Pen & Pen: Fatherhood | Contrasting uMlotshwa as a Father & Our Type of Parenting

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  • Опубліковано 29 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 65

  • @nonkolo_faith
    @nonkolo_faith Рік тому +13

    I just get so proud when I see you two working together... I just imagine my own two boys! :) Great set of genes there by you mom and dad... you mom must incredibly proud of her beautiful and intelligent boys! She has done a phenomenal job! I always love the conversation here and I wish you all the best! ❤

  • @fionasmith6686
    @fionasmith6686 Рік тому +6

    1:01:12 ... With regards to motherhood. One thing that frustrates me about my relationship with my mother, now that I have just entered my 20's, I wish she would make this transition, of treating me like I'm grown instead of treating me like a child. Kinda builds resentment coz it's as if she doesn't respect me.

    • @banziimavusotv
      @banziimavusotv Рік тому

      I can relate and I cut myself off from my family. Black women infantalize their women, adult children - it's disgusting. You have to learn to give yourself the respect you know you deserve and surround yourself with people who love and care and treat you with love and dignity.

    • @palesamogorosi8939
      @palesamogorosi8939 Рік тому

      @@banziimavusotv I am you and you are me. I think at times, our mothers also have their own traumas that spill into our own lives. It's a cycle. In their minds they are protecting us, but in reality that's not protection. It does more harm than good.

    • @PRINCO95.
      @PRINCO95. Рік тому

      MY FATHER TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD TOO , HE ALWAYS TELLS ME NOT STRESS ABT LIFE HE IS RESPONSIBLE TO FIX MY LIFE ..EISH ... I WANNA EXPERIENCE LIFE

  • @lesetjamamabolo1643
    @lesetjamamabolo1643 Рік тому +15

    I'm that present single father raising a daughter and I realise that parenting should be a tag team thing. You can only stretch yourself so far and I think she needs the dynamics of a mother especially now that she's about to become a teenage and going through changes physically which I can't/difficult to facilitate. I especially feel that there has to be the bad/good character switch in dealing with parenting. It's difficult to even think of travelling or getting work that will involve me to a point where I'm away for times and I've mentioned this before that I can't be in those spaces even though I live with my brother but he plays a little or no role in bringing her up. She doesn't get the best of both worlds even she does from time to time visit her mom on weekends and it's not every weekend. And now that she is older, she sees things that her mom does that she sometimes is reluctant to go visit. Dating is challenging too in that you don't want to expose your daughter to your female companions who will influence how she looks at dating and parenting because at some point you let them interact and that comes with repucations. She is also jealous and insecure about my girlfriends replacing her and even though we do talk about it but she is not matured enough to understand my needs and so dating does take a backseat and only after a certain time he's lapsed and I feel comfortable to introducing them to each other. At times I feel I could send her to a boarding school so I can have the space to grow and explore opportunities that will benefit us in terms of jobs since I'm self employed. It's not easy and being that she is a girl, you can never too harsh and they do take advantage of that daddy's girl notions. It's not easy trying to play two roles on your own and school work does becoming a challenge since you can't always be available

    • @5995Jiol
      @5995Jiol Рік тому +2

      I was raised by my dad and yes he did his best but your daughter will need her mom so much especially through puberty, just be her safe space emotionally, that will play a big role.

    • @khanyisagura4377
      @khanyisagura4377 Рік тому +2

      Woe brother. Strength to you. I'm proud of you. I it's hard but it seems like you are all she has. I send you my love and light on your journey.

    • @lesetjamamabolo1643
      @lesetjamamabolo1643 Рік тому +2

      @@khanyisagura4377 thank you 🙏
      It's not easy... I cherish the time I spend with her but I wish it was different

    • @khanyisagura4377
      @khanyisagura4377 Рік тому +2

      @lesetjamamabolo1643 I totally get you. Maybe God or your ancestors whatever you believe will bring you two someone who will be great for you both. You can pray and ask for anything remember that. And if you believe you are deserving it be given unto you.

    • @lesetjamamabolo1643
      @lesetjamamabolo1643 Рік тому

      @@khanyisagura4377 thank you 🙏

  • @portiaramabulana643
    @portiaramabulana643 Рік тому +1

    Thanks P & P!!! I appreciate the both of you, I think one thing we sometimes overlook is the fact that some woman didn't have good father figures & when we have kids we rather opt to raise kids ourselves, because of daddy traumas. sometimes woman rather parent with stepdads because that can become a controlled environment , if we have triggers everything is a threat, how we were raised has a huge impact on how we parent.

  • @mzikaphalo7684
    @mzikaphalo7684 Рік тому +3

    I've just realized how y'alls opinions on fatherhood are of loving and present fathers. How I'd love to hear such honest opinions from the fathers that refuse to be present and loving to their children.

