This is the #1 thing I was warned my pregnant friends about. You will resent your husband. You just will. Because no matter what, you are going to be doing more. For me the 'seasons of life' mentality was v helpful, as was the 'don't make any major decisions in the first year post baby' advice.
Men do more than women for 95% of the relationship and it’s not accepted or encouraged for them to be resentful. So it’s not appropriate or okay for women when for the first time they feel what it’s like to be busy and working hard, to resent the man. Especially since 99% of the time it’s the woman’s idea and push to have children to begin with.
Not true. Before having a baby my husband and I both worked full time hours. We both cooked meals, and cleaned around the house. I did inside and outside chores. I didn't pressure my husband at all to have a baby. He wanted it way more than I did and he loves being a father. You can't say all relationships are like that. Every woman is different.
@@moderngoblinif you don’t know yet, I’ll let you know on a little secret! If you have a husband and have sex, babies will come naturally, it is nature s push, no need to point fingers at who wanted babies, unless you point it up to heaven.
Hello from Scotland! I've only just recently discovered your channel and what I've watched so far has been so helpful. I'm a mum to a wonderful 13 month old boy. I love being a mum and adore my husband but man this past year has been a struggle! Just being able to verbalise what I'm feeling has been the biggest struggle, and there have definitely been times I've felt resentment towards my husband (and he's a brilliant husband and dad). We'd done so much personal work on ourselves individually and as a couple before we had our little boy but becoming parents has made us see there is always work to do on ourselves, that never ends. Thank you for making this video, it's made me feel a little less like I'm going crazy 😂❤
Thank you for this message Jess! Very much encouraged me & just sent to a couple girlfriends I know will benefit from it too. Thank you for your courage to also share your faith in Jesus. Your honesty and humility continue to encourage me in my motherhood & personal relationship with Jesus. From one sister in Christ to another. 🥰
❤ thank you for doing what you do on your brilliant channel! Feeling so encouraged by your content as a new mum 😊 Thank you for making mum life so relatable with your honesty and anecdotes.
Hello Jessica, your channel automatically appeared on my live feed! At first I was annoyed with YT, I was listening to another video! ALAS! BOOM !! you started talking about how having a new baby or adopted can affect your relationship with your spouse or mate!! Where the heck were you 30 years ago when I needed help. I agree with every breath in my soul- that my communication was poor with my spouse! Stress with a newborn-- dang it! No one told me how hard this was going to be a new Momma! Ladies listen to Jessica I agree with her whole heartedly- You are giving wise advice!! No I was not paid to agree with Jessica. I am new to her channel I don't even know what your platform is about!! But I will start watching your channel! UA-cam you got this one right! Thank you for recommending Jessica's channel. BTW, i look forward to watching your channel! 💙💞💞🙌🏽🙌🏽🤸🏾🤸🏾🤸🏾😊🙏🏾🎶🎶👠🎶🎶
Hi! Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I’m so glad my video resonated with you. It’s amazing how many of us can relate to the challenges of communication and stress that come with new parenthood. It sounds like you have some valuable insights from your own experience! I truly appreciate your support and enthusiasm for the channel. It’s never too late to find helpful resources, and I’m thrilled you’re joining us! I hope you find more content that speaks to you and supports your journey. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts, and I look forward to connecting with you more in the future! 💖
I find all your videos and podcasts deeply healing ❤ please keep putting out content. I keep re-listening to podcast videos because they make me feel less lonely.
Hi Jess, thank you for including those of us from same-sex partnerships raising little ones. To your question about how same-sex couples experience relationship changes after kids enter the picture, im not sure everyone's experience as is the same as with heterosexual couples. In our case, postpartum mood disorders played a huge role in relationship rifts. Loathing my spouse is what made me realize i was struggling with postpartum PSTD and depression and I'm so grateful that realization got through the brain fog. I trust and love my spouse more now than ever, with our second little one approaching for years later. Love you! Plan to join VGMC when the little guy arrives ❤
Thank you for making this video. I don't think I've ever seen a video from you before, so God must have set my path toward you. I've been struggling through these feelings with my husband and felt so alone, but have also been seeing too many of our friends getting divorces. Thank you for the hope in this video and the normalcy of these issues. God bless 🙌
Oh my goodness, a Christian that is not homophobic. This is so nice to see. I followed you nearly 10 years ago after watching a video of you talking about religion and how you went on to become Christian (I believe?) You were going to a bible camp (maybe?) Sorry, memory is not great lol but your story stuck with me. You admitted your wrongs, not being sober the night before going and admitting to negative thoughts. Stuck around for your other content (parenting and such) and general energy. Haven’t seen a video of you in yeeeaarrrsss (haven’t been on UA-cam much besides like 2 podcasts). You seem so genuine and understanding, which is so different from the “Christians” around me. You are the first person who made me ever actually consider Christianity. If God is real, you are testament to that. Thank you for the willingness to open up to us and being a wonderful example. Even after all these years, you’ve now got me thinking more about God again. And this is coming from a bi sexual woman who feels like they would never be accepted in the church if honest. Anyway, sorry for the rant, thanks for the great video 🫶
We're not all bad ☺️ God says for us to love our neighbors, you're my neighbor. I'm sorry homophobic Christians have been your example of Christians. Hope you have an amazing day!
