became friends again. But when I thought we were friends and I said "hi bestie" she said "after what you did?" I dont understand what I did when all I was doing was defending myself. Sure somethings are my fault but when its hers she always makes me apologize! If I try to say something about what shes doing shes like "why are you defending her" why am I always the problem to her. The amount of times she made me cry is horrible.
Maybe reflect on why you return to a person who is hurting you.. 🌸
@@annastone5624 I definitely had some abandonment issues from past trauma but I'm better now and I dropped her and I'm definitely not going back to her ever again.
@@Imhotasf_ Well done! I totally empathise with the abandonment issues. That's great you identified that. That's been one of my things too.
Good luck in healing codependency and people pleasing that abuse survivors fall into. It can feel like a recycling pattern. You seem to be on a good path. Best of luck in finding your strength. Definitely seems like that person is not a friend. Healing your inner child, as you might already know, will help you know people who don’t love you, can harm you, and you feel the need to please them to get affection. You deserve affection without having to do this. You deserve it no matter what.
@@annastone5624 Yeah but therapy definitely helps a lot!! ♥️
Y’all thanks so much for this training.
🙏🏽❣️
Yes, but what was your FIRST thought? I've been subjected to shaming so severe it impedes my recovery, but my immediate reaction was to blame the wife. Nevertheless, understanding what causes doubt and blame does not heal the damage. Caring for a child could excuse a victim, but it's more likely to be construed as risky or even reckless, esp by someone who could've helped.
I see, hear and speak no evil.
I am above all that.
Bad things happens only to bad people.
This would never happen to me, because I am in control of myself.
i agree
@@susiesa8295 🦋♥️
what?
Are they examples of victim blaming or what you actually believe...?
@@StopSmearCampaigns yes - that is the mental State of all victimblaming
Curious on how asking someone: "Why didn't you report?" makes the victim LESS likely to report that and future crimes. That is not true.
???
Provide data for your assertion??
@@beverlycunningham6874There is no data for mine or the opposite assertion, obviously. Because this meets a very specific condition. Data is not collected for these low conditional probability instances.
I am going by what is the most reasonable expectation. I would bet money that if a friend I trust encouraged me to report my rape I would not be statistically less likely to report that rape as opposed to the hypothetical where my friend doesn't raise that question. This is my comment in a more elaborate way, I struggle to see a world where that is not the default assumption.
You have touched upon a very critical issue where people conflate two things and ask one question and think they are asking another question. You are conflating two different questions. The question is not a situation where someone has “suggested” to the victim to report the rape. The question asked to the victim is “why did you not tell anyone?”. Suggesting that the person tell someone or report is a VERY DIFFERENT SITUATION. You are not blaming the victim or questioning that because they didn’t do something it means they must have not had such a big problem with the assault.
Those are not the same question. A lot of times people ask a different question and think they’re asking another question. Asking why a victim didn’t do something makes them feel they didn’t do something enough to protect themselves. A victim does EVERYTHING they could do to protect themselves. You just put the responsibility and blame on the victim.
That is a judgement and when you make a victim who is already blaming themselves (victims of assault usually blame themselves as a psychological coping mechanism) feel like they didn’t do enough, they feel even LESS empowered to protect themselves, because they are already spiralling in self-blame.
@@jadegreen1554 The criticism of "one is retrospective bs, one is encouragement" is completely fair, I'll give you that, those are completely different, one is usually good, one is usually bad. I was thinking of the past tense like: "yesterday X happened, why didn't you report? You still have time.". And not "I got raped as a minor". "Why didn't you report?"
However, "why don't/didn't you report", is tautologically a stupid question. Everyone knows that sounds aggressive, smug and unfruitful, victim blamers don't actually think they belong in this category. The other issue is that the encouragement is within a spectrum of "this is hurtful" "this is effective". Many people can put both categories into *victim blaming*. And victim blaming is basically defined to be ontologically bad and eliminates all thought.