  • @lindanidubazana3955
    @lindanidubazana3955 Рік тому +3

    This chat got me thinking about how I'm fathering my kids...as a guy that had no male influence in my growth and development. These topics are so important and I really hope that there will be a follow up, maybe with a DJ Sbu or even a panel of other gents who grew up under both circumstances. We need to teach each other, we need to advise each other and learn from each other...as usual...awesome content bros 🤝

  • @nomfundobhengu8420
    @nomfundobhengu8420 Рік тому +7

    You are definitely part of something bigger than yourselves. Siyabonga!!! We definitely need a Part 2 of 5. 😍🤞

    • @Penuelism
      @Penuelism  Рік тому

      Part 2 of 5 😂😂😂

    • @nomfundobhengu8420
      @nomfundobhengu8420 Рік тому +1

      @@Penuelism 😄It's a layered topic/conversations nje. This was a first therapy session of many, for both men & women. You can easily get to 5😇 Thank you in advance😅

    • @kgosigadientertainment2220
      @kgosigadientertainment2220 Рік тому +2

      Actually part 2 of 10....I really enjoyed this episode

    • @Penuelism
      @Penuelism  Рік тому

      @@kgosigadientertainment2220 😂

  • @neoisaacs
    @neoisaacs Рік тому +4

    Lovely episode👏
    I'm 24yr old young adult. Hearing more and more of these interpersonal relationship conversations. I don't understand what's appealing having children or even being in a relationship/marriage. I don't understand why people my age do it. We have so many problems that dating or meeting women isn't appealing. Friendships is more valuable today than a romantic relationship.

    • @paetomatsovele283
      @paetomatsovele283 11 місяців тому

      You are still a young men to understand. Some of the things are better lived/experienced than to be said(theoretical).

  • @thulitukisi1711
    @thulitukisi1711 Рік тому +2

    3. You guys are emphatically relatable. Thank you. Thank you for being so vulnerable. Thank you for being so open. Thank you for investing into what I would believe would not be a directly feasible investment (especially in fhe short/mid term). Thank you for the silent challenges yall endure for us to see this content.
    May God, be with you. No pun intended. Lol

  • @thulitukisi1711
    @thulitukisi1711 Рік тому +2

    Thanks guys. But the sound was quite lower for this 1, (as compared to the previous).Might wanna pump up the sound on next ones please

  • @lutandosobhuza925
    @lutandosobhuza925 Рік тому +4

    Double Impact!

  • @yangamngqibisa4788
    @yangamngqibisa4788 Рік тому +1

    Great conversation. Big ups

  • @mlekalakala839
    @mlekalakala839 Рік тому +1

    Definitely would love to be in the midst of, and listen to men relay their challenges

  • @mercymachete332
    @mercymachete332 Рік тому +1

    I love an appreciate your honesty guys,keep up the good work

  • @pfanomukhodobwane1666
    @pfanomukhodobwane1666 Рік тому +4

    Your brother is so handsome ❤️

  • @njabulodlamini1192
    @njabulodlamini1192 Рік тому +1

    With Kate's question, I think its just a matter of attachment, people tend to be more comfortable where they are not permanatly bound. Hence even cheating partners tend to love their sidechicks /sideboyfriends more than their actual wives/husbands. With their own child there is no going back. With the stepchild he could pull back at any given point in time with no moral obligation

  • @siphosethusihlangu
    @siphosethusihlangu Рік тому +1

    I lived to see my father raise and interact with my cousins better than he did with me, and I've learned that sometimes it's because he knows when he fails me, it's that much more on him than the other. So there is less pressure on the otherside.

    • @siphosethusihlangu
      @siphosethusihlangu Рік тому

      Oh and I lived with both my parents, and my cousins in my home. Have things changed? With growth I've com to understand better how he though he was getting me ready for the future, he did but also left me with a lot of scars. Pen I'd suggest that whilst raising the boy to be strong, also make room for him to be human and find strength even in his vulnerability. Love the show

  • @q.7628
    @q.7628 Рік тому +1

    That turtle and tortoise analogy is very eyebrowsing. Got my one eyebrow up like damn. God help men! I don't relate to the topic but it does have an effect me because of my "interactions with people" and im a very empathatic person. Much of these talks is needed for people to heal, it is one of the biggest issues. Also thanks for mentioning that Tate is toxic, I been saying utoxic la bhuti! And niyamthanda uTate shem

  • @AsavelaTshuta
    @AsavelaTshuta Рік тому +1

    Good work 🎉

  • @donblekosama3989
    @donblekosama3989 Рік тому

    I love pen Evil Dad laugh after he said he hides the bread 😂

  • @thulitukisi1711
    @thulitukisi1711 Рік тому +1

    2. I heavily and deeply am yearning for an episode or something on how you guys have acquired so much knowledge, and can articulate it so well.
    I am very fascinated by Pen's (iykyk👀) ability to capture, hold, and then remember information. How do you guys do some of these stuff!?