Wow! Thank you for being here and taking the time to write a sweet comment! There is so much I want to say to you but for now I just hope you find the loving community you deserve. ❤️❤️
Such a good video title HA. Comforting to know that everyone goes through this when they have kids. Totally agree re: chatting about the tougher topics on walks. When there are things on the running list in my head that i want to chat with my husband about i find myself avoiding bringing things up bc i know the confrontation will feel accusatory and intense. And then we’ll end up on a walk or a long drive and he magically brings up the exact same topics on the list totally unprompted. I think like you said, both people looking forward helps, plus it’s the only time our kids are asleep or distracted. Just finding a second to speak to one another (that’s not at 11pm when we’re fried) feels impossible sometimes. Thanks for this vid & cute beach waves ☺️
This happened with our first child. My partner and I realized we had different communication styles, and i had post partum depression. Luckily, the second kid was way easier since we knew how to communicate with one another and I went ahead and got a script for my ppd meds after i left the hospital.
No tips from me, but yes, the time heals the hate. My level of hate was something else. I wished my husbands ☠️ almost every single day. Now baby is 3yo and I didint even noticed when exactly things in my head got normal again
What you said about the dad having not much change because mom becomes the stay at home mom got me thinking of my situation and honestly I don't know how to process it. I had my son and was on maternity leave until he was 8 months, then went back to work full time with childcare. When my son was about 18 months old my husband started staying home with him and stopped working. We're both working again now (little one is 3 years old), I'm working full time and my husband does a couple of hours 4 days a week, we do have childcare though so when he's not working he has time to himself and our son is at nursery. Both when my husband was staying at home and now when I get home from work he behaves like his parenting duties are over and it's my turn, however I have been working all day and he's done maybe 2 hours and has had the rest of the day to himself but acts like I'm selfish for wanting to share responsibilities when I get home. All this to say, for stay at home moms that I'm assuming have it the other way around: am I being ridiculous? Should I not be asking for help?
You are not being ridiculous! My husband is the stay at home parent currently while I work full time. When I get home from work, we both work to put dinner on the table. We both do cleanup/activities with the kids in the evenings. And we both do bedtime. The goal for us is that after the kids are in bed we both get to sit down to rest. Nothing is perfectly equal since I’m still nursing, but if there’s work to be done we’re both doing it. It’s our house and our kids, we both put time into keeping things running smoothly!
Hi! 🌹It's completely understandable to feel the way you do, and you're definitely not being ridiculous for wanting to share responsibilities at home. Parenting is a team effort, regardless of who is working outside the home or who is staying home. Your experience highlights the importance of communication and setting expectations around household and parenting duties. It sounds like you both have busy schedules, and it’s important for both partners to feel supported and valued. It might help to have an open conversation with your husband about how you're feeling. Share your perspective and express why you believe it's important to share the responsibilities, especially after a long day at work. Maybe you can come up with a plan together that allows for both of you to have time for yourselves as well as time to engage in parenting duties. Remember, it's okay to ask for help and to seek balance in your partnership. You're both doing a lot, and finding a way to support each other can make a big difference in your overall well-being. Sending love! ❤️
Listen up little girl, if you hate your husband & child for Gods sake & your family's sake, get a divorcen & let them find a Real Woman who knows how to be a good wife & mother!!
Who hates their child?? And what “little girl” are you talking to? Unless it’s me and you think I look young. Thank you. 💃🏼 PS. You CLEARLY didn’t watch the video. 😘
Dear goodness @SarahMarie-j2n I’m so sorry for your delusions or perhaps you’re a troll in a dark room somewhere-yeah that could be it-sending light & love to you to make it out alive…you couldn’t be more wrong…
This is the #1 thing I was warned my pregnant friends about. You will resent your husband. You just will. Because no matter what, you are going to be doing more. For me the 'seasons of life' mentality was v helpful, as was the 'don't make any major decisions in the first year post baby' advice.
I LOVE that advice!! thank you ❤️
Men do more than women for 95% of the relationship and it’s not accepted or encouraged for them to be resentful. So it’s not appropriate or okay for women when for the first time they feel what it’s like to be busy and working hard, to resent the man. Especially since 99% of the time it’s the woman’s idea and push to have children to begin with.
Not true. Before having a baby my husband and I both worked full time hours. We both cooked meals, and cleaned around the house. I did inside and outside chores. I didn't pressure my husband at all to have a baby. He wanted it way more than I did and he loves being a father.
You can't say all relationships are like that. Every woman is different.
@@moderngoblinif you don’t know yet, I’ll let you know on a little secret! If you have a husband and have sex, babies will come naturally, it is nature s push, no need to point fingers at who wanted babies, unless you point it up to heaven.
Hello from Scotland! I've only just recently discovered your channel and what I've watched so far has been so helpful. I'm a mum to a wonderful 13 month old boy. I love being a mum and adore my husband but man this past year has been a struggle! Just being able to verbalise what I'm feeling has been the biggest struggle, and there have definitely been times I've felt resentment towards my husband (and he's a brilliant husband and dad). We'd done so much personal work on ourselves individually and as a couple before we had our little boy but becoming parents has made us see there is always work to do on ourselves, that never ends. Thank you for making this video, it's made me feel a little less like I'm going crazy 😂❤
Thank you for this message Jess! Very much encouraged me & just sent to a couple girlfriends I know will benefit from it too. Thank you for your courage to also share your faith in Jesus. Your honesty and humility continue to encourage me in my motherhood & personal relationship with Jesus. From one sister in Christ to another. 🥰
❤ thank you for doing what you do on your brilliant channel! Feeling so encouraged by your content as a new mum 😊 Thank you for making mum life so relatable with your honesty and anecdotes.
Thank you so much! Your words made my day. ❤️
Hello Jessica, your channel automatically appeared on my live feed! At first I was annoyed with YT, I was listening to another video! ALAS! BOOM !! you started talking about how having a new baby or adopted can affect your relationship with your spouse or mate!! Where the heck were you 30 years ago when I needed help. I agree with every breath in my soul- that my communication was poor with my spouse! Stress with a newborn-- dang it! No one told me how hard this was going to be a new Momma! Ladies listen to Jessica I agree with her whole heartedly- You are giving wise advice!! No I was not paid to agree with Jessica. I am new to her channel I don't even know what your platform is about!! But I will start watching your channel! UA-cam you got this one right! Thank you for recommending Jessica's channel. BTW, i look forward to watching your channel! 💙💞💞🙌🏽🙌🏽🤸🏾🤸🏾🤸🏾😊🙏🏾🎶🎶👠🎶🎶
Hi! Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I’m so glad my video resonated with you. It’s amazing how many of us can relate to the challenges of communication and stress that come with new parenthood. It sounds like you have some valuable insights from your own experience!
I truly appreciate your support and enthusiasm for the channel. It’s never too late to find helpful resources, and I’m thrilled you’re joining us! I hope you find more content that speaks to you and supports your journey. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts, and I look forward to connecting with you more in the future! 💖
I find all your videos and podcasts deeply healing ❤ please keep putting out content. I keep re-listening to podcast videos because they make me feel less lonely.
@@MrCarson212 thank you so much ❤️❤️ what an encouraging thing to say. I really appreciate it!
Just what I needed to hear today 🙏
You are my emotional support human on the internet hahah I love your sense of humour too you make me laugh which I needed xx
Awww that’s such a high compliment 🥰🥰 thank you!
This was so lovely. Thank you 💖
Thank you!! 🙏🏼💛
Hi Jess, thank you for including those of us from same-sex partnerships raising little ones. To your question about how same-sex couples experience relationship changes after kids enter the picture, im not sure everyone's experience as is the same as with heterosexual couples. In our case, postpartum mood disorders played a huge role in relationship rifts. Loathing my spouse is what made me realize i was struggling with postpartum PSTD and depression and I'm so grateful that realization got through the brain fog. I trust and love my spouse more now than ever, with our second little one approaching for years later. Love you! Plan to join VGMC when the little guy arrives ❤
This was an amazing video; very insightful. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful! Thank you!! 💛💛
Thank you for making this video. I don't think I've ever seen a video from you before, so God must have set my path toward you. I've been struggling through these feelings with my husband and felt so alone, but have also been seeing too many of our friends getting divorces. Thank you for the hope in this video and the normalcy of these issues. God bless 🙌
Aw I am so happy it was helpful! Thank you for being here!! ❤️❤️ hang in there.
Oh my goodness, a Christian that is not homophobic. This is so nice to see. I followed you nearly 10 years ago after watching a video of you talking about religion and how you went on to become Christian (I believe?) You were going to a bible camp (maybe?) Sorry, memory is not great lol but your story stuck with me. You admitted your wrongs, not being sober the night before going and admitting to negative thoughts. Stuck around for your other content (parenting and such) and general energy. Haven’t seen a video of you in yeeeaarrrsss (haven’t been on UA-cam much besides like 2 podcasts). You seem so genuine and understanding, which is so different from the “Christians” around me. You are the first person who made me ever actually consider Christianity. If God is real, you are testament to that. Thank you for the willingness to open up to us and being a wonderful example. Even after all these years, you’ve now got me thinking more about God again. And this is coming from a bi sexual woman who feels like they would never be accepted in the church if honest. Anyway, sorry for the rant, thanks for the great video 🫶
We're not all bad ☺️ God says for us to love our neighbors, you're my neighbor. I'm sorry homophobic Christians have been your example of Christians. Hope you have an amazing day!