  • @fionasmith6686
    @fionasmith6686 Рік тому +3

    I never really understood this. My father, fathers his children from his marriage. However he abandoned me. It's not the case ukuthi he struggles with access or that my mom has a toxic relationship with him. If anything they have an amicable relationship, but none with me at all. This always baffles me, and I struggle with abandonment isssues because in my mind, my father doesn't want me, he rejected me for no reason at all, literally !

    • @banziimavusotv
      @banziimavusotv Рік тому +8

      It's not personal. I'm sorry this has happened to you. Some men are dysfunctional and have made it so normal to compartmentalize their children. It's weird. My sperm donor did that too but I have had a full life and not knowing him saved me from the pain of Abandonment. Love and light.

  • @khanyisagura4377
    @khanyisagura4377 Рік тому +1

    I understand somethings more now. ❤

  • @wandilempungose5202
    @wandilempungose5202 Рік тому

    Patiently Waiting, I enjoyed the last episode with Penson

  • @NicholasMbombo
    @NicholasMbombo Рік тому +1

    Hey Pension is sensitive, but when he responds his a SAVAGE 🤣🤣🤣 his words cut deep madotaa

  • @q.7628
    @q.7628 Рік тому +7

    I got a s/o😂❤🎉 thanks God Pen! Thats it! Yall dont have to rehearse none! Day made! Dangit! I have to download whatsapp again just to put this on my status!❤😂

    • @Penuelism
      @Penuelism  Рік тому

      😊❤️😂

    • @q.7628
      @q.7628 Рік тому

      @@Penuelism I keep rewinding lol, haven't watched the episode yet. I'll watch,when free. Y did you mention the bribe though?! Yaz awukho right! That was my small contribution to the sound, remember there was a sound issue.. bribe?! aibo lol

  • @bluchill
    @bluchill Рік тому

    Dope convo bafewthu, one request....volume please, can barely hear when performing sound producing tasks and listening. That closing bit Panuel was explaining and giving examples of how men might become extreme versions, taking drastic action was just 👌🏿. I always ask myself if some well off people ever think how the French Revolution or even the Arab Spring came about. You cannot be extremely well off right next to people living in poverty, the keg is gonna explode sooner or later.

  • @Sanusinextdoor
    @Sanusinextdoor Рік тому +1

    can we have Penrose join us for a triple session please

  • @thulitukisi1711
    @thulitukisi1711 Рік тому

    1. Yerrl, that was one funny monent with the NewTella 😂🤣

  • @sibongisenisakhele3114
    @sibongisenisakhele3114 8 місяців тому

    You are reminding me. My son shared that he's an emotional guy. So, the guys are probably very sensitive. And not at a level where developed emotional intelligence sufficiently to cope with what's happening inside. Most times, guys can't and don't communicate these difficult and complicated emotions.

  • @danisilemlotshwa4752
    @danisilemlotshwa4752 Рік тому +3

    Double bunk boys 😅

  • @auntyb4130
    @auntyb4130 Рік тому +1

    Penuel maybe it's me but can you bring women Executives and engage them on Leadership topics🙏🙏🙏

  • @sibusisombatha1846
    @sibusisombatha1846 7 місяців тому

    Are you guys bio brothers ngoba niyafana, niqhamuk' endawen' eyodwa, your voices are similar and Penson did mention having an older brother and Penuel happpens to be older. #AskingForABrother

  • @randomlady
    @randomlady Рік тому

    Starting my workingout looking for some good content to listen to and decided to give this video a chance and I just fast forwarded to 18 min in and I see why I havent been engaging with this content anymore....some of us are not on twitter for the same negativity I just heard....no Guys...I understand that you are men and you veiw women differently but I'm not for any content that bashes anyone😢 Hai

  • @sibusisombatha1846
    @sibusisombatha1846 7 місяців тому

    Look up Iyanla: fix my life mothers destroy sons

  • @Papito_ZA
    @Papito_ZA Рік тому

    Sound guys ... Sound quality ma'gents - didnt that young man offer you a dope mic ? U spoke about the audio ..eish nxa😂 ... U hear the quality with proper earphone but when I play it out then itzzz alright 😛

  • @sbahle_says
    @sbahle_says Рік тому

    Looking for the comment that says that these two people are biological brothers because wow 😭
    Haven't watched the video yet

  • @sibusisombatha1846
    @sibusisombatha1846 7 місяців тому

    Brian McKnight

  • @Slindo.
    @Slindo. Рік тому

    This guy said spending 5 hours a week on his child is lucky 😂😂😂😂

  • @mfundotsotetsi2436
    @mfundotsotetsi2436 Рік тому +1

    Or the girls is trying to trap a guy with a child

  • @achatwithgoitse
    @achatwithgoitse Рік тому

    Hmmm, they refusing to parent and I just feel bad for black women ☹️