Wow! Thank you for being here and taking the time to write a sweet comment! There is so much I want to say to you but for now I just hope you find the loving community you deserve. ❤️❤️
Such a good video title HA. Comforting to know that everyone goes through this when they have kids. Totally agree re: chatting about the tougher topics on walks. When there are things on the running list in my head that i want to chat with my husband about i find myself avoiding bringing things up bc i know the confrontation will feel accusatory and intense. And then we’ll end up on a walk or a long drive and he magically brings up the exact same topics on the list totally unprompted. I think like you said, both people looking forward helps, plus it’s the only time our kids are asleep or distracted. Just finding a second to speak to one another (that’s not at 11pm when we’re fried) feels impossible sometimes. Thanks for this vid & cute beach waves ☺️
Thank you!! Yes to everything you said ❤️❤️
I could've listened to you talk all day about this
@@Dray91613 thank you so much 💛
Love this!❤
This happened with our first child. My partner and I realized we had different communication styles, and i had post partum depression. Luckily, the second kid was way easier since we knew how to communicate with one another and I went ahead and got a script for my ppd meds after i left the hospital.
No tips from me, but yes, the time heals the hate. My level of hate was something else. I wished my husbands ☠️ almost every single day. Now baby is 3yo and I didint even noticed when exactly things in my head got normal again
What you said about the dad having not much change because mom becomes the stay at home mom got me thinking of my situation and honestly I don't know how to process it.
I had my son and was on maternity leave until he was 8 months, then went back to work full time with childcare.
When my son was about 18 months old my husband started staying home with him and stopped working.
We're both working again now (little one is 3 years old), I'm working full time and my husband does a couple of hours 4 days a week, we do have childcare though so when he's not working he has time to himself and our son is at nursery.
Both when my husband was staying at home and now when I get home from work he behaves like his parenting duties are over and it's my turn, however I have been working all day and he's done maybe 2 hours and has had the rest of the day to himself but acts like I'm selfish for wanting to share responsibilities when I get home.
All this to say, for stay at home moms that I'm assuming have it the other way around: am I being ridiculous? Should I not be asking for help?
Sorry, that's way longer than intended 😅
You are not being ridiculous! My husband is the stay at home parent currently while I work full time. When I get home from work, we both work to put dinner on the table. We both do cleanup/activities with the kids in the evenings. And we both do bedtime. The goal for us is that after the kids are in bed we both get to sit down to rest. Nothing is perfectly equal since I’m still nursing, but if there’s work to be done we’re both doing it. It’s our house and our kids, we both put time into keeping things running smoothly!
You aren’t ridiculous and he needs to continue helping when you get off work.
Hi! 🌹It's completely understandable to feel the way you do, and you're definitely not being ridiculous for wanting to share responsibilities at home. Parenting is a team effort, regardless of who is working outside the home or who is staying home. Your experience highlights the importance of communication and setting expectations around household and parenting duties.
It sounds like you both have busy schedules, and it’s important for both partners to feel supported and valued. It might help to have an open conversation with your husband about how you're feeling. Share your perspective and express why you believe it's important to share the responsibilities, especially after a long day at work. Maybe you can come up with a plan together that allows for both of you to have time for yourselves as well as time to engage in parenting duties.
Remember, it's okay to ask for help and to seek balance in your partnership. You're both doing a lot, and finding a way to support each other can make a big difference in your overall well-being. Sending love! ❤️
How do I become part of your mom’s club or coaching program?
verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/plans/390001?bundle_token=fc097d6fd3ad5ccb83727e849330ae95&
I don't hate my husband, I divorced him 😄 My babe turned 4 too recently xx
Haha aw happy birthday to your babe and way to get things handled! ❤️
Listen up little girl, if you hate your husband & child for Gods sake & your family's sake, get a divorcen & let them find a Real Woman who knows how to be a good wife & mother!!
Who hates their child?? And what “little girl” are you talking to? Unless it’s me and you think I look young. Thank you. 💃🏼 PS. You CLEARLY didn’t watch the video. 😘
Dear goodness @SarahMarie-j2n I’m so sorry for your delusions or perhaps you’re a troll in a dark room somewhere-yeah that could be it-sending light & love to you to make it out alive…you couldn’t be more wrong…
Wow you suck